Latest / Your Hope-Filled Perspective with Dr. Michelle Bengtson podcast / How Disappointment Affects Your Mental Health, and How to Move Forward

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How Disappointment Affects Your Mental Health, and How to Move Forward · Your Hope-Filled Perspective with Dr. Michelle Bengtson podcast

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  Speaker 1: Life Audio.
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  Speaker 2: Have you ever found yourself asking, God, what happened? Not
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  Speaker 2: because you've stopped believing, not because you've lost your faith,
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  Speaker 2: but because life unfolded so differently than you expected that
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  Speaker 2: you're still trying to make sense of it. Perhaps you
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  Speaker 2: prayed faithfully for healing, but the diagnosis remained. Perhaps you
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  Speaker 2: believed a relationship would last to only to watch it
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  Speaker 2: fall apart. Perhaps you work diligently toward a goal, only
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  Speaker 2: to have the opportunity slip through your fingers. Maybe you
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  Speaker 2: carried a dream for years, something you genuinely believed God
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  Speaker 2: had placed on your heart, and yet that dream never materialized.
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  Speaker 2: One of the hardest realities of life is that sometimes
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  Speaker 2: our greatest pain comes not from what happened, But from
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  Speaker 2: what didn't happen, disappointment has a unique kind of grief
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  Speaker 2: attached to it. It's the grief of unmet expectations. It's
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  Speaker 2: the grief of unanswered questions. It's the grief of looking
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  Speaker 2: at your life and realizing it doesn't resemble the picture
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  Speaker 2: you once carried in your heart. What many people don't
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  Speaker 2: realize is that disappointment affects far more than our emotions.
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  Speaker 2: It affects our thinking. It affects our stress levels. It
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  Speaker 2: affects our motivation and our relationships. It affects our faith,
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  Speaker 2: and it even affects our brains. So in honor of
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  Speaker 2: the National Day of Encouragement, today we're talking about what
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  Speaker 2: happens when expectations are shattered, why disappointment can become so
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  Speaker 2: emotionally heavy, and how we can move forward without becoming
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  Speaker 2: stuck in discouragement or cynicism. If you've wrestled with a
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  Speaker 2: dream that didn't happen, a prayer that seemed unanswered, or
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  Speaker 2: a season that didn't unfold the way you hoped, this
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  Speaker 2: conversation is for you. Welcome to your Hope-Filled Perspective, where
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  Speaker 2: it's always our goal to restore hope, renew minds, and
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  Speaker 2: empower listeners and viewers to live in your God-given identity.
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  Speaker 2: We offer biblical encouragement, practical tools, and mental health insights
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  Speaker 2: to help you renew your mind and discover hope in
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  Speaker 2: every season. I'm your host, Dr. Michelle Bankson, board-certified clinical neuropsychologist, author,
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  Speaker 2: and companion on the journey of faith, mental, emotional, and
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  Speaker 2: spiritual wellness.
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  Speaker 3: And I'm your co-host, Jessica VanRoekel. We are so glad
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  Speaker 3: you've joined us today. Michelle, I think today's topic touches
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  Speaker 3: every single listener because disappointment is one of those universal
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  Speaker 3: human experiences. We may experience different disappointments, but every one
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  Speaker 3: of us knows what it feels like to hope for
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  Speaker 3: something and then watch that hope collide with reality.
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  Speaker 2: No, that's exactly right. I don't know anyone who has
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  Speaker 2: lived long enough to avoid disappointment. It's part of living
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  Speaker 2: in a broken world. And what I've noticed both professionally
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  Speaker 2: and personally is that disappointment often goes unrecognized. People come
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  Speaker 2: to me talking about anxiety, discouragement, sadness, irritability, emotional exhaustion,
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  Speaker 2: or even hopelessness. Yet when we begin exploring what's underneath
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  Speaker 2: those emotions, we often discover disappointment sitting quietly at the root.
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  Speaker 2: They're disappointed in how a relationship turned out. They're disappointed
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  Speaker 2: in their circumstances. They're disappointed in themselves. And sometimes they're
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  Speaker 2: even disappointed with God. Although they may not feel comfortable
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  Speaker 2: saying that out loud.
