Latest / The Oreaganic Podcast / 63: BTS of a Somatic Healing Retreat - My Experience & Biggest Takeaways

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63: BTS of a Somatic Healing Retreat - My Experience & Biggest Takeaways · The Oreaganic Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Hello, my friends.
• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome back to the organic podcast.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_01: Today is a really exciting episode and it has been pending.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_01: It's been incubating for literally weeks since I got back from my first ever retreat, which was the most beautiful, insane, like incredible experience that I knew I was gonna do a podcast about once I got back home.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_01: But wow, this has been like a really crazy bender of a past couple months.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_01: But right now, the only thing that's important is that I'm sat, I have time, I'm looking at a digital fireplace.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_01: I got a candle underneath a candle warmer right now.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna probably pause this midway to go cook some spaghetti meatballs.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I got time.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_01: We got time, guys.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_01: So I hope that you are sitting back and relaxing right now because this episode is literally going to be me just bringing you guys along for the whole journey and sharing my biggest takeaways, best moments, funny moments, like travel stories, just all the beautiful things.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_01: And for quick context, this was the Hot and Healed Retreat hosted by the one and only Becca Nichols.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_01: I've followed Becca for I think years at this point.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_01: She is a somatic and nervous system coach, and she fucking slays.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_01: And for those of you who are listening who might hear the word retreat or even like somatic healing, and you're like, literally, what the fuck is that?
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_01: Like, is this a cult?
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_01: Is this weird?
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_01: Is this like doing weird shit in the middle of nowhere with like a random group of strangers?
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_01: No, it is not, my friends.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_01: It may sound weird to people who have never heard of it before, but I can promise you, we're all completely normal people.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes to have the kind of life that not everyone has, you need to do the things that not everyone does and put yourself out of your comfort zone to have experiences like this.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_01: So this was literally the most beautiful retreat experience ever, and I have so much to share.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_01: So without further ado, let's get into the episode.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the organic podcast.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_01: I'm your host, Reagan, mechanical engineer, lifelong athlete, and recovered overachiever, here to empower you to pursue your highest potential and live freely as your happiest, most organic self.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_01: Every week we'll dive into topics ranging from personal growth, mindset hacks, psychology, and a blend of science and spirituality to give you all the tools you need to stop living on autopilot and start creating a life of freedom, meaning, and fulfillment as your most organic self.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_01: If you're ready to become the best person of yourself, so I'm gonna break this down for you guys day by day.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_01: This was a five-day total retreat.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_01: The first and last days were mostly travel days, but we still had aspects of the retreat that are very much so worth mentioning.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_01: The three full days that we had, so technically days two through four, were where we had like the bulk of like the bigger workshops and somatic experiences and everything, but I won't get ahead of myself.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_01: We're gonna start from the very beginning, day one, which actually started technically the day before.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_01: So this retreat was from a Wednesday to a Sunday, and it was in Italy, it was in Tuscany.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_01: We were in Florence, guys.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_01: We were in the the hills of Tuscany, it was absolutely fucking gorgeous.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_01: And I had made the mistake before of flying internationally to Europe, not on red-eye flights, and I quickly learned from this mistake because all I did was wake up super early, waste the entire day just being on a flight, like travel forwards in time six hours, and then land at 9 p.m.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_01: and have to go to bed.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_01: What the fuck was that?
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_01: Like, actually, I I I swore to myself I would never take anything but a red-eye flight to Europe again.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_01: So, did not make that mistake.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_01: I flew a red-eye flight out at like 5 p.m.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_01: Parking at the airport.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_01: Oh oh my god.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, like actual nightmare, actual nightmare dumpster fire.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe I'm just fucking stupid.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_01: Or maybe sometimes with certain airports, you will have about 3.02 milliseconds to figure out if you're in the correct lane to get where you're trying to go before it just splits, and you are just stuck in the ether in this lane, and your only reroute is to go around the entire way, like the whole circle around the whole freaking airport terminal to try to like get into the right spot again.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_01: So I am an engineer, I am not dumb.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_01: Believe it or not, I'm not dumb.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_01: I can actually drive and I can use my brain.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_01: And I was even just like I was struggling a bit.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_01: I'm I'm gonna be so for real.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_01: I I like was in the wrong lane at first.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_01: Like Apple Maps was showing me the lane things, and then I was trying to match them with what I was actually looking at for the signs, and it was just so oh my god, I did like five, not five, I did like two laps around the airport, but finally found my parking spot.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_01: Naturally, as per usual with international travel, or like any no domestic travel does not stress me out.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_01: International travel stresses me out a bit more because obviously there's passports, there's like if you miss an international flight, they're not as easy to just get another flight.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_01: Like you could get really fucked over if that happens.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_01: And I did, in fact, enter just a wee little bit of fight or flight, just walking from where I parked to the terminal, which was like the furthest possible point away from where I parked, which I already knew, but whatever.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_01: And yeah, it was just a classic travel experience where it's like I I was just coming up with every possible worst-case scenario of like, oh my god, what if I miss my flight?
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_01: What if TSA takes extra long?
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_01: What if there's a giant line?
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_01: What if there's a problem here?
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_01: What if this?
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_01: What if that?
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_01: And I just I was low-key spiraling a bit.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_01: I was just like tweaking out for no reason because guess what?
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: It ended up being completely fine, and I had plenty of time at my gate, and all was well.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_01: The one thing I will say about my flight, this is so funny, you guys.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm gonna talk about another person here, a very important character, who is never gonna listen to this podcast, so I don't feel bad talking about it, and it's not even like a super embarrassing or bad thing.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_01: But I get on the flight, I'm going to my seat.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_01: I prefer window seats, so I actually picked my seat for this flight instead of just letting, you know, the random picking for cheaper.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_01: I picked a window seat, I get to my spot, and naturally, when this happens, you kind of just well, at least I just kind of like point to my seat and I say, like, hey, you know, I'm sitting there, and then obviously there's not much space for me to get around you if you're already sitting in the seat.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_01: So as everyone know always does, you kind of just you get up, you let the person get into their seat, and then you sit back down.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_01: I was seated next to this couple.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_01: They weren't like they were probably in like their 50s or 60s, no, maybe like 60s or 70s, and I don't they didn't speak English, which obviously we're going to this was a flight ultimately to Italy, and I think they were probably on the same one.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_01: So I think they spoke Italian, and just a sweet little Italian couple, like the wife was in the aisle seat, the husband's in the middle seat, and I see the wife immediately, like, she was like, Oh yes, yes, and got up, you know, kind of like making space for me to get through.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_01: And the the husband kind of just looked at me, like he stayed seated, like he was sat and he was not moving, and he kind of just looked at me and he like pointed like at the seat.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_01: He was like, You can't just like get over me, like you can't just like get by.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_01: Mind you, I have a backpack the size of a fucking boulder hanging from the straps of my shoulders.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_01: Like, friend, if you think that I can get by you, just me, never mind the fact that I have like something that could probably concuss you on my person.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you are incorrect.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_01: So I said, you know, I have like a giant bag, and then he got up.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_01: And he wasn't being rude about it, he was just being very like, what do you mean you can't just like get by?
