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Kinky Gym Coaching · Kinkyboys Podcast

0:00
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0:26
Now, on with the interview
0:35
Hello, and welcome again to the Kinky Boys Podcast.
0:38
I'm Buck, and joining today is Jasper, or Coach Jasper, and we'll be getting
0:44
into why he's Coach Jasper today.
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Jasper: That's right
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Buck: yes, so why don't you introduce yourself for the listeners?
0:53
Jasper: Yeah, absolutely.
0:54
So my name is Sir Jasper, more so recently known as Coach Jasper.
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I am a personal trainer and a lifestyle coach.
1:04
I have been doing this for-- I started this business at the beginning of the
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year, but I've been training people for the better part of 15 years at this point
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Buck: Oh, wow.
1:13
So very experienced then.
1:17
So what drew me to you is I've seen examples online of several of your
1:23
subs who have basically made amazing gym progress under you, and it's very
1:29
clearly a power exchange dynamic.
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And I know for a lot of our listeners, that's a huge fantasy for them.
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So I thought I'd have you on to talk about the reality a little
1:40
Jasper: Absolutely, I would love to talk about it because the
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reality is a lot different than
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Buck: Mmhmm
1:44
Jasper: might think.
1:46
Buck: Oh, yeah.
1:47
It, it tends to be that way for a lot of kinks and sort of fantasies.
1:52
So why don't you tell us a bit about, like, your history, what
1:56
are your kinks, what are you into,
1:59
Jasper: Absolutely.
2:02
wow.
2:03
So I guess I will say that I started as a sub.
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That's how I started in my kink journey.
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I was a content creator for a long time.
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I still do it a little bit.
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but I started as wanting to be a sub, and my whole thing was that
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I really wanted to be muscle sub.
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I had years of training in the gym and I was seeing all these boys
2:28
on Twitter, these muscle boys that were, doing all the things that
2:33
Buck: Угу
2:33
Jasper: them very attractive as muscle subs, and I was like,
2:37
"Oh, I could do that, too."
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So I did that for a long time.
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But being a sub was never really something that fully clicked with me.
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I always felt like there was something more that I could offer.
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I always wanted to be a mentor.
2:50
It is something that is near and dear to my heart.
2:53
I started connecting with people more on a mentor level, and I actually
2:58
started getting into chastity, and chastity is the one thing that actually
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solidified in me that I was a dom.
3:05
I still love being caged every now
3:07
Buck: угу
3:08
Jasper: and I feel like chastity is a great way to practice discipline.
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and so when I put a cage on for the first time, it flipped a switch in me.
3:19
It made me feel so dominant, so powerful and so much more in a dad role than
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I thought that it would make me feel.
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And I felt like I wanted to offer that protection to other people.
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Then I became a dom, so I've been doing that for a few years.
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And I was a software engineer in addition to being a personal trainer,
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and as I started to transition out of software engineering, I was like,
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"Oh, I should make a book software engineers and gamers to get into
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fitness," because always talking about that with colleagues at work.
3:57
Everyone wants to know what's your diet, what's your workout
3:59
plan?" All that stuff, whatever.
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Buck: Yeah
4:01
Jasper: so I started writing this book geared towards them, and then I was like,
4:07
"You know what? I have way more of a connection with subs. I should write this
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book for subs." So I wrote this book.
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It's called The Discipline System, and it's been going really well.
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A lot of people love it.
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People have gotten a lot of success far, from it, that's how I started
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my coaching company Well Trained.
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Buck: Wow.
4:27
That's really cool.
4:29
Like, we've touched on this before in a previous episode about
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chastity where it was talking about, like, doms who do chastity.
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And yeah, touching on what you said, like, it … Because often with chastity,
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whether you're dom or sub, a lot of people describe it like redirects your energy.
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Is that what you find happens with you?
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Jasper: Yeah.
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Yeah, absolutely.
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Definitely redirects it, the energy.
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It just channels, it channels you in a lot of ways.
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I feel like who you are on the inside gets amplified when you're in chastity.
5:03
For some people it's literally just the act, the, the, the physical presence
5:09
of having the cage on, but for other people it is what you get, days or weeks
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Buck: Yeah
5:15
Jasper: The cage on itself.
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A very powerful tool that I think it's but I think is more in the limelight now
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Buck: Oh yeah, it's been like growing in populality, popularity without ceasing.
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I know so many more people in chastity than ever before.
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Personally, I've tried it.
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I cannot last more than a week.
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That's sort of my record maximum.
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Thank you.
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Yeah, and I always try and reinforce, like chastity doesn't have to be
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long-term to be enjoyable or worthwhile
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Jasper: it does not.
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Buck: And like I find the whole s- you're mentioning that you tend to
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have dad energy very interesting.
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It's probably from exposure to wider gym culture.
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I expect coaches to be harsher, and I expected the dom version of a coach to
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be much more tapping into sort of that colder disciplinarian type of dominance
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Jasper: Let's dive into that.
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So I do think that there is a difference between a trainer and a coach.
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Buck: Okay
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Jasper: I do believe that a trainer can utilize more of the authoritarian
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method of training people, being very direct getting you to just do something.
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If someone wants to do-- wants you to do a fourth set of wall sets and your legs are
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Buck: Mm-hmm
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Jasper: then, maybe a dad energy is probably not the best thing for that.
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It's more, the drill sergeant who's just "You're gonna…" Can we swear on this?
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Buck: Oh yeah, go ahead.
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It, it's a sex podcast.
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Like, we can, we can say fuck.
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Jasper: Who knows?
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Then you're gonna need that trainer's gonna be like,
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"You're gonna fucking do this,"
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Buck: Mm-hmm
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Jasper: and you're just gonna do it.
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You can hold it for sixty seconds.
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So that is a trainer, and that is their role, and it's
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a very good and powerful role.
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coach is way more focused on the lifestyle of living a healthier life
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even necessarily a healthier life 'cause that's also a misconception.
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Buck: Yeah.
7:19
Jasper: a more active life.
