Latest / Deeply Well with Devi Brown / Meeting Your Inner Child

Transcript

Meeting Your Inner Child · Deeply Well with Devi Brown

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Speaker 1: Mm from grandmothers who whispered in their baby girl in
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Speaker 1: two fathers on dimly lit street corners, instructing young soldiers
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Speaker 1: to always keep their eyes open. You be queen, you
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Speaker 1: were fired. You will pass through centuries on the hands
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Speaker 1: of your daughters. They called you wisdom. Proverbs on the
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Speaker 1: backs of diamond eyed school children who growing into hymnals
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Speaker 1: recited by amethyst holding urban philosophers who recited neighborhood commandments
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Speaker 1: out of the windows of restored Alchemedo cheriots to keep
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Speaker 1: the warmth of their blood, be wise, be smart, being black,
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Speaker 1: Opal Brown courts bloodstone and prayer, be every form of
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Speaker 1: Jim se King told, scribe, scribe, told son, son, told wife,
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Speaker 1: wife told her daughter, and daughter told the ant us,
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Speaker 1: and the ancestors told me that you would come to
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Speaker 1: give wisdom. Thousands. They said you would come. Dropping Dropping Jim.
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Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode of The Dropping Jim's Podcast,
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Speaker 1: Episode thirty. I'm your host, Debbie Brown, and on today's show,
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Speaker 1: we are going to be focusing on how to meet
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Speaker 1: your inner child. I know a lot of people are
1:26
Speaker 1: starting to get more familiar with that vernacular that speaking
1:29
Speaker 1: of ourselves as that kind of little us versus the
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Speaker 1: current us. This work, though um that's being sprinkled around
1:39
Speaker 1: the Graham is some of the most powerful work that
1:44
Speaker 1: you can ever do on yourself. I've spent the last
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Speaker 1: two years deeply embroiled in meeting, healing, loving and accepting
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Speaker 1: all the versions of me that I've been so far,
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Speaker 1: everything that came before the point, and one of the
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Speaker 1: most difficult parts of this leg of my journey, but
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Speaker 1: also one of the most healing points of it, has
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Speaker 1: been really spending time engaging with the wounded little girl
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Speaker 1: that has lived inside of me. Little Debby, that's what
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Speaker 1: we'll call her for the rest of this episode. So
2:18
Speaker 1: take a moment right now before we get started, and
2:21
Speaker 1: let's get grounded together. This episode can potentially be a
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Speaker 1: little bit triggering, it can also be so deeply nourishing
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Speaker 1: and liberating. So let's just as we're listening, if it's comfortable,
2:32
Speaker 1: take a moment to take a deep breath in together,
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Speaker 1: in handing through your nose and exhaling. We'll do that
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Speaker 1: two more times together inhale and last breath together, eyes
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Speaker 1: gently closed. If it's comfortable, in hill and excel and
3:12
Speaker 1: just stay right there for a second. I still gently closed,
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Speaker 1: and I want you to just hold space for you
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Speaker 1: to invite into the room the beautiful little you and
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Speaker 1: whatever image you just saw of yourself. As I said that,
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Speaker 1: it's the perfect age. It's the perfect version of yourself
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Speaker 1: to work with. It's the piece of you that has
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Speaker 1: been wanting to be experienced and engaged with. So hold
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Speaker 1: in front of your mind right now, with your eyes
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Speaker 1: still gently closed, just natural breathing in and out. See
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Speaker 1: that version of you. And what was that version of
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Speaker 1: you called? Did you have a nickname at whatever age
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Speaker 1: you're experiencing right now, childhood nickname from you were friends,
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Speaker 1: something affirming, not languaging. That may have been teasing or minimizing.
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Speaker 1: Maybe you were just little blank, or maybe you had
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Speaker 1: a different nickname, but whatever is coming forward, let's just
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Speaker 1: plant that seed in our mind side that tiny version
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Speaker 1: of ourselves were visualizing right now at whatever age and
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Speaker 1: whatever that version of you was referred to as. Let's
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Speaker 1: plant that inner mind right now and we are going
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Speaker 1: to be spending time with them for the rest of
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Speaker 1: this show. All right, whenever it feels comfortable, you can
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Speaker 1: gently open your eyes back up, get back into whatever
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Speaker 1: multitasking you may be doing as you hear my voice,
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Speaker 1: all right, so that what you just experienced right now
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Speaker 1: is your inner child, and to quickly whatever comes forward first,
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Speaker 1: though there is healing to be done at every layer
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Speaker 1: and juncture of the journey, at every age, at every experience.
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Speaker 1: The version of you that may have popped forward in
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Speaker 1: your mind just now, that is the one that your
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Speaker 1: spirit wants you to begin with. So that may be
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Speaker 1: the one that needs a little more acknowledgment first before
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Speaker 1: you dive into other ages. So that version of you
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Speaker 1: has entered the room, and let's get let's get started.
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Speaker 1: So I first realized I needed to do some inner
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Speaker 1: child healing when it became clear to me that that
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Speaker 1: was the peace of my journey I had been avoiding.
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Speaker 1: I have been steeped into some of this uh self enrichment,
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Speaker 1: selfology work, this self discovery work for really specifically and
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Speaker 1: diligently the last ten years. So I do experience myself
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Speaker 1: as someone that has been on this journey since they
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Speaker 1: were born. Um. I can remember at really young ages
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Speaker 1: different observations I made about the world and about myself,
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Speaker 1: or different curiosities I had about feelings or why people behaved.
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Speaker 1: The way that they behaved. So I kind of view
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Speaker 1: different childhood moments as truly the beginning of my spiritual awakening.
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Speaker 1: And then I've been given a ton of curriculum since
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Speaker 1: then to work with to build upon. But when I
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Speaker 1: when I really started realizing some of the deeper work
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Speaker 1: I was doing, I'll never forget I had had this
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Speaker 1: big breakthrough in my life where I realized that I
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Speaker 1: was sabotaging myself and keeping myself from my own love
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Speaker 1: because of the way that I experienced my resilience. So
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Speaker 1: what I mean by that is I was driving and
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Speaker 1: I had this breakthrough. I was kind of walking myself
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Speaker 1: through a process of thoughts, and I'm always in my
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Speaker 1: friend groups considered the strong friend have been my whole life.
