Latest / Walking Manifestator Podcast- Aligning Mindset with Spirituality / 120: The Hidden Reason You Keep Feeling Overwhelmed
Transcript
- Alexa: What is the meaning that you're giving to the experiences that you're going through? In today's conversation, I want to give you three mindset shifts that are really going to help you in changing out of a victim mentality, which in turn is going to help you with everything you have to deal with in your day-to-day. And what does that mean? Well, if you have kids and you have to worry about Taking care of them, taking care of the family, taking care of yourself. This can be a very powerful way to reframe things. Not only that, but maybe you're an entrepreneur or you're thinking about becoming one, or you have a business that you're thinking about starting, or maybe you're in a situation where you have your job already, but you get frustrated and you get overwhelmed with your boss and the way that they say things to you. These mindset shifts. are really going to help you understand why it's so important for you to incorporate them. And we're gonna get a little bit into the science behind these things as well and also some scripture that it's going to help you really tie everything in for you to understand how all of this is super impactful for your life and how it's actually either going to help you in the journey of manifesting your dream life, calling in your blessing, being able to hold that blessing and sabotaging it. And being in a situation where maybe you get the blessing, but things fall out because you are not ready to actually hold that opportunity. Now, the first thing I want to get into is something that really resonates with me, which is what is missing is always going to be available, but so is what you have. And I think this is something that once you understand how impactful it is. The way that you actually see things, the way that you communicate about things, the way of what you're focusing on things, that actually allows you to see that what's wrong is always going to be there, but so is what is right. So is all the opportunities you have. Once we can understand that, this is going to understand, this is going to help us understand that we're in a position where we get to focus our RAS. Now, why is this important? Well, If you didn't know your cortisol levels spike the moment that you start focusing on fear, the moment that you start focusing on lack, the moment that you focus on animosity, or the moment that you're stressed out. All of these things are constantly affecting your biology. Now, if you've seen any of my previous episodes, I have talked a lot about the fact that your thoughts create your reality. Okay. And this is something that Goes even further into your personality, creates your personal reality. And why is that so important? Well, because when you're always focusing on everything that's missing, you get into a state of lack. You get into a state of fear. You get into a state of survival of the fittest. And in this state, it is hard for you to actually bless yourself with what you're praying for. Let me put it this way. If you go and you hang out with somebody, and this person is always talking about everything that's going on in their life that is negative. They are always talking badly about other people. They're always complaining about their job, their business, their kids, whatever it is. When you talk to these people, a lot of us know the term, they're energy vampires. They're the type of person that you talk to and you leave and you're like, my goodness, I feel so drained. Meanwhile, there's other people that you walk away from that conversation feeling inspired, feeling excited, feeling like, wow, I can take on the world. That is the difference between a person that is always focusing on what's missing and a person that's always focusing on what they have. Now, when you're in a competition mindset, when you're in a mindset of there isn't enough resources. If somebody else has that resource, that means that I'm going to have less of that resource. What you're doing is that you're focusing on everything that's going wrong, which in turn is spiking your cortisol levels. And that's actually the thing that makes us actually get into like states of inflammation, like internal inflammation. And I'm telling you from experience, the times where I've gained the most weight in my life, it's been because I'm in survival. It's been because I am worried about something and I start stress eating. I start getting into this mindset of not knowing how to cope with what I'm facing and trying to find a way out. And I want you to ask yourself, like, what is your way out? Because a lot of the times it can be, you know, sex, it could be drinking, it could be going out and partying, it can be, you know, watching things that you shouldn't be watching. Like it can be so many different things, but again, you're not. Fixing the problem because once you're done, once you're done drinking or smoking or going out and blowing a bunch of money, you're back and you're facing the real problem. Now, number two, this is where we need to reframe the way we see things and understand that everything that we're going through is simply making us stronger. And I've used this analogy that I really, really resonate with. I thought about it a few years ago and it's really helped me in understanding how God works. Which is God is not going to give you more than you can handle. Well, what does that mean? Well, if you go to the gym and you have a trainer and your trainer tells you, Hey, go ahead and start with five pounds. And you've never been to the gym, right? You're doing some dumbbells and your trainer says, Hey, do five pounds. Well, if you're around other people that are doing more, chances are you're gonna feel a little uncomfortable. Maybe some of you won't care. But the majority of us would. We would feel kind of like, man, like I'm out of shape. Like I need to really like work on myself. Meanwhile, someone can have the exact same experience and decide, I'm never gonna go to the gym again because that was too embarrassing. I am never gonna do that again. I feel like everybody was judging me, even if nobody really cared. So when you continue