Latest / Curiously Guided Podcast / Ep.104 | Romanticizing Your Life & Finding Magic in the Mundane with Shay & Mariah

Transcript

Ep.104 | Romanticizing Your Life & Finding Magic in the Mundane with Shay & Mariah · Curiously Guided Podcast

0:07
Mariah: Welcome to the Curiously Guided Podcast.
0:10
Mariah: We're your hosts, Mariah.
0:12
Shay: And hey guys, I'm Shay.
0:14
Shay: We're two online business consultants passionate about rewriting the rules to success within both life and business.
0:20
Shay: We believe that curiosity is our superpower.
0:24
Shay: And trusting the nudge is a muscle that's meant to be strengthened.
0:28
Mariah: Especially if we want to create a life that feels good from the inside out.
0:33
Shay: So if you're ready to open your mind and let curiosity guide the way, let's get into the episode.
0:40
Shay: Okay, friends, welcome back to the pod.
0:46
Shay: Mariah and I are super gassed up to share um some thoughts with you guys today about a topic that we feel really um inspired by, driven by.
0:58
Shay: Honestly, it's kind of the idea that has fueled my entire life, my entire career, my entire business of um romanticizing your life.
1:07
Shay: You know, how can you take your average Wednesday and turn that into something that is awesome, that you want to do, that doesn't feel like a drudge.
1:15
Shay: And so I have really, in the way that I've built my business and built my career, it's always been around the lifestyle I want to live.
1:25
Shay: And that has really always circled around the idea of I want slow mornings and kind of just like a slower pace of life in general.
1:31
Shay: I really am allergic to the idea of busyness and go, go, go.
1:35
Shay: I hated that, like wake up super early with an alarm, rush around, get ready, commute, like do all the things and start your day frazzled.
1:43
Shay: I wanted slow mornings.
1:44
Shay: And so that's I was like, okay, I gotta get a job, I gotta learn a skill set, I gotta make money in that way that allows me to have slow mornings.
1:51
Shay: And another big thing for me is being able to like go outside on a nice afternoon.
1:55
Shay: So Mariah and I, I think have um kind of a unique perspective on this because we've both been so dedicated to carving out moments in our lives and trying to romanticize them in whatever way that means.
2:10
Shay: But there's something really powerful about being present, whether it's while you're doing the dishes or going outside and getting some sunshine or not waking up to an alarm, you know, whatever that is, there's kind of a cool message in this viral trend of romanticizing your life about like presence and mindfulness.
2:31
Shay: And today we really just wanted to share with you guys um some info, maybe, about how we have always tried to romanticize our lives and give you some ideas for how we do that.
2:40
Mariah: Yeah, and it's funny because I feel like when you say how to romanticize your life, like my brain goes to, I'm obviously having to wear a dress and I have to frolic through a lavender field in the early spring with my bare feet on the ground and smiling as I'm twirling.
3:00
Mariah: Like that shit is where my brain goes when it comes to romanticizing your life.
3:05
Mariah: And like, maybe you don't like dresses, maybe you're allergic to lavender.
3:09
Mariah: And so it's literally like you just think of this and you're like, well, that's not really me.
3:14
Mariah: Like maybe you don't feel like like that type of it.
3:21
Mariah: Do you know what I mean?
3:22
Mariah: Like romanticize people can just see that word and it can feel very, very, very limiting.
3:28
Mariah: But I feel like I like the perspective and like the curiosity that it can bring.
3:35
Mariah: And so when we were talking about this episode, I was like, let me just like do a really quick like definition thing.
3:43
Mariah: And I was surprised to see one word in this definition.
3:48
Mariah: And so this is the AI overview from Google.
3:51
Mariah: Okay, this is not from Merriam-Webster's, but it says to romanticize means to describe, think about, or make something seem more attractive, exciting, or I idealized than it really is.
4:07
Mariah: I didn't expect it to say exciting.
4:11
Mariah: That was kind of surprising to me.
4:13
Mariah: And when me and Shay were talking about romanticizing, it's kind of like slowing down and and and patience and really being in the moment.
4:22
Mariah: And to me, I'm like, but it's also like exciting and fun, and you're just like feeling deeper about it.
4:30
Mariah: And so I just wanted to share that definition, and I think the way that we kind of approach it is gonna help maybe look at the word a little differently or expand, help you get curious about like what romanticize means for you specifically, because we all have different flavors and it can all mean something for each of us.
4:51
Shay: I really like that you went there.
4:53
Shay: Something that Ryan and I have been talking about offline is kind of like this conversation around feminine energy and what does that mean for women like us who have not always identified with all of those labels?
5:04
Shay: And so I think it's interesting because when I do think about romanticizing my life, the first things that pop up my head are the TikToks of the girls in the prairie dresses kind of like running through a field.
5:14
Shay: And that's not it for me.
5:17
Shay: And I am like, honestly, when we first started talking about this episode, I'm like rolling my eyes a little bit because I'm like, please.
5:23
Shay: But what Mariah is saying is true, as every single episode we're telling you guys, you have to figure out how this looks for you and what it looks like.
5:32
Shay: And the don't throw the baby out with the bathwater.
5:35
Shay: This idea of romanticizing your life is really powerful because it's um a reminder.
5:42
Shay: Anything we do in life, it's really all about the story that we're telling ourselves while we're doing it, right?
5:48
Shay: Like I can sit there and be doing the dishes in the morning and just be like salty and just be like, ugh, why do I have to do this?
5:55
Shay: These dishes that keep coming back every single day.
5:57
Shay: Oh my God, and overwhelmed and mad.
5:59
Shay: Maybe somebody else didn't do them, whatever.
6:01
Shay: Or I can sit there and be like, I love this hot water on my hands.
6:05
Shay: It feels so good.
6:06
Shay: And like I am really particular about like soaps.
6:08
Shay: Like I always have a fancy soap that I'm using, so I like the smell and I'm like having a full sensory experience.
6:14
Shay: That's the same activity.
6:15
Shay: And I could have gone at it one of two ways, right?
6:18
Shay: And what do you think I'm gonna leave feeling better about and like priming my brain for having a better day?
6:25
Shay: It's it's approaching the dishes with that attitude of romanticizing.
6:29
Shay: How can I make this more fun?
6:30
Shay: How can I make this more enjoyable?
6:31
Shay: How can I make this pleasure?
6:34
Shay: Uh, I had talked to Mariah earlier about like there's this idea of like savoring the micro moments in your life.
6:40
Shay: Like, how can you really just like bathe in presence and what you're doing and feel it?
6:45
Shay: I think a lot of us are pretty numbed out and we're kind of just like head down blasting through life.
6:50
Shay: I gotta get through the dishes, I gotta clean the kitchen, I gotta do this, I gotta send this email.
6:53
Shay: We're not feeling anything.
6:55
Shay: So the bigger picture with the romanticizing to me is allowing yourself to really enjoy life, right?
7:04
Shay: What is life besides present moments, right?
7:08
Shay: You you can spend your whole life focused on what's coming, what's ahead, or focused on what's happened in the past and totally blind to what is going on around you right now.
7:19
Shay: And I think that that's all we have.
7:22
Shay: I know this is like kind of mindfulness 101, but like the present moment is literally it.
