Latest / Full Spectrum Cycling / Full Spectrum Cycling #74 – 3000 People on Black is Beautiful Ride 2 and Big Sexy is in Indiana

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Full Spectrum Cycling #74 – 3000 People on Black is Beautiful Ride 2 and Big Sexy is in Indiana · Full Spectrum Cycling

• 0:00
  [rock music] Be, be, be, ne, ne, ne, ne.
• 0:20
  Yo, yo, yo, yo. [laughs] Hey, everybody. Your worm- Hey, everybody, I don't even- Your worm has infected... I don't even know what's going on yet. It's, uh- [laughs] It's Full Spectrum Cycling. Oh, shit.
• 0:32
  Apparently number 74. Mm-hmm. Is that where we're at? That's real good. Indedy-deed. Just, uh, appropriating a little of our brother's culture there before- Mm... so I couldn't really- [laughs]...
• 0:44
  just get out of the [laughs] get out of the, the groove. The stitching's coming out of my Club Ride pants. Wait, what? Uh-huh. That's all right. Out at Nun's, that's where they're used.
• 0:53
  That's all right, they're going consumer direct right now, so. [laughs] Oh, bite me. January 1st, 2021, Club Ride goes consumer direct.
• 1:02
  In their defense, of people in the industry, they are going to have a pro deal for pretty much everybody that's in the industry, or- Right... that's probably not even in the industry, just, uh, has a- Says they are...
• 1:11
  Instagram account with, like, six or eight people that they're, you know- And thank you for-... showing stuff to. And thank you for pronouncing it industry, not industry. Well, in who industries?
• 1:22
  Yeah, we don't need- [laughs] I like industrial music. In, in- You don't like industrial music? I don't, I'm not really into industrial music. Not even sure what that is. No. Yeah, no.
• 1:30
  It's kinda like ethereal music, but not really. I've heard a lot of made-up words lately, and I'm not really, really keen on it. It's, it, I think it's the utes. They're trying to make the...
• 1:39
  Well- I think my grandpa made up ute [laughs]... trying to get, get off my lawn. [laughs] Trying to carve on their own lexicon, I tell you.
• 1:45
  Dang, Cracky, I don't even know what you're saying, you- Push lexicon into the Merriam-Websters... small people. Not necessarily small. Garrett, uh, needed new shoes. Guess what? Size 10 now.
• 1:54
  He can't even wear my shoes anymore. Ha. Ha, ha. 13 years old, or 14, or whatever the hell it is. 14. He's 14. [laughs] The shoes will get there. I'm like- [laughs]... "Well, you need new shoes, buddy.
• 2:06
  Those are really-" I know... "looking kinda small on your feet." Speak to me, kids.
• 2:08
  I, uh, I, it backfired on me when my daughter asked if she could get her bellybutton pierced for her 15th birthday, and I said, "Sure, as long as I get to too." So? Okay. Oh, Lord. Let's see.
• 2:18
  Oh, Jesus, I'm not doing that. It's- Oh, no... oh, it's not done yet? Her 15th birthday hasn't come yet. Oh. Oh, right. So you got time to talk her out of it or- Or-... lock her in her room or...
• 2:28
  Or potentially build up the courage to do it myself. Uh, well, you got other holes in your body. I do. So. It's not really a big deal. Do it yourself. Do it yourself. Oh, hell damn, no.
• 2:38
  [laughs] Well, I just, like, I just caught the words you were saying, and I'm like, d- dude, I mean, I'd pierce- Oh, no... my own ear. Yeah. Oh, I do that all the time. But, uh- Where the hole already was? No.
• 2:47
  When I used to, every Friday night I used to use a safety pin 'cause my mom wouldn't let me have my ears pierced. I used a post- So that's-... my, for my first one... probably a good lesson.
• 2:54
  You don't want her using a safety pin on her bellybutton and it- I, no, I won't-... becoming-... if she's that-... septic or whatever the hell would happen... oh, God. I'm just wincing, just...
• 3:00
  [laughs] I poked my, I poked my finger, uh, with a piece of, uh- Well, you swore a lot... derailer wire, and that was very sharp. Both hurt. I know. And there's no denying it.
• 3:09
  That's 'cause it goes in, like, eight or 10 inches- Yeah... all the way up to your jugular vein- I know... or whatever, and it's like- It's crazy... oh, man. [laughs] And I got swiped by my Bobcat- The good news-...
• 3:17
  for fuck's sake... the good news is- Boy... we have a nice bike shop, and therefore that was at least [laughs] stainless steel. It is, yeah. Yeah. It did. That said, stainless steel isn't exactly stainless apparently.
• 3:27
  No. [motorbike revving] Ooh. [imitates motorbike] Or, or stainless- Some, uh, some little two-stroke motorbike just went rolling by. [imitates motorbike] Yeah. Coffee stains it pretty well. Mm-hmm.
• 3:37
  At least my Mir mug is getting stained. Mm. I love my Mir mug. I love coffee. I love coffee in my Mir coffee mug. There you go. M-I-I-R, Mir. Yeah. Or Mire. I don't know how the hell- Oh, I'll throw a shout-out-...
• 3:49
  see another one. I don't know how to pronounce that. [laughs] I'll throw a shout-out to my buddy- The Russian space station, Mir. Mir. That was M-I-U-R, though. No, that's John Muir you're thinking of.
