Latest / The Midlife Momma Podcast - Empty nest mom, Parenting adult children, Midlife transition, Christian mom / 191. Overwhelmed by Your Adult Kids' Struggles? Soul-Care Practices for Moms
Transcript
- 0:02[SPEAKER_00]: Christian parenting.
- 0:07[SPEAKER_00]: Hey mama, I'm Pamela Hinklman and you're listening to the Midlife Mama podcast.
- 0:12[SPEAKER_00]: The show for Christian moms who want to let go with grace and actually enjoy their empty nest.
- 0:18[SPEAKER_00]: I'm a certified empty nest coach, speaker, and mom of five grown kids.
- 0:23[SPEAKER_00]: I know the challenges this season brings from letting go to setting healthy boundaries, to rediscovering your purpose, and reconnecting with your husband.
- 0:32[SPEAKER_00]: Each week I'll be your guide.
- 0:34[SPEAKER_00]: offering heartfelt conversations, faith-filled encouragement, and practical strategies to help you thrive in this next chapter.
- 0:42[SPEAKER_00]: My husband and I are loving the emptiness years, and I have strong growing relationships with my adult kids, and I want the same for you.
- 0:50[SPEAKER_00]: Don't miss the end of each episode.
- 0:52[SPEAKER_00]: I'll share a quick coaching tip you can apply right away to improve your relationship with your kids or your spouse.
- 0:59[SPEAKER_00]: One favor before we dive in.
- 1:00[SPEAKER_00]: If you find this episode helpful, would you leave a rating and review?
- 1:05[SPEAKER_00]: It helps other moms discover the show.
- 1:07[SPEAKER_00]: There's a link in the show notes with instructions.
- 1:10[SPEAKER_00]: Make sure you're following the podcast, so you don't miss a single episode.
- 1:14[SPEAKER_00]: Now, let's get started.
- 1:16[SPEAKER_00]: Welcome back to the Midlife Mama podcast, The Place for Faith Friendship, and real talk for empty nest moms.
- 1:23[SPEAKER_00]: If my voice sounds a little weird today, well, it's because I have a cold, so don't mind me, we are just going to power through.
- 1:30[SPEAKER_00]: Well, can I ask you something?
- 1:32[SPEAKER_00]: Do you ever feel overwhelmed by the weight of your adult child's struggles?
- 1:37[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you lie awake at night wondering if they'll find the right job, Mary well, or get the help they need for their anxiety or depression, the what if swirl in your mind and before you know it, your heart feels heavy, anxious and even hopeless.
- 1:53[SPEAKER_00]: If that's you, you are not alone.
- 1:55[SPEAKER_00]: In today's episode, we're talking about six soul care practices.
- 2:00[SPEAKER_00]: Every Christian mom needs when the burden of
- 2:05[SPEAKER_00]: Together, we'll learn how to honor our own needs, pay attention to our souls, and lean into God's presence in the middle of the overwhelm.
- 2:13[SPEAKER_00]: So take a deep breath, grab your coffee, and let step into this conversation with compassion and hope.
- 2:20[SPEAKER_00]: You will love your adult child deeply, yet their struggles weigh heavy on your heart, beers and doubts swirl.
- 2:28[SPEAKER_00]: Worst case scenarios flashed through your minds.
- 2:31[SPEAKER_00]: By the way, go back and listen to episode 190 with Coach Jennifer Collins.
- 2:36[SPEAKER_00]: As she teaches us how to overcome Worst case scenario thinking with our adult kids.
- 2:42[SPEAKER_00]: There are situations we find our kids in that we never
- 2:49[SPEAKER_00]: Some walk away from faith are an abusive relationships make poor financial decisions suffer from depression, addiction, a poor work ethic are divorced struggle with same sex attraction and gender identity issues to name a few.
- 3:07[SPEAKER_00]: It's no wonder so many Christian moms feel overwhelmed anxious and somehow just wondering how we ended up here.
- 3:17[SPEAKER_00]: When life doesn't turn out the way we hope for our children, we can start to wonder, where is God in all the mess?
