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Transcript

UNDERSTANDING YOUR PARTNERS GAMING ADDICTION?? W/JOEL CREASEY · Relatables

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Because we are joined by Joel Creasy.
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: So you would say practice saying no to things.
• 0:03
  Speaker 3: A pair of no's massive though, too. In any sort
• 0:06
  Speaker 3: of fashion.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 0:07
  Speaker 4: I'm told I'm still sober. I'm such a people pleaser.
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: He wakes up earlier than me to go and play
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: video games. We come back from the gym and he
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: starts playing video games. We finish eating dinner and he
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: starts playing video games. I have discussed with him multiple
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: times now that moving to a new city has been
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: a sacrifice and has been very lonely at times. Him
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: choosing to play video games rather than spending time with
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: me is very hurtful. And to be honest, makes me
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: feel even lonelier. The Relatables podcast is hosted by myself,
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: Jake Craig, a.k.a. Daddy. And my partner in crime, Mr.
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: Odie Clark, a.k.a. Mummy. And you guys are the baddies. Big, big... Announcement,
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: I guess, or a very special episode because we have
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: a baddie in the studio. Yeah.
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: Do you like to be called a baddie? Because we
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: are joined by Joel Creasy.
• 1:02
  Speaker 4: Oh my gosh. Guilty as charged. When's my witch trial?
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: An honorary baddie, some would say. Yeah. But thank you
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: very much for joining us, Joel. Pleasure. We went through
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: the very, very vigorous effort of supplying you with a
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: box of Krispy Kremes because we love you so much.
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much.
• 1:23
  Speaker 4: So they smell so good. And they there's a Krispy
• 1:27
  Speaker 4: Kreme is appropriate. Like every occasion they are.
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: So God, a hundred percent podcast included.
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: Couldn't think of a better occasion. We actually just sat
• 1:34
  Speaker 3: down and did an episode on Joel's show, Joel Creasy
• 1:38
  Speaker 3: show and had a great time. So we've already got
• 1:41
  Speaker 3: some great report.
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: Joel, your shows out every single day, uh, 12 PM
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: to 1 PM.
• 1:46
  Speaker 4: Correct. I do the big exhausting one-hour lunchtime slot.
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: The big exhausting one-hour lunchtime slot.
• 1:51
  Speaker 4: Oh, no, sorry. My producer just– I didn't even get
• 1:54
  Speaker 4: it right.
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: One hour a day.
• 1:56
  Speaker 4: Sorry, 1 p.m. to 2 p.m.
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: Too busy enjoying the Krispy Kreme.
• 2:01
  Speaker 4: I know.
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: I've got the warm iced one. If you guys would
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: love to be the best baddies ever and go over
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: and listen to Joel's show, and you can find that–
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: it gets posted on Spotify and the Nova Player app
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: and all those sorts of things. But then where do
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: they listen to it on the actual radio if they
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: want to listen to it?
• 2:19
  Speaker 4: Or whatever your local Nova station is. So I was
• 2:24
  Speaker 4: going to try and rattle off the station codes. Okay,
• 2:28
  Speaker 4: so Perth is 937. Melbourne is 100. Am I going well? Yes.
• 2:33
  Speaker 4: Brisbane is 106.
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: I actually know this one.
• 2:36
  Speaker 4: Shit, did I get that right? Oh, my God. I
• 2:39
  Speaker 4: don't know the others.
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: Well, what's Sydney? Oh, no.
• 2:41
  Speaker 4: Adelaide's 99. Adelaide's 99. Nine, nine, what? Nine, one, nine.
• 2:45
  Speaker 4: And Sydney is nine, six, nine.
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 2:50
  Speaker 4: Oh my God.
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: Oh, wow. Well, um, so yeah, that's where you can
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: find Joel show. If you want to listen to a
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: live and of course you can get it backed up.
• 2:58
  Speaker 4: On, on spot. Your cool listeners are probably like, what
• 3:01
  Speaker 4: are these numbers? What is it?
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: What is the radio? Yeah.
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: We actually, we used to do this fun game where
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: we wanted to stop saying, if one of us brought
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: a cool fact into the show, Or if we were
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: talking about something and we remembered something, but that we
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: saw on TikTok or Instagram, instead of saying, oh, I
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: saw this video and everyone goes, obviously they were just
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: like doom scrolling on TikTok. We would say, oh, I
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: heard on the radio because it sounds a lot more
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: serious and proper. And we feel, and it's like a
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: valid source or for lack of a better word.
• 3:32
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: About a valid source of information. Yeah.
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: Would you say your show is a valid source of information?
• 3:37
  Speaker 4: Isn't that terrifying? I have been fast and loose with
• 3:42
  Speaker 4: facts before. I just like to think of it as
• 3:44
  Speaker 4: adding a bit of mayo and, you know, a little
• 3:46
  Speaker 4: bit of spice to the story. But, I mean, my
• 3:50
  Speaker 4: show's so not important, but I remember when I was
• 3:53
  Speaker 4: doing Drive and then there was, I was on air
• 3:56
  Speaker 4: and like a lockdown hit and I had to announce
• 3:58
  Speaker 4: it as like, it was like an official thing. Someone
• 4:00
  Speaker 4: on air had to do it. And it was in
• 4:02
  Speaker 4: my state and I was such a sweaty hot mess
• 4:04
  Speaker 4: while doing that. Really?
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: Also, when lockdowns were happening and I would see it
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: either on TV, like my mum would put the news
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: on each morning, or if I say I heard it
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: on a radio about a lockdown, it's a very irrational
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: feeling to have. But for some reason, the person that
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: was announcing it, I was like, fuck you, like, I
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: hate you. Oh, 100%. The person that's announcing it.
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: Or did you get any hate? Like, Joel, what are
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: you doing?
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: Like, Joel, shut up.
• 4:31
  Speaker 4: No, but I kind of felt like I was responsible
• 4:34
  Speaker 4: for it. And I hadn't been a super spreader or
• 4:37
  Speaker 4: anything at that time, I don't think. But I, you know,
• 4:40
  Speaker 4: you're kind of like, sorry, I think I prefaced it
• 4:42
  Speaker 4: with this. hey, sorry, guys, just got to announce a
• 4:45
  Speaker 4: little snap two-week lockdown, which also in Victoria, they would never,
• 4:47
  Speaker 4: you know, snap two-week lockdown. That would be like, you know,
• 4:51
  Speaker 4: five months. And I was like, yeah, sorry. Anyway, here's
• 4:55
  Speaker 4: the latest one from Ariana Grande, which wasn't even my job.
