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[WW] Defined: Not By Our Failures · The Wesley Word

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Wesley Ware.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome everybody.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_01: This is your first time here.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_01: My name is Steve Simino, I'm the campus minister, and it's good to see you back.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_01: So you went to show last night, whatever that was, but we're back here today.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_01: And it's gonna be a good night.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_01: We're wrapping up our three-week series called Define.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_01: And if you missed the last couple weeks, the first week we defined us.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_01: We wanted to let you know what it was that Clemson Wesley is all about.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_01: And we talked about how we seek to be a welcoming place, a place of extreme hospitality.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_01: We're all welcome.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_01: No questions asked, you're welcome, who you are as you are.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_01: We're gonna treat you like family.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_01: We want you to grow in your faith.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_01: And hopefully, you've been doing some small groups, whether through us uh at Clemson Wesley or finding another small group on campus to help you grow in your faith.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_01: And then we also want to challenge you and encourage you to love God and neighbor in concrete ways.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_01: Because it's one thing just to say who we are, but it's another thing to actually live that out.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_01: And so I hope that you are finding ways to do that.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_01: I know our leadership team is working on different things.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_01: Our local missions team has some projects in the works, and you've got small groups, all different things you need are sort of there.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_01: And that's that was us.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_01: And then last week we briefly looked at um how do you want to be defined?
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_01: How will you define yourself?
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_01: And we talked about how you have an opportunity here in college to sort of rebrand yourself, to make yourself into what you like to be, um, but also to be reminded that you're a beloved child of God, that you have been formed in God's image.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_01: God has breathed life into each and every one of the us and has called you good.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_01: And so we want you to have that framework as well.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_01: And then about 45, 50 of us went and did some speed dating for friends out in the back um back um Breezeway.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_01: And that was pretty cool last week.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_01: So hopefully you got to meet some people.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_01: Um things that we learned, a great way to introduce yourself if you want to meet some new people is to say, hi, my name is, and you say yours, and then ask them what theirs is.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_01: And then from there you can start a conversation.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_01: It's just crazy things we're working for years.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: So I encourage you to do that.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_01: Um I say that half jokingly, but sometimes like Matt, halfway through the year, people are like, Man, I wish I had new more people at Wesley.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_01: Well, get to know more people at Wesley.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_01: Introduce yourself, sit at a new table, um, you know, meet somebody new.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_01: Tonight, we're wrapping up, sorry, getting back on topic, and we're this final topic of what does it mean to be defined, or how do we define us, you, and we're gonna get to the sort of the point in just a second.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_01: I was looking at different examples throughout scripture, right?
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_01: And I came across David.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_01: David was a good guy, but David messed up, right?
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_01: He did some stuff he shouldn't have been doing.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_01: Um, some assaults, bad, bad stuff, right?
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_01: Abraham laughed in the face of God, lied about who his wife was, says it was, you know, his sister.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_01: Samson was supposed to be this great um Nazarene who who you know never cut his hair, was super strong, been up giving away the secrets into his own um self and shaved his head and lost all of his power.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_01: Peter, right?
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_01: Peter was supposed to be like, he was, I mean, his name means the rock, right?
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_01: He he is the rock.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_01: And yet when push came to shove, on the night in which Jesus gave himself up for us, um, Peter betrayed Jesus three times.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_01: Or three times he denied knowing Jesus, right?
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_01: There's the woman at the well who was caught in adultery.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_01: There's all these different examples of scripture of, you know, like, oh, this seems kind of negative, Steve.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_01: I was looking at examples where people messed up, and they are throughout Scripture, right?
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_01: You can't even get through the first few chapters of Genesis without people messing up and doing things that God has not called them to do.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_01: I looked at Hebrews 12 as I was getting ready for sermon this morning.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_01: In Hebrews 11, they talk about all these great pillars of the faith.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_01: Abraham had faith and he was able to do this.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_01: Rahab had this, right?
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_01: All these different people that had the faith and what they were able to do.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_01: But if you look at all their backstories, there's something that has always happened that they just messed up.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_01: They messed up as they were doing things.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_01: And Peter, in particular, I kind of focus on him, but three times, right?
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_01: Push come to sub, straight up denying Jesus, that he knew Jesus three times.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_01: So we're getting at this morning is what are this evening, sorry, or or what will you let define you, right?