to go, you're going to build the muscle to be able to actually hold the weight that the trainer is giving you. So If we use that exact analogy and we apply it to your life, God is not going to give you more weights than you can handle because you can actually end up hurting yourself. If your trainer tells you, hey, pick up a hundred pounds and you've never picked up a hundred pounds, it's going to hurt you. This is the exact same thing that you want to think about when a difficult experience appears in your life, in your life. It could be you broke up with somebody, it can be Something didn't happen the way you want it. It could be the fact that you lost money. It can be the fact that you didn't get the job. It can be the fact that you have to settle for a job that you really don't want right now. It can be the fact that you feel frustrated with your kids or whoever it is. When you change your programming to say, This is so hard, this is so uncomfortable, and you change it into, you know what? This is making me stronger. And I'll share a practical story that I'm going through right now. You guys are the first to find out. I am in the process of moving to another house. And it's very emotional. It's very emotional because I'm going through a lot of things that I have to worry about. I have my business to attend. On top of that, I'm doing my 75 day hard challenge, which requires for me to work out two times a day. And on top of that, I'm still making sure that I need to register my kids. that's a whole fiasco because now I'm trying to compare schools. I'm trying to see if it's going to be in their best interest to enroll them into the school that's in their district, which is like close by the property that I'm going to move into, or if I should actually put them in a private school. And there's a bunch of decisions, a bunch of decisions, because also putting them in a private school is going to require more money, right? More investment. And then on top of that, I had to put the money that I had to put down for the property that I'm purchasing. and then on top of that, I had to go ahead and worry about also the property. again, a lot of things. Okay. The property that I currently have is also a property that I'm gonna turn into an Airbnb. I was battling between this as well. The property that I am right now in the process of getting, it's also up in the air because I'm like, Well, should I go down the route of purchasing? Should I go down the route of renting it in the long in the short term? Because I'm actually going to be moving pretty soon. not In just all Paso, but another area. So all of these things, right, are going through my head. And yesterday I just had one of those moments where I wanted to cry. Like I was feeling really frustrated. I was feeling very overwhelmed. And as I'm telling you the story, this is why it's so funny. Like, as humans, we make things so much bigger than they really are sometimes. Because I know as I'm sharing the story with you right now, it doesn't seem like the worst case. You know, like it doesn't seem like the worst scenario. It seems pretty like it's feasible. Yeah, it's annoying, but it's feasible, Alexa. But as I was going through it, I was feeling very overwhelmed. And maybe you have situations in your life where something is happening. And it's not necessarily that it's like super bad, but we in our mind make it super bad. In our mind, we say, Why do I have to go through this? Why do I have to be a single mom? Why do have to be struggling with all of this? Why is nobody helping me? Why are all these bills on top of me? Why and you just get into this mindset. And then I took a moment to say, you know what, God? Thank you. Thank you for the fact that I have literally eight deals under contract right now that are going to make me more than somebody makes in a year. And some people, me, myself included, would pray of these like blessings. I remember when I was making $16,000 a year and I thought that, you know, making $30,000 was like the biggest blessing. Why is this important? Because before some of you guys are rolling your eyes and thinking like, she's just trying to flex like the number she has. No, dude, I I am not. I'm saying this because when you reframe the way you perceive things, your whole life changes. And if I'm sharing these stories, it's because you can do it too. I truly believe that God allows us to go through every experience for us to actually be a gift in this world. If I went through trauma, if I went through abuse, if I went through scarcity, if I went through being, you know, homeless at a certain time in our life when I was growing up with my mom, those things are essential for me to be able to talk to you about experience, like the things that have been overcomed, so that you can get inspired to say, if she can do it, I can do it too. That's the second thing. Your experiences are actually making you stronger. The third thing, before I give you your action steps for today, is I want you to change your perspective from a competitive mindset to a creation mindset. And if you have not read the book The Science of Getting Rich by Wallace Waddles, I recommend you check it out. And also Think and Grow Rich, it talks about basically the same thing. I just like how Wallace Waddles like simplifies it instead of like this long book that basically is saying the same thing over and over, which I like both books, but again, though the science of getting rich is a little bit easier. And basically what he says is that people that are trying to make money from a state of competition actually fear for the money that they might lose for the other people that are getting into the industry. So for example, if I have a real estate team and I find out that a new agent just joined the industry, I get intimidated, right? Because now at that point, I'm coming from a competitive mindset. I'm thinking about If they're in real estate, that means that less clients are gonna come and work with me versus a creation mindset. When I see a new agent join the team or like join in general real estate, I get excited because I say, wow, that's amazing. Because as long as they're leading with value and this agent is, you know, taking care of their clients, it's going