• 4:58
  Speaker 4: I wasn't even the anchor. So I don't know why
• 5:00
  Speaker 4: I'm throwing to the song.
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: So we were in both the New South Wales at
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: the time, Sydney, like relatively close to Sydney's central coast.
• 5:07
  Speaker 4: Gladys Town.
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: So we actually, yeah, it was at the time. We,
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: I remember complaining about our lockdown, but Victoria, they had
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: it way worse. Did they not?
• 5:18
  Speaker 4: Oh, we did. Yeah. We were the, um, we proudly
• 5:21
  Speaker 4: were the longest lockdown place in the world. And I
• 5:24
  Speaker 4: always say that when somewhere like Chile or a country
• 5:27
  Speaker 4: like that overtook us as the most lockdown place in
• 5:29
  Speaker 4: the world and Victoria was like, hmm. put us back
• 5:32
  Speaker 4: in and we won and we have that for life.
• 5:34
  Speaker 4: And what is the stereotype out Malvernians and Victorians? We
• 5:37
  Speaker 4: love to whinge. Well, there's something else for us to
• 5:39
  Speaker 4: whinge about. We've got that forever now.
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: Do you also love to win?
• 5:44
  Speaker 4: Well, we did and we won, didn't we?
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: We won.
• 5:46
  Speaker 4: We completed lockdown. We did all 4,382 days of lockdown.
• 5:51
  Speaker 4: My family were in Perth. So they were like, what's COVID?
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah. We actually, we dodged it. We dodged a lot
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: of lockdown very luckily because as we were telling you
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: on your show, we went on a camping trip for
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: three months up the East coast and we left when,
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: so we left and lockdown hadn't happened yet, but there
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: was obviously we were like, it's going to come. And
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: so we left.
• 6:10
  Speaker 4: What's the reason for this camping trip?
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: No, we just had this plan. And then we just
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: got very lucky. We leave, we drive like four hours.
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: We leave four hours North, stay there for a week.
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: No lockdown leave two days after we leave, it gets
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: locked down the place we're at. And every single time
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: we moved the place we were just at would get
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: locked down. And we were like, what is going on? So,
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: I'm a little sus that we were the super spreaders
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: just coming from here.
• 6:33
  Speaker 4: Oh, wow.
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: And then they'd get locked down.
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: We got to Airlie Beach. See ya. The back end
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: of our trip was about three months. We were partying
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: at that time. We were kind of like drinkers then.
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: And then we'd get Snapchats from our friends locked inside,
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: drinking beer, like playing video games.
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: We were out in the air. We were cladding.
• 6:49
  Speaker 4: Oh, you bastards. It was so depressing. I'm so glad
• 6:52
  Speaker 4: I didn't know you then. I mean, as if while
• 6:55
  Speaker 4: you were camping, I don't know if we'd have a
• 6:56
  Speaker 4: whole heap to talk about. So, okay. So you didn't
• 7:00
  Speaker 4: go because of COVID. So you actually, because we were
• 7:02
  Speaker 4: speaking about this on my show, you actually went camping
• 7:05
  Speaker 4: for the love of camping?
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: I think I find it very grounding and kind of
• 7:11
  Speaker 3: like sets you back. Into like what life's really about.
• 7:14
  Speaker 3: Cause in everyday life, there's so many issues and so
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: many problems and you get trapped in your own head
• 7:18
  Speaker 3: and sometimes just going outside the norm outside your major
• 7:21
  Speaker 3: city and just seeing how relaxing and simple life can be.
• 7:24
  Speaker 3: It's like, oh, wait a second. I do feel okay.
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: I do feel good.
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I've completely changed my mind about it.
• 7:31
  Speaker 4: Okay. Well, I haven't, but I must admit I was
• 7:35
  Speaker 4: part of my TikTok algorithm. over the weekend as well, um, was, um,
• 7:40
  Speaker 4: I got really into watching like mini docos about the
• 7:42
  Speaker 4: Appalachian mountains in, um, the United States. They sound terrifying.
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 7:48
  Speaker 4: The, the sheep, the sheep, the big, Skinwalkers.
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: In there or something like that.
• 7:53
  Speaker 4: Skinwalkers?
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: Oh my God. You'll just hear noises. And everyone makes
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: a video on TikTok saying like, if you hear the
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: birds stop chirping, you know, you know, you've got to
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: leave or something.
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: Sounds like something out of The Last of Us.
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: It's so, and then people just live there. That's crazy.
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: That's scary. People just live in these mountains and apparently
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: just go missing.
• 8:07
  Speaker 4: I kind of want to go.
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: You know what's actually, if it was during the day,
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: I probably would go. I would never go at night.
• 8:12
  Speaker 4: I would go with a camera crew. I would do
• 8:15
  Speaker 4: anything with a camera crew. I think I should preface that.
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: Something I think would be really fun to do is
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: to go do, you know, the shows where they try
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: and prove that there's something's haunted.
• 8:24
  Speaker 4: Love those shows. Most haunted. I used to love that show.
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: I would really love to go in with the crew
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: to go do that because like they, they never can
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: like properly prove anything, but I've always kind of thought
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: as well, if you're in a haunted place with that
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: many people, I would just feel this sense of safeness
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: and I would really, really, really walk on the edge
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: of assault.
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: You haven't been there though. I don't think it would
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: feel like that.
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 8:49
  Speaker 4: Well, also there's the, you know, the spirits outnumbered really
• 8:51
  Speaker 4: with a big group. But those shows were so funny.
• 8:54
  Speaker 4: Like the people that hosted them would be like, um, spirit,
• 8:56
  Speaker 4: if you're there, um, can you, um, bang the table
• 8:59
  Speaker 4: 42 times? Like that's asking a lot of the spirit.
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: I would probably, if I was a spirit, I'd probably
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: bang it like twice and be like, that's what you get.
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: Who would you haunt, Joel, if you could, if you
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: came back as a ghost? Who would you haunt?
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: Oh my God.
• 9:14
  Speaker 4: Well, I would be a poltergeist. Like I'd really commit
• 9:17
  Speaker 4: to the bit. Or who would I haunt? It would
• 9:21
  Speaker 4: be someone that like, I want to say like an ex,
• 9:23
  Speaker 4: but that's too obvious. It would be someone that slightly
• 9:26
  Speaker 4: wronged me once, like cut me off in a car park.
• 9:30
  Speaker 4: And sort of like drove away a little bit smug. Yeah.
• 9:32
  Speaker 4: Just cause they like, so like it's such a disproportionate response.
• 9:36
  Speaker 4: All right. Now for the rest of your life, you
• 9:38
  Speaker 4: are hexed by me.
