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The Sarashina Diary Part 1 · Diaries of Court Ladies of Old Japan

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Section one of therees of Court Ladies of Old Japan. This is a libribot's
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recording. All libribots recordings are in the public domain. For more information or
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to volunteer, please visit libripots dot org. Read by Elia Salvador, There
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is of Court Ladies of Old Japan by Sarashina Murasakishikibu etal. Translated by Annie
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Schepliyomori and Kochiitoi the Zerashina Diary, Part one eighty one thousand nine one thousand
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fifty nine. I was brought up in a distant province which lies farther than
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the farthest end of the Eastern Road. I am ashamed to think that inhabitants
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of the royal city will think me an uncultural girl. Somehow I came to
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know that there are such things of romance in the world, and wish to
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read them when there was nothing to do by day or at night. One
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tale or another was told me by my elder sister or stepmother, and I
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heard several chapters about the Shining Prince Kendy. My longing for such stories increased,
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but how could they recite them all from memory? I became very restless
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and got an image of the Kushi Buddha made as large as myself. When
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I was alone, I washed my hands and went secretly before the altar and
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prayed to him with all my life, bowing my head down to the floor.
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Please let me go to the Royal City. There I can find many
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tales. Let me read all of them. When thirteen years old, I
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was taken to the Royal City. On the third of the long moon month,
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I removed from my house to imatate the old house where I had play
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as a child, being broken up at sunset in the foggy twilight. Just
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as I was getting into the palanquin, I thought of the Buddha before which
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I had gone secretly to pray. I was sorry and secretly shed tears to
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leave him behind. Outside of my new house a route temporary touched one.
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There is no fence nor even shutters. When we have hung curtains and sudari
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from that house. Standing on a low bluff, a white plain extends towards
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the south. On the east and west, the sea crept close, so
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it is an interesting place. When fox are falling, it is so charming
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that I rise early every morning to see them. Sorry, to leave this
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place. On the fifteenth, in a heavy dark rain, we cross the
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boundary of the province and lodge at Ikada in the province of Shimofusa. Our
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lodging is almost submerged. I am so afraid I cannot sleep. I see
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only three lone trees standing on a little hill in the waste. The next
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day was passing drying our dripping clothes and waiting for the others to come up.
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On the seventeenth, started early in the morning and crossed a deep river.
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I heard that in these province there live in olden times a chieftain of
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man. He had thousand and ten thousand webs of cloth woven, and dieped
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them for bleaching in the river which now flows over the place where his great
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house stood. Four of the large gate posts remained standing in the river.
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Hearing the people composing poems about this place, I in my mind have I
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not seen erecting the river, these solid timbers of the olden time? How
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could I know? How could I feel the story of the house. That
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evening we lotched the beach of Gualdo. The white sands stretched far and wide.
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The pinewood was dark, the moon was bright and the soft blowing of
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the wind made me lonely. People were pleased and composed poems. My poem
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for this night only they ottow moon at Kuodo Beach shall shine for me.
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For this night only I cannot sleep. Early in the morning we left this
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place and came to the a Futoi River on the bundary between Shimafusa and Musashi.
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We lotched the ferry at Matsusato near Kagami's rabbits, and all night long
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our luggaate was being carried over. My nurse had lost her husband and gave
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breath to her child at the boundary of the province, so we had to
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go up to the royal city separately. I was longing for my nurse and
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wanted to go to see her, and was brought there by my elder brother
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in his arms. We though in a temporary lodging, covered ourselves with warm
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conambatting. But my nurse, as there was no man to take care of
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her, was lying in a wild place and covered only with charismatic She was
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in her red dress. The monk came in, lighting up everything, and
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in the moonlight she looked transparent. I thought her very white and pure.
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She wept and caressed me, and I was loth to leave her. Even
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when I went with lingering heart, her image remained with me, and there
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was no interest in the changing scenes. The next morning we crossed the river
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in a ferry boat in our palanquins. The person who had come with us
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thus far in their own conveyances went back from this place. We who were
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going up to the royal city, stay here for a while to follow them
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with our eyes. And as it was a parting for life, all wept.
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Even my childish heart felt sorrow. Now it is a province of Musashi.