- 3:23[SPEAKER_00]: We know we're supposed to let go, yet letting go feels irresponsible when our child is hurting.
- 3:30[SPEAKER_00]: So what's a mom to do?
- 3:32[SPEAKER_00]: How can you care for your soul?
- 3:34[SPEAKER_00]: On your own needs and still entrust your children to the God who loves them even more than you do?
- 3:41[SPEAKER_00]: Here are six soul care strategies for moms.
- 3:45[SPEAKER_00]: Number one, honor your needs.
- 3:52[SPEAKER_00]: Mama, you've spent decades putting everyone else first, packing lunches, staying up late to talk, praying hard and carrying the weight of your family's needs.
- 4:00[SPEAKER_00]: It's no wonder you're tired for so long you've pushed through the weariness, ignoring your own limits and plowing ahead with a never-ending to-do list.
- 4:10[SPEAKER_00]: But in this season, the emptiness, it is your invitation to pause, to breathe, to honor
- 4:22[SPEAKER_00]: maybe what you need is a nap, a long walk, a belly laugh with a friend, or the courage to set a healthy boundary.
- 4:30[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe it's giving yourself permission to enjoy something just for you.
- 4:36[SPEAKER_00]: When was the last time you checked in with your own heart, without guilt, and said, she matters too.
- 4:43[SPEAKER_00]: The second thing you can try is pay attention to your soul.
- 4:48[SPEAKER_00]: Well, my soul is precious.
- 4:51[SPEAKER_00]: It's the God-given center of who you are.
- 4:54[SPEAKER_00]: Dr. Allison Cook reminds us, these are the parts of us that help us identify where we have needs and where we need to learn to speak up on behalf of ourselves with safe people.
- 5:07[SPEAKER_00]: They are the parts that need our compassion, our attention, our kindness, our patience, and our gentleness, the most.
- 5:15[SPEAKER_00]: But here's the truth.
- 5:16[SPEAKER_00]: To often we ignore our souls.
- 5:19[SPEAKER_00]: We push, we strive, we please, we numb, we overwork so we don't have to feel, or we overanalyzing, trying to control what we can't fix.
- 5:30[SPEAKER_00]: These are warning lights on the dashboard of your life.
- 5:37[SPEAKER_00]: Dr. Henry Nolan talks about the place inside of us as a place of truth where we hold ourselves together with compassion.
- 5:45[SPEAKER_00]: Mama, it's time to look upon your soul and care for her well, tenderly.
- 5:54[SPEAKER_00]: The third thing you can do when you're overwhelmed with your kids is to acknowledge your feelings without judgment.
- 6:00[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, this is so tricky.
- 6:02[SPEAKER_00]: One of the greatest gifts you can give yourselves is permission to feel.
- 6:06[SPEAKER_00]: To often, we stuff our emotions down because they seem inconvenient, messy, or even unspear jewel.
- 6:14[SPEAKER_00]: But ignoring your feelings doesn't make them disappear.
- 6:17[SPEAKER_00]: It just makes them heavier to carry.
- 6:20[SPEAKER_00]: Paying attention to your soul means slowing down and asking, what am I really feeling right now?
- 6:26[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe it's fear, regret, shame or doubt.
- 6:30[SPEAKER_00]: Perhaps it's loneliness you didn't expect.
- 6:33[SPEAKER_00]: The key is to name it without judgment.
- 6:35[SPEAKER_00]: When you acknowledge what's stirring inside, those feelings lose some of their power.
- 6:40[SPEAKER_00]: And here's the beautiful part.
- 6:42[SPEAKER_00]: When you bring your honest emotions into the light of Jesus' presence, he doesn't shame you or push you away.
- 6:49[SPEAKER_00]: He meets you with tenderness, compassion, and rest.
- 6:53[SPEAKER_00]: He restores your weary soul, not once you fix yourself, but right in the middle of the raw and honest feelings.
- 7:02[SPEAKER_00]: Where are my early Christmas shoppers?
- 7:04[SPEAKER_00]: Finding the perfect gift for the people you love most should feel joyful, not stressful.