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Speaker 1: There's always been this perception of perhaps supernatural strength or
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Speaker 1: grace in me um, which is there, but I don't
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Speaker 1: always want to use it. Um I was. I was
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Speaker 1: really thinking about myself in that role that I was
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Speaker 1: kind of put into, and I was evaluating did I
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Speaker 1: still want to give that permission? Did I still want
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Speaker 1: to be showing up as that perception that other people
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Speaker 1: had of me? Or was I really craving an opportunity
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Speaker 1: to soften and an opportunity to extend my extend and
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Speaker 1: expand my heart into a space of receiving and being
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Speaker 1: on the receiving end of strength and support sometimes. So
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Speaker 1: as I was walking myself through that thought, the next
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Speaker 1: thing that came up for me was one of my
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Speaker 1: greatest breakthroughs about my identity and freeing myself from that
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Speaker 1: constriction which was my entire identity was built around, was
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Speaker 1: ailience that the way that I valued myself, the thing
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Speaker 1: that I took a lot of pride in, was not
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Speaker 1: just how perceived strong I was, but really that my
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Speaker 1: worth and my value was tied into how much pain
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Speaker 1: I could tolerate, how much pain I could feel but
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Speaker 1: still keep going. And when that breakthrough came to me,
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Speaker 1: for me, it was massive because I realized, first and foremost,
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Speaker 1: I don't want to live like that. I want to
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Speaker 1: have a life overflowing with joy and pleasure. I do
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Speaker 1: not want to be on the offensive constantly um rehearsing
8:40
Speaker 1: tragedy and waiting for the other shoot to drop, or
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Speaker 1: waiting for the moment that I'm going to have to
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Speaker 1: gear up to go to battle or be a warrior,
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Speaker 1: be strong, I was sick of it. So as I
8:51
Speaker 1: sat in that thought, Um, the next piece that came
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Speaker 1: up was how I envisioned myself now. So the way
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Speaker 1: that I experienced myself now, and by now, I mean
9:02
Speaker 1: when I was having this conversation in my car with
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Speaker 1: me about two years ago. Um, the way that I
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Speaker 1: was experiencing myself was with deep pride. Actually, I really
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Speaker 1: loved the version that I had become two years ago.
9:15
Speaker 1: I really loved who I was and the way that
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Speaker 1: I was showing up with myself. But then when I
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Speaker 1: thought about younger me, it was kind of like, you
9:25
Speaker 1: go away, you don't deserve to be a part of this.
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Speaker 1: So I had I had been compartmentalizing myself. I was
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Speaker 1: joyous and grateful for the woman I had become. I
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Speaker 1: was walking around like, Yeah, you have a ship. Look
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Speaker 1: at you doing it, doing the things right. Look at
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Speaker 1: you feeling good. Look at you, you know, having a
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Speaker 1: great life. But then if I thought of my childhood
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Speaker 1: or I thought of myself at different ages, it was
9:51
Speaker 1: kind of like go away. It was an irritation, it
9:56
Speaker 1: was a disappointment, it was a wanting to hide. And
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Speaker 1: when I looked at that and I realized that that's
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Speaker 1: how I was treating a child child me. It just
10:08
Speaker 1: became very clear that something in that had my healing
10:12
Speaker 1: written all over it, that something was in that that
10:15
Speaker 1: I needed to start getting curious about, and that there
10:18
Speaker 1: was freedom there for me. So the first thing that
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Speaker 1: I did, I got this amazing, amazing guidance from doctors
10:29
Speaker 1: Ron and Mary Holnick, who have a beautiful program that
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Speaker 1: they that they run around doing so much of this
10:34
Speaker 1: deep excavation work. And Dr Mary Holnick suggested to me,
10:40
Speaker 1: she said, get a picture of yourself, a picture that
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Speaker 1: perhaps would make you cringe if you saw it at
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Speaker 1: a certain age, right and put it in a beautiful frame,
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Speaker 1: and spend time with her every day. So that's what
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Speaker 1: I did. I found a picture of an age where
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Speaker 1: I probably would have not wanted anyone to see this picture,
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Speaker 1: where I was in deep judgment of myself for how
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Speaker 1: I looked, for what I experienced, for how I felt
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Speaker 1: about me. And I put it in a frame, and
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Speaker 1: I put it on the counter in my bathroom, right
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Speaker 1: under where I do my affirmations, and I forced myself
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Speaker 1: to look at her and speak life to her every
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Speaker 1: single day, And the first three weeks were excruciating. I
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Speaker 1: really resented it. I was really annoyed, I was really triggered.
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Speaker 1: And then I got down to more compassion. And when
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Speaker 1: I started looking at that little girl, I started seeing
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Speaker 1: my son, and I started speaking to her with the
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Speaker 1: same level of life that I would give my son,
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Speaker 1: or I would give any child that I saw on
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Speaker 1: the street, the same level of love and nurturance and
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Speaker 1: acceptance and non judgment that we give all children everywhere,
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Speaker 1: the reassurance, the support, the safety. I started speaking to
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Speaker 1: her like that, and so that sounded like me walking
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Speaker 1: up to that picture frame and saying, you are so beautiful,
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Speaker 1: you were so innately wise, you were so gifted, You're
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Speaker 1: so strong, You're so beautiful. You are loved, you are cherished,
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Speaker 1: you are safe, you are provided for, you are worthy,
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Speaker 1: you are enough. First couple of weeks, that was awkward,
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Speaker 1: and it was a little excruciating. A month in changed
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Speaker 1: my whole life, changed the entire way that I experienced myself,
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Speaker 1: and allowed me to really forgive myself for all of
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Speaker 1: the judgments I was putting on a child who didn't
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Speaker 1: have the ability to make her own choices, who was
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Speaker 1: given circumstances that she did not ask for and that
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Speaker 1: she did not control, and that she had no option
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Speaker 1: or choice in, and really celebrating her for surviving and
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Speaker 1: for showing up and for moving through the world anyway,
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Speaker 1: because the deepest truth of this, if anybody listening has
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Speaker 1: any level of separation from their tiny self and their childhood,
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Speaker 1: the deepest truth is that the only reason I'm here
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Speaker 1: in this moment is because she was amazing. No matter
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Speaker 1: what judgments I've had of little me, little Debby, she
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Speaker 1: was amazing, and she survived and she pulled on whatever
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Speaker 1: tools she had to to be here in this moment
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Speaker 1: as this version of me, and that deserves reverence, that
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Speaker 1: deserves love, that deserves respect. And now I've been walking
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Speaker 1: with that little me ever since, and it has changed everything.