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_01: Like, it's fine, just go over me.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_01: So that was the first thing that made me laugh.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_01: This this I just keep laughing because like this was an experience.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_01: You ever you ever have an experience with someone where you're just like, This is not real, like you are not like there's no way this is happening right now.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_01: It was just really funny things.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_01: So that was the first thing.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_01: Second, before we took off, like when we were, I think we were even just taxiing, he he had headphones plugged into the seat in front of him, you know, for like the the screen, and he was playing a movie or something, which obviously it's standard, but he also had his phone on him, and I he at one point was like guys, he was literally blasting, blasting Instagram reels at full volume while the plane was just like dead silent.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_01: I think we were a taxiing because everyone was seated, and I knew that like everyone within like a 20-seat vicinity could hear this man blasting his phone.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_01: You could probably hear it throughout the entire fucking plane, like and he was right next to me, and his wife was absolutely passed out of sleep, so she's not gonna be of assistance to me in this moment.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel like I have the obligation to be the one to say, be the voice for everyone on this flight to say to him, like, hey, like you don't have headphones plugged in.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_01: Cause I thought that he knew that he was playing reels, but I thought that he had headphones, like he meant to have his headphones plugged in.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_01: So I kind of just like so a girl in front of us like looked back at me and was like kind of like you know, alluding to like, hey, can you tell him to like quiet down?
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_01: Um and so I like kind of tapped him and I was like, I don't think your phone's connected to the headphones.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_01: And he was like, looked confused, and then I realized that the only headphones he had were the ones that were plugged into the screen.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_01: So I think that he was just playing reels like that, like did not care that everyone was also a witness to what this man was listening to.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_01: Like he did not care at all, and I was like trying to kind of tell him, you know, like I it's not connected to your headphones, but again, I don't even think that he meant to have them connected, so I kind of felt bad because I didn't want to make him embarrassed, but I was like, homeboy, we we cannot be full blasting reels right now.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I'm gonna try to find for you guys a a snippet of like audio message that I send to my boyfriend because I was like, I need you to experience this with me right now.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, please hold.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_01: BTS of my texts bestie guy next to me is blasting reels with his headphones in, but not attached to his phone.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_01: You should tell him, babe.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_01: I can't.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe I will.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_01: It's literally blasting to everyone nearby.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's more like it.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: Guys, like that's what I was hearing.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I was hearing.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_00: Like, it was it was so loud, it was so loud.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, wow, what a start to my journey.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I guess even better.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_01: This man, then, as we're taxiing, he like holds up his phone.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_01: Remember, I'm in the window seat, he's in the in the middle seat.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_01: He holds up his phone, probably like three inches away from my face, with completely unprompted, and is like holding it in front of the window.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_01: That's fine.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, I will share the window.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I'm not window dictator over here, like some people who will close the blinds on a fucking flight with the window seat.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what are you doing?
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sorry, if that's you, I don't get it, but I I'm fine sharing the window.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_01: But I was just like, holy crap, he's actually holding this phone like so close to me.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_01: And then I kind of like, you know, I don't want to make a scene about it.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not that bothered, but I'm just like, oh my like, you just you you are a dilly gaff sponsor, like you do not give a fuck about what like anyone else thinks, which fair on you, King, like pop off.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_01: And he was holding it in front of the window, and I kind of like looked at him and like you know, laughed a little bit, like both of us were like, I don't know, just smile, and then he like made the motion of like take off, as then he's trying to like record takeoff.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_01: We did not take off for probably another like 10 minutes.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_01: Like, we he was just I offered to hold his phone for him at one point, like it was so close to me that I was like, Do you do you want me to hold it?
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_01: And he was like, Oh yeah, sure.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_01: And I grabbed it from him.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just holding this random man's phone over the window just to record us moving 20 yards at the airport, not even about to take off.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_01: Like, it was just a comical experience, and then finally we took off.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_01: I actually did end up getting a video for this guy, and I did well with my Gen Z photography and videography because he like kind of you know did the same thing again after we took off, and I you know, I helped him out.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_01: I helped him out, and the rest of the flight was chill, it was very nonchalant.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_01: The only other thing is that they tried getting the people in front of them to like put their seats up by like pushing against them.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_01: They were like basically saying, like, yo, can you guys give us some more space?
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_01: Like, particularly trying to get back into their seats, it was a little tight, and that was probably the only other notable thing.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_01: But you know what?
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_01: It was not a bad experience, it was memorable to say the least.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_01: I got a whole hour and a half of sleep, which was really good for a full day the next day, but overall, incredible.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_01: Landed at Zurich Airport because I flew Air Swiss.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, oh my god, nicest freaking airport, literally in the entire world.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_01: I love the Swiss.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_01: Switzerland, you slay.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_01: It feels like everyone there thinks, like an engineer, all the architects, like it's just so satisfying to my engineer brain how perfectly worked out this airport was.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_01: Like it was so aesthetic, it had such good systems to it, like they had their shit figured out.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, Swiss, you fucking slay.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_01: You slay.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_01: Then I flew from Zurich into Florence for like 9 a.m.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_01: We flew over the Swiss Alps.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_01: I made a friend on the flight who like we started talking about to get on board, and then we ended up sitting next to each other, which was very wholesome.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_01: But it was a good travel day, all things considered, like nothing went wrong, nothing was bad.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_01: I I made friends, including that Italian guy, like it was eventful.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_01: And landing in Florence at 9 a.m.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_01: Nothing wrong with that, except for the fact that this is day one of the retreat, and that means that the shuttle bus is not coming until like 3 p.m.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_01: So I just have like six hours to just sit and chill in this airport.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_01: Thankfully, there is a cafe, but I obviously there's not too much to do.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_01: Like I tried keeping myself entertained and it was fine.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_01: Like I'm an adult, I can sit somewhere for six hours, but that was probably just you know, some recovery time for my hour and a half of sleep.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_01: I was also starving when I got off the flight, and they they obviously had food at this Italian cafe that was in the airport, but I do not I had such an aversion to going up and ordering because I don't speak Italian.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_01: I could probably try, but I also don't want to seem like some stupid American bitch who like can't be bothered to learn anything else except English.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you know what I mean?