- 7:10[SPEAKER_00]: But between busy schedules and crowded stores, it's easy to lose the joy of giving.
- 7:15[SPEAKER_00]: That's why Christian parenting created the 2025 Christmas gift guide, a one-stop collection of thoughtful, they've built gifts for every age and stage.
- 7:24[SPEAKER_00]: Inside, you'll find meaningful ideas for kids, parents, grandparents, and friends,
- 7:32[SPEAKER_00]: for the season.
- 7:33[SPEAKER_00]: Plus, we've included some of our very favorite advent resources from family activities to devotionals, just for grandkids, so you can keep Jesus at the center of Christmas.
- 7:44[SPEAKER_00]: Best of all, it's completely free.
- 7:46[SPEAKER_00]: Check out the guide today at ChristianParenting.org forward slash Christmas and make this Christmas your most meaningful and less stressful yet.
- 7:56[SPEAKER_00]: Now, let's get back to our conversation.
- 7:59[SPEAKER_00]: The first thing you can do to manage your overwhelm is to process your feeling through the lens of God's truth.
- 8:06[SPEAKER_00]: Mama, once you've name what you're feeling, the next step is to hold those emotions up to the light of God's Word.
- 8:13[SPEAKER_00]: Feelings are real, but they're not always reliable, left unchecked, they can spiral us into fear, doubt, and despair, and that's why scripture is so vital, it studies us
- 8:27[SPEAKER_00]: threatened to sweep us away.
- 8:29[SPEAKER_00]: Bring your raw honesty to God and then listen for his truth.
- 8:33[SPEAKER_00]: Over your weary soul, he whispers, peace be still.
- 8:37[SPEAKER_00]: He promises, I am with you, I will never leave you.
- 8:41[SPEAKER_00]: He invites you to trust him when the waves of life feel too high.
- 8:45[SPEAKER_00]: These simple yet powerful truths become anchors when overwhelmed pulls hard.
- 8:51[SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to figure everything out, Mama.
- 8:53[SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to carry the weight alone.
- 8:55[SPEAKER_00]: God is holding you, steady, secure, and safe in His unshakable love.
- 9:03[SPEAKER_00]: The fifth tip for when you feel overwhelmed by your adult kids is to move your emotions through your body.
- 9:11[SPEAKER_00]: One of the most overlooked ways to care for your soul is to simply move.
- 9:16[SPEAKER_00]: Emotions were never meant to stay stuck inside of you.
- 9:19[SPEAKER_00]: They need healthy release.
- 9:21[SPEAKER_00]: When overwhelm rises, don't just sit in it, get up and move.
- 9:26[SPEAKER_00]: Take a brisk walk, stretch, dance in your kitchen, grab a friend and play a game of pickleball.
- 9:33[SPEAKER_00]: Movement is God's gift to help us process what feels too heavy, exercise lower stress, hormones, boost and orphans, those natural mood lifters, and it helps you rest more deeply at night, and we both know sleep is sacred when your mind won't turn off.
- 9:51[SPEAKER_00]: This isn't about chasing a
- 9:56[SPEAKER_00]: to your mental and emotional help.
- 9:58[SPEAKER_00]: Each step, each stretch, each laugh field game is a way of seeing my body matters, my soul matters, I matter.
- 10:09[SPEAKER_00]: The sixth thing to do when you're overwhelmed is to pray to God when the overwhelmed hit.
- 10:15[SPEAKER_00]: Mama, when overwhelmed crashes in, prayer is your lifeline.
- 10:19[SPEAKER_00]: Just like you poured out your heart to a trusted friend, you can come to God with your fears, doubts, and worries.
- 10:26[SPEAKER_00]: He's not put off by your emotions.
- 10:28[SPEAKER_00]: He welcomes them.
- 10:30[SPEAKER_00]: He leans in close, a faithful listener who longs to call on your weary soul.
- 10:35[SPEAKER_00]: As you sit in his presence, acknowledge his whiffness.
- 10:39[SPEAKER_00]: He is Emmanuel, God with you.
