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#Ask A Black Friend · We Talk Back

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Okay, so let's ask the black friend. Question comes from
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: one of our listeners UM on our Instagram page. It says,
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: Hey A J and Tam Bam, I do have a
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: question for ask a black friend. What is the etiquette
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: of a white person entering a black space. I'm a
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: white chick from Chicago living in New Orleans, and black
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: people here and make the city vibrant, colorful, and full
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: of magic. It's a magical place it is. I love
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: the second line parades that happen here, and often it's
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: predominantly black. Anyone can jump in at any time, and
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: I do, but I feel self conscious, like am I
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: invading this space which signifies so much more for black
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: culture than my own? Or if I'm in a bar
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: scene and it's clearly mostly black people, but I would
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: like to check it out. What's the best rapport? What
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: are things to think about slash consider when joining in
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: on the festivities if I should be joining them at all?
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: You ladies rock and you've brought me such helpful info
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: and great laughter as a single lady trying to make
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: it in this crazy, crazy world. And I did thank
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: you for her question, UM, and I didn't ask her
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: a question. Also, um, because my thing is black people
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: we are usually like pretty inviting, and it's a problem
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: that is one of our problems because we are so
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: inviting and inclusive, we want to make sure everybody feels welcome.
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: I think the problem she feels is more of an
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: insecurity on her end that no black person can assist with.
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: I can't make you feel any more comfortable than I'm
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: already making you feel. To be like, you here, you
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: already here. Now, you gotta read the room. In my
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: you read the room because we are environment but not always.
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: You know, there are terms where you might be the
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: odd man out and people looking at you like what
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: the fuck you know? So you just gotta read. Read
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: the room, read the environment, and you know you can
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: feel the energy if you're welcome or not. It's the
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: same thing with black people going into these are whites
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: only pies, you know, like, you gotta read the room.
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: You need to look. And we ain't about to stick
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: around and try to make y'all like us either. We're
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: gonna do it our face, write the funk up out
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: of there. But white people are punkerers, Okay. They just
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: start and they teach their children from young that y'all
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: running this ship. I can go any place y'all want
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: to go. And that's how didn't show up in the world. Right.
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: But black people, we know we ain't staying someplace we
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: didn't want it. If I walk into a restaurant and
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: I'll see no black fans, I'm like, should we should
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: we be eating here? Yeah? Read the room. That's my mess,
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: you know, tipping culy though we are inviting and we
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: are in. When we see white people dancing to black music,
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: it's entertaining for us. I ain't gonna lie. It's always
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: a good time to see, like, you know, white people
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: enjoying black shit. So I mean, just to enjoying yourself, right,
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: That's what I told usaid, be yourself, And I said,
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: have you actually had any issues in predominantly black spaces?
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: I said, we can't help you feel less self conscious.
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: You may need to explore why it is you're feeling
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: that way, um, as it's in an internal issue because
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: black people are oftentimes more than inviting. That's what I
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: said to her, and she was like, you know, truthfully, um,
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: I've been in a lot of black spaces and it
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: felt so welcomed and even enjoyed being the only white person.
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: But then a friend, then a white friend of mine,
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: said they went and go into a specific bar mostly
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: black folks hang there without being there with a black friend.
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: This friend self considers himself progressive, a progressive white guy
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: from the Bay Area. I thought it was weird he
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: said that, but when I started doubting, But then she
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: started doubting herself. Is what she's saying, um, and then
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: she just thinks us. So the parades and stuff like that,
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: that is a big cultural thing in New Orleans, and
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: I wish that other groups of black people in America
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: would have held onto their culture in the way that
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: people in New Orleans do. I have treat my lineage back.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: Charleston is a place where people have held on Yeah,
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: but I'm talking about the parades, like we do parades
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: and stuff, but like wearing the feathers and all indigenous things,
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: like a lot of that has been lost there, you
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. But we are essentially the same people,
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. So I understand like her
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: jumping in the parades and stuff like that, but if
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: they are allowing that down there like it, have fun,
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: do it yeah, but I agree with your friend in
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: a little way, like I'm just going in the black
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: places just thinking sweet, because it ain't always sweet, you know,
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: like so like it's it's black places, I won't go
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: without a big guy. No that no the place. So
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: let me tell you one thing I do know is
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: white people are safe in America. Safe, safer, They are
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: safer mm hmm. They're more more safe than a lot
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: of us. Yeah. So yeah, I mean it's just that's
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: an internal issue and I don't know how to really assist,
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: but I think we give some pretty good pointers on
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: you know, just be yourself, queen the room, read the room,
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: chill out. But yeah, that that thing, and sometimes take
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: your black friend with you. Get some black friends, or
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: get some black friends, how about that. Listen, we all
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: may have been one color at some point, right, but
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: for whatever reason, we're starting to uh uh incarnate back
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: hair different colors. Yeah, because you could have been a
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: white lady before. Yeah, I think so. Uh I think
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: I was a white man. Oh but just like the
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: Earth is coming back together, you know, there used to
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: be like one solid mask in his in his coming
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: back together, we're gonna be all one color eventually not
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: we probably won't see it in this time. You're saying that,
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: and that's what they're scared about them, that's what they're
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: scared about for real. But anyway, look, that's another show too.
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: Thank you for your question, girl, Yes and yes, what
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: a dumb bitch stories that? So listen, we're gonna talk
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: about Cuff of season next week because we're kind of
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: late anyway, because Cuff of season already started. But so
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: you mean to tell me all y'all coughed up in
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: successful good relationships. Me ain't got a dumb this story.
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: And I don't know how long, but I know y'all
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: out there still dumb bitching it. Um,