Latest / Modern Sacred: Women's Work / Meditation for Modern Women: From Crisis Meditation to Deep Daily Practice
Transcript
- Abby: Welcome back everyone to another episode of the Modern Sacred Podcast. We are so thrilled to have Nicole Chelsea Henderson: Mm. Abby: Adams here with us today. Nicole, welcome. We are thrilled to get to talk to you and hear your story. Chelsea Henderson: Totally. Abby: Yay! just Nichole Adams: Thank you. Abby: a little intro. Nicole and I have known each other. for years, I feel like at this point, right? Like many years, and started out as a coach client relationship that then has blossomed and bloomed and grown into a beautiful friendship. And we've taken courses together, we've taken trainings that are the same, and just have become really, really amazing friends and I just feel so blessed to have Nicole in my life. be definitely a kindred spirit and a soul sister. So I'm so excited to have you here today. Let me just pull up your bio here. So Nicole Adams of many things is also a certified Masters of Wisdom and Meditation teacher through the David G, Meditation Academy, as well as a certified holding space practitioner and deep transformational coach through the Center of Transformational Coaching. She's also a certified independent health coach, an avid lover of dance, meditation, music, books, learning, animals, cacao, and nature. Yay! Welcome Nicole, and we're so excited to have you. Chelsea Henderson: Seriously so excited. Well, Nichole Adams: Thank you. I'm excited to be here. Chelsea Henderson: I'll say too that I've had the benefit now of becoming friends with you. And it I just I hope we s we started before we started recording, we had our little moment of silence and not silence, but we had our embodiment moment, which thank you, Abby, for putting that in front of us 'cause I I didn't even realize how much I needed it. And I just wanted to reflect with some gratitude. I'm I'm feeling abundance becoming like a trig triggering trendy word but I the the original meaning of it stands for me. I'm really grateful to have been connected with you two beautiful women. women and I'm so grateful for my friendship with Abby that has then blossomed into my friendship with Nicole. And I think Nicole to me, you really represent the the reminder of how vast this world is. Like every time I think I'm on an island, you know, there's just there's only a few people out there who think like me and it feels lonely and I feel going against the grain. And then I meet someone like you and it's like no, there's so many people out there who are interested in in self-knowing and in being better people and in being better stewards of this world and it just makes me feel so grateful. So I just wanted to start by saying that I am so grateful to call you my friend and to be in this space with both of you today. So I just want to start on that selfish personal note of thanking you both. Making bringing it back to me. Now let's go back to you. Nichole Adams: I love it. Thank you for sharing that. I feel the same because sometimes it Chelsea Henderson: Need. Nichole Adams: can feel very isolating and you're not sure if you have other people that are feeling, experiencing the world the way that you are. So it's beautiful to meet other kindred spirits. Chelsea Henderson: Mm, yes. Yes, yes, yes. Abby: Definitely. So Nicole, obviously, I'd have known you for several years and had a a r seat. I don't know if it's a front row seat or a a passenger seat. I've had a seat at some of the table of your transformational journey and I know it extends so far beyond when we met and and it's just continuing. And I would love to kind of introduce our audience to who you are and And your journey. So we'll start how we always start, which is, do you have any like, you know, whether it's Enneagram or I Myers Briggs or Astrology, Human Design, anything that you kind of have related to where you're like, yeah, that's me and that encompasses me just to help our audience be like, I'm that too, or I know someone who's like that. Nichole Adams: Yeah, I have to be honest, I wasn't super familiar with some of the ones that you mentioned until I listened to the podcast. So then I got curious and started looking them up to see what I potentially would fall into. I've done a lot of corporate personality type testing and I don't remember any of them because I'm a different human now. So I don't know if they hold Abby: Because Nichole Adams: true the same. So I don't remember those. I had Myers-Briggs and StrengthsQuest and StrengthsFinders and Colors and all that stuff. But recently I did the human design and I'm a manifesting generator, which I didn't know what that was. Are you? my gosh. Abby: Hey, me too. Nichole Adams: It's I haven't gotten into it. Chelsea Henderson: It doesn't surprise me, you guys are the same. Nichole Adams: I haven't gotten into it a lot, but it's been eye opening to be like, I'm actually like that. It feels. I don't know, there's a level of permission to it and we can get into that as I share