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  Speaker 3: I heard myself in everything that you just said. And
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  Speaker 3: I think many Christians especially struggle to admit disappointment because
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  Speaker 3: they fear it somehow reflects poorly on their faith. There's
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  Speaker 3: almost like this internal pressure that says, well, if I
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  Speaker 3: trusted God enough, I wouldn't feel disappointed.
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  Speaker 2: And yet we know that's simply not true. Disappointment isn't
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  Speaker 2: evidence of weak faith. It's evidence that you're human. And
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  Speaker 2: the Bible is filled with faithful people who experience disappointment.
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  Speaker 2: And what I appreciate is that Scripture doesn't hide their struggles.
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  Speaker 2: In fact, God preserved their stories precisely because... Well, frankly,
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  Speaker 2: he knew we'd need them. When we read about Sarah
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  Speaker 2: waiting decades for a child or Joseph spending years in
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  Speaker 2: prison after receiving God's promises or David hiding in caves
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  Speaker 2: after being anointed king or Martha and Mary grieving because
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  Speaker 2: Jesus didn't arrive when they thought he should, we're actually
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  Speaker 2: seeing real people wrestling with real disappointment. And God never
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  Speaker 2: condemned them for their pain. Instead, he met them in it.
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  Speaker 3: Oh, I'm so glad he kept those stories sacred for
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  Speaker 3: us today. Michelle, let's start with a question I think
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  Speaker 3: many listeners are asking. Why does disappointment hurt so much?
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  Speaker 3: Because frankly, on the surface, it sounds relatively minor compared
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  Speaker 3: to other forms of suffering.
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  Speaker 2: That's a great question. I think one reason disappointment hurts
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  Speaker 2: so deeply is because It almost always involves loss of
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  Speaker 2: some kind. The challenge is that we're often grieving something intangible.
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  Speaker 2: When someone dies, we recognize the loss immediately. When a
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  Speaker 2: relationship ends, we recognize the loss. When a job disappears,
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  Speaker 2: we recognize that loss. But disappointment often involves grieving something.
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  Speaker 2: an anticipated future. We're grieving what we thought would happen.
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  Speaker 2: We're grieving what we expected. We're grieving the story we imagined.
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  Speaker 2: And because the future never actually existed in tangible form,
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  Speaker 2: people often don't realize they're grieving. Yet grief is exactly
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  Speaker 2: what's taking place.
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  Speaker 3: Such an important distinction you pointed out. I know that
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  Speaker 3: I've experienced seasons where I wasn't grieving a person or
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  Speaker 3: an event. I was actually grieving an expectation. I was
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  Speaker 3: grieving the life I thought I'd have. And that grief
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  Speaker 3: felt confusing because there was nothing visible to point to.
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  Speaker 2: Oh, exactly. And that's one reason disappointment can linger for years.
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  Speaker 2: People don't, by and large, give themselves permission to grieve it.
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  Speaker 2: They tell themselves, I shouldn't feel this way. It wasn't
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  Speaker 2: that big of a deal. Look at all the blessings
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  Speaker 2: I do have. Or other people have it worse. But
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  Speaker 2: minimizing pain doesn't heal pain. It simply buries it. And
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  Speaker 2: buried disappointment has a way of resurfacing later. Sometimes it resurfaces,
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  Speaker 2: like we're talking about today, as discouragement. And sometimes as resentment.
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  Speaker 2: Sometimes it resurfaces as anxiety or emotional numbness. But it
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  Speaker 2: rarely disappears on its own. So let's talk about what
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  Speaker 2: happens in the brain when expectations are shattered, because I
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  Speaker 2: think understanding the neuroscience helps us stop judging ourselves for
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  Speaker 2: our reactions. One of the primary functions of the brain
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  Speaker 2: is prediction. Our brains are constantly trying to anticipate what
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  Speaker 2: will come next. So every experience, every memory, every pattern
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  Speaker 2: we've observed helps the brain create expectations about the future.
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  Speaker 2: This process is actually designed to help us survive. The
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  Speaker 2: brain loves predictability because predictability can create a sense of safety.
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  Speaker 2: And when things happen as expected, the brain feels safe
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  Speaker 2: and stable. But when reality dramatically differs from what we expected,
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  Speaker 2: the brain experiences disruption. Researchers sometimes refer to this as
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  Speaker 2: prediction error. The brain essentially says, wait a minute, that
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  Speaker 2: wasn't supposed to happen. And the larger the gap between
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  Speaker 2: expectation and reality, the more emotionally significant that disruption becomes.