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: I reckon I would probably haunt cyclists that are on
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: the road. Are you a cyclist?
• 9:45
  Speaker 4: That is a good call. No, no. I mean, I'm
• 9:47
  Speaker 4: a spin class girly, but no, I'm not a cyclist
• 9:50
  Speaker 4: at all. And I think that is a great call
• 9:52
  Speaker 4: when they come clip, clip, clip in with their stupid
• 9:53
  Speaker 4: shoes through the cafe, take them off.
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: Also, what are you doing? I just can't wrap my
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: head around the whole being on the road thing. Anyway,
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: I like that you're a spin early because like the,
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: the answer to not riding your bike on the dangerous
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: road is a spin class.
• 10:07
  Speaker 4: Get into the spin class and, you know, just whip
• 10:09
  Speaker 4: your hair around here and listen to a bit of
• 10:12
  Speaker 4: Ariana and just chill out. And people, they commit to
• 10:15
  Speaker 4: the bit, don't they, on the roads with the Lycra
• 10:19
  Speaker 4: and they're so, like I know someone that just travelled
• 10:22
  Speaker 4: through Europe with his bike.
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: Oh, that's crazy. Yeah.
• 10:26
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: That's a whole different life.
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: But, Joel, we talk a lot about advice on our podcast,
• 10:33
  Speaker 3: a lot about dating and relationships, and we wanted to
• 10:35
  Speaker 3: pose the question to you. If you could look back
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: on your life and tell your younger or 20-year-old self
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: any piece of advice, what do you think.
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: It would be?
• 10:44
  Speaker 4: Oh, my gosh. It would be get the hair transplant earlier.
• 10:50
  Speaker 4: It's worth the money.
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: May I ask how much it costs? Okay.
• 10:56
  Speaker 4: So if you want to go to my guy in Melbourne,
• 10:58
  Speaker 4: who's very, very good, Exhibit A, you're talking $ 20, 000. But
• 11:03
  Speaker 4: if you're going to Turkey... I think it's like 8K
• 11:05
  Speaker 4: with flights inclusive, but I don't know why you would
• 11:07
  Speaker 4: want to get on a plane after having quite an
• 11:10
  Speaker 4: invasive procedure. And also, it's on your head. It's the
• 11:13
  Speaker 4: first thing people see. I would spend $ 200, 000 if I
• 11:17
  Speaker 4: needed to. People see it all day, every day.
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: Do you reckon your decision was kind of forced because
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: people know your face? You can't go incognito?
• 11:25
  Speaker 4: Well, I was like, I can't keep a secret to
• 11:28
  Speaker 4: save my life. So I... it's too good a material
• 11:31
  Speaker 4: to not talk about, but, um, but yeah, I knew
• 11:35
  Speaker 4: people would know it was kind of fairly obvious. I
• 11:36
  Speaker 4: was wearing a hat for a while, just more because
• 11:39
  Speaker 4: it didn't look nice, but I got really creative with
• 11:41
  Speaker 4: the hats. Like I was wearing a Kubras and like
• 11:43
  Speaker 4: Mickey Mouse hats, like the craziest shit on air.
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: The thing with me is if I, if I get
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: a transplant or when I get a transplant, I'm going
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: to be going like, it's not even just cause I
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: want more hair. So I, I, I got a hat
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: on and headphones. I'd show my hairline. I've shown it
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: once or twice before on the show anyway. But I
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: have like a widow's peak. Like it's going back in
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: that sort of widow's peak way.
• 12:06
  Speaker 4: Yes, that's what I had.
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: And I want nothing more than to have just a
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: shaved head but with a good hairline like Brad Pitt.
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: Not that I look like him, but I just want
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: nothing more than no hair. But I want to have
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: good hairline.
• 12:16
  Speaker 4: I know what you mean.
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 100%.
• 12:19
  Speaker 4: And I don't think people should feel bad for wanting that,
• 12:22
  Speaker 4: especially when it's, you know, like hair is such a
• 12:24
  Speaker 4: thing and it's such a– you know, way to sense
• 12:28
  Speaker 4: of self-expression and it's so much fun and you can
• 12:31
  Speaker 4: have so much fun with it. But when you're, you know,
• 12:33
  Speaker 4: struggling with it, it becomes really tricky. And like, yeah,
• 12:38
  Speaker 4: I'm so stoked that I had it done.
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah.
• 12:43
  Speaker 4: What about it done again? But that would be the advice.
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: But you know, what's really funny is one time we
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: called my dad on the podcast and he's 50 something. Right.
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: And yeah. And Audie said like, Oh, Hey Brett, we
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: just wanted to ask if there's any, anything, like if
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: you could talk to your 20 year old self, what
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: would you say? And my dad said, oh, I'd probably
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: tell him to get a hair transplant. And my dad
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: never got one and he's too far gone. There isn't
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: even hairs to like go steal from anywhere else to
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: put in the bald spots like he's done.
• 13:09
  Speaker 4: They do need something to harvest in their terms.
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: Harvest is the craziest word for that.
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: I know. Harvest.
• 13:15
  Speaker 4: And also transplant. It's all so hectic when, in reality,
• 13:18
  Speaker 4: all they give you is a Valium and a Panadol. Like,
• 13:20
  Speaker 4: you're not even, like, knocked out. So, I slept because
• 13:24
  Speaker 4: I was just tired. But, yeah, I got home and
• 13:28
  Speaker 4: took one Panadol performatively.
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: Performatively.
• 13:32
  Speaker 4: I didn't need one.
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: Took it as like you just had to.
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: What about advice in the dating world?
• 13:39
  Speaker 3: Because you're engaged, married?
• 13:43
  Speaker 4: I'm engaged. It's been a long engagement though.
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: How long?
• 13:47
  Speaker 4: We've been engaged for just over two years. And it's
• 13:53
  Speaker 4: not anytime soon. Because I quite like the term fiancé, right?
• 13:57
  Speaker 4: And also we're renovating. So that is.
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: My fiance is renovating. That's kind of hot. I feel
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: like the two words.
• 14:02
  Speaker 4: My fiance and I are renovating.
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah. That is. That's cool. That is cool.
• 14:07
  Speaker 4: I mean, we aren't renovating. We're sending the emails. There's
• 14:09
  Speaker 4: like experience, like proper professionals doing it. But, um, but
• 14:14
  Speaker 4: my advice to, uh, my younger self would be, cause
• 14:18
  Speaker 4: I've been with Jack for almost 10 years. Um, would
• 14:21
  Speaker 4: be don't go looking for funny. That is such a
• 14:26
  Speaker 4: diss to Jack. I mean, okay.