7:26
Shay: And we are all so stimulated, so overwhelmed, so bombarded that remembering how to enjoy the dishes, remembering how to go on a drive with the windows down, listen to the radio, like some of those like basic life pleasures, that that is the juice that lights your fire.
7:41
Shay: That is the juice that helps you step into your authenticity and get to know yourself and get to know what you like.
7:46
Shay: So that's kind of the bigger picture here of why we think this is important.
7:50
Shay: Um, in how for me at least, it's like the thing that fuels me, fills my cup, keeps me going.
7:59
Shay: Like if I didn't have these moments of silliness scheduled in my life, I I mean, I I know what I'm like without that.
8:05
Shay: So I I know that it just makes me a much better person.
8:08
Mariah: And it's all like it's just finding the magic in the mundane.
8:12
Mariah: Like that's it.
8:14
Mariah: Like romanticizing, it's like we we kind of sometimes want to put baby in a box with it.
8:19
Mariah: And it's like, it's literally just like like you were saying, can you make the dishes enjoyable?
8:26
Mariah: You have to do them anyways.
8:27
Mariah: And I'm not saying like if you're in a depressive season or you're going through something in like grief and all of that, like I'm not saying to like pretend like that's not a thing, you know what I mean?
8:38
Mariah: Like, we do have to be honest about how we feel, but like on the day-to-day level, can you find that little glimmer of magic?
8:46
Mariah: Because we are overstimulated.
8:48
Mariah: And if you don't start training your brain to notice the magic in the mundane, 10 years will pass and you'll be like, What the fuck did I do?
8:58
Mariah: Because we can, if we don't have anything and we're not intentional about this, we will all waste our lives scrolling on our phones.
9:07
Mariah: It's just what we do when we have fucking space.
9:11
Mariah: And so it's like I'm guilty of this too.
9:14
Mariah: You know what I mean?
9:14
Mariah: Where it's like, if I had maybe like a really, I don't want to say a rough day, but it's like maybe I had a busy day with so many calls and I'm just like go, go, go.
9:22
Mariah: I had my schedule packed.
9:24
Mariah: I can stay in that mind loop.
9:27
Mariah: And I I shared this in the previous episode.
9:29
Mariah: I can stay in that mind loop, and then my yellow flag is am I trying to like speed up the act of making dinner for myself and my husband?
9:42
Mariah: Like that's my yellow flag of like, hey, we're going too quick.
9:45
Mariah: And like that's my yellow flag of like, hey, slow down, take a breath.
9:49
Mariah: Can you feel the knife in your hands as you're slowly cooking the vegetables or like cutting the vegetables?
9:55
Mariah: Like that type of thing.
9:57
Mariah: And like I cook dinner almost every night for both of us.
10:00
Mariah: It can feel mundane as fuck, but I enjoy the invitation.
10:06
Mariah: Like, that is my invitation because I actually do enjoy cooking and the creativity of it, but that's my invitation to be like, hey, if you up until this point in the day did not infuse any magic in your day, can you do it right now?
10:20
Mariah: And so it's like, is there something in your life that you're doing?
10:24
Mariah: Like I was actually having a conversation with a friend yesterday about this, and she was like, I'm really glad that you brought that up.
10:30
Mariah: She goes, Because my yellow flag is when I'm like rushing to play with my kids after work, and I'm literally just sitting like, okay, okay, like ha ha, I'm a choo-choo, trying choo-choo, and like not actually enjoying it.
10:42
Mariah: And she was like, But I know that I've like slowed down to enjoy the day when like I'm enjoying playing with my child right now.
10:50
Mariah: And so it's like, I think everybody is going to have that that little yellow flag, but like having it be something that like is very routine can be a huge um like signal to you to kind of slow down.
11:05
Mariah: You know, I love that.
11:08
Shay: And I um you said magic there, and that like really struck me.
11:14
Shay: And there's actually uh the other side of this conversation.
11:17
Shay: I know you guys may be listening, you're like, okay, Shane Mariah, yeah, cool.
11:20
Shay: You're telling us how to have fun while doing chores, but the other part of this that we want to get into is uh claiming space for play, fun, joy in your schedule.
11:32
Shay: So, yes, there are things we have to do, and we can choose the attitude that we bring to those things.
11:37
Shay: And I do think if you can't bring kind of like a grateful attitude to the mundane, that makes all the difference.
11:44
Shay: But the other side is how the other thing you brought up is this idea of space.
11:49
Shay: What are we doing to fill our space?
11:51
Shay: And I think a lot of us, me personally, I just told Mariah before I hopped on, like, I'll roll over in the morning and want to fill the space immediately.
11:58
Shay: I'll grab my phone without even thinking about it.
12:00
Shay: And then I'm in Instagram and I'm in the messages and on deep, and it's been 45 minutes.
12:04
Shay: And I do that a lot throughout the day.
12:07
Shay: And it's got me really thinking like, how do I use my space?
12:11
Shay: And one thing that Ryan and I really try to be intentional about is carving out points in our schedule for magic, for silliness, for fun, for play.
12:20
Shay: Just to give you guys an example.
12:22
Shay: Um, my best friend and Samantha and I, on Tuesday this week, we have a photographer friend.
12:29
Shay: We bought scream masks.
12:31
Shay: She messaged me this photo of two girls at a scream masks, and we're like, she's like, Would you do a photo shoot like this with me?
12:36
Shay: And I was like, Yeah, but can we have baseball bats?
12:38
Shay: She's like, Yeah, and what about pumpkins?
12:40
Shay: And I was like, Yeah.
12:41
Shay: And so we did this super silly, insane on a Tuesday afternoon photo shoot and scream mask, baseball betting pumpkins, and it was fucking sick.
12:51
Shay: It turned out so cool.
12:52
Shay: I've always wanted to do something like that.
12:54
Shay: Totally frivolous, total nonsense.
12:57
Shay: Why am I doing this on a Tuesday?
12:59
Shay: But like I felt so just like confident and proud of myself, and like it felt like I was grabbing life, and like that is a moment that I will look back on my deathbed and remember.
13:10
Shay: Not that I spent that Tuesday afternoon scrolling my phone or working extra, you know?
13:16
Shay: And so this idea, I think a lot of us when we turn into adults, we stop scheduling time.
13:23
Shay: We don't, we're not, hey, we're not bored anymore.
13:25
Shay: There's no boredom when we have when we're bored.
13:27
Shay: It used to be when we were kids, we were bored, you'd get into some silliness, you'd have some fun, you'd use your creative mind.
13:31
Shay: We don't have boredom, we just get on our phones.
13:34
Shay: And so I think if you aren't intentional, intentional about making space for fun, for play and your schedule, you're not gonna have it.
13:45
Shay: Like Mariah said, you can easily go through all of life in robot mode, not feeling powering through, doing the shit, getting your things done.
13:53
Shay: And to me, that's a that's like a life not lived.
13:57
Shay: Like that is my worst case scenario.
14:00
Shay: And so this idea of like, how do you create your own magic?
14:03
Shay: And I think there's something cool even in like listening to yourself.
14:06
Shay: What do you want to do?
14:08
Shay: Like, I had a friend recently share, like, I found out about this random state park and a state two, like two states away from us.
14:15
Shay: I think I'm just gonna take a road trip, put the windows down, listen to the radio, and and I don't know why I want to do that, but I just want to do it.
14:21
Shay: And I think that kind of stuff that's where you should like run to.
