Latest / Happy You. Happy Dog. / Who Are You Becoming Because You Love Your Pet?

Transcript

Who Are You Becoming Because You Love Your Pet? · Happy You. Happy Dog.

• 0:00
  Coco Moon: Hello, darling. Before we begin, I am so excited
• 0:04
  to tell you today I have someone super special, my middle son
• 0:09
  Joe, with me and my lad. He's an actor, director, writer, and
• 0:15
  photojournalist in L.A. and he's the dad to his black kitty and
• 0:20
  player. Would you like to say hello?
• 0:24
  Josef “Joe” Akira: She came to say hello too.
• 0:27
  Coco Moon: Oh, hi, baby. Hi, hi, hi,
• 0:32
  Josef “Joe” Akira: love.
• 0:34
  Coco Moon: Hi, I love her emerald green eyes.
• 0:37
  Josef “Joe” Akira: Yeah, I'm hoping she'll just stay in my
• 0:39
  lap, but we probably have five minutes before she comes
• 0:42
  Coco Moon: on. That's okay. Thanks for coming, Ayla.
• 0:47
  Josef “Joe” Akira: Yeah, she came right in time.
• 0:48
  Coco Moon: So lovely to see you. So, for somebody who's never met
• 0:55
  Aela, how would you describe her?
• 0:59
  Josef “Joe” Akira: Well, Ayla, she's really sweet and she loves
• 1:03
  people. Like I just had um, I just used my apartment for a
• 1:07
  base camp for a short film, and there was probably like 15 to 20
• 1:10
  people that came through, and I had to like section off my my
• 1:15
  back part of my studio, and she was scratching the whole time
• 1:19
  because she just wants pets. She wants to meet people. Really,
• 1:23
  just very social. She doesn't like other cats, but she likes
• 1:26
  people.
• 1:27
  Coco Moon: Yeah, she's the star of the show all the time. She
• 1:31
  Josef “Joe” Akira: runs this studio. This is not my studio.
• 1:35
  Coco Moon: How did you two find each other?
• 1:39
  Josef “Joe” Akira: It happened during COVID. Must have happened
• 1:43
  within two or three months of COVID. I was seeing this girl.
• 1:47
  She told me about some cats. Or no, I think she just invited me
• 1:54
  to her friend's place because they were like her friend had a
• 1:57
  pool, and then I actually brought Emilio. And then it
• 2:00
  turned out that the owner of the house had a litter of kittens
• 2:04
  that were just running around everywhere. And then a
• 2:08
  conversation happened, and then I picked one up. It was Ayla.
• 2:12
  She bit me and scratched me, and I was like, "This is this is the
• 2:17
  one. And then I think two two weeks later, because they had to
• 2:20
  be weaned by the mom, I believe, for a little bit longer. I had
• 2:24
  to wait for that period to end, and I went and grabbed her, and
• 2:30
  then six years later, she's still here.
• 2:33
  Coco Moon: Time flies. It's been six years. Wow.
• 2:37
  Josef “Joe” Akira: Yeah, I think it was June or July of 2020 when
• 2:40
  I got her, yeah.
• 2:42
  Coco Moon: Um, what did you think you were getting when
• 2:46
  Ayala came into your life, and what did you actually get?
• 2:52
  Josef “Joe” Akira: Um, I thought I was going to get a cute little
• 2:54
  kitty cat that wanted to sit next to me, be on my lap all the
• 2:59
  time, and then I got a cat who had her own personality and does
• 3:04
  not do what I want.
• 3:08
  Coco Moon: So, did you understand her right away, or
• 3:10
  did you have to learn how to be with her?
• 3:14
  Josef “Joe” Akira: I think because I got her as a kitten,
• 3:17
  it was kind of easy to train her. Again, super playful, is
• 3:20
  super sweet. Everyone loved her, you know. And then, eventually,
• 3:26
  she really learned my personality and came into her
• 3:29
  own personality. So, whenever she wants anything, she just
• 3:32
  screams, pees on my stuff, or throws up on my stuff, and then
• 3:36
  she gets what she wants.
• 3:38
  Coco Moon: So that's the way she's telling you, or she's
• 3:41
  communicating with you.
• 3:43
  Josef “Joe” Akira: She's super smart because I've been gone a
• 3:45
  lot for this short film. She's been peeing and doing stuff a
• 3:50
  lot more lately, and I just had to like just eventually realize
• 3:54
  that she's a cat. She can't speak. There's there's stuff
• 3:58
  that she's annoyed at. Like maybe I didn't pick up her
• 4:01
  letterbox, you know. So like within the last six years, it
• 4:05
  really showed me like, hey, like she's not just doing this stuff
• 4:09
  just to do it. Like she is being a brat some of the times, but a
• 4:13
  lot of the times she has like an actual reason. Either I forgot
• 4:15
  to feed her, I didn't give her enough attention, or the
• 4:20
  letterbox. But yeah, she's very, very intelligent.
