Latest / Arrivals: A Birth Story Podcast / Two birth center births, precipitous labor, and optimizing your birth experience

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Two birth center births, precipitous labor, and optimizing your birth experience · Arrivals: A Birth Story Podcast

• Merelise Wilson: Hello and welcome the Arrivals podcast. I'm your host, Merelise Wilson ⁓ And today I have Kate Swafford with me. Thank you for having me. I'm so excited. ⁓ I'm so excited that you're here, too I can't wait to talk about your births. ⁓ You are the first person I've had on the podcast that has had a birth center birth. Awesome. Yeah, that's great. That's even more exciting. know it's really unique feel like in Atlanta, especially in the city like it's very much Hospital birth, you know, and we have a couple like ⁓ centers in the city, but I don't know I just haven't come across that many people that have utilized them. So I'm really excited to hear about your experiences. Well, good. I'm excited to talk about it. Awesome. Yeah. So what was pregnancy like for you? I guess kind of just starting at the beginning. Yeah. So my first, it's so funny to like look back because I felt like a pregnant queen and I was just like, this is amazing. I could be pregnant all the time, even like a little bit. My husband laughs because my second one was not like that. But I was like, what are all these? pregnant women complaining about. Like pregnancy is amazing. I felt great. And I'm just like literally thinking everybody's so like complaining about how miserable it is. But this is amazing. Like, you know, we went on, we went to Hawaii. I was eight months pregnant and I'm like, living, you know, that was a long flight. It was like a little psychotic, honestly, like my husband, clearly our first, because we were like, yeah. Whatever, it's fine. It's like nine to 10 months pregnancy. But it was just like, I felt so great. You're one of the chosen few. Yeah. You lucky girl. And I'm like, all these people don't know what they're talking about. Well, obviously, the Lord humbled me really quick with my second one. And it really, you know, my first pregnancy, I had a little bit of nausea in the beginning. But other than that, yeah, I literally just felt amazing. And then my second, I had two girls. I think my pregnancies were similar. I wasn't overly sick or anything like that, but with my second, she was sitting on a nerve and I don't know a better term. They call it fire crotch. Oh yeah. Is there a better term? I that's what I always call it. I hate the way that they call it that. I know. But it's kind of feels raunchy. It's also very though. Yeah, very what it is. But it was constant for six months. It didn't give up. And so like I would be sitting and have to, you know, like it was just so painful. ⁓ So then I like obviously laughed because I was like, okay, yeah, here's my humble pie. Like I get it. It's hard. I'm so sorry to all of you wonderful pregnant women that were struggling my first time, know, like I take it back. take it back. Literally immediately was like, ⁓ my God, I'm so sorry. but yeah, both were decent. Just that was a lot of pain for a significant amount of time. Yeah, that's tough. It's really tough. So then when you were pregnant with your first yes, what were you thinking in terms of what you wanted from your birth? Did you have a birth plan or preferences? What had you you know before you got pregnant was it something you thought about like what was kind of your approach to birth and your I guess background on it, so My best friend had she got pregnant what she got married and then got pregnant the next month at 21 and so she was like the first for everything. And I just kind of like watched how she did it. And she came from a very holistic family. Her dad in functional medicine. And so she right out the gate knew she was going to do, I think that she had him at home. I can't even remember her first, both of her second, her second and her third were at home, but all of them were unmedicated, natural. And I was like, okay, cool. Like that's what I'm going to do. You know? Like, great. Sounds good to me. so I kind of always knew that. And I thought home birth is what I always. thought. And I kind of lean holistic too. So it really just was kind of like a no brainer. Spoke to you. Yeah, it was like, yeah, this feels totally aligned with me and my beliefs and all that. And then as we got pregnant, was thinking, okay, I probably should like definitely research to make sure I'm not just going along with what she did. And the more I researched, I was like, yeah, this totally aligns with me. But my husband was, which I think is totally normal for a husband was worried about the home birth because you hear all these traumatic stories, you hear great stories, you hear traumatic stories and he is a very risk adverse person. So he was like, I don't feel comfortable with you being at home for your first baby, not knowing how you're going to react. And so I was like, man, there's got to be a better way. Like there's got to be something that's in between. Yeah. And so I had another friend and she had had a baby at the birth center, her first at the birth center and then the rest were at home. And so I was asking her like, can you tell me a little bit about it? And when she described it, I was like, ⁓ my gosh, this is like the jackpot. Best of both worlds. The best of both worlds. And I didn't even know that existed. I don't think a lot of people know it exists. Because when I tell people, they're like, what is a birth center? would you describe it, speaking of? OK, so how I always