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: Is Jack funny? No. I was going to say, you've
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: surely got enough funny for the whole relationship. Yeah.
• 14:34
  Speaker 4: Look, he's wonderful, but he's not funny. And I used
• 14:38
  Speaker 4: to think that's what I wanted. And now I realize, no, like,
• 14:41
  Speaker 4: you know, there's other skills people can have. And he
• 14:44
  Speaker 4: makes me laugh twice a year. So that's, you know,
• 14:47
  Speaker 4: that's the best you can hope for.
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: Are you the classic, you laugh at him, not with him?
• 14:51
  Speaker 4: Yeah, absolutely. And I also say, like, if he gets
• 14:54
  Speaker 4: me to laugh like twice in a week, I'm like, oh, mate,
• 14:57
  Speaker 4: now I have to wait till 2027 for my next laugh.
• 14:58
  Speaker 4: Don't do that.
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: And how about career? Anything in career that you would
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: want to tell your 20-year-old self?
• 15:09
  Speaker 4: Oh, yeah. It would be don't get the N and
• 15:13
  Speaker 4: the O fixed on your keyboard because after you do
• 15:17
  Speaker 4: a reality show, don't say yes to every single gig.
• 15:23
  Speaker 4: Because when I did the very first season of I'm
• 15:26
  Speaker 4: a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here, and things were
• 15:28
  Speaker 4: going great, and then I went and hosted the after
• 15:31
  Speaker 4: show called I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here Now.
• 15:34
  Speaker 4: Creative title. How did I come up with this stuff?
• 15:37
  Speaker 4: And it was just a schmuzzle and a hot mess,
• 15:39
  Speaker 4: and I think Like all the work I put in
• 15:41
  Speaker 4: on the first season just all undid itself by the
• 15:44
  Speaker 4: second season.
• 15:46
  Speaker 3: So you would say practice saying no to things. Pair
• 15:48
  Speaker 3: of no is massive though too in any sort of fashion.
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 15:51
  Speaker 4: I'm told I'm still so bad. I'm such a people pleaser.
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: Really? Yeah. I would say we kind of are, but
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: I think when we have each other, like do you
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: have someone to bounce off? Because if we're talking about
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: Joel Creasy as like a media personality, it's just Joel Creasy, correct?
• 16:08
  Speaker 4: Yeah. I mean, there's like my management and stuff and
• 16:11
  Speaker 4: they're very good at saying no. And that's why I
• 16:13
  Speaker 4: have them because otherwise I would say yes to everything
• 16:16
  Speaker 4: and I would never get paid a cent because I'd
• 16:18
  Speaker 4: be like, oh, I'm shit. I'll do it for free.
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: And you still think that where you're at now?
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 16:23
  Speaker 4: It's the Australian way. It's just beaten into us.
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: It's actually, yeah, that's actually a good point. I don't know.
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: It's got a, I've always assumed it's like this all
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: over the world, but there is sort of a thing that,
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: people say in Australia about the tall poppy syndrome type
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: of thing.
• 16:41
  Speaker 4: Did you, and I used to live and work in
• 16:42
  Speaker 4: the U S and that, that ain't a thing over there.
• 16:46
  Speaker 4: So it's a real weird juxtaposition.
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: That is interesting. What age did you live and work in.
• 16:51
  Speaker 4: The U S? I was there from about 23. Oh no.
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: Earlier. Yeah.
• 16:57
  Speaker 4: No, about 23 to about 27. So kind of 10,
• 17:02
  Speaker 4: 10 ish years ago.
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: Fair. And what brought you over there?
• 17:08
  Speaker 4: I was opening for an American stand-up comic for a while,
• 17:15
  Speaker 4: and then I met, I also had my ex was
• 17:17
  Speaker 4: American as well. So he lived in LA, and that
• 17:20
  Speaker 4: was very convenient because I had somewhere to live when
• 17:22
  Speaker 4: I wasn't touring with her, and it all kind of
• 17:24
  Speaker 4: parlayed nicely into each other until she died and he
• 17:27
  Speaker 4: broke up with me.
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: Both in the same year?
• 17:32
  Speaker 4: Um, what happened first? She died. This is Joan Rivers.
• 17:36
  Speaker 4: I'm talking about.
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: Sorry to hear that. Yeah.
• 17:39
  Speaker 4: Well, very selfish of her because I had a great
• 17:41
  Speaker 4: career opening for her and, um, and it's fine. It's
• 17:44
  Speaker 4: Joan Rivers. She would love that joke. Um, and then
• 17:47
  Speaker 4: he broke up with me after. Yes, he did. Um,
• 17:50
  Speaker 4: so they weren't actually that far apart. Come to think
• 17:53
  Speaker 4: of it. Bastard. Dang.
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: That is a low blow. Yeah.
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: Almost a double whammy.
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 17:59
  Speaker 4: I don't know what was worse.
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: Um, well, We do a thing on our show called Dilemmas,
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: and listeners send in dilemmas. And we thought, who else
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: to help? But we always think, oh, it'd be nice
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: to have one more person here, whether it be someone
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: a little older, a little younger. We always want someone else.
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: And so we have a dilemma we'd like to read
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: to you. Wow, thank you.
• 18:26
  Speaker 4: And see if you can help us with it. Yeah,
• 18:28
  Speaker 4: of course I can. Hear if you need in the
• 18:29
  Speaker 4: words of Liz Ellis.
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: All right, so. This one is about who's in the wrong.
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: I am currently a stay at home wife with a
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: husband who travels often for a career. We actually just
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: relocated to New York city for his career, which means
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: I am in a big city where I don't know anyone.
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: My husband will be traveling for work three to four
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: days at a time. Our time together is limited. Here
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: is the dilemma. My husband is a big gamer. He
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: will come home from work. Um, uh, sorry from working
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: a four day shift and immediately just wants to play
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: video games. He wakes up earlier than me to go
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: and play video games. We come back from the gym
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: and he starts playing video games. We finish eating dinner
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: and he starts playing video games. I have discussed with
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: him multiple times now that moving to a new city
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: has been a sacrifice and has been very lonely at times.
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: Him choosing to play video games rather than spending time
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: with me is very hurtful. And to be honest, makes
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: me feel even lonelier. I understand that he works extremely hard.
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: And I feel as though I am pretty lenient with
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: him playing video games. I am already pretty independent, so
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: I don't mind him playing most of the time. It
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: really feels like a slap in the face when he
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: chooses to play in the evening rather than having to
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: be intimate slash close with each other. What is your
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: advice going forward? I have discussed this problem with him
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: multiple times and it seems to keep happening. now he
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: tends to ask me for permission before playing in my
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: opinion he knows something will make me upset sorry if
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: he knows something will make me upset i don't think
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: asking for permission makes a difference if you guys have
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: any advice it would be extremely appreciated love you both
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: and the pod I.