• 4:24
  Coco Moon: I think. Well, as you know, I have you know four mana
• 4:28
  and Hokusoda and Haru, and each of them have their own like
• 4:33
  unique way communicating with me or telling me what they want or
• 4:38
  what's going on with them. Other people may, you know, get mad or
• 4:43
  look look at just you know what's going on. Oh my gosh, she
• 4:47
  peed, or oh my gosh, you know the little box is just a mess.
• 4:52
  Where you came in and understanding. Okay, wait a
• 4:57
  minute. This is the way she is. You know. Me something, you
• 5:01
  know. She's communicating with me, and I think that's
• 5:03
  wonderful. Took years,
• 5:08
  Josef “Joe” Akira: especially when I'm in production. I'm
• 5:09
  stressed. I just immediately go into. She's just, you know,
• 5:14
  doing it, and it's annoying.
• 5:17
  Coco Moon: But
• 5:17
  Josef “Joe” Akira: then a few hours, a couple days, I then I
• 5:20
  realized, oh, it was it was that, but definitely took a long
• 5:24
  time to get there. Right, it's not easy, as you know, with
• 5:28
  Coco Moon: a cat. Of course, how does she show you affection? Her
• 5:34
  affection just with you,
• 5:38
  Josef “Joe” Akira: only when she wants food. Her her sign of
• 5:43
  affection is waking me up at six a.m. meowing. I don't follow up
• 5:48
  by 630 meowing. Meowing. But there there are a few times
• 5:54
  where she'll just come up and try to not snuggle or show want
• 5:58
  affection. But really, it's funny what she does when I'm
• 6:04
  like, let's say I was gone 6p.m. to six a.m2. nights this
• 6:10
  weekend. She'll just ignore me and just like kind of do a lot
• 6:14
  of this kind of stuff, and then I'll just like I'll like grab
• 6:18
  her and just like hold her, and then she'll like me out for like
• 6:22
  two seconds, and then just melt into my arms. Yeah, you just
• 6:26
  wanted attention, and you just didn't want to say that you
• 6:28
  wanted attention. You wanted me to pick you up, forcefully grab
• 6:32
  you, hug you, and then you wanted to try to fight it off.
• 6:36
  But you, her fighting off, was not fighting off. You know.
• 6:40
  Coco Moon: Yeah, she's making sure you know how much she
• 6:43
  missed you, in her sassy way,
• 6:47
  Josef “Joe” Akira: or she's just like, "I don't want you to do
• 6:50
  this, but I want it.
• 6:52
  Coco Moon: She's such a queen. So, was there anything about her
• 6:58
  that you initially wished were different, but eventually
• 7:03
  realized was simply part of who she is. You already, you know,
• 7:08
  talked a little bit about that, but tell me more about that.
• 7:11
  Josef “Joe” Akira: I want, I want a lap cat. The other kid in
• 7:14
  my head would just literally just sit on my lap for hours,
• 7:19
  and then I would be like, "All right, my legs sleep. I don't
• 7:21
  have to have to move it. I get maybe five seconds with her in
• 7:25
  my laptop. She's a zoop and she's off. But again, that's her
• 7:29
  personality. Can't change it, and I wouldn't change
• 7:35
  Coco Moon: it. Has she ever made you confront your own
• 7:38
  expectations?
• 7:41
  Josef “Joe” Akira: I can't have expectations with her because
• 7:45
  she is so herself that I have to, you know, just like I can't
• 7:52
  expect anything from her. She's a cat and she has her own
• 7:54
  personality, so I've like kind of thrown away expectations. If
• 7:59
  I get cuddles with her for five seconds or a minute, I get it.
• 8:03
  If not, cool, moving on. If I'm um really tired and I have a fit
• 8:10
  away, I do expect cuddles. But you know, I'm gonna hug her for
• 8:15
  as long as she will let me, and then I'll let her go. Sometimes
• 8:18
  a little longer.
• 8:20
  Coco Moon: I. It sounds like you accept her as she is. Something
• 8:26
  I've been thinking about while creating this show is how easily
• 8:30
  it is to confuse loving someone with knowing what's best for
• 8:35
  them, or wanting them to behave in the way that makes the
• 8:40
  relationship easier for us. What happens when the being you love
• 8:46
  simply refuses to cooperate with your version of who they are
• 8:51
  supposed to be? When you think about who you were before I left
• 8:58
  and who you are now,
• 9:00
  Josef “Joe” Akira: I would say the two major things that have
• 9:04
  changed me in the last few years is one, her definitely like
• 9:08
  having to be responsible for her, making sure like I used to
• 9:14
  go out so much and not have to come back around dinner time to
• 9:18
  feed her, you know, or I could sleep over, you know, and be all
• 9:22
  out all night, and then like not have to worry about feeding her
• 9:25
  by eight a.m. you know. So having that and like traveling,
• 9:31
  obviously, then I'm like, as you know, like when you're
• 9:35
  traveling, your pets are all in the back of your mind, you know.