tell people is it ⁓ a home birth environment. ⁓ I think, I don't know if you know, but they have three rooms. So I think we talked about that maybe, which birth center were you at? Atlanta birth center. So like it's on Baltimore Ave, smacked up in the city. they have three rooms only and ⁓ have a water, fire and earth. So it's very like, you know, makes you feel ⁓ ⁓ with the elements. Yes, with the elements and ⁓ it's a bed like. a king size bed and like real sheet. Like it feels like a bedroom and there's like a couch and they have a beautiful bathroom and all of them and like a shower, like if you want it to labor in the shower. So it feels like a home. Like you feel like you're in a bedroom. And then they have the twinkle lights and everything. I did not know that. Yeah. I can show you pictures after too. it's really But they have midwives and they have nurses. ⁓ and they have emergency transport to a hospital. ⁓ for me, I was like, okay, I can get, and the number one thing is you have to be all in on non-medicated. There's no intervention there. So ⁓ I was like, this is great. It's home birth, but emergency transport if I need it, and there's nurses and midwives if I need it, and so I feel good. And it's pretty much the only thing that they aren't set up to address is ⁓ C-section and epidurals everything else like they can they can handle yeah. Yeah, it's cool and they're you know for like those that aren't super familiar with More of like the natural birthing and the midwives and all that they do like the inversions and like the different likes Nipple simulations and stuff like that. So instead of where they maybe would do like pitocin ⁓ would try the like alternative Methods, which I really liked that they initiated that and if it was at home, I kind of feel like Maybe I would have had to be responsible for figuring that out. So I liked that everything was just done for me and like how I would want it to be done. So it was really great. Did you have, did they kind of like pre-screen you to make sure you qualified for this type of birth experience, like not in hospital? Yes. So they have like, you can't have twins. You can't do VBACs, which I would love for them to figure out a way to do that because I think that that is such a thing that is not really addressed. Like people, know so many people that really want it, but it's hard to get that done. So I would prefer them to figure that out. And there's some other qualifications, but the main ones were ⁓ VBAC and no twins. Okay. I'm surprised about the twins for some reason. And I hope that I'm saying that right. Yeah. But those are the two that stick in my mind. So I'm like, surely that's right. But I'm pretty sure maybe there is twins. I don't know. I could have swore it was no twins and I might need to double check that. ⁓ feel like I'm grilling you, it crazy how much you forget how quickly? So quickly. It's ⁓ really insane, actually. ⁓ ⁓ but yeah, love experience there. And I think it's cool that I wish that it was ⁓ more widely offered. Yeah. Because it is only rooms. And so they only accept a certain amount of people per month, like birth due date month. Right. I guess. That makes sense. So. Yeah. And how far away was it from your house? How long of a drive? I think it depends on traffic. You know Atlanta? So I live on a good day, probably like 45 minutes from the birth center. And luckily both of my kids were born. I went to the birth center in like the middle of the night. So praise the Lord for that because otherwise probably would have had. at least one of them in the car. on the side of 285, 75, you know. So not quite the zen environment you were going for. Absolutely not. That was actually one of my biggest fears. was like, I just don't want to, I don't want to have a baby in a car. I just don't want to do it. And I love the people that did it. I think it's amazing that that is their story. I just wasn't prepared for that to be mine. no, no. Yeah. All right. So you have your birth plan your husband is comfortable with the birth center. And then you're just waiting, I guess. Yeah. So we did The Bradley Method, the husband acts as a doula. ⁓ suggest ⁓ have a doula for your first time. Yeah. My husband's incredible. I love my husband. He's steady as a rock. He's amazing. ⁓ I think that a woman who has been through birth, ⁓ is very helpful in that scenario. And in my head, I'm like, we got it. We're team, babe. We're in it to win it. And then I quickly realized, ⁓ are a man still at the end of the day. And you just ⁓ no idea. Just like I have no idea. We have no idea. ⁓ yeah, ⁓ ⁓ have loved to do a little first step around ⁓ back to it. But it's OK. We didn't officially do the Bradley method with my first baby, but my husband ended up basically acting as my doula because it was during COVID. And so I couldn't have a doula. And ⁓ agreed. He was like everything I could have ever asked for and more from a first time husband, dad, doula. But it's just, you can't like discount that experience that the pros have. Yes. Like they've actually seen it done and there's something to it, you know? And I think it's really hard too when the person if you're acting as Dula, the person that you support is like someone that you love so much, it's hard to see them in pain. And so I think there's an additional layer for husbands and where it's nice just to have kind of like a neutral professional. Yes, definitely agree with that. So I can dive in on Emerson is my first. She's four and a half. So I my water broke. She was due on July 8th and she was born on July 8th, which is really cool. like 5 % I think of babies that are born