Latest / The Rochelle Christiane Podcast / 156. Surrender Like the Feather: Conversation with G Peoples

Transcript

156. Surrender Like the Feather: Conversation with G Peoples · The Rochelle Christiane Podcast

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the emotional mastery podcast.
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: I am your host, rochelle.
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: This podcast started as a space to really just share my journey, to share the experiences and the things that I was going through as I learned to self regulate, as I learned to manage my emotions, and it has transformed into so much more.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: This space is really just everything that I trial and error.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: It's amazing guests coming to you talking about their journey, their experiences with emotions, and really just take what resonates and leave what doesn't.
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: This journey can feel really isolating at times.
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: It is beautiful, it is painful, it is joyful, it is love, it is all of the things and we are all of the things all at once and so just have grace with yourself, have compassion with yourself through this, and I am so grateful that you are listening to this episode, wherever you are listening.
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: Thank you for allowing me into your day.
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: Welcome back to another week, another episode on the podcast, this episode they're all so special, but this episode is extremely special to me.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: I have Greg peoples, g peoples on and we talk about so much centered around really manifestation, meditation, breathwork, surrender, human design, astrology, of course, all the things and I met Greg, I think, like two years ago, which is wild because it feels like we've known each other for a lifetime.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: It's just one of those people that as soon as you meet them, it's like you recognize their soul from a past life and we immediately became close and it's just been so beautiful to witness his journey and his evolution and I've always really admired his ability to manifest.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: It's like I watch the process and I watch how it happens and unfolds and the intention, and it's just so beautiful to witness that in someone that inspires you and expands you in so many ways, and so I'm so grateful to have had this conversation.
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: We recorded this back in January sorry, january 23.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: So so much has changed for both of us, I know, since this episode was recorded.
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: I am now basically almost a year sober.
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: I know Greg has moved.
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: At the end of this episode he talks about manifesting a bigger place in LA, so I know he's definitely achieved that.
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: He's moved, he's just so many things have shifted but the things that we talked about, the topics that we talked about in this conversation, are just, are still so relevant and I think we've both grown in areas that we've discussed, but again, like, absolutely still relevant.
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: This week has been really interesting for me and you know Venus is in retrograde.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: Venus is the planet of values, beauty, morals, art, love, romance, money, all the things right and it is in Leo retrograding.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: And if you have a Leo rising, like I do, it is happening in your first house and so it's just touching on a lot, it's shaking up a lot and, of course, wherever Leo is in your charge, whether that second house, 10th house, eighth house, whatever it's going to be impacting that area of your life.
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: And I've noticed so much things that are coming up and I witnessed so I typically love and money are always related, right, and I notice my triggers.
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: I struggle a lot sometimes in relationships, in having feelings for people, in dating and all the things.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: I have sat in my fifth house so, of course, it always wants to restrict and make things like so serious and I'm like no, this is the area where I'm supposed to be having fun and it's supposed to be light.
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: But a lot of stuff really comes up and when I was recording this episode, I was in the beginning phases of my sobriety.
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: I think it was like four months in and so I like was just not doing anything.
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: It wasn't dating, I wasn't entertaining any of that because the temptation to drink and the anxiety that's around dating, because it's just easy to have a drink and like air quoting, like take the edge off and then calm down, and all the things, and so I just wasn't even doing any of that.
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: But I reflected in this episode we were talking about it and it's just interesting to look back at the way that I was showing up in dating and I was showing up in relationships and it was so much about what the other person felt, right, I was so concerned about.
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: Well, what do they think?
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: Do they like me to like all these things?
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: And never really asking myself do I even like this person, right?
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: Is this even entertaining to me?
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: And it's just interesting that that shift that's come up.
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: But I've done a lot of work around that and also still noticing those patterns when they come up now, where it's like I get very not concerned, but it's just that like mental sort of freak out or the mental anxiety that can happen because all of these trauma and like triggers like do come up.
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: When I do notice that I have feelings for people, it's almost like my subconscious is creating this internal drama because that's what I'm used to and that's it's unnecessary.
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: And knowing that, like, I feel I am safe now, I'm safe to be in my body, I'm safe to make my own decisions, I'm safe to like.
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: If I don't like somebody, that's fine and I'm safe to say no, right.
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: That's a big one and it was really interesting.
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: I was really cycling through a lot of these issues and these themes this week and really reflecting on it and looking on it and reminding myself that I am safe, I am safe to make my own decisions and like asking myself what do I feel, what do I want, regardless of what anyone else wants.
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: And I had a really potent conversation with somebody who came in at work and it was literally like, just like divine messaging, like one of those conversations that was just.
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: If I was not open to receive it, I wouldn't have received it, obviously, but it was just an incredibly powerful conversation that I was thinking about for like days after and part of the messages that I received during that was around vulnerability, around speaking up, around just like remembering to pray, because I think I meditate a lot and meditation is amazing, but it's generally quieting the mind, or guided meditation, and it almost forgets the two way conversation that can be had and I think prayer is gratitude, it is setting intentions right, it is having that conversation.
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: It's getting curious and I talk about that a lot like being curious with when things come up and I journal around things all the time but when we're working to discern, like, what our body is telling us because it's so important to feel into what our body is saying and sometimes it can be from trauma, where we feel resistance, and the only way to really discern that and to know is to have those conversations like what is this telling me?
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: What lesson am I supposed to learn?
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: Right now it's reflecting and it's not being so much in the head, but it's really trusting what's coming through and being able to come to that space.
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: And like asking the same questions over and over.
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: And I was listening to a podcast I can't remember what it might have been on a manifestation, babe, but she was talking about this.
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: The woman that was being interviewed was talking about asking the universe.
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: Whatever question it was, I can't remember, maybe it was what they were supposed to do with their journey, but she said like she would had asked this question every day for four months before she actually got a response right, and so, like with anything, it's consistency, it's showing up, it's remembering these little practices, and you know, we still have like this last low that I had I think it was Monday what is today, wednesday?
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so it was Monday.
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: I just woke up and I was in a low and then I had this conversation at work that then further launched me into this low, not because it was a bad I'm airquitting bad conversation, because it was such an enlightening conversation.
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: It was such like an aha, like oh my gosh, of course, but sometimes when we have those moments, we have to take full responsibility, we have to witness ourselves, we have to see our shadows, and that sometimes can bring you even lower, because then we're like, oh my, it's really easy to get into that victim space, right, and and I think the truth sometimes does hurt, and being able to witness that.
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: And then, you know, on Tuesday I was in such that it was like this weight had been lifted and I was like, oh my gosh.
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: But during that, you know, when I was in that low and the mind wants to attach to something right, and so, whatever it is for you, your mind is going to attach and it's always remembering like this, too, shall pass, like it's okay.
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: I don't have to, especially if you have emotional authority, right, like waiting out that wave and understanding that you know things will always change, things are always going to be changing.
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: And it's like what are you doing with that?
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: Are you going to sit in that for the next like two weeks, or are you going to take action and move your body and meditate and eat, write and drink extra water or whatever it is that you need to nourish yourself?
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: To come back to yourself, and it was this really great reminder for me when I was feeling more myself yesterday that I don't know that we ever fully get away from those lows.
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: Right, I think they shift and they change and they're easier to like alchemize or they're easier to move through, rather, but I don't know that they ever like fully go away.
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: I don't.
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: I haven't experienced that in my journey yet and maybe one day I will, but I think it's always showing us something, it's always showing us a lesson, it's always something to be seen, something to be learned on.
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: Something else that came up in that conversation too, and something that Greg touched on in this conversation, in our conversation here, is this just like honestly smiling, like this person that came in that I was talking to, like is so friendly and just like always smiling, and we were talking about that and they said that you know, like they've been through a lot of pain in their life, and it's having those smiles not just for yourself but for other people.
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: When you see someone else that's struggling, like just smiling and saying hi is going to brighten their day and it's, you know, when you've been through a lot of pain and I think a lot of healers have been through pain, which is why they have turned to supporting others in their healing journey, because we understand the depth of that and what that feels like and we know what someone else is going through, like so deeply in our soul and it's it can be challenging when you feel so intensely like everything in.
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: I'm just such a big feeler and it's really learning to discern how to not take on something that is not mine and how to protect my own energy.
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: And that's something I've always sort of like struggled with, because I had a soul retrieval session in May and that was what the the facilitator, the guy, was telling me is like you have like if you imagine a bucket, you have a lot of holes in your bucket and so, as you're filling in water, they're just seeping out all these places.
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: You need to protect your energy more.
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: You need to have more practices that will like protect you, and whether it's imagining a bubble around yourself.
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: And I was driving home that on Monday and I was thinking about that was like man, how can I just protect my own energy?
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: And it was just like that was like just declare it.
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: Like no, this is mine, I'm not giving my energy out to anybody else.
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: Like this is mine.
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: It's literally as simple as that.
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: Like you don't have to give your energy to everybody.
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: We feel intensely, but it doesn't mean we have to like give it up for people.
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: And it was literally just as simple as that.
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: And so now it's just like no, I'm not giving my energy out.
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: Like I'm definitely, I'm keeping my energy to myself and I'm staying open to being vulnerable and like listening to what's what's coming.
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: And I think that a lot of times I feel like I'm being vulnerable in situations, but then I have to ask like am I really right?
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: Because there's a fear, and especially, I noticed that pattern in dating.
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: It's like I.
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: I feel like I.
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: I don't like people that easily, but then when I do make a connection then it's like I notice I'll.
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: It's like that fearful avoidance piece to it, right, the attachment theory.
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: So we have like the fearful when oscillates between anxious and dismissive, but the dismissive piece it's like when somebody is available to you.
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: As a dismissive avoidance, then you will like pick at little things that like make them appear less attractive to you, or you like notice things that that are just not what you want.
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: Or it's almost like making excuses and I noticed myself like getting those patterns when I am in that phase and and just like pushing people away.
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: So it's like I feel like I'm being vulnerable.
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: But then I'll notice those little things from like ah, you know, I don't want to answer the phone or or I don't know whatever it is right, and so like really witnessing that and in in instead choosing a path of vulnerability and being honest and open and communicating and saying no and keeping my boundaries.
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: That is a huge one, because when I and I don't know if it's just like the Leo in me some Leo moon and Leo rising and Leo's are just like.
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: So they are like generous and warm and I think it's easy to want to give to other people and also it's like reminder of I have definitely lost myself in relationships before and I think that's my biggest fear, because I have so much going on right now that I really want to move towards like the podcast, my business and the holistic human design Academy, and so there's a part of me that is just like really afraid of getting involved in something and then not focusing on those things.
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: And so I had a moment this week where I was, I had things that I need to do and I was about to not do them just to like show up and I was like, no, I need to focus on myself and I need to be consistent and show, you know, be able to balance both and it's just.
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: It's really interesting and I feel like it's a beautiful thing when you find somebody that is safe, and I will say Greg has been the biggest expander to me for the masculine holding space for me and making me feel like I'm safe.
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: Like just to have a male friend that feels so safe and so supportive has been game changing for me to know that men can be safe.
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: It's like literally rewired my brain to realize like men can be safe we can have relationships with men that are just that, don't want anything right.
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: There's no manipulation, there's no underlying like there's nothing.
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: It's just actual, true, genuine friendship.
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: That's supportive and beautiful, and so I'm so beyond grateful for that because as I navigate now, it's like I can see that that is possible and so finding things that are safe and finding things that are supportive and finding things where I can communicate and if I feel like I can't communicate with somebody, then that's something to be seen.
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: So it's just been a really beautiful week, really interesting week, and I'll probably do a deeper reflection on it next week because this episode is a little bit long and I don't want to take up too too much time here in the intro.
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: But I'm really excited for you all to listen to this episode.
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: You can follow Greg on Instagram I think it's g underscore peoples, and then from G to you and everything is linked in the show notes.
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: The holistic human design Academy opens for the second round September 1st and I'm so excited.
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: If you didn't listen to last week's episode, I had a few of the women from this past round on to talk about their experience with the Academy, what they've learned, and it was just so beautiful and so powerful and I'm so excited for this next round is this program has just been transformational in so many ways and it's been beautiful to witness in these women.
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: And it's been beautiful, of course, to see that something that has been channeled through me has created so much impact, and so I am so excited for the next round.
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: The link is down in the show notes, so there is two different options you can do, you know, enroll just in and get.
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: You get a one-on-one human design session.
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: Within that, you get the group boxer and then you get the program itself.
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: There are bonuses, you'll have replays from the last round, there's guest speakers, all sorts of things.