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  Speaker 3: Which really explains then why disappointment can feel so destabilizing.
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  Speaker 4: Exactly.
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  Speaker 2: Yes. Many people assume they're overreacting when they're disappointed. But neurologically,
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  Speaker 2: disappointment requires the brain to recognize and reorganize its understanding
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  Speaker 2: of reality. So think about someone who expected to remain
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  Speaker 2: married for life. or someone who expected their child to
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  Speaker 2: follow the Lord, or someone who expected retirement to look
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  Speaker 2: a certain way. Their brains weren't simply anticipating those outcomes.
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  Speaker 2: They were actively building future plans around those outcomes. And
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  Speaker 2: when those expectations collapse, the brain has to revise the
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  Speaker 2: entire picture. And that's mentally exhausting. It's emotionally exhausting. And
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  Speaker 2: often then it activates the brain's stress response system. One
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  Speaker 2: of the reasons disappointment affects mental health so significantly is
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  Speaker 2: because the brain often interprets major disappointment as a form
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  Speaker 2: of threat. Now, we're not talking about physical danger. We're
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  Speaker 2: talking about emotional threat. The brain's alarm system doesn't always
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  Speaker 2: distinguish between physical and emotional pain as clearly as we
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  Speaker 2: might think. Research has shown that emotional pain activates many
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  Speaker 2: of the same neural pathways involved in physical pain. And
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  Speaker 2: that's one reason why disappointment can literally hurt. Many people
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  Speaker 2: say things like, my heart aches or I feel crushed
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  Speaker 2: or I feel broken. And those descriptions aren't merely poetic.
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  Speaker 2: They're describing genuine emotional distress that the brain is processing
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  Speaker 2: very seriously. When disappointment happens, isn't significant enough, stress hormones increase,
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  Speaker 2: sleep is disrupted, concentration becomes more difficult, motivation decreases, and
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  Speaker 2: people may become more emotionally reactive. All of those responses
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  Speaker 2: are normal because they're signs that the brain is trying
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  Speaker 2: to adjust to a reality it wasn't expecting.
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  Speaker 3: Michelle, why do some disappointments seem to fade relatively quickly
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  Speaker 3: while others stay with us for years?
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  Speaker 2: Because some disappointments touch our identity. That's where disappointment becomes
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  Speaker 2: particularly painful. If I expect a package to arrive and
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  Speaker 2: it's delayed, I'm disappointed. I'm used to my Amazon two-day
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  Speaker 2: prime delivery, sometimes overnight, right? So when it's not there...
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  Speaker 2: I'm disappointed because I was expecting it. But if I
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  Speaker 2: expect my marriage to thrive, my ministry to flourish, my
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  Speaker 2: child to recover, or my calling to unfold in a
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  Speaker 2: certain way, those disappointments strike much deeper because they're connected
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  Speaker 2: to my sense of purpose, meaning, identity, and belonging. Hmm.
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  Speaker 2: The more personally significant the expectation, the more profound the
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  Speaker 2: disappointment tends to be. And if we're not careful, we
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  Speaker 2: begin drawing conclusions about ourselves based on those disappointments. So
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  Speaker 2: we start asking questions like, what did I do wrong?
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  Speaker 2: What's wrong with me? Why did God allow this? And
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  Speaker 2: even more significant, can I trust him?
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  Speaker 3: I think I've said every single one of those questions before.
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  Speaker 3: Me too. And what I'm hearing from you, though, is
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  Speaker 3: that those questions aren't merely emotional questions. Those are identity questions.
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  Speaker 3: They're spiritual questions, and they require careful attention.
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  Speaker 2: One thing I love about scripture, and I suspect this
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  Speaker 2: is true of you too, Jessica, is that it refuses
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  Speaker 2: to sanitize human emotion. You know, we often celebrate the
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  Speaker 2: victories of biblical figures while forgetting the disappointments. they also endured, right?