• 3:58
  [laughs] And that's the trail. Wow. Yeah. Probably can't ride a bike- M-I-R... on the John Muir anyway. M-I-R is the floating thing. Just one I though. Yeah. The double I is- You can only spell Mir [laughs] with one I.
• 4:10
  [laughs] And- These inside jokes-... zing... zingers- We have fully digressed... are just flying over our shoulders and heads right now. Well, it's nice and cool out today at least. Oh, yeah, it's beautiful.
• 4:20
  Beautiful breeze off the lake. Went on a couple test rides today. I took a extra long test ride on that specialized dump, Jumper over there. Oh. With the- Extra... did a little, did a little cityifying on it. Yeah.
• 4:32
  It's, it's new wheels. It's been converted to a one by 10 and extra telestial tires. Ah, extra telestial.
• 4:39
  I, I do love those Surly bars, but what is it with Surly bars that spend, you know, like, eight minutes in the sun that they immediately [laughs] fade? Oh, I don't know.
• 4:47
  Every pair of Surly bars I own are now a light gray. [laughs] That's probably because it's patina'd now. Yeah. But, uh, boy, boy, those, uh, those, uh, extra telestials are nice. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
• 5:01
  I have, I've been more thick-slicking lately, but, uh- They are nice. Uh-huh. That's- I, I, I, I, they may go on, um, a 650B bike I'm doing, so. And they may be- Another s-... going on that, um- Oh, yeah...
• 5:14
  delightful baby over there. JK- Actually, they will be... JK's got, I already have them in, in the, in the cart ready for pushing the button. Ah, yes. I just have to push my buttons. I just have to push the cash.
• 5:25
  I have to push the button cash- [laughs]... over this way. JK's gonna sport the low side. Yeah. Surly low side. That's a good thing. Exactly. If I can- Take care of that. That thing'll be, like...
• 5:35
  It'll appreciate in value. Oh, yeah. Oh, I'm gonna make it pretty. Ooh. Especially with all the beer spilled on it and- Oh. Yeah. No, that's baptisms. [laughs] Beertisms. Beertisms. [laughs] Copyright Tony Burger.
• 5:50
  Thank you. Thank you. I'm here all day. [laughs] See about people making up words again. Yeah. And sharing them- Beertism... with the world. Oh, no. Yeah. Uh, got- That's proprietary rights, mine only. Grr.
• 6:03
  Ah, you know who I'm talking to. Dave Lutz, davelutz.com So we did get our WMSE art pieces- Yes, art... both, both JK and I. I see, uh, I see, uh, Joey Ramone looking at us from the show notes here. He is, yeah.
• 6:19
  He got mounted in the bathroom, so he watches me. [laughs] Wait a second. Really? Yeah. Well, that didn't come out right at all. [laughs] No. Sure didn't. [laughs] Woo-hoo, mounted in bathroom. You dug him up and...
• 6:29
  [laughs] He got nailed in the bathroom. La, la, la, la, la. No, that's not right either. La, la, la, la. So I, I- La, la, la, la And moving on. [laughs] Yeah, I haven't seen it in person yet. How does it look? Very cool.
• 6:40
  Very cool. Very blue, very blue. But it is hanging in the bathroom, so- I need to find-... watching and judging as people are in the bathroom...
• 6:48
  I need to find a structural member somewhere in the shop to hang the Mark Winter piece- Yeah, you do... 'cause it's got some- Oh, yeah... it's got some heft to it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The, the board- Member...
• 6:58
  the board I was dealing with was, you know, normal light. [laughs] Uh-huh. The, the good news if it, is if it were to fall off the wall, whatever's underneath it is gonna break, not it. No, right, for sure. Oh, yeah.
• 7:08
  I'm, I'm super happy- Yeah. Oh, yeah... with that piece. That's a, like you, you- That's a, I, I came in over the weekend to do plugin batteries, and I was like, "This is cool."
• 7:16
  And that's when I later ran into you, I'm like, "That's a really hot piece of art." And it was sitting on top of this table. Yes, that he also made. Well, not- Yeah... he made the metal part of it. Right.
• 7:26
  All the metal part. Maybe that should be a picture for the notes. Drager made the top part of it after the exploding glass incident. Mm. Yeah, so it- Never good. Oh, man, you should've been there for that.
• 7:37
  It was really loud. [laughs] At this point, the bathroom is, is covered with, now adding to the art, got the Joey- Aren't you worried about it f- like- [laughs]... going bad from all this humidity and such? No. Okay.
• 7:52
  No, not at all. It's, it's- Well, it's always gonna be moving around, is how I consider- Right, it's meant, it's meant to be- But, uh-... looked at, not- So then there's Joey... curated.
• 7:59
  I got Joey, I got Fight Club cast, got Tom Waits- Oh, Tom Waits there... judging. Yeah, right. Couple of towels. And on the, and then on the other side, Jack Nicholson. Oh, oh. Everyone's watching.
• 8:09
  And right above the bathroom- While you're pooping? Yeah. Nice. And right, yeah. And right above it is a Von Monks clutch, so. Nice. It is a good throne room, literally.
• 8:18
  [laughs] Of that collection, I would really like a Von Monks clutch. It was tempting. That was tempting. He was in on that auction, and I think- It went, it went a little more than I was probably- Yeah...