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Speaker 1: And anytime I feel myself triggered, any traumas, any residue
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Speaker 1: rising through the surface, any old loops kind of replaying themselves,
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Speaker 1: I just look to spend more time with her and
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Speaker 1: make sure she's doing good and she's feeling good about herself,
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Speaker 1: whether that's in meditation, whether that's through my affirmations, or
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Speaker 1: whether that is me and that little picture frame being
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Speaker 1: diligent about the way I not only self care for
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Speaker 1: me now, but the way that I reparent myself from then.
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Speaker 1: So that is how I began to experience this work.
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Speaker 1: And my hope is in today's show to really get
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Speaker 1: your hearts open to exploring that version of you. And
14:47
Speaker 1: then we'll continue this conversation on the show, and we'll
14:49
Speaker 1: have other shows where we'll be able to really dive
14:52
Speaker 1: into this little bit more and have more activities around that.
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Speaker 1: So I want to start with talking about what is
14:58
Speaker 1: it that really creates this separation? You know, I believe
15:06
Speaker 1: that when it comes to us healing, and I imagine
15:09
Speaker 1: that every person listening to this show is committed to
15:13
Speaker 1: some degree to their own healing and their own nurturance
15:17
Speaker 1: of love. I believe that in an unhealthy relationship with
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Speaker 1: our inner child is the number one barrier that we
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Speaker 1: have up against receiving our own love. It is the
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Speaker 1: number one barrier that we must work to dissolve if
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Speaker 1: we want to become who we are called to be,
15:36
Speaker 1: and if we want to feel as healed and as
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Speaker 1: whole in this life as we deserve to be. So
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Speaker 1: what is inner child work? Well, Inner child work is
15:47
Speaker 1: also referred to as inner child healing, and it's a
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Speaker 1: way to address our needs that haven't been met as
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Speaker 1: children and heal any attachment wounds that we may have developed.
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Speaker 1: So we all have a younger part of ourselves that
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Speaker 1: was potentially not fully loved in the language name that
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Speaker 1: perhaps we needed or didn't have the experiences based on
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Speaker 1: so many outside factors that are conducive to the false
16:13
Speaker 1: American ideal that has always perpetuated in front of us.
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Speaker 1: And that's where a lot of the wounding comes from too.
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Speaker 1: It's when we come into space where we are looking
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Speaker 1: at our childhood and our family structure and holding it
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Speaker 1: up for comparison against a false ideal that has never
16:28
Speaker 1: been true for anyone. We create in ourselves a sense
16:31
Speaker 1: of lack, a sense of not enoughness, and a sense
16:35
Speaker 1: of what we had access to not being as great
16:42
Speaker 1: as everyone else's. So something we talked about in an
16:45
Speaker 1: episode most recently, UM was this phrasing that I had
16:51
Speaker 1: heard that really shifted myself, really shifted the way I
16:54
Speaker 1: thought about childhood me and I was asking an amazing,
16:59
Speaker 1: brilliant psychologist friend. I said, why, why is the fight
17:04
Speaker 1: of our life as adults on a journey to remember
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Speaker 1: that our whole. Why is it the fight of our
17:11
Speaker 1: life to release this false narrative that we aren't worthy,
17:17
Speaker 1: that we're not enough. And what she said to me
17:21
Speaker 1: really floored me. She said, well, a child has to
17:25
Speaker 1: blame or it will go insane. And so when I
17:29
Speaker 1: asked for further clarification on what that meant, you know,
17:34
Speaker 1: she said, well, when you're a child, your only understanding
17:40
Speaker 1: of God is really your parents, right, they are our
17:43
Speaker 1: first world. Your mother is very literally your first world.
17:46
Speaker 1: You are grown inside of her. You interworld into the
17:51
Speaker 1: world through her entrance through her portal. Right. And when
17:57
Speaker 1: we are in a home system, our home is really
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Speaker 1: all we know of the world, and maybe a tiny
18:02
Speaker 1: handful of a couple other places, school of family members
18:05
Speaker 1: Alice Park, right, But our world is small. It's small,
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Speaker 1: and there's just not the ability for a child to
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Speaker 1: understand that the world is bigger than your immediate circumstance
18:16
Speaker 1: or your immediate structure. And so when our parents are
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Speaker 1: our God in that way, our first experience of the world,
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Speaker 1: it sets the tone for how we receive ourselves, and
18:26
Speaker 1: it sets the tone for how we will feel about
18:30
Speaker 1: the world, and so much of the way we feel
18:33
Speaker 1: about our faith. So much of the way we feel
18:35
Speaker 1: about our experience in life now is a rooted and
18:39
Speaker 1: how we feel about ourselves and how we have processed
18:43
Speaker 1: and experienced all of the mechanics of what our life
18:48
Speaker 1: has looked like. Right, So, from that space of a
18:53
Speaker 1: child blaming or it will go insane physiologically, biologically if
19:01
Speaker 1: you were to admit to yourself as a child that
19:05
Speaker 1: there was something wrong with your parents, that maybe they
19:08
Speaker 1: were unsafe or ill equipped, or didn't have the healing
19:13
Speaker 1: or the emotional intelligence, or were raising you through their woundedness,
19:18
Speaker 1: which oftentimes shows up as unprocessed emotions, as rage, as
19:24
Speaker 1: a violence, as excessive discipline, or withholding or emotional isolation,
19:30
Speaker 1: or even just stringent rules and regulations withholding of joy,
19:37
Speaker 1: you would go into as a child fight or flight response.