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  Speaker 2: Consider Joseph. We know the ending of the story. We
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  Speaker 2: know he becomes second in command over Egypt. We know
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  Speaker 2: God redeems his suffering. Yay. But Joseph didn't know any
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  Speaker 2: of that while sitting in prison. Imagine the disappointment. He
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  Speaker 2: had received dreams from God, yet everything happening around him
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  Speaker 2: seemed to contradict those dreams.
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  Speaker 3: So true.
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  Speaker 2: I suspect many listeners can relate to that feeling. I
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  Speaker 2: know I can. They probably sense God leading them. They
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  Speaker 2: believe God was working. And yet their circumstances seem to
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  Speaker 2: tell a completely different story. And sometimes that story seems
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  Speaker 2: to last a really long time.
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  Speaker 3: I agree with you 100%. We do have the benefit
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  Speaker 3: of knowing the end of the story. And people like Joseph,
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  Speaker 3: I sometimes want to know the end of my story.
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  Speaker 2: Me too.
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  Speaker 3: God is like, let's just consider David today.
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  Speaker 2: You know, we.
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  Speaker 3: Read about David quickly.
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  Speaker 1: We go through that.
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  Speaker 3: We can read his whole life in two or three chapters,
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  Speaker 3: 30 minutes. We've read through his life of decades and
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  Speaker 3: yet years passed between his anointing and his coronation. Years
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  Speaker 3: of hiding, living in caves, smelly with other outlaws and outcasts.
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  Speaker 3: He had years of uncertainty, years of wondering, did that
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  Speaker 3: really happen? Is this going to come true? Where are you, God?
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  Speaker 3: That type of a thing, I imagine, must have gone
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  Speaker 3: through his mind.
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  Speaker 2: And I think when we're in a place of disappointment,
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  Speaker 2: I'm going through my own sense of disappointment right now.
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  Speaker 2: And when we're there, We want that season of disappointment
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  Speaker 2: to end in the same two or three chapters in
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  Speaker 2: the same 30 minutes. Yeah. And perhaps one of the
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  Speaker 2: most powerful examples is found in Martha and Mary. And
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  Speaker 2: I can relate to this. They sent word to Jesus
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  Speaker 2: that Lazarus was sick and Lazarus was a friend of Jesus.
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  Speaker 2: But from the perspective of Martha and Mary, Jesus delayed.
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  Speaker 2: Imagine what they must have been thinking. Surely he would come.
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  Speaker 2: Surely he would heal. Surely he wouldn't let his friend
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  Speaker 2: and our brother Lazarus die. And yet Lazarus died. Their
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  Speaker 2: expectations were shattered. And when Jesus finally arrived, Martha's first
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  Speaker 2: words reveal her disappointment. Lord, if you had been there,
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  Speaker 2: my brother would not have died. That's disappointment. That's grief.
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  Speaker 2: That's confusion. And I'm grateful that Jesus didn't rebuke her.
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  Speaker 2: He met her in her sorrow. He listened. He comforted.
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  Speaker 2: And then he revealed a larger story that she couldn't
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  Speaker 2: yet see. And for me, that's an important reminder. And
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  Speaker 2: I hope it is for our listeners and viewers as well.
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  Speaker 2: Sometimes we're living in the middle of a story whose
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  Speaker 2: ending we can't yet see.
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  Speaker 3: I think if we were to ask everyone out there
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  Speaker 3: to raise their hands, if they're living in part of
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  Speaker 3: a story that has disappointment in it, I'm going to
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  Speaker 3: assume that everybody's out there nodding their heads and saying, yeah,
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  Speaker 3: that's me. Friends, after a brief break, we're going to
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  Speaker 3: talk about what happens when disappointments remain unresolved, why it
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  Speaker 3: often turns into discouragement and cynicism, and and how disappointment
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  Speaker 3: can quietly shape our view of ourselves, others, and even God.
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  Speaker 2: And we're also going to discuss dreams that never happened,
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  Speaker 2: prayers that seem unanswered, and why unresolved disappointment may be
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  Speaker 2: affecting your mental health more than you realize. Stay with us.