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: There's a three and a six month plan and then, if you want to upgrade, you can also do the option with one on one coaching, one on one support throughout the entire program, which is a beautiful offering.
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: And then I am also throwing around another idea, but I'll talk about that in another time.
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: The soul care bundle, also with Jesse Eccles, is out currently, so I'm going to leave that link in the show notes as well.
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: It is 17 human design coaches, astrology, astrologers, there's Akashic records, there's memberships.
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: There's so much amazing content in this bundle, and it is $155.
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: My contribution is the emotional authority workshop, which is valued at $97 on its own, and so I am just so honored to have been part of that Again.
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: This year, jesse does it for her birthday her birthday's August 22nd so you can get that at the link in the show notes.
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: You can also do one on one human design sessions with me, and I have a 12, 12 week coaching container as well.
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: So, of course, again, all the information is in the show notes.
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: You can follow me on Instagram at rachelchristian R O C H E L E dotC.
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: H R I S T I A N E, and then rachelchristiancom, and if this episode resonates, please share it with a friend.
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: It really really is so helpful and so supportive for the podcast, and I'm just like so grateful for you listening wherever you're listening.
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much and I will catch you next time.
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: I know I like, I like how to.
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: Uh, I had to stop myself from like elongating it even more.
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: Like my way is always like pull me back for sure.
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: Well, it's funny, I was looking at your chart before and like your um, so your have you like dob into, like your son and unconscious son, like those energies.
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: Not my unconscious son Not like wanted to.
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: Now I've kind of becoming more aware and open of it, like um to see in that side right, but I haven't really given myself the time to actually like dive into it.
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, cause it's like you have the energy of like the now, right yeah, and your conscious that much makes so much sense with meditation, cause that's what it is right it's pulling us into now to like remember who we are.
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: And then your unconscious is like all about like relationships in the tribe, and so you have this like duality of like being individual, like in unique in your expression of self, while also like taking in the tribe and taking care of them.
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: So it's just really interesting, yeah.
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: I just feel like the whole like meditation and, of course, like being artistic and everything you just like it fits in there so well.
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it does.
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: It definitely helps too, and I noticed myself speaking of tribe starting at this new job and I feel myself every time I'm in a new space, I'm like I just want to get to know everybody.
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: I want to know them, but it's also I'm shy too at the same time.
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: So it's like I want to get to know them, but it's like I don't want to go and approach them.
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: It'll come whenever it comes.
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: So as people, more and more people start to talk to them, I'm like, oh, I just started rambling.
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: I'm like, well, let me come back to myself.
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, ok, I got stuff to do, I got to go, but it's always like, it's really like wanting to come together as a group.
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: That's relying but it's also me consciously like OK, I know that'll come whenever.
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: It's meant to Just focus right now on here To be doing.
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly.
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: And that's literally your design in words.
• 19:04
  Speaker 3: You know, like this little bit is, but you definitely have like an energy that calls people.
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: You know you don't have to do much to pull people in, Because I know the first time we met it was just.
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: I mean, I feel like we've definitely known each other in past lives, for sure.
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, for sure, it was very recently.
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: For that.
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: Well, welcome to the podcast.
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: You were supposed to be the first man on here, not supposed to be.
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: You were planned to be the first man on here, but the universe had other plans, so now you are number two, but still as important, yeah.
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: A lot of life which is happening.
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: Exactly, exactly.
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: So this is perfectly timed, as it's meant to be.
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: So I will hand it over to you and let you just explain, or let you tell your story, share your story with everybody, as I always say like as much, as little as you'd like to Just kind of any like defining moments that got you to where you are today.
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, ok, so I'm Greg or G people, so this is what my Instagram is.
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: I'm a musician, writer, poet, I like to say, also model, personal trainer, meditation coach as well.
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: So a little bit of everything, mg.
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, for sure, to dive into as much stuff as I can.
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: I'm always willing to learn something new and I have to bring myself back into focusing on certain things that are currently for me right now.
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: And so yeah, and there's like a lot of this journey started around seven to eight years ago.
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: I left college and it's funny I always like to tell people I left college because of an LSE trip.
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: That's kind of like what pushed me to do it.
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: I was really searching for myself in college and I just realized like something wasn't clicking and I wasn't really happy with the environment and I was into psychedelics like crazy my whole life.
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: I don't even know what really pushed me into being into it like I was.
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: I just knew that there was always something more.
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: I was always really spiritual, being raised in a Christian household, but I couldn't really relate to Christianity as much as like my family wanted me to, so I was always kind of like that black sheep of the family, the rebel, always out doing something else that I wasn't supposed to be doing, or like running away or sinking out or something like that.
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: But I've always had my own relationship to the divine, I like to say.
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: And so, as I was searching for myself in college, there was one night I was just like you know what?
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: I'm going to get to the bottom of this and it was like a full day of pretty much tripping.
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: I had a group of friends and we all did it and went outside and went to a picnic, had a great time.
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: But I came back home and I had so many thoughts going on, you know, because, like, adelaide was just bringing all those things to the forefront and I was just like, ok, I need to go in my room, I just need to write, and I don't know what it is, I just need to write.
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: So I went in my room, I set the mood, I locked the door, set some intentions, had some Bob Marley plan at the same time, and then I just literally wrote for hours and then I don't even know how the night ended.
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: I just remember passing out and having vivid ass dreams and then I woke up and I'm like not really recalling anything.
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: I slept in the next day and woke up and I was like, wow, yesterday was fun but crazy.
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: And I see, on my desk in my room it looks a mess, there's papers everywhere and all that.
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: And I was like whoa, I was going through last night and I walk over there and I'm reading these papers and it's just so much that was passing through me and I was reading these.
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: I was like, oh my god, I'm asking myself the meaning of life.
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: And then I feel lost in all these things.
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: It's the stuff that I was hiding.
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: But it's here.
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: And as I was reading through it on the last page it was like, well, what is the meaning of life?
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: What is my purpose?
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: And I flip over the page and then it just says creation over the back of it, like in big boat letters all over the page and I trace it like 20 times.
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: It's a really ingrained in my head and I was like, oh, and then everything just clicked at that point and I jumped into photography and started being a photographer for like a lot of landscape things, started doing research on that, started studying that, and then I actually changed my major to photography, or minoring in photography, but still like majoring in business and then really by the end of that semester I was like, yeah, I know what I want to do.
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: This isn't it anymore.
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: So then I left and I moved back home with my parents and then from there I knew what I wanted to do, just didn't know how to do it exactly.
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: But I got into meditation at the same time because I was very much so like I need to figure this out and I didn't want to rely on the psychedelics like that.
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: So I literally I didn't know what meditation was.
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: I just sat with myself and I just constantly repeated I don't have any doubt, like I don't have any doubt in this, I don't have any doubt in that.
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: And I started doing like a serving job was my very first serving job.
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: So I was like I don't have any doubt, I'm going to be the best server.
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: I'm going to be the best server I'm going to be.
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: And I repeated that at least like 100 times just sitting on my couch and I would do that almost daily.
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: And then the next thing I know like I'm there in the restaurant and people are loving me and like I'm getting all these great tips, and then everyone like wants to hang out with me and do all these things and then, like all my tip procedures are like through the roof, above everyone else's.
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: I'm making all this money.
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: I'm just like whoa, this is crazy.
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: So then I started like I was like, if it works that way, like I wonder what else it can work with, you know.
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: So then I started doing it with other things in my life, and one thing after another like it got me into modeling.
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: I started doing acting as well.
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: I started getting things booked in Dallas and I was just like OK, like this is exactly what I've been wanting to do.
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: I went to LA Fashion Week, new York Fashion Week, this is all like 2018.
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: I was only 18, 19 at the time and I was like wow, like OK.
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: And then, like, at the same time, I was starting to write more too, because I started realizing all this power that's like coming out of me.
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: So then I was writing and I noticed that all my writing started to have like rhyme schemes.
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: I'm like well, why are they?
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: Why am I rhyming so much?
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: That's weird and I wouldn't share it with anybody.
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: Then, one day, as I was writing, there was a thought that I was like maybe I should post this and see what happens.
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: And as I started posting my writing, just like as a healing mechanism because I was still searching for myself there in time, I was going through a breakup as well with, I want to say, my first love, and I was just like you're lost.
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: At that point, Even though things are working out in some areas, the other areas of your life, we're just like I don't feel like anything's working anymore, and so I was very much so writing to heal within.
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: And as I started posting, I started getting so much feedback.
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: I was like you know what?
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: Well, I have like six months worth of writing and writing screens that look like poems, so why not make them into poems and put them in a book?
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: So I did that and I published my first book called Trials of Perspective Visions, trials of Perspective and it had three chapters, which was like love was the first one, and then it was basically like life and then the infinite.
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: And it's so interesting because during that whole time period I didn't even feel like I was writing it and stuff.
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: And it's so funny because I actually went back recently and reread those, because I never really put them out there, I just published it and I was like, hey look, I published this.
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: There was a few people that bought it, a few family members, few friends, and it's not just to kind of get out.
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: But I just never really promoted like that because it was always for me, you know.
• 27:33
  Speaker 2: And so I went back and read that recently and I was like whoa, this is still so much truth that is even relevant to this day.
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: So I started to kind of repost those things.
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: But anyway, something I can get rid of, that's whenever I wrote my first book and then from there I was really just kind of like doing everything creative, modeling, writing.
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: And then I had my brother and my sister.
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: He was like, yeah, you do all this poetry, you should do some music.
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: And I was always like I'm never going to do music.
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: I'm never doing music.
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: No, no, no, because that is what everyone wants to do.
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: In college, that's what everyone was doing.
• 28:18
  Speaker 2: I had my roommate making beats all the time, stuff like that, and we'd all go freestyle or whatever, but I just never took it seriously.
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: So I'm never going to do music, I just want to do acting, modeling and other than writing.
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: But that same roommate, two years after college, I was like, hey, I got this track that I kind of think that you sound really cool on If you want to come try it out.
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: I see you doing poetry somewhere.
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: And I was like you know what?
• 28:45
  Speaker 2: Three people are telling me I should try it out, why not?
• 28:49
  Speaker 2: You know, I'm like following the urge.
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: So I went and recorded for the first time with him and I literally felt like she was going down my entire body.
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: I felt my crown chakra fucking beaming and I was like what is this?
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: What am I feeling right now?
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: I was like why does this feel so good?
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: And I was telling him I was like this feels great and I'm recording it and I go back and I listen to it.
• 29:13
  Speaker 2: It's not gonna be good.
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: At least I don't think it's gonna be good whatsoever, so it's trash.
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: But I'm like yo, this is life changing.
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: I'm so hype about all this shit.
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: And he was like, yeah, man, well, they're so crazy, they're actually really deep and all the stuff, and you have flow like that.
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: So he just encouraged me to keep on.
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: So I go back home and now I'm writing like three or four songs a day, like taking all my poems and turning them into songs, and I'm just like, well, I can't stop now.
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: And then we made a whole album just one summer, just constantly, every single day, just going in there, just like, and it was so fun.
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: We didn't know what we were doing, we were just kind of going for it.
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: And then I put it out there and even now I go back and I'm like I don't think that was that good.
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: But the lyrics are like crazy.
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, that's good, but I started there's people that were noticing outside of friends and family that were like yo, the music is really good.
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: People started reaching out to me over social media, over Instagram, things like that.
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: And then I performed at the House of Blues for the very first time in August 2019.
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I want to say it was August, I think, maybe 2018, 2019.
• 30:30
  Speaker 2: And I was just like, yeah, like OK, I think music is what I'm supposed to be doing now.
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: Like I guess this is where I'm at now.
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: So I was doing that for a good two years before.
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: I was like, all right, like I want to go to LA.
• 30:46
  Speaker 2: I originally told myself I was not getting back into the restaurant industry ever, ever again.
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: And I said the same thing yeah, yeah, after doing it for like three, four years, I was like all right, I'm done, I don't want to do this shit anymore.
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: And I had a friend who just got me into it.
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: They were like, yeah, I think that you love it.
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: Like they're all talking about mindfulness and meditation, all this stuff that I learned.
• 31:15
  Speaker 2: Now I just think you'd be great.
• 31:16
  Speaker 2: And I was like, ok.
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: So I went in for the interview and while I was having my interview, I was seeing one of my friends, megan, who was at our class.
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: She walked in.
• 31:27
  Speaker 2: She was like oh my god, are you interviewing?
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: I was like, yeah, she's like I love this place.
