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Learning To Forgive With Somer Colbert · She Speaks Life - Christian Women, Strengthen Your Faith, Bible Study, Grow Spiritually In Christ

• 0:02
  Hi listeners. Welcome to the.
• 0:04
  She speaks live podcast a weekly encouragement where we share our
• 0:09
  God's stories. I'm your host.
• 0:12
  Jamie Elizabeth and I am so glad you are spending time with us
• 0:16
  today to listen. Hey friend, welcome back to, she
• 0:22
  speaks Life podcast. I have with me author and
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  podcaster summer kolbert. And she will be sharing with us
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  about her experience with church hurt.
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  And the steps she took to begin this, oftentimes difficult
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  healing process and she's also going to talk with us about
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  marriage and how that affects us when we can get wounded in
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  church. Hi, Summer.
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  Welcome to she speaks life. Hi, thank you so much for having
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  me today. I'm excited.
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  Yeah, it's gonna be a very important topic.
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  I know I have been through a similar experience, not too long
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  ago and I'm excited that we got to meet here.
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  Your podcaster yourself. Your podcast is called love
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  where you are, which is such a great title and I was kind of,
• 1:20
  you know, looking into your website and how that all got
• 1:26
  started and you said, love in Hebrew is a Harbour, am I
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  pronouncing that right? That's right.
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  Okay, and I love how you just broke that down to being
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  intentional, having it Be Love through an intentional mindset
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  and how we are to serve others through.
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  Actions of love and you wear, many hats.
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  You're also an advocate for adoption.
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  And do you want to just speak on that?
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  Yes. Absolutely.
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  I am. Actually, I recently accepted
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  the role of director of adoption and Foster Care with my local
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  church here in Arkansas. And I serve on staff with the
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  Arkansas, Baptist Children's Home and Family Ministries as
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  connected champion, and that is a division of our ministry.
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  Which Us' on Foster Care and Adoption creating that awareness
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  and championing. The body of Christ to step back
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  into the need for kids, who they need safe places and Christian
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  families to love them and to share Christ with them.
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  So I'm privileged to get to do that.
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  On top of raising my 3/4, we have a young man that we also
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  mentor and so he's with us a great deal of the time and so
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  the Lord has just opened the door and created a lot of
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  opportunities for me to learn to be able to pour back out.
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  Is this heart and this message that you have shared about Jamie
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  with ahava being the word that originally was a word that my
• 2:58
  husband was given for a child that we thought that we were
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  adopting in Africa and so when that adoption fell through we
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  walked through the grease stages of that and learn that actually
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  the Lord was birthing a Ministry for us in that name rather than
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  a child. And so what we love about that
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  word is if you study and you break it down in the Hebrew the
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  word Aha 5, which is the root word of ahava means to give and
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  so a Havas, the, the Hebrew word for love, but it really is
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  talking about a giving. And so that's where I get that
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  that action of just intentional love and to love is to give of
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  yourself and the sacrificial way.
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  So it's been cool how the Lord has crafted this story for us
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  and this message and that I get to share it with others.
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  Hmm. Sony, I love that story and I've
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  never heard of the Hebrew meaning.
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  So That is so cool. And I know, adoption and Foster
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  Care. That is also important.
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  I mean, I was one of the things Jesus told us was, you know,
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  take care of the widows and the, and the children.
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  And so I love that you're involved in that.
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  I know I'm involved in all God's children and they take care of
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  the orphans and the widows. And I know that's a big passion
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  of mine, too. So a lot.
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  So cool. Yeah.
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  Yeah, so let's get right into what we're going to talk about
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  here on what is even Church her. I think most of us may know
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  already but you know, this seems to be a little more common than,
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  you know, you think as I've walked through it I'm like wow
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  there is a lot of women who have gone through this and you know,
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  people were imperfect, you know, even pastors and Leaders, you
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  know? And and so things are going to
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  happen to where we get offended. And I think it's very
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  therapeutic and encouraging and inspiring to hear other people's
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  stories on how they overcame and went through that healing
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  process because the Lord doesn't want to staying there and stuck.
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  But how do we get through to the other side?