on their due date. ⁓ And so July 7th around like 11 a.m. like sitting on my ball working. thank goodness I had my house cleaner come because ⁓ ⁓ that I would want my house clean when I had a baby. And so she was there. ⁓ so everything was just like ⁓ up so wonderfully because if I walked. If I had a baby and walked to my house as a disaster, I think I would have just felt so much anxiety. So it worked out so well. And yeah, so my water broke at 11. And when we were talking before, I think I told you this was another like, just another humbling moment. It was like the pregnancy thing. I like had the contractions and I was like, oh my gosh, I'm having a baby. Because when you watch the movies, like half the time they like, oh my God, my water broke. I'm having a baby. We go to the hospital. I pushed the baby out. I'm beautiful. I'm gorgeous. I mean, like, sweet. This is gonna, this is great. Like I'm ready to rock. So I had been having contractions and I thought at the time they were bad and lo and behold, they were nothing. And so we were tracking them and everything and I'm like, okay, I you're gonna go to the first center. And so I like showered and I curled my hair and I like put makeup on and we have this hilarious video. It's funny to us of me like, here we are in the car. I'm like gonna go have a baby, you know, like. Here we go. And ⁓ so we get to the birth center and they're like, ⁓ sister, you're not even close. And I was like, ⁓ my gosh, I thought I was like about to have a baby. So they send us home. So we drive back home. That's the hard thing about the birth center. I will say like, because there's only three rooms, like I think, and I don't know much about traditional hospital births, but I'm pretty sure if I would have showed up to the hospital. in labor with my water broke, they would have admitted me, right? With your water broken, yes. Right, okay. That's not how the birth center works. So they sent me home and I- And did they send you home, like did they do an internal exam? sent you home, so you weren't very dilated or was it more about like how close your contractions were? Like what was the kind of deciding factor? I think it was all the above. Okay. It was, they did the exam. I don't even remember. I'm not- I think my husband probably would remember more of those details. like my detail guy with all that kind of stuff. I don't even remember how many centimeters dilated I was. I don't remember any of that. I just remember being like, okay, I guess we're going home. ⁓ so ⁓ guess it was contractions because my contractions were close, ⁓ I then realized they were not intense enough. ⁓ So they sent me home and I just kind of rested. My husband's amazing. He like printed out these giant poster pictures of us in Hawaii, those are our baby moon. And I had always told him like, that's my happy place. Us in the hammock, you playing the ukulele, like that's my happy place. So we had all those set up in the bedroom and ⁓ twinkle lights everywhere. ⁓ Lots of oxytocin. Yes, it was all great until... the actual contractions started hitting and I was like, ⁓ wow, this is not what I expected. And I had a of, for both of my ⁓ labors a lot of, what are they? think they call back labor. Yeah, I I think there might be a name for it. I don't know, but the back labor, like just horrible. ⁓ God, that's the worst. And I threw up the entire time. Kait ⁓ It was ⁓ so bad it lasted and ⁓ it was same It was the same power of contractions from that moment until I ended up giving birth. So I feel like I was stuck in transition for probably like 10 to 15 hours of that crazy intense contraction immediately followed by throwing up. we got so dehydrated, so dehydrated. And I had like the honey, like, you know, the little honey sticks and the goo, you know, the goo stuff. I couldn't keep anything down. And so After about, I think, after about five or six hours of me doing that at home, my husband was like, I don't know what to do anymore. We need to take you. Did they tell you what to look for before you came back? How were you supposed to know when you... I don't know. I really think that there probably wasn't a ton of... There's only a couple of things where I'm like, I think they could probably improve. I think that's an area of improvement for them because I do. And I think that's probably in any medical profession. I think there's a little bit of like desensitization. think there's a little bit of. desensitization? That's wrong. Desensitization? Is that right? the words. say it, I'm is it a word? Okay, I'm gonna just rephrase that whole thing. I think that's an area of improvement with the birth center because I think in any medical professional, I think you become a little bit desensitized to, I think people probably like, you're not even close to go home kind of thing versus realizing this is my first time doing this. I don't really know. don't have a dual. Communication is not the strong suit. There wasn't a ton of communication there. And I had an incredible birth coach. I mean, she's amazing. I love her. And she kind of had told me. But I think because I was stuck in that transition and I wasn't sure. I'm like, is this? I'm here so long. But she had always told me when you hit that, you're about to go down into birth. But I think I was there for so long. I was like, If this isn't transition, what is transition? this is literally so bad. ⁓ So we just, I think my husband was kind of just feeling a little hopeless at that time. And he was like, I'm just going to bring you back in. And because I was, I think they saw I was, I mean, full on in labor throwing up, they were