• 31:32
  Speaker 3: But she used to work there.
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: No, no, she was eating there.
• 31:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, she was eating there.
• 31:36
  Speaker 2: So I was like, oh, I was like, oh, wow, like all right, that's a good sign.
• 31:41
  Speaker 2: And so then, yeah, I started working there and I ended up loving it.
• 31:44
  Speaker 2: And then I found out the day after I got hired that I can actually transfer and they're based in California.
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: And so I was like whoa, that's crazy, this is like a way into LA and so exactly where I want to be.
• 32:01
  Speaker 2: And then the pandemic happened, I want to say a month after I got hired.
• 32:08
  Speaker 2: So, of course, put everything on pause for like the next year or so.
• 32:13
  Speaker 2: And I went back into the medical industry and was doing that for a while and once all that happened, it kind of just made everything pause, right, and I was just working at BCBS during the time.
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: And then I was like all right, I don't want to do this, because I was miserable and just working behind the desk at home all day long.
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: I was like yes, it's not it.
• 32:36
  Speaker 2: And then it was like 12 hour days and I was like this is not fun.
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: So then I left that job and once things started opening back up, I was just and yeah, and it brought me all the way to LA now, and so I was doing meditation, always on my own, and throughout my last few years in Dallas, I actually started coaching some friends and family.
• 32:59
  Speaker 2: I was like, yo, you want to try out some of my meditations?
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: I had no idea what I was doing, but I took a lot of courses online by that time, throughout the pandemic, and I was like, ok, I didn't know that I could really make a business out of this until I was in a course that my friend had put me in and it was basically how to launch a like a take course or like it was a course on how to build a course that you can charge a lot of money for.
• 33:26
  Speaker 2: And I found out that there's yoga teachers, mindfulness teachers, meditation teachers, like human design teachers that are making courses and they're making $1 million like six figures throughout the pandemic.
• 33:40
  Speaker 2: And I was like I've been doing this the last three, four years.
• 33:45
  Speaker 2: How come I didn't hear about this?
• 33:46
  Speaker 2: So that's kind of what pushed me into actually coaching.
• 33:52
  Speaker 2: And then from there is whenever I actually started practicing on friends and family.
• 33:57
  Speaker 2: And then I was like, yo, I really like this.
• 33:59
  Speaker 2: And then, as you say, people are kind of drawn to me and I just started to receive that.
• 34:06
  Speaker 2: A lot People were like, yeah, you're so good at this, you're so gentle with it, like your voice is so soothing, you should do this, you should really do this.
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: And I was so in my head about it.
• 34:16
  Speaker 2: I was listening and I was like, yeah, ok, whatever, and so.
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: But then I really started taking it seriously and it really led me here.
• 34:27
  Speaker 2: And once I got here to LA, I got to know you.
• 34:29
  Speaker 2: I feel like I was able to step into it more freely, without feeling so judgmental about myself, because LA, of course, is like everyone does it right, and I really felt like inviting a warm welcome in that spiritual community here.
• 34:47
  Speaker 2: And so, yeah, so now I do that I'm gonna start doing some classes like the ones we did.
• 34:54
  Speaker 2: That was like the very first time, and now I'm still doing music as well.
• 35:02
  Speaker 2: Like I was telling you, I found out that app.
• 35:04
  Speaker 2: So, like I initially came here and I was going to get my own studio, get my own business going, get it off the ground and really start working for myself, and everything was like all three of them were just kind of constantly picking up all at the same time, and so now it brought me to a point where I'm managing at True Foods and bartending and now I'm doing personal training, because all the mindfulness meditation kind of led me into people who connect me with personal training and, like now, I'm doing personal training as well and as well as the meditation, coaching, and then music is still here that I do in my spare time, along with all the writing, so all of it is saying it in and so, yeah, it's like I'm learning about my journey within the last like five years.
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like I was learning so much about you Like listening like I didn't know that.
• 36:00
  Speaker 3: I didn't know that.
• 36:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like I was rambling there for a moment, right now.
• 36:04
  Speaker 3: It was interesting.
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: It was interesting.
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think like it's that was like one of our first conversations, I think.
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: Like I mentioned the human design, so I said I had coached.
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: I also coached.
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: You're like oh, what do you coach?
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: And I coached meditation and that was like definitely one of our very first like conversations that we just like got along with.
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: But like I've always with you, like you have such an old soul too, like sometimes I forget, like that I'm so much older than you, like when I think about it I'm like, oh my gosh.
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: But it's just like and I don't know, maybe I bring that out in YouTube, right, cause I think we're all like mirrors for each other but I like really admire the like ability to live in like both worlds, right, cause, like I find for my personal journey is, I've discovered like I have to be, I have to find my spirituality like through my body, like being clean, and you know what I mean Like when my body has like alcohol or like the food and all that stuff.
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: I've noticed it just like disconnects me so much.
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: And I know that's like partly a mental thing, cause I just mean we are human in a human world, right, and it's like I think we can have both.
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: But for whatever reason, my journey has just come.
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: So I like watch people who can like be in both and just be deeply spiritual and deeply in the human and I'm just like, ah, I want to be like that.
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: You know Like I admire that and I respect that.
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: So it's definitely like I don't know, it's like something that I love about you that you can be in both worlds and also still be deeply spiritual and also still be deeply here you know Right.
• 37:28
  Speaker 3: Thank you for that.
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean you have moon in the 12th house and that's just like you're either like completely off and like wherever, or you know what I mean Like the 12th house is like what's hidden from us, so you're like you embody deeply like every aspect of it, or you just don't see it at all, you know, and so I think there can be like a lot of duality within that.
• 37:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah exactly, it's definitely like it definitely takes a lot too, and it's like you got to have that awareness of both, you know, in order to really be in both and in order to not get lost, cause like there's been times when I was just on benders and I was just going out and I was like wait a minute, this doesn't feel okay.
• 38:08
  Speaker 2: Like it took me blacking out one time and like waking up on my friend's couch and I was like where am I?
• 38:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like who the house is this?
• 38:15
  Speaker 2: And they're like oh yeah, we found you drunk in the street, yeah, and now everyone's like I was like, oh shit.
• 38:22
  Speaker 2: I was like, okay, I should, I should slow down.
• 38:25
  Speaker 2: I should I'm not a little bit Cause I now.
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: I loved the party, like I loved to go and drink.
• 38:30
  Speaker 2: I love to do those things and like hang out with friends.
• 38:32
  Speaker 2: But it's also like you got to have that discernment of like is this going to feel good for me right now?
• 38:37
  Speaker 2: You know, and I really like that from you too, on your journey, whenever you would speak about your journey, about like is drinking going to feel good for me right now, or is it?
• 38:47
  Speaker 2: Am I just using this as a cope for something?
• 38:49
  Speaker 2: You know, and learning that from you allowed me to be here in LA where, like, people love to party and I'm like all about it, but it's also like every day someone wants to party.
• 39:01
  Speaker 2: You know, do I really need to go and do that right now, or should I go, focus on this?
• 39:06
  Speaker 2: I just want to do that because I want to procrastinate more, you know.
• 39:10
  Speaker 2: So, like it takes, I would say yeah, it just takes a lot of like, awareness and discernment to really know what's for you, and I feel like the last few months, even hearing about your journey without going and everything like that also made me not drink as much, like I don't remember the last time like I actually went out and like got drunk anymore and like it's been like I feel like it's been a few months Maybe while I was there in Dallas actually it was around Christmas time.
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, no, that was different.
• 39:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, actually, I do remember.
• 39:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it was like two weeks ago.
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: No, I'm just kidding.
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, wait a minute.
• 39:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it was like such a long time ago.
• 39:49
  Speaker 2: I know right, it really does, it really does.
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: It was like a long time ago.
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, and I mean I've granted, you know, I'm 36.
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: So I've had like and I think like that your 20s are a time to have that fun and experimentation and like finding yourself and everything like that.
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: But for me it was like when I got into my 30s and I became spiritual and I really wanted to get like in this journey, yeah, there were days were, or like mornings, where I'd wake up and I'm like, damn, I don't remember getting home, but I know I drove.
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean, and it was just like that at a certain point especially.
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: I mean, I know you have a daughter too, and then it's like that's the first thing that comes into my mind.
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: I'm like shit, like what, if something happened, you know, like, so it was just like it was a lot of that and just, yeah, connecting with myself and exactly like you said, like if, like, I have so much drive and so much passion for what I want to do, and I was finding myself like after work just drinking right, and then I wouldn't come home, or I would come home but I wouldn't meditate, I wouldn't edit the podcast, and then I was like cramming and procrastinating and it's like all of those like aspects of myself that, when I really sit and focus on like who I need to be, who I need to show up to be, to bring in the things that I'm calling in.
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: None of those characteristics are on that list, right?
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: So it was like something has to shift.
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: And since I've given up alcohol and since I've like really focused on, you know, the podcast.
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: I mean like it's literally, I mean it's huge the shifts and the change and the engagement and all of those things.
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: And I think it just comes from a more authentic space and like showing up in that way.
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: And you know, of course, we're all different and you know not to say that anybody can't have both, but I think, like for me and my journey, it was like I just I had to, and like for me like so much of relationships are huge.
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: Like when you look at my like natal chart and my human design, it's like relationships are all over it.
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: Right, it's like that is one of my core themes and so when I was drinking, I would I mean, you've heard my like emotional, like rants and like crying- and stuff like that.
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: Right, but it was like when I was drinking, it was bringing out all those elements about me, right, and so it was then, because then the next day I'm anxious, and you know what I mean, and then I'm ruminating and I'm going on all these things.
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: Like you said, it's like it's just sitting down and being like I'm going to be the best server there is right, and you can't get there when you're so anxious.
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: You have to do the work to pull yourself back.
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: So it's like now I've noticed it's so much easier for me, Like when I have those moments where I'm like feeling unworthiness or low self-worth, I'm like no, I'm a fucking badass.
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: Like I got this, like I got this right, and it's so much easier to then like replace those thoughts which then over time really kind of rewire.
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: And you know, when I came to LA, it was interesting because, like I loved hanging out with you and I loved being with you and like doing all the things.
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: But like LA, I'm not sure how I feel about it Like I felt like kind of off the whole time I was there.
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: Granted, it was a, it was the full moon, eclipse, it was a whole bunch of shit.
• 42:28
  Speaker 3: All in place.
• 42:28
  Speaker 3: It was intense, it was crazy intense.
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: But I did see that right.
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: It's like there was, I did sense, like a sadness and desperation in LA where, like exactly what you described, I think, people come with these dreams and these hopes and these and this drive and you get caught up in the drugs and the alcohol and the party scene and the who and the where and it's like it's so easy to just I feel like just get lost in that and I feel like there probably so many people who live there have some sort of heavy Pisces placements where it's just like a co-dependence and addiction is like heavy right.
• 43:00
  Speaker 2: The amount of Pisces I've made is crazy.
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: I bet.
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: I bet, cause, like I've heard, there's like a vortex there, right.
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: So it's like deeply spiritual, which we call that Pisces energy, but that also deeply addictive, right, and that's like like as the archetype of Pisces.
• 43:12
  Speaker 2: But it's just interesting, yeah, 100%.
• 43:16
  Speaker 2: And even like I felt like whenever I moved here, it was like a step forward in my whole life journey, like, oh, wow, like I've manifested being here in my own place, cause, like this is what I wanted for so long now, you know.
• 43:29
  Speaker 2: But it was also like in my daily life, I was taking steps backwards because I was like almost starting over and it was like, oh, I want to go out and meet people, I want to go out and do this, I want to go this place, I want to do that, I want to be a part of it, I want to be a part of everything you know.
• 43:44
  Speaker 2: And it took me like I got here February 2022.
• 43:48
  Speaker 2: It took me now I was still making time for the things that I needed to, but it wasn't as much as I am now, you know.
• 43:56
  Speaker 2: Like now, like I've been locked in for like months, you know.
• 43:59
  Speaker 2: But beforehand it was like, oh, like this is LA, I want to go experience it all you know.
• 44:04
  Speaker 2: So it took me from February all the way through like August, to actually like sit down and be like, okay, I've been all over the place like the last six months.
• 44:16
  Speaker 2: I did not come here for that, let me reground myself, let me come back here and write out what I'm really here supposed to do.
• 44:25
  Speaker 2: You know, and it took six months for me to have that conversation with myself, because I was also like, no, let me go do this.
• 44:32
  Speaker 2: And then I would try to have that conversation with myself, but I was also like drunk and like no man, like falling asleep, you know.
