Latest / Two Personal with Joy Taylor / Meditation, Emotional Intelligence & Why We Feel So Disconnected | Joy Taylor & Rosie Acosta

Transcript

Meditation, Emotional Intelligence & Why We Feel So Disconnected | Joy Taylor & Rosie Acosta · Two Personal with Joy Taylor

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  Speaker 1: I didn't like closing my eyes because I'd been through
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  Speaker 1: very traumatic experiences, so I kept my eyes open and
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  Speaker 1: I would just like focus on.
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  Speaker 2: Welcome Too Personal. My next guest. Guest grew up in
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  Speaker 2: East LA. She has had an incredible journey and an
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  Speaker 2: amazing story that she shared many times. But if you
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  Speaker 2: are just getting acquainted with Rosie Acosta, she is an
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  Speaker 2: amazing person. I'm so excited to have you in here.
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  Speaker 2: She is the author of You Are Radically Loved. She
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  Speaker 2: is a headspace guru, and she's built an entire life
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  Speaker 2: and career and brand, if I might say, on teaching
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  Speaker 2: people how to heal and actually knows the cost of
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  Speaker 2: that as well and everything in between. So Rosie, Welcome
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  Speaker 2: Too Personal. Thanks for coming down. Oh my god, this
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  Speaker 2: is so amazing. Thank you for having me.
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  Speaker 1: Thanks, it's been it's been a while. It's a long
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  Speaker 1: while I think I had you. I mean the first
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  Speaker 1: it's been like almost ten years.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, we've known you long time. Yeah, first, how are you?
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  Speaker 2: How is everything? Like? Twenty twenty six has been a
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  Speaker 2: crazy year. Twenty twenty five was a fucking awful year. Yeah,
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  Speaker 2: we're we're all just you know.
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  Speaker 1: So im paddling our way through the existence. Right now,
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  Speaker 1: I'm floating on my back right now.
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  Speaker 2: That's nice. That's nice, Alicia. You know you're looking up.
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  Speaker 2: How is everything?
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  Speaker 1: It's good?
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  Speaker 2: Yeah?
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  Speaker 1: I think you know you you have two options. It's
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  Speaker 1: either not good or it's good. You know which which one.
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  Speaker 1: It's so funny when people meet me or they you know,
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  Speaker 1: see my content or they see me from the outside.
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  Speaker 1: They always I like to hear what people think. You know.
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  Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, what drew you to my content or
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  Speaker 1: what allowed you to connect with me? And people always say, oh,
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  Speaker 1: you're just like you're so positive, You're such an optimist,
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  Speaker 1: And I'm like, I'm not so not an optimust I
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  Speaker 1: was so not so I think it takes work for
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  Speaker 1: me to really focus on the things that I'm grateful
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  Speaker 1: for and the things that are going well, you know,
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  Speaker 1: because I mean, what is the other option? You know? Well,
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  Speaker 1: I will.
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  Speaker 2: Say, knowing you and knowing your content, you have an
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  Speaker 2: excellent voice and a great delivery, So I do see
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  Speaker 2: why people And you know, your content is about healing
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  Speaker 2: and you know all those things. So like, I see
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  Speaker 2: why people would think that you're an optimistic person. But
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  Speaker 2: do you think that you are not optimistic because you
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  Speaker 2: really feel.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like, I mean, look, I know the
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  Speaker 1: reality of the world, you know, and it's I'm such
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  Speaker 1: an empathetic person and I still do so much like
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  Speaker 1: volunteer work, and I still work with a lot of
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  Speaker 1: the people that you know, I grew up with, and
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  Speaker 1: I just like know the reality of the world. And
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  Speaker 1: I even though I can have this really beautiful, amazing,
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  Speaker 1: super blessed life, like, I'm still a you know, I'm
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  Speaker 1: just like, yeah, but not everybody's living this life right now,
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  Speaker 1: you know. So I think in a way it helps
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  Speaker 1: keep me engaged in helping, like in a real way,
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  Speaker 1: not just in a performative type of way. But it
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  Speaker 1: also just makes me feel like I've lived my life
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  Speaker 1: in such a way that I practice what I preach,
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  Speaker 1: you know, because I feel like, for me, it's it's
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  Speaker 1: the only way that I find fulfillment. Yeah, do you.
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  Speaker 2: Because you're an EmPATH and because there's so much fucked
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  Speaker 2: up shit going on, do you feel like that weighs
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  Speaker 2: on you? Because I have found and I've actually gotten
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  Speaker 2: this note from my therapist, and I certainly get it
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  Speaker 2: from my friends all the time. They're like you gotta unplug,
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  Speaker 2: You've gotta, you know, step outside, you've gotta take care
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  Speaker 2: of yourself, like you're you're inundating yourself with all the
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  Speaker 2: horrors of the world, and it's you're not meant to
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  Speaker 2: know that much. And in some ways I do agree
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  Speaker 2: with them, And I don't know if I'm an EmPATH
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  Speaker 2: in so much that I'm like, fuck the patriarchy. But
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  Speaker 2: I do find like I'm deeply conflicted because part of
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  Speaker 2: me is like the people in the world in history
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  Speaker 2: that have made radical change were obsessed with it, Like
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  Speaker 2: you can't be lukewarm about it.
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  Speaker 1: So how do you feel about that? Yeah, it's interesting
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  Speaker 1: that you say that I agree with the people in
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  Speaker 1: your life who are saying to unplug and how important
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  Speaker 1: that is. I'm with you, and I don't know if
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  Speaker 1: you know that I went back to get my master's
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  Speaker 1: in clinical psychology, so I'm in the middle of doing
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  Speaker 1: my clinical work right now, so I'm seeing patient clients,
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  Speaker 1: people that you know, I wouldn't normally interact with with
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  Speaker 1: my career. You know, it's like I have a full
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  Speaker 1: on career and I'm also back in school. But I
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  Speaker 1: feel like for me being in that world and being
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  Speaker 1: in let's call it the plugged in world. There is
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  Speaker 1: a huge cognitive dissonance, I think, and it can get
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  Speaker 1: too overwhelming. We are absolutely not cognitively built to consume
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  Speaker 1: as much information as we do, like our brain can.
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  Speaker 1: We're not a computer. I mean, it is the mind.
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  Speaker 1: The brain is a computer, but we're not built to
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  Speaker 1: process all the information that we're getting in. And that's
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  Speaker 1: why we're having so many people with anxiety, with depression.
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  Speaker 1: You know, we're just flooding our brains with you know,
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  Speaker 1: all of these you know, endorphins that you know, leave
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  Speaker 1: us feeling so completely depleted. So I'm and to answer
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  Speaker 1: your question about the going all in right, you can't
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  Speaker 1: be lukewarm. I'm with that. And I also feel like
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  Speaker 1: the greatest people historically that have made the biggest differences
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  Speaker 1: also had those moments of unplugging and moving away from
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  Speaker 1: the public eye, you know, like going on sabbaticals. Doctor
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  Speaker 1: Martin Luther King was not on twenty four to seven,
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  Speaker 1: like he took time to study, to go lecture, to
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  Speaker 1: go and do the work that has shaped so much
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  Speaker 1: of our world, you know. And I look back at
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  Speaker 1: those people throughout history that have done that and don't
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  Speaker 1: we don't. Who do you know does that? Now? Like
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  Speaker 1: takes time, It takes time to just like unplug for months.
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  Speaker 2: Now. We don't do that. We don't uh, we don't
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  Speaker 2: do that. We don't have winters. You know, there's there's
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  Speaker 2: so much about our world now that is so tied
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  Speaker 2: to technology and is so tied to being on and
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  Speaker 2: so so tied to producing and content. And especially if
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  Speaker 2: you are in a space where you're communicating with other people,
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  Speaker 2: or you're in the media space, or you're in the
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  Speaker 2: podcast space, like you, taking breaks.
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  Speaker 1: Can literally be the end of your career, business and
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  Speaker 1: your career. So yeah, I don't, I don't know.
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  Speaker 2: I don't know how we as a society like move
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  Speaker 2: forward in this I see there is a lot of
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  Speaker 2: a you know, very extreme I'm gonna keep saying radical.
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  Speaker 1: But you love it.
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  Speaker 2: There is a radical push to to sort of go
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  Speaker 2: in the full other direction, right Like people are moving
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  Speaker 2: into the woods and people are buying you know and
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  Speaker 2: living out of vans, and I like love consuming some
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  Speaker 2: of my like unplug my brain content is these rv
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  Speaker 2: these like live in.
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  Speaker 1: RVs and the tiny houses.
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  Speaker 2: I like so convince myself that I could live in
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  Speaker 2: the one of those couldn't. There's no way, but I
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  Speaker 2: convince myself that I can. And the point is, like
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  Speaker 2: I see people going for these like really extreme options,
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  Speaker 2: and I do get it because it is it's hard
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  Speaker 2: as a person to exists in a world that really
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  Speaker 2: wasn't designed for humans.