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_01: What will you let define you?
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_01: A little carryover from last week, but a little bit different, right?
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_01: And what I'm getting at there, right, is maybe you're we're three weeks into school, somewhere in there, um, and maybe things have have happened that you're not proud of.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe there's things that you've done that you're like, hmm, I wish I had that one back, or maybe things that you said that you wish you'd done that.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe you wish just you could do it over again, have a better first impression somewhere or somehow, right?
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_01: And so I want to take us a little bit journey and kind of look at like truths and lies, so to speak.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_01: I want to call it two truths and a lie, but only got one truth and one lie, right?
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_01: So back and forth.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_01: So we'll call it one truth, one lie, right?
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_01: The lie that we often tell ourselves, or that sometimes we hear from other people, is that we are our failures.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_01: We are what we messed up, and that could be how we define ourselves, right?
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_01: But the scripture reminds us over and over again as we look through the text is that we're not defined by our failures, but we're defined by how we respond to our failures.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_01: Right, that's the key and it's important to remember.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_01: You're gonna mess up, you're gonna screw up, I'm gonna mess up, right?
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_01: But how we respond to that, how we get how we move past our failures matters in what we indeed do.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_01: We look at the story of Peter, right?
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_01: He was he denied Jesus three times, and then you know, Jesus gets crucified, resurrected, they're out there fishing, Jesus walks up.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_01: Like if anybody's got beef, Jesus can because right, he was crucified, his boy you know betrayed him, that kind of stuff.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_01: But yet he calls Peter in, and three times he says, Peter, do you love me?
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, Lord, I love you.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_01: Do you love me?
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, Lord, I love you.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_01: Then feed my sheep, follow me, right?
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_01: Jesus sort of makes amends for the three times that Peter's denied him, he gives him three opportunities to make it right.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_01: Three opportunities to say, Yes, Lord, I love you.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I denied you that one time.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, those three times, but I love you three times or three times more, and I'm gonna feed your sheep, and I'm gonna follow you, I'm gonna do what it is that you can do.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_01: You're not defined by you can be defined by your failures, but scripture would encourage you not to be defined by your failures, but how you would respond to your failures.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_01: I think of the story of Samson, I love that story, and I may have shared before, right?
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_01: But Samson was supposed to live this clean life, he didn't exactly live the clean life, right?
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_01: He's supposed to stay away from all the drinking, all the women, all that kind of stuff, and he did anything but that.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_01: Um but you know, he eventually got his head shaved, he gave up his secret to Delilah, and um the Philistines came and captured him, and he was in this big rut.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, he really, really messed up, right?
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_01: But they say as soon as the Philistines had captured him, right?
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_01: The story usually ends there.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_01: The Philistines captured Sam.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_01: Read Judges 16 if you want to fill up the whole story, right?
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_01: They say that the hair on his head began to grow just a little bit.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_01: The hair on his head began to grow just a little bit.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_01: And I remind as we think about this idea of are we defined by our failures, even Samson, who was a super strong guy that was supposed to live for the Lord, do everything right, but didn't, and he ended up shaving his head, took off his superpower, even then, even in the midst of his worst failure, a little bit of peach fuzz came up.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_01: A little bit of grace sprouted up to remind him that his story was not over.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_01: And just like Peter had a redemption story later on, Samson uh begins to pray as he's going before the Philistines, and he says, You know, Lord, just get just give me one time.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_01: One time be with me, let me make this right, right?
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_01: And this little violent story, he like knocked down the pillars, right, and he collapsed on top of the Philistines and a little gore there, right?
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_01: But what I'm getting at there is that there was a comeback story there.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_01: That Samson's story wasn't over when he made his failure, when he did what he did.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_01: He had the opportunity to respond.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes we mess up, right?
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_01: But sometimes, and this is the other lie that we sometimes tell ourselves, um sometimes we say that we're not we are what we we're not just our failure, but that we are our current situation.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_01: But sometimes things just happen to us and we end up somewhere that we didn't even mean to be there, that we ended up there by no means of ourselves, on our own like volition.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_01: It just happened.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_01: But the same story remains, is remains.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_01: Will we be defined by our situation, by our current circumstance, or will we be defined by the way that we respond and how we take on that circumstance and that that thing that's happening, right?