• 44:39
  Speaker 2: So it was hard to do that and I'd be meditating every day still, you know, but it was almost like those meditations weren't deep, to the point where I needed to be, you know, because there's different levels of meditation, so much that you learn about it, right, so much that you learn about yourself, the meditation through just self work in general, and whenever you know that you're going through a certain phase and it's like I know I'm learning something out of this.
• 45:08
  Speaker 2: I also know that all the soulful work that I usually do, I'm only hitting surface level because I keep setting myself back.
• 45:18
  Speaker 2: You know, I keep procrastinating for myself, I keep not doing the work because I want to go do other stuff instead, you know.
• 45:25
  Speaker 2: So now, like I'm kind of back in that mode of like, okay, I'm here to work, I'm here to work and, like now, because this place is such a vortex for things, like everything manifests so fast, you know, everything manifests really fast and just the fact of like, like you said, you can feel that desperation while you're here and the amount of people throughout my time period here that, like you meet someone new every single day.
• 45:50
  Speaker 2: But it's also like you find so many people that are exactly where you are too, like, oh, I came here and did this, blah, blah, blah, but I'm just so drained, I'm just so tired of feeling like I have to be out.
• 46:01
  Speaker 2: I'm so tired of social media, I'm so tired, blah, blah, blah, you know, and I get.
• 46:04
  Speaker 2: There's people who, like, break down in front of me because they can't take it anymore and they're thinking about just quitting and ending everything.
• 46:10
  Speaker 2: You know, and this is like whoa, like you're going through this too, like it's not just me, it's everyone, is everyone here, you know, and I have like like friends, like Rachel, you know, and she's like, yeah, like I know that all this going on right now like the clip season and like virtual grade, dah, dah, dah.
• 46:26
  Speaker 2: Well, like I just felt so overwhelmed right now because all these energies that you know, and it's just like, yeah, like me too, I feel that, but I feel like that's a cool thing about it too, cause, like you have people here that you can connect with, but it's almost like having that right group to know, or like the right people that you know are meant for you, who you can work out of that with, as opposed to continue on with these like addictions, right.
• 46:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, and I, like I you talk about like the whole, like knowing the astrology sometimes I get like the two.
• 47:00
  Speaker 1: I'm like I knew this was going to happen, but yeah.
• 47:02
  Speaker 3: But it doesn't.
• 47:03
  Speaker 1: It doesn't like diminish the emotions that go along with how it physically affects you.
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: You know it's like one thing, to know it on a logical level and another thing to feel it in your body.
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: You know, and just as you're talking, to like you have your pace, your North and South node, your North nodes and Pisces, your South node, zinvergo, and the second and the eighth house.
• 47:18
  Speaker 1: So that's all about your money and other people's money, right?
• 47:21
  Speaker 1: So it's like when you can lean into that Pisces energy, which is again codependence, addiction, that finding that balance of like where you're going to thrive, that's going to bring in your money, right, like tapping into that spirituality for you is going to bring in money and self-worth and all that stuff like that.
• 47:33
  Speaker 1: But yeah, it's interesting.
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: And what do you think like when you like meet people who are just like overwhelmed with the process and like and just like kind of crumbling under that, what do you think makes the difference?
• 47:44
  Speaker 1: Right, cause it's like I know on a logical level, right, and I'm sort of like I feel like I'm preparing myself because I think when things I think once you start to manifest like, it does happen really quickly and it's like if you've done the preparation to be able to mentally, physically, emotionally handle that pressure, cause it's like it is so easy to just like I'm reading the book Think and Grow Rich have you read it.
• 48:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I've listened to.
• 48:07
  Speaker 2: He has like an audio lecture of it.
• 48:09
  Speaker 2: So I started to read and then I found the audio lecture and I was like, oh, I just want to listen to it.
• 48:13
  Speaker 2: I just like to listen to the audio, the whole audio lecture for it.
• 48:17
  Speaker 2: So yeah, yeah.
• 48:18
  Speaker 1: Well, he talks a lot about like these, these highly successful, like super wealthy business people who spent, like like he was talking about the guy who created Starbucks I can't remember his name, but it was like he, like Starbucks, was losing millions of dollars for years before it took off right.
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: And I'm always like it's like what was the drive to continue through losing so much money in the face of so many people being like you are failing, you are a failure.
• 48:44
  Speaker 1: Right To be like.
• 48:45
  Speaker 1: No, this is going to happen because it's easy for me to like sit here now, like with my podcast.
• 48:50
  Speaker 1: You know what it's been like three years and I say three years but it's really one and a half because I didn't talk about it for one and a half, right, so it's like, but to really have that like commitment and that drive, and I mean I feel like obviously that's the difference, but like I don't know, I don't know if I asked a question, that I kind of answered it from my perspective.
• 49:06
  Speaker 2: So I'm gonna back over to you, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what it's pretty much is.
• 49:11
  Speaker 2: It's like from so, with everyone who I've noticed, who are going through these things, the number one thing that allows them to come back harder is they always cut out everything and just go into like almost hermit mode, right, they go into solitude, they go into that place where it's only them and only space for themselves.
• 49:34
  Speaker 2: Like I just need to be alone.
• 49:35
  Speaker 2: I just need to be alone for this time.
• 49:37
  Speaker 2: Like I have this friend named Sage and she's like I love her to death.
• 49:41
  Speaker 2: And like we just met through one of my other mutual friends, and like we were in this holistic group of like getting together and like there's an Ayurvedic chef, there's me who's a meditation coach, and then there's my friends who like musicians, but they also make crystal jewelry, Like so we're in this little group and I ended up meeting her and now like we're such close friends.
• 50:02
  Speaker 2: But one thing that she says is like there's times period whenever people are just on business, right, Like oh, I want to go out and stuff like that.
• 50:14
  Speaker 2: And then there was one week like I find it so unreal, oh, we caught up and then we went out and we're like, yeah, and then we had fun and then, I came back home and I was like, yeah, well, she wanted to show me her new spot that she just moved into because there was so much going on with her right.
• 50:31
  Speaker 2: And she was one of those people who was just like, oh, there's so much going on and this happened.
• 50:35
  Speaker 2: And this happened, and this happened.
• 50:36
  Speaker 2: And I was like whoa, I didn't know all that was going on whenever I first met she.
• 50:40
  Speaker 2: That's crazy.
• 50:41
  Speaker 2: And she's like, yeah, I'm just now getting out of it.
• 50:43
  Speaker 2: Like this is like three, four months later.
• 50:45
  Speaker 2: I'm like holy shit.
• 50:46
  Speaker 2: I'm like wow, that's a lie, you know.
• 50:47
  Speaker 2: And she was just like one of the times, whenever I was supposed to come over, I was like, hey, like you know, what are you doing?
• 50:55
  Speaker 2: And one thing she told me she was like I went pretty crazy last week.
• 51:00
  Speaker 2: I was out every day, I was drinking, I was doing all these things.
• 51:03
  Speaker 2: So like this week I'm just, I was just playing the cool.
• 51:05
  Speaker 2: I was cooling Like maybe we can catch up next week, because this week I'm just taking it all to myself, like I don't want to do anything, I'm not going out with anyone, I'm not seeing anyone, like you know, no offense to you or anything like that she's, like I love you so much, you know, but like I just need this time, you know, and just like, oh, I completely understand that.
• 51:22
  Speaker 2: I love the fact that you're telling me that yeah, make space for yourself, Do that, do the work that you need to do, you know, and that's the number one thing for everyone I've met.
• 51:30
  Speaker 2: There's also a yoga teacher who I met through True Food that I connected with and she was having like a mental breakdown on social media one day and I was like, yeah, it's okay.
• 51:41
  Speaker 2: Like you know all the stuff.
• 51:42
  Speaker 2: She's like, yeah, I just need to like I'm going to delete my account deactivated for a little bit, I'm just going to go ghost for a while.
• 51:47
  Speaker 2: I need to make space for myself, you know.
• 51:51
  Speaker 2: And then, like a few months later, she's back up and she's like feeling better than ever, getting all these bookings now, like all these things.
• 51:56
  Speaker 2: I'm just like, yeah, like the number one thing is always creating space for yourself in the midst of all the chaos going on.
• 52:03
  Speaker 2: You got to have that discernment to come back to yourself, to come home to yourself, to come into solitude and just sit with everything that you're feeling and then just continue to peel back those layers until you're back home.
• 52:16
  Speaker 1: You know yeah, I love that and I would 100% agree.
• 52:20
  Speaker 1: It's like and I think it takes like putting that into practice consistently in a daily routine right To be able to like find yourself in that overwhelm and be like no, no, no, no, I need to pull back and come back to me to see what feels right for me and where I need to go.
• 52:33
  Speaker 1: In this moment, I think when you don't have that practice is probably when it becomes overwhelming.
• 52:38
  Speaker 1: You don't know what to do and you're listening to everybody else around you instead of like coming into your space.
• 52:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because that's not easy, being able to like tell someone like, hey, like I know you want to hang out, but I can't this week Because I really need to focus on myself.
• 52:54
  Speaker 2: Like that is a lot of that's hard work to say that to someone you know, especially someone that's like you're really close with it.
• 53:00
  Speaker 2: You know and I realized that a lot of my friends here they know when to say that, you know when not to say that.
• 53:06
  Speaker 2: You know, and it's like they only know that through trial and error, they only know that through their experiences that they've been through, because they had been to the point where there's so drained, there's so down low at the rock bottom, they don't know what else to do.
• 53:19
  Speaker 2: You know, and it takes going through that level to know that, ok, this time around.
• 53:23
  Speaker 2: I know, whenever I felt like this three months ago, I know doing this made me feel better, so let me make the space for that so that I can come back and feel better.
• 53:32
  Speaker 2: You know you got to constantly do that and it's never going to get easier, but it's that constant repetition that makes you better at doing it, that makes you more aware of it.
• 53:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a trust with yourself, for sure.
• 53:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah.
• 53:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like I've been practicing that in a lot of ways.
• 53:47
  Speaker 1: A lot of it's coming, a lot of it is like in dating because that's like always my I used to be like hugely codependent people, pleaser.
• 53:54
  Speaker 1: So it was like if anybody paid me attention, I was like, oh my gosh, you like me and like who cares what I actually feel about you.
• 53:59
  Speaker 1: You like me.
• 54:02
  Speaker 3: So now I'm like I practice so much in that.
• 54:04
  Speaker 1: Or if, like, I don't feel right in my body, I'm like, no, no, no, I don't care.
• 54:07
  Speaker 1: Or like sometimes I'll be, like I'll find myself like trying to like engage in conversation with somebody who's literally just like boring and I'm like, why am I trying to engage this?
• 54:15
  Speaker 1: This is not even interesting.
• 54:17
  Speaker 1: If you don't have like but like.
• 54:18
  Speaker 1: So it starts there.
• 54:19
  Speaker 1: And then you know then noticing in business, when I'm given certain offers or people are coming to me for certain things, it's so uncomfortable to tell people no, but I have to trust what I'm feeling.
• 54:30
  Speaker 1: If it's not aligned, I have to find a kind way to be like.
• 54:35
  Speaker 1: You know this might not work right now you know, and I have a few like emails now that I'm sitting on and like I know I need to respond and say no, but it's so hard because it's like I just want everybody to be happy, but then at what expense, you know, at mine.
• 54:47
  Speaker 1: So it's really like discerning all that and I feel that it's.
• 54:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it is not easy to like know in in yourself like what is a guess and what is a no, and then having to express that outwards, you know it's not easy.
• 55:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, exactly Exactly, and I feel like it also comes down to, like you said, trusting yourself and also just surrendering to what you're feeling, because by doing that, it shows you exactly where you need to go.
• 55:14
  Speaker 2: You know, I've been listening to Curly Nikki.
• 55:19
  Speaker 2: Have you heard of her?
• 55:21
  Speaker 2: She she's I don't know exactly she is but she has a great podcast and they're all like the episodes are five to eight minutes long.
• 55:29
  Speaker 2: That's it.
• 55:30
  Speaker 2: Rarely is it over 10 minutes, maybe once every now, every few episodes.
• 55:35
  Speaker 2: But it's basically like I think it's good morning with Nikki or something like that.
• 55:39
  Speaker 2: And the very first time I heard it I was like, whoa, like this is it's.
