Latest / Forged In The Dark / The Stories You Tell Yourself
Transcript
- Forged In The Dark: Think back to when you were a child. Think about how you used to play with your shadow. The campfire, the flashlight under the covers, casting the dinosaur or the wolf or the bird or the heart to the wall. The shadow wasn't scary. The shadow was your co-creator, your collaborator. You worked with the shadow. But at some point, the story about the shadow changed. Welcome to Forged in the Dark. I'm your host, Jamie. Let's dig in. So go ahead and and think back. Think back to that pillow fort, that tent, those those times where where life was simpler. You were a child. And think about the shadow you were casting at the wall. And then think about how you currently think of the shadow. We hear this in the personal growth work, right? Like your shadow work, you have to make friends with your shadow, you have to meet your shadow. And all of that is true. When when you meet with your shadow, when you connect with your shadow, when you stop telling your shadow that it is bad or that it is wrong, or that it is it. is causing the problems when you own every part of yourself everything really does start to open up but today is not so much about the shadow it is about the story about the shadow because at some point someone told you a story and that story stuck And not only did that story stick, but it created this whole narrative. So not only now are you afraid of your shadow, you're afraid of the dark. You're afraid of everything that goes under the that goes bump in the night. You're you're afraid that the boogeyman is going to come out from under the bed. And you spend your entire life. Being afraid of your shadow, being afraid of the dark, being afraid of what goes bump in the night and why? Simply because the story about the shadow changed. Think about it. Think about one of the simplest childhood stories that there is out there. Let let let's I mean you choose. We are going to paint the big bad wolf in the light of the big bad wolf. For just a moment. Let's do it. I I don't care if you think of ⁓ little red riding hood and how the wolf like dressed up. What do you think of the wolf right now? In your head, in your words, what do you think of the wolf coming after Little Red Riding Hood? Let's think of the three little pigs. That that wolf is there to huff and puff and blow the house down, right? Think about it. You know these stories. These are just stories about a wolf. Do you know that wolves that wolves run in packs? Wol wolves are loyal to their families. Wolves use the shadows in a very strategic way. They they they use the shadow to provide cover and they survey and they survey and they survey. They circle. They watch, they assess, they learn, they retreat when the risk is too high. But when they do go in, when they do get the win, what we're we're calling it the win instead of like the kill. Like when they do succeed, they have the prey, the first thing they do is they take the prey back to the pack, back to the family. Wolves and wolves use the shadow, wolves use the dark, wolves are strategic, wolves are loyal. But somewhere in your mind, in your brain, in your head, in the childhood stories you heard, you determined that the wol bad. So now we have a bad shadow and a bad wolf. But there was nothing ever wrong with the shadow, and there was nothing ever wrong with the wolf. It was the story that you believed. And that is that is what needs to be addressed today. The story that you are telling yourself. The stories that you are consuming and believing to be true, and then therefore. These stories are are these stories are dictating your choices. These stories are dictating your life and their stories. And I know we've all been there. I recently the way that I termed this was ⁓ I I ate crow, but it was an internal job. I internally ate crow. I had a bad experience a couple years ago. And I let this bad experience dictate the way I thought and the way I felt about the entirety of everything that was involved in this experience. Every person, the place, all of it. Ooh, I had labeled and judged as a bad and negative experience. And then Hmm, hmm, recently I went back and tried it again. And ⁓ my gosh, I had a complete I had it wrong. I had it wrong. My first experience was a bad experience. But the entire thing is not bad. So I got to sit. With the knowledge, with the information that I had told myself multiple stories about this situation, and it turns out they're not true. So what stories are you telling yourself? What stories are stuck on repeat in your head? I'm too tired. The clients keep canceling. I mean, what else? What else? ⁓ if I had enough money, I'd do this. If I had enough confidence, I'd do that. It all of these are stories. All of these are stories. I was in the shower the other day and I was thinking about something that I'm that I'm building and and the thought literally came into my mind, ⁓ but that's going to be hard. And I was like, ⁓ my god. Stop! Like, I'm in the shower and I'm clapping my hands, and and I'm kind of like making a big deal out of no, this isn't going to be hard. Why on earth did my brain just take me to this task is hard? Because that's the story I've told myself the longest. Think of the shadow. What story do you tell yourself about the shadow? Think about a wolf. Why on earth do you go to the big bad wolf that's trying to harm little Red Riding Hood and the three pigs? Why? Because somewhere in early childhood you developed that story. You heard that story and it stuck. And your job today is to Start paying attention to the words you're saying to yourself. Listen to the words that are coming out of your mouth. Sometimes I feel like a crazy person. In a normal conversation with someone, something will come out of my mouth and I will immediately stop and say, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's not that I don't like the way I said that. That didn't sound good. Hold on, let me reframe that. You get to catch these stories in real time and assign them a different meaning. And that is the work here today. And it does take a different level of self-awareness. So I challenge you today to increase your awareness. Start catching the stories you're telling yourself. And don't be mean to yourself. Don't beat yourself up. I mean, if you need to be harsh with yourself, put your foot down, draw that line in the sand, say no more. This story is old and outdated and has kept me stuck long enough. Put your foot down, say no more, be hard with yourself, but don't call yourself names because that would that that that won't get you anywhere and that's not the point. The point is If you want a different outcome, if you want to believe in yourself, to trust yourself, to build the confidence, you must have the infrastructure to support that. You there goes the yard service. I I I hope that I hope the audio will take out all of the noise, all of the background noise here. The story that I will tell myself. Is that the editing software is gonna take out all the background noise here and and we are not gonna be disturbed by by the lawnmower. The story that you tell yourself is the one you believe the most, is the one that you need to catch. Today, your job is to increase your awareness, start catching the stories, and identify what stories are actually going to help you get to where you're going, and what stories are either keeping you where you are or sending you way far backwards. Okay, that's what I have for you today. Until next time.