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  Because we all know when, We're sitting and unforgiveness.
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  It's just gonna shrink this back and it's going to, You Know, The
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  Enemy wants to just warn us off of our course of our race that
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  were running for, for Christ and he'll do everything possible and
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  unforgiveness will just eat you up with bitterness inside and
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  keep you from moving forward. So, I would love for you.
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  Just start us out with that and how that kind of carried through
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  in your marriage as well. Mmm.
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  Yeah, it really is true. There's so much to what you just
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  said Jamie and because we do, we have to recognize that whenever
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  there's more than one person in the room there's potential for
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  conflict, right? Because we are sinful beings and
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  that's how it is this side of heaven.
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  And as we're both walking, our own individual journeys of
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  growing with the Lord, we can't always expect that the person
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  that we are, you know, interacting with is going to be,
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  and that same part or that same level of their spiritual journey
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  and So, you know, I think it's important to recognize that when
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  you've experienced Church heard and actually just did a podcast
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  episode on my show about this and we called it.
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  How did how do I deal with Mean Girls in the church?
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  Because we've all had, it's very similar to what you're talking
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  about. Just dealing with those mean,
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  girl moments when you have felt talked about when you felt not
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  included when there has been just a very direct conflict for
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  whatever reason, you know, the church is not exempt from that
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  because we're all sinful humans and so it's already a battle to
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  fight. That expectation.
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  I feel like as Believers that an outside world is looking at us
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  and putting pressure on us as though we're supposed to be
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  perfect. When we're not, we're loved by a
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  perfect. God, that doesn't mean that we
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  ourselves are perfect and we're still growing and him, and we
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  still fall short and we still do hurtful things sometimes
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  intentional, and sometimes unintentional, and that can
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  reflect where we are in our spiritual journey with the Lord,
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  you know, when you're spiritually immature, you have
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  the potential to be very hurtful and so it really there.
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  There's so much to just focusing on your own walk with the Lord
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  and I think that comes with wisdom and I think that comes
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  with asking for wisdom and because God wants to reveal
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  these things, he wants to grow as but he also knows when we're
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  teachable and when we're not. And so unfortunately, these
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  hurtful situations do take place and, you know, you have
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  experienced it, I've experienced, I think most people
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  have experienced it in some way or another.
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  And that's why we see so much inconsistency in attendance in a
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  local body of Believers. It's why we see Church hopping
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  If you will, because you go one place, you don't feel welcomed.
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  Or somebody said something hurtful, or you might even just
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  perceive an offense and it made you feel uncomfortable.
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  And the enemy can use that over and over again.
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  To if you've been hurt in one place, then you take that
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  wounding to the next and then it can just compound because
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  you're, you're still carrying that that wounding, that you
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  haven't dealt with, like, you were talking about that, and
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  forgiveness. And he can just cause you to
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  feel that over and over again and remind you of that and Rob
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  you of the potential to really set roots and the Next place,
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  and the next and the next. And so it renders you
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  ineffective in the Kingdom because we know from the New
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  Testament that the Lord designed us, he wants us to be in a body
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  of Believers and in fellowship with one another and walking out
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  our spiritual journey in our lives together.
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  So then he hates that, he knows that where two or three are
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  gathered in his name that there he will be in great will be
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  their peace. And so you know, he wants to
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  disrupt. So we have to look at the enemy
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  himself and his goal and he is unrelenting in his pursuit of
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  our destruction and that includes us Julie it includes
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  our families and includes our marriages and it includes the
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  church. He wants to destroy.
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  He never relent on that. And he never wears out even
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  though we do. And that's why we need to lean
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  into the strength of the Lord and not the strength of
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  ourselves as we walk this out. So, I'm very passionate about
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  this topic. If you can't tell Jamie and it
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  is something that, you know, we have learned through a series of
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  different events. My husband and I were a part of
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  a church plant team several years ago that turned out to be
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  extremely hurtful. We'll both for us just as a
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  family within our marriage and then we came out of that and
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  started walking through the healing process of that only to
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  find ourselves and very hurtful situations and our kids
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  Christian School and there wasn't a church setting.