• 9:40
  So I think that kind of helped me mature into a person who had
• 9:43
  a little bit more discipline and responsibility, and then doing
• 9:47
  martial arts, which was my number two thing that has really
• 9:50
  helped mold me into the person I am today, because I did train a
• 9:55
  lot of different types of people, people with egos, people
• 9:58
  who are scared of martial. People who were too excited
• 10:03
  about doing martial arts, and my and it's 100% all the
• 10:09
  philosophies that my guru Danon Asanto has given me. But you you
• 10:13
  just can't change anyone. People need to change for themselves,
• 10:18
  and you trying to change them is just going to be an obstacle.
• 10:22
  You're just going to butt heads, or you won't butt heads. But I
• 10:26
  think that she also kind of adapts to my where I'm at
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  physiologically and emotionally, and then like kind of adapts
• 10:37
  just like the way I adapt with her, you know, which is really
• 10:40
  cool.
• 10:41
  Coco Moon: Over the years, you know, you've been with her, you
• 10:44
  know, six years, learning about each other, accepting who she
• 10:48
  is, and she accepting, you know, who you are, and I think she she
• 10:55
  knows that okay, Dad has been filming; he needs to sleep, like
• 11:02
  when we lost, you know, our co. Your brother Mana tuned into my
• 11:07
  emotions so much that you know Mana got sick, and she was
• 11:13
  emotionally, you know, all over the place. But that was what I
• 11:17
  was going through, reflecting onto Mana because we are so
• 11:23
  tuned in with each other.
• 11:25
  Josef “Joe” Akira: Yeah, and pets definitely reflect their
• 11:30
  owners' personalities for sure. Every every one of my friends
• 11:34
  who have pets, their their dog or their cat has a little bit of
• 11:38
  them in it, you know. And the sassiness probably comes from
• 11:41
  me.
• 11:42
  Coco Moon: Yeah, I remember when you got Aela; she became your
• 11:47
  priority. Not that like she changed who you are, but you
• 11:53
  expanded yourself by you know having Aela.
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  Josef “Joe” Akira: Once you have a life form that's dependent on
• 12:01
  you to feed it, water it, you know, clean up after
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  Coco Moon: it.
• 12:07
  Josef “Joe” Akira: You either got to step up or you don't.
• 12:09
  Coco Moon: So there is another reason I wanted to have this
• 12:14
  particular conversation with you. You've kind of always been
• 12:19
  very much your own person, and but as your mom loving you has
• 12:27
  also asked me to expand, to let you become you, rather than
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  holding too tightly to some picture or vision of who I
• 12:39
  thought my son would become. So I have one question that I've
• 12:48
  been waiting to ask you. Who do you think you are becoming
• 12:54
  because you love Isla?
• 12:57
  Josef “Joe” Akira: Um. Yeah, I don't. I don't know how to
• 13:01
  answer that. No, that's okay. So busy that like I don't even
• 13:04
  think about things or how I'm changing. I kind of just things
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  need to happen, and I just do them. And that's like what Ayla
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  taught me. Like, oh, am I annoyed that I have to wake up
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  at seven or eight to feed her? Who cares what I what I feel? I
• 13:21
  have to do it, so just get get the hell up, you know, and feed
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  her. You know, oh, maybe I want to stay over at this person's
• 13:28
  house way longer, or in the or in the morning, and then have
• 13:32
  lunch. But no, I have to head home at eight a.m. to feed my
• 13:35
  cat. You know, I was gonna say, like as a mom, you already know,
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  like once there are responsibilities, your wants and
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  needs no longer matter, and you just have to do and and do it.
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  You know, and that's the biggest biggest lesson I learned with
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  her.
• 13:53
  Coco Moon: Before show came along, you being the youngest,
• 13:56
  you were the baby of the family, and you know over the years. I'm
• 14:03
  just really, really proud of you, the man you have become.
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  You always kind of being true to yourself. I know that, but you
• 14:18
  found your passion. You found your dream, and you got into
• 14:25
  martial arts. You know which is part of our background, part of
• 14:31
  our tradition culture, and you learned so much of the principle
• 14:38
  behind that. And then you found your love in filming, directing,
• 14:45
  acting, but I have watched you expand yourself, staying true to
• 14:51
  yourself, always going forward, you know, towards what you
• 14:57
  believe, what you're passionate about, what you love. The most
• 15:01
  and watching my baby expand in that way-it's you inspire me,
• 15:10
  you encourage me to keep going, and I'm just so so proud of you.