19:40
Speaker 1: Because you develop mentally, emotionally, and in terms of language,
19:46
Speaker 1: you don't have any foundations set yet everything is being
19:49
Speaker 1: learned as it's being experienced, and without emotional languaging and
19:53
Speaker 1: without a loving, supportive structure to move through questions and
19:57
Speaker 1: life processing, we have to think that it's something wrong
20:04
Speaker 1: with us, because if it were to be something wrong
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Speaker 1: with our parental structure, or our households, or the world
20:10
Speaker 1: that we know. We would not be able to make
20:13
Speaker 1: sense of anything. We would be in a constant state
20:17
Speaker 1: of fight or flight, which could kill us because we
20:19
Speaker 1: would deem everything is unsafe and we don't know the
20:23
Speaker 1: world is any bigger than that small circumstance, So it
20:27
Speaker 1: would become our tiny prison right. And then when we
20:34
Speaker 1: come into a space of blaming of self, that's how
20:39
Speaker 1: we're able to get through. It's actually our at that age,
20:42
Speaker 1: tool of survival. It's how we're able to keep going
20:45
Speaker 1: by believing, well, it's something that is not quite enough
20:49
Speaker 1: about me, there is something that is not quite fully
20:54
Speaker 1: lovable about me, there is something unworthy about me, and
21:03
Speaker 1: that's why. And so then it turns into a pattern
21:07
Speaker 1: very often of people pleasing of codependency, of this false
21:13
Speaker 1: ideal that love, that respect, that support has to be earned,
21:19
Speaker 1: that there's a performance quality to the way we have
21:24
Speaker 1: to be with other people in order to have them
21:27
Speaker 1: in our lives, in order to feel safe, in order
21:29
Speaker 1: to feel enough. So inner child work is the work
21:34
Speaker 1: of going back to that youngest, most tender, most wonderable
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Speaker 1: version of you and reprogramming and reparenting and re teaching
21:48
Speaker 1: how to experience the world and ourselves and how to
21:51
Speaker 1: go back through each one of those experiences we had
21:54
Speaker 1: as a child that changed us and heal it and
21:58
Speaker 1: dissolve it and removing need judgment that we began to
22:02
Speaker 1: form about ourselves when that happened. So in our child
22:06
Speaker 1: work is really deeply rooted in lots of self forgiveness,
22:11
Speaker 1: lots of research and interpretation and understanding about the effects
22:16
Speaker 1: that family structures and societal structures have on how we
22:20
Speaker 1: feel about us. And I know it sounds like a lot.
22:23
Speaker 1: If you're listening right now, I know you're like, oh,
22:25
Speaker 1: good God, more work. But this work, this work is
22:33
Speaker 1: the work that really leads to mastery, and it really
22:36
Speaker 1: leads to ease, and it really leads to such a firm,
22:39
Speaker 1: strong foundation and access to the tools needed that will
22:43
Speaker 1: allow you to move through everything else in your spiritual curriculum.
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Speaker 1: Everything else you'll experience here with grace and with ease
22:51
Speaker 1: and with joy and with a connection to your original innocence.
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Speaker 1: I of it. I love inner child work. So meeting
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Speaker 1: your inner child, I think first it's really important to
23:08
Speaker 1: take a valuation of yourself and see what are some
23:12
Speaker 1: signs that maybe showing up that your inner child needs healing.
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Speaker 1: So some of the signs can look like feeling highly
23:21
Speaker 1: reactive to things that are going on. We can notice
23:24
Speaker 1: when our wounded inner child appears in our daily lives
23:27
Speaker 1: when you might find yourself being very reactive to situations
23:31
Speaker 1: or feeling unreasonably irritated or detached from things. So if
23:36
Speaker 1: something is coming up and it's saying like you're just
23:39
Speaker 1: noticing that there's charge in your chest about it, but
23:42
Speaker 1: it doesn't actually seem like a big deal, it's not
23:45
Speaker 1: actually something that is affecting you tangibly, it's important to
23:50
Speaker 1: see that reactiveness. It's important to watch out for that
23:53
Speaker 1: warning sign of maybe taking things out of proportion or
23:58
Speaker 1: feeling easily reject did right, Like maybe someone doesn't answer
24:02
Speaker 1: you back with the tone that you wanted and now
24:06
Speaker 1: you feel rejected by it, or you feel like it
24:10
Speaker 1: is somehow in a front, or it's a challenge about you.
24:14
Speaker 1: That is a sign of your inner child needing some healing,
24:17
Speaker 1: needing to be met and loved a little bit more.
24:20
Speaker 1: Another sign would be sometimes it can manifest itself as
24:23
Speaker 1: overvaluing independence. So that could be like um. Telling yourself
24:29
Speaker 1: that you don't need anyone, that you don't need help.
24:34
Speaker 1: Is anybody listening experience with themselves that someone offers help
24:39
Speaker 1: like oh here, let me get that for you, or
24:41
Speaker 1: oh oh day you go oh no, no, no, I
24:42
Speaker 1: got it, I'll do it. That's a trauma response. Not
24:46
Speaker 1: being able to receive. Telling yourself that everything has to
24:51
Speaker 1: be done alone, that everything is on your shoulders because
24:54
Speaker 1: that is some of the experience you've had. That's a
24:57
Speaker 1: trauma response, and that is a sign that you're inner
25:00
Speaker 1: child could be loved a little more fully. Another sign
25:04
Speaker 1: would be destructive coping behaviors, and that can look like
25:07
Speaker 1: consuming too much alcohol, buying things, being really connected to
25:13
Speaker 1: consumerism and thinking that the more you have equates to
25:17
Speaker 1: your value, or if you can be perceived or be
25:20
Speaker 1: held in a certain kind of way that that equates
25:23
Speaker 1: your value and your worth. It can be sexual addictions
25:29
Speaker 1: or just being very overly sexualized but not in a
25:32
Speaker 1: way that feels authentically internally empowering. You know. Um. It
25:38
Speaker 1: can be if you are cheating a lot in relationships,
25:41
Speaker 1: or if you are betraying your friends or your partner
25:46
Speaker 1: or yourself. That is a destructing coping destructive coping behavior
25:52
Speaker 1: of how you are acting out because your inner child
25:55
Speaker 1: is unhealed. Gambling over consumption of food on health the
26:00
Speaker 1: foods chronic for ecrastination, you know, just not getting things done,
26:06
Speaker 1: but not really knowing why you're holding yourself and back
26:09
Speaker 1: that way, or why you are self sabotaging in that way.
26:15
Speaker 1: Those are destructive coping mechanisms based on an unhealed inner child.
26:20
Speaker 1: Another one would be poor emotional and poor mental health,
26:24
Speaker 1: so that can manifest sometimes as depression, not fairly motivated
26:28
Speaker 1: about anything, even the things that you know you potentially
26:32
Speaker 1: should be excited about or other people are excited about, um,
26:36
Speaker 1: having troubled difficulties, having fluctuating weight up and down, um,
26:42
Speaker 1: not being able to be fully productive at work, or
26:45
Speaker 1: having anxiety, not wanting sex or wanting excessive sex, or
26:52
Speaker 1: you know. There's many different ways that this kind of
26:54
Speaker 1: imbalance can manifest, but the best way to check it
26:58
Speaker 1: out is to see do I feel aligned? Do I
27:02
Speaker 1: have the ability to regulate my emotions or experience them?