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  Speaker 1: And it wasn't and it's not I mean, we're not designed.
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  Speaker 1: I can't remember what this study was that I read
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  Speaker 1: about how even being in like squares, we're not designed.
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  Speaker 1: I think about we're in squares all the time. Like,
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  Speaker 1: think about how good you feel when you're outside and
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  Speaker 1: on a hike. There's different shapes, there's different smells, there's
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  Speaker 1: different you know, layered terrain that you're walking on. You're
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  Speaker 1: having a full on experiential immersement. And what do we
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  Speaker 1: do every day, day in and day out. We're in
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  Speaker 1: these homes and we're in these offices where everything is
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  Speaker 1: like a box and you're just sitting there. And so
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  Speaker 1: of course it makes sense for us to want to,
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  Speaker 1: you know, distract ourselves or feel something else, you know,
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  Speaker 1: so we look for content that allows us to have
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  Speaker 1: a sense of that connection. And look, not all of
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  Speaker 1: us can be outside all the time and live that life.
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  Speaker 1: But I do think that it is important for us
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  Speaker 1: to have these conversations and to adapt ourselves in a
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  Speaker 1: way where we're not constantly consuming. And another thing that
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  Speaker 1: you said about this sort of culture that we're in,
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  Speaker 1: especially when you are creating content or you're you know,
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  Speaker 1: making a podcasts, or you're in the public eye, where
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  Speaker 1: you're encouraged to constantly be output like giving things out,
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  Speaker 1: or you're irrelevant to the world. I it's a reality,
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  Speaker 1: and it is true. But I feel like that is
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  Speaker 1: going to change. And I do think that there is
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  Speaker 1: a sacrifice that we have to make when we do
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  Speaker 1: take time to unplug. And I feel like when you
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  Speaker 1: take those moments like do you remember back in the day,
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  Speaker 1: like with you know, we would wait for like the
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  Speaker 1: next Prince album to come out, or like the next
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  Speaker 1: big you know album, and we would be just waiting,
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  Speaker 1: like waiting for it to drop. You know, we would
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  Speaker 1: have these moments, these lulls of yeah, waiting being bored.
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  Speaker 1: We don't have that anymore because everything is so instant.
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  Speaker 1: It's like you see a movie in the theater, two
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  Speaker 1: weeks later, you're streaming it. You know, it's it's what
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  Speaker 1: is next? What is next? Will you watch a show?
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  Speaker 1: You binge it and now you're onto another show? Right?
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  Speaker 1: There is no we have like no piflection period, integration period. Yeah,
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  Speaker 1: and it's it's I think it speaks to what you're
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  Speaker 1: saying about the being all in or not because we're
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  Speaker 1: just we're society that you're either hot or cold, like
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  Speaker 1: you're either for this or you're against it, Like there
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  Speaker 1: is no room for nuance or for integration or for
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  Speaker 1: actually living that slow type of life. What advice?
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  Speaker 2: Because you you've had such an interesting life and a
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  Speaker 2: unique life, and you mentioned that you're still working with
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  Speaker 2: people from your community, and you know, you've grown up
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  Speaker 2: in gangs and violence and we're arrested at fifteen, and
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  Speaker 2: you've talked all about this world that you grow up in.
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  Speaker 2: And when I you know, I hear you talking about
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  Speaker 2: just like people being in nature, Like we live in
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  Speaker 2: Los Angeles, right, Like we have access to a lot
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  Speaker 2: of beautiful natural places that are actually.
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  Speaker 1: Free, but not everyone in the a in a really
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  Speaker 1: weird privileged way.
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  Speaker 2: Even though we have these beautiful parks and then we
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  Speaker 2: have these beautiful hikes and we have they're free and
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  Speaker 2: they're available to everybody. Everyone doesn't have the privilege to
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  Speaker 2: be able to experience them, and they are in certain
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  Speaker 2: parts of the city, and there are people who don't
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  Speaker 2: feel like they go outside and see beautiful things. And
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  Speaker 2: you know, when I think about what you're saying in that,
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  Speaker 2: and like how society is going to break free of
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  Speaker 2: that and like find hope? Where do you see that
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  Speaker 2: happening in those in those kind of places.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, look, I again, I grew up in
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  Speaker 1: East l a time where there was a lot of
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  Speaker 1: gang violence, and you know, it wasn't safe to go outside.
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  Speaker 1: Like I couldn't go play outside. You know, people are like, oh,
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  Speaker 1: go outside and play. It's like, I don't know what
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  Speaker 1: that's like. You know, it's like you didn't go outside.
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  Speaker 1: The minute you got home. You did not go outside.
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  Speaker 1: I mean when I was maybe younger, we did. We
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  Speaker 1: would go to like parks and things like that. But
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  Speaker 1: after a while, you know, kids grow up and then
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  Speaker 1: now it's not safe to go to parks anymore. So
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  Speaker 1: so I understand that. And if I'm really honest, I
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  Speaker 1: mean I think about this more often than I probably should,
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  Speaker 1: you know, and then I try to not go down though, Well,
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  Speaker 1: it's like the policies that are created, and there's so
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  Speaker 1: much inequity, and there's not enough resources, and there's not
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  Speaker 1: enough education, and we're not focused on creating that kind
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  Speaker 1: of environment. And so we are in a privileged space,
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  Speaker 1: right like you and I we if we want to
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  Speaker 1: go on a hike, we can. If we want to
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  Speaker 1: go to a nice gym with the spot, we can,
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  Speaker 1: right like, not everybody has access to that, And so
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  Speaker 1: how how do you fix that? When I work with people,
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  Speaker 1: you know, I work with moms right now, right like
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  Speaker 1: a lot of immigrant population that you know, they've they've
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  Speaker 1: come to this country and they're navigating. I'm going to
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  Speaker 1: give you an example a school system. Their child is
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  Speaker 1: having a really hard time focusing. And when I start
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  Speaker 1: to inquire with these families, what is their tech consumption?
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  Speaker 1: Like you know, oh, well they have an iPhone and
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  Speaker 1: they play games on there all day long. Okay, so
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  Speaker 1: child's playing games all day long. So they're not being
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  Speaker 1: you know, they're they're sort of being stimulated in that way.
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  Speaker 1: And so when they go to school and they're sitting
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  Speaker 1: at this desk when a teacher's talking like they're not
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  Speaker 1: going to pay attention. It's it's kind of a detrimental
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  Speaker 1: to But in a way, the response that I get
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  Speaker 1: from these families is, well, I have stuff to do
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  Speaker 1: or I have another job that I have to go do,
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  Speaker 1: so I'm not there to monitor my child because I
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  Speaker 1: can't afford child care. And I try to get my
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  Speaker 1: child into sports, but I can't afford it because it's
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  Speaker 1: too much money. I have to work two jobs to
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  Speaker 1: afford you know. So there's that whole thing, and what
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  Speaker 1: do I want it. I want to be like, I'm
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  Speaker 1: gon venmo you some money so you could like put
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  Speaker 1: your kid in sports. You know that's not the answer though, Yeah, right,
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  Speaker 1: so fixing the system, yeah, and a remedy to that
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  Speaker 1: is okay, Well, how do you tell that person to,
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  Speaker 1: you know, psycho educate them to learn the ramifications of
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: giving your child a device this young and what happens.
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  Speaker 1: And I work with an organization that focuses on teaching
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  Speaker 1: emotional intelligence to people that are incarcerated, and so we
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  Speaker 1: go inside the prison system to do this education. And
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  Speaker 1: a lot of these I'm gonna call them kids because
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  Speaker 1: it's a it's a youth program. You see, the sort
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  Speaker 1: of everything that could have happened every step of the
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  Speaker 1: way that could have avoided them landing there, And it's
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  Speaker 1: so hard to see that because you see, all that
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  Speaker 1: needed to happen was X consistently and they wouldn't be here.
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  Speaker 1: These are good I'm not saying all of them, okay,
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  Speaker 1: because I've had these conversations before and people come for me.
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  Speaker 1: But I'm saying the opportunity that these kids could have
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  Speaker 1: had are very simple fixes that could have been that
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  Speaker 1: could have been made at a young age, had they
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  Speaker 1: just had some education, maybe an extra resource and time.
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  Speaker 1: And those are things that I feel like are the
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  Speaker 1: biggest problem to the question that you ask. It's like,
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  Speaker 1: how do we do that? It's like, I don't know.