• 20:05
  Speaker 4: Mean, you guys have listeners that moved to New York?
• 20:08
  Speaker 4: You guys are fancy.
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: She may be American already, though.
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: She might not be Australian. Oh, of course. That's what
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: you took away from that?
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: That's what you were thinking about that whole time. Wow.
• 20:22
  Speaker 4: I mean, get it, girl. Wow. My partner's a gamer,
• 20:26
  Speaker 4: so I understand that. Yeah, I can totally relate. Like,
• 20:31
  Speaker 4: I don't understand it. Like, I don't know what he's doing.
• 20:33
  Speaker 4: I'm like, how's... How's World of Warcraft today? I know
• 20:36
  Speaker 4: he's not playing that.
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: It's just a game, you know.
• 20:39
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it's the only game I know. How's The Sims?
• 20:43
  Speaker 4: I don't think that, yeah, he was shooting people up
• 20:45
  Speaker 4: in The Sims. But we can lose days to him playing.
• 20:50
  Speaker 4: I mean, see, this is the thing, though. He doesn't
• 20:52
  Speaker 4: do it all the time. Like, he just goes through phases.
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: I guess imagine if you're, may I ask what your
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: husband does for, so your fiancé, what your fiancé does
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: for work? Is it like just nine to five or
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: is he doing something different?
• 21:04
  Speaker 4: I'm so glad you asked. He is a professional waddle.
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: Oh my God.
• 21:09
  Speaker 4: Like, he actually is. And a really successful one, so
• 21:12
  Speaker 4: I don't feel bad saying that either.
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, valid.
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: He can get away with the gaming because he looks
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: so good doing it.
• 21:17
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's... It's so irritating. He's actually so good looking
• 21:20
  Speaker 4: that it's boring. Like, earlier he was like, don't look
• 21:23
  Speaker 4: at me, I look sick. I'm like, shit, you look
• 21:25
  Speaker 4: like me on my best day. Like, if I look
• 21:27
  Speaker 4: like that, that would be my profile picture for the
• 21:29
  Speaker 4: rest of my life. You look like you're modelling whatever
• 21:30
  Speaker 4: this influenza is.
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: Um... It looks like it's about to be filmed and
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: put up on an ad. Yeah.
• 21:36
  Speaker 4: That's so funny.
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: Rack off. So is this a lot of time at home? Yeah.
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: I mean, yeah.
• 21:42
  Speaker 4: You're like in and out. And then at the moment,
• 21:44
  Speaker 4: cause I, yeah, I think I mentioned we're renovating, we're
• 21:46
  Speaker 4: in like a small apartment and we kind of just
• 21:49
  Speaker 4: like living in the bedroom and which sounds way sexier
• 21:53
  Speaker 4: than it actually is. Cause it's mostly him gaming.
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: Does he game by himself or with friends?
• 22:01
  Speaker 4: With friends. And I was actually talking about this before he,
• 22:05
  Speaker 4: they talk and I don't know when he's on mute
• 22:07
  Speaker 4: or not. Cause he'll came for a few hours. So
• 22:09
  Speaker 4: if I say something I've forgotten, he's got the headset on.
• 22:12
  Speaker 4: So I hope I'm like, well, hope that was muted.
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 22:14
  Speaker 4: Um, but I also quite enjoy it cause I know
• 22:17
  Speaker 4: he's there, but then I can like do my own thing.
• 22:21
  Speaker 4: Like what, like, you know, watch documentaries about the Appalachian mountains.
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: That's true. I wonder if it is maybe a grass
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: is greener situation. It would obviously be nice if he
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: was spending more time with, um, his wife for the,
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: for the person that sent a dilemma, it'd be nice.
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: But I wonder if like, if he just goes stuff it,
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: I'll throw out the video games. Would you be like,
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: now I'm sick of you type of thing? Yeah.
• 22:40
  Speaker 4: I think it's about finding a balance of funding, but
• 22:41
  Speaker 4: you know, getting the screen time hours down.
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 22:45
  Speaker 4: But, um, yeah, cause I don't like, I don't need
• 22:48
  Speaker 4: to talk to Jack all the time. Like I enjoy
• 22:50
  Speaker 4: a bit of time, but then I'm like, you go,
• 22:52
  Speaker 4: you go shoot some people and I'll go, you know,
• 22:54
  Speaker 4: investigate the skinwalkers or whatever they're called. We've both got
• 22:58
  Speaker 4: our lanes.
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah.
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: What do you reckon?
• 23:01
  Speaker 3: I think the problem with this dilemma isn't actually that
• 23:04
  Speaker 3: he's a gamer. It's the fact that she's uncomfortable with
• 23:06
  Speaker 3: it and he continues to do it. Because gaming gets
• 23:09
  Speaker 3: a really bad rap in my eyes because for some
• 23:11
  Speaker 3: reason the stigma behind it is like, you're nerdy or
• 23:14
  Speaker 3: you're spending too much time on a screen. But if
• 23:16
  Speaker 3: he was just watching Netflix, it probably wouldn't be an issue.
• 23:18
  Speaker 3: And the thing a lot of partners can't understand, not
• 23:21
  Speaker 3: that I'm backing and defending gaming, is like your partner
• 23:24
  Speaker 3: or a lot of men who game, they game for
• 23:27
  Speaker 3: the connection through a screen with their friends. And for
• 23:29
  Speaker 3: some reason, men need that something going on in the background.
• 23:33
  Speaker 3: They need to shoot someone or they need to climb
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: something or build something while they're talking to their friends
• 23:39
  Speaker 3: about their feelings. I don't know what this guy's doing.
• 23:42
  Speaker 3: I don't know if he's doing that, but I used
• 23:44
  Speaker 3: to game like back in the day. And that's why
• 23:46
  Speaker 3: I liked it. My best mate and I would jump
• 23:48
  Speaker 3: on Fortnite every afternoon. And at that time, his dad
• 23:51
  Speaker 3: was very sick. And we'd just talk about it in
• 23:54
  Speaker 3: the background. We'd have fun and games and then And
• 23:56
  Speaker 3: I think a lot of relationships struggle to understand how
• 23:59
  Speaker 3: much it means to a man. Saying that, because the
• 24:03
  Speaker 3: partner or the person who sent this in has talked
• 24:06
  Speaker 3: to the partner and said it's an issue and everything
• 24:09
  Speaker 3: like that.