• 8:29
  ready, after I had, was already bidding on this one. And rightfully so. But I didn't read- He's super talented. Oh, of course. Not that all the artists weren't super talented, but- Right, right, right.
• 8:36
  I just, it was a little out of my price range, but then I saw that he was using the, uh, glow in the dark paint on the Screamin' Jay Hawkins, and would have fuck- I would have really kind of recalibrated my financials
• 8:51
  to- Not-... at least throw my hat in the ring, you know? Well, luckily the Jeep didn't happen before the auction. Oh, shit, right? Yeah. [laughs] Jake- JK's Jeep took a temporary- Yeah... siesta. Setback.
• 9:02
  [laughs] Only a day or two, thank you, Jake. He'll fix it up quick. So speaking of Jeeps, something coming up here I'm super interested in, because part of the, um,
• 9:14
  part of the appeal of it is that it can carry a couple of bikes inside, and it's fairly small. Is the new, the new small version of the Bronco, they've got two of them coming out. Oh, yeah.
• 9:25
  It's the Escape, uh, based one, not the larger, uh, Bronco, but it's got a, a bar right in the back door that holds the forks, and then you put the wheels between the seats, and- Can-...
• 9:39
  that seems pretty damn cool to me. Can the, uh- Can you make it a convertible?... top come off? Yeah. Yeah. Not, not- Roof side style? Not, not on the- That's what, that's totally fucking roof side...
• 9:46
  I don't think on the small one. On- Nope, not happening then. On the big one, yes. Yeah. And you can take the doors off. Right. See. And they did some really cool stuff. Like, the mirrors are mounted on the body.
• 9:55
  Two 10 millimeter bolts and an electrical connection and the doors come off. Does it come in white? Oh. Uh, probably. Are we 25 years too soon- Probably... for the white Bronco? [laughs] I still like it. Too soon, 25?
• 10:05
  I don't know. Is it, when is the anniversary? It's, I don't know. I mean, it's been 25 years- I, I really-... 'cause it's been on Cory goddamn TV like every fricking night...
• 10:13
  I will consider that vehicle when I'm ready to purchase another vehicle, because that's, from a kid standpoint, when we were kids, that was the coolest vehicle of all.
• 10:22
  [laughs] Well, I know it was a cool Hot Wheel, I remember that. Yeah. Yeah. That, [laughs] there were some slick ass paint jobs on the Hot Wheels at least. So right on.
• 10:32
  Uh, just to finish up the auction thing, WMSE, make sure you guys listen to that, wmse.org. Indeed, indeed. And stream it- It's-... especially on Thursdays- Yeah... from 12:00 to 3:00. Yeah. Central Standard Time.
• 10:43
  Uh, there's a couple of good- And- Oh, yeah, there, yeah, there's something for anybody... nearly every archive for years and years ago, they're all- Yeah, I think it's like 14-... good. Yeah...
• 10:51
  ish years, 14, 15, something like that. I mean, e- here and there. Yeah. There are some that, you know- Well, I, I have-... don't exist anymore...
• 10:58
  I have some of their, a- and granted, my music tastes are a little different and weird from a lot of people, but I have some of their, like, techno shows from late night Saturday nights from, like, 1999. Nice.
• 11:11
  Nice, nice, nice. 2000. [laughs] Yeah. I have it on CD of all things. [laughs] Yeah, my, my old roommate had a, a, it was, like, during a pledge drive from the early '90s, and it was just great.
• 11:29
  It was just great. I mean, he, you know, he couldn't get shit on his radio, but his, you know, tape deck worked. So anytime driving around, it was just, like, oh, just the most killer, like, garage-y...
• 11:40
  Mm, it was so much fun. Yes, yes. Invoking the- And WMSE-... Day of Dawn of the Dead... has been that good that long... they are getting new, uh, new turntables and CD players, I believe. No, they just got 'em.
• 11:52
  Or they just got 'em. Yeah, someone was, uh, it was either Von Monks, no, it was, someone was just talking about the fact that, uh, they got them in and it was very exciting. It was probably Von Monks.
• 12:03
  It's good to have new gear. Yes. I, uh, I came upstairs and heard my wife talking to someone via- Oh... some sort of video chat, and I'm like, "Wait a minute" Molly, are you talking to Sonia? Why, yes, I am.
• 12:19
  [laughs] Yep, yep, yep. I know. I, I'll jump o- well, in the days when I was on campus and we'd go through the an elevator, I'd hear- The an elevator?
• 12:28
  Is that [laughs] In the an elevator, yeah [laughs] I heard- That sounds like a movie... I heard- It sounds like you can get in there and just- Same building, I heard her voice- Yeah...
• 12:35
  and it was like, "Oh, yeah, you are completely... Okay, that makes sense now." [laughs] Right on. Uh, we, we did some riding this past weekend. Yeah. Mm. A, as an odd recon that yielded a result, I believe.
• 12:51
  Proba- probably not the result we were hoping for. No, no, but, you know, you have to do things with an A. Set your expectations and you realize that it's not gonna work there. Well, you know- Exactly...