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  Speaker 1: I mean, really that's the answer. I don't know. And
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  Speaker 1: I feel like all I can do is think about
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  Speaker 1: what I can do, and I'm doing what I can do,
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  Speaker 1: right I show up. I'm consistent. I've been doing it
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  Speaker 1: for years. I will continue to do it, hopefully until
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  Speaker 1: my last day on Earth, because I feel like that's
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  Speaker 1: really the only way that we get through it as
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  Speaker 1: a community is if we encourage other people to think
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  Speaker 1: about how they can contribute to that community space, whether
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  Speaker 1: it be volunteering, whether it be donating resources, whether it
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  Speaker 1: be writing to your local congress person, whether it be
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: going to your city hall. Like, just because we're not
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  Speaker 1: living in that environment doesn't mean we can't impact them. Yeah,
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  Speaker 1: I just I this is gonna sound terrible. I don't
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  Speaker 1: think a lot of people care. Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: I think we are in like one of the most
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  Speaker 2: self consumed times in life. Like we were talking about earlier,
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  Speaker 2: just how self centered everyone is.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, that like if someone's.
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  Speaker 2: Having a bad day, they'll be like, oh my god,
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  Speaker 2: this person was like so mean to me.
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  Speaker 1: That person didn't even notice you. They're in their whole
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  Speaker 1: own bubble. Yeah, And.
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  Speaker 2: Like obviously I do a lot of community work too,
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  Speaker 2: and a foundation and all this stuff, and it's like
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  Speaker 2: it feels like a drop in the bucket compared to
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  Speaker 2: like the systematic change that our systemic change that has
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  Speaker 2: to be done. And then I just feel like it's like, ah,
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  Speaker 2: not totally so well, Joy, It's like what you're saying
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  Speaker 2: is so true, right, what you said.
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  Speaker 1: You said people don't care. And I think that that
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  Speaker 1: has more to do with our degrading attention, you know,
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  Speaker 1: our attention span and how you know, I don't have
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  Speaker 1: great feeling. I know social media. We use it, we
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  Speaker 1: need it, and unfortunately I am contractually obligated to use it,
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  Speaker 1: so I do. If I didn't, I would delete it.
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  Speaker 1: But we have been so consumed by this, this tech,
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  Speaker 1: like this this world. I'm gonna use social media, and
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  Speaker 1: it's dehumanizing. It is completely dehumanizing, and of course it
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  Speaker 1: makes it so easy for us to be so binary
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  Speaker 1: about things, right, to be so aggressive and so disrespectful,
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  Speaker 1: like the things that I see people right, I'm like,
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  Speaker 1: you don't know this person, and you're so brave to
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  Speaker 1: be on the other end of wherever you live, from
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  Speaker 1: wherever corner of the world, you're sitting in the dark,
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  Speaker 1: spewing awful hate via your thumbs. It just is so
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  Speaker 1: And the way that it impacts us too, right, because
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: not only are they trying to impact the person that
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: they're being aggressive towards, but it's also impacting us the viewer,
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: because we're seeing, wow, this person, there is hate there
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: or there is disrespect there, Like I find that even
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: you know, with seeing that, like there are certain people
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: that I know, I'm like, I just would never even
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: if I felt a certain way, I could never spew
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: a criticism or a hate, like with the the intensity
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: that people do, you know, and it's like it's all good,
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: like you go to therapy and like work it out,
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: you know. But I feel like it's more of the
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: dehumanization of people that we're experiencing. We cannot hold somebody
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: else's humanity. If that I would I would like to
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: know if the people that are out there sort of
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: creating this energy like you just said, Oh, you don't
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: even know this person and you're creating this whatever content.
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: I was on a TikTok the other day and I
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: saw something about this person went to a book signing
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: and they made this video about how the author was
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: rude to them, and they showed the video and I'm like,
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: this person didn't even like this person signing books, like
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: they've got a huge line, like right, this person was
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: not rude to you, ma'am. I'm sorry, you know, but
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: that was my thought. And then I looked at the comments,
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: which I normally don't like to go through there, and look,
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: but Tory, my partner, is always like the truth lives
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: in the comments, you know, and I'm just like, I
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: don't like to see it because it just makes me upset. Yeah,
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: you know, but I went on there and people were
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: saying this to this person that posted this video, like
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: there was a long line. I was in that line too,
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: and she was just they were telling her to hurry up,
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: so she wasn't talking to people towards the end and
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: sort of like this dialogue that's going on between all
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: of these people. Mean, while this author who's sitting there
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: or free, not getting paid because you don't get paid
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: at book signings. You're there because you're wanting to engage
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: with your fans, is getting this this sort of viral
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: moment of this person saying that they were rude to
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: them because that's what's going to get clicks. It's so
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: and SO is rude to her fans, and it's like,
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: oh my god, like really, like are we there? Are
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: we okay? We're not okay?
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: I don't think anyone is okay. I'm not okay. I
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: can definitely say I'm not okay. I'm I'm trying. I'm
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: trying my best. And I think I think like the
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: the overarching like energy that I feel right now when
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: I when I really try to tap into like spirituality
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: and you know, being grounded and just trying to understand
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: what's happening with everything, and I feel like everyone's feeling
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: it right, Like there's like a very strong energy everywhere
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: with everything.
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: It's very intense.
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: It's very visceral and not always in a bad way,
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: but it just is intense energy right now now with
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: like the way the universe is spinning and my hope
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: is and you know, the ones that study this much
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: more deeper than I you being one of them, have
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: told me like the shift is happening, and I'm like cool,
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: but like mean like we're going to be.
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: The dinosaurs or what's the shift?
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: Because like I'm cool with it as long as like
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: the like I want the bomb to land right here
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: like on my forehead. I don't want to do the
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: zombie apocalypse. Yeah, but yeah, Like I think there is
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: this intense energy everyone's feeling and everyone kind of wants
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: to solve it, but there is like what's the first step?
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah? I always think about this whenever people ask me,
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: like what is I feel so helpless? Right I'm so
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: overwhelmed by the state of the world, or I'm so
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: overwhelmed by all of the things that I want to
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: change about my life. Where do I start? And you
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: always start with yourself first, right, You always start with yourself.
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: And the one new frontier that I really see amalgamating
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: right now is person to person connection, like having more
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: moments of IRL instead of this this digital world where yeah,
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: it's really great to connect. Like, I'm not gonna knock
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: the opportunity. I've met so many great people, so so
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: many of you know, my students, that I'm able to
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: connect with on a virtual you know, arena. But I
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: do feel like there is we are built to interact
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: with other humans, you know, We're not built to be
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: these like stiff like sitting in a box and looking
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: at a magnetic box and just you know, sort of
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: living this very rigid life. I feel like we are
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: not okay, and we are seeing the ramifications of what
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: that's doing in the way that it's manifesting in the world.
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: Having no empathy, not being able to have conversations. I
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: want to tell you something, and I thought about this
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: as you were saying it. It's hard for me to
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: not become pessimistic about this experience because again, I'm in it,
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: I'm interacting with all kinds of people, and the more
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: that I'm interacting, the more afraid I become of what's
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: happening in the world. But I also do see the
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: hope the minute that you do engage with people in
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: a very humanistic, compassionate way I have. I'm in school.
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: I'm in school with a lot of younger people. Obviously
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: I'm forty two, right, So I went back a couple
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: of years ago, and there are some activities that we
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: do in school where it requires us to do like
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: breakout rooms, like a conversation. I can't tell you the
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: amount of times this happened, where people can have a
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: conversation without having a script because it's just so debilitating
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: for them. Yeah, do you understand what I'm saying.
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: It's like, no, it's it's there for sure, especially younger people,
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: because they have never grown up in a world where
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: there wasn't a computer handy to assist with all that.
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: We had to go look shit up in an encyclopedia.
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: We had to go learn how to spell something in
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: a dictionary. Yeah, like we were actually physically handwriting things out.
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: We can write in cursive. They don't teach that anymore.
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Like we can literally speak a language they don't
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: speak like if we just want to take over the world,
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: we can just start writing everything incursive. Yeah, and it's
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: it's it's terrifying, like even you know, I think it's
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: affected dating. It's certainly affected education. I think it's affected
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: you know, community is coming together. Everything is like divide, divide, divide, divide.
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: You're in this, you're in that. There's no nuance, there's
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: no togetherness. And yeah, it's just I think it's exhausting
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: for everyone.
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: Well, everybody's everybody's nervous system joy is so shot. Yeah,
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: that them putting themselves in a situation where they have
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: to hold space for nuance. They just can't. They are
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: so overwhelmed. They just can't do it, Like they literally
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: can't do it. And look, you know, I have a
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: lot of compassion for for people, and I've I've had
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: to work at finding that compassion really but yeah.
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I you know what, Rossie, I think I
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: just I want you to take this as a compliment.
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: I put you on a pedestal. Yeah.