• 24:09
  Speaker 4: That's such a good answer, by the way. That's what
• 24:11
  Speaker 4: I meant to say.
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: I think also, sorry if.
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: I'm stealing what you're about to say, Odi, but the
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: hard thing about it is you can know that and
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: recognize it, but if you say to your partner, this
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: is an issue for me. Like I feel alone. I
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: sacrificed where I used to live and friends and family
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: to come move here because I wanted to do it
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: because I love you. And then instead of him thinking, wow,
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: you know, she's really sacrificed a lot. I should just
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: make some time to maybe go out on a few
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: more dates or even try and set up going somewhere
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: to make another friend that's a couple, like another couple friend.
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: It's like him just... probably hanging out with her as
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: almost like a, like you were saying about your neurophone
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: or pentaderm really like performatively and then being like, do
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: you mind if I go play video games? Like that
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: is a huge slap in the face. I can see that.
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: So it's a hard one because you've brought it up.
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: So it's like really the thing with men that's really
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: stupid and that I hate, and I also fall under
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: this category. My girlfriend does it with me. And then
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: it's like, we, we just, for some reason we can't,
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: see that side of it a lot of the time. And,
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: and I, my girlfriend's really good because she just obviously
• 25:33
  Speaker 2: stands up for herself. And, and I think I'm obviously,
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: I think I'm good and stuff, but I think that
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: a lot of men were just a lot more self-centered than,
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: than we like to think we are. So it's a
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: hard one because if you have to explain it to
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: him the way I just explained it, then you're like,
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: why am I explaining this to a grown man?
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: They're very thick.
• 25:50
  Speaker 4: He's also getting stimulated by doing the work travel as well,
• 25:53
  Speaker 4: where she's in the one spot.
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, true. So she's a stay at home wife
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: right now. I wonder if maybe, did you say stay
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: at home mom or stay at home wife? I believe
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: it was stay at home wife. If you don't have kids,
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: you could potentially go just get a job for the
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: performativeness of it.
• 26:06
  Speaker 3: You just shouldn't have to do that. When they don't
• 26:08
  Speaker 3: listen to you, it makes it so hard.
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: You've been so vocal about it.
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: Look, we don't shy away from saying breakup or divorce.
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: I don't think this is breakup. I think this is like,
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: come on, mate.
• 26:18
  Speaker 3: Fucking listen to this podcast and pull your head in
• 26:20
  Speaker 3: a little bit and be with your partner. You're still
• 26:22
  Speaker 3: allowed a game.
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: Here's the thing that I think though as well is
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: like if you were to say it a few times
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: and then nothing changes, right? Like that's full. You'd think
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: to yourself, oh, why would I divorce him over something
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: this small? It's just video games. But at the same time,
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: it's like, is it?
• 26:36
  Speaker 4: Yeah, is he listening or is he trying to prove
• 26:38
  Speaker 4: a point by not listening?
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean?
• 26:40
  Speaker 4: Then you kind of go down that road.
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: If you wanted to break up, by all means break up.
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: And if someone said, why? And you're like, oh, because
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: he kept on playing video games. It's like, it's not
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: their business to say, oh, that's the shittest reason ever.
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean?
• 26:51
  Speaker 4: Yeah. I mean, she's committed to moving to New York
• 26:54
  Speaker 4: for him. So, yeah, I think he can, you know, just.
• 26:58
  Speaker 4: Dial it back a little bit. Also, can't you take
• 27:00
  Speaker 4: your games on your work trips, bro?
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: Get all your gaming out on these work trips. Surely, like,
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: even if you're working 12 hours a day, you don't
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: go back and then go to sleep straight away. Yeah. Yeah.
• 27:13
  Speaker 2: Have you ever been addicted to video games, Joel?
• 27:17
  Speaker 4: No. I played, like, a bit in high school growing up,
• 27:20
  Speaker 4: but it wasn't ever really my forte. Yeah. but you
• 27:24
  Speaker 4: know i was mad like i was i was like
• 27:26
  Speaker 4: old school like nintendo 64 mario kart days um and
• 27:30
  Speaker 4: then i got an xbox performatively because all the other
• 27:33
  Speaker 4: boys were and i thought i needed to get one
• 27:36
  Speaker 4: and i don't even i don't even know if i
• 27:38
  Speaker 4: ever took it out of the box.
• 27:42
  Speaker 2: Wait we'd get along because i i got an xbox
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: performatively once and i tried to play i tried so
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: hard i like I would force myself to play video
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: games in the afternoon. I would, I never even want,
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: I wouldn't go home. I would go home and be like,
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: Oh my God, I gotta go play video games.
• 27:56
  Speaker 4: Like what am I supposed to have?
• 27:58
  Speaker 2: And I would like try to get good, but I just,
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: for some reason hated it. And looking back now, it's
• 28:03
  Speaker 2: like the best thing ever that I never got addicted
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: to video games or at least in my life.
• 28:08
  Speaker 4: I was, um, I was a mad tennis player growing up.
• 28:11
  Speaker 4: So every day after school, I was like, I was
• 28:12
  Speaker 4: down the courts playing. Um, yeah, like every day, like, yeah,
• 28:18
  Speaker 4: loved it. I was, I genuinely thought I was Serena Williams.
• 28:21
  Speaker 4: Like I loved her so much that I actually, like,
• 28:23
  Speaker 4: I started like playing like her, like trying to like
• 28:26
  Speaker 4: mimic her play. I would grunt.
• 28:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 28:29
  Speaker 4: I love everything Serena.
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: Are the grunts in tennis performative? Cause you used to play?
• 28:34
  Speaker 4: From a 14-year-old playing at the Uppercross Village Tennis Club, yes.
• 28:40
  Speaker 4: But I don't know. I don't think from like an
• 28:43
  Speaker 4: elite athlete like Serena. No, I think it's like just
• 28:46
  Speaker 4: you're wanting to do everything to wheel that ball into
• 28:49
  Speaker 4: the right spot as fast as possible.
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: I've just always found it so weird that everyone's so
• 28:53
  Speaker 2: silent and there's just these grunts going back and forth.
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: Some of the grunts are a bit like, they seem forced.
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: They're like, oh! Well, the one I remember, Sharapova was
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: a bit of a scream.
• 29:03
  Speaker 4: She's the famous one.
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: She's the famous one. I don't mind hearing like a,
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: just like a proper, you know, like. It's the same
• 29:09
  Speaker 2: in the gym.
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: I think grunting in the gym is performative. Like you
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: just breathe.
• 29:13
  Speaker 4: Oh, massively.