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  It was believers who were all in the same mindset of Christian
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  education. And then we just experienced
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  utter betrayal and you know, we've learned a lot of lessons
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  through all of that and we can get into that more.
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  I don't want to dominate the conversation here today but we
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  can get into that and just the lessons that we've learned but
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  That's been our experience in multiple ways.
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  The Lord has allowed those things to grow us to instill,
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  wisdom in us that we didn't have before we can see things coming
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  from a mile away. Now that maybe we didn't see
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  before, because we were spiritually immature, or we were
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  too trusting and an unhealthy sense and he also, I believe he
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  allow those things to happen so that we would move on to another
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  season of life and another season of service and Ministry.
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  So That's just in a nutshell, kind of our story and just my
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  heart for this topic. Yeah, I can relate definitely,
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  you know, and throughout I would say, the mistreatments I knew
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  from just seeing other families, just leave this church.
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  I didn't want to leave because I was just frankly, you know, hurt
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  and I'm going off my own. Will I really wanted to be
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  inside? God's will so you know, A
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  praying about it over a course of a few years of going through
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  just you know something's not sitting right.
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  You know, we find out later like lifestyle isn't matching with
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  what's going on on the stage. I mean there is just cracks that
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  the enemy has worked its way in and and that's something to that
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  we got to remember that we're not fighting, you know, flesh
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  and blood. But what's going on in the
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  hemily rums the evil forces. And so with that, We've got
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  spiritual weapons to battle that.
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  And so one of them, you know, is prayer, obviously, that's our
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  big weapon and, you know, the armor that we can read about in
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  Ephesians 6, but it was definitely something that I knew
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  in prayer as my spiritual weapon.
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  Hey, like I just don't want to leave because of my own, will I
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  want it to be God's will. So, finally, over a course of Of
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  sometime or family, we were released.
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  And, like, you were saying, I feel definitely that God allowed
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  this because of what he had for my next season.
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  My next chapter. Oh, when things are, you know,
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  matching up and your vision for your life and Leadership isn't
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  matching with other leaders Vision than you know there's
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  some things that you know you just need to step back and go
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  gosh you know this seems like Dead end, you know Lord like
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  either miraculously open the door or lead me another way and
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  so it was just for the right time, you know?
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  And that's something. I won't see until probably later
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  on why the timing was so much later.
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  But like you said, there's so much growth and going through
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  that that I know I'll be using later in life, you know, going
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  through. Do the whole forgiveness
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  process. So, speaking of that.
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  How did you guys go through the healing process?
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  Take us through the initial. Yes, we're her.
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  Okay, how do we respond to this? Mmm.
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  Yeah, it was kind of twofold for us because speaking of being
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  released like you were sharing, I wanted to get out way sooner
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  than my husband did. And so that was a real Our goal
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  and our marriage because I was seeing things that he simply was
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  not. And so there was this disconnect
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  between he and I because it was just compounding for me, more
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  and more and more every week and I was seeing things and it was
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  just unhealthy and it was really robbing me of unity in my
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  marriage. And so here I am as a loving
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  wife to an amazing husband. And I feel like I'm almost
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  losing him to a certain degree because he is remaining loyal to
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  this commitment that he made as we At this church plant.
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  Like I had shared and I was like, Lord, this is not good.
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  Like what do I do? And I'm trying to communicate
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  with him and it's falling on deaf ears.
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  And so now I've got hurt with my husband and with the church.
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  So I'm wrestling with all of this.
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  And I'll be honest, I was in a season of just survival mode for
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  a while. And this went on for an extended
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  period of time and little by little things started to happen
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  that he started listening. Just enough to where he was
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  considering and really praying about and genuinely rest.
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  With the Lord about whether or not our family should leave and
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  we got to a breaking point. We really did where things were
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  just really, really bad and I felt alone in my marriage, I had
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  a house full of people. At that point, we had three
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  kids. We had just adopted our
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  daughter, who was an infant who we were dealing with adoption
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  grief with her. And so, she would scream day and
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  night, my mom and dad were living with us.
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  My husband was gone all the time because of his church
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  commitments and his job and I was trying to keep the ship
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  afloat. Everywhere else And so I really
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  was just trying to survive and take breaths and keep the tiny
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  humans alive and sort of myself in the process.