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There is no charm in this place. The sun of the beaches is
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not white, but like mouth. People say that purple grass grows in the
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fields of Musashi, but it is only a waste of various kinds of reeds,
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which grows so high that we cannot see the vows of our horsemen,
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who are forcing their way through the tall grass. Going through these reeds,
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I saw a ruined temple called Takeshivadra. There were also the foundation stones of
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a house with corridor. What place is it? I asked, and they
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answered, Once upon a time, nearly the reckless adventurer at Takeshiva, he
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was offered to the king's palace by the governor as a guard to keep the
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watch fire. He was once sweeping the garden in front of a prince's room
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and singing, ah me, ah me, my wary doom to labor here
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in the palace, seven good wine jars Hawaii, and three in my province.
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There were days ten I have hung straight stemp words of the finest.
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They turned to the west when tha is wind blows. They turned to the
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east when the west wind blows. They turned to the north when the south
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wind blows. They turned to the south when the north wind blows. And
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there I sit watching them, turning and turning forever. Oh my guards,
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oh my wine jars. He was singing thus alone. But just then a
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princess, the King's favorite daughter, was sitting alone behind the missu. She
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came forward, and, leaning again the door post, listened to the man
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singing. She was very interested to think how guards were above the windeers and
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how they were turning, and wanted to see them. She became very sellows
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of the gourds, and pushing up the blind, called the guard, saying,
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man, come here. The man heard it very respectfully, and with
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great reverence, drew near the balustrade. Let me hear once more what you
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have been saying, and he sang again about his wine years. I must
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go and see them. I have my own reason for saying, so,
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said the princess. He felt great all, but he made up his mind
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and went down towards the eastern province. He feared that men would pursue them.
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At that night, placing the princess on the saddle bridge, broke a
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part of it away, and bounding over with the princess on his back,
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arrived at his needy place. After seven days and seven nights journey. The
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king and Queen were greatly surprised when they found the princess was lost, and
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began to search for her. Someone said that a king's guard from the province
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of Musashi, carrying something of exquisite fragrance on his back, had been seen
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fleeing towards the east. So they sought for that guard, and he was
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not to be found. They said, doubless, this man went back home.
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The royal government sent messengers to pursue them, but when they got to
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the Seta bridge, they found it broke and they could not go farther.
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In the third month, however, the messengers arrived at Musashi province and sought
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for the man. The princess gave audience to the messengers and said, I,
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for some reason hered for this man's home and bade him carry me here.
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So he has carried me. If these men were punished and kill,
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what should I do. This is a very good place to live in.
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It must have been settled before I was born that I should leave my trace
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in this province. Go back and tell the king. So so the messenger
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could not refuse her, and went back to tell the king about it.
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The king said, it is hopeless. Though I punish the man, I
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cannot bring back the princess, nor is it me to bring them back to
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the royal city. As long as the man of Takeshiva lives, I cannot
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give Musashi province to him, but I will entrust it to the princess.
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In this way, it happened that a palace was built there in the same
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style as a royal palace, and the princess was pleased there. When she
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died, they met it into a temple called Takeshivadhra. The descendants of the
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princess received the family name of Musashi. After that, the guards of the
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watchfire were women. We went through a waste, the reeds of various kinds
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forcing our way through the tall grass. There is the river Asuda, along
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the border of Musashi and Sagami, where at the ferry Arihara. Narihira had
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composed his famous poem in the buk of his poetical works. The river is
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called the river is Sumida. We cross it in a boat, and it
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is a province of Sagami. The mountain range called Nishitomi is like falling screens
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with good pictures. On the left hand, we saw a very beautiful beach
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with long drawn curves of wide waves. There was a place there called Morokashigahara,
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where stands are wonderfully white. Two or three days we journeyed along that
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shore. A man said, in summer, pale and deep Japanese pinks bloomed
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there and make the field like brocade. As it is autumn. Now we
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cannot see them, but I saw some pinks scatter about, blooming pitiably.
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They said, it is funny that Japanese pinks are blooming in the Chinese field.
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There is a mountain cold a Cigara, which stands for ten and more
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miles and is covered with thig woods even to its base. We could have
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only an occasional glimpse of the sky, with lodging a hot at the foot
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of the mountain. It was a dark, moonless night. I felt myself
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followed up and lost in the darkness. When three singers came from somewhere.