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: If you're grunting in the gym, that's so performative.
• 29:18
  Speaker 4: Like your final rep or something.
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 29:21
  Speaker 4: Like at the top. Yeah, sure. I get that, but
• 29:25
  Speaker 4: some people are so loud. And when I'm at the gym,
• 29:29
  Speaker 4: I want to draw as little attention to the fact
• 29:30
  Speaker 4: that I'm there as possible. I just want to get in,
• 29:32
  Speaker 4: do it, get out. That's imagine wanting to get like
• 29:35
  Speaker 4: let everyone know to signpost yes i'm over here on
• 29:38
  Speaker 4: this bench press and clearly struggling with it because i'm
• 29:41
  Speaker 4: making so much noise.
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: Because it sounds like i'm having sex.
• 29:45
  Speaker 4: I also think there's sometimes sounds like that.
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: I also think i it's it falls under the same
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: category as sneezing for me i think sneezing is the
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: most performative thing if you do a loud one.
• 29:54
  Speaker 4: Oh, no, but isn't it satisfying?
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: Oh, it's satisfying. And I love doing a loud one
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: and have a couple people look back at you.
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, 100%.
• 30:01
  Speaker 4: But are you getting louder as you get older?
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: I've always been loud.
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: No, because I'll be loud if it's just me and audio,
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: I'll be loud if it's just me and my girlfriend,
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: I'll be loud. But if I'm somewhere like at the
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: gym or if I'm on a plane, I can just
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: be like, and it's like, I can be as silent
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: as I want to be.
• 30:17
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's true.
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: That's a good point. So that's why it's the most
• 30:19
  Speaker 2: performative thing ever because you can be quiet. Yeah.
• 30:23
  Speaker 4: I remember getting told in sex ed growing up that
• 30:25
  Speaker 4: a sneeze was like an orgasm.
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, what? I wish.
• 30:28
  Speaker 4: Did you get that too?
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: I swear I've seen a thing where it's like a
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: sneeze is one eighth of an orgasm. So then it's like,
• 30:33
  Speaker 2: is eight sneezes an orgasm?
• 30:36
  Speaker 4: Yeah, like line me up. Yeah, give me some pepper
• 30:39
  Speaker 4: or something.
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: What was it?
• 30:40
  Speaker 3: No, I swear this can't be true. This is a
• 30:42
  Speaker 3: bit derog, but I thought it was when you're having
• 30:44
  Speaker 3: sex with a woman and they sneeze at like, Broke
• 30:47
  Speaker 3: your doodle.
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I've heard of that as well. I've heard of that.
• 30:49
  Speaker 2: Apparently the muscles down there are pretty strong.
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: Is that true?
• 30:52
  Speaker 4: How have I heard of that?
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: Hey, I mean.
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: You're part of the world, I suppose. I've also heard
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: that when you sneeze, apparently you say bless you because
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: your heart stops for a beat. Oh, shit.
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: It just can't be true.
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
• 31:05
  Speaker 4: I've never thought about why I say bless you. And
• 31:08
  Speaker 4: I'm not a particularly religious person, but I say it.
• 31:10
  Speaker 2: And it used to be like, God bless you. Yeah.
• 31:12
  Speaker 2: And so apparently it's because your heart stops.
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: Me and my girlfriend had the joke. If one of
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: us don't say it, it's like, where's my bless?
• 31:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: Why didn't you bless me?
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah. Totally.
• 31:19
  Speaker 3: And to finish Joel, to finish the episode, we have
• 31:22
  Speaker 3: spoke actually quite a lot on sharp left turn too,
• 31:26
  Speaker 3: by the way, the male loneliness epidemic where we don't
• 31:30
  Speaker 3: like the title to be fair, but I guess that's
• 31:33
  Speaker 3: just what everyone knows it as where There's an increasing
• 31:36
  Speaker 3: number of men feeling isolated, lonely, vulnerable with their friends
• 31:41
  Speaker 3: and also in relationships. And we just wanted to hear
• 31:44
  Speaker 3: maybe your take on it, especially from maybe a bit
• 31:47
  Speaker 3: of an older lens or someone who's experienced more life
• 31:50
  Speaker 3: than both of us.
• 31:52
  Speaker 4: Okay. Well, I don't reckon you needed to add that
• 31:54
  Speaker 4: last bit.
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: I was just going to say that was the nicest
• 31:59
  Speaker 2: attempt at trying to say someone that's older. Wow.
• 32:02
  Speaker 4: I feel so wise.
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: Thank you. Oh, my God. I was hoping for like
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: a mentor's POV. It didn't come out right.
• 32:11
  Speaker 4: I know. Now my answer's got to be.
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: You know when you have notes and you're trying to
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: make it make sense and sound good in your head?
• 32:17
  Speaker 2: It doesn't have to be good. Do you have a
• 32:20
  Speaker 2: take on it? Is it something that's brought up in
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: your circle? Is it something that.
• 32:23
  Speaker 4: People talk about? Well, it's scary because loneliness is so terrifying.
• 32:27
  Speaker 4: And you can be in a busy room in a
• 32:31
  Speaker 4: relationship and it still can be there. And yeah, I
• 32:35
  Speaker 4: guess it is such a prevalent thing with men. And
• 32:38
  Speaker 4: all I can say is the best thing, there's nothing
• 32:41
  Speaker 4: wrong with talking about it. And it's kind of, I
• 32:44
  Speaker 4: think it's quite cool. I think it's quite rock and
• 32:45
  Speaker 4: roll to show that you're in touch with that side
• 32:49
  Speaker 4: of you and your emotions. And particularly for a straight man,
• 32:54
  Speaker 4: as someone that gets to, what's the word I'm looking for?
• 32:58
  Speaker 4: As someone who gets to spend a bit of time
• 33:01
  Speaker 4: on enemy territory, hanging out with the girls, I know
• 33:05
  Speaker 4: that they like a man that are in touch with
• 33:07
  Speaker 4: their feelings and is upfront about it. There's nothing, like
• 33:12
  Speaker 4: weak about it at all. In fact, I think it
• 33:14
  Speaker 4: just shows strength, if anything else. So yeah, it is a,
• 33:19
  Speaker 4: it's a scary time. And particularly with the amount of
• 33:21
  Speaker 4: people just getting red peeled at the moment. Um, yeah, I, I'm,
• 33:25
  Speaker 4: I'm not remotely surprised that things aren't getting better. They're
• 33:29
  Speaker 4: only getting worse because not, it's not like, yeah, there's not,
• 33:33
  Speaker 4: not everyone's like you guys. Um, it's terrifying how much
• 33:36
  Speaker 4: is out there. for people to discover and learn on
• 33:39
  Speaker 4: their own without any guidance.