• 55:45
  Speaker 2: It's funny because that's what influenced me to go back and read my first book, because things that she was saying I was like this all sounds so familiar and he sounds like words that I was saying to myself a while ago, and she just talks about essence being love, being God, and how we don't need to search for it, for it's already within us, you know, and so like even on Mac, and read those, a lot of those writings in that first book.
• 56:09
  Speaker 2: It was like you already are, you are a guy.
• 56:11
  Speaker 2: That's already within you.
• 56:12
  Speaker 2: He's already within you, you know, and they send everything that you see.
• 56:15
  Speaker 2: And so I was like whoa.
• 56:16
  Speaker 2: There's so much connection here and like it's all coming back full circle to me, like years later, and I'm just like whoa.
• 56:23
  Speaker 2: That's, that's so crazy.
• 56:24
  Speaker 2: But in that moment of me writing those books and I feel like it's the same with her.
• 56:30
  Speaker 2: Whenever she's speaking into the microphone, she is surrendering completely and trusting to what she feels and what comes through.
• 56:42
  Speaker 2: That just makes a space for all the guidance that you need to come through, like all the answers, everything that you're seeking comes through and you realize oh okay, it's not as difficult as I'm making it at all, because with so much going on in the world and everything that we see, our mind constantly keeps those things going in our head too, like we can't control our thoughts.
• 57:06
  Speaker 2: You know we can't.
• 57:08
  Speaker 2: Thinking happens to us.
• 57:09
  Speaker 2: We don't make ourselves have these thoughts right.
• 57:13
  Speaker 2: So those nasty thoughts about yourself, those nasty thoughts about your life, those nasty thoughts that keep you down at rock bottom, they're going to be there, you know.
• 57:22
  Speaker 2: But you have to be able to look at it.
• 57:25
  Speaker 2: What is that?
• 57:26
  Speaker 2: What is that showing me?
• 57:27
  Speaker 2: Why am I feeling this in my body?
• 57:29
  Speaker 2: Why is this thought constantly popping up for the third time this week of I don't want to do this right now, you know, like why am I procrastinating?
• 57:37
  Speaker 2: What is it that I'm running from?
• 57:38
  Speaker 2: You know, constantly looking at those things and sitting with them creates a space for so much more to come in.
• 57:44
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 57:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 57:48
  Speaker 1: I sometimes like walk around and I listen to people talk and I just want to be like love yourself, you know what I mean.
• 57:54
  Speaker 1: Like people, like.
• 57:55
  Speaker 1: Even when I hear people do like, oh, I'm so dumb, I'm like no, you're not, you're learning.
• 57:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you know.
• 58:00
  Speaker 1: That's what I always tell, like my daughter especially she's very much on the like the negativity thing right now, and I know it's her age and her friend group and stuff like that.
• 58:07
  Speaker 1: But like she'll say stuff like that and she's like I just can't do it, I'm not smart enough, and I'm just like no, you're learning, like, tell yourself that you're experimenting, you're learning Like find a new way to like spin it.
• 58:17
  Speaker 1: That's more positive because it's so powerful.
• 58:20
  Speaker 1: What we speak you know.
• 58:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like yeah.
• 58:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 58:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you have to allow yourself to be human, mm-hmm.
• 58:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and like not resist, but even like, when those thoughts come up, right, because like we all have it.
• 58:34
  Speaker 1: I work really hard on the positive mindset and stuff like that.
• 58:37
  Speaker 1: But I still have days where I have the internal dialogue that's just like, oh, you can't do this, like where are you even trying, you know?
• 58:43
  Speaker 1: But it's like also having compassion and for me I see that as like my inner child, right.
• 58:47
  Speaker 1: So it's just like how can I give that part of me some love and not just be like, you know, be quiet, like because it's like you're fighting it with what it's putting out at the same time when you're trying to silence it so much, right?
• 58:57
  Speaker 1: So it's like there's a piece of you that wants to be heard.
• 58:59
  Speaker 1: So can you hear it without judging it and without you know?
• 59:03
  Speaker 1: Because I do.
• 59:03
  Speaker 1: Sometimes I hear people in conversation and I find myself judging what they're saying because of the way they're thinking about themselves, and I'm like I'm no better because I'm judging them for saying that.
• 59:12
  Speaker 3: You know what I mean.
• 59:12
  Speaker 1: Definitely, so it's like a whole, it's a whole thing, yeah, yeah.
• 59:18
  Speaker 2: For sure, for sure.
• 59:19
  Speaker 1: But I would like.
• 59:20
  Speaker 1: So what does, what does surrender mean to you and what does it look like to you?
• 59:24
  Speaker 1: Because I know like, especially like MG energy.
• 59:27
  Speaker 1: I feel like that's so hard to lean into.
• 59:31
  Speaker 2: Oh, for sure it is definitely is hard.
• 59:34
  Speaker 2: I feel like I'm able to lean into it because I've been working on it for so long that now I'm like, okay, you know, and to me surrender goes back to almost like breathwork, like those feelings that you get from doing breathwork right, those feelings that you get from breathing.
• 59:53
  Speaker 2: You're almost like, oh God, I feel so much coming out of this.
• 59:56
  Speaker 2: I feel like I'm purging so much, like, oh, my thighs are watering, oh, I'm crying.
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 2: You know, like you know, it's like it's that feeling of just releasing, you know, and it's like surrender is I don't even know exactly how to say it I always, always say surrender is like a leaf falling from a tree or like a feather right, you want to hang on to that tree.
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 2: For the like, when I hang on to your home, which is say, if you're a feather, that bird, right, that's fine, it's got, you, don't leave that.
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 2: But like, the moment you pluck off, all you can do is literally float, go in the wind and see where that goes.
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 2: You know, and I feel like that's the perfect representation for surrender.
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 2: I keep wanting to say surrender.
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 2: I'm mixing it up with like reverence because, like, I feel like I don't know, they can kind of go hand in hand.
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 2: That respect for life, respect for that divinity and surrender is just like allowing that divinity to flow through, but it's like being that feather, being that leaf.
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 2: You're falling right, you're essentially falling downwards and if you try to fight it, you're just going to keep trolling and keep spinning even faster than what you are right.
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 2: But if you allow yourself to just be open, like, okay, falling, let me just fall, let me just be here, right.
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 2: And then the wind blows when you go this way, or you may go this way or you may go this way, right, but you're allowing it to take you where you're meant to go.
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 2: You're not fighting anything, you're just being, you're just floating in the wind.
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 2: And I always tell people to follow the wind, listen to your heart, follow the wind, just go where it takes.
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 2: You have people, have a friend that's like struggling with what he wants to do in life and he's a lot younger.
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 2: So I was like yo, you have time, don't rush.
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 2: He's like, but he loves skateboarding.
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 2: He just he loves skateboarding all the time Like yo, that's something there.
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 2: You know, I was like you don't have to find anything right now, just be with that and let it take you right.
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 2: Just surrender into skateboarding, you know, just be that feather.
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 2: That flows wherever you're meant to go.
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 2: And I feel like that's what surrender is just flowing to everything that's meant to take you.
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 2: And I don't want to say like get confused with, oh okay, this person's telling me, do that, I'm going to do that, you know it's like because that discernment is still there, that awareness is still there.
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 2: But it's the difference between being like a people pleaser and doing that and feeling love for yourself and knowing that this is something higher that's taking me there, you know.
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 2: So I tell people be that feather, be the, be the leaf.
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 2: I have like a quote that says I feel my soul transforming from a rock to a feather, floating wherever the wind will go.
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 2: Right, and that's like me, that's like you as a human.
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 2: You want to stay here, you want to stay with what you know, you want to stay on the ground.
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 2: You don't want to lose your footing.
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 2: You don't want to like see something new.
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 2: You don't want to do that because you're used to this, you're comfortable.
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 2: It's like well, I can stay underneath the rock like Patrick.
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 2: You know I cannot say right here, right, but life is all about change, you know.
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 2: Life is all about growth, you know, and staying here, you're always going to have those thoughts of like oh, why am I not doing it now?
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 2: Why is this person?
• 1:03:32
  Speaker 2: You're always going to feel like that jealousy or that, you know, comparison into something else or someone else, right, like, oh, I'm not where I want to be and I'll.
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 2: You look everywhere else.
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 2: You look up, you look down, you look to the left, you look to the right.
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 2: You know, you look everywhere else except at yourself.
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 2: Right, transforming into a feather.
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 2: You're Basically like sculpting.
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 2: You know how like sculptors hit that, like the hammer, and they're just chipping away at the rock.
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 2: They just keep on chipping away at the rock.
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 2: You're chipping away at your own outer shell until everything falls off and you see where you're meant to be right, and a lot of times you're chipping away and then you trip yourself all the way into a feather or into this tree that's sprouting and all your leaves are falling off and taking you into different spaces.
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 2: And now you're like, well, like I'm just surrendering in life, I'm just surrendering to the river of life, and now I'm just going.
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 2: You know and I know that I'm not going anywhere.
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 2: I'm not supposed to go because I know that something greater is taking me there.
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 2: It's almost like you can't have surrender without trust.
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 2: You know it goes hand to hand and you can't let go without some inner you know, because part of letting go is trusting, part of letting go is surrendered to that.
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 1: So yeah, when you first started and you use the analogy of breathwork, I immediately went to the discomfort Right.
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 1: Because, like breath, because you have to go through that discomfort of like, oh my gosh, can I do this for another minute, can I do this for another 30 seconds?
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 1: And then it's that release of everything.
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 1: Do you feel like that discomfort is definitely part of the journey of surrendering?
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, absolutely, because no one wants to let go.
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 2: You know, no one wants to let go.
• 1:05:22
  Speaker 2: But letting go is part of that and it comes with a lot of discomfort, just like having that awareness when it comes to, like, all your things that you're attached to, like the drinking lifestyle, the parting lifestyle, right, we're so used to that you don't know anything else you know, and so addicted to this drug or this thing, the substance, that you don't know anything else, right.
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 2: And even whenever you're going through withdrawals, that's like that's the discomfort period and just like, if you allow yourself to feel that discomfort, you're right there to see what's on the other side.
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 2: You know, and a lot of times a lot of people feel that discomfort.
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 2: Even with breath work, they're like okay, and then like, if you notice, like I notice with people, if I'm showing their breath work, their breath will start to go shallow right before they start releasing.
• 1:06:11
  Speaker 2: That's why I, like you, kind of have to guide them, continue to guide them through it, otherwise they'll go from belly breathing to just like like that, like almost hyperventilating, because they start to feel these things and they start to close, right.
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 2: But you have to walk them through.
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 2: You know how do I remain open, how do I remain open-hearted and allow myself to feel these things, feel all the discomfort and what it's meant to tell me, so that way I can see the other side of this.
• 1:06:40
  Speaker 2: I can see the other side of the world and it's almost, it's always breathtaking, because, right whenever you don't think you can see on the other side of anything, you think there's no point, that's exactly whenever it hits you.
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 2: You're like wow, like wow, and it's not like anything crazy, like oh, I'm just a whole new person.
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 2: Now I'm going to cut out everything.
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 2: Go take it.
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 2: You know it's not that, but you start to get that awareness of oh, this is not as hard as I made it to be.
• 1:07:04
  Speaker 2: You know, now I can take another small step into becoming that feather.
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 2: You know, like I'm chipping away at these layers one by one and now, even though it hurts, even though it's very uncomfortable, even though it's very tender and everything hurts, right now I can't look at this person at all that I work with.
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 2: Otherwise I'm just going to break down, right, but I got to go into work and I got to see them, no matter what I'm feeling, and just get through it, right, like you got to go through that discomfort in order to see what's on the other side.
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 2: It's just a part of it and there's no way around it.
• 1:07:44
  Speaker 2: Unfortunately, I wish there was.
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 2: It would be a lot easier, right, but that's why life is meant to take you through these.
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's like I feel like we all know that there's beauty on the other side of surrender, but like that period where right before you do it, like even with alcohol.
• 1:08:02
  Speaker 1: so I'm like a little over four months sober now, but like that first month a lot of shadows came up, a lot right and it's like in those moments when shadows come up, you realize how much you lean on alcohol to numb the shadows that are coming up, so you don't have to face them.
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 1: So, like in actually facing them fully, it's really uncomfortable, you know, and it's like for me.
• 1:08:21
  Speaker 1: I just had to avoid, like all situations that would make me want to drink, because it would be so easy to like in my anxiety or in my nerves or whatever.
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 1: Just be like, oh yeah, it's fine, I'm just going to have a drink or whatever.