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_01: There's a football game last night, right?
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_01: Anybody watch that?
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, okay.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_01: There's a defensive slug fest, it came down to one play.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_01: Ugh.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_01: I'm good.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_01: 15 years ago, I'd have to take a week off, right?
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_01: But I'm not there, okay?
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_01: I've grown up a little bit, just a little bit, right?
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_01: But you know, the the Clemson Tigers could be defined.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_01: They could say, you know what, we lost a game, we're just gonna be the most defeated team in the entire, like, you know, on the schedule.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_01: Like we're gonna go Ofer, right?
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_01: You know what they're doing at practice this week?
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_01: Well, they're probably icing now because Georgia hit pretty hard, right?
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_01: But they're getting ready.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_01: They're getting after it.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_01: They're not gonna be defined by game one.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_01: The goal is to go on and win the next 12 games and be 12 and 1 going into the playoff.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_01: They're not gonna be defined by the one loss, by the defeat, because yeah, I mean, okay, yeah, the O-line definitely didn't do too good, and DJ looks shell-shocked.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_01: We get that right.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_01: But Georgia just beat us, right?
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_01: Put that language in there.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_01: Georgia just beat us, right?
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_01: There's nothing we can do about it, they just beat us, right?
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_01: Come say can suck, they can get down, or they can rise back up and see what happens the rest of the season, right?
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_01: Things are gonna happen to you this semester or in this season of life that sometimes you plan as sometimes are your own fault, but sometimes they're not.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_01: You're gonna have friends that you're gonna love and you're gonna love dearly, and all of a sudden they're not gonna have any time for you.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_01: And they're gonna find out, you're gonna find out that they don't wanna be your friend anymore.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_01: You're the best friend in the world, but they don't want to be your friend.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_01: And that's a season of friendships that happen, right?
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_01: And it's okay to grieve that, to sulk that, to be sad.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_01: I got in trouble on Wednesday night kind of joking, right?
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_01: But it is okay to be sad and to live through that.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_01: But there's also something to be said about rebounding from that and say you're gonna be defined by that or you're gonna find a way to grow and to move into this, right?
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_01: You're gonna be dumped at some point in time.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_01: Unless you're like the most incredible person, you find this one person and you end up getting married, good for you.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_01: I was dumped like 85,000 times.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_01: Not really, maybe like 10, I don't know.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_01: But you're gonna get dumped, right?
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_01: You're gonna get dumped.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_01: Middle school is hard, y'all, right?
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_01: But at least I got in the game, right?
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_01: All right, so you're gonna get dumped, but right, how are you gonna pick yourself up for that?
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_01: Are you gonna live into that situation or are you gonna find a way to like not be defined by that, to redefine yourself in and through that?
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_01: You're gonna fail tests, you're gonna have things that happen, right?
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_01: I failed a test one time, I was a I was a uh math person, and I was a freshman taking a senior class.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't realize what I signed up for, right?
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_01: It's the only time I failed a test.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_01: I made like a 65 on the test, right?
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_01: I could have just failed the class, I could have dropped the class.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_01: Instead, I did something I never did before.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_01: Open a textbook, right?
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_01: And I read page one through the very end and ended up getting a B in the class because I failed the first test, right?
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_01: But I responded and I was like, I'm not gonna let this this first test fail me.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not gonna let I'm not gonna let this be who I am.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_01: I'm better than this.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_01: This is not who I am, and I'm going to respond in there.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_01: So I could tell you story after story after story, just like the letter Hebrews says, I could go on and on about all these things, but time would fail me.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_01: There is story after story after story here in the scriptures of people that don't get it right.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_01: The people that we look up to the most have messed up, have made mistakes.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_01: But all of them, all of them said they're not gonna allow what their mistakes to define them.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_01: They live into God's grace, they realize that they can be a forgiven people, that they forgive themselves and they find ways to respond to their failures, respond to their current situation, so that they are defined by how they allow God's grace to work within them and to make them anew and not the worst moments of their lives.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_01: That's their story, and that's part of our story that's in here.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_01: And so the question I'd ask you sort of as a sort of wrap up tonight is what's your story?
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_01: What's your story gonna be?