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One was about fifty years old, the second twenty, and the third about
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fourteen or fifteen. We set them down in front of our lodging, and
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a karakaza was spread for them. My servant lighted a fire so that we
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saw them. They said that they were the descendants of a famous singer called
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They had very long hair which hung over their foreheads. Their faces were white
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and clean, and this seem rather like maids serving in noblemen's families. They
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had clear, sweet voices, and their beautiful singing seemed to reach the heavens.
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All were charmed and taking great interest to made them come nearer. Some
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one said, the singers of the wester province are inferior to them, And
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at this the singer's closer song, with the words if we are compared with
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those of Naniwa. They were pretty and neatly dressed, with voices of rare
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beauty, and they were wandering away into this fearful mountain. Even tears skined
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to those eyes which followed them as far as they could be seen. And
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my childish heart was unwilling to leave this roose shelter frequented by these singers.
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Next morning we cross over the mountain. Words cannot express my feary. In
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the midst of it, clouds rolled beneath our feet. Half Way over there
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was an open space with a few trees. Here we saw a few leaves
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of aoi. People praised it and thought strange that in this mountain, so
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far from the human world, was growing such a sacred plant. We met
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with three rivers in the mountain and crossed them with difficulty. That day we
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stop at t seki Yama. Now we're in Suruga Province. We passed a
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place called Iwatsubo by the barrier of Jokovasity. There was an indescribably large square
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rock through a hole in which very cold water came rushing out. Mount Fuji
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is in this province, In the province where I was brought up, I
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saw that mountain far towards the west. The tower saw painted with deep blue
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and covered with the turnal snow. It seems that it wears a dress of
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deep violet and a white veil over its shoulders. From the little level place
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of the top, smoke was going up in the evening. We even saw
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burning fires there. The Fuji River comes tumbling down from the mountain. A
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man of the province came up to us and told us a story. Once
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I went on an errand it was a very hot day, and I was
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resting on the bank of the stream when I saw something yellow calm floating down.
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It came to the bank of the river and stuck there. I paid
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it up and found it to be a scrap of yellow paper with words elegantly
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written on it in Cinnabar. Wondering much, I read it. On the
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paper was a prophecy of the governors to be appointed next year as to his
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province. There were written the names of two governors. I wonder more and
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more, and writing the paper kept it. When the day of the announcement
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came. This paper held no mistake, and the men who became the governor
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of this province died after three months, and the other succeeded him. There
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are such things. I think that the gods assembled there on that mountain to
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settle the first of each new year. At Kiyomigaseki, where we saw the
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Siona left, there were many houses for the keepers of the warriers. Some
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of the palisades went even into the sea. At Taganoda waves were high.
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From there we went along by boat. We went with these over Numaditi and
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came to the river of Oi, such a torrent. I have never seen
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water white as if thickened with rice. Floor ran fast. I became ill,
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and now it is a province of Totomi. I had almost lost consciousness
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when I crossed the mountain pass of sayon Ona Kayama. I was quite exhausted.
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So when we came to the bank of the Dani river, we had
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a temporary dwelling built and passed several days there, and I got better.
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As the winter was already advanced, the wind from the river blew hard and
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it became intolerable. After crossing the river, we went towards the bridge at
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Hamana. When we had gone down towards these there had been a log bridge,
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but this time we could not find even the trace of it, so
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we had to cross in a boat. The bridge had been lay across an
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inland bay. The waves of the outer sea were very high, and we
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could see them through the thick pine trees which grew scattered over the sandy point
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which stretched between us and the sea. They seemed to strike across the ends
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of the pine branches and shine like jewels. It was an interesting sight.