• 12:59
  the, the Steel Is Real is gonna be virtual this year, or there'll be a route and a sh- a T-shirt, 'cause I already have the design. [laughs] But, um- Sign me up... there will be
• 13:13
  no going north [laughs] as far as I can tell. We, you know, because I think the original idea of the ride was to rekindle some of the old Fat Tire Tour from the olden times- Yeah, exploration... back in the '80s.
• 13:27
  And the Fat Tire Tour got so big that it really wasn't possible to go to a lot of the seedier, more, uh, esoteric, uh, bars and/or joints in Milwaukee. Mm-hmm.
• 13:39
  And I really had, I thought we could figure something out going north, but once [laughs] once we got into the territory where dad beers cost as much as a good- Oh, yeah, yeah... [laughs] a good microbrew- You were-...
• 13:51
  you're like, "What?" Yeah, you were at 3.75, and then next stop it was my turn to buy, and then it turned to 4 [laughs] fucking 50. [laughs] For, for- Coors Lights...
• 14:00
  like, no, Coors Lights or Pabst Lights- [laughs] And Coors Lights... were like beer water, and it's like, "Really?" [laughs] I paid 50. I didn't realize it, I just got, uh- So it was, uh- I got a Lakefront for five...
• 14:08
  it was Spanky's and Libby Montana's. Um, you know, uh, I guess North Shore people can afford that stuff, but- Yeah, I mean- First of all, they're not seedy enough at all. No.
• 14:17
  Especially now that you really can't- You- You can't do anything in them or go to You pay 4.50 for a Coors, they better have a sucker stamp waiting for you, too, because Jesus Christ. They should just slap...
• 14:26
  You, you, have you seen that dude that has the gun that shoots the face mask at the person and it's- No. [laughs] I'd, I'd like to see if it actually, if he can make it stay on their face, 'cause that would be cool.
• 14:37
  But you should have a sucker gun that just shoots it right at your forehead. [laughs] Yeah. Speaking of suckers, I accidentally was bored one day and pulled up a People of Walmart page.
• 14:48
  Oh, God, that's a- And oh, my God- That's a r-... during COVID and face masking-... rabbit hole... let me tell you, [sighs] there's a lot of weird fucking people out there. The one wearing a thong as a face mask? Yeah.
• 14:59
  Yeah. Yeah. Or the one wearing- Well, that happened all over... just a single piece of two-ply over his, like, nose and part of his mouth. [tsks] People suck. And like everyone commented- Goddamn... people suck...
• 15:09
  that they hoped it was two-ply. So you've, uh- Cover, cover your dick and balls. Dick and balls. Nose and chin. Nose and chin, dick and balls.
• 15:17
  [laughs] If you see somebody with their nose out, say, "Your dick's hanging out." It'll make them think. That, especially if they're a woman. Exactly. [laughs] That's the other loving point.
• 15:29
  I, I'm wondering how many people are gonna come back from Sturgis and spread this. Oh, wow. 'Cause that looked like a shit show. [laughs] There was one case already- Yeah... or one bar- Yeah, one bar had a-...
• 15:40
  at the center... yeah Well, m- in the epicenter You know, they're, they're doing phone tracing from Vegas, too, and, you know, 50,000 people a weekend go to Vegas from all over the country. It's shit, right?
• 15:49
  800 from Milwaukee alone- No... on one weekend in J- late July. You know, so I'm not going back there to work anytime soon. [laughs] Fuck no. [laughs] But, uh- Good Lord...
• 16:02
  well, you know, I mean, uh, so being outside is a good thing, and the Steel Is Real thing, I think, we're gonna have to do another recon run now. Oh, of course. Which will be
• 16:14
  back to familiar territory towards the east and the south, I guess. Right. West side. Well, west, west could- West and the south West. West. We can do anything but north, basically. Yeah, that's what it sounds like.
• 16:26
  Which you can't- Well, and it was, I mean, you know- Unless we wanna do like a 70- Sorry, not sorry, north, but I mean- We could do a 70 mile Steel Is Real- Well, I mean-... and then we could get to some seedy bars...
• 16:34
  well, even, what if we... Yeah, no kidding. What if we threw- Well, yeah, you really, yeah. Exactly... or just drop in... DJ Full as the mix and asked him for a couple of places and kinda made like a,
• 16:44
  like a south/Stalika roll? Stalika's- Oh... Stalika's got more seediness per, uh- Block... cubic inch than any other- Yeah, no, yeah... place in Wisconsin. Yeah. [laughs] That's ri- that's ripe for picking. Right?
• 16:56
  Uh, speaking of which, and it just reminded me, I, it came across, um, the 12th of September, Goonie Ride. I- Oh, okay. Well-... it came up... so we'll- Nice... just planning accordingly.
• 17:10
  And that's a definite southern- And that works because I think we're thinking the 19th, which is a Saturday- Yeah... of September- Yeah... for the Steel Is Real virtual ride.
• 17:22
  I'm trying to figure out how to still do judging.
• 17:23
  I'm thinking maybe people can take photos and we can- Insta- The Grammys and- If, if I get real ambitious and do, like, a SurveyMonkey survey or something, maybe we can assign numbers and, and vote.
• 17:34
  But really, that, I, I thought that was one of the best parts of the Steel Is Real is you get 80 people with steel bikes- Right... and there's different categories, and you... [laughs] I don't know.