• 33:40
  Speaker 3: Well, Jake said the other day that someone who creates
• 33:44
  Speaker 3: a new Instagram account, within the first three minutes of
• 33:48
  Speaker 3: creating the account, you will be fed some type of
• 33:51
  Speaker 3: manosphere red pill bullshit.
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: The young, impressionable men. And, like, that's because it gets
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: the clicks. That's what people, like, you have that sort
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: of X factor of, like, oh, shit, what's that?
• 34:03
  Speaker 3: And then the impressionable men who, like, don't know anything
• 34:05
  Speaker 3: about life who are, 16, 17, 18, dealing with this?
• 34:10
  Speaker 4: I wouldn't even know how to begin raising someone at
• 34:13
  Speaker 4: the moment. My sisters have two, I've got two nieces
• 34:17
  Speaker 4: and a nephew. They're three, two, and one. And I
• 34:21
  Speaker 4: wouldn't even begin to know how to start raising kids
• 34:24
  Speaker 4: at the moment with social media. I came through in
• 34:27
  Speaker 4: the days of MSN and the early days of the internet.
• 34:30
  Speaker 4: And I, that was, I can't even imagine how my
• 34:33
  Speaker 4: parents dealt with it. So I, have no idea how
• 34:36
  Speaker 4: the future generations are going.
• 34:39
  Speaker 2: To do it.
• 34:39
  Speaker 4: And also I have zero answers because it's so overwhelming
• 34:43
  Speaker 4: and depressing. And then add AI into the mix. Holy shit.
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 34:47
  Speaker 2: Oh my God. Yeah.
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: AI.
• 34:49
  Speaker 2: I've thought, so we were probably, I remember I got
• 34:54
  Speaker 2: my Facebook account when I was eight. Didn't really use it.
• 34:58
  Speaker 4: What?
• 34:59
  Speaker 2: My older sister set me up a Facebook account when
• 35:01
  Speaker 2: I was about eight and she had to say I
• 35:02
  Speaker 2: was of age.
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: What's her age?
• 35:04
  Speaker 2: 16? I think it's like there was a certain age
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: you had to be to make the account. I can't
• 35:07
  Speaker 2: actually remember what it was anyway. She just like backdated it.
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: But we also like Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok, all that, that
• 35:15
  Speaker 2: came out when we were in our early to mid-teens.
• 35:18
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 35:18
  Speaker 2: And so we, so I would say- We're.
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: On the cusp.
• 35:21
  Speaker 2: Like we are probably one of the first generations whose
• 35:24
  Speaker 2: parents had to deal with like the full flood of
• 35:29
  Speaker 2: the social media. Yeah. I've always thought, what are we
• 35:33
  Speaker 2: going to have to deal with because of the way that,
• 35:36
  Speaker 2: that whole thing of people, of everything, you know, advancing
• 35:38
  Speaker 2: so quick. And the thing we're going to have to
• 35:39
  Speaker 2: deal with is AI.
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: It's kind of scary, isn't it?
• 35:42
  Speaker 3: I've never really like thought about the different type of
• 35:44
  Speaker 3: parenting we'll have to go through because of the stuff
• 35:46
  Speaker 3: we don't.
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: Even know exists yet.
• 35:47
  Speaker 2: Cause like I, I admittedly judge people that'll just chuck
• 35:51
  Speaker 2: an iPad in front of their kid's face at a
• 35:52
  Speaker 2: restaurant just to like keep them quiet. I'm like, Oh,
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: come on, like put a bit of effort into them,
• 35:56
  Speaker 2: you know, teach them to be respectful and quiet at
• 35:58
  Speaker 2: a restaurant when you guys are out and about. But, Like,
• 36:00
  Speaker 2: what are we going to be doing to get our
• 36:02
  Speaker 2: kids back?
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: We haven't been there, though. I think that, too.
• 36:04
  Speaker 3: But then also, like, going through that, I can't comprehend
• 36:08
  Speaker 3: what you need to do.
• 36:09
  Speaker 4: Yeah. It's full on. It's terrifying. Like, I can look
• 36:14
  Speaker 4: at all this as well through the lens of a
• 36:16
  Speaker 4: gay man. The standards for gay men on social media and,
• 36:21
  Speaker 4: you know, and then on apps and Grindr and just
• 36:23
  Speaker 4: in the community are... are so high and it's so judgmental.
• 36:27
  Speaker 2: Is it?
• 36:27
  Speaker 4: I can't imagine being, yeah. Oh my God.
• 36:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 36:30
  Speaker 4: So I can't imagine being a young queer, um, I
• 36:32
  Speaker 4: can only speak for the guys, but young queer boy
• 36:35
  Speaker 4: having to see, um, you know, all, all this stuff
• 36:38
  Speaker 4: on social media. I need to look like that. And
• 36:40
  Speaker 4: why am I getting to the gym this amount? And
• 36:41
  Speaker 4: why don't I have these pecs and these abs? And yeah, it's,
• 36:44
  Speaker 4: it's full on. And to all the parents, they say,
• 36:48
  Speaker 4: good luck. Yes.
• 36:49
  Speaker 2: Oh my God.
• 36:50
  Speaker 4: Good luck.
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: It honestly is so overwhelming.
• 36:52
  Speaker 2: Oh, That's crazy. But Joel, thank you so much for
• 36:56
  Speaker 2: coming on the show.
• 36:57
  Speaker 4: Oh, thank you so much for having me. I hope
• 36:59
  Speaker 4: I imparted some wisdom if what not to do, if
• 37:04
  Speaker 4: anything else.
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: No, no, no. We loved our chat. And also enjoy
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: those Krispy Kremes you sent me for the rest of
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: the day.
• 37:09
  Speaker 4: I was about to say, thank you so much. I've
• 37:11
  Speaker 4: smashed two. I've got an original glaze and a chocolate-covered one.
• 37:15
  Speaker 4: And I'm eyeing off, what's the one with the powder
• 37:17
  Speaker 4: on top? Is that like a jam?
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: I think we sent you a variety pack. Yeah, I
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: think it was a jam.
• 37:22
  Speaker 2: You did. Yeah.
• 37:24
  Speaker 4: Okay. Well, that's dinner sorted.
• 37:26
  Speaker 2: Make sure you share them. Oh, okay. Yeah, I will. Sure.
• 37:30
  Speaker 4: My fingers are crossed.
• 37:31
  Speaker 2: All right.
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: Thanks so much, Joel.
• 37:32
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 37:33
  Speaker 4: Thanks, legends.