27:06
Speaker 1: Do I give myself permission to experience my emotions fully
27:11
Speaker 1: or to say them out loud to myself and others? Really, really,
27:14
Speaker 1: important to look at that. And another big sign, and
27:17
Speaker 1: this is how I think most of us come to
27:19
Speaker 1: the understanding that our inner child needs a little bit
27:22
Speaker 1: of love is around repeating patterns in your relationships, and
27:27
Speaker 1: that can be work that can be home. Most often
27:30
Speaker 1: it's found in your romantic partnerships or relationships, or in
27:33
Speaker 1: your own parenting style. But when you start to notice
27:36
Speaker 1: that patterns are repeated, maybe it's a narrative that you
27:39
Speaker 1: told yourself that you're betrayed or you've been abandoned, and
27:43
Speaker 1: now you see that showing up, or you perceive that
27:46
Speaker 1: in all of your interactions, or that people don't really
27:49
Speaker 1: see you um and you see that showing up. Or
27:52
Speaker 1: maybe you continue to be in relationship with someone that
27:56
Speaker 1: mirrors a behavior of your parents, whether that was is
28:00
Speaker 1: perhaps a withholding or a punishment um or creating a
28:06
Speaker 1: structure where you felt you had to earn attention or appreciation.
28:12
Speaker 1: And so when I say all of these different uh
28:16
Speaker 1: signs that you can connect with that your inner child
28:19
Speaker 1: needs healing, it's really important to know that none of
28:23
Speaker 1: this is your fault, and you don't have to judge
28:25
Speaker 1: yourself for any of this. You don't have to start
28:28
Speaker 1: evaluating yourself and then judge it as what am I
28:31
Speaker 1: doing wrong? I need to fix me. You know, all
28:34
Speaker 1: of the work that we do in ourselves, all of
28:36
Speaker 1: it inner child work and everything else, all of it
28:40
Speaker 1: is in service to us remembering our wholeness. We are
28:43
Speaker 1: not fixing ourselves. We are not these broken things that
28:48
Speaker 1: are in constant need of being glued back together. In truth,
28:53
Speaker 1: we are just doing the work so that we can
28:56
Speaker 1: remember the innate wholeness that we entered the world with
29:01
Speaker 1: before everything else gotten the way, before someone told us
29:05
Speaker 1: we were someone else, before we were in a system,
29:09
Speaker 1: before we were trained, before we took on and started
29:12
Speaker 1: mimicking some of the emotional illiteracy of the adults that
29:20
Speaker 1: we knew in our life, before we started subduing ourselves
29:23
Speaker 1: and our healing. That's all we're doing is just observing
29:27
Speaker 1: and then trying to reset and reprogram to our inherent
29:32
Speaker 1: innate worthiness that is always there, that is always available
29:37
Speaker 1: to us. And so Rising Woman dot Com actually has
29:57
Speaker 1: this really beautiful um access to information on inner child
30:03
Speaker 1: work and healing trauma. And Susan Anderson, who is the
30:06
Speaker 1: author of a Journey from Abandonment to Healing I love
30:09
Speaker 1: the explanation of what that inner child looks and feels
30:13
Speaker 1: like that she gives. So the inner child, the little you,
30:16
Speaker 1: is tender and emotional. Your inner child is the most
30:21
Speaker 1: innocent part of you, the part that really believed in
30:26
Speaker 1: full possibility in each moment, in imagination and safety. It's
30:31
Speaker 1: all about your personal feelings and the primal needs inside
30:35
Speaker 1: of you that need to be met. So that piece
30:39
Speaker 1: of you is really deep feeling, really sensitive, curious, creative, playful,
30:46
Speaker 1: you know, the kid that just wants to know and
30:48
Speaker 1: learn and explore all the things that we should so
30:52
Speaker 1: freely be able to do, especially as children. The one
30:55
Speaker 1: that desires connection. When I even say that, I imagine
30:59
Speaker 1: my little son and always running up to me and
31:01
Speaker 1: like pulling me down to come down to his height
31:04
Speaker 1: and just cutting my hand, my face in his hands
31:07
Speaker 1: and looking at me. You know, that's how we kind
31:09
Speaker 1: of connect with one another every day. And so that
31:13
Speaker 1: that desire to be seen and to see, to have
31:18
Speaker 1: intimacy and safety, to be open minded, and to be
31:22
Speaker 1: an expression of your feelings, you know, like that big
31:25
Speaker 1: toddler energy of I'm angry, you know, yelling, throwing a
31:30
Speaker 1: tantra when needed really testing out some of your boundaries.
31:35
Speaker 1: Feeling sad, being able to cry, and then feeling exuberantly joyful.
31:39
Speaker 1: Those are all the deepest pieces of little you. And
31:45
Speaker 1: then if you're a wounded inner child, you know, when
31:48
Speaker 1: we have that wounding, it's uh, it's really connected to
31:52
Speaker 1: the response to emotional or psychological neglect. And I really
31:57
Speaker 1: want to preface this because I do know that it
32:00
Speaker 1: not only are some people listening to this and it
32:02
Speaker 1: begins sometimes in uncomfortable observation and questioning of your parents,
32:09
Speaker 1: but I also know that I have some parents listening
32:11
Speaker 1: um that might be taking on a little guilt and
32:14
Speaker 1: shame for their style of parenting with their children. It's
32:17
Speaker 1: so important for each of us to know. And I
32:19
Speaker 1: know that in some scenarios this will not feel natural,
32:24
Speaker 1: but it's so so important for us to know that
32:27
Speaker 1: every generation that came before us, they did the best
32:31
Speaker 1: they could with the tools they had, and especially if
32:35
Speaker 1: there was ancestral trauma woven into that, mixed in with
32:39
Speaker 1: systemic racism, mixed in with the patriarchy, mixed in with
32:44
Speaker 1: the minimization of women, the marginalization of black and brown communities,
32:51
Speaker 1: you know, all the layering that goes on that it
32:54
Speaker 1: is so important to stress that even in some of
33:00
Speaker 1: the most painful experiences, UM, the majority of adults were
33:09
Speaker 1: always trying their best, and they can only raise us
33:13
Speaker 1: and love us and nurture us from the most healed
33:17
Speaker 1: parts of themselves. And so many generations before ours never
33:22
Speaker 1: had the luxury or the privilege of healing anything, never
33:26
Speaker 1: had the access. We can open Instagram right now and
33:30
Speaker 1: I can go directly to a psychology page and find
33:34
Speaker 1: a beautiful explanation or unpacking and understanding of my deepest wounds.