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I did not want to seem like one of those like, can I have pizza please?
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I don't know.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_01: I just I just didn't want to do that, but I did work up the courage to go get some pasta, which ended up being very good, and I was thankful that I actually decided to go do that and not just wait hours and hours until like I was at a breaking point.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I just I was like, I need to get over myself, like they don't fucking care.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_01: This is a two-second interaction, and I'm starving.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_01: So got food, hung out for a bit.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_01: Other women started to get to the airport, it started landing.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_01: I knew and had met one person on this retreat before.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_01: Everyone else I had never met, um, maybe had like talked to in body language, which is like a program that Becca has, or not a program, but it's like a like monthly subscription kind of thing, access to like bi-weekly somatic healing sessions and breath work sessions and calls, similar kind of work to what the retreat was centered around.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_01: Anyways, a lot of these women were are also in this program, and I've like seen them in the chat, but I obviously have never met them in person.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_01: So the more that people started arriving, we honestly kind of like took over this whole cafe, like we just kept pulling up seats, we kept combining tables, and like we eventually had like up to I think it was 12 of us sitting in this cafe that was definitely not made for like big, big groups, but it worked out really well.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_01: Time flew by, 3 p.m.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_01: came around, finally got the shuttle to the retreat space.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_01: The drive there kind of terrifying because on the normal roads that's fine, everything was good.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_01: But as I said, this retreat villa was in the hillside of Tuscany, which means you have to go up the hill to get there.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_01: And these roads are not exactly wide, and the like steepness is not exactly small, like they're they're steep roads, they're really tiny, and they're ones that just make you kind of hold your breath a little bit, and it was a bit of a bumpy ride.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_01: I think we got lost at one point and had to reroute a bit, but eventually we finally freaking made it to the retreat.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_01: This was a pretty surreal moment.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like it's just so special to finally meet someone in person who you have followed for a while, who like I've listened to Becca's podcast, like I've been in Becca's world for a while.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_01: So to meet her in person was just like really I don't know, it's just such a beautiful experience.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I don't know, it's just an immaculate start to the retreat to just like have such a I don't know, sentimental, wholesome, heartwarming kind of moment of just like pure excitement shared between all of us women who were there.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_01: And it was also super cool to meet Jessie, who's Becca's assistant.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_01: Jesse, I fucking love Jessie, like she slays, everyone got pictures of like the the welcome and everything, and we just got to take in the villa absolutely freaking stunning, like so beautiful.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_01: The most picturesque view out, like to the countryside, the hills of Tuscany, there are olive trees everywhere, like it was just such a beautiful place and a beautiful property.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_01: There was an outdoor dining area, which is where we ate all of our meals.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_01: We faced out to the west, so we got to see the sunset every night.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_01: It was just gorgeous.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_01: And shout out to Becca for including like downtime before we do a welcome ceremony or anything because after a full day of travel, like that feeling where I just I needed to shower, I needed to chill, I needed to change, so took a little speed shower, got ready, and we had the first event, the welcoming ceremony, which is it was such a nice experience.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_01: Like, we just did a little meditation to like settle in to the experience and just the fact that we were actually here, like we just kept being like, What the fuck?
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_01: Like, we're in fucking Italy right now, like this is crazy.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_01: And after that, we did some speed dating with everyone to just get to know each other, kind of just get comfortable, let the walls down, whatever you want to say.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_01: Where we alternated going, like everyone talked to every person there for what end up being like a few minutes each because Becca and Jesse came up with these prompts that were actually like super deep, like they were really good prompts and questions just to talk about, like discussion points.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_01: And it was not surface level shit, like it was pretty deep, meaningful stuff that like you probably wouldn't talk about with like a random stranger like on the freaking bus.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_01: And it was just a beautiful experience.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_01: Everyone got a minute to share, and you just swapped responses, like it was really like a connecting sort of experience that just set the tone for the whole retreat, and it was just it was such a like I'm just gonna keep saying everything here was just such a beautiful experience, and I definitely had that moment of like holy shit, I'm actually here.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_01: Like, there are people in my life who probably think I'm crazy for doing this.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_01: There are people who do not understand any part of what I'm doing, or why I chose to come here, or even though I felt a little nervous about it, like why I still chose to put myself out of my comfort zone, travel internationally for this experience, like spend the money to be here.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of people in my life would be like, What the fuck?
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_01: Or just a lot of people in general who hear about this kind of thing would be like what are you?
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: Doing, but I just knew there was something in it for me, like I was meant to be there.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_01: Becca made a comment about how she feels like retreats always kind of bring together like a very like the people who come there obviously are are meant to be there, but it's almost like this soul pod kind of experience, like it's a very deep, soulful connection between everyone that I don't know, you just can't get anywhere else besides like a kind of retreat sort of setting where like people come from all over the world, all different backgrounds just coming together for this experience.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I don't know, very beautiful kind of thing.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_01: The welcome ceremony and all of the workshops that we had were held at this yoga deck that was I counted 71 steps from bottom to top, um, from the villa space, and it was tucked away, it was beautiful.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_01: There were obviously like trees everywhere, very much so in nature, just like listening to the birds.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, uh, it was just so nice, it was so nice.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_01: So, we had the welcome ceremony, we had a beautiful dinner.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_01: Naturally, after a full travel day for a lot of us, we were not feeling super energized.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I went to bed pretty early, I want to say like 9 p.m.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_01: And I slept like a rock.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_01: I slept like a literal rock.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_01: I was so tired, and again, the red-eye flight was clutch because not getting quality sleep on the red eye flight led me to be like ready for bed.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_01: I was ready for bed on Italian time, and it was glorious.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_01: Day two started with movement on the yoga deck at like 7 a.m.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_01: I had two other roommates, and the three of us went to yoga every single morning, like seven to eight.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_01: We were there, be there, be square.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I was proud of us because we were so dedicated, and I almost forgot.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_01: How could I not mention him sooner?