like, okay, you can, we'll admit you. And that lasted all night. And another critique, I know I felt bad. I'm like, ⁓ wow, I guess there was some things that could have. I think this is where a doula would have been really great is I was in that room by myself in that same position throwing up at the high contractions in that room for like five hours ⁓ nobody like came to help me progress. ⁓ I don't know if that's another one of those like she thinks she's actually, but she's, don't know. I don't know if it's just they're a little ⁓ desensitized to it. I'm not sure. ⁓ But eventually, I don't know if my husband got them or she came in, eventually my midwife came in and we did inversions to get the baby in the right position. And then we did, they put a breast pump on me to stimulate contractions. And then that's when I started and I was like, oh, and they did sifting. Have you heard of that? Is that where they kind of put a big thing under your belly and kind of shake And they shake it, yes. so once they did all of that progress, and I was thinking. I would have loved for this five hours ago. Like I would have loved for this at any point before now. With the pumping, were they trying to get your contractions to get stronger? It sounds like they were already kind of... I guess they were trying to make just baby come. Because I was stuck. Like I think they realized like she's been at the same spot for so long and it's not... This part, the part where it goes... her over the edge. Yes, I was not getting over. And so the inversion, the sifting and the stimulation. helped her, then I finally started feeling like, ⁓ my gosh, she's coming. Like, yeah, I finally could feel my body ready to like push. Wow. But then, and I need to verify this as well, but I'm like, wow, I should have verified a lot of this before I came here. But ⁓ what I remember from my husband, I pushed for two to two and a half hours. ⁓ it was not even close. Like, it was not even close to being, you know, like I had been in so much pain for so long. And then ⁓ And I didn't do any type of interventions. Like they have some kind of like water thing they can do where they like inject water into your. Yes. Yeah. And I just didn't want anything. I was so hard headed. I was like, I am not doing anything. Don't even give me a Tylenol. Like I can do this. I am strong. Like I can do this. But they ended up having to do an IV of water and sugar because I had, I was so dehydrated. had no energy to even push. ⁓ And then, so for two and a half hours and. I was like, and the position thing, this, now that I, as I talk about it in a more medical quote unquote, where I realized like there are a lot of things that I wish were done differently. And I do think that doula would have paid like played a big part, but I think I thought like it's the birth center. Right. They're gonna do these things for me anyway. That's what I would think too. Yeah. Yeah. But I laid on my back with my Oh my gosh, I'm sorry, I'm like, put my leg up. Again, I that when we talked last time, I put my leg up. I laid on my side with my leg up. My husband holding my leg for the two and a half hours. He's shaking. I mean, convulsing. And I remember being like, can somebody tap him out? He's shaking. He's been holding my leg for so long. And then what got it was we're... the midwife holds one part of the towel. And I think they let my husband do this. I think she showed me and then my husband got to get a relief and then he went and he holds one part and I pull the towel. Have you heard that? No, I haven't. Yeah. It's like a so he had the one side. It was like a tug of war, but it was like to help push the baby out. Yeah. And after doing that, eventually she came. Yeah. And then I almost hemorrhaged. And so they had to give me pitocin after. And so it was like a little traumatic, you know? But I mean, you like you just, feel so powerful after that. You're like, I am so strong. Like, I just did that. Like what the heck? It's like the most amazing natural high in the world. is, whatever. Like, I don't care. I just pushed a baby out. Like this is amazing, you know? So. And did you have any tears? I did. Yeah. Yeah, I had like a second degree, which I really was trying not to have, but I guess because like it was ⁓ a long time of pushing and I didn't have much energy, it was just the way it happened. kind of like having to muscle it out versus muscle her out versus just kind of like breathing. Yes, ⁓ Yeah. Exactly. So that's that one. ⁓ yeah. And then your recovery, how long do you stay at the birth center? ⁓ stay for six hours. OK. ⁓ which I love, honestly. love that I get to sleep, get to catch up on my sleep for a little bit with nurses there monitoring. Because for me, I don't think that having the day that I have my baby is maybe unpopular opinion, but that day is not the best day of my life. To me, it's the day after. After I've recovered and I'm looking at this like... precious little newborn baby that's all mine and like that's my favorite day but like the day of birth I'm like emotionally and physically just like so exhausted. So it's nice like can I recover, get to sleep a little bit and then I think for because I hemorrhaged they kept me a little bit longer. I didn't hemorrhage I almost but typically at six hours and then you get to go home. That's awesome. Yeah except my husband and I did not figure out how to use a car seat. before, so it took us like 45 minutes to figure out. It wasn't installed or anything or you just didn't know how? we didn't know how. It was a doona. Yeah. And so, you know, like it wasn't like a normal car seat. None of the nurses