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And so because of that, you cannot use force to do this because you're going
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to-- I'm gonna force you to stick to a meal plan, go to the gym, get your
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steps in, all that stuff, and you might do it for a week or two, but
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it's not gonna be anything that sticks.
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And in order for my job to be effective and for me to say I did my job as a
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coach, I have to make sure that you pick up skills that you can actually
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use and implement in your daily life
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Buck: That's really good.
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And I feel like that sort of clashes with the idea of fantasy most people have
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around sort of using dominance in the gym.
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I get the impression a lot of people use it for essentially to try and
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substitute their own lack of drive,
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It's, "Well, I need an outside force to force me to do this."
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I mean, getting a s- we've talked about it before on this show.
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Basically, like a lot of the times it's you're basically expecting
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a personal trainer for free and for them to make you come.
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Jasper: Yeah.
8:30
Yeah, exactly.
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Exactly.
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It's a great fantasy, they make great porn scenes, I'll tell you that.
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But in reality, it just doesn't, it doesn't stick.
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I, I think that you can view a, a personal trainer as like a session,
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Buck: Угу
8:46
Jasper: Doing a scene, if you will.
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Scenes don't last forever.
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They last for an hour or two, whatever.
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But you know, a coach, we're gonna view that as more of a dynamic, right?
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This is something that is a give and take.
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Yes, I am your sir. Yes, I am the dom in this dynamic.
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But as a sub, it is your responsibility to check in, I'm sure
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we're gonna talk about check-ins,
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Buck: Oh yeah
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Jasper: To check in to tell me where things are going wrong, to tell
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me, what you're struggling with.
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If you're like, is no possible way that I can get my 10,000 steps in
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a day," well, then you talk to your dom, you talk to your coach, and help
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you figure out to get that, right?
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My, my job as your coach is not for you to start working with me and
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instantly be on 100% compliant the entire time, 'cause if that was the
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case, then you wouldn't hire me, right?
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My job is to meet you where you are to push you further to 100% compliance.
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And everyone gets there.
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Everyone gets there, honestly, because I don't care what excuse or what
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you think you can't do we can always do more than we think we can do.
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And the big reason why I started writing my book for software engineers and
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for gamers is because these are people who are already high achievers, right?
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You solve these very complex algorithms that, computers
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are still trying to decode.
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You have platinumed these games 1,000
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Buck: Yeah
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Jasper: You can do hard stuff that takes you hours and
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hundreds of hours to complete.
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Buck: Mmhmm
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Jasper: for some reason there's this disconnect when it comes to fitness.
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And so my whole goal was to show you already have discipline,
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you already have follow-through.
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All that stuff is already there.
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I'm just here to back to chastity, rechannel that energy
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Buck: Mm-hmm
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Jasper: something that's gonna help you look and feel better
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Buck: Yeah.
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That really strikes a chord because so much of both, like, working out
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in the gym and sort of getting into a sub/dom dynamic is about working
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together to figure out what your motivation is and how to achieve goals.
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And often it, often when for more complex goals or more ambitious goals, it takes
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more than just trying to brute force it.
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It is you do have to work with the person, figure out how their mind works, what
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are their sort of motivation points.
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Like, I'll speak for myself, like I have had a lot more success in the gym
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ever since I got a dom simply because I know it- he expects that from me.
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Thank you.
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Ah.
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Sorry.
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And yeah, and it has had really dramatic improvements in me.
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Like, especially on those cold winter mornings where the sun's not up and
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it's cold and icy, and I'm like, "If I don't do this, I will be letting my dom
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down." Because I can let myself down.
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I can, like, fob myself off and go, "Well, you know, if I lay in, I might be able
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to go tonight," and yeah, and I never do.
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Yeah
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Jasper: I know exactly how that goes.
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Yeah, that makes complete sense and I find that that was a role that I was playing
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for a long time, with my subs, just
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Buck: Yeah
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Jasper: encouraging them to do different things, and it's not always with fitness.
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Whatever, whatever a person, whatever a sub wants to achieve in their
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life, as long as it's something that that I would like to help them with,
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'cause it has to also be mutual then I'm gonna help them get there.
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And, my job is just to be a sounding board to let them voice their concerns,
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their frustrations, their anxieties, and sometimes just that stuff out,
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when you hear yourself speak things, you're like, "Okay, that doesn't
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really make that much sense," and then that's my job, really just to listen.
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Sometimes it is to redirect that energy, but yeah, having someone to be
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accountable to is such a huge unlock.
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I myself, I have a coach.
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Like I said, I have been personal trainer for 15 years.
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I have my own coaching company, and I have my own coach because I just truly value
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the accountability that they provide.
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And I'm just-- just talk about check-ins and
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Buck: Sure.
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Jasper: Check-ins are something that
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Buck: Mmhmm
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Mm-hmm.
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Jasper: pretty much any coach that's good.
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And basically all it is, it's once a week you fill out a form you submit your your
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pictures you tell me about how the week has gone, and then I'll send you feedback.
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A check-in is probably the most, I would argue, is the most
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important thing about my coaching.
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I could give you no workout plan, no meal plan, no instruction at all and
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say, "Once a week, I just want you to fill out this form," and just the
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act of doing that alone will push you towards the direction of where you
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wanna go, whether it's to, burn fat, put on muscle, maintain, whatever.
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there are too many times in life where we Don't-- we're not able
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to, stay accountable to one thing
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Buck: Mm-hmm
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Jasper: To reference how our week went and reflect on how our week went and see how
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things could be better for the next time.
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there's so many times, like you'll be filling out a form, and
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like sometimes it's "Okay, how many cardio sessions did you do?
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You were assigned three.
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How many of them did you do?" Okay, I did one.
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many steps did you get in on average?
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Okay, I got five thousand in.
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closely did you follow the meal plan?
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Sixty percent.
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Okay.
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Well, even you just, you filling that in, you start to feel some type of way.
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You're like, "Okay, I only did one cardio session, but like really
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Tuesday and Wednesday, I could have easily done that after my gym session
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or I wasn't really doing anything.
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I could have just walked on the walking pad or went outside and
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went for a walk." You yourself start to coach yourself, right?
15:13
When you see
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Buck: Yeah.