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_01: There was a cat living at this villa.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_01: He, his name was Chef, he slayed every morning that we were going down to the yoga deck, or any time that we were going down there for a workshop, he would literally escort us, walk down all 71 steps with us, just to hang out, just to be there.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_01: And he was fucking adorable.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_01: But, anyways, movement.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_01: We had breakfast.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_01: There were croissants every morning at breakfast.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_01: They were so good.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, they were so good.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_01: And the breakfast, the food there was just amazing.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_01: The hostess, like who owns the villa and also like lives on the property too, obviously.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_01: She cooked all of the meals.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_01: She was incredible.
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_01: Anna, you absolutely slayed, like, she was great, and every meal was just immaculate.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_01: But after breakfast, this first day, we had our first workshop, which was an inner world workshop where we basically explored five kind of main emotions that Becca said she sees in the women that she works with, which were anger, guilt, chaos, insecurity, and control.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_01: And we kind of just explored our relationship to each of these emotions and experiences, how they show up in our life, and you know, went through some journaling, then we did a proper somatic experience.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_01: And for anyone who is wondering what that entails, is essentially it's you're just like moving your body in a way where you feel like you're actively expressing these emotions.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_01: And Becca obviously is like certified in the somatic and nervous system healing work, like she isn't the expert here.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_01: So if you're curious to learn more about this or explore it, please go follow her on Instagram.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_01: I have it linked below, or listen to her podcast.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_01: It's called There She Glows.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_01: Some people, when they're going through like a somatic experience, whether that's a like literal like somatic healing session or where it's more centered on like the actual movement of your body or a breath work session, some people have like really powerful kind of releases of emotions, whether it's just like crying or just it's and you know, expression of the the suppressed emotions that live inside of all of us.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_01: That's like the whole point of doing the kind of healing work is to rewrite the stories that your body has like programmed and absorbed from your past experiences that keep you in certain nervous system states that may or may not be ideal for you and your life.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_01: But, anyways, some people have like really like bigger kind of releases.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know if I'm just weird, but I have never been like that.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like I process things very internally, and very much so like I joke about like processing in the freaking astral realm because half the time during breath work I literally feel like something's wrong with me.
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_01: Because it's like I fall asleep pretty frequently, and even in like a somatic experience, like yes, you're more in your body, but I think I just have so much energy in the intellectual side of things, like in the mind, in my head, like being very just a lot of mental energy where I feel like those kind of releases are just not what I do, like it's just not it's just not what my body needs or does.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I definitely feel like I process things, but it's just not necessarily in a very like outward expressive sort of way.
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_01: And I bring that up because I think people can have this this perspective on this kind of healing work or breath work where you can kind of just imagine it being like this really overwhelming experience.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_01: And it I almost had this belief before that, like if you don't cry or if you don't like really feel like you express yourself in like a very outwards kind of way, then like I was doing it wrong.
• 28:02
  SPEAKER_01: But I have grown and learned more to understand that like you and your body, like you are getting exactly what you need going through any process, like the somatic healing, the breath work, the whatever, and it just that helped me to feel a lot better and like safer in myself and like with myself during these experiences because I wasn't trying to like compare myself to other people or tell myself that I was doing it wrong, and it was just it was just a a healing experience, but I just felt called to share that from the perspective that like me personally I did not have like a super major like oh my god kind of like purging.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_01: Like a lot of the the healing that I do and like the processing is very almost subtle, but it's still very profound, and that's kind of how I felt for the first workshop.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_01: It was very insightful too.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I I took a lot away from it, and it was a good opening kind of workshop that we had that again set the tone for the next couple days where we have more of the like awareness and the processing of like kind of the the deeper layers to ourselves before we do anything else.
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_01: After that, we had some free time.
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_01: We I guys, this was the most picturesque kind of experience for me to be reading Fourth Wing, the first book, but facing out, like just sitting in a chair in the Italian countryside, facing out to all of these beautiful farms and this beautiful land and these beautiful hills, just chilling, just existing, reading on a retreat on a random fucking Tuesday, or well, technically a Thursday, but like it was oh my gosh, guys, it was so nice, it was so nice, and I am so glad that I went there, not just obviously for the reading, like for the whole experience, but like I definitely just had moments when I was just like kind of in my own little bubble and recharging where I was like wow, like I am just so grateful to be here, and I'm so grateful that I chose to invest in myself in this way, and I don't care if anyone else gets it, like this this makes sense for me.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I know I meant to be here, and I am genuinely just so happy that I did that.
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_01: This night we also had an authentic Italian cooking class, guys, so good, so good, like making pasta from scratch.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_01: We also made this dessert from scratch, and Anna, the host, she like used my she used like my prepped dessert dough thing as like the example for a second.
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_01: I literally felt like a third grader whose teacher just like showed the class like your craft as an example for like what everyone else should be like looking for.
• 30:58
  SPEAKER_01: I was I felt so proud of myself like to get that kind of praise in an Italian cooking class.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, wow, this is this is peak.
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_01: I'm peaking right now.
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_01: But the pasta that we made was so good, it was another just vision board kind of moment, and like everyone was just bonding, we were all just connecting to each other, and literally, like it was just just soaking up the entire experience.
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_01: It was truly wild, and this is genuinely insane, guys.
• 31:27
  SPEAKER_01: I before I bought my ticket to this retreat, I like didn't have it necessarily on my radar too much, but Becca actually reached out to me and kind of like you know prompted the idea, and I had obviously like seen you know the the post about it, like I knew about it, but again, it wasn't something that I was like, Oh, I think I'm gonna be able to make that work.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_01: And once I actually started considering like the possibility of me going, and I was like, Oh, it would be a bit of a stretch with like PTO and I'd have to finesse a little bit, but maybe I could actually go.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_01: I was having what I called like future memories.
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_01: It was like I would just have these flashes in my mind of like like I already felt like I knew what it was like to be there, and very specifically, I was in a room that was all windows that like faced out to the countryside, and it's like I could hear Becca talking kind of like I was facing in the other way, so it was to my left, but like kind of to my right-ish, and she was in a red dress.
• 32:32
  SPEAKER_01: Like it was like I could just I it's like I could just hear us talking, and that night that we had the cooking class, it was in a room inside all glass windows, facing out to the countryside, with Becca kind of in that spot in a red dress.
• 32:47
  SPEAKER_01: That shit's crazy.
• 32:48
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you guys can think I'm insane, I really don't give a shit.