knew how. So like everybody in the like unit are trying to figure out how to put this freaking car seat in the car and you can't leave until you figure it out. And then when he left, I mean, we came home. It was great. What was it like for your husband? I feel like because it sounds like it was a pretty intense experience. for you. Yeah. He's such a like, ⁓ calm person. Yeah. He's chilling. Like he was great. And I'm like, I love that for you. I would have been a nervous wreck if I was experienced this. But he is just always like cool as a cucumber, calm, steady, which is what I need. Right. Just like you got this like, know, such a such a good support for my type of personality, but especially in like a birthing situation. I feel like if he was squeamish or whatever, I would have been worried about taking care of him. Totally. And he just was chill. Super chill. That's great. Just sore arms the next day. I mean, when I say convulsing, I'm like, do you not see? Somebody tap him out. This poor guy. Yeah, if you knew that in preparation to become a dad, you need to some bench pressing. Literally. All dads out there do some push-ups before. You never know. So, but yeah. So then little girl number two. Yeah. So my second's Addy and she was wildly different. I remember ⁓ praying like, Lord, like I am really nervous to give birth the second time. And like, I am believing and trusting that like, you are going to take care of me in this. And so like, please help this be a quicker birth. I said, even if it's a 10 hour labor, like ⁓ will take that. Like ⁓ please let this be less traumatic. and less of a time period. Because it was, I was so, there is a little bit of trauma that comes with the long, I think any birth could be, but it was a little just nervous. did he, did he provide? I smiled. So I had mild contractions. you ever, sorry to back up just a little bit. Did you know right when you got pregnant that you wanted to do the birth center birth again? There was no doubt. No doubt, no question. Even though it wasn't a perfect situation, the things that I cared about most were no medical intervention and well, not medical intervention, but no medication. I didn't want any drugs in my No unnecessary intervention. Yes. And I wanted to be able to keep her ⁓ the umbilical cord for a while. There was just all the things that I feel like I ⁓ that the birth center ⁓ stood the beliefs that they stood on that I would not have to worry fighting for in a hospital. so for me, even though yeah, less than perfect situation, the principles were also there that I felt confident in things that really mattered to me. Makes a lot of sense. Yeah. So no question, birth center again. And I was three days or 43, 40 weeks and three days. ⁓ and ⁓ I started having contractions and ⁓ I ate like a super hearty meal and we were doing all the things like we, I never wanted to have my kids before, ⁓ but I was like, okay, I hit 40 weeks and I haven't had my babies, I'll start doing like all the things, you know? Like I don't need to do before, but like I'll start doing it after. So we did like, curb walking and we did the tees and we did, we had sex because they say that works. Not that it was enjoyable by any means because it's a job. job. And I had like really good like nutritious meals and I was making sure I was being strong and rested and everything. But it was like, felt almost more like racks and hicks in a way that it was like there but it would go away. And so was like, okay, like probably not. gonna have a baby today. I texted my mom, she lives in Texas, and she flies as soon as I'm in labor and she stays for two weeks to take care of me or whatever. And was like, I'm having contractions, but I'm really not sure. So she said, okay, I'll book a flight just in case. So around midnight, I decided to do the mile circuit. ⁓ friend had actually told me, she was like, try this. And I said, ⁓ it's three moves. And so in the middle of the third move, I had fallen asleep. ⁓ And I was like, great, like, this is awesome. I'm taking a nap. I woke up and I was like, oh shoot, like this feels like I'm about to have a baby. Like these are strong and they're, I mean, they're quick. But because my experience before I was like, I don't want to drive to Atlanta, be set home again. I don't want to be dramatic. Like, I'm just going to sit here. know? Well, then I was like, I woke my husband up and I'll, cause I let him sleep. Cause I'm thinking, I'm going to be in it for a while. Yeah, like let him sleep. Let him get rest. My we had our baby at home. My mother-in-law lives right down the street, so she was going to come. I was like, not even going to text her. Like we're in it. And then quickly I was like, oh, oh, no. Oh, no, I think we're ready. Like, I like woke him up. I was like, call your mom. And he's in the mindset that I was just in. He's like, we've been through this. Like, this is going to be a long ride. OK, so I'm like. I'm like, no, I'm feeling like I'm about to have a baby. And so he's like, OK. And ⁓ he's like trying to collect all the posters and get food. I'm like, no, like, like I'm to have a baby. We need to go grab my bag and go. Like as soon as your mom gets here, like we got to take off. Yeah. And so he's like, ⁓ my gosh, really? OK. Yeah. OK. So, know, like we're like getting in the car and I'm like barely making it because I am like buckled over and like he's going like 85 down the highway. And I'm like, I feel my body ready to push. Wow. And I'm like, I will not have this baby on I-75 North. I will not do it. so I'm like, she's coming. She's coming. And so he's flooring it. He's calling the doula. He's