14:25
Shay: That's what you should embrace.
14:26
Shay: You know, that is higher self trying to communicate with you and then show you who you are and what you like and and what you want to do.
14:34
Shay: And so I think it may be difficult because I think a lot of us feel very busy and I don't have time for this or that.
14:41
Shay: I don't have time to um, Julia Cameron has this cool idea about the artist date where like every Thursday she shuts down her afternoon and she just asks herself on that day, what do I want to do today?
14:53
Shay: And it may be like go to a park and maybe go to the craft store and buy some fun things, you know, whatever it is.
14:59
Shay: But she makes sure in her schedule that she is spending time with her and taking herself on a date and is spending a time with her fun and her play and her in her child, if you will.
15:10
Shay: And I love that practice.
15:12
Shay: I think that's cool and it gives me more juice in my life than perhaps anything else.
15:19
Mariah: Yeah, it's funny because I've been doing that over the past couple months too, and I just call it like a Mariah Day.
15:25
Mariah: And I'll tell Andrew, I'm just like, I'm having a Mariah Day.
15:28
Mariah: You don't get to ask me to do anything.
15:29
Mariah: And like the Mariah, the Mariah Day is tomorrow.
15:32
Mariah: So, like, if you need me to do anything, like ask me right now because otherwise, like it's a no for me unless I literally want to do it.
15:40
Mariah: So, like, don't even ask me for anything.
15:42
Mariah: And he loves it when I have a Mariah Day because I'm just so joyful popping around, doing what I want to do, and then it naturally feeds into him, and then he's joyful, and then we're giggling in the kitchen about some dumb shit.
15:56
Mariah: And so it's like, I know that we can't always have a Mariah Day.
16:02
Mariah: And so it's like, can you just do infuse something in the micro moments essentially?
16:09
Mariah: And so Andrew actually, he's been uh he's been learning about the lymphs.
16:13
Mariah: Okay, and so like moving the lymph, moving your body.
16:17
Mariah: He was like, We're all just so fucking sedentary.
16:19
Mariah: Like, I just want to move more, but I know myself.
16:24
Mariah: He'll he'll fall into the same thing.
16:25
Mariah: If I don't have anything to do, I'll pick up a video game, I'll scroll on my phone, I'll watch dumb shit on YouTube.
16:30
Mariah: And so he was um, he was like, you know what?
16:33
Mariah: I'm gonna buy one of those rebounder trampolines.
16:36
Mariah: And I was like, Okay, dude, that's gonna be like whatever.
16:39
Mariah: I used to have a rebounder, we never used it, it was in the closet, whatever.
16:44
Mariah: He ended up buying it and we put it in our living room, and it is not cute, but every time we walk by it, like in order to sit on the couch, in order to watch TV, in order to walk upstairs, you have to pass by this rebounder.
17:00
Mariah: And we've kind of made it this thing where it's like neither of us are spending 10 minutes on the rebounder.
17:06
Mariah: I'm not like changing into my fucking sport or my workout outfit and like jumping on the rebounder.
17:12
Mariah: We literally just do like a minute or two minutes at a time.
17:17
Mariah: And so, like in the morning before we have coffee, we will like jump for one minute.
17:22
Mariah: And I don't know what it is about this rebounder, but in my head, it just takes me back to when I was a kid and all of my best friends had trampolines, and I love trampolines, they were so fun to me.
17:35
Mariah: And so, like having this rebounder, I'm literally just jumping up and down, and it just takes me back to childhood where I was just so carefree jumping around with my friends.
17:44
Mariah: And it's cool because it's in the living room, and I know that this wouldn't work for everybody, but like it's in the living room, and so sometimes even after dinner, I get in like silly moods and I'm just like blah blah and Andrew's like, what is wrong with you?
17:57
Mariah: And I'm like, I am just a silly little goose right now.
17:59
Mariah: And then I have the rebounder to jump up and down and I make funny faces, and like I just feel like a fucking weirdo, and it is like liberating.
18:08
Mariah: I just love it, and then I'm being silly, and then that makes Andrew be silly, and then we're just laughing.
18:15
Mariah: And you know what they say?
18:16
Mariah: Like, laughter is the best medicine.
18:18
Mariah: We're all so fucking serious.
18:20
Mariah: Why can't I just jump up and down and make absolutely ridiculous noises?
18:26
Mariah: It feels so good for no reason.
18:30
Mariah: It is no reason to feel as fun as it is because like when I say it out loud, it feels lame.
18:37
Mariah: But it's like I'll even jump on the trampoline for um 60 seconds, like while we're watching some TV show.
18:44
Mariah: I'm literally just jumping up and down.
18:46
Mariah: I'm like, oh yeah, I feel good.
18:47
Mariah: And then I'm like walking away.
18:50
Mariah: And it's like, so it doesn't have to be a whole day.
18:52
Mariah: If you can have a whole day, it can be 60 seconds.
18:56
Mariah: You also don't need a rebounder.
18:58
Mariah: Can you literally just be a weird toddler and just like let your body be weird?
19:04
Mariah: Like, I have friends that have kids and they are toddlers.
19:08
Mariah: And if you literally just watch them, they are weirdos.
19:11
Mariah: And it's my favorite part of children because like they just do weird things to giggle and laugh.
19:17
Mariah: And like, as an adult, can we have more of that?
19:21
Mariah: This season of the Curiously Guided Podcast, including this episode, is sponsored by Adobe Acrobat.
19:36
Mariah: Now, I'm gonna ask you a question, and it's gonna feel a little bit random, but stay with me here.
19:40
Mariah: So, what if your audience could actually talk back to your content, not just consume it and move on, but actually get to ask it questions?
19:49
Mariah: They can get a summary, they can say, hey, which podcast episode talked about X?
19:55
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19:58
Mariah: And actually get an answer because that's literally what Acrobats PDF Spaces is doing now.
20:05
Mariah: If you've been a listener for a while, you know that we built this whole podcast around the idea that curiosity is your true superpower, and that the best things happen when we ask the question, follow the nudge, and let curiosity guide the way.
20:22
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20:27
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20:33
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20:43
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20:49
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20:55
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20:58
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20:59
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21:02
Mariah: This really has been blowing our minds lately, and we think you're gonna like it.
21:21
Shay: While you were talking, it reminded me of a conversation that we had earlier in the week offline.
21:26
Shay: Mariah and I both have listened to a podcast episode with Kathy Heller and Kimberly Snyder, and in it they share this quote that um I'm gonna butcher it, but basically the idea is the only way the soul gets gratification.
21:42
Shay: So, like the only real validation, gratification, like good stuff in this life is when you make decisions and make actions that are in alignment with who you are, with your authenticity.
21:54
Shay: So no amount of money earned, no amount of achievement, no amount of love.
21:59
Shay: From some other somebody else, no amount of good deeds is going to reward your soul.
22:04
Shay: The literal only thing that rewards your soul is when you act in alignment with who you are.
22:10
Shay: And I was like, holy shit, like that, that that is interesting.
22:15
Shay: And how many of us walk around?
22:16
Shay: One thing I would talk with Mariah about lately is I just feel a little deluded, like not like myself.
22:23
Shay: I don't really, I feel like I am losing sense of myself sometimes, especially if I'm too in the phone and too concerned with everybody else is doing.
22:30
Shay: And I think a lot of us feel really just dull and numb and and and unsure of like what our fire is.