33:39
Speaker 1: Right No one had access to that before, no one there.
33:43
Speaker 1: There was barely therapy before, let alone free online. There
33:47
Speaker 1: was no online, There was no like minded communities for
33:51
Speaker 1: the most part, you know, in a mainstream way, there
33:54
Speaker 1: was no tribe in a mainstream way for healing. This
33:58
Speaker 1: is all new, and this is all such a luxury
34:01
Speaker 1: for each of us. So it is important as we
34:03
Speaker 1: do this work. A lot is going to come up
34:06
Speaker 1: as you're on this journey of healing your inner child. UM.
34:09
Speaker 1: But really, really, if you can push to stay in
34:12
Speaker 1: a space of compassion for yourself and also for the
34:16
Speaker 1: adults in your life, UM, none of this has been
34:18
Speaker 1: easy for anyone, So I just wanted to sprinkle that
34:22
Speaker 1: in there. Um. But you know, the wounded inner child,
34:25
Speaker 1: a response to emotional or psychological neglect can look and
34:28
Speaker 1: feel like a deep seated belief that you are broken,
34:32
Speaker 1: a deep seated belief that you are broken, a fear
34:35
Speaker 1: of abandonment and a fear of a loss of love.
34:39
Speaker 1: And sometimes that can look like maybe staying with a
34:42
Speaker 1: partner for too long when you're not being treated well
34:45
Speaker 1: because you're chasing how you first felt with them, or
34:48
Speaker 1: you were just trying to get them to value you again,
34:52
Speaker 1: and so you're doing everything you can. You are performing,
34:55
Speaker 1: you are contorting, you are manipulating, you were moving in
34:58
Speaker 1: hopes of having a return of whatever you are calling love.
35:02
Speaker 1: In that moment, that's wounded in her child, feeling insecure,
35:07
Speaker 1: having low self esteem, loss of self, and an attempt
35:10
Speaker 1: to gain approval from others. That's that self betrayal where
35:14
Speaker 1: you say yes when you wanted to say no. Or
35:18
Speaker 1: you know, um, you are in performance in front of
35:22
Speaker 1: other people, hoping that they will be pleased, hoping that
35:25
Speaker 1: they will like you, hoping that they will see you,
35:27
Speaker 1: hoping that they will receive and appreciate you. Wounded in
35:31
Speaker 1: her child also manifests as being fearful of setting boundaries
35:36
Speaker 1: for yourself for your own healthy protection, and being fearful
35:41
Speaker 1: of saying no. And it's also seeking instant gratification through
35:46
Speaker 1: other substances like shopping or distractions, sex, drugs, liquor, or procrastination.
35:53
Speaker 1: So these are all just useful to look at to observe,
35:56
Speaker 1: do not be in judgment of yourself, but just say
36:00
Speaker 1: I do do that. Oh wow, that's interesting. Yeah, I
36:04
Speaker 1: noticed my chest gets really tight when I'm confronted with
36:09
Speaker 1: fill in the blank from your own experience, and it's
36:12
Speaker 1: just noticing. It's just really building up the fortitude and
36:16
Speaker 1: the courage to be with yourself even when you don't
36:19
Speaker 1: understand yourself, even when you feel in judgment of yourself,
36:23
Speaker 1: and gifting yourself with the ability to release that. So,
36:28
Speaker 1: now let me anchor this conversation and how I was
36:31
Speaker 1: experiencing myself when I would open up photo albums and
36:35
Speaker 1: I'd see pictures of little me. For whatever reason, I
36:38
Speaker 1: created a narrative about my young self that I was
36:41
Speaker 1: very unlovable, that I was very unwanted, that I was neglected,
36:46
Speaker 1: and that I was an afterthought for all of the
36:48
Speaker 1: adults in my life, that I was the burden, that
36:52
Speaker 1: I was the piece that was always um there was
36:57
Speaker 1: no time for, or didn't really matter. I felt like
37:01
Speaker 1: I didn't have access to the things that other young
37:03
Speaker 1: people had access, that I didn't have the nurturance that
37:06
Speaker 1: I saw other people have. And again, so much of
37:08
Speaker 1: this can totally just be tied to my perception from
37:13
Speaker 1: my lack of understanding of the world, and also just
37:16
Speaker 1: a lot of bullying I was doing them myself over
37:21
Speaker 1: the years, right, Because the deeper truth now that I'm
37:24
Speaker 1: in a healed space with minner child, is that she
37:27
Speaker 1: was amazing and so deep, so cerebral, so funny, so
37:32
Speaker 1: emotionally intelligent, so thoughtful, so kind, so investigative, so beautiful,
37:40
Speaker 1: so sweet, so funny. You know, but based on all
37:44
Speaker 1: of the experiences and based on you know, many of
37:47
Speaker 1: the ways our parents experienced themselves and mirror self love.
37:55
Speaker 1: It changes things. It changes the way we experience, look,
37:59
Speaker 1: see love, all of the things with us. So the
38:04
Speaker 1: old me was looking back at that little girl, little me,
38:06
Speaker 1: little Dervy, with so much judgment. I'd be like, why
38:10
Speaker 1: was she so disheveled in all these pictures. Why didn't
38:12
Speaker 1: anyone ever care enough about her to do her hair?
38:15
Speaker 1: Why didn't anyone ever care enough about her to not
38:18
Speaker 1: put her and hand me down clothes or in you know,
38:22
Speaker 1: adult clothes, Like why why wasn't she given access to
38:27
Speaker 1: looking and feeling and being able to behave like a child.