• 15:23
  Josef “Joe” Akira: Yeah, I think like it wasn't only Ayla, but
• 15:27
  like being on my own since 18. Again, like you know, you don't
• 15:32
  have time to figure stuff out. You got to pay rent. You got to
• 15:35
  figure out your next move, and not. And I think lucky or
• 15:40
  unlucky, not having that support system starting in 18, you know,
• 15:45
  early just threw me into like, hey, like it's kind of all on
• 15:48
  you. Everything that you do, every decision that you make
• 15:52
  from now on, you actually feel the repercussions of it because
• 15:57
  you're on your own, you know. And then that just expanded when
• 16:02
  I got Ayla, you know, because then I not only had to offend
• 16:06
  for myself, but I had to fend for two people, you know. And as
• 16:10
  a single mom, like you freaking know that better than anyone,
• 16:14
  right? So like I'm proud of you for dealing with three rebel,
• 16:20
  troublesome kids growing up, you know. So yeah.
• 16:26
  Coco Moon: When you got Isla, I have to be, you know, completely
• 16:31
  transparent, honest that I did worry that you have now, you
• 16:37
  know, this little being that you're responsible for, and I
• 16:43
  wasn't sure at the time that how you're gonna be able to, you
• 16:50
  know, keep Aela, but you have you put her before you. Um, you
• 16:56
  moved around a lot too, and you've been so busy with
• 17:01
  multiple in different project, but you make choice every single
• 17:08
  day to put her in front of you and make her priority, and she knows.
• 17:16
  Josef “Joe” Akira: Yeah, one of my martial arts instructors told
• 17:18
  me this recently. Like Joe, your heart has always been there.
• 17:22
  You've always been that same person. It's just other people
• 17:26
  couldn't see that, you know. But once people do realize that,
• 17:31
  that's where that gold is. And now, because I'm not out there
• 17:36
  partying, being a troublemaker, it's a lot easier to see that
• 17:39
  side of me. But it's always been there, so I'm glad you get to
• 17:42
  see that. And I guess when I got Ayla, that was more apparent to
• 17:47
  you. But you know, he told me he's been making my, he's been
• 17:52
  helping me validate myself because I've, I've always been
• 17:56
  this person. You know, I've never not been a person with a
• 18:01
  big heart who cared about other people, you know. Maybe
• 18:06
  sometimes it was hidden, but it was always there, you know.
• 18:11
  Coco Moon: You always been that person with big heart, and that
• 18:15
  reminded me that you know you talk about how Aela in the
• 18:20
  mouths and get your attention. As a baby, you did that. You
• 18:25
  were, you know, out of all your brothers, you are the one who
• 18:31
  screamed for love, who screamed for attention, and you know, you
• 18:36
  were always picked up by. I mean, even I think you are in
• 18:41
  like first grade. You know, I still come to come to school to
• 18:46
  pick you up, and you know, I pick you up because you wanted
• 18:51
  me to, you know, hold you. And now, everything you do, your
• 18:56
  short film, you tell the story. You're storyteller in everything
• 19:02
  you do, and your love, your big heart does come through in all
• 19:07
  of the project or work you do. So you always been that person.
• 19:14
  Josef “Joe” Akira: And that's that's funny that you mentioned
• 19:17
  me as a baby because that is definitely one of she definitely
• 19:20
  reflects that. But I wish she would just want me to haul her
• 19:23
  more. I would carry her as much as she wanted. She just asked.
• 19:31
  Coco Moon: But I think it's so sweet that you don't push
• 19:36
  yourself onto her. Yes, you want more cuddles, you want lap cat,
• 19:42
  but you know who she is, and you just accept that. Listening to
• 19:48
  Joe makes me wonder, who are we becoming because we love our fur
• 19:54
  babies? Not who are they becoming because of us, but who
• 19:59
  are we becoming? Because we love this particular little soul, I
• 20:05
  just want us to notice we may be surprised by what we discover.
• 20:11
  Before we say goodbye, here is this week's little love message
• 20:17
  from my love messages from your pet oracle. This week's card is,
• 20:23
  I trust you. Sometimes love is simply making room for another
• 20:29
  being to be exactly who they are, and trust in the
• 20:34
  relationship that grows from here. Joe, thank you so much for
• 20:39
  being here with me and Manna, and for sharing a little bit of
• 20:45
  you and Aela with us. I love you so much.
• 20:49
  Josef “Joe” Akira: You too,
• 20:50
  Coco Moon: mom. I love to hear what you and your fur baby
• 20:55
  discovered together this week. Until then, take gentle care of
• 21:00
  yourself and your precious one, because your happiness matters.