22:37
Shay: And so that idea of the only thing that feeds the soul is acting in alignment with who I really am has really kind of inspired me to, I've just been like ruthlessly pursuing getting more weird.
22:49
Shay: I've been telling everybody, like, I'm trying to be more weird.
22:51
Shay: When I share this photo shoot on Instagram, I'm gonna post like getting weirder.
22:55
Shay: Like I want, I have spent my whole life feeling a bit like an alien and feeling weird and trying to like cover that up to fit in.
23:02
Shay: And so this idea of like, oh no, Shay, the only thing that feeds your soul is you just dive in head first into that weirdness, like embrace that weirdness.
23:10
Shay: What does that weirdness look like as an adult?
23:12
Shay: You know, it looks like scream masks in baseball bats, you know, and it looks like the totally weird job that like nobody understands.
23:21
Shay: And so, like, this idea of allowing myself to be seen being weirder and then also actively encouraging my friends to be quote unquote weirder, I think is getting us all at this idea of who are you?
23:34
Shay: And are you spending time getting to know yourself?
23:37
Shay: What was the last thing that made you happy?
23:39
Shay: If you go around and ask people what made you happy today, what's the last thing that made you happy?
23:42
Shay: Most people can't answer.
23:44
Shay: It's it's really like we're all so serious and we are all so goal driven.
23:52
Shay: And not that all of that isn't awesome and like we need different seasons and all of that stuff, but I don't know.
23:59
Shay: I don't hear people talking about adults and play very much.
24:03
Shay: I don't hear people talking about taking Thursday afternoons off to take themselves on a date or like acting silly, you know?
24:10
Shay: And and like what I well, I think it's um Mike Barbicli on his podcast, or it might be another comedian.
24:20
Shay: They ask, when was the time you laughed the hardest?
24:22
Shay: So, like, can you think back of a time you laughed the hardest?
24:24
Shay: And for me, I always go back to these moments with just like with my friends, just like laughing so hard at hurt.
24:30
Shay: And like those are moments that I like remember and like cherish.
24:33
Shay: And we were just being silly.
24:35
Shay: Like we weren't having there was literally nothing going on.
24:38
Shay: We were just bored and like being silly together.
24:40
Shay: And so that's one thing I've really been trying to craft is am I making intentional space for relationships and for friendships where we're there, we're present together, we're not on our screens, and we're not really doing much.
24:52
Shay: Like we're just have some space, maybe make make a kinfire, you know, like just be with other humans, be with your people and like get silly, be fun, encourage them to be weird.
25:03
Shay: And in that, that for me at least has been the ticket out of severe depression, out of kind of those mental fog states is realizing I feel diluted and then realizing if I want to feel more concentrated and more like Shay, I have to stop doing things that dilute me, which is spreading my attention across social media, not being being intentional with the space in my life, not practicing gratitude literally in every fucking moment.
25:29
Shay: And I'm realizing about mental health, it's a 24-7 game, man.
25:34
Shay: You gotta be on your thoughts.
25:36
Shay: You gotta be pay thought, you're going crazy, you're going down a weird road right here.
25:40
Shay: You gotta be corralling yourself constantly.
25:43
Shay: And so it can feel like a dredge.
25:45
Shay: Of course, life can feel like a dredge.
25:47
Shay: We got all these chores to do, we gotta do all this hygiene with ourselves and with our mental health.
25:51
Shay: We need a little bit of fun.
25:53
Shay: Like, we have to have a little bit of fun, a little bit of silliness, a little bit of play.
25:57
Shay: That's the only medicine to balance out the heaviness of everything else.
26:04
Mariah: I think that like joy and like silliness, I think it is the medicine to like the way that we're operating in this modern society.
26:18
Mariah: And maybe that's why the idea of like romanticizing your life keeps coming up and we're all really fucking attracted to it because we're all serious.
26:26
Mariah: But it's like I have found that the sillier I am, the weirder I am, the more that I can find the magic in the mundane, I actually don't have to sit there and stop my thoughts because I'm not in my fucking head.
26:42
Mariah: And so it's like the more that I can like tell my brain, like there's another way to operate where I don't have to be like so serious about these thoughts.
26:52
Mariah: We gotta cut this thought out and cut this thought out and stop this loop.
26:56
Mariah: It's like actually when I'm looping, that's a sign, it's a yellow flag.
27:00
Mariah: Actually, that might that's red flag.
27:02
Mariah: That isn't that is red flag, alert, alert, yeah.
27:05
Mariah: Like go outside, put your feet on the damn ground.
27:07
Mariah: But it's like I find when I'm in this silly moment, the best part is I'm not thinking.
27:12
Mariah: I'm not sitting here like hyper focused on anything, I'm just being, and like every spiritual text that's out there and every fucking personal development thing, we can narrow it down to this be.
27:29
Mariah: What are ways that you can find to?
27:32
Mariah: And some people say, like yogis will say, come back to the breath, and other people be like, it's something, something in the stillness.
27:39
Mariah: But it's literally like, how can you just come back to your natural state without the mind chatter and showing your brain that like there is another way?
27:49
Mariah: And so it's funny because I do think that it's easier for me now to be able to fall into this place because A, it's our natural state, but B, I don't know if I've ever shared this on the podcast, but when I was 16, there's like a specific time that I remember.
28:09
Mariah: I remember standing in my kitchen, and I remember thinking about like, I don't know, I maybe it was like a friend's birthday or something like that.
28:17
Mariah: And like I saw somebody gave them a gift, and they like genuinely like looked happy about it, like surprised and grateful.
28:25
Mariah: And I remember sitting like standing in my kitchen, maybe like a couple hours later by myself, and I was like, when have I ever felt that natural joy to where I couldn't help myself but express it?
28:39
Mariah: When I was 16, I was so fucking serious.
28:44
Mariah: There was goals that I I had to get into college.
28:46
Mariah: I had to, well, my family has lit like negative money, and so it's like, well, ain't nobody gonna pay for it.
28:52
Mariah: So, like, girl, you better get your grades up.
28:54
Mariah: And then I was like being a parent to my parents my entire life, and everything was so fucking serious.
29:01
Mariah: And like being 16, even now, like that day sticks in my mind of like as a 16-year-old, I was like, Have I ever truly felt joy?
29:09
Mariah: And that was fucking horrifying to me.
29:12
Mariah: I was like, oh my God.
29:14
Mariah: And I didn't have the answer.
29:16
Mariah: It was just the question that I had, and I kind of allowed myself to sit with it a little bit.
29:20
Mariah: And then a couple of years later, I think I was probably like 19 or 20, I ended up talking to this dude, you know, like those dudes where it's like, you're not really dating, but like you're making out on the regular.
29:30
Mariah: And like we were hanging out all the time, and he was a couple years older than me, and he was just a fucking silly goose, dude.
29:39
Mariah: Like we would go to the grocery store and we would buy, I don't know, like energy drinks or something.
29:44
Mariah: And he would just say something absolutely ridiculous to the cashier.
29:48
Mariah: The cashier would start laughing.
29:50
Mariah: I would sit there and I was still serious, girl.
29:52
Mariah: And I would sit there and be like, oh my God, you're literally like so fucking embarrassing.
29:56
Mariah: Like, what are you doing?
29:57
Mariah: And he would just be like, who cares?