• 32:51
  SPEAKER_01: Like that that is real, like if women's intuition and your soul giving you little pings and messages of like where you should be, like that shit is real.
• 33:00
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, I was it was crazy.
• 33:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I had like a that's so raven moment when I kind of realized that at dinner, like after the fact, it was crazy.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_01: Dinners were also so nice when like we all just got to yapping and just chatting about like life and just just everything, like it was just such an enjoyable, kind of like wholesome girls girl kind of experience, like every night.
• 33:22
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I really connected with all the other women there, and just the experience of being like in a group setting in a community, and to be like seen and heard and appreciated, and just connecting and just being able to be so fully authentically yourself and to have that be so well received and celebrated.
• 33:44
  SPEAKER_01: It's such a healing experience.
• 33:45
  SPEAKER_01: Like these these kind of going out of your comfort zone things are so healing, and they're just they just give you so much more than just the workshop experiences or just you know the main big personal things that you take away.
• 34:01
  SPEAKER_01: I really feel like the community was like a highlighting part of like the biggest, most beautiful things that I experienced.
• 34:08
  SPEAKER_01: So day two kind of just wrapped up with the dinner, going to bed, yapped with the roomies a bit, and did not get as much sleep as I did the night before because we woke up early for day three for movement.
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_01: Um, as I said, I don't know if I said already, but my roomies and I dedicated as frick to going to the movement every morning.
• 34:31
  SPEAKER_01: Like we were there every day, all three days that we had it, and even though we didn't get as much sleep for it, I am happy we did that.
• 34:39
  SPEAKER_01: After movement and breakfast, we actually had an excursion planned, but shout out to those Italian transportation services, like they were just to absolutely no fault of Becca or Jesse, like literally just like the universe was conspiring against us going to this excursion.
• 34:59
  SPEAKER_01: Um, the transportation service was just not working out.
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_01: They were saying that they had like an extenuating circumstance and they are down the road, they're five minutes away, and they just kept saying they were five minutes away for basically like an hour and a half, and things just got freaked up, got messed up.
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_01: I did have the feeling, similar to what Becca said, similar to how we all kind of felt that like when you're trying so hard to force something to work and you have to depend on other people to make it happen, and like it's out of your control, and things are just not working out, that can be a sign that like this is a form of protection.
• 35:41
  SPEAKER_01: This is a form of like God stepping in to say, yo, something's not good is happening where you guys are going.
• 35:48
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you need to stay here, you need to be safe.
• 35:51
  SPEAKER_01: And Becca mentioned the burnt toast theory, which is basically just the idea of exactly what I'm describing.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you think that you want to do something, you burn your toast before work, and turns out those two minutes like saved you from getting in an accident.
• 36:05
  SPEAKER_01: I think that that was definitely the situation that was going on there that day.
• 36:10
  SPEAKER_01: So we did not end up doing the excursion, we just went to straight into a workshop, which was about detachment, and we talked about Buddhist principles and not in a religious standpoint, not in this way of like, oh, we're all Buddhists here, we're all practicing Buddhists, but just to take the wisdom away from these concepts that I'm going to share a little bit of.
• 36:34
  SPEAKER_01: And as a side note, if you feel like your religion completely restricts you from learning any other wisdom outside of your very fixed box and deeming all other knowledge and information dangerous, I just question how free you actually are allowing yourself to be to, like, I don't know, like have free will, realize that not everything is black and white.
• 36:58
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 36:59
  SPEAKER_01: Call me crazy, but moving on.
• 37:01
  SPEAKER_01: The main principles that we explored in terms of detachment were associated with kind of the root of all suffering.
• 37:09
  SPEAKER_01: And my biggest takeaways from that was this sense of freedom in terms of remembering and recognizing that like nothing is permanent, and so much of the time we try to control things, we try to make everything be certain, like we're obsessed with this kind of certainty in everything that we do and making everything the same all the time, or making sure things don't change.
• 37:33
  SPEAKER_01: But in reality, the only thing that never changes is the fact that change is inevitable.
• 37:38
  SPEAKER_01: So even when we feel like an experience, you know, we need to make it last a lifetime, or this needs to look a certain way, things are inevitably going to change.
• 37:47
  SPEAKER_01: Like life is always continuing on, time does not stop.
• 37:51
  SPEAKER_01: We are always evolving as people and in our lives.
• 37:54
  SPEAKER_01: So to ignore that is just a major source of suffering because when we're so attached to things, when we're gripping onto this need for control or needing things to be different than what they actually are, it just creates a huge amount of dissatisfaction and again suffering because we're constantly wishing for reality to be different than what it is.
• 38:15
  SPEAKER_01: And I find so much freedom and relaxation and peace in recognizing that like things are as they are, like just accepting things as they are is way easier than trying to force something to be something that it's never going to be.
• 38:32
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like I said that weird.
• 38:34
  SPEAKER_01: But we just explore some other examples of ways that you cause your own suffering.
• 38:40
  SPEAKER_01: We talked about the second arrow, this idea that you can enhance your suffering.
• 38:44
  SPEAKER_01: Like you the pain that you feel is inevitable in life.
• 38:47
  SPEAKER_01: Like, that's quote unquote the first arrow, you know, like getting hurt by something, feeling the pain of that.
• 38:52
  SPEAKER_01: And then the second arrow is the suffering that we enhance and cause ourselves after the first arrow, where we decide to ruminate on the experience, talk about it 24-7, tell everyone and their mom about every horrible thing that happened to you today, and like just add more energy to a problem basically.
• 39:11
  SPEAKER_01: And even just being aware of that, I've actually caught myself in the few weeks since I've been home doing that sometimes, and I will literally say to myself, Nope, I'm not gonna second arrow myself right now.
• 39:22
  SPEAKER_01: So there was more to this workshop.
• 39:25
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want to share, you know, everything, but it was very beautiful and releasing, and I feel like I'm just saying the same fucking things every time.
• 39:32
  SPEAKER_01: It's so beautiful and nice and releasing, blah blah blah.
• 39:34
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I don't want to sound just like a freaking robot, but like I don't know how guys, this is my first time explaining the experience too.
• 39:40
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know how to I don't know how to say it other than it was just everything was just amazing.
• 39:43
  SPEAKER_01: Like I genuinely loved it.
• 39:45
  SPEAKER_01: So we had the detachment workshop, we had lunch, we had more free time in the afternoon because we were hoping that we could switch the excursion to the afternoon, didn't work out.