15:14
Jasper: those benchmarks that you need to hit,
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Buck: Mmhmm
15:16
Jasper: you see that there's areas of opportunity, you just become
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more accountable to yourself.
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So I put a lot of stress and a lot of emphasis on my check-ins, and
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Buck: Mm-hmm.
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Jasper: I tell my clients all the time, "I don't care if you sat on the couch
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the entire week and you did not get up, you will fill out the check-in form
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because it is just the most important part for you to reflect on how your
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week went." And it's very important.
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Now, obviously, I do give you all the other stuff, all the other
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Buck: Yeah
15:45
Jasper: want you to hit.
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But the check-in is so important, and so I feel like that's just
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like in any, any dynamic, right?
15:51
You check in with your dom.
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You-- if you're doing chastity, you might do a, a cage check every day.
15:58
If you're not doing chastity, you might just like, send a good morning
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text to your sir. Things like that.
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It's just a way to be accountable, a way to know like I'm not the
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only person-- not in a silo, right?
16:11
I'm
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Buck: Yeah
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Jasper: on an island.
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There is somebody there to help and protect me, and
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that wants to see me succeed.
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And so the only thing that I have to do is put some effort into succeeding.
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And anytime I am considering like on a sub outside of the fitness realm, and they
16:31
are always like, kind of expectations you expect to me, e-expect of me as your boy
16:37
or whatever?" always say, "Passion." I don't really care about like what specific
16:44
goals that you have, other than like I don't really care what the goals are.
16:50
As long as you do it with passion and with energy, like that's great.
16:54
I can work with that.
16:55
I can channel that to different areas if I feel like there are areas
16:58
of opportunity for you to excel in.
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If you have passion, if you have drive, if you have energy, the world is your oyster.
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So
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Buck: Passio- I think people, especially when it comes to subs, don't
17:11
understand passion and drive in itself is an attractive quality in a sub.
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Jasper: Yeah
17:18
Buck: People assume that's like for the dominant and it's not.
17:21
A sub who can have passions and get passionate about stuff and into things
17:29
and show that they have that sort of drive is a very attractive quality
17:33
Jasper: It is, yeah.
17:35
There, there is so many, There's not so many.
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There's
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Buck: Yeah
17:38
Jasper: times when a sub will hit me up and, we'll be chatting,
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and they're like, "I just wanna do whatever you tell me to do.
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I want you to give me every
17:46
Buck: Mmhmm
17:46
Jasper: want you to control my entire life." And I'm like, that sounds really
17:49
hot, but it's also a lot of work for me,
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Buck: Yeah
17:53
Jasper: I can't tell you how to do every single thing.
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You need to have drive.
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You need to have passion.
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If those are things that you're lacking, then I can help
18:02
you find passion and drive.
18:04
I can help you, I can help you be motivated towards
18:07
Buck: Mmhmm
18:08
Jasper: can dive into that.
18:09
But you know, just to completely not have that in the conversation
18:14
is just, it's, pointless, so yeah
18:19
Buck: Yeah.
18:20
So if I can, I would like to dive a bit into what you actually do with
18:24
your boys as well as your sort of paid clients, 'cause you have both.
18:29
So how do you mix more dominant elements into this?
18:34
I mean, anyone on the camera or the video feed can see you have
18:38
quite a few keys around your neck.
18:41
Jasper: I do, yeah.
18:44
It's for four boys but of them are a little greedy, so they have two keys.
18:50
I would say of the four boys that I have, of them are also my coaching clients.
18:57
And so because of that they go through the whole sequence of events that,
19:04
my normal clients would go through.
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I demand my check-ins.
19:07
I a lot higher compliance of them because they are my boys
19:13
and are representations of me.
19:16
Then at the same time I expect a lot from all my clients, I don't take every person
19:22
that just wants to pay my fee because when I first star- got started I did do that.
19:29
I
19:29
Buck: Yeah
19:29
Jasper: that were like, "Oh yeah, I wanna do this." They were very motivated and
19:33
I just quickly noticed that they were there for the dom aspect of it solely,
19:41
Buck: Yeah
19:41
Jasper: came to the actual day-to-day "Okay, but you
19:44
don't actually wanna get fit
19:45
. Buck: Yeah
19:46
Yeah
19:47
Jasper: stuff."
19:47
Or they would be like, "Oh, I can't do this because it, it's too it's too boring.
19:51
It's too it's too monotonous." And I'm like, "That's what it is.
19:56
, That's what the fitness part is,
19:58
Buck: Yeah.
19:58
Jasper: It literally is doing the same thing over time and the longer that
20:04
you do the same thing the better your results are, so as far as like the
20:07
difference between my actual subs and my I would say there's not too much of
20:13
a difference, i'm going to treat every single one of my clients if they choose
20:18
to, I'm gonna treat them like I would a sub, I talk to my boys much every day.
20:25
When they have questions and concerns they send me messages.
20:30
I pretty much live on my phone.
20:31
Buck: All do in this day and age.
20:33
Yeah
20:34
Jasper: do.
20:34
They're proud of themselves for a good workout they'll send
20:37
me their post-workout flex.
20:38
If they aren't doing something then they'll say "I can't get off
20:42
the couch", so I would say there's not a huge difference, the boys
20:46
that I own, they are locked and
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Buck: Mmhmm
20:51
Jasper: so
20:52
I would say that's the main difference is that I actually wear their keys.
20:56
And we just have a tighter personal relationship as, as a dom and sub would.
21:02
But I try my hardest to have that connection with all of my subs.
21:07
So being someone who has had many coaches myself, I've probably had-
21:16
five coaches throughout my training history.
21:20
The thing is that the more that a coach can become
21:26
As close to a friend without crossing the line of
21:30
Buck: Yeah
21:31
Jasper: friendly, you know what I mean?
21:33
And being, like, too chummy.
21:35
The closer we can be to a good relationship and a good connection,
21:40
Buck: Угу
21:40
Jasper: further you're gonna go, right?
21:42
So I try to make sure that I have a good relationship with my boys.
21:47
If, they're doing something that is annoying me or they're being a little
21:50
extra, I'm gonna tell you, right?