• 17:49
  Well, you said SurveyMonkey. Survey, oh, SurveyMonkey. Oh, I'm getting it now. Yeah. No, you, I mean, the- [laughs]... and there's different categories to, to judge, judge people on, or their bikes. Yeah. Exactly.
• 17:59
  Judge people's bikes, and by proxy judge them. Exactly. But, um, so the, that's not, I don't think- There's- I don't feel comfortable that we're gonna be able to make that happen. No.
• 18:08
  I mean, Notre- For, for their benefit... freaking Notre Dame just shut down again- Yeah... after eight days being in session, so. If there's, if, yeah, if the, there's the interest and the what have you- Yeah...
• 18:16
  and people end up Attempting to congregate a bit, then stagger start. Sure. You know, and- You know, there are certain... This is the ride every year that there's certain people I only see this one day a year. Yeah.
• 18:29
  You know? For sure. The rally guy. I can never remember his name. The three-speed guy? Yeah. He's got, like, 400 rallies. The- I mean, that guy, that... I love that man...
• 18:37
  the wood- And what's, what's the, the what- And then the wood bike with some steel. God, yeah. And the, uh, taps. What's the three-speed guy's name? 'Cause he's, he's like the...
• 18:43
  He, he bought every three-speed part in a f- the tri-state area. That's the rally guy, right? Well, maybe it's the same guy. Yeah, it's the same guy. [laughs] I, I'll break. He's on the tweed.
• 18:51
  This is why we need to figure this out. He's on the tweed ride or whatever. Yeah. Tweed ride.
• 18:54
  So I think my general idea is that we'll have a basic window on the day of that we'll be at certain spots, but you can kinda do it all month or whatever. Yeah, yeah. I mean, you know what? Something like that, you know.
• 19:07
  People are riding where they ride and- Hey, speaking of rides. I'm gonna ride all the way to the damn fridge. H- how about, how about, how about... [laughs] Wait a second. [bell ringing] Hey. Top of the hill.
• 19:20
  Uh, JK's running to the fridge. I'm running. So, uh- We have, we have two different beers this week... right? You know, Tony can explain what we got just because- Well, we, we...
• 19:29
  You know, I was walking to Sunrise and didn't really wanna shop at Sunrise, because the guy's been... Let's just say I didn't wanna shop at Sunrise.
• 19:38
  And I was walking past Black Husky, and what should happen to be outside of Black Husky but pretty good-looking dog. Was it a black husky? It was not. Oh. It was a shepherd, Akita, husky mix
• 19:53
  with a little bit of bull in, they thought, they thought. But So I decided I'll go into Black Husky and I'll get us two four-packs. Thank you, JK. And we'll in fact just
• 20:04
  carry on with, with Tim and Tony's beers because they're good people. So we're having a Dogfather and a Vain. And it's good stuff. Vain-iter. Yeah. The, you know.
• 20:16
  Oh, by the way, whatever the, the other Vain that's in there, I would not touch it for a good half hour, 'cause it fell on the ground. [laughs] Good call.
• 20:23
  And it- [laughs] Maybe you just gotta do a little- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah... thumpy, thumpy, thumpy, thumpy, thumpy, thumpy. Oh, yeah, yeah.
• 20:28
  But there's four and- Dogfather, i- it's funny, 'cause Dogfather is, oddly enough, 6.8 and 42 IBUs. And- Well, you know Tim likes his big beer... and Vain is, are you ready for this? 6.8 and 42 IBUs. [laughs] Hey.
• 20:45
  By cracky, how does he do it? He's just magical. Consistency. You know, you can go over there to Black Husky if you're in the Milwaukee area, and you can get the worst tour of breweries- And if you-...
• 20:57
  or a brewery in Milwaukee... and if you go back in time to this evening, which would be Wednesday, uh, there were the Pedro's South American- Empanadas... mm, empanada, the taco- If you've not had-...
• 21:09
  empanada truck en route... a Pedro empanada- I've seen it out there recently quite a bit. Well, you know why he moved, right? Or he's moving around. Mm, because- Big Daddy's Barbecue- Big, Big Daddy's...
• 21:20
  opened- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah... in the location- Well, I knew they were... Yeah, yeah. Okay. Which I am also extremely stoked about, because he is having soul food Sundays. Oh, a brunchy brunch?
• 21:32
  It's a soul food brunch, man. Mm-hmm. There is- Oh... virtually nothing that would be [laughs] better than that. I'm telling you. Macaroni and cheese, fried green tomatoes- Uh-huh... collard greens, and barbecue.
• 21:45
  Who are you? I'm a freak that loves food. [laughs] Oh, yeah. Hell yeah. I'm more on the, the Hollandais side of the, uh- Oh... breakfast aisle. Branch out once in a while. Good Lord. Yeah. I don't know.
• 21:58
  Mac and cheese for breakfast? Wow, that guy just- Ah... almost hit your bikes. Look at that shit, dude. Oh. What's he doing? I'll open mine first too. Why do people U-turn- I know... on the narrowest street in the city?
• 22:08
  Why don't you just go around- And busy... this fucking block? Yeah. Just drive around the block. That's too far, man. That's too far. It's really- Three lefts make a right... right. That's too far.
• 22:14
  Ask UPS, why do they always turn- That's, yeah, that's too far... you know, one direction? Because they don't wanna cause accidents. I never knew there's... I turned left. Zoolander. Oh. Sorry. Oh. Oh. [laughs] Shit.