• 39:55
  SPEAKER_01: That's okay.
• 39:56
  SPEAKER_01: Divine protection.
• 39:58
  SPEAKER_01: I got to read Fourth Wing further and hang out with some of the other women, kind of around the pool and whatnot.
• 40:05
  SPEAKER_01: We had a beautiful pool there.
• 40:07
  SPEAKER_01: There was a hot tub, you just pet chef, you could just chill, like it was just such good vibes.
• 40:13
  SPEAKER_01: We had dinner, and then after dinner, we had a cacao ceremony.
• 40:18
  SPEAKER_01: And if you've never heard of cacao, I mean to me it's just like I like I'd describe it as just like hot chocolate, like it's basically what it is for me.
• 40:27
  SPEAKER_01: But cacao in particular is like a specific kind of drink that contains theobromine, and it was described to me as a heart opener, not something that's like to the extent of any other kind of quote-unquote plant medicine, but kind of just a subtle, heartwarming sort of drink that enhances the experience of like feeling connected to others and warm and just open.
• 40:56
  SPEAKER_01: And the cacao ceremony was centered around journaling and doing some reflecting on reasons why we're really proud of ourselves because the entire group of women who was there, we are all high-achieving, probably more type A kind of people.
• 41:12
  SPEAKER_01: Like, we are definitely the ambitious type.
• 41:17
  SPEAKER_01: And when you are someone who is like this, it can definitely be hard to actually celebrate yourself and to not just brush off compliments or to ignore the strengths in yourself, like not fully give yourself credit for how much work you've done or the impact you bring into the world, whatever it is.
• 41:37
  SPEAKER_01: So Becca gave us some really nice prompts to kind of hype ourselves up a bit, and we all got some time to share them and genuinely just celebrate each other.
• 41:47
  SPEAKER_01: There was also an Oracle deck that Becca brought, and we all just picked a random card out of, I think it was the Sahara Rose deck, um, a yogic path.
• 41:57
  SPEAKER_01: Don't know, but we all had our card pulls, we were taking pictures of like what the card meant, we were passing it around, people had crystals, like we were just girls being girls.
• 42:08
  SPEAKER_01: And if you don't know this about me, I am extremely adept at pointing out constellations in the night sky because I have just looked them up with my little night sky app for literally probably a decade at this point, and I have just gradually learned what constellations are where and what to look for in the night sky.
• 42:26
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I describe it as just learning a map, like it's just a map of the sky.
• 42:30
  SPEAKER_01: Like once you know where something is, it's not like you ever really forget.
• 42:35
  SPEAKER_01: So I was pointing out some constellations to the other women that we could see, and just talking about the little facts I knew about them.
• 42:42
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I was just it was such a good time, guys.
• 42:45
  SPEAKER_01: This was again after dinner, so it was nighttime.
• 42:48
  SPEAKER_01: Obviously, the sky was dark, and we were down on the yoga stu oh my god, I almost said yoga path.
• 42:54
  SPEAKER_01: Wow, yoga workshop space, you know what I'm saying.
• 42:58
  SPEAKER_01: We were down there where we've done one of the other workshops, and then we were just yapping, chatting, hanging out, drinking our cacao, like setting our little intentions with it for you know what we wanted for the night and everything.
• 43:12
  SPEAKER_01: And I really enjoyed it.
• 43:15
  SPEAKER_01: This is something where I I can sense this fear inside of me where I'm like, oh, people aren't gonna get this, people aren't gonna understand it.
• 43:23
  SPEAKER_01: They're gonna think this is some weird thing, like crystals, intention setting, oracle deck, oh my god, what are you talking about?
• 43:29
  SPEAKER_01: What are these like things?
• 43:30
  SPEAKER_01: This is woo-woo, this is crazy, this is weird, this is a cult, blah blah blah.
• 43:34
  SPEAKER_01: Like, and I have a fear of being misunderstood around this stuff because I feel like I know really well what it's like to have a very logical mind and a very analytical mind.
• 43:47
  SPEAKER_01: And for a lot of people in that vein, and like the engineering kind of black and white sort of mindset, you describe these things to them, and they'll be like, What the fuck are you talking about?
• 43:56
  SPEAKER_01: This is crazy.
• 43:58
  SPEAKER_01: And one of my biggest takes.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_01: From this whole retreat was reflected back to me just in my conversations with the other women, and kind of just realizing how much of an interest that I take in describing things that are like seen as these like woo-woo spiritual, whatever sort of topics, and putting them, like describing them in a way where it actually makes sense to people, where it's not this far-fetched kind of floaty fairy, like just doing whatever you want kind of thing.
• 44:28
  SPEAKER_01: Like it's actually very valuable information and knowledge.
• 44:32
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I just my gift to bring balance to the metaphysical and the spiritual realm and the physical realm with logic and being like a bridge to communicate between these two worlds and just deliver this information in a way that makes sense to people and can be best utilized was really reflected back to me.
• 44:54
  SPEAKER_01: And that's something I'm still reflecting on in terms of taking that to like social media or talking about it on the podcast.
• 45:03
  SPEAKER_01: But part of the things I kind of hyped up about myself or things that I was reflecting on was just how my brain works, and like again, the whole point of the ceremony was to be like, don't say like, oh, I don't want to brag.
• 45:19
  SPEAKER_01: So I don't want to sound like I'm bragging, but I feel like I have such an intellectual ability to understand like very complex topics that seem spiritual and like again just bring a balance to them.
• 45:32
  SPEAKER_01: And that was just more reflected back to me in the ceremony, and it's even more reflected back to me talking about this on the podcast and thinking about this worry of like, oh, what are people gonna think?
• 45:43
  SPEAKER_01: But again, that just circles back to the fact that like I am meant to be a translator for this stuff, I am meant to share this more, so take this as the first step and the first sign of me doing so.
• 45:55
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, moving on from there.
• 45:57
  SPEAKER_01: That was the end of day three.
• 45:58
  SPEAKER_01: Day four, we had our final workshop, which was called the Wild Woman Workshop, where we explored the feminine archetypes.
• 46:08
  SPEAKER_01: We only explored six, six feminine archetypes.
• 46:11
  SPEAKER_01: I think there were more, but these were the core ones that we explored and decided how much we resonated with each of them.
• 46:18
  SPEAKER_01: And then Becca took us through a process that we kind of just as per usual with the somatic stuff, you're more in your body, feeling your emotions.