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: From there you are like the healer woman. You know,
• 26:59
  Speaker 2: you like tap into people's spiritual centers and you know,
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: help everyone aligne and like love and stuff. So I
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: guess like, you know, it's interesting to hear that you
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: being the provider of that. Like, I don't think anybody
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: comes to me to be healed, so I don't. I
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: don't think that was my past life journey how I
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: got here. So you know, we all have our our
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: fundamental core makeups, and you are a healer, so I guess, like,
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: how does the healer heal themselves? Because well, like hearing
• 27:33
  Speaker 2: you say that you're pessimistic, I'm like, fuck, man, what
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: am I supposed to do? Because I don't I don't
• 27:39
  Speaker 2: trust any of these fuckers. Yeah, and you shouldn't.
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: Don't ever pedestal anybody like that. I mean, here's the thing,
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: you know, I mean, you are better than me. But
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: but no, no, no, no, no, but that's not it's not
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: about that. And thank you. I will. I will take
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: the compliment. I appreciate you saying that I don't necessarily
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: see myself as a healer and all of that. You
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: flatter me too much. I'm help Like I definitely have
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: always been a helper, And ever since I was little,
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: I was always the little kid that's set up for
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: the person getting bullied. And that's just like I have
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: this strong, deep deep sense of things that are right,
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: you know, like just people being fair and just treating
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: people with respect, you know, and I am passionate about that.
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: But to speak to that, how does the healer heel?
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: I feel like, I'm going to go back to what
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: you said in the beginning, it's important to know the
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: reality of the world. And I'm definitely not. I'm not.
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: I don't vibe with the toxic positivity. Like that's not
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: my vibe at all, you know. I'm like I, like
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: I said, I'm a realist, Like I'm a very logical person.
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: I feel like I am an empathetic person. But I've
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: always said empathy without compassion is useless, right. So empathy
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: is is our ability to to feel, you know, what
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: each other is going through, right, Like I can empathize
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: with you, you can empathize with me. And I'm like, yeah, yeah,
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: I feel the same way. Like I know, I know
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: that feeling of the frustration and getting agitated and all that.
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: But the compassion, compassion is I have a desire for
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: your suffering to end, and I think that that's that's
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: what we need, right. I need a desire for that
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: person who I don't like, for that person suffering to end.
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: And that's hard, girl, you're preaching right now, because I'm
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: literally as you're talking, I'm like, I'm not there yet.
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: I'm not on that part of my heel journey. I'm
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: very much.
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: I'm very much still. I struggle with the compassion part.
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: I do.
• 29:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I have a I have a very limited so
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: I say this, and I feel like I'm gonna start
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: changing how I say this because I do have a
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: lot of empathy for people, but putting the compassion part
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: on it is really that's the actual answer, because I
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: do not have a lot of compassion for people. I
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: see and understand why someone will do something, but then
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: I don't. I'm not like I'm compassionate for your suffering
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: in those like habitual decisions, like someone who is you know,
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: obviously traumatized, who is making terrible decisions over and over
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: and over again, despite maybe even having access to a
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: lot of help and resources. At some point, my compassion
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: dries up and like that that's actually wrong, Like I
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: need to be more compassionate and not just understand why
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: someone is feeling what they're feeling.
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: Well, I wouldn't. I would take it a step deeper
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: than that which you have the right to feel that,
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: and it is frustrating sometimes when you're needing you know,
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: and you don't have to look. You don't owe anything
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: to anyone, right, But part of our let's call it
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: our spiritual journey now, if we want to go deep
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: on that level, which is where I have to go
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: in order for me to stay sane, I have to
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: remember that there is something bigger that's holding the force
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: of this land, of this experiment together that I have.
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: That's that I have to lean on that heavily, especially
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: in moments where I'm like, wow, like I'm scared for us.
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: But do I don't know, do we owe people something like? Well, no,
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: I always say that.
• 31:41
  Speaker 2: Too, like I don't like nobody. You don't nobody owes
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: you shit, you don't want to do anything. But I
• 31:45
  Speaker 2: do think sometimes I'm like, I think we say that
• 31:48
  Speaker 2: sometimes to protect ourselves, because I mean, as a community,
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: don't we owe each other.
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: I don't necessarily think it's an OWD thing because I
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: don't know that we should be doing things in reciprocity, Okay,
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: especially when we're talking about a communal experience. I don't
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: do things. I don't go it's not an obligation. It's
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: not an obligation it so you do it because that's
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: that's the right Again, it's the right thing to do.
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: What I was going to say with taking the compassion
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: a step further, is you having compassion towards yourself? Like,
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: how often do you say to yourself, like, I have
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: a desire for my own suffering to end? Yeah, all
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: the time. I'm definitely concerned.
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: I am my main concern right now at this chapter
• 32:37
  Speaker 2: in my life. I am my main concern, and I'm
• 32:40
  Speaker 2: like wildly unapologetic about that. Yeah, And I haven't always
• 32:44
  Speaker 2: been that way. I've been almost too far on the
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: other side. So maybe I'm overcorrecting. But I feel like
• 32:50
  Speaker 2: my safety emotionally, mentally, physically, sexually, within friendships, within family,
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: like my safety overall iss paramount to everything else.
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: I talked about this last week.
• 33:05
  Speaker 2: But I really feel like it's just my peace and
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: anything that is within my control has to be peaceful.
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: If it's like.
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: An outside force that I can't control, that I can't
• 33:15
  Speaker 2: control it. Yeah, so there may not be peace there,
• 33:17
  Speaker 2: but that's not up to me. But if it's if
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: I can control the environment, meaning I can allow this
• 33:22
  Speaker 2: person in or around me, or I can continue to
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: participate in this behavior or anything like that that disrupts
• 33:28
  Speaker 2: my piece.
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: It's not allowed. Yeah, and that's good. You have to
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: sort of you're putting the oxygen mask on yourself right like,
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: and that's okay. An overcorrection sometimes is necessary, especially if
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: there's been a lot of hurt and a lot of uh,
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: if you've been taken advantage of, you know that that's
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: it's necessary. So it's good. I mean, you're doing you're
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: doing all the work right, like you're doing everything you
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: need to be doing or that you know, not that
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: you need to be doing anything. I'm like such a stickler,
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: I'm a rough I'm like so rage against the machine.
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: I don't like to be told what to do, you know,
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: so I try to practice that with people in my life.
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: It's like I'll never tell you what to do, but
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: if you ask for my opinion or my advice, like
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: I may suggest things that have helped me, you know.
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: But I like that. I think sometimes we do have
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: to overcorrect, and I feel like that's what we're going
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: to We need that as a society. I think there
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: will be a point where, you know, the bubble's going
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: to burst, you know, especially with everything that's going on
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: like the AI and the you know, people are pro AI,
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: people are against, and there's this whole dialogue going on
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: with you know, all these different industries from film to
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: writing and health health people you know, using AI as
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: as a therapist, and it's it is an interesting time,
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: but I remain I remain hopeful that it's going to
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: it's going to create something that we really need.
• 35:09
  Speaker 2: How do you connect to spirituality right now? Because I'm
• 35:11
  Speaker 2: currently going through like a spiritual void. I think like
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: I grew up in a Christian church and I have
• 35:22
  Speaker 2: no connection to that whatsoever right now. And I also
• 35:25
  Speaker 2: just have because of my experiences and just you know,
• 35:29
  Speaker 2: the way that Christianity is so weaponized and used in
• 35:33
  Speaker 2: so many hateful different variations organized religion as a whole,
• 35:38
  Speaker 2: to me has become it's like an energy that just
• 35:42
  Speaker 2: like very like bounces off of me, like it's very
• 35:44
  Speaker 2: icky feeling. Not the practice, not the faith, It's the
• 35:48
  Speaker 2: institutions and how they are polluted and used to control people.
• 35:53
  Speaker 2: Like that part's very frustrating and mean. Because of that
• 35:55
  Speaker 2: of having a really hard time connecting to spirituality. And
• 35:58
  Speaker 2: I do think as a whole, we're all kind of
• 36:04
  Speaker 2: trying to find a way to like reconnect with the
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: ancient feelings of spirituality. So how are you dealing with
• 36:14
  Speaker 2: that right now? Like how do you stay grounded in that?
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I've gone through different iterations of it.
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: I think I was raised Catholic. Uh, I definitely you know,
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: call myself a recovering Catholic myself. But I still do
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: love the rituals. I still do love the It's more
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: nostalgia for me. It reminds me of my Awalita, Like
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: you know, this was part of her jam and so
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: I think it's more of that for me. And I'm
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: finding more peace with the religious aspect of it now.
