Latest / New Manager Conversations with Fexingo: First 90 Days, Managing Former Peers, and Leadership Basics / How New Managers Can Handle Imposter Syndrome
Transcript
- Lucas: So, Luna, you remember that feeling — you've just been promoted to manager, and you're sitting in your first leadership meeting, nodding along, and inside you're thinking, 'Any minute now, someone's going to realize I have no idea what I'm doing.' Luna: Oh, absolutely. I think I spent my first month waiting for the tap on the shoulder. It's so common, but we rarely talk about it in a practical way. Lucas: Right, and that's what we're digging into today — imposter syndrome, specifically for new managers. It's not just a buzzword; there's real psychology behind it, and there are things you can do about it. Luna: Let's start with the term itself. It was coined back in 1978 by psychologists Pauline Rose Clance and Suzanne Imes. They studied high-achieving women, but we know now it hits all genders and especially new managers. Lucas: Yeah, and the core of it is this persistent fear of being exposed as a fraud, even when you have clear evidence of your competence. For new managers, that evidence might feel thin because you're suddenly in a role where the skills that got you promoted aren't the ones you need. Luna: Exactly. You were a great individual contributor, and now you're supposed to lead, delegate, influence — all these new things. It's a perfect breeding ground for self-doubt. Lucas: So let's unpack the 'imposter cycle.' Clance described it as a loop: you get a task or a new responsibility, you feel anxious, so you either over-prepare or procrastinate. Then you succeed, but you attribute it to luck or hard work, not ability. And the cycle repeats. Luna: And the kicker is that the anxiety never really goes away, because you never internalize your success. That's why 'fake it till you make it' doesn't work — it just feeds the loop. Lucas: Right. So what's a better strategy? Let's talk about practical moves. Lucas: One that I've seen work is to keep a 'win log.' A simple document where you note down one thing you did well each day, with a specific outcome. It's not bragging; it's evidence. When the doubt hits, you go back and read it. Luna: I love that. It's like building your own case file. And it's especially useful when you're managing former peers — you might feel like they're questioning you, but the log reminds you of your value. Lucas: Another one is to reframe your thoughts. Instead of saying 'I'm not ready,' say 'This is new, and I'm learning.' It sounds simple, but it changes your relationship with the discomfort. Luna: And that's where a mentor comes in handy. Having someone who's been there can normalize those feelings. A good mentor will tell you, 'Yeah, I felt that too — and here's what I did.' Lucas: Absolutely. And the thing is, imposter syndrome often spikes when you're trying to be perfect. But leadership isn't about perfection; it's about making decisions with the information you have and adjusting when you learn more. Luna: I remember my first manager telling me, 'You're not supposed to have all the answers. Your job is to help the team find them.' That took so much pressure off. Lucas: Yeah, that's a great reframe. And it connects to something we've touched on in past episodes — like managing former peers. The fear of being seen as a fraud is amplified when you're suddenly the boss of your friends. Luna: And if you're also the youngest, or leading people with more experience, it compounds. But the same toolkit applies: evidence, self-compassion, and a willingness to learn publicly. Lucas: So, to pull it together: imposter syndrome is common, it's a cycle, and you can break it by documenting wins, reframing your thoughts, seeking mentorship, and letting go of perfectionism. Luna: And maybe the most freeing realization is that everyone feels it sometimes. It doesn't mean you're inadequate; it means you're growing. Lucas: If today's conversation gave you a new way to think about your own self-doubt, that's exactly the kind of thing we want to keep bringing you. And the reason we can do that without ads is listener support — so if you found this useful, you can buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. Luna: Yeah, it's a small way to keep these conversations coming. And every little bit helps us stay independent. Lucas: Back to the imposter cycle — one more thing that really helps is talking about it out loud. When you name the feeling, it loses some of its power. And you'd be surprised how many of your colleagues have been there too. Luna: So maybe the first step is just telling a peer, 'Hey, I'm feeling like a fraud today.' It's a way to get support and normalize it for others. Lucas: Exactly. And if you're managing a team, you can also create an environment where it's okay to not know everything. That builds psychological safety, which we talked about in a previous episode. Luna: Right, because if you're open about your own learning curve, your direct reports are more likely to admit when they're stuck, which is good for everyone. Lucas: So, to sum up: imposter syndrome is a normal part of stepping into a new role, but it doesn't have to define you. Use your win log, reframe your thoughts, find a mentor, and be kind to yourself. Luna: And remember, the goal isn't to eliminate self-doubt entirely, but to keep it from holding you back. Lucas: Next time you're in that meeting and the fear creeps in, take a breath. You've got this. And we'll be here to help you along the way.