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  Speaker 2: This is going to be an important segment. We'll be
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  Speaker 2: right back after this brief word from our sponsor. Welcome
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: back to Your Hope-Filled Perspective. In honor of the National
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  Speaker 2: Day of Encouragement, we've been talking about how disappointment affects
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  Speaker 2: our mental health, our faith, and even our brains. Before
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  Speaker 2: the break, we discussed how unresolved disappointment can slowly transform
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  Speaker 2: into discouragement, cynicism, emotional exhaustion, and even a distorted view
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  Speaker 2: of God. We also talked about dreams that didn't happen
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  Speaker 2: in prayers that seem unanswered. Jessica, I think one of
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  Speaker 2: the reasons this conversation resonates so deeply is because, like
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  Speaker 2: you mentioned before the break, I think every listener and
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  Speaker 2: viewer can identify at least one disappointment that still feels tender.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: For some, it's recent and fresh. And for others, it
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  Speaker 2: may be decades old. Yet regardless of how long ago
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  Speaker 2: it occurred, disappointment has a way of convincing us that
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  Speaker 2: our future will look exactly like our past. And that's
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  Speaker 2: one of the greatest dangers of disappointment. It doesn't just
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  Speaker 2: affect how we view yesterday. It affects how we imagine tomorrow.
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  Speaker 3: I think that's exactly right. I'm sitting here thinking, yeah. Yeah,
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  Speaker 3: it's impacting how I think about what comes next. Because
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  Speaker 3: one of the things disappointment tends to steal first is anticipation.
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  Speaker 3: When we've been hurt repeatedly, when we've prayed prayers that
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  Speaker 3: seem unanswered, or when we've watched important dreams fall apart,
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  Speaker 3: we often stop expecting good things. We may continue functioning.
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  Speaker 3: We may continue serving. We may continue going through the
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  Speaker 3: motions of faith. But inwardly, We've stopped anticipating God's goodness.
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  Speaker 3: We begin approaching life with caution rather than expectancy. Instead
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  Speaker 3: of wondering what God might do, we find ourselves bracing
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  Speaker 3: for what might go wrong. And over time, that posture
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  Speaker 3: becomes emotionally exhausting because we were never created to live
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  Speaker 3: in a constant state of self-protection. Hmm.
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  Speaker 2: That's such an important observation because from a neuroscience perspective,
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  Speaker 2: the brain learns from experience. So if disappointment occurs repeatedly,
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  Speaker 2: the brain begins creating what we might call protective predictions.
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  Speaker 2: Rather than anticipating positive outcomes, it starts preparing for negative ones.
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  Speaker 2: And this isn't because the brain is defective. It's because
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  Speaker 2: the brain is trying to keep us safe. The challenge
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  Speaker 2: is that what protects us from disappointment can also prevent
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  Speaker 2: us from embracing hope. We become reluctant to trust, reluctant
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  Speaker 2: to dream, reluctant to risk, and sometimes even reluctant to
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  Speaker 2: pray boldly because we're trying to avoid experiencing that same
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  Speaker 2: pain again. One of the things that I often explain
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  Speaker 2: to patients is that the brain's primary goal is not happiness.
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  Speaker 2: Its primary goal is survival, safety, predictability, certainty. Yet faith
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  Speaker 2: often requires us to move forward without certainty. Faith requires
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  Speaker 2: us to trust God's character even when outcomes remain uncertain. unknown.
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  Speaker 2: That's where disappointment creates such tension. Our brains crave certainty,
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  Speaker 2: but our faith requires trust. Learning to navigate that tension,
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  Speaker 2: an important part of both emotional and spiritual maturity. Michelle.
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  Speaker 3: If someone listening today realizes they're carrying unresolved disappointment, where
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  Speaker 3: does healing actually begin?
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  Speaker 2: I believe healing begins with honesty. And that may sound simplistic,
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  Speaker 2: and I don't mean it to because it's remarkably important.
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  Speaker 2: Many believers have become skilled at minimizing disappointment. They tell
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  Speaker 2: themselves they should just be over it by now. They
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  Speaker 2: tell themselves they should be stronger. They tell themselves they
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  Speaker 2: should simply move on. When my father died and I
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  Speaker 2: was a young girl, he was a strong believer. He
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  Speaker 2: was a strong evangelist. Everybody loved him. And I remember
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  Speaker 2: being at the funeral and thinking to myself, not, wow,
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  Speaker 2: I'm so sad or I'm so disappointed. I no longer
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  Speaker 2: have my daddy. I remember thinking I have to put
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  Speaker 2: a smile on my face because we all know he's
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  Speaker 2: in heaven. So even back then, I felt like I
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  Speaker 2: had to deny as a believer my disappointment. But healing
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  Speaker 2: doesn't occur through denial. Healing occurs through acknowledgement. We cannot
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  Speaker 2: surrender something to God that we're unwilling to admit exists.