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: And I and I want to say that I one
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: hundred percent agree with you. I saw that that episode
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: where you talked about this, and and I relate to
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: a lot of what you said, especially when people are
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: using it to control or you know, weaponize it against
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: a specific type of person. And yeah, I think that's
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: not right. So I also think that we as humans
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: do benefit from having a spiritual practice. I think for me,
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: it's it has become the more I got really into
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: you know, yogic philosophy when I was a teenager, which
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: is what kind of led me on my path. I
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: you know, studied in taught yoga for a long long time,
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: and I've always been really into philosophy and sort of
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: learning and a lot of what we learn in modern
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: psychology really stems from spiritual uh part practices and texts,
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: which I find to be really interesting. I say that
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: because I feel like I'm a huge nature person, Like
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: I love you know, I raise monarch butterflies. You know,
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: we have this like horde or colony of hummingbirds, and
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: I have animals, Like I'm I just love nature so
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: much because it teaches us so much about our own
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: human condition. Yeah, you know, you can be walking and
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: see a bud of a rose blooming with a dried
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: up rows with its dead, dried up leaves on the floor,
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: and sort of like nature is teaching us everything that
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: we go through these different cycles. They don't have social media,
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: which you know, like if they did, would they be
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: thriving this well, I don't know, but I feel like
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: for me, it's definitely become more of a slowed down
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: experience where I have to be very yeah, I have
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: to be really mindful about how I connect to God,
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: you know, to this higher power source. I don't ascribe
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: to any particular religion, you know, I do feel like,
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: you know, I studied the Bible. I've read it so
• 39:35
  Speaker 1: many times. I can speak to my religious friends from
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: an educated place, especially when they're trying to have a
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: discussion about how they feel about something, because it says
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: so in the Bible, and I'm like, well, does it
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: really say that? Do we know for a fact? But
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: I do like a lot of the teachings there. There's
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: this one and I and I don't I'm like, I
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: don't actually remember exactly. I think it's part of the
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: New Testament, but it's an entry that basically talks about
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: how you know, it's like the Fearful God was Old Testament, right,
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: that was the scary one. So maybe it was in
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: the Old Testament. But it's talking about how God built
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: the sand as a barrier to not like, to control it. Basically,
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: it's like I built this this line to hold the
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: veracity of the waves right, to hold it within itself right,
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: and it could, you know, be there could be a
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: huge storm and these waves will crash against these little, fine,
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: tiny little grains of sand, but it will not cross it. Right,
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: So that's what the entry the scripture says. And I
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: always that always stayed with me, and I always loved
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: that because I'm like, Okay, if there's one thing that
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: I took from reading that text, is that there's always
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: going to be a boundary there and as crazy as
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: life can get and as as as tumultuous, as tumultuous
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: as as the world can be, there is a line
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: holding it from me. And that line is God, the
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: divine source nature, whatever it is that you feel deeply
• 41:35
  Speaker 1: connected to. And if you believe that that line is there,
• 41:39
  Speaker 1: that that those fine, tiny little grains of sand, billions
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: of them, keep us from those waves coming to crash
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: into us, then I feel like that's that's a good
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: place to start. That's really beautiful. Yeah, I think, like.
• 41:58
  Speaker 2: I I have to get over the abuse of it all,
• 42:04
  Speaker 2: and it's hard to do when I'm constantly seeing it
• 42:07
  Speaker 2: resurface in so many different places. Like, you know, I
• 42:11
  Speaker 2: do not come from immigrant Well I come from white
• 42:14
  Speaker 2: immigrant parents, but my black parent obviously is not an immigrant,
• 42:20
  Speaker 2: and well he's not because he's African American, So stay
• 42:25
  Speaker 2: with me, guys if you don't know how this works,
• 42:26
  Speaker 2: like people get.
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: So confused, exhausting, well or like too white people.
• 42:30
  Speaker 2: Are immigrants, Okay, at some points they come from Europe,
• 42:34
  Speaker 2: So that's how immigration works. I see so much girl,
• 42:42
  Speaker 2: you know, of inside. I see so much of the
• 42:48
  Speaker 2: the you know, just the teachings being used for hate
• 42:54
  Speaker 2: and division and like someone standing up in front of
• 42:59
  Speaker 2: a church and then at the same time being okay
• 43:01
  Speaker 2: with like children being raped in ice camps, and I
• 43:05
  Speaker 2: just like, I'm like, I'm just over here trying to
• 43:08
  Speaker 2: connect with the universe. Guys, like stop, but it's like
• 43:10
  Speaker 2: it's so much a part of my, like to your
• 43:12
  Speaker 2: part my upbringing that I want to find a space
• 43:16
  Speaker 2: that doesn't give me this guilt feeling of like rejecting God.
• 43:20
  Speaker 2: But I'm like, you fuckers won't stop, and I can't
• 43:24
  Speaker 2: participate in something that can be used for such hate
• 43:29
  Speaker 2: and torture. You guys will literally sit there in church
• 43:34
  Speaker 2: and read the Bible and quote the Bible, and then
• 43:35
  Speaker 2: you will turn around and be okay with a fourteen
• 43:39
  Speaker 2: year old being impregnated by someone in a concentration camp.
• 43:44
  Speaker 2: Like what am I supposed to do with that. My
• 43:46
  Speaker 2: brain is not does not connect those two things.
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, there's a there's a huge cognitive dissonance happening, and
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: it happens a lot, and it's not just in Christianity.
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: I mean it happens in other religions as well. The
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: other religion's other people's problems. I did.
• 44:01
  Speaker 2: I grew up, Listen, I hate I am not down
• 44:03
  Speaker 2: with any organized religion depression. Somebody asking me this the
• 44:06
  Speaker 2: other day on social They're like, you're never you never
• 44:08
  Speaker 2: talk about Islam, Like, I'm not fucking Muslim, So no,
• 44:12
  Speaker 2: I don't talk about Islam. The people who are Muslim
• 44:14
  Speaker 2: who disagree with what's going on in Islam can talk
• 44:17
  Speaker 2: about that. No. I don't agree with any organized religion
• 44:20
  Speaker 2: being used for oppression or genocide or torture or rape,
• 44:24
  Speaker 2: or colonialism across the board, oppression of women, okay, or
• 44:31
  Speaker 2: children of gay people, of people who have disabilities, whatever
• 44:35
  Speaker 2: it is that sounds like you would get canceled for it.
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: Put that on the fucking map.
• 44:40
  Speaker 2: That's what I don't agree with, whether you're Islam or Jewish,
• 44:43
  Speaker 2: Muslim or Jewish or Hindu or whatever whatever it is.
• 44:46
  Speaker 2: But I grew up in a Christian church, So I'm
• 44:48
  Speaker 2: going to talk about my issues with the religion that
• 44:51
  Speaker 2: I grew up in. That we claim in this country
• 44:54
  Speaker 2: to be a Christian country. Obviously we are not. That's
• 44:57
  Speaker 2: fucking stupid because we're not a Christian country. But if
• 45:01
  Speaker 2: we're going to have that conversation, then let's have it.
• 45:03
  Speaker 2: Why are you guys such pieces as shit? You don't
• 45:08
  Speaker 2: have to answer that great question. I'm like, that's a
• 45:10
  Speaker 2: great question, but that is where I'm at with it,
• 45:12
  Speaker 2: So I guess you know, I'm just that's just what
• 45:15
  Speaker 2: I'm struggling with.
• 45:16
  Speaker 1: So I do.
• 45:16
  Speaker 2: I am trying to like like maybe go back to
• 45:19
  Speaker 2: yoga or like meditate more. Everyone who has told me
• 45:22
  Speaker 2: to meditate, which I'm having a very fucking hard time doing.
• 45:24
  Speaker 1: Girl, Yeah, tell me tell me about it. Why are
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: you having a hard time? I can't be quiet. I
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: cannot quiet my brain. But your your brain is not
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: designed to be quiet. So then how do you how
• 45:35
  Speaker 1: do you just meditate that? Let's break this down, because
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: first of all, I always like to ask people because
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: people think, oh, I can't meditate because my mind doesn't stop.
• 45:46
  Speaker 1: It's like your your mind is not supposed to stop.
• 45:48
  Speaker 1: So meditation. The practice of meditation is to remain aware.
• 45:56
  Speaker 1: So if you're remaining aware of your thoughts and your
• 45:59
  Speaker 1: focus on one thing, maybe it's one thought, maybe it's
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: an object, maybe it's and you forget and you're deviating
• 46:06
  Speaker 1: and you're getting your grocery lists or your your to
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: do lists for the day, that that's still part of
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: your meditation practice. So meditation, the actual definition of meditation
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: is to become familiar with to become familiar with what, well,
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: to become familiar with your mind. So people think, oh,
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: I have to get my mind to stop. I can't
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: get my mind still, and say, good, look I can't.
• 46:29
  Speaker 1: I've been doing it for thirty years. Like I still
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: Can't've been meditating for thirty years. Well no, not quite
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: but almost. Oh yeah I forty two. I started when
• 46:40
  Speaker 1: I was fifteen. I mean, we'll round up. That's okay, Yeah,
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: that's I mean, that's still very impressive. Yeah.