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  And so I was about as worn down as you can imagine.
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  And I'm sure many of your listeners can relate to Seasons
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  like that in your life for different experiences that
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  they've had. And so, as we finally got to
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  that point where my husband came to me and said, I finally feel a
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  release from the Lord, I couldn't even express, Joy, or
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  even feel Joy and That moment because I was so weary and
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  broken that I just had kind of gone numb, if that makes sense.
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  And so it was very much a process over the course of
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  months and months and even years of him acknowledging and
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  understanding and my ability to communicate in a healthy way,
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  the hurt that I felt between he and I, and for the Lord to
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  slowly, begin to open his eyes and for him to see things for
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  what they actually were and what I've been telling him all along,
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  but I just had to wait for That moment for the Lord to reveal
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  that to him. And so again, being patient for
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  teachable moments when you yourself or somebody you love is
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  ready to receive from the Lord but he's trying to grow them in
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  and so that was a really tough one.
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  So I had to work through that process of forgiving, my husband
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  because I almost felt abandoned even though we laid in the same
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  bed every night and so that took some really tough conversations.
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  It took us learning how to communicate in a different way
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  than we ever had before in our marriage because up to that
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  point, things had been so easy. And so comfortable because he
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  really is and still is my best friend and my person.
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  I mean, he is this this side of heaven and aside from the
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  father. I mean, he is just my everything
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  and so that made it even harder. So through all of that it took
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  and we never did take the step for professional counseling, but
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  I would certainly Champion that for anybody who feels like that
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  would be helpful and who feels like they've hit a wall and
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  being able to communicate in a healthy way.
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  But just know that Oh, that why. It's not a one-and-done session,
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  it is something that does take time.
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  And so to be patient, I think that was one of the biggest
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  things and learning how to forgive him was understanding
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  that this was just a part of his story and I can't be frustrated
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  that he hadn't gotten the lesson yet.
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  Yeah, that's really hard for me because quite frankly in my own
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  flesh. I fuss at myself for what I
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  haven't learned yet for what I did wrong early in my parenting
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  years or in my marriage or how I've handled things wrong.
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  I don't have a lot of Grace for myself and so I had to learn how
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  to extend Grace to him and then of course, Self as well through
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  all of this because I thought oh why didn't I just say no from
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  the get-go? Why did I commit to this?
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  Why did I think this was a good idea?
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  I could have spared us all this heartache and frustration and
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  grief and know. We walked through it for a
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  reason and the Lord will continue to use that even if
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  it's just for somebody to hear our story today as they're
• 17:37
  listening and they can relate to it and be blessed by it and grow
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  from it then. Okay, that's worth it.
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  That's worth it for me. So, because that's our job,
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  right? And go back to that.
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  A hovel of, let me give of my story.
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  Let me give if my pain, my heart ached, The lessons that I've
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  learned so that you might benefit from it.
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  So that's been one thing as we stepped out of that.
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  I was fortunate to step right into a Bible study at a church
• 18:00
  that I had no affiliation with whatsoever.
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  I had a neighbor friend who invited me lady, who was
• 18:05
  teaching one locally and she's an author and a podcaster and
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  her name is Suzanne Eller and she had written a book called
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  the unburdened heart and it was a book on forgiveness.
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  And so I went several weeks just going through that study and
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  attending every week and again just Still coming out of that
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  numbness and and allowing myself to feel again and experienced A
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  Renewed life. And A Renewed just sense of
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  direction because I just felt so stuck.
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  And quite frankly, I felt trapped.
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  So that was one aspect of it. Stepping away from the actual
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  Church hurt that also took time because when we stepped away,
• 18:43
  everybody that was a part of our friend Circle are people that we
• 18:47
  did life with that ceased to be B because we stepped away.
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  So therefore we weren't a part of the group anymore and so we
• 18:54
  had to really be okay with that and understand that that was a
• 18:58
  part of it and that was honestly something that my husband needed
• 19:01
  to see that true friendships don't and that way that's not
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  how true friendships treat you. And so that was a part of that
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  learning process. And so all of that to say, It
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  was a take a deep breath and just survive for the day, kind
• 19:19
  of a season, if that's what you need, have a conversation.