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  Speaker 2: And one of the most powerful truths I landed on
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  Speaker 2: years ago is that God never asks us to pretend.
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  Speaker 2: He never asks us to call pain something other than pain.
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  Speaker 2: Throughout scripture, as you and I were talking about, Jessica,
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  Speaker 2: before the break, we see individuals bringing disappointment honestly before God.
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  Speaker 2: You mentioned David. David did not hide his discouragement. Jeremiah
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  Speaker 2: did not hide his confusion. Habakkuk didn't hide his questions.
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  Speaker 2: Even Jesus expressed anguish in Gethsemane. Honest emotion is not
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  Speaker 2: the enemy of faith. In many ways, honest emotion becomes
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  Speaker 2: the doorway through which deeper faith develops. But I think
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  Speaker 2: some of our listeners and viewers have spent years trying
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  Speaker 2: to outrun their disappointment. They've stayed busy. They've immersed themselves
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  Speaker 2: in work. They've focused on caring for everyone else. But
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  Speaker 2: perhaps what they haven't done is grieved. And grief is
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  Speaker 2: often the first step towards healing. But I started by
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  Speaker 2: answering your question by saying we have to be honest.
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  Speaker 2: And that's what's required to grieve. Whether the disappointment involves
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  Speaker 2: a broken relationship, a lost opportunity, a health challenge, an
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  Speaker 2: unanswered prayer or dream that never materialized, we have to
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  Speaker 2: acknowledge the loss before we can move on from it.
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  Speaker 3: And I think that's especially important because many disappointments involve
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  Speaker 3: invisible losses. No one sees them. No one attends a
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  Speaker 3: funeral or memorial for them. Yet there's still losses. A
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  Speaker 3: woman who hoped for children and never became a mother
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  Speaker 3: experiences loss. A man whose career ended unexpectedly experiences loss.
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  Speaker 3: Someone who dreamed of a thriving marriage now finds themselves
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  Speaker 3: alone is experiencing loss. These losses may not be visible
• 23:17
  Speaker 3: to others, but they're very real to the person carrying them.
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: Oh, exactly. And one of the reasons invisible losses can
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: linger so long is because they're often unacknowledged. When grief
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: isn't expressed, it tends to settle deeper. It influences our emotions,
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: our relationships, and our expectations.
• 23:38
  Speaker 3: Which is why giving language to disappointment can be so healing.
• 23:42
  Speaker 3: Sometimes this emotional healing begins with a simple prayer. Lord,
• 23:47
  Speaker 3: this hurt more than I've admitted. I'm disappointed. I'm confused.
• 23:52
  Speaker 3: I'm grieving what I thought would be because that kind
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: of honesty creates space for God to meet us.
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: Another critical aspect of healing involves renewing our minds. Disappointment
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: doesn't merely affect our emotions. It also affects our thought patterns.
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: And after significant disappointment, people often begin adopting beliefs that
• 24:15
  Speaker 2: feel true but aren't actually true. They may conclude that
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: God has forgotten them. They may believe that nothing good
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: will ever happen again. They might assume that every future
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: opportunity will end the same way the previous opportunities ended.
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: And these conclusions feel convincing because they're rooted in deep pain.
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: Yet pain is not always an accurate interpreter of reality.
• 24:41
  Speaker 3: So what does neuroscience teach us in this regard?
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: This is where neuroscience and scripture beautifully intersect. Neuroscience teaches
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: us that the brain remains capable of change throughout life.
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: That's what we've referred to as neuroplasticity. The brain is
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: constantly forming, strengthening, and modifying neural pathways based on repeated
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: thoughts and experiences. Scripture communicates a remarkably similar principle long
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: before neuroscience ever came to be. But when scripture talks
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: about renewing the mind, Romans 12, 2 reminds us to
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: not be conformed to the patterns of the world, but
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: to be transformed through the renewing of our minds. In
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: other words, transformation involves changing how we think. But that
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: doesn't mean anything. ignoring disappointment. It doesn't mean pretending everything
• 25:33
  Speaker 2: is wonderful. It means refusing to allow disappointment to become
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: the lens through which we interpret everything else. And it
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: means learning to recognize when disappointment is speaking louder than truth.