• 46:27
  SPEAKER_01: Kind of just the whole point of this was just authentic expression, like feeling safe to just express yourself and like move and do whatever you want to do.
• 46:36
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but in a very like divine, feminine-y kind of way.
• 46:41
  SPEAKER_01: After the workshop was over, we were all freaking high vibe, like it's been a few days that we've all gotten to know each other.
• 46:48
  SPEAKER_01: Like, we definitely were in Becca called it the love bubble, and I was like, that's so accurate.
• 46:54
  SPEAKER_01: We were definitely in the little bubble of the retreat, and kind of just soaking in the last full day that we had.
• 47:00
  SPEAKER_01: We had lunch, we had a photo shoot where we were all dressed in green per the theme of the retreat, and we got to just take nice pictures on Becca's really nice camera, and also just our phones and just the views, the scenery, just oh guys, content fire, fire, so good.
• 47:21
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not I didn't make content from it, but I guess technically not yet.
• 47:26
  SPEAKER_01: But some of the other women there were making content.
• 47:28
  SPEAKER_01: Autumn, shout the frick out, Autumn.
• 47:30
  SPEAKER_01: She was another woman on the retreat who is also like a creator, and she does so well making content.
• 47:38
  SPEAKER_01: I it's autumn, her name, hold on, I need to tell you her Instagram.
• 47:41
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, it's autumn.d-e-n-a-e autumn denay.
• 47:46
  SPEAKER_01: She slayed.
• 47:47
  SPEAKER_01: I love her, she has the best energy.
• 47:49
  SPEAKER_01: Like, if you feel compelled, please go follow her because she's slayed.
• 47:51
  SPEAKER_01: But, anyways, she was taking content, she was doing all the things, like we were just we were just vibing as a group, it was so nice.
• 47:58
  SPEAKER_01: And then similar to the other days, we had some chill time before dinner, we all ate together, and after dinner was kind of just group hangout time, like celebrating again, just the last full night we had there.
• 48:10
  SPEAKER_01: And one of the other women on the treat, Lisa, her Instagram is Witchy Ways by Lisa.
• 48:16
  SPEAKER_01: She was just talking about all things like spiritual-esque stuff, like doing readings for people, and she's a freaking spiritual queen.
• 48:26
  SPEAKER_01: We love her.
• 48:26
  SPEAKER_01: We have she's basically gave like a whole impromptu masterclass about like vows that you can make as like a soul with other people and like the lessons that you come here to learn, and just just things that we were all like we were sat, we were sat around Lisa.
• 48:42
  SPEAKER_01: We were just eating the shit up, and it was immaculate, it was absolutely immaculate.
• 48:47
  SPEAKER_01: It was just very, very much so a nice girl's night.
• 48:51
  SPEAKER_01: So that was pretty much the end of day four.
• 48:57
  SPEAKER_01: Day five, we had the closing ceremony before breakfast at seven instead of movement, and in this we just did a little meditation, reflection, and everything that we learned, and each of us took a turn saying, kind of just speaking for like a minute about the woman to the left of us, so that we could kind of, you know, just both give and receive just just all the love and celebrating each other and just acknowledging the strength and everything that we see in each other, which was very much so a heartwarming end to such an incredible experience.
• 49:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't feel like I've done I just I can't put all of this into words, like I can't, I can't express with you guys how all of this felt, and I feel like I'm kind of saying this in the form of like a lab report, which I'm not trying to do, but I just I can't put into words how it felt to be there, and I have had one other experience at an in-person event, which was the first ever time that I invested in myself, and I was scared shitless to go to that.
• 50:03
  SPEAKER_01: It was like a three-day in-person event, and it wasn't a retreat like this where we stayed overnight, it was just show up to the event space every day.
• 50:11
  SPEAKER_01: That event for similar kind of work like somatic healing, that event was just like I definitely got things out of it, but there were just aspects of it where I was like, holy shit, this is like way too much.
• 50:25
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I was basically, in terms of a healing perspective, I was basically throwing myself into the deep end via like a skydive.
• 50:33
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I was skydiving from space into the deep end of a pool, like it was a lot for the good old nervous system, and a big part of that was just feeling like in all of the kind of like workshop equivalents that we did, or like the processes, whatever you want to call it, the breath work.
• 50:50
  SPEAKER_01: We did not have blindfolds in that first experience.
• 50:54
  SPEAKER_01: And in the retreat this time, the hot and healed retreat, we all had blindfolds every time that we were doing any kind of like breath work or somatic session or anything, just so that we all actually feel comfortable to like be in our own space.
• 51:09
  SPEAKER_01: I'm definitely someone who does not feel like I have this worry of like how I'm being perceived, and a lot of the women related to that as well.
• 51:17
  SPEAKER_01: So I feel like that was just such an important component of feeling like safe and fully present through all the experiences.
• 51:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I bring up that first event because I have experience where it was not like that, and it's just it's a night and day difference in terms of the comfortability and how much you get out of it, and just everything.
• 51:38
  SPEAKER_01: Everything.
• 51:39
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 51:39
  SPEAKER_01: Becca just such wow, Becca does such a good job of making us feel comfortable and safe and still like you know, working through a lot of heavy emotions for a lot of us, but like using humor to to kind of get through it, not to undermine it, but just you know, Becca is just great.
• 51:59
  SPEAKER_01: I love her.
• 52:00
  SPEAKER_01: I love this retreat, and it was worth literally every single penny, every single second of travel, it was worth every second of that random Italian guy putting his phone basically in my face, like and hearing his reels.
• 52:11
  SPEAKER_01: It was worth everything, it was worth absolutely everything.
• 52:14
  SPEAKER_01: So last day after that, we just had breakfast, we all headed off to the airport, we said our goodbyes.
• 52:21
  SPEAKER_01: Very sad, just such a sad experience.
• 52:24
  SPEAKER_01: It literally just feels like summer camp.
• 52:26
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
• 52:27
  SPEAKER_01: It just feels like a healing summer camp where it's like you make such close bonds with people who you didn't know five days ago, and then it's like, oh my god, we go back to our real-world lives, and it's just oh, so sad.
• 52:37
  SPEAKER_01: But we went to the airport.
• 52:39
  SPEAKER_01: Jesse and I, I said Jesse before, Becca's assistant, Jesse, my queen, my diva, she and I were flying on the same flight from Florence to Zurich, so we had the same first connecting flight because she's from South Africa.