21:53
Because I
21:53
Buck: Yeah.
21:54
Jasper: burnt out on you
21:55
Buck: Mm-hmm
21:56
Jasper: the same way I don't want you to get burnt out on me.
21:58
I try to keep that communication open.
22:00
If there's ever a time where my-- the communication with my sub, with my
22:06
clients… I call my clients my subs,
22:09
Buck: yeah
22:10
Jasper: Anytime a, one of my subs starts to get the, the
22:14
sexual aspect of it becomes
22:16
Buck: Mm-hmm
22:17
Jasper: to the fitness aspect, I always will reel that in and
22:20
I'm like, "Listen, that is great, but you are here to work," right?
22:25
That is why I'm the fitness dom not the top dom.
22:28
W-- this is a very focus central thing, and I think that, when you
22:33
kind of allow me to fill that lane in your life as the fitness dom, we
22:40
can go very far with this, right?
22:42
You can play out your kink, your BDSM, your power dynamic
22:48
power exchange fantasies in this program a pretty high extent.
22:53
You know what I mean?
22:54
Because is a twenty four/seven thing.
22:57
Your fitness is a twenty four/seven thing.
22:59
If you think about it, I am controlling you eat, I'm controlling when you go
23:04
to the gym, I'm controlling every step that you take, I'm controlling when
23:07
you go to sleep and when you wake up.
23:10
If you really want to into this and you really want to explore
23:14
this dynamic and TPE, here you go.
23:18
Buck: Yeah
23:20
Jasper: So yeah
23:22
Buck: Yeah
23:23
and I assume that's something that you can build up over time.
23:26
Like,
23:27
Jasper: Ab-
23:27
Buck: yeah
23:28
Jasper: absolutely.
23:29
Yes.
23:29
Like I said, you came into this program and you were
23:32
hitting… I, there's two things.
23:34
One, you came into the program, you started working with me, and you were
23:37
hitting 100% compliance the entire time and you were just perfect,
23:41
good to go, why would you hire me?
23:45
Buck: yeah
23:45
Jasper: And then B, if you go too hard at the beginning,
23:49
you will fall off very fast,
23:52
Buck: Угу
23:53
Jasper: I get it.
23:54
People are excited.
23:55
People, they're like, wanna get ripped by next week," and
24:00
Buck: Yeah, yeah.
24:00
And it doesn't work like that.
24:02
Jasper: work like that.
24:02
But honestly people will be like, "I wanna get ripped in the three,
24:05
in the next three months." And I'm like, "We gotta scale this back.
24:09
We gotta scale
24:10
Buck: yeah
24:10
Jasper: is a lifetime thing.
24:12
We can set the goal out for eight months from now, let's talk about
24:16
next summer." Because those goal- those are goals that are realistic,
24:20
Buck: Uh-huh
24:21
Jasper: over time, you're gonna realize that's no longer a goal necessarily
24:26
because that's just how I live my life.
24:28
And so yes, we have to do this incrementally, my first weeks of when
24:33
boys work with me, I always say, "Just shoot for 50% compliance." All right?
24:37
So get half the steps, do half the workouts, eat half the meal plan.
24:42
If you do that, I will be proud of you, that's it.
24:46
And then we just work on ways to improve, people will be like, "All
24:49
right, I did half and I ended up spending three hours doing meal prep." Well,
24:54
it doesn't need to take that long, so good thing that you didn't try to
24:58
shoot for 100% compliance, 'cause you'd be in the kitchen all fucking day.
25:03
Let's start smaller in scale.
25:05
Let's learn different things.
25:07
Let's maybe learn how to cook chicken.
25:09
Let's learn how to make rice, things like that before we go, balls to the wall
25:13
and start m- making food for the entire week and then you have the first bite of
25:16
chicken and you're like, "This literally tastes like dust." Things like that.
25:20
We have to start slow.
25:22
This is about building momentum and I want to build momentum that
25:27
is strong enough, right, so that when it starts to swing back in
25:30
Buck: Yeah.
25:31
Jasper: direction, you still have those skills and things like that to
25:35
where you can still get the swing.
25:37
I just posted a transformation from this one client that I have of three
25:41
months, and honestly, his results are like- Pretty abnormal for three months.
25:47
Buck: Mmhmm
25:48
Jasper: They're very good.
25:49
But he's been traveling, and he's been, traveling for interviews, he's been doing
25:54
his own, kink events and things like that, and still hasn't been able to hit it.
25:59
And, the first time he went on a travel, it took him like a week to
26:03
get back in the swing of things.
26:04
And I said, "Okay, that's fine.
26:07
time you go on a trip, what I want you to do is I want you to pack or meal prep
26:12
Buck: yeah
26:13
Jasper: two days' worth of food
26:14
Buck: Mmhmm
26:14
Jasper: when you come back.
26:15
Put it in the freezer and that way when you come back, just
26:18
take it out of the freezer.
26:19
You already have two days' worth, right?
26:21
So you're already up two days." Anytime you come back from a trip, you're like,
26:25
"I just wanna rest." Every vacation, you need a vacation from the vacation.
26:28
So it's just okay, if you know that you're gonna need that, then let's plan ahead.
26:34
Prepare two days worth of meals, put them in the freezer, be good to go.
26:38
And he did that the next time, and honestly, it just happened like that.
26:42
Now, if he would've came back, done his check-ins for two weeks, I
26:47
would've had no idea that was an issue.
26:50
Buck: Yeah
26:50
Jasper: I can-- I am only as good as the stuff that you tell me.
26:53
So over-communicate over, over-exaggerate, whatever you need to do.
26:59
My job is to scale it back, is to put things into reality and see how
27:03
we can actually make things work
27:06
Buck: Oh yeah, and I think anyone who's naturally a sub knows, like, doing that
27:12
and basically getting that attention from your dom is a powerful thing.
27:17
Like, just doing the check-ins I can imagine being quite enjoyable
27:22
in its own way for a sub.
27:23
Jasper: Yeah.
27:24
Yeah.
27:24
Buck: Yeah
27:25
Jasper: it's really funny because I … There's either two modes that
27:28
people are in when it comes to my clients.