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We went forwards and crossover in Ohana and unspeakably wary as sun it was,
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and then came to Takasi shore of the province of Mikawa. We passed a
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place called eight Bridges, but it was only a name, no bridge,
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and no pretty sight. In the mountain of Utamura, we made our camp
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under a big persimon tree. The fruit fell down during the night over our
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camps and people picked it up. We passed Mount Miyaji, where we saw
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red leaves still although it was the first day of the tenth month. Furious
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mountain winds in their passing must spare this spot for red maple leaves are clinging
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even yet to the branch. There was afford of if I can between Mikawa
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and Nowari. It is amusing to think how difficult the crossing was. Indeed,
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we passed Naru Mishor in the province of Owari. The evening tides were
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coming in and we thought if they came higher, we could not cross,
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so in a panic, we ran as fast as we could. At the
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border of Mino, we crossed a ferry called Kuramata and arrivat Nogami. There
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singers came again, and they sang all night. Lovingly. We thought of
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the singers of Ashigara. Snow came and in the storm we passed the barrier
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at Fuja and over the mounta Tsumi, having no heart to look at the
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beautiful sights in the province of Omi, we stayed four or five days in
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the house at Okinaga, at the foot of Mitsusaka Mountain. Light, rain
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fell night and day meets with hail. It was so melancholy that we left
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there and passed by Inugami, Kanzaki and Yasu without receiving any impressions. The
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lake stretched far and wide, and we caught occasional glimpses of Natashima and Chikubushima
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islands. It was a very pretty sight. We had great difficulty at the
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bridge of Seta, for it had fallen in We stopped at Awasu and arrived
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at the royal city after dark on the second day of the finishing month.
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When we were near the barrier, I saw the face of a roughly hewn
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buddha sixteen feet high, which towered over a rude fence. Serene and indifferent
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to its surroundings, it stood on regard her in the deserted place, but
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I, passing by, received a message from it. Among so many provinces
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through which I had passed, the barriers at Kiyomirata and Osaka were far better
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than the others. It was dark when I arrived at the residence on the
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west of the Princess of Sancho's mansion. Our garden was very wide, and
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while with great fearful trees, not inferior to those mountains I had come from,
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I could not feel at home or keep a settle mind. Even then,
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I tis Mother into giving me books of stories, after which I had
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been yearning for so many years. Mother sent a messenger with a letter to
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emmon No Miyogu, one of our relatives who served the Princess of Sancho.
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She took interest in my strange passion, and willingly sent me some excellent manuscripts
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in the lead of a writing box, saying that these copies had been given
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her by the Princess. I join you no bounds, and I read them
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day and night. I soon began to wish for more, but as I
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was another stranger to the royal city, who would get them for me.
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My stepmother had once been a lady waiting at the court, and she seemed
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to have been disappointed in something. She had been regretting the world, and
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now she was to leave our home. She begoned her own child, who
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was five years old, and said, the time will never come when I
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shall forget you, dear heart, and pointing to a huge plum tree which
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grew close to the eaves, said when it is in flower, I shall
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come back. And she went away. I felt love and pity for her,
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and while I was secretly weeping, the year two went away. When
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the planm tree blooms, I shall come back. I pondered over these words,
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and wonder whether it would be. So. I waited and waited,
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with my eye hung to the tree. It was all in flower, and
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yet no tidings from her. I became very anxious, broke a branch and
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sent it to her. You gave me words of hope. Are they not
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long delayed? The plant tree is remembered by the spring, though it seemed
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dead with frost. She wrote back affectionate words with a poem, Wait on,
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never forsake your hope, for when the plum tree is in flower,
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even the unpromised, the unexpected will come to you During the spring. The
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world was his quieted, my nurse who had filled my heart with pity.
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On that moonlight night at the Fort of Masusato night, on the month birthday
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of the ever growing month, I lamented hopelessly, without any way to set
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my mind at this, and even forgot my passion for romances. I passed
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day after day weeping bitterly, And when I first looked out of the doors,
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I saw the evening sun on cherry blossoms, all falling in confusion.
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Flowers are falling, yet I may see them again when spring returns. But
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oh my longing for the dear person who has departed from us forever. I
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also heard that the daughter of the first adviser to the king was lost.
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I could sympathize deeply with the Sorro, her Lord the Lieutenant General, for
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I still felt my own sorrow. When I had first arrived at the capital,
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I had been given a book of the handwriting of this noble lady for
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my copy book. In it were written several poems, among them the following,
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When you see the smoke floating of the valley of Torribe Hill, then
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you will understand me, who seemed as shadowed like even while living. I
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looked at these poems, which were written in such a beautiful handwriting, and
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I shed more tears. I sat brooding until mother troubled herself to console me.
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She searched for romances and gave them to me, and I became consoled.
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Unconsciously. I read a few volumes of gerdimonogatari and long for the rest,
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but as I was still a stranger here, I had no way of
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finding them. I was all impatience and yearning, and in my mind was
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always praying that I might read all the books of Gendi Monogatari from the very
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first one. While my parents were shutting themselves up in utsa massa temple,
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I asked them for nothing except these romance, wishing to read it as soon
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as I could get it, but all in vain. I was inconsolable.