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_01: Having maybe failed at something, maybe a friendship or a relationship, or maybe in school, or maybe you've done something, you're sitting there, like, I hope you've done save what I did because I'm really feeling nervous as you know about it.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know about what you're doing, but you know what's going on in your life.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_01: You know the situation that you're in or that you've been in, or maybe you're not in any situation, but you'll find yourself there a few months from now.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_01: What will your story be?
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_01: Will you sulk?
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_01: Will you just live in it?
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_01: Will you allow the lies to come and conquer you that says you are your failure, you are your current situation?
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_01: Or will you feel a little bit of hair growing on your head?
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_01: Will you feel the hair in your arm stand up a little bit?
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_01: Will you allow others to speak truth into you and say that God's grace abounds, that you're not your situation, you're not the failure that you are, but you are indeed, like we talked about last week.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_01: You are a beloved child of God, and nothing and no one can take that away from you.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_01: If you allow God's grace to work in you, that you can be forgiven of those failures, those mistakes, and then you can respond and rise above.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_01: Now there's going to be consequences, right?
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, you mess up enough friendships, people are gonna be like, all right, watch out for that person, right?
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_01: But you still have the opportunity from that to respond and to come back.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_01: And I want us to be a people that respond, a people that are not stuck in our failures, not stuck in our situations, but a people that are about a comeback story.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_01: People that live into what we see in Philippians 3, right?
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_01: Um Paul says he doesn't consider himself consider himself to have taken hold of the prize yet.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_01: But one thing he does is he forgets what lies behind, right?
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_01: And he strains forward to what is ahead.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_01: Use a dabbo material, not look at dabo line, not looking at the rearview mirror, but this windshield mentality, right?
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_01: What's ahead of us, leaving behind what's there.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_01: Remembering in Hebrews 12, as I mentioned earlier, Hebrews 11 talks about all these great things that people did, and we also know their struggles that they do.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_01: And he says, now that since we're surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, we have all these people cheering us on, we've seen the ways that people have messed up and they've rebounded and they've made it right and they've responded and they weren't their current situation, they weren't their failures.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_01: Now, knowing all that thing that it can happen, that God's grace is available to us, let's run this race with perseverance.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_01: Run the race that is marked out before us as we lay aside everything.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_01: That's my word for you tonight.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_01: One, you're gonna mess up, you're gonna make bad decisions.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_01: I do it almost on a weekly basis.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_01: You're gonna burn a bridge or two, you're gonna do something that you wish you hadn't done, you're gonna say something you wish you hadn't said, you're gonna treat someone a way that you wish you hadn't treated them.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_01: The question is, how will you respond?
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_01: Will you be a person that allows God to fill you with grace?
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_01: Will you be a person that says, My story is not over yet?
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_01: My story is not complete yet, and I can still live into that calling that I have to be a beloved child of God and to treat and to love God with all that I have and all that I am, and my neighbors are just the same.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_01: What will your story be this year?
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_01: How will you be defined?
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_01: Let us pray.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_01: For this chance to gather together and worship, to sing our praises to you.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_01: We are thankful, oh God, that you do not call us to be a perfect people, that we don't have to have everything together when we come and to worship you.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_01: Well, some of us are wrestling with guilt and shame of things that we've done in the past.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_01: Some of us are sitting here like, I didn't do anything, God, but I'm stuck in a hard place.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_01: God, maybe we'll be reminded that we don't have to be stuck there.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_01: You call us to respond with strength and to courage, and that we don't have to respond on our own, oh God, but that you put people around us to walk with us.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_01: And above that, and through that, you also promise to be with us even through the mistakes, through the failures, through the setbacks.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_01: You constantly call us and claim us as your beloved.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_01: And so we pray and I pray tonight, oh God, that you would pour out your Holy Spirit upon each and every person in this room, that you would grant us the courage and the strength to get up.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_01: You would grant us the courage and the strength to find out, to extend grace to one another, and to extend grace to ourselves as we seek to be your people.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_01: We love you, we praise you.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_01: In Christ's name we pray.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: Amen.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_00: The Wesley Word is a production of the Clemson Wesley Foundation.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_00: For more information about Clemson Wesley, check out our website or follow us on Facebook and Instagram.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time, get out there and love your neighbor.