27:30
Either I They never do a check-in.
27:33
So past the first couple weeks, I stop reminding you the to, you to do the
27:38
Buck: Mmhmm
27:38
Jasper: I, feel like I, I make this a
27:40
Buck: Yeah
27:41
Jasper: a pretty strong point.
27:42
So after a couple weeks, I stop reminding people to do check-ins.
27:44
So either people are one of two ways.
27:46
Either they just don't do the check-ins, and then three weeks go
27:50
by and I'm like, "Yo, is my fucking check-in?" or they will do the check-in
27:56
immediately when it's assigned.
27:59
Say it's, say it's assigned on a
28:00
Buck: Yeah
28:01
Jasper: I'll wake up at 7:00 AM, they already have their in, and they're sending
28:04
me a, they're sending me a message.
28:05
They're like coach I have my check-in.
28:07
I'm waiting for your feedback."
28:10
And I get it, 'cause
28:11
My check-ins to my coach, and my coach is not gay or anything.
28:14
He's,
28:14
Buck: Yeah
28:15
Jasper: least most bro-est bro of all.
28:17
I will send my check-in, and I'm, like, literally just waiting by the phone like,
28:20
"Oh my God at any point he's gonna, he's gonna send me a message and be like,
28:24
Buck: Yeah
28:25
Jasper: boy.'"
28:28
Yeah.
28:28
So it's definitely really exciting to do the, to get feedback from the check-in.
28:33
So when I do my check-ins, I'm usually shirtless.
28:36
Usually after a workout, so I'm, like, nice and pumped and stuff like that.
28:39
And and I just see
28:42
Buck: Yeah
28:43
Jasper: on.
28:43
And it's The check-ins are such a privilege for me because You end up
28:49
telling a lot about yourself and ends up becoming like a really vulnerable thing.
28:54
One of the questions on my list is name one thing-- name one win
29:01
success that you had this week.
29:02
It doesn't have to be coaching related or fitness related.
29:06
And I've gotten things from "I got this job that I've been looking
29:10
for, that is like my dream job.
29:13
Thank you because I would have never had the willpower to just keep applying if I
29:18
didn't have like some of the principles that I've learned through your program,"
29:21
to, "I have been trying to get these ten pounds off for the past ten years, and
29:28
somehow I was able to do it in ten weeks."
29:31
Just some like really like powerful things that people have told me about
29:35
just like getting their gym confidence back, being able to take pictures in the
29:38
locker room, being able to take their shirt off when they go to a cookout.
29:42
Like things like that are just like they, they're huge momentous events
29:49
and as a coach I am truly honored that I get to experience those
29:55
and give those gifts to my subs.
29:57
That's as a mentor, as a coach, as a sir,
30:00
Buck: Угу
30:01
Jasper: like that is my greatest gift.
30:03
I-- it's fun to, to get my rocks off and to fuck a big hole faggot.
30:11
But at the same
30:12
Buck: Yeah.
30:14
Jasper: my, my true joy, what really gets me off is seeing a boy succeed and do what
30:20
they said that they were gonna do or do what they didn't think that they could do
30:24
Buck: So, I mean, when we started talking, you talked about, like, really getting
30:28
turned on by muscle subs as a concept.
30:31
Is that the main driver?
30:32
And what other parts of muscle subs are, like, appealing to you?
30:39
Jasper: Well, don't really lo- Well, okay, I'm not necessarily draw,
30:45
drawn to a muscle sub specifically.
30:48
I think that muscular body, a fit body, is the personification
30:57
someone can do one thing for
31:00
Buck: Mmhmm
31:01
Jasper: time and
31:02
Buck: Yeah
31:03
Jasper: That's the only thing that
31:05
Buck: Mmhmm
31:05
Jasper: To me.
31:06
Of course, it's visually stimulating,
31:07
Buck: Yeah.
31:08
Jasper: mental aspect of it, like that's really hot.
31:12
That's what I love.
31:12
Okay, are we talking about like other things that I like?
31:14
Are you talking about like physically things that I like?
31:17
Buck: Any and all.
31:18
The, the, the table is open
31:21
Jasper: I really like a, a sub with a really big, juicy muscle ass.
31:27
Buck: Uh-huh
31:28
Jasper: In particular, one that can take big things, like big
31:33
dildos, big this, or just gates,
31:37
Buck: yeah.
31:38
Yeah
31:38
Jasper: I love a big boy with a big hole.
31:40
Those I like.
31:42
I like when muscle subs dress really slutty in the gym.
31:46
Buck: Mm-hmm
31:48
Jasper: I'm not necessarily into a, a himbo physique if you…
31:55
Or not physique.
31:56
Buck: mentality
31:58
Jasper: Wardrobe?
31:59
Buck: Okay, well, yeah
32:01
Jasper: Like just the, like the bright colors, things like
32:03
Buck: Yeah.
32:03
Yeah
32:05
Jasper: y- I, for me personally, I'm like a more like muted, cool guy.
32:10
Like the guy who's like wearing a big hoodie to the gym 'cause he doesn't
32:12
want people to see him without his pump.
32:14
Buck: Yeah
32:15
Jasper: I love that 'cause I'm like, "Ooh, I'm gonna get you to take your shirt off."
32:18
Buck: It's a challenge
32:19
Jasper: a challenge.
32:20
Yeah.
32:20
Yeah.
32:21
But I love a boy that shows off.
32:22
I
32:23
Buck: Mmhmm
32:23
Jasper: love, confidence, I love like a slutty boy in a thong.
32:26
That's I try to get all my clients to wear thongs, know?
32:30
I'm like, "Okay, you're going to the gym.
32:32
You're like working out.
32:33
You're working hard.
32:35
you in a thong," like to add that extra like sluttiness about it because
32:40
there is definitely something about just like in the professional world,
32:44
you gotta dress for the job you want.
32:45
Well, guess what?
32:47
Dress like a slut, okay?
32:49
Dress like a slut and you'll get treated like a slut.