like, I think she's about to have this baby. And so I'm like, I don't want to have a baby in the car. don't want to have it in the car. So we pull up to the birth center, coming in hot. God's blazing. you spin it? because of where they are, they're like, Okay, so like we're gonna put you in triage and I said, wherever you put me is where I'm about to push this baby out. Whether it's in the lobby, a room or in triage. Just put me somewhere because this baby is coming. And they're like, oh my gosh, oh my gosh. Okay, okay, okay. So like they get me in the room. My jewel is there. Thankfully she rips my clothes off. She says, get on all fours. I'm like, okay, I get on all fours. And like 10 minutes later, Addy's out. Oh my God. And I'm like, okay. That was so fun. That's so cool. It was actually so fun. Not fun, I mean, as birth, it was just such a cool experience considering my first time around. I just, I loved it. I thought it was great. So definitely different. No hemorrhaging. They actually, because they knew I had the history of it, as soon as I delivered, they gave me the Pitocin to cramp to make sure I didn't have any bleeding or whatever. But yeah, so it was wild. So pushing on all fours, I know it was just like a different labor and it happened a lot faster, but did you feel like that was a better, more productive position for you? Yes. Yeah. I've heard it's, I have actually never given birth on all fours, but I've just heard it's amazing. It is. And you know, my birth coach, she told me, we didn't have her the second time, remember the first time she was like, if you can get an on all fours, that's where you need to have your baby. And I think, as many people do, it's like your first time. you're kind of listening to what the professional is saying in the room. And you're like, well, this professional is telling me to have my husband hold my But I think I'm wondering if I would have known to just like pop on all fours, I would have maybe been in a better position and maybe had a little bit more like strength to push that way versus like trying to push like just talking about this with someone recently on the podcast. When you're pushing on your back, you're literally pushing against gravity is where your pelvis is, you're trying to push up and out. Yeah. And so, yeah, it's just so wild that that has kind of become the standard. It's wild. And it's so funny because you learn all that, right? Yes. And you go into it knowing that. Yeah. But then you get there and it's like, needed my doula in that moment to say, rip your clothes off and I'm putting on all fours. otherwise, I probably in that moment still wouldn't have thought, even though I know that that's the most optimal position for a baby to come out because they come right out, you know? So. Yeah. And again, like with my first birth, I was kind of on my back and I was, did not have an epidural and I put, was pushing for a long time and I was not like connecting. wasn't feeling it like engaged with my pushes. And I remember saying to my midwife, like, should we try a different position? Cause I'd read about all this stuff. Yeah. Ready. was like, yeah, you know, I'm so knowledgeable. Right. Should we try another position? And she was like, no. And then I wasn't going to ask again. You know, because I was tired and a little scared. But yes, that's where a doula absolutely can be beneficial. That's so crazy, right? I thought we were all on the same page here. Yeah. But I guess it's, I don't know, it's interesting. That's very interesting that you would ask. Uh-huh. And they would keep you in a non-optimal birthing position. Yeah. Interesting. I know it was. Yeah. that's amazing that you have such like a smoother, dramatic in different ways, but smoother. Yeah. second experience. Like an adrenaline rush. And it is crazy, like when you have such a short labor. It's so crazy because it's not like a easy like a, it's not like you're going up a roller coaster. It's like you're there. Like it just hits so hard. So it's like so intense all of a sudden, but then it's not as long. And so you're like so grateful. Yeah, I know. I like personally having had both types, I think that I would prefer more intense in a shorter condensed amount of time. Even if it is a lot more all at once, just for me it was more manageable. Was your second the faster second one was very fast. Okay, that is so funny. Very fast. I think I would have pushed in a different position for my second, but it just happened so fast. You're like, don't even need to move. He's ready. He's ready to come. That's so cool. Then your recovery with her was... Easy peasy. Easy peasy. My mom plays a big part in because ⁓ comes and she just handles everything for me for, ⁓ know, ⁓ time was shorter. The first time was two weeks because I was like, I don't want you to leave. Like, how am going to do this by myself? You know, but then the second time you're ready to, you you've done it before. So she stayed for like a week the second time, like a little over a week. But I ⁓ Addie on, I like a Tuesday. No, I don't know. I went to the Georgia Aquarium a week. She was one week old. And I was like going to the Georgia Aquarium. know, like the second one is so different. It is. The first one, you're like in the house for a month and you're just, it's just a whirlwind. And the second one, I was like, all right, well, you want to go to the aquarium? Like, what are we going to do? I'm bored. You know? know. Well, and part of it is because you have this toddler that you have to still keep up with. Yes. And so, yeah, I don't know, but you do, you just go with the seconds. Yeah. so