• 46:46
  Speaker 2: I have all of my therapists, my many therapists, my
• 46:51
  Speaker 2: doctor's like at nutritionness, everyone's like, you need to meditate. Yeah,
• 46:56
  Speaker 2: and I try, like my Reikieten, I'm in la I
• 46:59
  Speaker 2: do it all.
• 47:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 47:00
  Speaker 2: Right, So like, maybe here's the other thing that I
• 47:04
  Speaker 2: want to start, because you started at a very young age.
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I just sat there and I just like I
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: didn't like closing my eyes because I'd been through very
• 47:13
  Speaker 1: traumatic experiences, so I kept my eyes open and I
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: would just like focus on a point. I had this
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: little like river rock that I would hold and that
• 47:22
  Speaker 1: was my focal point, and my mind would just do
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: the things it does, and then I just did it.
• 47:27
  Speaker 1: I would start at five minutes and then I would increase, increase, increase,
• 47:30
  Speaker 1: and that's how I started. But it was it was
• 47:33
  Speaker 1: really hard and it and it's still sometimes hard. I
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: do it every day. I don't actually know what my
• 47:37
  Speaker 1: day would be like without it. Wow. But but just
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: because I've been doing it consistently doesn't mean it's easy.
• 47:42
  Speaker 1: I do have hard days, especially during COVID I. I
• 47:46
  Speaker 1: I had some really really tough days of like why
• 47:50
  Speaker 1: am I doing this? The World's going to end as pointless,
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: like what are we doing? But there's there's your meditation practice.
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: I'm going to say this. Your meditation practic does should
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: have three qualities. Let's say, for anybody who wants to
• 48:08
  Speaker 1: create a meditation practice, there are three qualities important sort
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: of guidestones that we should have. And the first, the
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: first thing is our approach. How are you approaching the practice? Right?
• 48:21
  Speaker 1: That's so important? Am I approaching it with optimism? Or
• 48:24
  Speaker 1: am I approaching it with like, oh, here we go again,
• 48:27
  Speaker 1: I'm going to do this thing. I'm going to use
• 48:29
  Speaker 1: it to plan or I'm just going to get annoyed
• 48:31
  Speaker 1: at myself? Like what is your approach? The second is
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: to have an intention? What is the intention behind the meditation?
• 48:39
  Speaker 1: And the intention could just be I just want to
• 48:42
  Speaker 1: be a piece for five minutes. I just want to
• 48:44
  Speaker 1: be a piece for three minutes. And the third is
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: to practice, Like you work out, you know what happens when?
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: What is discipline? How do you build a muscle? You
• 48:56
  Speaker 1: work it out? Yeah, I'm tire it out? Yeah, But
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: do you like do you do you think that you're
• 49:00
  Speaker 1: gonna build muscle after doing it? One? No? No, you have
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: to be consistent. You have to be consistent. You have
• 49:05
  Speaker 1: to do it. And the process of building a muscle,
• 49:09
  Speaker 1: you have to be aggressive for a sess a break, right,
• 49:12
  Speaker 1: you have to rip the muscle in order for it
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: to build. So think about your mind as the same
• 49:16
  Speaker 1: type of mechanism. And the other thing that I will say,
• 49:22
  Speaker 1: meditation doesn't always look like I'm steated, cross leg eyes
• 49:26
  Speaker 1: closed experience. Your meditation could be you're walking like that
• 49:32
  Speaker 1: could be your meditation practice. The idea is to get
• 49:36
  Speaker 1: your mind focused on one consistent thing. So it could
• 49:43
  Speaker 1: be a vision or this like peaceful place. Maybe you
• 49:48
  Speaker 1: went on a beautiful white sand beach vacation that's like
• 49:52
  Speaker 1: really impacted you, and you put yourself there for as
• 49:55
  Speaker 1: long as you can. Your mind's going to go off
• 49:58
  Speaker 1: and then you're going to bring it back. But it's
• 49:59
  Speaker 1: that bringing it back that's what the meditation is, because
• 50:03
  Speaker 1: you're noticing what you're noticing. And that's the problem with
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: this sort of attention degraded society that we're in. That
• 50:13
  Speaker 1: that is so it's so hard, it's not easy to do.
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: So so when people are like, oh I tried it,
• 50:18
  Speaker 1: I couldn't do it, I understand, you know, but there
• 50:21
  Speaker 1: are It's not a one size fits all, so you
• 50:25
  Speaker 1: have to find what works for you. Maybe it's listening
• 50:28
  Speaker 1: to Tibetan bowls, maybe it's listening to a guided meditation.
• 50:31
  Speaker 1: Maybe it's you know, doing some put your your headphones on,
• 50:37
  Speaker 1: you're listening to buyin neural beats. Maybe it's you listening
• 50:41
  Speaker 1: to a podcast that's relaxing, or somebody are reading a book.
• 50:45
  Speaker 1: Listening to a book. Your meditation every morning for five minutes,
• 50:49
  Speaker 1: ten minutes is listening to this. You know. One of
• 50:53
  Speaker 1: my favorite books is by John Cabot's in that I
• 50:56
  Speaker 1: recommend to all of my students whenever they start meditation practices.
• 51:01
  Speaker 1: It's called Wherever You Go, There you Are. It's such
• 51:05
  Speaker 1: a great such a great read, and you can get
• 51:08
  Speaker 1: it on audible, So that could be your practice, Like
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: maybe listen to ten minutes of that every morning. You know,
• 51:15
  Speaker 1: it doesn't have to be okay, I have to be still.
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: It's like your your mind is a computer. We have
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: so many thoughts going on. It's your your brain is
• 51:25
  Speaker 1: designed for survival. If it's not calculating, it's like, what
• 51:29
  Speaker 1: are we doing? Why are you sitting here? We got
• 51:31
  Speaker 1: shit to do, Like you got this to do, you
• 51:33
  Speaker 1: got that to do, Like you don't have time to
• 51:35
  Speaker 1: sit here. That's what your mind is doing, which brings
• 51:39
  Speaker 1: me to the whole dating experience that is happening in
• 51:41
  Speaker 1: the world right now. We don't want to get into it.
• 51:43
  Speaker 1: But oh, we totally can. It's the it's the the mind.
• 51:46
  Speaker 1: The mind is designed for survival. It's not designed for happiness.
• 51:51
  Speaker 1: So your mind is always, forever for the rest of
• 51:55
  Speaker 1: your life, is always going to want what's better always,
• 52:01
  Speaker 1: So how do you get it to not want what's better?
• 52:04
  Speaker 1: To not try and Oh, I'm going to talk to
• 52:05
  Speaker 1: this person over here. While I'm talking to this person,
• 52:07
  Speaker 1: but could there be somebody better? Oh, but I'm talking
• 52:10
  Speaker 1: to that person now, but maybe there's somebody better. Yeah,
• 52:14
  Speaker 1: Or now you're dating this person for a couple of
• 52:16
  Speaker 1: months and it's like, oh, but maybe there's somebody better.
• 52:18
  Speaker 1: Your mind is designed for that, you know, it's not
• 52:21
  Speaker 1: it's not designed. It's designed for survival and to want
• 52:26
  Speaker 1: what's better, because that's just what it does. So you
• 52:29
  Speaker 1: have to train your mind. You have to train, You
• 52:32
  Speaker 1: have to train, train, You have to train your mind.
• 52:38
  Speaker 1: Your mind is a computer and it has hardware in
• 52:42
  Speaker 1: it aka a childhood, and it has software embedded in
• 52:48
  Speaker 1: their aka memories, bad relationships, breakups, family dynamics, all of
• 52:57
  Speaker 1: those things. We have to train the mind to say, hey, hey,
• 53:04
  Speaker 1: let's go back here and focus on this thing or Hey,
• 53:07
  Speaker 1: you know what, I'm not going to engage with that
• 53:09
  Speaker 1: because I'm really content in my relationship. Please sneak out
• 53:14
  Speaker 1: of my dms, you know. Like, but that requires a
• 53:17
  Speaker 1: desire to want to be better, to want to heal,
• 53:23
  Speaker 1: to want to evolve. And I think, going back to
• 53:25
  Speaker 1: what you said in the beginning, it's like do people
• 53:28
  Speaker 1: you said, do people actually care? My question as somebody
• 53:33
  Speaker 1: in this mental health in the mental health mental wellbeing spaces,
• 53:38
  Speaker 1: do people actually want to be well? That's the question?
• 53:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, or do they want like just a temporary relief situation.
• 53:47
  Speaker 2: I feel like what you just did was an excellent
• 53:49
  Speaker 2: PSA on cheating.
• 53:54
  Speaker 1: It was like such a the.
