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What is narcissistic supply · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  What is going on beautiful people?
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  Welcome to another episode of the narcissist Code.
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  I'm your favorite self aware narcissist Mr. Lee Hammett,
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  better known as mental illness across all social media
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  platforms. This is the first time I see my
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  face or hearing my voice. I'm a clinically diagnosed
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  narcissist and I use my platform on social media to raise
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  awareness for NPD, get more people into therapy and also
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  validate the victims, survivors and thrivers.
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  They'll say disorder, say tox to people, say toxic traits.
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  Today's episode is going to be about what is narcissistic
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  supply, What is supply, what is narcissistic supply?
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  The word There are a lot of people here that is consistently
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  thrown around in the world of narcissistic abuse, toxic
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  relationships, toxic abuse and things of that nature.
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  So, so narcissistic supply. This is the the the textbook
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  definition of or the definition you're going to see on Google.
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  If you Google the phrase, it says Narcissistic supply refers
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  to the constant supply of attention and admiration needed
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  by narcissist attention and admiration.
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  So for me, as a diagnosed narcissist validation, so
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  attention and admiration are akin or equivalent to
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  validation. It's just like I need that
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  validation. I need a tip that I need that
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  attention, the admiration and special treatment and things of
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  their nature. Because I am me.
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  You know I am me. I need it.
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  I need people to validate my existence.
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  I need people to validate the reason that I'm here.
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  I need people to validate, like my life in general.
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  I need. I absolutely need that.
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  And most, if not all narcissists that need narcissistic supply.
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  And this is the thing I get. This is the thing that gets a
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  lot of people caught up right here.
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  A lot of people think it's just only attention and admiration
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  that supplies a narcissist or that validates A narcissistic
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  person, and then it has to come from a significant other or a
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  spouse. That's why I think people just,
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  they kind of close it off at it being something that comes from
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  a significant other or from a partner, boyfriend, girlfriend,
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  spouse or whatever. But narcissistic supply?
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  Y'all validation can come from. It doesn't have to necessarily
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  only be that right there. It can be also come from the
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  kids. Like narcissists can get
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  validation from having exceptional kids, from having
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  kids that are small, from having kids that are super athletic for
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  having kids that are, you know, you have like models and you
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  know famous kids like social media, like you can get.
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  You can get that validation in that supply from having kids
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  that that supported. You mean living by living
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  vicariously through your children can be a form of
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  getting narcissistic supply and validation.
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  Like I I'm validated through them because they wouldn't be
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  here without me. So it's because they couldn't
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  because they wouldn't be here without me.
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  That means that what they do and what they're accomplished is
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  because of me. So I'm validated through that.
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  You said it's just, yeah, I'm just telling you it's mental
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  gymnastics like narcissistic supplies, validation, you know,
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  need, their needs being met, validation.
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  And I know people think, need. When I say needs, people
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  automatically think food, water, shelter, Those are the main
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  needs. Narcissist, Food, water, shelter
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  validation, food, water, shelter validation and things of the
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  day. They need validation.
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  They need to be validated. They need that.
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  They just, yeah, I'm just telling you.
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  And it can be like money can. Money can validate narcissistic
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  people. There's different forms of
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  narcissistic supply. It is like, yeah, it's food,
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  shelter, food, water, food, shelter and narcissistic supply.
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  That's what I mean. I didn't mean validation.
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  Food, water, shelter and narcissistic supply and supply
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  can be a different, a few different things.
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  Y'all supply could be money. Yeah, narcissist.
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  Narcissist can get some plot, get supply and validation
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  through an accumulation of wealth or the pursuit of wealth,
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  you know what I mean? They can do that.
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  A lot of narcissists and talks people can absolutely pursue
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  have this pursuit of wealth and things along those lines because
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  that's what they want. Y'all like if I have a lot of
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  money, I can get it. I can get unlimited attention
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  even I know even though I think people only want me for around
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  for money and things like that, I still get that unlimited
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  attention. I still get that that feeling.
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  I still get that, you know, it's still there for me.
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  I still have it, you know. So that right there is a is a
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  part of it as well. You know there, right there is a
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  part of it as well. That right there is for how it
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  goes. Like they need that supply.
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  They need that attention. They need that validation.
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  They need it. They need it.
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  They need it. They can get it from a few
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  different sources. And as long like the
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  relationship with a narcissistic person, yeah, whatever the
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  relationship is like, they get that supply.