to create a good rep for the industry. And this is where I personally don't believe that there's a one size fits all. Like the reason I go to my hairdresser is because I like her. I like the way that she communicates with me. I like the way that she takes care of my hair. I like the fact that it's been like the healthiest that it's been in a long time. When I go to my lady that does my facials, I go with her because I like her. I like the way that she communicates with me. I like the way she takes care of me. Why is this relevant? Well, because when you get out of a mindset of competition, thinking that there's only a limited amount, and you change into there's an abundance. Of opportunities. And I'm not going to be for everybody. I'm not going to be the ideal real estate agent for everybody. But guess what? I am going to be the perfect realtor for the people that are going to align with my values, with my communication skills, with my experience. That is the difference between you being in a competition, in a competition mindset versus a creation mindset. In a creation mindset, there's more than enough for everybody to eat from. And that actually reminds me of a verse in I forget what scripture it is, but basically I'll summarize it, which is where the apostles are with Jesus and Jesus is like giving a sermon and everybody's like kind of worried because there's no more fish. And they're like, hey, like there's no more fish. And Jesus is like, Okay, well, bring me some baskets and you know, let's see what we can do. So they bring baskets, and these baskets are empty. And whoever had like bread and some other item of food, they bring it up so that they can share it with everybody. But it's like a multitude of people. So it's like me coming, you know, coming to you guys with a sandwich and be yeah, this is gonna be enough to feed like 200 people. So the apostles are doubting. They're kind of like, my God, there's not enough. There's not enough. But then Jesus doing his Jesus thing basically says, you know what? There's always more than enough. There's always more than enough. And again, I'm paraphrasing here. Okay. But basically, he turns those empty baskets into an abundance of food. And there's now a bunch of food in the baskets. There's like fish and bread. And everybody's just so excited because there's some people that have been traveling from very long distances and they haven't ate and they're with kids and they're all like super excited. This is the difference between you always focusing on what you don't have and focusing on what you do have. And I'm telling you from experience, like once you change that mindset, once you change that there isn't enough, there will always be more than enough. Now, here are your three action steps. The first one is start focusing on gratitude. There was a girl on TikTok the other day. She was crying because she was watching some creator that was basically trying to stock up her fridge. The creator had an empty fridge and she was like, Come with me to go restock my fridge. And she goes and she's like buying a bunch of like groceries. The girl's like super excited, right, about filling up her groceries with her man. And the creator that was, you know, making a reaction video to this other creator, she starts crying and she's like, I just wish I knew what it's like to be able to fill my fridge without having to worry about looking at the items and seeing how much money. everything is going to cost and how much money I'm gonna have to spend and make sure that I have enough, or worried about going up to the register and having to leave things and, you know, say, what can I do without? What do I need to really take? And I'm telling you, girl, when I watched this video, it was like an emotional string from me, like was played because I know that feeling. Like I know that feeling. I remember when I first had Alexander and even way back, like when I was little and I mean at eight years old, I was taking care of my my my brother out at a point in my life and You know, things were were challenging to say the least. And the most recent one that I can like really vividly tell you about though is when I had my first son and I was at s Sprouts and I took him down with me. I was on food stamps at that point. It was like the Wick program, I'm sure it's still around. And I could only purchase stuff from like the Wick store, at least from what I knew, 'cause I was like totally also like I just went to the place where they told me I had to go and I didn't ask questions. So when I did want to buy him something organic because the Wix store didn't have anything organic. I don't know how it is now, but back then they did not. I really, really, really wanted to buy healthy food for my kid because I knew, although I wasn't like very smart of all the things that were happening that I now I understand, like all the, you know, ingredients that they're putting into these foods that are actually like really bad for us. But back then I just was like, organic is better, like more nutrition for my kid. I wanna give him the best. So I remember we went into the store and I had maybe about a hundred dollars left in my bank account. And that was still like I didn't have like a paycheck for like another two weeks. And even then, like I still had other bills to pay. So I was really worried about not having enough money. And I remember like all I ended up grabbing that day, because I was even like super like Again, it was one of those things where like my kid was trying to do something else. I'm like stressed out as a mom. I'm over here getting mad at him. He's little. I'm just frustrated. I ended up buying him one of those like teether things that they like that they're like kinda like crackers. I don't know if you guys know what I'm talking about, but they're like a little cookie. It's like a w wa waffle, waffle. It's not a waffle. Wafer. There you go. That's the word. and they're like soft. And I bought an organic one. They're probably like maybe like eight dollars. And That right there, like having to worry about like, okay, I can't buy more because then I'm gonna be off with like the things that I still need to pay. When I saw that creator, I felt for her because I was like, I know