38:32
Speaker 1: That is the way I experienced myself. So a lot
38:35
Speaker 1: of my reprogramming and reparenting and nurturance of little Dervy
38:40
Speaker 1: is just rooted in affirming her and inviting her into
38:44
Speaker 1: the to my life now and inviting her into the
38:47
Speaker 1: conversations I have now, and feeling grateful for her, really
38:52
Speaker 1: looking at that little girl with reverence, because if she
38:55
Speaker 1: didn't plow through, I would not be here. If she
38:58
Speaker 1: didn't have enough inside of herself to keep going and
39:04
Speaker 1: to keep seeking and to keep being curious, I would
39:08
Speaker 1: not be here in this moment. So I want to
39:11
Speaker 1: introduce to you guys now this beautiful um archetype that
39:14
Speaker 1: was first theorized by psychoanalyst Dr Carl Young, and it's
39:18
Speaker 1: called the Divine Child archetype, and it's a series of
39:22
Speaker 1: archetypes that are representative of milestones, in this process of
39:26
Speaker 1: being able to really be in the individual ation of
39:30
Speaker 1: yourself and UM. It outlines his theory of what the
39:33
Speaker 1: divine child is. So a divine child and you guys
39:36
Speaker 1: know how I feel about the word divine. Um. Divine
39:40
Speaker 1: child archetypes and characteristics and traits can really look like
39:44
Speaker 1: the divine child is both helpless and powerful at the
39:47
Speaker 1: same time. So instead of looking at ourselves as weak
39:50
Speaker 1: or somehow minimized, UM, we're able to stand in the
39:53
Speaker 1: fullness of like, yeah, you take on this helpless characteristic
39:56
Speaker 1: because you are learning how to receive it is how
39:59
Speaker 1: you are shown and what being nurturing is, so that
40:02
Speaker 1: you can then share that with yourself and with future generations,
40:06
Speaker 1: but also recognizing the power that you actually really held
40:11
Speaker 1: and magnetize within yourself. At these ages, the helplessness comes
40:15
Speaker 1: from the fact that it's youth ensures that it's still
40:19
Speaker 1: reliant on the adult or a more mature influence around them.
40:23
Speaker 1: But you're all powerful because that same youth and vitality
40:27
Speaker 1: make you the center of attention all around. So the
40:30
Speaker 1: oohs and ahs and oh yeah, do that dance, so
40:33
Speaker 1: you know all of the ways in which you can
40:34
Speaker 1: show up and be applauded and really celebrated as a child.
40:37
Speaker 1: That's the power, and that the attention has mutual benefits,
40:41
Speaker 1: both enabling the divine child to flourish, but also bringing
40:44
Speaker 1: to the parent figure a sense of pride and achievement,
40:47
Speaker 1: which benefits them too. And so much of the healing
40:50
Speaker 1: comes around that too. Write like really evaluating how much
40:54
Speaker 1: of my decision making is me trying to make my
40:57
Speaker 1: parents happy or proud or get them to notice or
41:01
Speaker 1: recognize me or be at peace with me, and how
41:04
Speaker 1: much of it is really rooted in what my own
41:07
Speaker 1: desires and what my own needs are, and what my
41:09
Speaker 1: own personal trajectory on this earth is and my own
41:13
Speaker 1: soul mission. So just observing and just looking at those
41:17
Speaker 1: things is so important, And so even just experiencing yourself
41:22
Speaker 1: as you begin to meet little you and engage with
41:25
Speaker 1: little you and call little you forward, really experiencing little
41:30
Speaker 1: you as a divine child, and perhaps calling yourself that
41:34
Speaker 1: you divine, little you, divine, little DEVI, divine, sacred child.
41:41
Speaker 1: That's a lot of the languaging I use with my son.
41:44
Speaker 1: He is called divine constantly, you know, I call I
41:47
Speaker 1: call my son a sacred child, A beautiful boy, He's
41:51
Speaker 1: a gorgeous boy. I say those words to him. I
41:54
Speaker 1: want to fill him with that level of not just compliment,
41:58
Speaker 1: but authentic empower it from the inside out. Give him
42:01
Speaker 1: a taste of how to experience himself as the grandest,
42:06
Speaker 1: most fullest version of himself. So really, maybe lend some
42:10
Speaker 1: of that language to you as you are on this journey. So,
42:13
Speaker 1: inner child, this is your experience meeting that little you,
42:18
Speaker 1: and I just really invite you to spend some time
42:21
Speaker 1: before we come back together again to really just start observing.
42:25
Speaker 1: And we'll have another episode moving forward that's really rooted
42:28
Speaker 1: in how to begin the steps of healing your inner child,
42:31
Speaker 1: which is such beautiful work. And trust me, you are
42:34
Speaker 1: ready for it, and you're capable, and you're able and
42:36
Speaker 1: you're equipped. But today let's sit here. Let's sit here
42:42
Speaker 1: and just offer yourself the opportunity until we come back
42:44
Speaker 1: to this conversation to meet yourself more deeply exactly right there.
42:49
Speaker 1: So I invite you, as your soul work for this episode,
42:52
Speaker 1: to take some time go through some albums. I want
42:56
Speaker 1: you to look out for pictures of you at different
42:58
Speaker 1: ages where you either felt really, really good about you.
43:03
Speaker 1: Pull those pictures and pictures where you feel in judgment
43:07
Speaker 1: of you. You know, maybe a photo that would be
43:09
Speaker 1: considered awkward by some or photo that maybe brings to
43:15
Speaker 1: light a hardship that you had at that time, whether
43:18
Speaker 1: that was in school or in your household or whatever
43:21
Speaker 1: the wounding may maybe and where it may lie, and
43:24
Speaker 1: bring that picture forward and just create a little collection
43:28
Speaker 1: and start spending time with that collection of photos. Find
43:31
Speaker 1: one to put in a frame. You can always switch
43:33
Speaker 1: it out later. Don't overthink it. But find a photo,
43:36
Speaker 1: put it in a frame, Put it near your affirmations,
43:38
Speaker 1: put it near your sacred space, put it somewhere you'll
43:41
Speaker 1: see it, and spend time with that version of you,
43:45
Speaker 1: and just start noticing, without judgment, Just start noticing, how
43:53
Speaker 1: are you feeling about that little you, what's coming up.
43:56
Speaker 1: There's no judgment. If it comes up that I really
43:59
Speaker 1: don't like this and I've uncomfortable and I don't like them,
44:02
Speaker 1: that's okay because you're noticing. You're noticing where those triggers
44:05
Speaker 1: are lying. You're noticing what your barriers are, You're noticing
44:09
Speaker 1: the boundaries you've given yourself to your own love. So
44:13
Speaker 1: we're just noticing and take some time to write down
44:18
Speaker 1: some thoughts. Just start with some bullet points. If it
44:22
Speaker 1: feels comfortable, free form right about it for an hour
44:25
Speaker 1: or so. We talked about this a lot actually in
44:27
Speaker 1: my Karma Gang community on Carman Gang dot org and
44:30
Speaker 1: on there. I have another tier of our community that's
44:32
Speaker 1: called the Mastery Collective, and we just did a big
44:35
Speaker 1: eleven week shed challenge around spending time with their inner child.
