Latest / Women at Work: Career, Leadership & Modern Work / How the Office Housework Gap Stalls Women Careers
Transcript
- Lucas: So let me ask you this, Luna: have you ever been in a meeting where someone says, 'We need someone to take notes' — and the room goes quiet for a second, and then somehow your hand goes up? Luna: Oh, absolutely. And not just notes. I've planned team offsites, organized farewell gifts, and once I got stuck ordering lunch for a thirty-person quarterly review. The thing is, nobody asked the men to do it. Lucas: Right. That's exactly what researchers call 'office housework' or 'non-promotable tasks.' And there's really good data on this now. A Harvard Business Review study from a couple years ago — by Linda Babcock, Maria Recalde, and Lise Vesterlund — found that women are about 48 percent more likely than men to volunteer for tasks that have low visibility and zero impact on promotion. Luna: Forty-eight percent — that's huge. And it's not just volunteering. They also found that women are asked to do these tasks more often, and they feel more social pressure to say yes. Lucas: Exactly. The researchers ran experiments where they asked people to volunteer for an extra assignment. When they framed it as a low-reward, administrative task — like proofreading a document — women raised their hands significantly more than men. But when it was a high-visibility task, the gap flipped. Men jumped in. Luna: So it's not that women are inherently more helpful. It's that the system — and our expectations — nudge us toward the grunt work. Lucas: Precisely. And the problem is that this builds up over time. If you're spending two hours a week on the 'office housework' that your male colleague isn't doing, that's over a hundred hours a year. Hours you're not spending on strategic projects, networking, or visible deliverables. That gap compounds into a real promotion gap. Luna: Yeah. And I think this is especially tricky in hybrid or remote environments. Because in the office, at least you're seen doing the visible work. When everyone's on Zoom, who's taking notes in the chat? It's usually a woman. Who's scheduling the follow-up? Again, usually a woman. Lucas: That's a great point. The hybrid setting actually makes the invisibility problem worse. There was a study from Microsoft — published last year — that found women use 'chat' features in meetings more than men for logistical coordination. And those contributions are often overlooked when performance reviews come around. Luna: So how do we fix this? I mean, individually, what can a woman do if she's the default note-taker? Lucas: A few things. First, you can use what I call the 'rotation rule.' At the start of a recurring meeting, say, 'Hey, I've taken notes the last three times. Let's rotate — who wants to go next?' That makes it a shared responsibility, not a personal favor. Luna: I like that. But it only works if you have allies. If you're the only woman in a room full of men, and you say that, you might get awkward silence. Lucas: That's true. So another tactic is to reframe the task itself. If someone asks you to take notes, you can say, 'I'm happy to capture the action items, but I also want to make sure I'm fully engaged in the discussion. Could someone else handle the detailed transcription?' That signals that you're not refusing to contribute, but you're prioritizing your participation. Luna: And managers have a huge role here. A good manager should be explicitly distributing non-promotable tasks evenly. Not just asking for volunteers, because we know women will volunteer more. Lucas: Yes. The research backs that up. When leaders assign these tasks randomly or on a rotating schedule, the gender gap in who does the work disappears. It's not about changing women's behavior — it's about changing the system. Luna: And that's the deeper point. We can teach individual strategies, but if the culture doesn't change, women will keep getting burdened. I think about this a lot in terms of mentorship, too. Women are often asked to mentor junior employees more than men are, and that's another form of non-promotable work. Lucas: Exactly. That connects to something we've talked about before — the sponsorship versus mentorship gap. Women get plenty of advice but not enough advocacy. And office housework is part of the same pattern: women are expected to be the helpers, the organizers, the glue. But those roles don't get you promoted. Luna: So let's talk about what listeners can do starting this week. I know we've covered some tactics, but I want something actionable that a woman can use in her next team meeting. Lucas: Okay, here's one. Before your next team meeting, look at the agenda. If there's an item like 'plan the holiday party' or 'update the onboarding document,' ask yourself: is this a promotable task? If not, suggest someone else take it. Or propose that the team use a rotating assignment sheet. A shared document where everyone signs up for low-visibility tasks — that makes the workload transparent. Luna: That's smart. Because right now, a lot of that work is invisible even to the people doing it. You don't realize how much you're taking on until you see it written down. Lucas: Right. And transparency is key. There's a concept in behavioral economics called 'the identifiable victim effect' — we tend to help people we can see. If a task is assigned to a faceless 'team,' everyone assumes someone else will do it. But if you put names next to tasks, it's harder to shirk. Luna: And that applies to managers too. A manager should be looking at their team's task load and asking: 'Who's doing the admin? Who's doing the strategy? Is there a pattern?' Lucas: Absolutely. And if you're a manager listening, you can do something really simple. At the end of a meeting, instead of saying 'Who can take notes?', say 'Luna, you took notes last time. Lucas, you're up this time.' Assign it. That takes the gender bias out of the equation. Luna: You know, Lucas, this topic hits close to home because I've seen it happen in my own teams. And I think it's one of those things that sounds small but accumulates into a real career disadvantage. That's why I'm glad we're talking about it — because a lot of women don't even realize they're doing it. Lucas: And that's the thing about office housework — it's so normalized that we don't question it. We just think, 'Oh, someone has to do it.' And yes, someone does. But it shouldn't always be the same someone, and it shouldn't always be the women. Luna: Exactly. And if we've helped you think through your own situation — maybe you're realizing you've been the default note-taker or party planner — and you want to support more conversations like this, there's a small way to do that. Lucas: Yeah. We keep this podcast ad-free and listener-supported. A handful of our listeners already chip in monthly through buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo, and that's literally what keeps these episodes coming. No pressure, but if you find value in the show, that's where you can help. Luna: And honestly, even just knowing that people are listening and engaging — that matters too. But if you've ever thought 'I wish more people heard this,' that's exactly what the support helps us do. Lucas: Okay, back to the research. I want to mention one more study that I think is really relevant. It's from the Academy of Management Journal, and it found that women who say no to non-promotable tasks are often penalized — they're seen as less likable or less team-oriented. So the fix can't just be individual assertiveness. It has to be systemic. Luna: Right. So we need men to step up, too. Men need to volunteer for the office housework. And managers need to redistribute it. This isn't a women's problem to solve alone. Lucas: Exactly. And there's good evidence that when men take on these tasks, it actually boosts team morale and sets a norm. A study in PLOS ONE showed that when male leaders model equitable task-sharing, the entire team becomes more equitable. Luna: So it's a leadership issue. And I think that's the takeaway: if you're a leader, look at who's doing the invisible work. If it's always the same people — especially women — change the system. Lucas: And if you're an individual contributor, use the strategies we talked about. Rotate tasks, make assignments transparent, and don't be afraid to say, 'I've done this before, let someone else take it.' Luna: Great advice. And for anyone listening who wants to dive deeper, I'd recommend the book 'The No Club' by Linda Babcock and others — it's all about this exact issue. Lucas: Yeah, excellent recommendation. Alright, that's a wrap for today. Thanks for being here, Luna. Luna: Thanks, Lucas. And thanks to everyone listening. See you next time.