the feeling, girl. But what I actually like really thought was important to talk about is the fact that She's still blessed. Like she's still alive. She can still see. She looked beautiful. She was in a car. Some people don't even have a car. She could see. Some people can't see. She could move. Some people can't move. She couldn't talk. Some people can't talk. Those are the micro things that you can start focusing on when you feel like in your life you don't have enough. When you start doing that, I promise you, everything in your life really starts changing. And this leads me to point number two. Because when we sh we start focusing on everything that we're lacking and we focus on gratitude, this allows us to attract more possibilities, more opportunities, more blessings into our life. Think about it. If your kid, one of your kids is acting up and you know, you buy them, you sacrifice yourself to buy them a banana, and then you give them that banana and one of your kids is like, I don't want a banana. This is disgusting. I didn't want a banana. I wanted a watermelon. And your other kid is like, my God, mommy, thank you so much. I appreciate the banana. It's delicious. Thank you. Who are you gonna buy another thing for? I don't know about you, but I'm sure as hell not buying my other kid that just told me that that banana was disgusting, something else. That is us with God sometimes. We forget that the like coding that goes into the universe that God has created because he's so smart, he knows everything, this energy knows everything to automate his like. The life that he's created for us, he created the universe. And just like the universe has the law of gravity, and we all know that if we throw ourselves from a high building, we're gonna fall and hurt ourselves. It's the same exact thing that he's encoded when it comes to the energy you're putting out. So the energy you're putting out is the energy you're gonna get back. So when you're focusing on what you don't have, you get more of that. So this is really where the third step comes in. I want you to just. Get crystal clear on what are all the opportunities that you can really start focusing on that are going to give you more of what you're trying to experience. Is it a better job? If it is a better job, okay, what can you do today to get you closer to that ideal job that you want? Maybe it's looking at your resume. Jordan Peterson was talking about that the other day. Like some people don't even want to apply to another job because they're just so afraid of being in a situation where they have to look at their job. that at their job description that they've had for the past couple of years and they're kind of embarrassed. So they're like, no, I don't, I don't want to even look at it. Some people have stopped working for a while. Maybe they left the, you know, the work field and they had a kid and maybe now they feel really insecure about the fact that they haven't worked in a while. Or maybe they're just like, they feel like they don't have the skills and expertise that's needed. Whatever it is, get crystal clear on it. And then create an action step. Just one. Don't overwhelm it. Don't overwhelm yourself. Don't feel overwhelmed by it because I know how it feels. Just get one action step that can help you get closer to what it is that you're trying to do that is going to get you the outcome you want. So in this example, you want a better job, but they have like credentials that are a little bit more than what you currently have. Work on those small credentials. Maybe it's reading for an extra 15 minutes a day on the subject, or maybe it's losing weight. I literally yesterday I wanted wings so bad, guys. Like I really wanted wings. But I was like, you what? No, I committed to this. I'm going to finish. I'm going to finish. I am literally maybe like two weeks away from like my ending of my 75 day hard. And I'm like, no, like I have to keep going. I will commit to this. But it didn't start that way. Like I started with the micro. I decided to start being more disciplined again with my eating habits. I started, you know, going to the gym a little bit more. structured. I was always going to the gym, but I I felt really overwhelmed by it. And little by little, okay, I started eating healthier. I'm cutting out some of the foods that I shouldn't be eating late at night. I'm making sure that I don't drink and I don't smoke. So that was already something that helps because those people, you guys that are smoking, I know what that feels like back when I used to smoke. You guys get the munchies and then you eat and then all of your stuff just kind of goes out the window. that's not good for you, or also when you drink, you're hungover, and then now you eat a bunch of food, now that's also like killing your progress. So eliminating those small little things that can make a big difference. And right now I'm down 15 pounds last I weighed myself because I try not to weigh myself every day. And it's been something that just proves to me that the more that I commit, the easier that it gets. And that's the new identity that you get to create. I was telling somebody today this this thing which we were talking about like Sometimes this person struggles with knowing who she is. And I was telling her, what if it's not about, you know, asking God, like, who are you? What if it's actually asking God, like, help me gain clarity on who I want to become? Because who we've been isn't necessarily who we want to be. And sometimes we forget that we get to create a new identity, that we get to choose the things that we like from ourselves and remove the things that we don't and choose the things that we like from others and apply them into our life. Like this is the beauty of our life. You get to create it the way that you want. So with that being said, I hope these steps have been helpful for you. We are continuing to invite people into our school community. We have over I think we're at this point we're like at over 200 members. So thank you for all of you guys that have been joining the community. If nobody has told you this, remember that you are loved, that you are worthy, and that you absolutely can manifest anything you want. I'll talk to you on the next one.