44:39
Speaker 1: And so that comes with quite a bit of surrender
44:46
Speaker 1: and journaling, uh, and just really willing to witness yourself.
44:53
Speaker 1: So that is your soul work. Start looking through those pictures,
44:56
Speaker 1: identify a few that you want to work with. Start
44:59
Speaker 1: calling ling that photo by the name you were known
45:01
Speaker 1: at in that time, and sending and sharing love and
45:05
Speaker 1: any thoughts that come up. There is no good or bad.
45:07
Speaker 1: Any thoughts that come up, start writing them down, start exploring,
45:12
Speaker 1: start getting curious about yourself. Be a scholar of you.
45:18
Speaker 1: Let's start documenting. Let's start researching. Your life is worthy.
45:22
Speaker 1: Your story deserves to be known and told. You deserve
45:25
Speaker 1: to be seen. You are seen, and you've always been enough,
45:30
Speaker 1: and you've always been worthy, and you've always been lovable
45:33
Speaker 1: and you've always been likable. I think I'm gonna end
45:38
Speaker 1: this show with UM sharing with you guys some audio
45:42
Speaker 1: of the affirmations I do with my son each night.
45:45
Speaker 1: So if it feels comfortable, I want you to listen
45:49
Speaker 1: to this and listen back as many times as you wish.
45:52
Speaker 1: You can gently close your eyes and you can imagine
45:55
Speaker 1: that these words are being said to you as the
45:58
Speaker 1: young version of yourself, and really sit and feel and
46:02
Speaker 1: savor how it would have felt if you heard those
46:05
Speaker 1: things as a child. And alternatively, you can also listen
46:09
Speaker 1: to the affirmations I do every night with Quest since
46:12
Speaker 1: he was born, as we get ready for bed, putting
46:16
Speaker 1: the pajamas and doing the nighttime routine. You can also
46:21
Speaker 1: just spend some time with perhaps doing that for the
46:23
Speaker 1: child in your life. You know, maybe it can be
46:26
Speaker 1: UM a nice little storyboard for the way that you
46:31
Speaker 1: want to start leaning some beautiful foundation, some new traditions
46:37
Speaker 1: of how you experience and treat the children in your life.
46:40
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna go ahead and let that play. Now.
46:43
Speaker 1: I love you, I'll see you next episode. Peace, okay, Mom,
46:51
Speaker 1: Daddy loves you, God loves you, and you love you.
46:57
Speaker 1: Quest loves and accepts himself. You are filled with joint
47:04
Speaker 1: enthusiasm for yourself in your life. You are safely or protective.
47:11
Speaker 1: You are provided for. You are covered in God's grace.
47:15
Speaker 1: You are perfectly designed. You are loved and lovable. You
47:20
Speaker 1: are valued and valuable. You are cherished and how that
47:26
Speaker 1: is precious by the people your life. You are worthy,
47:33
Speaker 1: You're worthy, your whole realthy. You're worthy, you are limitless.
47:43
Speaker 1: You are pure potentiality. You're so smart ef You're so
47:49
Speaker 1: communicative and brilliant and intelligent, real and worthy. You're creative,
47:58
Speaker 1: so expansive. You are discerning and rational. You are loving.
48:08
Speaker 1: You have a huge, open, loving heart. You are thoughtful
48:13
Speaker 1: and caring and so kind. You're highly intuitive. You are
48:18
Speaker 1: deeply connected. You can hear God's voice clearly in your life.
48:25
Speaker 1: You are wise. You are deeply connected to your mission
48:29
Speaker 1: and your purpose for this life. You are perfect health.
48:36
Speaker 1: You will wake up in perfect health the self perfect health.
48:41
Speaker 1: That's right. I'm so grateful for you. Mm hmm, I'm
48:47
Speaker 1: so grateful for questions. I love and let's do your prayers?
48:54
Speaker 1: We say what do we say? Dear God, Dear God,
49:03
Speaker 1: thank you for blessing us. Thank you, for loving us,
49:08
Speaker 1: Thank you for your protection, thank you for having us,
49:11
Speaker 1: your grace and all your abundance. We're so grateful, and
49:15
Speaker 1: we praise your name. Amen, and what else we say?
49:21
Speaker 1: Mommy promises I will always be here to love, protect
49:24
Speaker 1: and support you, and I will always give you the
49:28
Speaker 1: best version of me possible forever, no matter what. Are
49:35
Speaker 1: you ready for your meditation? Okay, let's do it? Oh Sam,
49:51
Speaker 1: what my oh so nah my, my MoMA. Okay, one
50:08
Speaker 1: more time and then we go to Sleepy, It's okay,
50:10
Speaker 1: go to sleep. It's okay, oh so nah, it's so
50:31
Speaker 1: good by. We're gonna go to sleep now, go to
50:34
Speaker 1: sleep now. I love you very much, Brass. You are
50:40
Speaker 1: so loved. Quest you are more than enough. You know
50:46
Speaker 1: how to set and maintain healthy boundaries from your life chality,
50:53
Speaker 1: pure potentiality. That's right. Have sweet dreams, and my baby,
51:01
Speaker 1: give all the nourishing rest that's your mind, body and
51:04
Speaker 1: soul need. I trust You're gonna please so gently, so effortlessly,
51:12
Speaker 1: and I cannot wait to see you in the morning. Okay,
51:15
Speaker 1: I love you. Have sweet drinkings. Hey, find me on
51:23
Speaker 1: social Let's connect at Debbie Brown that's Twitter and Instagram
51:27
Speaker 1: or go to my website Debbie Brown dot com. And
51:31
Speaker 1: if you're listening to the show on Apple Podcasts, please
51:34
Speaker 1: please please don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe, and
51:41
Speaker 1: send this episode to a friend. Dropping Jams is the
51:44
Speaker 1: production of I Heart Radio and the Black Effect Network.
51:47
Speaker 1: It's produced by Triple and Me Debbie Brown. For more
51:50
Speaker 1: podcasts from My heart Radio, visit the I heart Radio app,
51:54
Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.