• 22:28
  What? Ah. So, bike path. Welcomes to the radio program caller. Who do we have on the line? Big Sexy. Big Sexy. What's that say? Dude, you're almost like a co-host now.
• 22:43
  Yeah, well, I really enjoy calling in and, and saying what's up to you guys. Um, I'm, I'm on the road and, uh, it's just me and Heather, and, uh, I talk to her all the time, but she doesn't say much back.
• 22:59
  And when she does, it's bad news, so. [laughs] Like most women. Stifle, Heather, stifle. I, I was really trying to listen to what you guys, y'all were talking about before I came on.
• 23:13
  Um, something about mac and cheese for breakfast? Yes, that is a fucking perfect breakfast. Thank you. Especially with like some s- some, uh, some, uh, breakfast sausage all, uh, grilled up and put in there. Yeah, boy.
• 23:28
  Damn right. And to directly- Or, or, um- And to directly quote The Replacements, "All I want is a beer for breakfast." Yeah. Let's, let's, let's go with the multiple choice thing again.
• 23:39
  We can talk about how much better Indiana is than Illinois. [laughs] Or we can talk about, uh, um, what happened to my phone this week, or we can talk about how awesome I am. We can- Wow...
• 23:56
  we can talk about- That's a tough one... who wants- Well, you, you, you were speaking of phones earlier. Yeah. I, I- So the phone ring. Tell us about your phone. All right. We already know how awesome you are.
• 24:07
  So I threw up, I threw up on my phone. Ha. I com- I, I puked on my phone. And that's how awesome you are. Yeah, good call. [laughs] Yeah.
• 24:17
  I, I, I mean, like, I was riding along this bike path and, like, out of nowhere I was like, "Blah," and I puked all over my phone, all over Heather, all over everything. I tried to clean it up, but my phone crapped out.
• 24:31
  It was all, it w- it was a, it was a bit cracked. You know, the, the screen was cracked and shit like that, so the moisture got into the- [laughs] Oh, no... system and, and it, and it, and it, it pooped out.
• 24:42
  [laughs] So thank God, um, I didn't, I didn't owe my brother any money, so he sent me 60 bucks, and I bought a new phone from the Walmart in Greencastle, Indiana. Wonderful people there.
• 24:58
  E- e- you know, everything was fine. And I w- it was a AT&T store in the parking lot. I got it all hooked up, I got it all fixed up. Everything's good. Nice segue into how much- I found a nice park-...
• 25:08
  better Indiana is than Illinois. [laughs] And how awesome you are. [laughs] And how awesome you are. Oh, thank you. [laughs] I see what you're doing here. I'll, I'll put it simply, uh, better than y- [laughs]
• 25:17
  In, in, in Indiana, cigarettes are $3 cheaper, the beer is a bit cheaper, the people are way nicer, the drivers are more respectful, and there are shoulders on the highways. There we go.
• 25:33
  I got one awesome thing about Indiana. My sister was born there. Oh. Oh, there you go. In Gary, Indiana? Gary. In Indianapolis. Ah. Unfortunately, she's no longer with us. Great song by Ben.
• 25:46
  What, what you got going on in the background there? You listening to music, or is that just a kid screaming at you? Or is that a- Yeah, it's, it's-... a big-dicked or small-dicked truck?
• 25:54
  It's I'm, I'm in this park, and they got some music pipes in. Oh, right on. Nice. I mean, it, it's, it's pretty, it's pretty sweet. I'm in this, uh, town north of M- uh, north of Indianapolis,
• 26:06
  and, uh, it's a pretty sweet park. Um, I got a outlet right here, and everything's fine. Nice. Um, so, so but it didn't end there. That when I found a nice park to sleep in that night, and I woke up at, like, what?
• 26:23
  5:00 AM, and I reached for my phone, and it wasn't there. And I'm like, "Oh, crap. What happened to my phone?" So I looked underneath my pillow. I looked underneath the sleeping bag. I tossed my campsite.
• 26:35
  I'm looking for my phone, and then there it was, floating in the ice water in my cooler. Dude. [laughs] Did this all happen- And this was like a-... or was this, like, this horrible fever dream?
• 26:49
  I, I- 'Cause it sounds like something out of- I... No, no, no, not even 24 hours old. Oh. [laughs] I hope it's IP67. I, I took it, I took it, I, I took it out. I, I tried to power it on. Nothing. It was just dead.
• 27:04
  So I took it back to Walmart. I still had the receipt. They exchanged it. Oh, nice. There you go. Atta boy. Atta boy. Am I the, am I the unluckiest lucky son of a bitch in the fucking world or what?
• 27:17
  [laughs] You said- How did it end up in the cooler? I mean, I, I swear to God, I thought I was fucked. I was like, "Oh, my God.
• 27:24
  Now I have to buy a new phone, and, uh, and it's gonna take me three days to get, come up with that kind of fucking money," blah, blah, blah. And then you have to go to a payphone. Hey, 20 bucks is 20 bucks. Right?
• 27:36
  Right? Oh, wait. [laughs] I can't go to a goddamn payphone.
• 27:39
  [laughs] Like, and, and with, with, with, with the COVID-19 coronavirus going on, do you think somebody's gonna let me use their phone to call my mother- Oh, exactly... and tell mom, right? No. [laughs] I mean, it, it...