• 53:55
  Speaker 2: Soft sweet, like very empathetic, compassionate. It like logical, educated
• 54:03
  Speaker 2: explanation for people being ain't shit, Like you don't actually
• 54:11
  Speaker 2: want your brain is you've not trained your brain to
• 54:15
  Speaker 2: have not even self control, but like to actually want
• 54:19
  Speaker 2: what's best for what's actually best for you. And I
• 54:22
  Speaker 2: think like in a lot of ways, that applies not
• 54:24
  Speaker 2: just to dating, but it also applies to like health,
• 54:26
  Speaker 2: it applies to aging, It applies to money, like everyone
• 54:31
  Speaker 2: is we're all just like more and more and more
• 54:33
  Speaker 2: and more and I've always said, like greed is something
• 54:36
  Speaker 2: that I don't really understand, but I'm more talking about
• 54:39
  Speaker 2: like super high level, like unreal corporate greed that eventually
• 54:43
  Speaker 2: leads to like the collapse of an entire civilization. That
• 54:46
  Speaker 2: greed makes no sense to me, but I think on
• 54:48
  Speaker 2: a lot of levels, we're all becoming very greedy. We
• 54:50
  Speaker 2: always want more, even at our own expense, and it
• 54:55
  Speaker 2: shows up in a lot of different ways, a relationships.
• 54:58
  Speaker 1: A sense of security even in relation We just want
• 55:01
  Speaker 1: we just want to be.
• 55:02
  Speaker 2: Safe, but sometimes we put ourselves in unsafe situations just
• 55:07
  Speaker 2: because we think we we think it's more like, you know,
• 55:11
  Speaker 2: obviously you're familiar with codependency, and it's something that I
• 55:13
  Speaker 2: talk about a lot because it's it's ruined my life
• 55:16
  Speaker 2: in a lot of different ways throughout the course of
• 55:19
  Speaker 2: my life. Obviously I'm doing fine out, but you know,
• 55:21
  Speaker 2: it's really been something when you grow up in a
• 55:24
  Speaker 2: traumatic space, like codependency is just something that you develop
• 55:28
  Speaker 2: and it feels like a safe thing to have someone,
• 55:34
  Speaker 2: but that like losing, that feels like a lost feels
• 55:38
  Speaker 2: like you're giving something up, but you're actually gaining so
• 55:42
  Speaker 2: much more from not being codependent to a obviously toxic
• 55:44
  Speaker 2: person or toxic thing, or toxic habit or toxic space
• 55:48
  Speaker 2: or a toxic environment.
• 55:49
  Speaker 1: If you can control that, but you have to you
• 55:51
  Speaker 1: have to learn first. Yeah, you have to learn, and
• 55:54
  Speaker 1: you have to. Unfortunately, look, what's happening right now in
• 55:58
  Speaker 1: the dating world is a dumpster fire. I know that
• 56:02
  Speaker 1: I have a lot of single friends. I have a
• 56:03
  Speaker 1: lot of friends, especially at my age, that we're in
• 56:08
  Speaker 1: long terms now, are divorced. Now we're in the dating pool.
• 56:11
  Speaker 1: And I have a lot of younger friends too that
• 56:14
  Speaker 1: you know, are in their late twenties early thirties, that
• 56:17
  Speaker 1: are having this dating life and experience and the polyamorous
• 56:25
  Speaker 1: all that stuff, which is a separate move. Come back
• 56:27
  Speaker 1: and have that conversation. But I agree with what you're saying,
• 56:35
  Speaker 1: and I feel like life is risk, Like we have
• 56:42
  Speaker 1: to take risk to be successful. You have to take
• 56:44
  Speaker 1: a risk to be an entrepreneur, you have to take
• 56:46
  Speaker 1: a risk to do anything. I mean, we're taking risks
• 56:50
  Speaker 1: the minute that we step out the door. And I
• 56:52
  Speaker 1: feel like, you know, when especially when you have an
• 56:56
  Speaker 1: experience where you've been cheated on, or you somebody's been
• 57:00
  Speaker 1: dishonest with you. That clouds us, right, It dulls our
• 57:07
  Speaker 1: self trust, and then we fear going into a situation,
• 57:13
  Speaker 1: especially if we tend to be a codependent type of person.
• 57:16
  Speaker 1: I am too recovering codependent. Well, I wouldn't say recovering.
• 57:21
  Speaker 1: I don't mind being codependent. I enjoy the I don't
• 57:26
  Speaker 1: like to give labels, but there is this sort of
• 57:30
  Speaker 1: I'm going to say desire for connection instead of the
• 57:34
  Speaker 1: codependency label. I feel like for many people that have
• 57:40
  Speaker 1: had adverse experiences in romantic relationships, what that does is
• 57:48
  Speaker 1: it teaches us a lesson. Right. It teaches us, Okay,
• 57:52
  Speaker 1: there are red flags and I've experienced them before and
• 57:57
  Speaker 1: I ignored them, and now I'm not going to experience
• 57:59
  Speaker 1: them again, and so it teaches you it's like, okay, yeah,
• 58:02
  Speaker 1: there are some pitfalls there. I'm not going to go
• 58:04
  Speaker 1: that route because that's going to require a lot of
• 58:06
  Speaker 1: effort and I don't feel like doing that. However, simultaneously,
• 58:12
  Speaker 1: what needs to happen is we need to heal the
• 58:14
  Speaker 1: part of ourselves that has experienced this self, the distrust
• 58:21
  Speaker 1: of self, because the problem is then we we start
• 58:25
  Speaker 1: dating again and we didn't sort of heal that you're
• 58:29
  Speaker 1: going to go back into that same path. Yeah, right,
• 58:32
  Speaker 1: But then the opposite, the counter to that is, well, no,
• 58:36
  Speaker 1: I just I'm not going to trust anybody. I'm just
• 58:38
  Speaker 1: going to assume that everybody's that that men ain't shit
• 58:42
  Speaker 1: and they're all the same, and all they want is this,
• 58:45
  Speaker 1: and they blah blah blah blah blah. And look, I again,
• 58:51
  Speaker 1: it's rare to find a good man these days. It
• 58:54
  Speaker 1: is rare, and I know that I do, but it's
• 58:58
  Speaker 1: not impossible. And I would say that the issue we
• 59:06
  Speaker 1: have with addiction to porn, to gambling, to social media,
• 59:12
  Speaker 1: it's all part of the same system. It's all I
• 59:19
  Speaker 1: want to feel good. I want to feel nothing, and
• 59:22
  Speaker 1: I want it now. That's what it is. And if
• 59:27
  Speaker 1: we continue to feed that system in the way that
• 59:31
  Speaker 1: we do, it's not going to get better, and our
• 59:34
  Speaker 1: relationships are going to continue to deteriorate because we're not
• 59:38
  Speaker 1: having the conversations that need to happen, because we're not
• 59:42
  Speaker 1: experiencing the risk, we're not experiencing the tension that we
• 59:47
  Speaker 1: need to build that muscle, we're not experiencing the tear
• 59:51
  Speaker 1: because we're afraid, you know what I mean. Yeah, It's like,
• 59:56
  Speaker 1: why would I put myself in a risky situation. Why
• 59:59
  Speaker 1: would I put my heart on the line to get
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 1: hurt when I could just pay somebody to come hang
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 1: out with me for an hour. Yeah.
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And that temporary fulfillment at least takes away the
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 2: sting of pushing through that loneliness. Like I have a
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 2: friend that I was talking to recently and they are.
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 1: Attempting to leave.
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 2: A toxic relationship, and you know, the relationship has damaged
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 2: our friendship because again, I've been empathetic, I've been compassionate,
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 2: and then it just like has gotten to a point
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 2: where I'm like, I've given you all the advice and
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 2: help I can give.
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 1: This is now your decision.
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 2: And something that they said to me that I hope
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 2: I gave them good advice on, but all I could
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 2: say is I've been there before. Is they were like,
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 2: I can't handle like the silence, like the pain of
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 2: not having a person around, Like I know how much
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 2: that's going to hurt. And I was like, it can't
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 2: poss be worse, and it won't be worse in any
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 2: kind of long term situation. Then the ridiculous, horrible, toxic,
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 2: draining abusive bullshit that you're living in right now.
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 1: You have to detox. Like, part of the detox of.
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 2: Those situations is pushing through that uncomfortable tension that you're
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 2: talking about to get to the other side. Yeah, if
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 2: as soon as your muscle starts getting tired, you're like,
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 2: all right, no, we're no, we're lifting. Like, you don't
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 2: get a muscle, It doesn't grow, it doesn't it doesn't shape. Yeah,
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 2: So like, and there's a very different thing than going
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 2: through a bad situation to get so good. It's not
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 2: like suffering. It's not the suffering Olympics. It's not like,
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 2: oh you have to be a ride or die to
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 2: get the wedding ring or something like.