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One day I visited my aunt, who had recently come up from the country.
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She showed a tender interest in me and lovingly said I had grown up
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beautifully. On my return, she said, what shall I give you?
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You will not be interested in serious things. I'll give you what you like
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best, and she gave me more than fifty volumes of Gendi Monogatari put in
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a case, as well as Isemonogatari Yojimi said, I Kawa, Shirata and
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Asauzu. How happy I was when I came home carrying these books in a
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bag. Until then I had only read a volume here and there, and
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was dissatisfied because I could not understand the story. Now I could be absorbed
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in these stories, taking them out one by one, shutting myself in behind
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that kicho. To be a queen were nothing compared to this. All day
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and all night, as late as I could keep my eyes open, I
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did nothing but look at the books, setting a lamp close beside me.
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Soon I learned by heart all the names in the books, and I thought
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that a great thing. Once I dreamt of a holy priest in yellow booty
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scarp who came to me and said, learned the fifth book of the hoo
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Kee Kio at once. I did not tell any one about this, nor
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I had any mind to learn it, but continued to bathe in the romances.
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Although I was still ugly and undeveloped. The time would come when I
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should be beautiful beyond compare with long long hair. I should be like the
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lady you go law by the shining Prince Kenji, or like the lady yu
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Kifuni, the wife of the General of Fuji. I indulge in such fancies,
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shallow mind that I was indeed to such a man as a shining prince
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be living in this world? How could General Gauru find such a beauty as
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Lady Kiffune to concealing his secret villain atuji oh, I was like a crazy
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girl. While I had lived in the country, I had gone to the
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temple from time to time, but even then I could never pray like others
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with a pure heart. In those days, people learned to recite sutras and
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practice austerities of religious observance after the age of seventeen or eighteen, but I
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could scarcely even think of such matters. The only thing that I could think
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of was the shining Prince, who would some day come to me as noble
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and beautiful as in the Romans, if he can only once a year,
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I be hidden in a mountain villa like Lady Ukifune would be content, I
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could leave as a heart twin bling lee, as a lady looking at flowers
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or only snowy landscape, occasionally receiving long expected love the letters from my lord.
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I cherish such fancies and imagine that they might be realized. On the
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mould bird of the rises proud mouth, I saw the wide petals of the
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tatchivana tree near the house, covering the ground scarce had my man received with
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wonder the thought of newly fallen snow, seeing the ground lie white. When
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the scent of tatchivana flowers arose from fallen blossoms in our garden, trees grew
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as thick as in the dark forests of Fasigara, and in the gods absent
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months. Its red leaves were more beautiful than those of the surrounding mountains.
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A visitor sat on my way thither I passed a place where red leaves were
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beautiful and I improvised, no sight can be more autumnal than that of my
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garden, tenanted by an autumnal person. Weary of the world, I still
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dwelt in the roomanses from morning to night, and as long as I was
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awake, I had another dream. A man said that he was to make
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a brook in the garden of the Hezagon Tower to entertain the Empress of the
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first rank of honor. I guess the reason, and the man said,
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pray to the heaven illuminating honor Goddess. I did not tell anyone about this
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dream, or even think of it again. How shallow I was. In
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the spring, I enjoyed the prince's garden, cherry blossoms waited for cherry blossoms
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lamented over in spring. I loved the flowers, whether in her garden or
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in mine. On the moon hidden day of the ever growing month, I
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started for a certain person's house to avoid the evil influence of the earth God.
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There I saw delightful cherry blossoms still on the tree. And the day
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after my return I sent this poem alone without tiring. I guess, at
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the cherry blossom of your garden, the spring was closing they were about to
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fall. Always, when the flowers came and went, I could think of
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nothing but those days when my nurse died, and saddness descended upon me,
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which grew deeper when I studied the handwriting of the honor daughter of the first
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Adviser. Once, in the rise of proud month, when I was a
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plaine reading a romans, I heard a cat mewing with a long drawn out
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cry. I turned wondering and saw a very lovely cat. Whence does it
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come, I asked, said my sister, Do not tell anybody. It
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is a darling cat, and we will keep it. The cat was very
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sociable and lay beside us. Someone might be looking for her, we thought,
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so we kept her secretly. She kept herself aloof from the vulgar servants,
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always sitting quietly before us. She turned her face away from unclean foot,
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never eating it. She was tenderly cared for and caressed by us.