32:51
So I just I love that about muscle boys, but any- anyone who is putting
32:59
the effort towards actually becoming that version of themselves that they
33:04
want to be and they they practice it in what they do and especially what
33:10
they wear, then that's what I'm into
33:14
Buck: Oh yeah, and I speak from experience, it can be this sort
33:17
of felt self-feeding loop where the sluttier you dress, the more
33:22
you're motivated to work out.
33:24
And especially associating it with the gym and going, "Okay, this is my
33:28
workout uniform where I dress slutty,"
33:32
Jasper: Yeah
33:32
Buck: has that mental gear shift in it
33:35
Jasper: Exactly.
33:35
Then you start
33:36
Buck: Hmm.
33:36
Jasper: looking better in those outfits, and then you start buying more outfits,
33:40
Buck: Угу
33:40
Jasper: it just, it keeps going on and on.
33:43
I love that for sure.
33:44
I do-- I love when a boy sends me flex.
33:49
I think that's one of the hottest things that a boy can do just 'cause
33:51
it's like, A, I did the thing that I was supposed to do, B, I feel
33:56
so much better because I did it,
33:58
Buck: Yeah
33:59
Jasper: now I get to show off for my…
34:00
Sorry.
34:01
And
34:01
Buck: Mm-hmm
34:02
Jasper: everyone loves to show off
34:04
Buck: Oh, yeah.
34:05
I- I- I- it's kind of addictive, I have to say.
34:08
Jasper: Yeah, it's very addicting.
34:09
Buck: Yeah.
34:11
Jasper: I actually had to stop, spend a lot of time
34:15
Buck: Mm-hmm
34:15
Jasper: pictures after my workouts, and I was wasting a lot of time in the gym.
34:18
So I'm like, "Okay, I need to stop and limit this." Luckily, at the gym that I
34:23
go to we have paid parking and there's a limit to it, so I have to be out
34:28
of that, that gym at a certain time.
34:30
So that's like my own little self boundaries
34:36
Buck: Yeah.
34:37
I mean, it can, especially like… It is one of those things at the gym, and this
34:42
is just me griping, is like you get people who I've seen them like physically bring
34:48
in their like phone ring light stands and set up the video shots and like I
34:56
get you are making a career out of this probably, but also this is a public space.
35:01
We are trying to work around crowded equipment with a lot of weight.
35:05
It's
35:06
Jasper: Yeah.
35:07
Okay, so I will say this, I will say this.
35:12
So I have a very love-hate relationship with people who record in the gym.
35:21
But it favors towards love.
35:26
I think that
35:31
Okay, so I want more people to record themselves in the gym a couple reasons.
35:36
One, I think that there is so much that you can learn from
35:41
watching how you move in space.
35:43
I think that a lot of times people will do a workout an exercise and
35:49
they'll do it and they're like, "Oh, I feel good." Move on to the next one
35:54
What I have my clients do is anytime you have a question about something,
35:59
anytime you're not sure about a workout,
36:01
Buck: Mmhmm
36:01
Jasper: of yourself doing it, send me the video so I can give you form checks.
36:06
tell you how many times someone is doing a workout they're like, "Oh,
36:11
I'm doing my Romanian deadlifts." And I'm like, "You're not working
36:16
your hamstrings at all, actually.
36:18
You're not doing the movement at all." They're like, "I've been doing this
36:21
exercise for years." And I'm like, "Well, you've never been doing it right."
36:26
Buck: Угу
36:26
Jasper: So it's important to look at yourself to do things,
36:30
and that's why obviously in gyms there's a bunch of mirrors.
36:33
It's not just to look at yourself, well, like in
36:36
Buck: Yeah
36:36
Jasper: it's also to look at your form.
36:37
So I think it's very important for people to take pictures of
36:40
themselves or video of themselves.
36:42
I think it's also important because there is so much motivational
36:47
content that we all consume people recording themselves in the gym.
36:53
I think that if we start to not villainize but, start to talk down
36:59
Buck: Yeah
37:00
Jasper: aspect, like this thing that like people become like too shy
37:03
about and I'm like, it's not really
37:04
Buck: Yeah
37:04
Jasper: need to be shy about.
37:05
Now, on the reverse, are some people that completely take advantage of
37:10
the situation, like bringing a whole light ring setup, at my gym just had,
37:17
a, the, ring light and a microphone with the little fuzzy things on it,
37:22
Buck: Mmhmm
37:22
Jasper: I'm like We're-- This is not Discovery Channel.
37:25
We're not doing a whole
37:27
Buck: Yeah
37:28
Jasper: right?
37:29
You don't need all that and honestly I understand, sometimes
37:32
you need to push yourself further.
37:34
Sometimes you need to up your quality game, things like that.
37:37
But… And, I will say it was just me and two other people in the
37:42
gym, and he was very respectful.
37:44
He did it in his own
37:44
Buck: Mmhmm
37:45
Jasper: But sometimes just the visual of it is off-putting, and you just
37:50
feel some, some type of way about it.
37:52
Even myself, someone who advocates for people doing that.
37:55
Buck: Yeah
37:56
Jasper: You have to be respectful of the space that you're in, obviously.
37:59
You have to use common sense that I have definitely seen people
38:01
who take it way to the extreme.
38:04
There, there was a time when four guys were coming in here, and they
38:08
were all filming themselves, and they were taking up two machines so
38:10
they could film this content, and I'm
38:12
Buck: Yeah
38:12
Jasper: "Okay, that is not right." You need to talk to the manager, find
38:16
out when are the least busy times, and that's when you need to come and do that.
38:19
You can come at five AM when there's no one here.
38:21
You can come the
38:22
Buck: Exactly
38:23
Jasper: when no one's here.
38:24
So I-- So there is definitely a time and a place for it, but I do want
38:30
to encourage people to do it more.
38:33
Also, I think that a lot of times people won't do it out of fear.
38:37
So a lot of times I'll ask people to do
38:40
Buck: Mmhmm
38:40
Jasper: check video, and they're like, "Oh, I can't do that.
38:42
That's so embarrassing.
38:43
I can't have people see me record myself." I'm like what's the fear in
38:50
that?" You're afraid that someone's gonna look at you and judge you
38:54
because you wanna look at yourself.