• 52:52
  SPEAKER_01: God bless that diva.
• 52:54
  SPEAKER_01: Long flights, very long flights for her.
• 52:56
  SPEAKER_01: Holy crap, over an entire continent and boar.
• 53:00
  SPEAKER_01: But, anyways, Jesse and I flew from Florence to Zurich, so we got to be little travel buddies, which is very wholesome.
• 53:08
  SPEAKER_01: You guys know when a plane is taking off, specifically like a smaller plane, which they're like a little more shaky and unreliable and just kind of scary.
• 53:17
  SPEAKER_01: And you just you just feel like a little too rough of a shake or a little little bit too much like turbulence or jostling around taking off.
• 53:26
  SPEAKER_01: That's basically what we experienced.
• 53:29
  SPEAKER_01: And Jesse and I were sat two rows apart from each other, so like I could look up at her and she could look back at me.
• 53:36
  SPEAKER_01: And it was so funny, like every time that the plane just had any kind of whack-ass movement, like we would just look back at each other and be like, girl, am I gonna survive?
• 53:48
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what is happening?
• 53:49
  SPEAKER_01: But obviously, we ended up being fine.
• 53:52
  SPEAKER_01: My second flight from Zurich to home was actually delayed because so many people, me included, had a really tight connection going from getting off the plane, going through customs, passport control, and then getting on the train to go to the terminal to get on the plane, which was of course at the very end of the terminal I was going to.
• 54:13
  SPEAKER_01: Like, there were a lot of us who were getting on that flight, who I guess had the tight connections, and thank God, thank god that they delayed it because I made it thankfully with plenty of time, but I was definitely nervous, like standing in the passport line, classic situation where there's multiple lines, and I could have chosen a different one, but instead I stayed in the same line, and then I just watched the line that I almost went into just keep moving forwards while I was just getting so stressed out, standing in the exact same spot.
• 54:46
  SPEAKER_01: Like I was tweaking because I was like, I'm literally I'm going to board, like boarding starts in like 10 minutes.
• 54:53
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I need to get this fucking show on the road, and I was just feeling a little a little frazzled there.
• 54:59
  SPEAKER_01: But thankfully, I made friends on the way who like you can tell when you're traveling, especially if it's in a rush, if like other people are going to the same flight.
• 55:08
  SPEAKER_01: And I overheard a couple other people talking so about going on the same flight as me.
• 55:13
  SPEAKER_01: So I befriended them, and that made me feel better because I was like, okay, we're all going to the same place, I'm not the only one, we're chilling.
• 55:20
  SPEAKER_01: Finally, get to my flight home, and pleasantly surprised, I got upgraded to like the section right behind first class.
• 55:29
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's called premium economy.
• 55:31
  SPEAKER_01: And I wasn't the only one.
• 55:33
  SPEAKER_01: There was a person next to me who also got upgraded, and I think they could tell when I was going to sit down that I was like, what the fuck?
• 55:40
  SPEAKER_01: It was it was one of those, like, guys, it just it felt too bougie for how sweaty and gross I felt after like running through the airport and being stressed out for the last like 45 minutes.
• 55:53
  SPEAKER_01: It was just I don't know, they they asked me if I wanted a welcome drink when I sat down.
• 55:59
  SPEAKER_01: Like, it was obviously, you know, one of the nicer seats on the plane.
• 56:05
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm not foreign to like the experience there in terms of like like I know that that's standard for them to offer the drinks, and you have like real silverware, and the food options are a little bit better, and all the things, but obviously I didn't pay for that seat, and I almost felt like an imposter because I was like, other people around me probably actually paid for this spot, and yet I just got upgraded, like what the frick.
• 56:27
  SPEAKER_01: But we will not have this mindset.
• 56:30
  SPEAKER_01: I took the abundance, I said thank you, God, and I enjoyed my flight.
• 56:34
  SPEAKER_01: Flew home, landed, and settled back down for what ended up being a pretty busy week of work immediately after.
• 56:43
  SPEAKER_01: But all in all, guys, it was absolutely worth every second of travel, every dollar, every penny.
• 56:51
  SPEAKER_01: Like I said, it was just the takeaways from that, the experiences of being around other like-minded women and having my strengths reflected back to me, both in terms of my like personal reflections and also the other women like reflecting back to me, like what they saw in me, like the strengths and what I was drawn to, and just how I talked about everything.
• 57:13
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you really I can't put it into words.
• 57:17
  SPEAKER_01: I cannot put it into words.
• 57:18
  SPEAKER_01: The fastest way to get where you want to go is to learn from the people who are already there, and that's mainly why I invest in people in the first place, why I value mentorship, why I value actually putting myself in the rooms and the experiences that I feel like are pushing me out of my comfort zone because that is where the most gross happen growth happens, and it happens in the shortest amount of time.
• 57:43
  SPEAKER_01: So if you ever feel a pull, you ever feel called to, I don't know, invest in something that feels scary or put yourself out there in a different way, or go to an event that you want to go to, but you feel a little bit scared about, take this as your sign to just go.
• 58:01
  SPEAKER_01: Just fucking go.
• 58:03
  SPEAKER_01: Do not let things that are not actually an excuse be an excuse.
• 58:08
  SPEAKER_01: Do not say, I don't have the time, like I don't have okay.
• 58:11
  SPEAKER_01: I was gonna say I don't have the money, but obviously, if you do not have the financial means to invest in something, don't more what I'm trying to say is that if you if there's a will, there's a way.
• 58:22
  SPEAKER_01: And if you feel like you want to do something or try something new, not even something that costs money, but like something where you feel like you have to be stretched to do it.
• 58:31
  SPEAKER_01: I promise you that if you want to do that thing bad enough, you are going to figure out how to do it, and it is 100% worth it.
• 58:39
  SPEAKER_01: So I hope you guys enjoyed this recap of the retreat.
• 58:42
  SPEAKER_01: And I hope I didn't miss anything.
• 58:44
  SPEAKER_01: Let me know if you guys enjoyed this episode because there will probably be more recaps to come of future experiences.
• 58:49
  SPEAKER_01: But I just know that going to the retreat definitely has changed and shaped how I view myself and my potential and my purpose and my experience, just everything.
• 59:02
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm looking forward to further integrating the experience.
• 59:06
  SPEAKER_01: But with that, go be your most organic selves, and I will see you in the next one.