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  Like as long as they're getting supply, they typically don't cut
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  people off. Whatever form of supply that a
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  narcissist gets from you, as long as that that spigot, that
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  faucet. I say spigot is the old that
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  North Carolina slang right there, Old spigot.
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  As long as that faucet is turned on and the supply is flowing,
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  they'll stay around you. But when that supply starts to
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  run up, when that supply starts to get drained, when that supply
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  starts to run out or whatever it is starts to run low, or it
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  doesn't feel the same anymore, that supply doesn't feel the
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  same anymore. They typically try to discourage
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  you, get rid of you. They they seek that supply from
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  someone else. They seek that same source of
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  supply that they're getting from you.
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  It could be emotional supply, Y'all.
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  It could be financial supply. It could be just like you make
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  me look good Supply. Like supply is supply.
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  Y'all validation, admiration. Like go think about that.
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  What? Ask yourself this right here.
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  Like, how do how do I get a narcissist to leave me alone?
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  Cut off the supply, turn off the spigot, dam it up.
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  You see what I'm saying? It's just like a river.
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  As long as the river of supply flows to that narcissistic
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  person, they tend to not want to leave you alone.
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  So sometimes you have to. You know, I've said this before,
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  y'all, you have to dam up the river of supply.
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  Once you turn that supply off, they tend to leave you alone.
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  You know they know you still have the supply.
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  So they might not leave you alone, but when you take away
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  whatever they're getting from you, then yeah, they tend to
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  leave you alone or they tend to seek it out elsewhere.
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  It doesn't. There's not a guarantee that
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  they leave. You know, if you turn out, like
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  if you give it, if they're you giving them financial support or
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  financial supply and you turn that off, yeah, they'll beg,
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  plea, kick, scream, cry. It's not coming out.
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  It's not coming out of the nose. Do do all of that stuff.
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  But at the end of the day, like they'll go see if somebody else,
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  like you get a lot of bum narcissistic people who only
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  seek out money like they don't want to work, they don't want
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  to, they they literally want other people to, to support
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  them. And this is just, this is not
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  just a gender based thing. You're just going to be men.
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  Women not by their folks can seek out people with money to
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  take care of them. It's not just one gender.
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  I know people are like well just the women narcissist.
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  No, There's a lot of bum male, narcissist, male presenting,
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  narcissistic people out there that will seek out people to
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  take care of them. You know, they just will.
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  They will absolutely will. They'll seek out people that
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  take care of them. They'll seek out people to help
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  them out. They'll seek out people to take
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  advantage of. They'll seek out that supply.
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  Like when I said, when your supply is running dry or running
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  out, they'll try to find somebody who can supply them
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  with equal or greater supply than what you were.
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  You know, that's what it that's that's what happens a lot of
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  times in these spaces, Y'all. And that's why I try to, I try
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  to convey that to a lot of people.
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  I want to convey that to a lot of people.
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  I I really, really do. Because the the fact that the
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  matter goes like you're dealing with a narcissistic person.
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  Cut off the supply. If you want to get them to leave
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  you be. Cut off the supply.
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  If you want to get them to leave you alone.
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  Cut off the supply. If you wanted the chance, let me
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  tell you that if you want the chance of them leave you alone,
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  cut off that narcissistic supply.
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  Stop giving them money. Stop giving them attention.
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  Stop validating, you know, stop validating their toxicity.
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  Stop validating their emotion. I'm just telling you because, of
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  course, use discretion. Yeah, because some people will
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  try to harm you or hurt you for turning off the supply, for
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  turning off the the spigot or whatever you mean.
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  Some people will absolutely do that.
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  They just will. They will absolutely try, try to
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  hurt you or harm you for turning off the narcissistic supply.
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  They don't want that right there, you know.
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  So you have to prepare. You have to be as strong as you
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  possibly can. You have to do what you need to
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  do in order to get, you know, in order to take your power back.
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  You know, in order to take your strength back in order to have
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  that right there, you have to do what you need to do.
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  And so I don't think a lot of people see that, A lot of people
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  realize that. But that's the part of the
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  space, that's part of the dynamic that exists when you're
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  dealing with narcissistic people.
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  Y'all turn off the supply. Turn off the supply.