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  When you feel like your heart is ready for it.
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  If you need and trust the Lord with the timing of the healing
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  process and there have still been triggers for me that have
• 19:33
  come up just even in recent months and years where something
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  will happen. It will trigger me all the way
• 19:38
  back to that hurt. And my husband will have no clue
• 19:42
  that he did something completely unrelated but It took me back to
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  the hurt that I felt when we were walking through that season
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  of life. And so I have had to do my own
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  tough work with the Lord, and in my own heart of, you can't just
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  keep going back to that. You can't just keep resorting
• 19:57
  back to that hurt that. You feel because we've healed
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  from it. Our marriage is amazing.
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  He is a wonderful godly man who truly was pursuing the Lord at
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  the time, misguided, as he may have been by toxic leadership,
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  he would still his heart was in the right place.
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  And so, I had to really choose To focus on what was good with
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  his intentions, what was good about him and his heart and then
• 20:21
  the heart behind the church. When we started that whole
• 20:24
  Endeavor was good but then you learn lessons and we experience
• 20:30
  toxic leadership and we experienced some things where
• 20:32
  there were there was massive overstepping and interference in
• 20:35
  our other life relationships to the point where, when we stepped
• 20:38
  away, that's why we have nobody because we've been isolated from
• 20:41
  anybody else in our lives. So that's a very long Long
• 20:45
  version of the story but we really did.
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  It was it was a patients in the process of forgiveness and
• 20:53
  learning to be okay with that and learning to not even ask the
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  Lord, why so much anymore. But what do you want me to learn
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  and Lord, would you just sit with me and helped me to heal
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  ya? That all that is so good.
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  I can just unravel each thing that you just talked about.
• 21:14
  Even So on my end and you know, it's so true.
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  When you experience that church hurt and I was telling my
• 21:25
  husband, I'm like, it's like cancel culture inside the
• 21:29
  church. Mike, we haven't heard from
• 21:32
  anybody, you know, when you decide to move on and you know
• 21:36
  you really do find like you were saying your true friends when
• 21:41
  you do leave because it's like when nobody She is like reaching
• 21:45
  out. Hey, let's grab lunch.
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  Haven't seen you in a while, you know, it's I call it the cancel
• 21:52
  culture inside. It's just it's true.
• 21:57
  And actually, I was talking to one of our pastors about this
• 21:59
  recently and he made a good point because he loves to study
• 22:02
  sociology and he's like, there's a danger when it becomes about
• 22:06
  tribalism. Yeah.
• 22:07
  Rather than what the New Testament Church church is
• 22:11
  supposed to look like. And that just really struck me
• 22:13
  and I had to sit Not for a little while, I'm thinking.
• 22:15
  Wow, you know, we can really be guilty of that, whether it's
• 22:18
  your kids sports team, whether it's the school you attended, or
• 22:22
  the church that you attend, it's not about loyalty to the tribe.
• 22:25
  Like this is the body of Christ, we're talking about.
• 22:27
  So let's not let's not muddy the waters and miscommunicate what
• 22:31
  theology is saying and what we believe and who were supposed to
• 22:35
  be as Believers. It's not about what building you
• 22:38
  walk in. It's about who we worship and
• 22:39
  who we serve and how we're supposed to treat one another
• 22:42
  based on what scripture says, That's so good.
• 22:45
  And so true. I mean right on.
• 22:47
  Yeah, the verse proverbs 18:24, it says there are friends who
• 22:52
  destroy each other but a real friend sticks closer than a
• 22:55
  brother and we can change that into a sister and you know, and
• 22:59
  unfortunately that happens when one leaves a church.
• 23:04
  But also it gives us and I'm saying me personally to know
• 23:11
  like if that happens in the future to somebody like Been
• 23:14
  there. I know it doesn't feel good.
• 23:17
  I'm reaching out to that person if I hadn't seen them in a while
• 23:20
  and absolutely see what's going on and not be a church click,
• 23:25
  you know, clicky with your church.