• 27:52
  Dude, I, I got, I lucked out so huge. Yeah, for sure, dude. For sure. All right, where, where are you headed next, B- Big Sexy? I was gonna call him BS. That just seems... [laughs] Uh, where are you headed next?
• 28:05
  What's your- At the mo- at the moment, I'm heading to, I'm heading to Battle Creek, Michigan, to spend some time with my auntie. Nice. And then I'm gonna, uh, make a smooth move over to Detroit and, uh, South Detroit.
• 28:19
  I got a girl in South Detroit that's right in, uh, the Journey song, right? [laughs] Where's Dave Lombardo? Oh. [laughs] Dave Lombardo hair is burning twice then.
• 28:29
  And I'm, I'm gonna spend some time with them, and then it's on to Charleston, West Virginia. It's, uh, that'll be capital number 25. Right on. Wow. Halfway there. That's a long ways.
• 28:40
  Hey, when you're in, uh- You're not, though, 'cause now there's 51... when you're in Detroit, uh, any chance you're gonna stop by Detroit Bicycles? I understand they're doing really well over there.
• 28:48
  It's, um, you know, they make, they make stuff in the US of A, and they also help people, uh, get their bikes made overseas too, which is kinda cool. You should definitely stop in and see them. I mean,
• 29:02
  I, I can, I can, I can, I can make it a point to visit that place if you wanna send me a link or something. I will endeavor to persevere on that. Pursueth. [laughs] Pursueth. I would, I mean, like, don't get me wrong.
• 29:14
  I, I have got, I've got, um, uh, bike shop stickers on the, on the left, on the left fender. I have all bike shop stickers. Oh, nice. I like to collect them.
• 29:26
  Even, even if I don't need anything from the bike shop, I still like stopping at the bike shop, say, "Hey, you got a sticker?" Excellent. Right, right, right. [laughs] All right, man. Well, it's good hearing from you.
• 29:38
  We're gonna wrap this sucker up, and, uh, we'll talk to you again soon. [laughs] Get a hit? Oh, puking on the phone again. Hey, did you get a hit? [laughs] By the way.
• 29:49
  No, I'm, I'm gonna puke away from the phone this time. [laughs] Thank you. Yeah, knowl- yeah, age comes wisdom. Good call. Boom, boom, boom. No, I, I appreciate you guys having me on, man.
• 29:58
  Don't, don't, don't get me wrong. Everything is fine. Um, I, I w- don't wanna say this too loud, but Heather is riding like a dream.
• 30:05
  I don't even know what the fuck's going on with her right now, but she's- Don't question it... no, no trouble. Yep. Don't look that gift horse in the mouth, bro. Right? All right, brother, we'll talk to you soon.
• 30:14
  I'm gonna, I'm, I'm gonna whisper that like- Ah. [laughs]... quietly. [laughs] Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. Later for you. All right, guys. Take it easy now. You too. Be safe, Big Sexy.
• 30:27
  Take care of those screeching- Every day... apes or... [laughs] I mean, man, it sounds like a damn zoo. I mean, literal zoo Yeah, it's kinda like the- [laughs]...
• 30:38
  sorta like the, I don't know, it's like a, it like- Well, the-... the noi- the noise gate in the 5G phone scenario, just sort of... [imitates static] Well, it just makes- Yeah... weird sounds, so anyway.
• 30:52
  Like Chaka- It's always good to hear from Big Sexy. Always. Chaka from Land of the Lost. Uh- Chaka... did we talk about, did we talk about the Black is Beautiful ride? No, we did not. Nope.
• 31:02
  That's what we were gonna do, and then we had the car- I, and I thought we had nothing to talk about today. [laughs] Man. No. We always have something, you fiends.
• 31:08
  Uh, Black is Beautiful this time was bigger than last time. And what was amazing is it didn't seem like it when it started, but it just- No... grew- It did not... and grew. I think people were late to get out of bed.
• 31:21
  And there were some, um, angry white people out there that really, you know... It was really sad. But the rest of the event was absolutely beautiful.
• 31:31
  Maybe you were in a different spot than I was, 'cause I, well, I was kind of- Oh... h- I was helping block traffic and trying- Yeah... to be more of the, uh, the herder of- There-... 3,000 people... it, it should- Hm...
• 31:43
  it should come as no surprise that there was a white man in a pickup truck who kept yelling, "Burn, loot, and murder." And then there- What is that? What is that? Oh, that's BLM. Yes.
• 31:55
  And then- I, I always, you know, when it first started, to be fair- To be fair... to be fair- To be fair... I always thought of Bureau of Land Management, because that's all- That's-... BLM ever meant to me...
• 32:04
  that's that, me, and me as well initially... having, having been a Montana guy and a Wyoming guy- Yeah... for years, that's pretty much- And, and-... all you find out there...
• 32:10
  there was a pretty seriously agro woman on Water Street next to Milwaukee Brewing Company, who was just shouting at the top of her lungs at everyone that rode by. Ah. It was, you know, it was- Sad...
• 32:24
  but it was sad, but you know what? The rest of the event, and everyone- Yeah... like, just ignored both- Yeah... more or less ignored both of those people.