38:57
They can think that all they want to.
38:59
Buck: Yeah.
39:00
Jasper: They might think even worse things, but that's not your
39:02
responsibility to worry about them.
39:04
Buck: Mmhmm
39:04
Jasper: as you're being respectful, as long as you know you're not
39:06
getting somebody doing their workout and getting someone in
39:10
their slutty uniform, that's fine.
39:13
Yeah, love-hate, love-hate with the video recording in the gym, you
39:17
Buck: But I can, I can get that especially, like, a lot of power
39:23
exchange, it's that kind of case of, well, if you're not being pushed a
39:27
little bit out your comfort zone,
39:29
Jasper: Yeah
39:30
Buck: it, you know, that can be fun in a power exchange.
39:34
And your dom going, "Okay, you're gonna do this little action in public.
39:38
It's not gonna be big.
39:39
It's not like exposing yourself to other people, but it is just you're gonna
39:43
push yourself in public to do something you're a little bit embarrassed to do,
39:47
Jasper: Exactly.
39:47
Buck: doing it for me."
39:49
Jasper: Exactly.
39:50
Yes,
39:50
Buck: Yeah
39:51
Jasper: Oh, I love-- I didn't even think about it that way,
39:53
but I love that even more.
39:54
I'm gonna start framing it that way.
39:56
Buck: Nice.
39:56
Glad I could help.
39:58
Jasper: I love that
40:00
Buck: So we're coming up to time.
40:02
I would like to wrap up with one thing we always ask about any
40:06
kink, fetish, formal play is safety concerns people need to know.
40:11
Now, I imagine there's some standard ones for the gym.
40:15
Do you wanna go through anything you feel would be relevant?
40:18
Jasper: Yeah, absolutely.
40:19
I will say something that, Let's talk about performance
40:22
enhancing, enhancing drugs.
40:25
I think that is something that is huge in the gym culture obviously, but
40:31
it's also very big in the gay culture.
40:33
Find that with the prevalence of these muscle boys in- on Twitter, X
40:41
and just on Instagram and stuff like that, people look at these bodies
40:46
and really want that now, right?
40:49
And
40:50
Buck: Yeah
40:50
Jasper: to PEDs.
40:52
Buck: Mm-hmm.
40:52
Jasper: So one thing I want to do is reframe that conversation when it
40:58
comes to realizing how rare it is a lot of times to have these types of
41:04
bodies and how long they don't last.
41:08
So there was a study done about body fat percentages,
41:13
Buck: Mm-hmm
41:14
Jasper: and people were asking about people who people were being
41:17
asked "How many people do you think are 12% body fat and lower?" Men.
41:24
And people were like, "Oh, I don't know." I think the-- and that was
41:26
out of 200,000 men, and people were like, "Oh, I don't know, 200,
41:32
500, 1,000." Out of 200,000 men.
41:35
Do you have a guess how many?
41:38
Buck: I'm guessing way lower.
41:41
I think it's probably gonna be around 100
41:46
Jasper: It's one.
41:46
One.
41:46
Buck: One?
41:47
Wow.
41:48
Jasper: In the United States, one out of every 200,000 people are 12% body fat.
41:55
So even though it looks so common online, even though it looks like that's
42:02
just what you should look like, it is very uncommon, and it takes a lot
42:07
of discipline and a lot of willpower, and drugs will not help you get there
42:12
Buck: Yeah
42:13
Jasper: They will help you get there very short term, but as soon as you
42:16
come off of them, it will go away.
42:18
So the one thing I always tell boys is that I am happy to
42:24
discuss these things with you,
42:26
Buck: Mm-hmm.
42:27
Jasper: but not before you earn them.
42:30
So I need to see months of dedication.
42:33
I need to see months of adherence to my plan, that you're
42:37
actually doing your meal prep.
42:39
You're not just,
42:40
Buck: Угу
42:40
Jasper: ordering stuff online, that only goes so far.
42:44
You're, that you're living the life someone who does these things,
42:49
and then we can talk about that.
42:50
But it is something that's, that gets looked to as the first line of action when
42:57
really it's like 10th, maybe 12th line of action, we shouldn't even be having
43:04
that conversation in our initial call.
43:06
I would say safety concerns, get that out of your mind.
43:10
All right?
43:11
We're not doing that.
43:12
Buck: Yeah
43:12
Jasper: to learn the actual habits that build change and momentum.
43:16
Obviously, talk to your doc- to your doctor before, you do any
43:20
type of workout plan, to be honest.
43:23
You just say "Hey, I'm gonna be doing a workout plan.
43:26
Is this okay?" Your doctor might be like, "Well, your blood pressure
43:29
is through the roof, so let's like,
43:31
Buck: Oh yeah, yeah
43:32
Jasper: to mitigate that first before you start yo- going on the treadmill."
43:36
I don't have people do intense cardio.
43:38
Buck: Mmhmm
43:38
Jasper: Before you start doing that, let's start doing that or, maybe I
43:41
have you on a meal plan, and it's like I'm allergic to B. I don't
43:47
Buck: Yeah
43:47
Jasper: You need… Those are things that you need to figure out before we do that.
43:49
I don't want anyone to
43:56
Yeah.
43:56
So okay, so that's that.
43:58
Buck: Yeah,
43:58
Jasper: think another concern would probably be to check your ego at the door
44:04
when it comes to like this coaching and stuff like that because through social
44:11
media, through bunk science, we have all have our ideas of things that work.
44:18
Know, "I should be having 1,500 calories a day 'cause that's what
44:21
this one guy said," or, "I need to be having 3,000 grams of carbs a day
44:26
'cause that's what this other guy
44:27
Buck: yeah
44:28
Jasper: When you come to work with me I am the end-all, say-all.
44:32
I, I--
44:33
Buck: Mmhmm
44:33
Jasper: have a conversation, right?
44:34
Because I need to have this
44:35
Buck: Mmhmm
44:36
Jasper: into your life.
44:37
But I know things that work for 90% of bodies, right?
44:45
You do not.
44:46
You go on you find all this stuff.