• 23:27
  Like you're saying tribe mentality and all those things I
• 23:31
  mean is just such a great awareness and A New Perspective
• 23:36
  to not do that in the future or not be that way in the future so
• 23:41
  quickly so good and I could totally Relate with you were
• 23:46
  saying with your friend inviting you to a Bible study, that was
• 23:50
  what happened to me too. And it was a study of
• 23:54
  Lamentations, right? So it's like, oh, you know,
• 23:58
  going through like, you know, pain and sorrow.
• 24:00
  But it was just a very interesting book of the Bible to
• 24:05
  study and it was just kind of the perfect time of just getting
• 24:09
  through and and seeing the Hope again.
• 24:12
  And after going Through so much rejection.
• 24:16
  And, and, and really it was, it was de further like the
• 24:21
  ministry, which which you could see the enemy trying to, you
• 24:25
  know, stop that from happening. I mean, it was, it was a
• 24:30
  rejection of wanting to advance discipleship with the women.
• 24:35
  So I could just see him, just trying to clog all that up and
• 24:39
  try to keep it from happening. So, but we all know like God's.
• 24:44
  Got something so much better when he, you know, takes us
• 24:49
  through something and shows us the way.
• 24:52
  And we're doing it according to his will, and I think, too.
• 24:57
  You're saying the gradual process of forgiveness, and
• 25:01
  that's important to know, because it's not a one-and-done
• 25:04
  thing. It's a constant thing to go to
• 25:07
  the Lord, and just be like praying and just receiving that
• 25:11
  forgiveness and knowing like, Jesus, commanded it.
• 25:14
  That we are defect, give others because he forgave us and that,
• 25:18
  you know, as a command. And it's and it's not just, you
• 25:21
  know, this I'm telling you what to it's for our own good so that
• 25:26
  we can live in Freedom and in abundance and not be bound up
• 25:32
  and held hostage and does bitterness and, and get off
• 25:36
  track and not do the well what he's called us to do.
• 25:41
  So, I love that. You're just explain.
• 25:44
  That is A gradual process because I know I just keep
• 25:47
  praying for those people. That's what helps for me.
• 25:51
  And I know you're talking about in your podcast that you had
• 25:56
  somebody on there saying, how to handle mean girls and we were
• 25:59
  talking about, you know, being wounded in the church.
• 26:02
  And I remember your guest saying, you know, Jesus prayed
• 26:06
  three times about unity and how important how?
• 26:10
  And, when I heard that I was like, he knew like we would Have
• 26:15
  like major division, not just, you know, in the world but
• 26:19
  within the body of Christ within our church.
• 26:22
  So that was a good eye-opener to just to know that it's important
• 26:29
  to forgive and hopefully get to that point.
• 26:32
  Where if we see that person, it doesn't sting any longer, right?
• 26:36
  Yeah. So, so what are your thoughts on
• 26:39
  forgiveness and and what are the things that helped you along the
• 26:44
  way? Mm-hmm.
• 26:45
  You know I have a friend who her whole Ministry is based around
• 26:48
  what she calls the love Challenge.
• 26:50
  And one of the things that she said a while back that has stuck
• 26:54
  with me and she said, I want to get to the point in my walk with
• 26:58
  the Lord where I am unoffending able and I thought, wow, that's
• 27:03
  amazing because we live in such a culture of offense.
• 27:07
  The slightest thing, I mean, if somebody breathes on you the
• 27:09
  wrong way, now you can be offended and just be all up in
• 27:12
  arms about it and caused so much destruction with Home and with
• 27:15
  your actions and that's exactly what the enemy wants.
• 27:18
  And it really is harder to do, less to do nothing to just sit
• 27:24
  with the Lord to not take it to social media to not take it, to
• 27:27
  other people to not involve other people that were close to
• 27:30
  the situation, like my guest was talking about on our recent
• 27:33
  episode, you know, that's the easy thing to do.