• 25:47
  Speaker 3: And that can be a process. Sometimes we think renewing
• 25:52
  Speaker 3: the mind means repeating a Bible verse a few times
• 25:56
  Speaker 3: and immediately feeling better. But in reality, it's more often
• 26:00
  Speaker 3: a daily decision to challenge thoughts that aren't aligned with
• 26:04
  Speaker 3: God's truth.
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: Exactly. Healing rarely happens instantaneously. More often it happens gradually.
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  Speaker 2: Every time we choose truth over fear, every time we
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: choose trust over cynicism, every time we choose hope over despair,
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: we're strengthening new pathways. We're teaching our minds to focus
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: on God's faithfulness rather than solely on our disappointments.
• 26:29
  Speaker 3: That's good food for thought right there. Let's talk specifically
• 26:33
  Speaker 3: about hope because I think many listeners are wondering whether
• 26:37
  Speaker 3: hope is even possible after repeated disappointment.
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: And I understand that question. In fact, I think many
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: people secretly wonder if hope is worth the risk because
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: they've become disappointed so many times that hope feels dangerous.
• 26:54
  Speaker 3: Mm-hmm.
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: Yet biblical hope is very different from wishful thinking. Hope
• 26:59
  Speaker 2: is not confidence that everything will unfold exactly as we want.
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: Hope is confidence that God remains faithful regardless of how
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: circumstances unfold. And you and I have talked about that
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: many times on this podcast, and you frequently talk about
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: God's faithfulness. But one of the reasons disappointment becomes so
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: devastating is because we often place our hope in specific outcomes.
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: We hope a prayer will be answered in a particular way.
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: And when that outcome doesn't occur, hope feels shattered. But
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: biblical hope was never intended to rest on outcomes. It
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: was intended to rest on God's character. That's why scripture
• 27:39
  Speaker 2: repeatedly points us back to God and who he is
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: rather than merely what God does. Because his character remains constant.
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: His goodness remains constant. His presence remains constant. His love
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: remains constant. And because those things remain unchanged, hope remains
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: possible even when circumstances disappoint us.
• 28:03
  Speaker 3: I think that this is such an important distinction because
• 28:07
  Speaker 3: many of us assume hope means expecting a particular result.
• 28:13
  Speaker 3: But biblical hope is deeper than that. It's trusting God,
• 28:16
  Speaker 3: even when we don't know what the result will be.
• 28:19
  Speaker 4: Exactly.
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: Hope isn't certainty about the future. It's confidence in the
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: one who holds the future. As we begin wrapping up
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: today's conversation, I want to speak directly to the listener
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: or viewer who feels disappointed. Maybe you're disappointed by circumstances.
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: Maybe you're disappointed by people. Maybe you're disappointed by yourself.
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: Or perhaps you're even wrestling with disappointment toward God. And
• 28:48
  Speaker 2: disappointment may be part of your story, but it's not
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: the end of your story. Yeah.
• 28:54
  Speaker 3: And one of the beautiful truths woven throughout scripture is
• 28:57
  Speaker 3: that God consistently works in situations that appear hopeless. He
• 29:02
  Speaker 3: works through delays. He works through detours. He works through disappointments,
• 29:08
  Speaker 3: believe it or not. And he works through circumstances that
• 29:12
  Speaker 3: make no sense from a human perspective. Again and again,
• 29:16
  Speaker 3: over and over, we see him bringing redemption out of
• 29:20
  Speaker 3: situations that initially looked like failure. Joseph thought prison was
• 29:25
  Speaker 3: the end of the story. It wasn't. David thought the
• 29:29
  Speaker 3: cave might be the end of the story. It wasn't.
• 29:33
  Speaker 3: Mary and Martha thought death was the end of the story.
• 29:36
  Speaker 3: It was not. And whatever disappointment your facing today may
• 29:41
  Speaker 3: not be the end of your story either.
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: You may not understand what God is doing. You may
• 29:48
  Speaker 2: not see the purpose yet. You may not have all
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: the answers to all your questions, but the absence of
• 29:53
  Speaker 2: understanding does not mean the absence of God's activity. He
• 29:59
  Speaker 2: is often working in ways we can't yet see.