29:59
Mariah: Like, whatever.
30:00
Mariah: And he was like, have a great day.
30:01
Mariah: And he was always like, there would be like an old person walking down the street, and he would just run up to the old person and he'd be like, Hey, how's your day going?
30:07
Mariah: Like, what's the best part of your week?
30:09
Mariah: And I was like, You can't do that.
30:10
Mariah: Nobody wants to fucking talk to you.
30:12
Mariah: You're a weirdo.
30:14
Mariah: What are you doing?
30:15
Mariah: And like I remember we used to go for bike rides all the time, and he would just like scream at the top of his lungs when we were bike riding, like through a neighborhood.
30:24
Mariah: And I was like, What?
30:25
Mariah: And then the one time there was, I don't know why this is like a core memory for me, but he's riding his bike and I'm behind him.
30:31
Mariah: And he thought it would be funny to run over a ketchup packet.
30:35
Mariah: The ketchup packet ends up squirting all up his leg, and he literally was laughing so hard that we had to pull the bike over.
30:43
Mariah: And I was like, This is so like gross, dude.
30:46
Mariah: Like, where the fuck did that ketchup packet come from?
30:48
Mariah: How old is that ketchup packet?
30:50
Mariah: Like, that's disgusting.
30:51
Mariah: And he didn't wipe his leg off right away.
30:53
Mariah: He was like just sitting there looking at it, like laughing hysterically.
30:57
Mariah: And then he used to tell me like absolutely ridiculous stories from his childhood and like whatever.
31:02
Mariah: And when we stopped talking, we kind of like went our separate ways.
31:06
Mariah: And that was the season, that was the time, the person.
31:13
Mariah: And I've told him this since then, where it's like, I didn't realize that you could have so much joy in life.
31:21
Mariah: And like, I am so grateful for that experience and like meeting him and like experiencing his joyfulness because like I didn't know that that was possible.
31:31
Mariah: Nobody around me as an adult was doing dumb shit like that and literally just giggling.
31:38
Mariah: And then randomly he would be like, I don't know, like I kind I kind of want to get a dog.
31:42
Mariah: And I was like, Yeah, but like, don't you have to like ask your landlord?
31:44
Mariah: He was like, I think that they'll be fine with it.
31:47
Speaker: Like, I'm just gonna go buy a dog.
31:48
Speaker: He bought a dog and he just like had so much joy from this fucking dog.
31:51
Speaker: And I was like, I didn't know that you could do that.
31:54
Speaker: I didn't know that you could just decide that you want something and go and get it and then laugh about a catch-up packet on your leg.
32:01
Mariah: And so it's like I share that because like sometimes we don't have those relationships in order to show us like that that's an example.
32:12
Mariah: So sometimes we have to be the example.
32:15
Mariah: So it's like, can you go for a bike ride and ride over a fucking catch-up packet?
32:20
Mariah: Like, just giggle more, have more conversations.
32:24
Mariah: It's not that serious.
32:27
Shay: You know, as you were talking, I had this like visual of this guy, and I just kept thinking, like, freedom, free.
32:33
Shay: He sounds so free, he like feels so free.
32:36
Shay: And I think maybe that is why I'm so attracted to this idea, and I'm interested in how I'm making time for me and choosing myself and my want.
32:45
Shay: Because isn't it interesting that he's such an anomaly?
32:49
Shay: Like, we don't have so many examples of people being free like that and expressing themselves and being in joy and reminding us that what is the fucking point?
32:59
Shay: Why are we here?
33:00
Shay: Like, there's been all these cool reels going around lately.
33:03
Shay: Like, I'm just trying to remind myself that all I'm here to do is like eat blueberries and take care of my offspring, you know, and the rest of it is all made up.
33:09
Shay: And like that is true.
33:10
Shay: Like, literally, all of this is made up.
33:13
Shay: It's or whatever, however, you want to think about that.
33:15
Shay: We're just little specks of dust on this big rock.
33:18
Shay: You get to make what you want out of this life.
33:19
Shay: And so, what I love about that story is I think a lot of us don't have the skill that he had, which is, how am I feeling right now?
33:28
Shay: What do I want?
33:29
Shay: And then I can go, I have agency, I can go grab what I want, I can go get that.
33:35
Shay: Like, I a lot of us are even disconnected from what we want.
33:38
Shay: I really don't, I've said that a lot on this podcast.
33:40
Shay: I don't think a lot of us have a good connection with like, what is it that I want to go do?
33:46
Shay: I'm you maybe you're listening to this podcast right now and you're like, I don't know, I don't know what romanticizing my life looks like for me.
33:52
Shay: Like that, I think is very normal.
33:54
Shay: And I've absurdly been in those seasons.
33:55
Shay: And so when you do get a little perk up by I want to drive to this park or I want to do that or this, I think you should follow that because those are all your little breadcombs.
34:03
Shay: Um, but there's I think the biggest skill you can have in life is to be able to diagnose yourself in the real moment.
34:11
Shay: So, like if you are feeling down, life is feeling drudge.
34:15
Shay: I share a lot.
34:16
Shay: Like sometimes I can just get in this mindset.
34:18
Shay: I'm like, life is all chores, this feels like drudgery.
34:21
Shay: How do I get out of this?
34:22
Shay: I think the skill is okay, right now I'm feeling a little salty.
34:27
Shay: What does Shay need to feel less salty?
34:30
Shay: And honestly, for me, the answer is just some free time, usually.
34:34
Shay: Like, I just need some time to be.
34:36
Shay: I need some time to go be silly, do what I want.
34:38
Shay: Like, maybe for me, putting is nice sometimes, but whatever that is, and then going to give it to yourself.
34:44
Shay: Do you need to go move your body?
34:45
Shay: Do you need to go eat?
34:46
Shay: Do you need to go have fun and play?
34:48
Shay: And I think a lot of us we've been aware of this.
34:51
Shay: We're like, I'm eating right and I'm sleeping well and I'm taking care of my body.
34:54
Shay: And I feel like play and joy and fun is now this next level.
34:59
Shay: Can you allow?
35:00
Shay: It's allowing yourself, it's giving yourself permission.
35:02
Shay: Like you had that wonderful man that like gave you permission.
35:05
Shay: But really, at the end of the day, you have to give yourself permission.
35:08
Shay: And then the final step is you have to fucking grab it.
35:11
Shay: You have to make it happen.
35:14
Shay: Because if you do not make it happen, if you do not set the side the time aside on your calendar, I promise you, you're either going to get on your phone or you're going to prioritize something else.
35:22
Shay: Because this is the kind of stuff that your brain's going to want to avoid.
35:26
Shay: It's going to feel frivolous, it's going to feel selfish, it's going to feel pointless.
35:29
Shay: It's going to feel like, I'm so busy, I don't have time to be doing any of these things.
35:33
Shay: But you're going to live your whole life in robot mode if you are not intentionally grabbing these moments.
35:40
Shay: You're not diagnosing, you're not asking yourself what you want, you're not getting to know what you want, and then you're not going after and grabbing what you want.
35:46
Shay: To me, that is a life not lived.
35:49
Shay: And so, like, I love that example because isn't it cool to know that there's some humans that just have always had that?
35:55
Shay: And like, isn't it cool that he's shining his light in the world and showing all of us that we can have that too?
36:01
Shay: And it makes me feel inspired.