• 32:32
  And there was a guy in a Mercedes who was pissed off and went around the crowd, but other than that, the rest of the ride- I hear that's a German Chevrolet. German Buick or Chevrolet. Oh. Oh, yeah.
• 32:42
  Uh, yeah, there was, I mean, there was a minimum of 3,000 people- Oh, sure... on this ride. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it was incredible. You know what? If you see a 3,000-person bike ride- Sit back and enjoy... turn- Or-...
• 32:53
  the other-... turn the fuck around and go the other way. Right. Yeah. I mean, the city is big. If you, yeah, if- You can go wherever you want. You don't have to- If you fi- if you find yourself in it,
• 33:03
  and you're trying to- You can get out of it... go out of it, you know, they'll let you take a right- To get out of there... to get out of there. Yeah. I mean, you know, and we- I mean, I've, I've been, yeah...
• 33:10
  we went through some of the, the, the main streets of the city, and I- Yeah... I, for the most part, I think it went really well. Mm. Uh, for the most part, I, every, almost every photo I took, people were wearing masks.
• 33:21
  Yep. Mm-hmm. People in this thing are respecting the fact that we're in a shitshow of a, of virus. Um, and there were skateboarders, there were rollerbladers, there were walkers.
• 33:31
  There was one guy that walked the whole freaking route. The, the- Uh-... young woman who was on regular old roller skates bopping through the whole show, unbelievable. Yeah. Unbelievable. And, and, and about 97% bikes.
• 33:46
  Yeah, yeah. And, well, yeah. Um- Yeah, it's, yeah... and, and, and, and a good contingent of Bublr bikes, I noticed. [laughs] Yes. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that, that- Which would be our, our bike rental thing in there. Yeah.
• 33:55
  Well, I heard- Or, or share bike, whatever you call it... that, that the dance was, um, they, for, they did the forgoing of any, uh, fees. Oh, yeah, they were- Oh, here's an idea for-... boom, boom, boom for that day...
• 34:04
  Milwaukee By Bike and Mr. Chris Zito. Get some freaking bikes in the Black is Beautiful ride. Yeah.
• 34:11
  And anyone else that's listening to this podcast, you should keep an eye on Black is Beautiful Facebook page, 'cause- Yeah... the next ride, gotta do it. Hey, speaking of that, what about the, uh...
• 34:20
  They, so they do a raffle for a bike and a skateboard. I- Oh, I didn't check. I put my money in for the skateboard, but I- Me too...
• 34:24
  I don't know where to find out if I have a new skateboard, because my old one- Yeah, yeah, yeah... was in the garage, and it had an 80-pound bag of concrete on it- [laughs]... which was moved by the skateboard.
• 34:35
  So I put it on there to move it, and then I forgot about it- Forgot it... and left it on there, and then it became an 80-pound anchor, which we've- [laughs]... probably talked about before.
• 34:43
  But the skateboard started to delaminate a little bit, so- Ah... probably shouldn't ride that board anymore, and I could really use a new board. I, yeah.
• 34:51
  Speaking of boards, and also, uh, all hail the black market, I guess, he's just had a [laughs] he's got a new board. Check it out. Probably everybody already knows about, uh, Steel O'Kaneval, but-
• 35:02
  I really- Why don't we just tell people that they can host? I just want, I want my Christian Hosoi back. Oh, man. I was a Ray Rodriguez guy, man. Bone's my main. Bone's, man. Totally.
• 35:13
  I had, I had, uh, and the Br- and a Brand X. So what am I pushing again- I actually, I think it's still winter... for the next week? Uh, I got some Swiftwick socks to check out, Pursuit Ultra Lights.
• 35:20
  Yeah, they're pretty cool. I've worn them a couple times. I'll let... I, I'm actually gonna write a story about that on fatbike.com. Got a couple bikes I'm trying out. Blah, blah, blah. I'm looking at our show notes.
• 35:28
  We drank some beer. Oh, here's shit worth doing. I like this part. The Great Autumn Equinox Campout. Oh. That's a Swift thing. Oh.
• 35:37
  Which would normally be, it's kind of, normally it would be a big deal, and with routes and all this and that, and I think with the social distancing,
• 35:46
  um, I, people can still do this, but if things are really bad, camp in your backyard for fuck's sake. Why not? Right? And this is, I think, September 26th and 27th.
• 35:54
  Sixth year in a row, thousands of adventurous spirits will load camping gear on their bikes for a weekend adventure. Check it out. It's at swiftcampout.com.
• 36:06
  We still have some bikes to sell, although JK's buying that, uh- Yeah... low side. So that's not- Oh, no. You can't have that. I'm gonna take that- No, take it off... matter of fact- Get away. Don't even look at it...
• 36:14
  I'm gonna take that as a freaking lister right now. Don't even talk about it. Man. Mine, mine, mine, mine. Ooh, I got a couple of Wyatts if anybody's looking for Wyatt.
• 36:21
  [laughs] Oh, okay, Tony, throw your shit up right now. [laughs] Whoa. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Move that. Come on, put a big old- Don't touch that bike. Don't even look at it. Don't touch it. Don't even look at it.
• 36:31
  Um, we got a bunch of- Come on, put a bi- big old circus-style sold thing on it. Right. You know what? [laughs] Hey, that's all we got time for this week, I guess. [laughs] Indy-ditty.
• 36:44
  [upbeat rock music]