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  Like, say it like it's it's hard if you are the child of a
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  narcissist, especially if you're not an adult, to turn off the
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  supply that they get from you because they're living
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  vicariously through you and then you want to make them proud.
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  So it's harder to do as a kid, but as an adult, you have more,
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  a little bit more leverage and power.
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  You should. You should.
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  Sometimes they said it, sometimes they set it up so even
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  as an adult you were dependent upon them.
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  So be very weary. Y'all that's what I'm just
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  saying. Like whatever the supply is,
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  y'all think about this space right here.
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  Like what? What am I?
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  What? I don't know what type of supply
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  they're getting from me. Lee.
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  Sometimes the supply y'all the validation can just be you
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  making them look normal, making them fit and helping them fit
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  into society. Think about it right there.
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  Y'all. Sometimes the supply is just
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  your presence. Like if you're my husband or
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  you're my wife, like and you or you and my children, you just
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  validate my existence. Because now I have a family, You
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  know what I'm saying? Now I'm married with kids.
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  That's the family. I got a job, married with kids,
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  going to graduate in college. Now I look like a normal human
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  being. So the form of supply they can
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  get me getting from you is just to look normal.
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  It's just to be able to present themselves into the world as a
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  normal air quotes, normal person, you know, normal.
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  Everybody's definition of normal is going to be different.
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  Y'all Yeah, I asked people, people, people in my comments
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  actually ask me, asking me, like, do you not ever want to be
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  normal? Like what does normal mean to
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  y'all? What is normal?
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  You know, define normal. Give me, tell me what normal is.
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  Tell me what normal is. Give me, give me your definition
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  of normal. Let's go with it from there.
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  You know, it's a very unique space to be in.
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  Y'all if I'm just saying like whatever supply that they are
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  getting from you, find a way to turn it off, find a way to turn
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  off the spigot, find a way to move forward without them.
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  Or, you know, like say it might hurt their image, it might hurt
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  their pride or their ego, but you have to find a way to cut
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  it. But I mean cut it to end it that
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  way. Because if you don't, I'm just
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  telling you they going to take advantage of you.
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  They're going to get you. They're going to do whatever it
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  takes. They're going to do whatever it
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  takes for them to feel good about themselves.
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  They're going to do whatever it takes for them to feel happy, to
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  feel happy and to feel happy in malign.
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  And so like that they're going to keep doing that.
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  Y'all they just are, you know. But so you have to find that
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  balance. You have to find that peace
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  because if you don't bulky your safety belt up, y'all because
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  they're going to take advantage of you, they're literally going
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  to take advantage of you and run you through the dirt.
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  They just, they, I promise you, they are and it doesn't.
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  It does not get better in those circumstances.
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  It does not get better in this space.
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  It just doesn't, you know. So you have to validate
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  yourself, validate yourself. You supply yourself and take the
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  take the supply away from the narcissistic person.
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  Because the more you supply them, the harder it is going to
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  be for you to get rid of them. Yeah, the more, the greater the
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  supply, the greater the supply they get from you, the less
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  likely they are to leave you alone, the more likely that they
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  are to go. You know.
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  Again, y'all, there's different forms in our statistical supply.
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  It could be their job, their job could be their supply.
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  Their, like I said, their kids could be their supply, their
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  money could be their supply. Whatever it takes, you know, for
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  them to fit in and be normal or get validation or admiration or
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  special treatment, that's a form of supply.
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  Y'all their status. There's you know there's that's
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  somewhere there could be a form of supply.
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  You know once you cut the supply off they, if they like, you
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  know, they ask yourself this question right here ended with
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  this. They figure out what form of
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  supply that they're getting for you.
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  Ask yourself what if you remove what What can you remove from
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  this space that will make them act differently?
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  If I leave will they act differently if I stop giving the
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  money? Will they act differently if I
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  stop doing this for them When they act differently?
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  If you're the boss and they're using a job, as you know supply.
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  If I fired them will they act differently?
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  You see what I'm saying? What is the that's how you
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  figure out what what supply that they're getting from you ask
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  yourself if what if I cut this off.
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  How would they act? If this got cut off how would
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  they act? How would they behave?
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  You know, I mean it's a very unique dynamic to be in.
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  Y'all. I know this video running on
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  longer than what I'm sorry. I'm making I'm start increasing
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  the length of my videos a little bit here.
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• 12:50
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• 12:53
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• 12:55
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• 12:57
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