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 1: It's not that bullshit.
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 2: It's about working through what everyday life brings you. And yeah,
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 2: I mean like I'm I'm guilty of this as well.
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 2: And it's like, I do think that it's all tied
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 2: to like the same system of instant gratification.
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And what you said, it's like, we don't want
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 1: to feel that pain, and it's you know, it's interesting
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 1: as as you say that, and and look, I feel
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 1: for your friend, and I know it's really hard to
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 1: leave a toxic relationship. It's it's really it's probably one
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 1: of the hardest things because the loneliness, the idea of
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 1: loneliness is so painful. But again it's I'll make two comparisons.
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 1: Have you ever fasted before? Have you ever done like
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 1: a fasting?
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 2: I do like intermittent, yeah, yeah, in yeah, in intermitten intermittent, intermittent,
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 2: intermittent fact. Okay, But so you experience in those moments
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 2: where like let's say you said, Okay, I'm gonna do
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 2: a twelve hour fast or whatever. When it's that time
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 2: to eat, what starts to happen?
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you get like that that pain in your stuff.
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 2: It's uncomfortable. Yeah, it doesn't feel good, and then you
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 2: push through and then it goes away.
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 1: Okay, great, you said exactly what the point is you
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 1: but you push through joy. That's the difference. Yeah, So
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 1: that's the difference. That that's I'm going to go back
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 1: to what we talked about earlier, the compassion piece. It's
• 1:03:11
  Speaker 1: like your friend that I'm sure it's frustrating for you.
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 1: You know, it's like you're like, why can't you just
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 1: cross the finish line? It's right there, you could do it.
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 1: I could do it, but not everybody can do it. Yeah,
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 1: they have to do it, you know. And and the
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 1: other thing to think about is people's mental strength is different.
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 1: You know. They say, oh, people evolve it different capacities,
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 1: and they totally do. And you know, I used to
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 1: have this mindset before where I was like, well, I
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 1: don't want to hang out with those people, like I
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 1: want to be strong people. I want to be influenced by,
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 1: you know, only winners. You know, people that love failing.
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 1: You know that just they're going to keep going. But
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 1: I and that's fine. And those are like seasonal things.
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 1: You know, maybe you're in a season of your life
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 1: where you just you said, you're protecting your peace and
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 1: you're being very mindful about the relationships in your life,
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 1: and you're on a healing journey. And I support that.
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 1: I think it's good because when we're on a healing journey,
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 1: we're very vulnerable. And so that's why it feels like
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 1: you're gonna be a fucking savage about your time, and
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 1: you should because you're a vulner you're in a vulnerable space.
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 1: And I totally support that. I think it's good for
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 1: people to do that because it's so easy to just
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 1: you know, when you are in that vulnerable state, to
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 1: be like, oh it's fine, I'm just gonna go and
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 1: hang out this person or let this person plug into
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 1: me and just drain me of my life blood when
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 1: you don't have any, you know. But the other thing
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 1: that I that I want to say is when you're
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 1: fully charged up, then we talk about the communal aspect
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 1: of us giving back. That's when you go back into
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 1: your community, into a new friend or to somebody that
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 1: needs a light, that does have one right, that needs
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 1: like you know, this whole guru mentality. Right, I'm not
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 1: a big guru person. I don't like to pedestal people
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 1: because people disappoint you know, they have but the word,
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 1: you know, when I think about the word guru, it's
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 1: it's the one the one that brings the light, you know,
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 1: and and I always like to look at it, you know,
• 1:05:22
  Speaker 1: the people in my life who were walking on a path.
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 1: I don't want to walk behind somebody whose light is
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 1: dimmer than mine. Yeah, I want to walk behind somebody
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 1: whose lights brighter that I could follow and be like okay,
• 1:05:39
  Speaker 1: like my light's not as bright as theirs, but I'm
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 1: going to follow them because they look like they know
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 1: where they're going. And then maybe after a while, my
• 1:05:47
  Speaker 1: light gets brighter and then I look back and there's
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 1: people behind me, So I want to keep going in
• 1:05:52
  Speaker 1: a way that they can follow along. Yeah, right, what
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 1: you said about you know, it's like that the people
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 1: wanting wellness or wanting change, and not everybody wants to
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 1: feel the discomfort of intermitten intermittent fast. You know, one
• 1:06:14
  Speaker 1: of my friends, Ryan Harris, NFL champion, will shout out
• 1:06:20
  Speaker 1: he said this to me once, and I'll never forget it.
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 1: We're having this conversation, We're at an event and we're
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 1: both speaking, and I don't remember the context of the conversation,
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 1: but it had to do with, you know, wanting to
• 1:06:38
  Speaker 1: help people and what do you do when you want
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 1: to help somebody that doesn't want to be helped. And
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 1: he said, not everybody wants to be a champion, and
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 1: I was like, oh, okay, yeah, it's true. Yeah, not
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 1: everybody wants to be a champion. And I'm like, I
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 1: I can get on with that, because he wasn't saying
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 1: it from a I'm a champ and you're not. It
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 1: was like, hey, I want to be a champion, Like
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 1: you don't want to eat that shit sandwich, I'll eat it.
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 1: I want you don't want the objection letter, I'll take it.
• 1:07:16
  Speaker 2: Some people.
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 1: Want, like everyone wants different things.
• 1:07:20
  Speaker 2: Some people might just want to, you know, take their
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 2: family out of poverty. Some people are just passionate about
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 2: the sport. Like it is important to not project your
• 1:07:32
  Speaker 2: aspirations onto other people. But I do so feel you
• 1:07:35
  Speaker 2: about pouring into yourself, Like I think it's it's a
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 2: very important time that.
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 1: We're in right now and remembering.
• 1:07:43
  Speaker 2: Like I think to bring everything like full circle, like
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 2: to pour into yourself in whatever like chapter of your
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 2: journey that you're in, and then just remember that it's
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 2: not always going to be like that, yeah, forever, And
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 2: that's like that's sort of where I'm at right now.
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 2: It's like I definitely think that's a great way of
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 2: putting it. When you're saying that, like when you're going
• 1:08:00
  Speaker 2: through healing or you're protecting your pieces because you're vulnerable.
• 1:08:04
  Speaker 2: I wasn't thinking of it that way, but it's true.
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 2: Like anything that pings me, I'm like, like, where's Normally
• 1:08:10
  Speaker 2: I would be like Okay, I can handle that, but
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 2: like I really turn into like a.
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 1: What are those things that you can't throw water on?
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 1: I'm like a gremlin.
• 1:08:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like theremlin that's like a gremlin when it comes
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 2: to the ship, because I'm like, don't fuck with me.
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 1: But that's that's the thing that happens when you've been
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 1: in a position like you've been in. Yeah, and it's
• 1:08:33
  Speaker 1: a normal response. You are the best.
• 1:08:36
  Speaker 2: I'm still going to keep you on my guru pedestal
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 2: even if you don't want me to.
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 1: Follow.
• 1:08:42
  Speaker 2: Rosie Acosta at Rosie Acosta r O s I E.
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 2: Acosta and also her meditation teacher, which I was really
• 1:08:53
  Speaker 2: helpful for me, Thank you, because I do feel like
• 1:08:55
  Speaker 2: because I'm not sitting, I can't really do the cross
• 1:08:57
  Speaker 2: my hips have too much trauma, and then I can't
• 1:08:59
  Speaker 2: do the cross leg. What do they call it now,
• 1:09:02
  Speaker 2: cris cross apple sauce? Is that the acceptable term? Okay,
• 1:09:05
  Speaker 2: it's all these terms, guys, and people can still get
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 2: radically loved, right yeah, yeah, okay, So check out her book.
• 1:09:13
  Speaker 2: You are radically loved and I'm very excited for your
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 2: your new journey with school and I can't wait to
• 1:09:22
  Speaker 2: see what you do next. You're really an inspiration and
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 2: you do.
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 1: Bring a lot of faust.
• 1:09:27
  Speaker 2: Even if you are not optimistic, you bring so much
• 1:09:31
  Speaker 2: positivity to the world. You've always been someone who I
• 1:09:34
  Speaker 2: feel like very just light around, like your energy is
• 1:09:38
  Speaker 2: just a very important one. So I just hope that
• 1:09:42
  Speaker 2: you feel that because I know, like a lot is
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 2: happening in the world and a lot is happening for
• 1:09:46
  Speaker 2: us personally.
• 1:09:47
  Speaker 1: So you are, you have a bright light.
• 1:09:49
  Speaker 2: No worry, there are people following you and you should
• 1:09:53
  Speaker 2: follows if you don't follow the bright light. Thank you
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 2: so much for joining us, Rosie, thank you app