36:04
Shay: Like, I want to be seen being more silly.
36:06
Shay: I want to be him for people in my life, you know.
36:09
Shay: Like, I love that example.
36:11
Mariah: Yeah.
36:11
Mariah: And it's funny because it was also at like a really awful time in his life.
36:16
Mariah: Like, he just lost like a very well-paying job.
36:18
Mariah: Like, he didn't have a job.
36:20
Mariah: He was living on his own, like, whatever, and like he had no money coming in.
36:24
Mariah: And he still was able to find these little pockets of joy with a catch-up packet.
36:29
Mariah: I think that that's the only thing that like kept him moving forward because things felt really heavy internally.
36:36
Mariah: But the other example is in a in a previous life, I was um a preschool teacher or an assistant preschool teacher in like a two and three-year-old room.
36:50
Mariah: And I remember like these kids, I love kids.
36:54
Mariah: And they really respected me.
36:57
Mariah: Like two-year-olds and three-year-olds really respected me.
37:00
Mariah: And, you know, as as much as they could.
37:02
Mariah: But I think it's because like we had structure and we had boundaries.
37:06
Mariah: So it's like bringing in that seriousness that like we all need because we can't just like float around like giggling about catch-up packets all the fucking time.
37:14
Mariah: You know what I mean?
37:14
Mariah: Like, we we do need structure.
37:16
Mariah: Um, but in between the structure, it was literally like I remember some of them were getting like so aggravated with each other because like when you're in a preschool, I had 10 two-year-olds in one room.
37:29
Mariah: That's a lot of energy and chaos.
37:32
Mariah: And like toddlers don't really listen sometimes, and like they're hitting each other and they're hanging out.
37:38
Mariah: And so sometimes when I felt like the energy was just a little too chaotic, I would be like, hey, stop.
37:43
Mariah: We're gonna get the wiggles out.
37:45
Mariah: We're just gonna get the wiggles out.
37:46
Mariah: And so, like, yo, the wiggles fucking had something because like you could see a wild, noticeable difference in these children and in myself when I was like, we're just gonna be weird, like get the wiggles out, shake, shake, shake.
38:00
Mariah: And if kids like felt a little weird, I'd let them warm up and I'm like, how much more can you shake?
38:05
Mariah: And really just see if they can amp it up.
38:08
Mariah: After that, they would be giggling with each other, they'd be more creative, they want to go and play with this other thing.
38:13
Mariah: And I'm just like, can we uh if if we are in serious mode, can we just get the wiggles out more?
38:23
Shay: It's funny, I've gotten the wiggles out with high school students before, and I've gotten the wiggles out with adults in a workshop before, and there is something really powerful about that and like getting kind of silly with each other and like moving in a silly way in front of other people.
38:37
Shay: And obviously, we talk a lot about releasing um movement from the body is really helpful for your nervous system too.
38:43
Shay: But I love the idea, like I kind of get the wiggles out before my sales calls.
38:48
Shay: Like I love, I really do that.
38:50
Shay: It's a lot like what TRE is, you know, that trauma release exercise um that we've mentioned before.
38:55
Shay: It's the body stores stress and trauma in mammals, the way we release that.
39:01
Shay: If you look at the gazelle that's run across the Sahara after they got chased by a cheetah, they stand there and they shake.
39:07
Shay: And that's how they release and process.
39:09
Shay: And so I do think that's a powerful skill.
39:12
Shay: I'm glad you were teaching it to little babies.
39:14
Shay: And how much do we as adults try to like hold the shake back and like shut ourselves down when we start to shake and move?
39:21
Shay: And the thing that you mentioned there was getting out of your comfort zone.
39:24
Shay: I think if that's a good place to start, if like what makes me happy, what feels like fun is feeling a little gray, what feels like a push?
39:32
Shay: Because a lot of times when you get yourself out of your comfort zone and you do something that feels like a stretch, that's what gets me into gilly silliness and giggles because I'm letting myself fail.
39:42
Shay: I'm thinking of like I took a dance class recently.
39:45
Shay: I always love going to dance classes because I am not coordinated.
39:49
Shay: I love dancing, but like I am not an excellent dancer.
39:52
Shay: And there's something about failing and like messing it up and not doing it right, and then just laughing at myself and trying again, like that that process over and over, that's the silliness, that's the light.
40:04
Shay: That there's something about pushing yourself out of your comfort zone.
40:07
Shay: And then that brings a novelty to go do the photo shoot, go on the road trip, whatever it is.
40:13
Shay: But when you can do something out of the, out of your normal, um, out of your what feels safe, I think that is like a really quick ticket to get into a lighter place of like, hey, let's just laugh at ourselves and laugh at this situation.
40:26
Mariah: Yeah, yeah, I agree.
40:27
Mariah: And it's something that you can do like in any moment.
40:29
Mariah: You can do it while you're driving by yourself.
40:31
Mariah: Sometimes I will do that.
40:32
Mariah: I'm literally just like like a little weirdo in my car because who cares?
40:38
Mariah: So, like, even the little micro moments are achievable.
40:41
Mariah: And it's funny because like this whole topic kind of came up because there was somebody on threads that posted, um, hey, I'm trying to like romanticize my life a little bit more.
40:51
Mariah: Can you guys give me examples of like how you do it?
40:54
Mariah: And the one that came to me at that moment was I try to be very intentional, like Shay, like with slow mornings.
41:01
Mariah: And so I really try to romanticize my coffee in the morning.
41:04
Mariah: And so I gave a couple examples in the threads, and another one was essentially like me and Andrew, especially when it's getting darker earlier.
41:12
Mariah: We have like taper candles, non-scented whatever, and we will light a taper candle as we're like watching TV or after the sun goes down and like just that red light.
41:22
Mariah: Both of us, it just feels so nourishing to have a candle without sense and just like that red flame.
41:31
Mariah: Like it just feels so nourishing.
41:33
Mariah: And like to me and Andrew together, like that's romanticizing our evening together, regardless of what we're doing.
41:39
Mariah: We're always trying to like light the candle, light the candle.
41:41
Mariah: Somebody light the fucking candle.
41:42
Mariah: But in the morning, my thing is like my coffee is a ritual.
41:47
Mariah: I enjoy like grinding the fresh beans, making a cup, smelling it, hearing it percolate, like that type of thing.
41:54
Mariah: And I will pour myself a cup of coffee and I try to like walk over to the couch, my favorite spot in the living room, and just like take a second to breathe.
42:05
Mariah: And I'm like holding this warm cup, like one of my favorite cups.
42:08
Mariah: And I'm just like taking a breath before I take my first sip of coffee.
42:14
Mariah: I really try to romanticize like this first sip.
42:17
Mariah: And so I explained that in way less words on threads.
42:21
Mariah: And I was like, literally, just it's essentially like the slowing down, the can you romanticize and find the magic in the mundane of like your coffee and like taking a breath and really like feeling the mug?
42:31
Mariah: And it's interesting because she responded, Oh, um she said something like that was really helpful, yada, yada, yada.
42:40
Mariah: And she was like, I don't, I use one of those yeti cups.
42:44
Mariah: Like, I don't really have a cute mug.
42:45
Mariah: I think I have to go and get a cute mug.
42:48
Mariah: And I was like, girl, that's what you got from that.
42:51
Mariah: I go, I don't care if you are drinking your coffee out of a dirty shoe.