44:48
I have studied this stuff.
44:50
This is is not only like my passion, but it is my job.
44:53
Check your ego at the door.
44:55
Come in ready to work, ready to learn, ready to grow.
45:00
And don't push yourself too hard and enjoy the ride.
45:04
It sounds so cheesy, but it's true.
45:07
Like fitness is a journey, not a destination.
45:11
If you treat this the right way, you will get the body that you want as a byproduct
45:18
of the actions that you already do.
45:21
I don't want somebody who's gonna come to my program and be like, "I need to lose
45:25
10 pounds in three months 'cause I wanna look hot." That's a good goal, right?
45:30
But
45:30
Buck: Yeah
45:31
Jasper: I can get you to lose more pounds than that and just
45:35
Buck: Mmhmm
45:35
Jasper: doing things that you should be doing and things that
45:38
like months down the road you're gonna be like, "This is so easy.
45:41
This is so brainless.
45:42
All I have to do is the same thing over and over again, and like I'm
45:46
actually eating foods that I like.
45:47
I get to eat ice cream every night.
45:49
I get
45:49
Buck: Yeah
45:50
Jasper: Walk on the treadmill while I watch my favorite
45:52
TV shows." Stuff like that.
45:56
Buck: Yeah
45:56
no, that's great advice.
45:57
I mean, especially, like,
46:00
enjoying the journey, like enjoying the process is so important for this because,
46:07
yeah, like if you … And again, this applies to both, like working out and
46:13
kink, where it's like, well, once you achieve that goal, is that gonna be it?
46:19
Jasper: Right
46:20
Buck: taking joy from the process is most of where the fun is.
46:26
Jasper: Yeah, exactly.
46:27
Buck: Yeah
46:28
Jasper: That's why I always encourage people, take your post-workout pictures.
46:31
Buck: Mm-hmm
46:32
Jasper: once you get courageous enough post them on your close friends content.
46:35
Also get a good feedback cycle going with people that you care about.
46:39
And the thing about fitness is that it will take over your whole life.
46:44
Not to say that you're gonna be like this fitness nut, but the people
46:47
around you will be affected by it.
46:49
And listen, that could be good or bad, okay?
46:52
Buck: Mm-hmm
46:52
Jasper: That could be good or bad.
46:53
I've had some clients that have had very good success, and the people around them
46:59
were unintentionally sabotaging them.
47:02
Buck: Mm-hmm
47:02
Jasper: had other clients where they were having success, and then
47:06
their husband was like, "I see what you're doing with my husband.
47:10
Do it with me too." I'm like, "Okay, great." So
47:14
Buck: Yeah.
47:15
Jasper: It will affect
47:16
Buck: Mmhmm
47:16
Jasper: you, and the only way that you're gonna be able to be able to handle that
47:20
mentally is to fall in love with it.
47:23
Find a way
47:25
Buck: Угу
47:25
Jasper: to fall in love with it, everything is glamorous about
47:28
it, but I would say most of it, a lot of it can be really fun.
47:33
So dressing like a slut, that's a pretty good
47:37
Buck: Mm-hmm.
47:39
Oh, definitely.
47:40
'Cause it does have a knock-on effect to a lot of portions of your life.
47:44
I mean, just, like, sticking to the topish, topic of fetish and sex, like,
47:49
when you are eating well at the gym f- like, to gain muscle, like, bottoming
47:55
becomes way harder to plan for.
47:57
Like, yeah
47:58
Jasper: Yeah, it does.
48:00
It becomes a lot harder to plan for, but also a lot more predictable,
48:03
Buck: Mmhmm
48:04
Jasper: you
48:04
Buck: That is true.
48:05
Jasper: the same
48:06
Buck: Mmhmm
48:06
Jasper: again.
48:06
So for the most part, you're not gonna be like, "Oh, I ate something wrong that
48:10
made my stomach hurt." Well, you've been eating the same thing for two months now.
48:13
So if anything, you can just shift those meals back a couple hours.
48:17
Buck: Yeah
48:18
Jasper: I have a session later today with one of my, one of my tops and I
48:22
had to make sure I ate my meal an hour
48:26
Buck: Yeah.
48:26
Jasper: had enough time.
48:27
So you know, th- things like that, it just… And it becomes so easy.
48:31
It becomes so easy once you're in a routine.
48:33
You don't have to guess and things like that.
48:34
It becomes a lot harder when it comes to, bottoming, when you're bulking and when
48:38
you're cutting, to be honest, 'cause when you're cutting too, people you still have
48:42
to eat a lot of food when you're cutting.
48:43
Buck: Yeah
48:44
Jasper: So you know, things like that it affects everything about your life.
48:47
And so if you're not ready to give up some control, then I don't know.
48:54
Buck: Yeah.
48:55
I, I mean, as discussed, giving up control can be a big part of the fun.
49:01
So yeah.
49:04
So yeah, thank you so much for coming on.
49:06
This has been a real education.
49:08
It, it's
49:08
like,
49:09
Jasper: For having me
49:10
Buck: of course, like we've covered like kink in the gym before, but never to this
49:15
specifici- specificity, and it's nice to talk with someone who actually lives it.
49:20
You so much.
49:20
Where can people find you if they wanna get in touch, maybe look at your programs?
49:26
Jasper: Yeah.
49:27
The easiest way is through my Instagram.
49:29
It's the_fitness_dom.
49:32
You can also go to my website.
49:34
It's welltrained.fitness.
49:36
And you can find me there.
49:38
I have a book called The Discipline System.
49:40
It's on Amazon, or you can also order it on my on my website as well.
49:45
But Instagram is, like, where everyone finds me, so just come hang out there
49:49
Buck: Nice.
49:50
And I can, really can recommend your Instagram stories.
49:53
Those posing pics are brilliant.
49:55
Jasper: so much.
49:58
Buck: Cool.
49:58
Jasper: I love to show off and I love to dress like a slut, so if
50:01
for nothing else, follow me for that
50:05
Buck: So yeah thank you for coming on.
50:07
And as always, listeners, play safe
50:14
Yeah.
50:14
That was wonderful.
50:15
Thank you very much