- 10:42[SPEAKER_00]: Try a simple breath prayer to steady your heart, inhale, Jesus, and then exhale, I need you.
- 10:52[SPEAKER_00]: And let his peace wash over you, even if it comes, mingled with tears.
- 10:58[SPEAKER_00]: I cannot tell you I've gone through a difficult season this summer thinking about my own kids
- 11:10[SPEAKER_00]: on a deep inhale, I think the word Jesus and as I exhale, I think I need you and it provides the reminder that I'm not alone, that he is with me, that he is faithful.
- 11:25[SPEAKER_00]: Your compassionate king is near, ready to quiet your fears with his unfailing love.
- 11:30[SPEAKER_00]: And mama, hear me on this.
- 11:32[SPEAKER_00]: If the overwhelm feels like it's too much to carry, reach out for help.
- 11:37[SPEAKER_00]: Talk with a trusted professional, counselor, or pastor, there's no shame in seeking support.
- 11:45[SPEAKER_00]: When life feels unbearably heavy mama, don't rush past your soul's cries.
- 11:55[SPEAKER_00]: This questions opens the door for God's grace to meet you right where you are.
- 12:01[SPEAKER_00]: As you honor your needs and knowledge your feelings and bring them to the one who loves you most, you're overwhelmed begins to loosen its grip.
- 12:09[SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to carry this alone.
- 12:12[SPEAKER_00]: God's compassion is greater than your fears.
- 12:15[SPEAKER_00]: His peace is steadier than your doubts and his presence nearer than your next breath.
- 12:20[SPEAKER_00]: He delights and restoring your weary soul and leading you into rest, hope, and joy.
- 12:27[SPEAKER_00]: Here's your coaching tip for the week.
- 12:29[SPEAKER_00]: In each episode, I will give you one actionable step to improve your life.
- 12:33[SPEAKER_00]: Remember, you can't change everything, but you can take one step to be better.
- 12:39[SPEAKER_00]: This week, I want you to name what you're feeling or carrying.
- 12:45[SPEAKER_00]: Write it down in a journal.
- 12:47[SPEAKER_00]: And when you acknowledge those feelings, they don't loom so large.
- 12:53[SPEAKER_00]: You take them out into the light and you observe them with grace and self-compassion, and then you allow the Lord to minister in the moment.
- 13:03[SPEAKER_00]: Remember, we're never gonna come to a time where our adult kids don't have struggles.
- 13:08[SPEAKER_00]: It's just part of humanity.
- 13:10[SPEAKER_00]: And as a mom, we walk through different things.
- 13:14[SPEAKER_00]: We're all on a different journey, but know that struggles are part of our story with Jesus.
- 13:20[SPEAKER_00]: But the beautiful thing is all we have to do is bring it to God, come to Him with our honest selves and He is always ready to minister.
- 13:30[SPEAKER_00]: Until next time, peace and grace, Mama, you've got this and God's got you.
- 13:36[SPEAKER_00]: Thanks for spending time with me on the Midlife Mama Podcast.
- 13:39[SPEAKER_00]: I hope you leave each episode feeling a little more encouraged, equipped, and seen, because that's what this space is all about.
- 13:46[SPEAKER_00]: Through the stories, insights, and conversations we share here, I'm coaching you through the ups and downs of the empty nest, helping you rediscover purpose, deepen faith, and enjoy this new season of life.
- 13:58[SPEAKER_00]: If you're ready for an even more personalized support, I'd love to invite you to book a free connection call.
- 14:04[SPEAKER_00]: The link is in the show notes and we'll talk about how I can walk alongside you as your coach.
- 14:09[SPEAKER_00]: And let's stay connected.
- 14:10[SPEAKER_00]: Follow me on Instagram at P-Hankelman, that's P-H-E-N-K-E-L-M-A-N, or come find me on Facebook at Pamela Hankelman, Empty Nest Coach.
- 14:21[SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to figure this all out on your own mama.
- 14:24[SPEAKER_00]: I'm here for you when you're ready.