different. It feels so much less scary. It does. It really does. I'm like, what are the third and fourth leg? I think it's even easier. I know. We were talking about birth order before we got on the mic. And it's so clear, I feel like, in the way that you parent. We're all a little high strung with the first. And those firstborns tend to be a little high strung and perfectionist and responsible. And then everything is much more chill with the second. And the second tend to be a little more crazy and wild and free. ⁓ That's so funny. I know and the way Addie came is like so her personality. She is just like, let's go. You know, and I'm like, that's so fitting for you. I do feel like that often is the case that like however, how you were born just kind of fits your personality. Yeah. I love that. That's so cool. Birth is so cool. All of it. It's so fascinating. ⁓ before like you had your babies. Was birth something that you were interested in? And when your friend who was the first one to have a baby, were you super interested in finding out what it was like? And I don't know, what was your take on that? I think because my personality is since being a mom, I'm definitely both type A and type B. Same. Before being a mom, just so type B. Really? It's just like. All right, rock on, let's do it, whatever. And I remember telling people, people were like, are you nervous to have birth? And I'm like, to get birth with my first. And I was like, no, it's gonna be great. Let's do it. I love that. That was just, had always my personality and not super in the details. More because I'm like, it's gonna work out. I'm not gonna get myself, I'm not gonna learn all the things if it's, I I learned obviously about birth, but like. I don't know, I was just like, whatever, let's do it. I love that positivity. It was more of that. I needed it, considering how my birth ended up being. I'm glad I went in with that mindset. But yeah, I think I just have always been like, it's going to work out. Let's just do it and see how it goes. That's awesome. Has anyone else, you become like, and advocates is a strong word, but do you talk to people about your birth center experience and if anyone's ever interested in it? Yes, I'm very passionate now about natural births. I'm very much a believer in everything in life. That what you do and your choice is what's, you have made that choice and that's gonna be best for you. my choice is gonna be best for me and I'm never gonna judge a mom for choosing something that is different than what I've chosen because same with parenting. I'm like. We might parent differently, but like your mom, like you know exactly what your body needs, what your kids need, like all of that. So I'm never the type of person that's like, ⁓ you're into traditional medicine, like blah, blah, blah. But I am definitely big on sharing the benefits and not in a way that's like trying to convince somebody to do anything, but just like, I loved my experience. Like, even though it wasn't perfect, like. I loved that I was fully alert. I loved that my recovery was super easy because I wasn't drugged out. Yeah, I have a friend she's like, no, give me everything. Yeah, knock me out. And like, give me the baby when I wake up, you know, and I'm like, that's what you love. That's great. So but I am very passionate about like sharing my story and the benefits of it and how good it is like, how good I how beneficial I felt it was for me personally, if somebody feels the same. and wants to learn more, I'm like, oh my gosh, let's talk. I'll talk to you forever. Let's talk about it. Yes, I'm the same way. I completely agree. For me, that's why I think it's just so important to know yourself, know what you want and what you need, but also know your options. I think so many people think that there's one option. It's giving birth in a hospital with an epidural or home birth. A lot of people think it's one or two together. And there's so many variations in between. And yeah, I would just encourage people to just figure out what it is that would work best for them. And then obviously, birth is unpredictable. You don't always get what you want. No. But you can certainly try. Yes. That's another thing is you can plan all day long. But your birth story is going to be whatever it's going to end up being. I think that's another mental preparation is have your plan. Know that you're going to stick to these things. But also know. It might not happen that way and that's okay. It's all gonna work out. It's all gonna work out. I know think it's important to have your plan or your preferences as I like to say, but then kind of have your ⁓ B and C and D. If that happens then this, if this happens then that. Like a waterfall. ⁓ having an advocate with you. Whether it's your husband or your ⁓ or your best friend, somebody who knows the plan and is going to Advocate on your behalf. Because in that moment, you're just trying to make it through. You're not advocating. Unless you feel great. If you feel great, I love that for you. That's so amazing. ⁓ That's so great. If can advocate for yourself. I think it's harder to. Yeah. ⁓ I think a lot times, too, ⁓ people don't want to think about what might happen if things don't go to plan. Yeah. But that's an important part of it, too. And it's important to talk about that stuff with your birth partner or your husband or whoever it is, whoever is there to support you. It's important to talk about that stuff with them before you're in the moment. Yeah. Like I've had several friends who just kind of thought, oh, they're going to go in, you know, get an epidural and, and, know, and