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  Speaker 3: Friend, if today's conversation resonated with you, we encourage you
• 30:07
  Speaker 3: to spend some time with the Lord this week and
• 30:09
  Speaker 3: honestly bring your disappointments to Him. Don't minimize them. Don't
• 30:13
  Speaker 3: hide them. Don't assume they don't matter. If they matter
• 30:16
  Speaker 3: to you, they matter to Him.
• 30:19
  Speaker 2: And remember this, disappointment doesn't have to become despair. God
• 30:24
  Speaker 2: is able to meet you in your disappointment, heal what
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: has been wounded, renew what has become weary, and restore
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: hope where hope feels lost. Friends, thank you for spending
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: time with us today on your hope-filled perspective. If this
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: episode encouraged you, please subscribe, leave a review, and consider
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: sharing it with someone who may need hope in the
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: middle of their disappointment. Until next time, we want you
• 30:49
  Speaker 2: to remember that God has not forgotten you, your story
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: is not over. And as long as God is on
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: his throne, hope prevails. Friends, I look forward to being
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: with you again next week for another episode of your
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: hope-filled perspective. But until then, it's my prayer for you
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: that you have a hope-filled week.
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: Everyone experiences pain at times. It can manifest physically, emotionally, relationally,
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: or spiritually. It can follow tragic accidents, great loss, sudden betrayal,
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: or unexpected and unwanted change. Often, pain is temporary. But
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: what do you do when it isn't? When pain won't
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: go away, healing does not come, and grief and hurt
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: settle in to stay. Drawing on her experience of chronic
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: pain in her years as a board-certified clinical neuropsychologist, Dr.
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: Michelle Bankson provides a countercultural perspective on pain. Offering hope
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: without any false promises or empty platitudes, Dr. Bankson unwraps
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: the complex emotional aspects of dealing with pain. She gives
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: you permission to question God, helps you identify the lies
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: you've believed about your pain, and reorients your perspective based
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: on the truth of God's Word. Each chapter ends with
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: a recommended playlist, reflection questions, and a prayer. Your pain
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: may not change, but your experience with it can.
• 32:23
  Speaker 4: Dr.
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: Sondra Dalton-Smith, physician, best-selling author, and a host of the
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: I Choose My Best Life podcast, had this to say
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: about the hem of his garment.
• 32:36
  Speaker 2: Dr.
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: Michelle Bankson is honest and transparent, and she gives the
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: reader permission to ask hard questions and practical guidance on
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: how to seek God during times when you feel the
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: most wounded. A beautiful gift for every person living with pain.
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: Holly Gerth, best-selling author of What Your Mind Needs for
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: Anxious Moments, says, pain is inevitable, but enduring it alone
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: is optional. Dr. Michelle Bankston is a voice of hope
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: who will speak into your struggles, a helping hand who
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: will point you to Jesus, and a wise guide who
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: will lead you through what you're facing so you can
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: embrace more of what our good God has for you.
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: Pick up a copy of The Hem of His Garment
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: for you and a friend wherever books are sold. Do
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: you appreciate the biblically-based, hope-filled perspective offered each week by Dr.
• 33:35
  Speaker 4: Bankson? Why don't you join the conversation? Take a moment
• 33:39
  Speaker 4: and leave us a review. It's easy. Just scroll down
• 33:42
  Speaker 4: on whatever app you're listening on, click on review, and
• 33:45
  Speaker 4: tell us who you are, what you love about the program,
• 33:47
  Speaker 4: and let us get to know you a little bit too.
• 33:49
  Speaker 4: And while you're at it, why not hit subscribe so
• 33:52
  Speaker 4: you'll be the first to know each time a new
• 33:54
  Speaker 4: episode is aired.
• 33:57
  Speaker 2: I'd like to take just a second to thank the
• 34:00
  Speaker 2: team at Life Audio for their partnership with us on
• 34:03
  Speaker 2: this podcast. If you go to lifeaudio.com, you'll find dozens
• 34:07
  Speaker 2: of other faith-centered podcasts in their network. They've got shows
• 34:10
  Speaker 2: about prayer, Bible study, parenting, and more.