42:57
Mariah: It is not the vessel, it is the feeling.
43:01
Mariah: That's what we all skip over, and we'll see it on social media.
43:04
Mariah: She's romanticizing her her organic beeswax taper candles.
43:09
Mariah: No, these candles are from a fucking thrift store, they're hideous, but it's not about the candle.
43:16
Mariah: Like, we're literally lighting the candle because it's a ritual and it's like an invitation for us to slow down and be like, wow, I actually really enjoy having the flame of a candle after it gets dark.
43:29
Mariah: That's what it's about.
43:30
Mariah: It's about the feeling.
43:32
Mariah: And so I think that like when we're thinking about romanticizing or having fun or like even getting the wiggles out, or like the rebounder trampoline, we can be like, oh, it looks like I gotta get a rebounder trampoline.
43:40
Mariah: Oh, it looks like I gotta call in six so I could take a road trip to the park uh two states away.
43:46
Mariah: And it's like, no, it's about the feeling.
43:49
Mariah: That's how we romanticize our days.
43:53
Shay: Yeah, I think that is what a lot of people miss is like notice yourself.
43:58
Shay: Where are you feeling?
43:59
Shay: Jealous of others, where maybe maybe you found someone new in your life, you're obsessed with them.
44:04
Shay: There's some kind of feeling that you are craving.
44:07
Shay: What is that feeling?
44:08
Shay: Like you can even start in your negative spirit, quote unquote bad spaces.
44:12
Shay: What is the feeling that you are craving?
44:14
Shay: And then how can you give yourself that feeling?
44:16
Shay: So I love the idea of like the campfire at night, romanticizing your evenings.
44:20
Shay: Like it is really about like it's not the consumption, it's not the consumerism.
44:26
Shay: We don't need to buy, it's never gonna come from the outside, right?
44:29
Shay: It's never gonna come from the outside, it's gonna come from the inside.
44:32
Shay: So, like, how do you want to feel?
44:34
Shay: For me, the mornings thing, I hated feeling so busy and stressed in the mornings, and that set me up for a busy and stressed day.
44:40
Shay: So it's like, okay, what do I want to feel?
44:42
Shay: I want to feel slow.
44:44
Shay: I don't, I want to wake up when I wake up.
44:45
Shay: I don't want to have an alarm, right?
44:47
Shay: So it is literally getting in touch.
44:50
Shay: It sounds so basic, and we say this every single time, but like the magic is in the simplicity.
44:54
Shay: Get still, pay attention to yourself.
44:58
Shay: How do you want to feel?
44:59
Shay: And then what are some little micro moments in your life that you can have that feeling?
45:04
Shay: If you want to feel more free, go on the road trip.
45:06
Shay: If you want to feel more connected with your partner or calm at night, light the candle, right?
45:10
Shay: It can be any variety of things, you know.
45:13
Shay: It can be wild and silly and crazy.
45:16
Shay: It can be as simple as taking a deep breath with your hand over your heart, right?
45:20
Shay: And reconnecting your mind to your body.
45:22
Shay: But like just having some moments of stillness and connecting, how do I want to feel right now?
45:26
Shay: Am I feeling that way?
45:28
Shay: What needs to change for me to feel that way?
45:30
Shay: Um, you also brought up something about you didn't say disciplined, but I think there's this underlying message here.
45:40
Shay: You cannot have freedom and silliness without the support of systems and discipline.
45:44
Shay: So I think like Mariah and I are coming and talking to you from a place of like we've spent a lot of time, like, not that we're perfect and I'm mess up this morning.
45:51
Shay: I got on my phone right away, right?
45:53
Shay: But like we are trying to be disciplined and set up the systems and routines that we know allow us to function at our highest level.
46:00
Shay: And then when you have those systems in place, that becomes the wings that let you fly, right?
46:05
Shay: That becomes the space that allows you to have freedom.
46:07
Shay: So I will say, like, all of this kind of starts with like a base level of are you taking care of yourself?
46:12
Shay: Are you eating?
46:13
Shay: Are you are you eating well?
46:14
Shay: Are you sleeping?
46:15
Shay: Are you doing the basics, right?
46:16
Shay: But then once we get those covered, we can kind of have higher level thinking that allows us to have conversations like this and get out of that fight or flight.
46:24
Shay: Really, we're just trying to get out of fight or flight, guys.
46:26
Shay: We're trying to regulate those emotions.
46:27
Shay: We're trying not to live a whole life caught in this kind of like nervous state where we can't feel anything and we're kind of connected.
46:36
Shay: I just think like in life, there's good and bad things, you know, and I feel like we're really it's normal for us to like really take on the bad things.
46:46
Shay: And it's almost like a badge of honor to be stressed and to be working so hard.
46:50
Shay: But then we also have these really good things.
46:52
Shay: Like this is a little inappropriate, but like sex is a really good example.
46:56
Shay: I have so many friends in committed relationships that are not having sex regularly.
47:01
Shay: And I'm just like, you guys, sex is like the one thing we have in this world that like is fun, is healthy, is like awesome, right?
47:11
Shay: Like I want everyone like we should be doing this more.
47:14
Shay: Like there's and it's it's the silliness and it's the play.
47:17
Shay: And those things, like, I don't know why we are so less likely to embrace the lovely things about life, the fun things.
47:25
Shay: There's like this, I've seen this thing going around like in Norway.
47:28
Shay: If you go to a doctor and tell them you're depressed, they'll say, When was the last time you danced?
47:32
Shay: When was the last time you sang?
47:33
Shay: When was the last time you got out of nature?
47:35
Shay: When was the last time you laughed with friends?
47:38
Shay: Right.
47:38
Shay: There's all of these just very basic tools and medicines that we have that can bring joy.
47:44
Shay: But I think we have to be aware that, like, for whatever reason, mother culture in our brains and our survival brains probably want us to stay more in the heavy, in the serious.
47:55
Shay: And it takes a conscious effort to grab the light, grab the fun wherever you can.
48:02
Mariah: Because businesses make more money when you are serious.
48:08
Mariah: Businesses make more money when you are looking outside of yourself for validation for external support.
48:15
Mariah: Businesses, Amazon wouldn't make very much money if I was just over here taking old decaying leaves and like turning them into the craft projects.
48:26
Mariah: So it's like, well, that's why.
48:30
Mariah: And so that's why marketing we're seeing the next best supplement and the next best isn't.
48:35
Mariah: Girl, I can get down the rabbit hole.
48:38
Mariah: I'm embarrassed to tell you how many fucking supplements I have.
48:42
Mariah: I told a holistic practitioner how many supplements I had, and she was like, Oh, girl.
48:46
Mariah: And she was like, Can you bring them in?
48:48
Mariah: I was like, Do you have a suitcase?
48:50
Mariah: Like, I don't know if they will fit in my car.
48:53
Mariah: Like, I have been there.
48:55
Mariah: I still can get there when I'm looping about things and trying to figure it out.
49:01
Mariah: But like, as humans, we have this magic within us, and it is so easy for us to outsource it.
49:10
Mariah: And I think the romanticizing is just can we just come back to the magic that's within us?
49:15
Mariah: We have this, we can tap into this.
49:20
Mariah: Like, get the wiggles out, even if like my mom has neuropathy, okay?
49:27
Mariah: And so, like, she can't really feel her toes very well.