give birth to a baby. And then things kind of like take a different turn. Yeah. And then they're having these conversations with their partner about what they want or don't want, or maybe they're not even sure because they haven't thought about it until that moment. And so. Yeah, just it is important to think through all of that. Yeah. Yeah. And I have so many friends are like, Yeah, I think I'm going to try to go unmedicated. And I'm like, Oh, cool. Like, what are you doing to like prepare for that? They're like, Oh, no, I think I'm just gonna like try when I get there. And I'm like, Honey, what you're saying to me right now is you're about to go run a marathon without training. I if you have any inkling that you may want to go unmedicated, like you've got to train mentally and physically. And if you end up getting in there and you want to epidural, great. But like, you're going to want to prepare for it. Like you're not just going to go say, I'm going to run a marathon today and run a marathon. You know? I always say the exact same thing. Really? Yes. So funny. same thing. Like you wouldn't run a marathon without training. And like, yes, our bodies are designed to give birth. Totally. You know, ideally quote unquote. Yeah, totally. things you can do to improve your experience. Just because we can run doesn't mean we can go run 26 whatever point you want, or 43 miles. And so yeah, I totally agree. But on that note, what did you do to prepare? Other than the Bradley method, to get your husband kind of in the loop? Yeah, so my birth coach gave us all the different, like I did every night, did the different exercises. I really should remember, like cat cow I think was one I did every night. the stretch where you are stretching your whole pelvic floor, kind of like every night doing a specific type of squat. another ⁓ exercise and then that was my first one. I did a lot of the breathing training. She made me do like the ice in your hand training. I don't know that one. Yeah, it's like where you put an ice cube in your hand and you hold it tight and like you mentally try to like block out the paint like to try to mentally prepare for it because it actually is like really cold. You don't think it's going to be that cold and then you're like, ⁓ my gosh, wow, this is kind of painful. So she kind of did those kind of things to help me like mentally train and then with my husband too like find her relaxation points. And so like, he still does this and it's like a funny like pestering thing now, but he's like, let it fall off. If I'm stressed, he's like, let it all fall off. You know, like what he would do. And then for my second, I did all of that, but I did pelvic floor therapy. And then that was really helpful. I didn't know about that my first time around. I think every single person who wants to have a baby should do that before and after. I did not realize how important it was. It's amazing. And I think a lot of people, if they, first of I think a lot of people don't know about public floor therapy. if they do know, they think it's a postpartum thing. And I'm actually going to have a public floor therapist on soon. Oh, cool. And it'll probably be out by the time this episode comes out. But yes, there's so much you can do pre-pregnancy, during pregnancy, and post. But they can literally teach you how to push. before you have a baby and even with an epidural. And you build that muscle memory and it can make your pushing more effective when the time comes. Yeah. It's crazy. I doctor should recommend it. Everyone should do it. Especially too, like you said with the epidural because my friends that had the epidural, they had a hard time because you can't feel. Right. like you said, connect with the pushing. I'm just like, how is this not a requirement? I know. having a baby because it is so amazing. It really is. I know. Why are we not doing everything we can to optimize that experience? I know. I never had heard of it until my second time around. was like, wow, this should be widely known. completely agree. So yeah, that's we did. Well, I love it. I'm glad that you got both types of birth experiences. And I'm glad you didn't have the baby in the car. ⁓ literally, that is all I cared about. I was like, not on the highway. Just not on the highway. Yeah. And plan check. Dodge both bullets both times. So damn. Well, I always like to close by asking people to describe birth in three words, whatever comes to mind. ⁓ gosh. Okay. Exhilarating. ⁓ I like that. Empowering. I'm sure everybody says that. And, ⁓ gosh, like. just like endurance, mental durability. Like the endurance part is so important because it's so easy to wanna give up in that moment. And yeah. I agree. I was just talking to someone who said that she truly feels like birth is 80 % mental. I agree. I so agree. Because if you're not in it, like I'm very strong headed. And so I just, I, like I see why, things don't go your way in birth because it is hard mentally on you. Yes, you have to definitely be prepared for that mental aspect. I think people think it's just physical, but it's mental. Pregnancy is mental, birth is mental, postpartum is mental. Parenting is mental. it is. The second you see those lines. ⁓ on the pregnancy test baby. You better be strengthening that mind. You're in for a lifetime of mental endurance. that's so true. Well, thank you so much for being here today. Thanks for having me. This is so fun. It was so much fun chatting with you. I loved hearing your stories. All right. Well, you've been listening to the Arrivals podcast. Until next time. Yay. so fun. That was awesome. I love your voice. have such a