• 27:36
  Because when we feel that sting of offense, when we fill that
• 27:40
  hurt, we just want to lash out and just Express that and get it
• 27:44
  out. And it ends up every single
• 27:46
  time. It makes the situation worse and
• 27:48
  so it goes back to that conversation of spiritual
• 27:50
  maturity of when we get to that place because it's going to
• 27:52
  happen again. We are going to experience hurt
• 27:55
  an offense again. As long as we're breathing, we
• 27:57
  have the potential to experience that but as long as we're
• 28:00
  breathing, we also have the potential to do it differently
• 28:04
  in such a way, that causes people to stop and go what's
• 28:07
  different about you. And why did you react that way?
• 28:09
  Rather than what, I expect you to react, you know what I mean?
• 28:12
  And so, which is the whole point.
• 28:14
  As Christ followers. And so I think when we get to
• 28:17
  that mindset, it really is a renewal of our mind when it
• 28:20
  comes to forgiveness. And and I will say with absolute
• 28:23
  certainty, my own experience. And I know that you can attest
• 28:26
  to the same thing Jamie that the Lord is ready and willing to
• 28:30
  meet you in these moments where you have been hurt.
• 28:33
  He feels that Jesus. Wept, he grieved when he saw his
• 28:37
  people in pain and when they were suffering and he wants to
• 28:41
  meet you in his word. And I will tell you, when we
• 28:43
  were walking through some These situations, like, I camped out
• 28:46
  in Matthew 5. Love your enemies, you know,
• 28:49
  that was one that I mean, I just there are so many underlines and
• 28:52
  notes in my Bible right now that I can go back to, and I can
• 28:56
  remember when I'm flipping through and I see that it
• 28:58
  reminds me of that season, and that mindset shift, and that
• 29:02
  heart work that the Lord was doing with me.
• 29:05
  And that's not to say that it doesn't hurt.
• 29:06
  You're allowed to acknowledge that it hurts.
• 29:08
  You're allowed to feel that it's it is not one of those things
• 29:12
  where I'm saying you are super spiritual when you get to The
• 29:14
  point where it doesn't hurt anymore because we're human and
• 29:18
  we were designed to feel and it is hurtful when things you when
• 29:22
  people do things to you. And so but if you're able to
• 29:25
  receive it in such a way and process it with the Lord and a
• 29:28
  healthy way and say, okay, Lord, this feels terrible and it may
• 29:32
  be tears. It may be screams, it may be,
• 29:36
  you know, lots of walks with between you and the Lord and you
• 29:39
  just venting out me. Look at the scripture, look at
• 29:40
  how David was just raw before the Lord and asking for.
• 29:44
  Destruction of his enemies in this frustrations.
• 29:46
  Even with the Lord, why does this keep happening Lord?
• 29:48
  Why have you abandoned me? Why?
• 29:50
  Why why all that the Lord wants you to wrestle those things out
• 29:54
  with him. But the point is with him, not
• 29:56
  with others. Don't go out and partner with
• 29:58
  the Enemy and do more damage because that's what the enemy
• 30:01
  wants. Like, you're talking about the
• 30:03
  battle in the heavenlies. He wants to wound you and turn
• 30:06
  you into a loose cannon that goes out and wreaks, havoc on
• 30:09
  the body of Christ and the name of Christ.
• 30:12
  And so if we're aware of that as we Walk through the process of
• 30:15
  forgiveness that's going to help stay our hand and stay our words
• 30:19
  before we can do more damage and cause us to look Inward and look
• 30:23
  upward with the Lord and walk through that process because I
• 30:26
  promise you, he will meet you in that.
• 30:28
  Yeah, so good. I mean, that's exactly what I
• 30:30
  did. I just turned into David and
• 30:33
  read all the Psalms, you know, and just poured, my heart out to
• 30:36
  him and Frank, you know, it really did, you know, it's like,
• 30:41
  Praise Him in the pain and it really did.
• 30:44
  Uplift me and I brought joy and it helped me get through those
• 30:50
  dark times and where I could start feeling again.
• 30:54
  So yeah it definitely does help and there's a reason why it's in
• 31:01
  the Bible. Hello act like we need to pay
• 31:04
  attention. I'm like wow this actually works
• 31:09
  so good. It's not an instruction manual
• 31:12
  on how to be super spiritual, you know, it's like It's there
• 31:15
  to help you walk through all of the humanness that we
• 31:18
  experience, you know, and to point us to him through every
• 31:21
  bit of it. Yeah, so good.