49:29
Mariah: Okay, Kathy, then don't wiggle your fucking toes, wiggle your hands, wiggle your head, or just like feel like you're wiggling.
49:36
Mariah: Like, there is always something that we can do, even if it's just like in our mind's eye and envisioning a silly moment, there is always something that we can do that is free and that doesn't take a lot of time.
49:53
Mariah: And it's like the same thing as like another inappropriate example, but like using the bathroom.
50:00
Mariah: Have you ever got done using the bathroom and you were just like what a gift, what a gift?
50:07
Mariah: Or it's like you end up holding your bladder and then like you finally get to pee and you're just like wow, I feel incredible.
50:17
Mariah: Can you just savor that just for one more second?
50:23
Mariah: That's what romanticizing is.
50:25
Mariah: It's not buying a whole bunch of stuff and well, now I have to get into DIY clay pots.
50:31
Mariah: Like, no, you don't have to do that.
50:33
Mariah: You can literally take like fucking paper towels and like cut out weird characters and take a pen that you have and draw faces on them.
50:41
Mariah: Like it really does not have to be like what we think that it means.
50:46
Shay: Yeah, and it's about connecting with gratitude for the ways you already have those feelings.
50:51
Shay: Like, I think that if you want to feel some type of way, find where you already have that and try to be so fucking grateful for it.
50:58
Shay: Like what you're saying, like I have a bladder that works, I have digestion that works.
51:01
Shay: Like the whole underlying theme of this is big bathing and gratitude.
51:06
Shay: How can you be so grateful for these little magical pieces of life that just give us juice and allow us to keep going and really embrace those things and give yourself permission to enjoy and to feel that?
51:21
Shay: And there's just this power in that.
51:23
Shay: And when you start to get a little sip of it, then you're gonna want to crave more, and then you'll do those actions that lead to more.
51:28
Shay: Um, but you guys know me, like I love having a poem.
51:32
Shay: And as we've been talking about magic this whole episode, it's reminded me of um, did you like Shell Silverstein as a kid, Mariah?
51:38
Shay: Do you know what it is?
51:39
Shay: Yes.
51:40
Shay: So he has this poem called Magic, and I'm gonna read it to you guys because I think it's like so perfect to what we've been trying to say.
51:45
Shay: Sandra's seen a leprechaun, Eddie touched a troll, Lori danced with witches once, Charlie found some goblins gold, Donald heard a mermaid sing, Susie spied an elf, but all the magic I have ever known, I've had to make myself.
52:02
Shay: And I was like, Oh, I love this so much.
52:06
Shay: It just gave me good so I was reading it.
52:07
Shay: Cause like, go out and grab it.
52:09
Shay: Like, to me, that is the encouraging thing I want to leave you with is like all of this magic is here.
52:14
Shay: And I have been a person that didn't feel it for a very long time.
52:17
Shay: And and I know that it's what Mariah is saying.
52:20
Shay: It's you don't need to keep consuming, whether that's on going to Amazon and buying a mug or um consuming content on your social media, it's not gonna come out from outside.
52:31
Shay: You have to go get it.
52:32
Shay: You have to grab it, you have to block off the time on your schedule.
52:35
Shay: It's gonna feel weird, it's gonna feel awkward, it's gonna put you out of your comfort zone.
52:38
Shay: You gotta go do all those things.
52:40
Shay: But I promise you, on the other side, like that is the magic.
52:43
Shay: And we are giving you permission to like go after it, grab it, soak it up, man.
52:48
Shay: Because like the more of us that are doing that, we're gonna have a brighter fire and we're gonna encourage more people to go grab it for themselves.
52:55
Mariah: Yeah, I was gonna say, and share it.
52:57
Mariah: Literally, like, I am so grateful for Andrew because like he reminds me, you know, I'm I'm working, I'm doing shit.
53:04
Mariah: I love what I do, but sometimes it can suck me out of the magic and the mundane.
53:09
Mariah: It I do think that naturally I'm I'm an optimist, and so I can like fall into it pretty easily.
53:15
Mariah: But he's he's pretty good at like if I'm low, he can be pretty high.
53:18
Mariah: And so it's like literally after he pees, sometimes he's like, Oh, what a relief.
53:25
Mariah: And like it just, I'm just like, yeah, it is a relief.
53:29
Shay: And like you, I forgot about how much of a relief it is.
53:33
Mariah: Yes, and it literally is just like, can you share it?
53:36
Mariah: We'll go for a walk in the morning and I go, he'll be saying something, probably some dumb shit about some dumb video game.
53:43
Mariah: But I just like I'll be like, look at that tree.
53:46
Mariah: It literally like the leaves are the perfect shade of red.
53:50
Mariah: And that makes him stop and he goes, They really are the perfect shade of red.
53:56
Mariah: Or it's like, I'll be walking and I'm like, my feet feel really good today.
54:01
Mariah: Even if my shoulders don't feel good, I can find one thing that feels good.
54:06
Mariah: Or it's like when I'm hanging with my nieces who are teenagers, and oh my god, all they do is fucking bitch.
54:12
Mariah: I can literally just be like, what was the best part of your day?
54:16
Mariah: And sometimes they'll be like nothing, and I go, not one thing, not one thing we can find.
54:21
Mariah: I go, you didn't like, you know, how the leaf looked on the tree.
54:26
Mariah: I go, you didn't notice one thing.
54:27
Mariah: And sometimes they'll fucking play hard to get to it.
54:30
Mariah: They'll literally be like, no.
54:31
Mariah: And I was like, well, look around and tell me one thing that feels really good or that could feel really good.
54:38
Mariah: And it's just sharing it, or I'll start.
54:42
Mariah: I'll literally be like, listen, I love that feeling of waking up in the morning and you just feel so cozy and so warm before you lift your head off of the pillow.
54:55
Mariah: And my niece will be like, Yeah, I really actually like the blanket that I sleep with.
54:59
Mariah: I go and what a gift that you have the fucking perfect blanket and just share it with people because, like, that's how we help each other, like you're saying, like that's it's how we help each other find the magic and the mundane and romanticize our day.
55:15
Mariah: So, like, if you're seeing the TikToks and the Instagrams and all the random shit about romanticizing, and everybody's out here making fucking sourdough bread and homemade beeswax candles, and they're all stomping on their own grapes to make their own fucking wine.
55:29
Mariah: It's like, no, it ain't gotta be like that.
55:31
Mariah: Can you literally just be grateful that like you emptied your bladder?
55:35
Mariah: Yeah.
55:36
Shay: Start there.
55:37
Shay: I think there's something really powerful there.
55:39
Shay: I love this episode.
55:41
Shay: I really hope that you guys enjoyed it too.
55:43
Shay: It's got me fired up to keep claiming this space for myself.
55:47
Shay: But what Raya's point is, keep sharing that because a lot of us are kind of dull and feeling like our fires aren't stoked.
55:54
Shay: And so this is kind of how we can help bond and love each other.
55:57
Shay: And then we feed our own at the same time.
55:59
Shay: So I love that.
55:59
Shay: Um, thanks for adding us there.
56:01
Shay: And I think with that, we're ready to uh close this episode down.
56:04
Shay: Remember, friends, you have the power to create whatever the hell you want.
56:09
Shay: Follow the nudge, ask questions, and let curiosity guide the way.
56:13
Shay: We'll see you in the next episode.