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 1: But like now, on the other side of it, now that I'm like past all of that, being able for me personally, being able to just like be me, is like beautiful, right, like I don't feel the pressure anymore, I don't feel I don't see myself making those bad decisions of like, you know, like knowing something's not aligned for me.
• 1:08:49
  Speaker 1: But now I'm like two, three glasses of wine deep and I'm like, ah, it's all right, it'll be fine, let's just do it, you know, then you're like the next day like, oh, that's not what I wanted to do.
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 1: I knew I shouldn't have done that, yeah, yeah.
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 1: So it's like I don't know.
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 1: It's really empowering and I'm not like I don't know if I'm going to be like sober forever, like I do genuinely love wine and I think there's something with like a beautiful meal and a glass of wine like another, like human being, you know, like I think that all like, but it's like just for me right now.
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 1: I think coming through, I think finding myself on this journey is needed so that when I if, if I do decide to include that back in again, I can come back to myself and be like no, no, no, you know where you're right.
• 1:09:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, exactly, yeah, it's similar to what's meant for you during this time period.
• 1:09:37
  Speaker 2: You know, and I feel like I'm always to tell people your hardest days, or even whenever, like those days, whenever it may be like California just recently went through all that rain like record breaking rainy season, mudslides everywhere, like I'm just like, I never thought it was never for Surinne in California, you know, and it's like complete opposite, it's been raining for two weeks, right, you know, like, but like, even then, though, like you have these days where you're just like nothing's working out, nothing's working out, and your thoughts have momentum.
• 1:10:08
  Speaker 2: As soon as you allow that one thought to stay there, everything else is going to keep pounding on top.
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 2: You know, but, and that's okay, you know, but it's like, when everything continues pounding on top, and you got, it seems like you got like five books on top of each other, right at the height of that, how can you smile?
• 1:10:28
  Speaker 2: You know, force yourself to smile, right, because smiling scientifically has such a big impact on your whole soul system, your whole like nervous system.
• 1:10:40
  Speaker 2: Everything, everything about your body changes just from making yourself smirk.
• 1:10:45
  Speaker 2: And that's like one scientific like fact that I've learned, that I've tried to utilize for myself, because those moments or those weeks, and ever like I'm just working, working, working like this last week I started the new job at an economics like personal training, right, but I'm still working at true food full time.
• 1:11:06
  Speaker 2: So I literally like wake up at six or seven, go to economics and since I'm doing the orientation for the first few weeks, like I'm there and then at four o'clock I clock out and I'll walk over to the training station and then I hop on the train, I go straight to true food and then I'm closing the bar or closing the restaurant at like 10, don't get back home until like 11, 1130, almost 12 sometimes, and then like okay, and I'm like, oh, I still didn't even do any laundry today that needed.
• 1:11:35
  Speaker 2: So then I'm like up trying to like finish that last laundry or like at least try to read or meditate before bed or something right, just to do that sofa work, and then next day I'm not going to bed till like 1 30 and I have to be up at six again, you know, and I did that last week and then by Friday I was just like, oh my God, you know, like this is so much.
• 1:11:53
  Speaker 2: But at the same time I'm like at the end of the day I smiled because it was like, you know, this is a lot.
• 1:12:00
  Speaker 2: But I just had to take a moment and like laugh at myself because it was the end of that week and I was literally at work.
• 1:12:06
  Speaker 2: Like if one more drink rings in right now, I'm going to snap a moment, throw it in their face.
• 1:12:12
  Speaker 2: Like you know, if someone else comes to this bar right now, I'm going to tell them to go home, just get out, right.
• 1:12:20
  Speaker 2: But like I got home that night and I just laughed at myself cause I was like, yeah, like this is everything I've been wanting to manifest.
• 1:12:29
  Speaker 2: Like I manifested having this job.
• 1:12:31
  Speaker 2: Like a month ago I was sitting right here and this is actually spot, putting myself in the exact situation of what it would be like walking in the clocking there, you know, and it's like this is everything that I asked for being in LA, being the spot still having this job, being the manager at this job, having this income, of money just flowing in from all these different avenues.
• 1:12:51
  Speaker 2: It's like this is everything that I asked for and I just had to like laugh at myself because, wow, this is, this is hard.
• 1:12:57
  Speaker 2: Now I'm like, wow, maybe I shouldn't have asked for so much, right, but it was like, at the same time, no, I'm so happy that I did it, because all of this is about to pay off very soon.
• 1:13:07
  Speaker 2: Everything I asked for is slowly trickling out to like the ripple effect and at the same time, I'm able to change so many lives because everything that I do is in the customer service industry.
• 1:13:18
  Speaker 2: It's like I get to work with humans, I get to work with souls, I get to make an impact on their lives.
• 1:13:22
  Speaker 2: No matter what I do, no matter what I create is going to be that, you know.
• 1:13:25
  Speaker 2: It's like that's everything that I wanted.
• 1:13:27
  Speaker 2: So it's like in your lowest moments, crack a smile and then everything else becomes lighter, becomes so lighter You're like, oh well, the world just lifts it up somehow, and then you slowly start to feel like you're not that rock anymore.
• 1:13:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, how do you find time for your practice in all of that?
• 1:13:53
  Speaker 2: I just lately, because I'm still like adjusting to this whole schedule right now.
• 1:14:00
  Speaker 2: I've always been on the go regardless, like even without this equal next job.
• 1:14:07
  Speaker 2: Now it's like it's an actual job to where it's like, okay, I'm having this structure.
• 1:14:10
  Speaker 2: But before, even whenever I was just doing true food, I was also like starting to do one on one coaching.
• 1:14:15
  Speaker 2: So it was like I was at true food and then there were one, one coaching and I'll be like added booking for modeling.
• 1:14:21
  Speaker 2: You know like all this would be packed into one day.
• 1:14:23
  Speaker 2: So it was like I got to make the time plan accordingly, make the time like find, know my day is going to be busy.
• 1:14:30
  Speaker 2: I'm like, okay, if I'm going to meditate 30 minutes, where am I going to do that?
• 1:14:35
  Speaker 2: Am I going to do it in the morning?
• 1:14:36
  Speaker 2: I was like, no, I may, maybe so tired that I may fall asleep during that and not over sleep, and I'll be like right now I can't do that.
• 1:14:42
  Speaker 2: So I was like, hmm, okay, well, I know I have this break.
• 1:14:44
  Speaker 2: I have a three hour break While I'm at equal knocks before I start like going into our meetings.
• 1:14:50
  Speaker 2: We have a three hour time spirit where I can break out and then have an hour for lunch and then have an hour just to myself.
• 1:14:57
  Speaker 2: It's like, okay, now the hour to myself.
• 1:15:00
  Speaker 2: Now, like today I can I went out on or not today, but yesterday, wait taste a minute.
• 1:15:07
  Speaker 2: Friday, sorry, I went in a it's a long weekend, but Friday, like, I woke up and I didn't I like stepped in because I was so tired, right.
• 1:15:21
  Speaker 2: But I woke up and I got there and then we had that hour to two hours where I was like, well, okay, this is a perfect time I can go out on the patio here and meditate, like, and that's exactly what I did.
• 1:15:34
  Speaker 2: I went out there for 30 minutes.
• 1:15:35
  Speaker 2: I was able to meditate, I was able to write, I was able to do all that, even if it's something like on the train, if I have no time whatsoever, if I like over sleep or anything like that because I'm not the best morning person in the world, but I'm solely transitioning to, like stepping into that part of myself and understanding myself in the morning, because I used to be that person like, oh, snooze, snooze, snooze, snooze, and then wake up and, as you know, like I was there and Dallas I get the true food like an hour late and everyone knew I was going to be late.
• 1:16:07
  Speaker 2: Hey guys, oh God, okay, yeah, we're waiting for you, greg, like you know, but I don't want to be that anymore, right, and so, like, even whenever I don't wake up at the time I want to, and like everything's crammed in, I'm like rushing around, I'll go, I'll call my lift to work or I'll hop on the train or bus and I'll have my headphones in and I'll put on a five minute, get the item meditation and I'll sit there literally on the bus, on the train, and do that and then afterwards I'll write my gratitude and then I'll get off and go to work.
• 1:16:37
  Speaker 2: Like it's making those little spaces in between your day, and always help people whenever, like your first, meditating, because it takes a lot, whenever it is someone that's never done the several work before, right, and they're like I can't, I just cannot sit down for that long.
• 1:16:53
  Speaker 2: There's no, there's no, I gotta do that, I gotta do it.
• 1:16:56
  Speaker 2: And like, especially here and they're like people are always gonna go more than I am Right.
• 1:17:00
  Speaker 2: So it's like, no, don't even worry about that Like, take three minutes, take a pause and then take a few deep breaths and then go about your day.
• 1:17:10
  Speaker 2: You know, like that's all it takes is just making a pause moment for yourself and that has all the difference all your entire day, even if I miss my whole morning ritual, like before I walk in and work at truth food, I'm like, okay, we just take a moment to myself.
• 1:17:26
  Speaker 2: Well, I was going to bathroom, let me just breathe, take three breaths since myself having attention, and I step out, into, step out of the bathroom and it's like I'm in a whole new space, I'm in a whole new day because I took that time, I took that pause.
• 1:17:39
  Speaker 2: All you need is a simple pause.
• 1:17:41
  Speaker 2: It doesn't have to be 10 minutes and have between us, has to be 30 minutes to an hour.
• 1:17:44
  Speaker 2: No, you can have literally three minutes or less.
• 1:17:47
  Speaker 2: You have 30 seconds of just grounding yourself and then you're like, whoa, okay, oh, okay.
• 1:17:56
  Speaker 2: All that stress is when I'm like it's a way better day.
• 1:17:58
  Speaker 2: You know like you're able to make the time for yourself.
• 1:18:02
  Speaker 2: You just have to be, you have to have to wear this for it, and then you have to be serious about that work for yourself.
• 1:18:10
  Speaker 2: You know you have to show up for yourself at the end.
• 1:18:13
  Speaker 2: You just got to show it for yourself because if you're just on the go all the time, your body will slowly start deteriorating and you will come up with injuries, you'll come up with sicknesses, you'll come up with all these things going inside your body and you won't have any clue how it all happened.
• 1:18:27
  Speaker 2: And then you realize I've been struggling with this for months because I haven't made any time for myself.
• 1:18:31
  Speaker 2: You know like, I've been there, I've had injuries because I was constantly on the go and I'm making the time for myself and all of a sudden I will go one day and I was like, oh, this doesn't feel right.
• 1:18:41
  Speaker 2: Right here, I can't breathe.
• 1:18:42
  Speaker 2: You know like.
• 1:18:42
  Speaker 2: And I was like wow, I have a good breath.
• 1:18:44
  Speaker 2: Work in a minute, you know.
• 1:18:45
  Speaker 2: So yeah.
• 1:18:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, before 2020,.
• 1:18:49
  Speaker 1: I feel like my meditation practice was like here and there, like maybe once a week, or like I would miss like a couple months and then do it here and there, and it was always like I'd sit the timer for five minutes and I'd be like, oh, you know, like when is it going to end?
• 1:19:00
  Speaker 3: But then like something about 2020.
• 1:19:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I found like a spiritual teacher during that time and we were doing like pre-analyzing meditations which were like 30, 45 minutes.
• 1:19:08
  Speaker 1: So it was like I learned a lot from him and just like the idea of, like you know, meditation is sort of like when you're doing a sitting meditation.
• 1:19:16
  Speaker 1: It's very masculine, yes, but it's also about like controlling your body, right.
• 1:19:19
  Speaker 1: So I feel like if you can sit through like the discomfort and kind of like control, in that sense it becomes a little bit easier.
• 1:19:25
  Speaker 1: And also I feel like just embodying it in your everyday, right.
• 1:19:30
  Speaker 1: Like you said, noticing and it comes from awareness too, but like noticing when my thoughts are off or where my emotions are off or I have that like tightness and just being able to like I like I do what you do to you.
• 1:19:40
  Speaker 1: Like the smiling, sometimes they'll just be like in a situation where I'm like so frustrated and I'm like just smile, just smile like pretend you know, because it's like it has an effect on some level.
• 1:19:55
  Speaker 1: But there is like yeah, and I think like gratitude, right being like I'm grateful to be here, I'm grateful you making money, I'm grateful to be.
• 1:20:01
  Speaker 1: Whatever the situation is, I like flip it over and I'm like I'm grateful to be having this experience, to learn from it, you know.
• 1:20:06
  Speaker 1: But I do like I really value that time of coming to myself.
• 1:20:12
  Speaker 1: For me it's usually at night.