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Once sister was ill and the family was rather upset, the cat was kept
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in the room facing the north, a servant's room, and never once cold.
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She cried loudly and scoldingly. Yet I thought it better to keep her
33:32
away, and did so. Sister, suddenly, awakening, said to me
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where is the cat kept? Bring her here? I asked why, and
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sister said, in my dream. The cat came to my side and said,
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I am the altar form of the late honored daughter of the first adviser
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to the king. There was a slight cause for this. Your sister has
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been thinking of me affectionately. So I am here for a while, but
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now I am among the servants. Oh how dreary, I am, so,
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saying she cat bitterly. She appeared to be a noble and beautiful person,
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And then I awoke to hear the cat crying. How pitiful. The
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story moved me steply, and after this I never sent the cat away to
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the north facing groom, but waiting on her lovingly. Once, when I
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was sitting alone, she came and sat before me, and stroking her head,
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I addressed her, you are the first daughter of the noble adviser.
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I wish to let your father know of it. The cat watched my face
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and me out, lengthening her voice. It may be my fancy, but
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as I was watching her, she seemed no common cat. She said,
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m to understand my words, and I pity her. I had heard that
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a certain person possessed that Chuhunka retold from the original of the Chinese poet N
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Taipo. I longed to borrow it, but was too shy to say so.
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On the seventh day of the seventh month, I found a happy means
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to send my word. This is a night when in the agent passed,
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I heard their staring bark to meet the weaving one in its sweet remembrance.
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The wave rises high in the river of heaven. Even so sells my heart
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to see the famous book. The answer was the star God's met on the
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shore of the heavenly river like there's full of ecstasies my heart, and grave
35:51
things of daily life are forgotten. On the night your message comes to me.
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On the thirteenth day of that month, the moon shone very brightly.
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Darkness was chased away even from every corner of the heavens. It was about
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midnight, and all were asleep. We were sitting on the varandah. My
36:15
sister, who was gazing at the sky, thoughtfully said, if I flew
36:20
away now, leaving no trace behind, what would you think of it?
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She saw that her words shocked me, and she turned the conversation lightly to
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other things, and we laughed. Then I heard a carriage with her honor,
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before it stopped near the house. The man in the carriage called out,
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O ye know ha, o ye know ha twice, but no woman
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made reply. The man cried in vain until he was tired of it,
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and played his flute more and more searchingly in a very beautiful reupling melody,
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and at last drove away flood musing in the night autumn Wayne, sighing,
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why does the red live make no reply? Thus I tell him to my
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sister, and she took it up alas light of heart, who could so
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soon give over playing the wind, did not wait for the response of the
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reed lif We sat together, looking up into the firmament, and went to
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bed after daybreak. At midnight of that day, Autie a month a fire
37:34
broke out, and the cat, which had been waited on as the daughter
37:38
of the first Adviser, was born to death. She had been used to
37:45
come yowing whenever I called her by the name of that lady, as if
37:50
she had understood me. My father said that he would tell the matter to
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the first Adviser, for it is a strange and heartbelt story. I was
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very, very sorry for her. Our new temporary shelter was far narrower than
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the other. I was sad for we had a very small garden and no
38:14
trees. I thought it regret of the old spacious garden, which was wild
38:20
as a deep wood, and in time of flowers and red leaves, the
38:24
sight of it was never inferior to the surrounding mountains. In the garden of
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the opposite house, white and red plum blossoms grew in confusion, and their
38:36
perfume came on the wind and filled me with thoughts of our old home.
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When from the neighboring garden that perfume ladin air saturates my soul with memories,
38:47
rises the thought of the beloved plum tree blooming under the eaves of the house,
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which is gone. On the montweth of the rice's proud month, my
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sister died after giving birth to a child. From childhood, even a stranger's
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dead had touched my heart deeply. This time I lamented, filled with speechless
39:15
pity and sorrow. While mother and the others were with the dead, I
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lay with the memory awakening children, one on either side of me. The
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moonlight found its way through the cracks of the roof and illumined the face of
39:31
the baby. The sight gave my heart so deep a pang that I covered
39:37
its face with my sleeve, and with the other child closer to my side,
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mothering the unfortunate and of section one