• 31:23
  Well, as we finished up, I like to ask the guests to leave a
• 31:27
  take away, so you just speak life to us as we conclude here.
• 31:32
  Mmm. Yeah, that I really appreciate
• 31:35
  you just allowing me the opportunity to share today.
• 31:37
  I think I would love to encourage by telling you a quick
• 31:41
  story and it's the story of a young college, girl.
• 31:44
  You had been in Ministry involvement, all of her life,
• 31:47
  she's been in the church, all of her life and she led worship and
• 31:51
  she volunteered with youth and kids.
• 31:54
  And I mean, her whole life was wrapped around the church.
• 31:56
  And one day, there was a situation that came about where
• 32:00
  a staff position, was offered to someone.
• 32:03
  And this girl, really felt it her duty to make sure that this
• 32:08
  person didn't receive that staff position.
• 32:10
  And so it was more or less a coup, you know, if You will
• 32:14
  where things were discussed and, and all behind the scenes and
• 32:18
  trying to disrupt that plan. And there was a lot of hurt for
• 32:24
  that person who was being welcomed into that position.
• 32:27
  Who'd been offered that position to the point where she ended up
• 32:29
  leaving the church because of what had been done to her.
• 32:33
  And that girl, who caused all the Havoc was me.
• 32:38
  I was Reckless. I was spiritually immature.
• 32:41
  I thought I was speaking on behalf of people who I had no
• 32:45
  business speaking on behalf of and so I tell that story out of
• 32:49
  humility because don't give up on people when they hurt you
• 32:54
  because you never know where the Lord's going to take them and
• 32:56
  how he's going to use them and how he's going to use that
• 32:59
  situation to grow that person and others.
• 33:03
  So it goes back to this idea of Grace and really walking with
• 33:07
  the Lord and forgiveness and being patient with one another
• 33:09
  because we really don't know where we are spiritually.
• 33:13
  We don't Know where the Lord is walking, you know, with that
• 33:16
  person or if the Lord is even there if they're walking with
• 33:18
  that person. And so I think it's just really
• 33:22
  important to remember that we all fail, but we can always be
• 33:26
  redeemed. Yeah, and so when we look to the
• 33:29
  Lord, it helps us to be able to walk through that, a little bit
• 33:35
  easier. I read a quote recently, and
• 33:36
  I'll close with this. It said, if being hurt by the
• 33:40
  church causes you to lose faith in God, then your faith was in,
• 33:43
  people not in God. Yeah, and I think that's a
• 33:47
  perfect way to close out this conversation.
• 33:49
  If we're looking to the Lord, we can walk through all the good
• 33:53
  and all the bad he's present with us in every step of the
• 33:56
  way. And he will grow us through
• 33:58
  every experience that we have. The point is to look to him and
• 34:02
  not to others. Yeah.
• 34:04
  Oh so good. I love it.
• 34:06
  Well, thank you summer for sharing your wisdom and
• 34:10
  encouragement on this topic. And I know it's can be a
• 34:14
  difficult one, and it's not all that easy to go through the
• 34:19
  healing Journey. But the more we can Shine the
• 34:23
  Light on this and bring some words of encouragement through
• 34:27
  our own story, I think that kid Point people.
• 34:30
  All the right direction to the Lord and really seek him and
• 34:36
  what he says on forgiveness to make their hearts whole again.
• 34:41
  So thank a member. Yeah, it's my pleasure.
• 34:44
  Thank you so much for having me today.
• 34:48
  Thank you so much for listening today.
• 34:51
  I trust that God has encouraged you through this message for
• 34:55
  more information on this ministry and to access free
• 34:59
  downloads. Please visit my website at Jamie
• 35:03
  Elizabeth.com and sign up. You can also find me on
• 35:08
  Instagram and Facebook at Jamie Elizabeth she speaks life,
• 35:15
  that's ja. Why mea Elizabeth, she speaks
• 35:21
  life. Until next time, my friends.
• 35:24
  I pray God reveals himself through your own life story.