• 1:20:12
  Speaker 1: I like I tried to do it this morning, same thing.
• 1:20:14
  Speaker 1: I woke up, I snooze my alarm and I was like but I was like kind of awake, so it's like okay, I know that this is that theta brainwaste state too.
• 1:20:20
  Speaker 1: This is like perfect for re rewire the subconscious.
• 1:20:23
  Speaker 3: So I was trying to like loop, loop and affirmation.
• 1:20:25
  Speaker 1: I was like I'm whole, I'm authentic and whatever.
• 1:20:28
  Speaker 1: But like I like really value that time of like coming now.
• 1:20:31
  Speaker 1: It's like usually like a 30 minute, it's not all sitting in like one spot, but it's like just having that practice of like now I know what it feels like when I tap in.
• 1:20:40
  Speaker 1: You know like beyond myself and like calling that in and then, yeah, it's just like a beautiful process because I'm still like discerning, so my mind's really fast, right, and so like I'm working with somebody right now to really like work on my psychic skills, and so it's like I feel like I understand it, but like I'm like she literally made a comment today.
• 1:21:02
  Speaker 1: She's like your mind is so quick and I'm like I feel like that's.
• 1:21:04
  Speaker 1: I feel like that's where I struggle, Because it's like I have the download, but real quick my mind is like, oh wait, you know, or like was that me or was that something else beyond me?
• 1:21:12
  Speaker 1: So I'm like really working on, just like coming to that space in meditation where I really feel and know that I'm tapped into something beyond myself and then just like trusting what flows through.
• 1:21:22
  Speaker 1: But but it's a it's a long journey.
• 1:21:25
  Speaker 1: You know, like I've been doing my own meditation practice for, yeah, almost six years now, right, and it's like only in the last three years have I actually took me three years to make it like a daily, consistent showing up for myself, and I don't think it has to take that long for everybody.
• 1:21:40
  Speaker 1: But it's like just being consistent, and even if it's just a minute, right, two minutes 30 seconds, you're feeling frustrated to go to the bathroom and breathe, right.
• 1:21:48
  Speaker 1: It's just these little things that I think attune you with your own bodies, that you can notice when you're out of whack, because now, like, if I go, like if I've been going like two days without meditation, I feel it, yeah, like it's like I crave it to come back to that space.
• 1:22:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly Exactly.
• 1:22:05
  Speaker 2: And it's speaking of like whenever you're first, and now like those five minutes.
• 1:22:09
  Speaker 2: Whenever you first start a practice like that, your body goes crazy.
• 1:22:14
  Speaker 2: Like I remember, whenever I was first sitting down, even for five minutes, my leg will start twitching.
• 1:22:19
  Speaker 2: I was like, oh God, I need to move, you know.
• 1:22:21
  Speaker 2: Or like my mouth is twitching, I was like, oh, I'm gonna itch, you know, like I was starting scratching.
• 1:22:27
  Speaker 2: Oh, why am I eating so much?
• 1:22:28
  Speaker 3: now.
• 1:22:29
  Speaker 2: You know, it was like your body.
• 1:22:30
  Speaker 3: Your body is yelling at you.
• 1:22:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, it's like I don't want to sit still, I don't want to sit still.
• 1:22:35
  Speaker 2: You know, just like making yourself do it and constantly making yourself like, okay, I did five minutes today, I'm gonna do five minutes tomorrow.
• 1:22:45
  Speaker 2: And then, like you know, by the next day, like, okay, let me try six minutes.
• 1:22:48
  Speaker 2: You know, it's like that kind of good.
• 1:22:50
  Speaker 2: You start to notice how quiet your body becomes.
• 1:22:53
  Speaker 2: You start to notice how much you tune in.
• 1:22:55
  Speaker 2: You start to notice how much your thoughts quiet down.
• 1:22:58
  Speaker 2: You know and it's always some people with meditation it's not the absence of thought, it's the awareness of thought, it's the space in between the thoughts.
• 1:23:09
  Speaker 2: That's the stillness.
• 1:23:10
  Speaker 2: It's not knows that at all because, like I said, thoughts happen to us.
• 1:23:14
  Speaker 2: We can't control that, you know.
• 1:23:16
  Speaker 2: But the key is the space in between the thought.
• 1:23:20
  Speaker 2: Right, the key is being able to look at the thought without your body reacting to it.
• 1:23:26
  Speaker 2: You know your emotions reacting to it.
• 1:23:28
  Speaker 2: You're in an observer state.
• 1:23:30
  Speaker 2: You're witnessing everything.
• 1:23:32
  Speaker 2: You're witnessing your body, you're witnessing your mind work as you're sitting there in that one spot.
• 1:23:38
  Speaker 2: You know, and it's like how can you do that?
• 1:23:41
  Speaker 2: Are you able to do that?
• 1:23:42
  Speaker 2: Are you making the time for yourself?
• 1:23:43
  Speaker 2: Are you showing up for yourself?
• 1:23:45
  Speaker 2: You know, are you doing the work consistently?
• 1:23:48
  Speaker 2: So that way it gets easier whenever you are doing those things.
• 1:23:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and I think like the reason the body gets so loud is because we don't listen to it like ever.
• 1:23:59
  Speaker 1: Right, we're always overriding what our body is telling us, and so when you actually come to that space and yet, itching your sore, you feel like a back, like a tingling or whatever it's like for me in my practice.
• 1:24:08
  Speaker 1: I like tune into, like that and actually be like what do you want to tell me, like what is it Right?
• 1:24:13
  Speaker 1: And then I feel like giving it that attention and then paying attention to it throughout the walk.
• 1:24:17
  Speaker 1: You know my waking day where it's like maybe I feel something in my knee or my back and it's like okay, instead of just like ignoring it and pushing through it.
• 1:24:24
  Speaker 1: It's like taking a minute to be like okay, that's interesting.
• 1:24:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah, even if you don't do anything with it.
• 1:24:29
  Speaker 1: It's just like the fact of being like oh, my knee hurts, Okay, yeah.
• 1:24:33
  Speaker 3: We send some energy to my knee real quick.
• 1:24:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, get all in my day but yeah, but then I think, but then it does like, the body tends to like fall in line.
• 1:24:41
  Speaker 1: Then, because I think it is being heard more right, and so then it's like your body will take if you take care of your body, your body will take care of you.
• 1:24:47
  Speaker 1: And I don't know, I heard this, I this.
• 1:24:51
  Speaker 1: I don't know where I first heard it, but I've heard it a few times.
• 1:24:53
  Speaker 1: I think I read it in a book, but it was like we think of like our, our soul being housed inside the body.
• 1:25:00
  Speaker 1: But it's not right.
• 1:25:01
  Speaker 1: Our soul actually housed the body, and so it's like when you think of it in that way, it's just like I don't know, it's beautiful, but we have to we have to honor it too, I think.
• 1:25:13
  Speaker 1: I don't know, it's just, I'm always as big on body because I just think we we neglect it so badly and it like runs and yet it still runs so beautifully for us.
• 1:25:22
  Speaker 1: And you know, I see people who are just like pouring toxins into their body, on their body, and yet they're like so psychically attuned and it's just like damn.
• 1:25:30
  Speaker 1: Can you imagine your absolute power if you got your body behind that too?
• 1:25:35
  Speaker 2: You know exactly Exactly.
• 1:25:36
  Speaker 2: That's one of the reasons why I even took this job of well I equinox to be a person trainer, because I feel like I've done so much so work.
• 1:25:44
  Speaker 2: I've done so much mental work, you know, like even being a CBT, like practitioner and like certified in that and like cognitive behavior and like just really that therapy of the whole mind and mindfulness, like I've done so much work on that in the past few years, but I've never known exactly what was going on inside my body unless I did the research for it and that's how, like really paid attention to it, and so like I feel like this opportunity came and it's like, yeah, like they're offering me all these things.
• 1:26:15
  Speaker 2: They're offering me like even nutrition school, and they were like reimburse me and all these things.
• 1:26:19
  Speaker 2: Like I feel like this is the universe's way of like, okay, you focus on your mind.
• 1:26:24
  Speaker 2: For so long You've done so much so work.
• 1:26:25
  Speaker 2: Now let's really connect.
• 1:26:27
  Speaker 2: Everything was going to your body.
• 1:26:30
  Speaker 2: So now this opportunity is here so I can learn everything about that, what goes on inside the body.
• 1:26:35
  Speaker 2: It's like I'm learning about your heart rate.
• 1:26:37
  Speaker 2: I'm learning about, like, the beats per minute.
• 1:26:40
  Speaker 2: I'm learning about blood pressure, like I'm learning all these things.
• 1:26:43
  Speaker 2: And then it ties into nutrition and everything I'm eating and that's one thing, like I'm grateful for true food because, like all their foods are so healthy, right, and you get to run down on everything that's going on with the food and like exactly what's in it and then how it correlates with your body and now I'm able to tie it all in together like, okay, well, if I do this part of my mind or in this part of my soul, and then, like my body is feeling this, and then I'm like even this, like oh okay, I see, I'm seeing how it all correlates together in the Graham Schema things that I'm just like whoa, I see.
• 1:27:13
  Speaker 2: And then just kind of funny, Okay, I see what you're doing, I see what you're doing, universe, I see what you're doing, like cool.
• 1:27:20
  Speaker 2: And it's like I learned recently, there's like over 200 muscles working whenever you're squatting.
• 1:27:27
  Speaker 2: And that's just crazy.
• 1:27:28
  Speaker 2: I was thought I would just go on like I just be squatting my legs, you know, like I'm not feeling my back a little bit, but that was it.
• 1:27:33
  Speaker 2: But literally every part of your body is working whenever you're squatting.
• 1:27:37
  Speaker 2: I had no idea.
• 1:27:40
  Speaker 2: You know it's like there's all these things that correlate with your body and like your glutes are almost like the main part of what your body needs in order to fully function.
• 1:27:56
  Speaker 2: Same with your abs, like a lot of that right here controls how your body moves, your posture.
• 1:28:02
  Speaker 2: You know the way you walk, the way you turn, the way you sit.
• 1:28:05
  Speaker 1: Like is all this like this.
• 1:28:06
  Speaker 1: Have you ever had abdominal surgery?
• 1:28:10
  Speaker 2: No.
• 1:28:11
  Speaker 1: You like, I did not realize how much my abs affected every movement of my body until I could not use them and I was like shit, I can't move, Like at all.
• 1:28:23
  Speaker 1: Oh my God, yeah.
• 1:28:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's crazy, yeah, so you know first hand.
• 1:28:27
  Speaker 2: You know first hand.
• 1:28:28
  Speaker 2: I've been learning about it.
• 1:28:30
  Speaker 2: I was like, oh, like that's insane.
• 1:28:32
  Speaker 2: Like I've always focused on my abs because I like the way they look, you know, but like I never realized how important they actually are.
• 1:28:39
  Speaker 2: But now that I'm here, it's like okay, now I can actually tie so much in and like I'm one step closer into making.
• 1:28:47
  Speaker 2: You know, having my own business, having my own work schedule, being my own boss, because I've been taking these jobs and even though there's days where I'm like I don't want to be here, I don't like the stuff I'm learning so much from doing it.
• 1:29:00
  Speaker 2: And the jobs that I'm working now they're all by choice, they're all things that I've manifested into my life.
• 1:29:06
  Speaker 2: That's why I'm so happy to wake up and actually go there and then, like, get home at 12 and be like, oh, it's been a long day, but you know what?
• 1:29:14
  Speaker 2: That's fucking awesome.
• 1:29:15
  Speaker 2: Like you know, I'm like oh this, you know, it's so great because I get to work now.
• 1:29:19
  Speaker 2: And it's like, oh, like, people are asking me, like about my body now, because they're seeing how much more I'm getting in the gym.
• 1:29:24
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, oh yeah, what are you eating now?
• 1:29:25
  Speaker 2: I was like, bro, if you look at this on the menu, this is this.
• 1:29:28
  Speaker 2: And like now, of course they survived because this is this.
• 1:29:30
  Speaker 2: And then like, actually, if you want to walk tomorrow, then you realize all those nutrients are going to good use and your legs are going to start growing and, like you know, it's like I'll just ties in now and it's like one thing after another.
• 1:29:40
  Speaker 2: I'm just like, wow, this is crazy, you know, yeah, yeah.
• 1:29:46
  Speaker 1: Was there anything that we like did not cover that you're feeling really called to talk about, that you want to express to people.
• 1:29:56
  Speaker 2: I would say I don't know.
• 1:29:58
  Speaker 2: I feel like we we covered a lot, I would say, when it comes to manifestation, work and I'm really big on this.
• 1:30:08
  Speaker 2: If there's anything that you want in life, anything you don't want in your life, get alone with yourself, write those things out.
• 1:30:16
  Speaker 2: And whenever you do write them out, you don't even have to go into meditation, like, oh okay, let me see all these things out.
• 1:30:23
  Speaker 2: You can literally write everything out, everything you want to release, everything you want to have in your life.
• 1:30:27
  Speaker 2: Leave the journal open and just place your hands over the writing and just take a few deep breaths and like, let it go from there.
• 1:30:34
  Speaker 2: You know trust that these things are going to happen, because it's such an intention, and every day have those there.
• 1:30:42
  Speaker 2: Like, take a look at that journal.
• 1:30:44
  Speaker 2: Every week I write down my goals.
• 1:30:47
  Speaker 2: I've been doing this for years and I set them as my wallpaper.
• 1:30:50
  Speaker 2: Every Sunday I write down well, listen to my goals for the week, from personal to everything I'm doing, business wise, to the people I'm going to network with.
• 1:31:00
  Speaker 2: And then at the very bottom, I have my soulful intentions for basically like my affirmations throughout the week and from there I set it as my wallpaper and every single day I look at those things, you know, and it's like it's different than a to-do list, because to-do list you're so set on like, oh, I need to get these things done.
• 1:31:21
  Speaker 2: You get these things done, but whenever you have a set goal and you have these manifestations that you want, you're just calling those in.
• 1:31:29
  Speaker 2: You know whether it's your consciously or it becomes subconsciously because you do it so much, you do it so often that, like now, you're just living in it, you know, and then these things just start happening one by one.
• 1:31:40
  Speaker 2: That's one thing that being here, I showed me because I've been doing these for years, but being here, these things are happening like this, like every week something's gonna happen, like well, I just wrote about this last week, you know.
• 1:31:54
  Speaker 2: So yeah, and one of the, I wanted to share my four, like I want to.
• 1:32:04
  Speaker 2: I call it the four A's now and I plan on as I start like I'm currently looking for a studio space out here to start actually coaching these things because they've been so beneficial in my life.
• 1:32:16
  Speaker 2: And it's the four A's, is what I call it, and it's abundance, authenticity, acceptance and appreciation.
• 1:32:24
  Speaker 2: Those four things within the last two years have shifted my life so much and I focus on each one like they're my morning meditations or my daily meditations.
• 1:32:35
  Speaker 2: I say I am abundance, I am acceptance, I am authenticity, and then I am appreciation itself.
• 1:32:43
  Speaker 2: And then by having these affirmations like that and you know how to be that specific you can be prosperity, you can be love, you can be wealth.
• 1:32:48
  Speaker 2: You know it can be all these different things.
• 1:32:51
  Speaker 2: But embodying those things to the fullest where you feel it in your body, you feel it in your daily life, you envision it in your daily life, you envision it in your bank account.
• 1:33:03
  Speaker 2: You're smelling it, you're feeling, you know you're living it and these things will start to come into your life.
• 1:33:10
  Speaker 2: You start to feel more than to your more authentic.
• 1:33:11
  Speaker 2: You're doing things.
• 1:33:12
  Speaker 2: You may have a job where you're supposed to do things a certain way, but now you're noticing like, oh, I have my own authentic structure about it.
• 1:33:21
  Speaker 2: Now you may be resisting a lot of things, but now you notice that you're starting to accept a lot more the lowest MIs abundance.
• 1:33:33
  Speaker 2: You may have a scarce mindset, but with abundance you're starting to realize how much you actually have in your life, because the gratitude is there now and it goes into the appreciation too.
• 1:33:44
  Speaker 2: Like all four of those things, I'm even thinking about writing a book about it eventually, but not yet.
• 1:33:48
  Speaker 2: Not yet Currently working on another poetry book too, and I mentioned those four Hayes in there.
• 1:33:55
  Speaker 2: But yeah, that's something that I want to leave wherever it listens with, because it's extremely beneficial whenever you take the time to really allow those things and all that you want to settle in and all that you want to release to settle in and just know that you're not alone with the stuff you're going through, even if you're going through a worse year of your life already, like you're not alone because there's people all over the world going through things.
• 1:34:23
  Speaker 2: But you got to find what works for you and you got to come right home to yourself and just know that you're never alone because your guides are always with you.
• 1:34:31
  Speaker 2: There's always something higher that's guiding you in the exact moment you're in, and so just trust that, surrender to it and be a feather.
• 1:34:39
  Speaker 3: I love that.
• 1:34:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:34:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I love it yeah.
• 1:34:46
  Speaker 1: And if you want to just let everyone know where they can find you, how they can work with you.
• 1:34:50
  Speaker 1: I will, of course, have everything in the show notes, but yeah, yeah, absolutely, you can.
• 1:34:55
  Speaker 2: Really the number one way to find me it's on Instagram.
• 1:34:58
  Speaker 2: You can follow me at g-underscore peoples or even I'm still working on.
• 1:35:05
  Speaker 2: I'm not even very good at social media.
• 1:35:07
  Speaker 2: I'm trying to get better at it, but I'm like I want to go so much.
• 1:35:11
  Speaker 2: I'm like I don't even I'm trying to be better at scheduling the time for it.
• 1:35:15
  Speaker 1: You're amazing at making videos, so yeah, yeah, that's what I'm saying.
• 1:35:19
  Speaker 2: Like the video work is there, like all the tools that I have, so many tools that use, and it's like so easy to do, but it also takes a lot of time too, and I'm just like, yeah, with everything right now, I'm trying to find the time to actually make it into content, as well as in my real life too, and right now there's a lot of things going on in my real life.
• 1:35:40
  Speaker 2: It's like, okay, how do I wrap all this into content now?
• 1:35:43
  Speaker 2: But, yeah, so you can follow me on gmsquare peoples or you can follow my wellness page, and it's from G to U, but it's also in my bio on my Instagram and, yeah, you can DM me whenever we can have sessions.
• 1:35:59
  Speaker 2: We can do Zoom, we can do FaceTime.
• 1:36:01
  Speaker 2: It doesn't matter where you are.
• 1:36:02
  Speaker 2: If you're in California, in LA, definitely come and see me, either at True Food or Equinox, anywhere.
• 1:36:10
  Speaker 2: I'm always out, especially this summertime.
• 1:36:12
  Speaker 2: I want to have all types of events out on the beach.
• 1:36:14
  Speaker 2: I can't wait.
• 1:36:15
  Speaker 2: I'm so excited.
• 1:36:16
  Speaker 2: I'll wait for you.
• 1:36:17
  Speaker 2: I'm sure I'll come back here.
• 1:36:19
  Speaker 1: Christian wants to come, he asked me.
• 1:36:20
  Speaker 1: He was like can we go to LA for my birthday?
• 1:36:25
  Speaker 2: What is his birthday?
• 1:36:27
  Speaker 1: July 1st.
• 1:36:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yes, yeah, I know.
• 1:36:31
  Speaker 1: Well, first he asked me to go somewhere.
• 1:36:33
  Speaker 1: I don't even remember what was like Australia or something.
• 1:36:35
  Speaker 1: I'm like not this year.
• 1:36:36
  Speaker 1: Where else do you want to go?
• 1:36:40
  Speaker 2: That's so funny.
• 1:36:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, you're like the number one fan.
• 1:36:43
  Speaker 1: You get him in the studio with you.
• 1:36:45
  Speaker 1: I don't know what he'd do.
• 1:36:45
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, I feel like I'm doing now that I have his little studio on my phone.
• 1:36:51
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna be making some music, but by that time, by summer, I'm manifesting, having a new place, way bigger, and a new studio set up too an actual studio set up, so he can go crazy, oh my gosh.
• 1:37:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, we'll definitely make time for all of that, for sure, yeah, for sure.
• 1:37:17
  Speaker 1: Well, thank you so much for coming on and having this conversation and sharing everything with the listeners.
• 1:37:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, thank you.
• 1:37:25
  Speaker 2: Thank you for having me and you're doing such good work.
• 1:37:27
  Speaker 2: I tell you this all the time I listen to your podcast but, like you're doing such great work on here and I love to see it and the amount of growth that you've been having through all the people that are like you're bringing on even Gianna like I was listening to that one earlier today and that's such a good episode and even like all your other listeners, I've learned so much from your other listeners too, and it's just I mean not your other listeners, your other guest, but your other guest and you're just doing such a good job, so keep going, appreciate it so much.
• 1:38:02
  Speaker 1: I know that one time I was like feeling low or something about it and you were just like but you're like, you're doing it, your podcast is out there, whether they listen to it now or in five years, you know, yeah, yeah, right, and I feel like that was so long ago and like now, like you know, I'm pretty.
• 1:38:16
  Speaker 2: You're like um, trying to figure out how to get all these guests on, and now it's like it's happening.
• 1:38:20
  Speaker 2: You're gonna get a guest after you know, and I just love that so much.
• 1:38:24
  Speaker 2: It's very inspiring.
• 1:38:26
  Speaker 2: I'm learning so much from you every time we talk, so just know that you're definitely where you're meant to be for sure.
• 1:38:35
  Speaker 1: Thank you, and same to you.
• 1:38:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, thank you.
• 1:38:38
  Speaker 2: Thank you, I love you so much.
• 1:39:02
  Speaker 3: And the stars started shooting.
• 1:39:04
  Speaker 3: I didn't need to make a wish.
• 1:39:05
  Speaker 3: You're already in my arms.
• 1:39:06
  Speaker 3: How much better could it get?
• 1:39:07
  Speaker 3: When one minute we touch lips, it looks you as we just forget.
• 1:39:10
  Speaker 3: If I can go back to that second, I wish it never would end.
• 1:39:13
  Speaker 3: Maybe it happened for a reason.
• 1:39:14
  Speaker 3: I can try to play pretend, but that's my life, transcends Unlock.
• 1:39:17
  Speaker 3: When you are in my bed and my life is now exploding, got my dreams.
• 1:39:20
  Speaker 3: I'm manifesting.
• 1:39:21
  Speaker 3: I'm just partnered with my niggas.
• 1:39:23
  Speaker 3: Double link I'm with investing.
• 1:39:24
  Speaker 3: I discovered wings.
• 1:39:25
  Speaker 3: All those nights I stayed up stressing.
• 1:39:27
  Speaker 3: Now I'm soaring in the sky, feeling God and counting business like one for you and one for me, plus more to spread love.
• 1:39:32
  Speaker 3: Why should pain dissipate by just one touch?
• 1:39:35
  Speaker 3: So when I feel these words, I'll write them with love.
• 1:39:37
  Speaker 3: Why should pain dissipate by just one touch?
• 1:39:40
  Speaker 3: Now I'm just so high, high, high, high of my own life.
• 1:39:47
  Speaker 3: I can touch the sky.
• 1:39:52
  Speaker 3: I'm high, high, high, high With Cal.
• 1:40:06
  Speaker 3: He's saying change those goals.
• 1:40:07
  Speaker 3: I tell like no, stay patient, watch our dreams unfold.
• 1:40:10
  Speaker 3: Now I'm back up on a road Right a verse like I'm the goal.
• 1:40:13
  Speaker 3: Of praise to Allah and let the truth be.
• 1:40:16
  Speaker 3: I spoiled each one of my parents before they all grow old, cause I really wouldn't be here if it wasn't for them.
• 1:40:21
  Speaker 3: You see, my blood is the ink I use my heart as a pen.
• 1:40:24
  Speaker 3: Now, all my brothers, I grew up with that's blood.
• 1:40:26
  Speaker 3: You've been a fuck with.
• 1:40:27
  Speaker 3: You know I would love love.
• 1:40:28
  Speaker 3: Since the dropout was so published, my love blowing up is the family or nothing.
• 1:40:32
  Speaker 3: We knocked down with fuck shit, but see it's going up.
• 1:40:35
  Speaker 3: We're at high Past the skies.
• 1:40:36
  Speaker 3: See the life that's in our eyes.
• 1:40:37
  Speaker 3: Don't be afraid, there's no surprise.
• 1:40:39
  Speaker 3: Be yourself, it's only right.
• 1:40:40
  Speaker 3: We're at high Past, the sky.
• 1:40:42
  Speaker 3: Close your eyes and feel alive.
• 1:40:42
  Speaker 3: We wind up with no surprise if you see this whole entire world.