more about my story, but to learn what that means and that I'm drawn to different things and that's okay and that lights me up. What used to feel like I was just flaky is actually part of who I am. So that's been kind of cool to play around with that. I'm also a non-specific manifester, which also been going against the grain all these years. So that's been kind of Abby: Ha ha ha. Nichole Adams: cool to realize. And then Enneagram, that's really new to me. And I did do the assessment and I'm a two, which is the helper and I had a wing but I already forgot what it was and I forgot to take a picture of it. So something to explore later on. But yeah, to the helper. So anybody who knows me who may be listening, they're like, yeah, that tracks. And then my zodiac sign is a Libra. So the scales and balance. Don't remember the rising things. I'm still learning all of that, but I'm really interested in it. It's fascinating. Abby: That's amazing. It it you're similar to me, no surprise, where I'm like, I know what I am, but I don't really know what it means. I'm like, I I I know I'm a cancer, Chelsea Henderson: In the same way. Abby: but I don't know what that really means. Sorry. Chelsea Henderson: I do know whenever I've read about it, it really resonates, right? Like that's I'm like it it Abby: Exactly. Exactly. Nichole Adams: Yes, yes. Chelsea Henderson: means something to me. I just you know, that's not the kind of memory I have anyway. Ask me what my favorite band is. Abby: Yeah. Nichole Adams: Well, being a manifesting generator, I'm like, now I'm interested and I'll go read that for like a day and then I'll drop it and be like, what was that Abby: Exactly. Nichole Adams: again? And then I'll go find something else and read that for like Chelsea Henderson: Hmm. Nichole Adams: two weeks and then I leave it. So it's that's been really liberating to understand that part of my personality type Abby: Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: I love that you said permission Nichole Adams: or self. Chelsea Henderson: too. That felt really cool Abby: Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: to me because that is a great way to describe what that all feels like. Of just the, right, this is something that other people are experiencing. This is something that other people are as well. Again, that kind of getting me off my island thing. I love that you say permission. I felt that Abby: Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: too with human design and diving deeper into astrology and all that. I'm like, this is permission to just be me 'cause really that's I think what we're kinda doing here is just how do we get deeper into just who we really are and just be those people without apology and I so I love that you say permission. That really that hits deep for me. Abby: Yeah, same here. Nichole Adams: become kind of a life theme the past few years. Abby: Ooh, I'm excited. Yes. Chelsea Henderson: Absolutely. Abby: Yeah, and same with being a manifesting generator of like the multipassionate multipassionate person where you get, you know, really into one thing and then don't really into another thing. And when I read through the human design and found out I was a manifesting generator, I feel like there's this faith element that I've ha I'm I'm learning to trust that it's all gonna come together. All the little Chelsea Henderson: Mm. Abby: things that I've obsessed over and really been interested in and then dropped and picked something else up at some point, it's all coming together and I I kind of feel like with Modern Sacred I'm seeing it where I'm like, I'm a cannabis expert and I'm a this expert and I'm I'm a cheap transformational coach and I'm a nurse and I'm I'm like, okay, all these things that I've felt like I've started and then dropped are all actually like making me this person that knows a lot. So great. Chelsea Henderson: Ugh. Abby: And Nichole Adams: Yes. Abby: it's there's an element of faith of like, okay, the manifesting generator, it's gonna it all has a purpose. It's just a different way to get there. Nichole Adams: Mm-hmm. Yeah, I love that. Chelsea Henderson: So well said, sweetie. That was amazing. I feel you. Well, Abby: Yay, awesome. Chelsea Henderson: so Nicole, can Abby kind of started talking about this, but I'm I want to hear more. Can you tell us your story a little bit? Because Abby and I, just as a quick side note, we we talk about you all the time. It's like you're just such an incredible representation of what we feel like we are doing, right? And what we see the other women around us doing. Like you're just this really beautiful kind of example of like just. the like you were an HR manager or something to that effect, right? Like the corporate to the embodied to the so I just I wanna hear it from your from your perspective, if you wouldn't mind sharing kind of who you are, who you've been and how you got here. Cause that to me just feels like I just wanna know it. I wanna hear it. I wanna soak it Nichole Adams: Okay, yeah, sure. We'll dive in. And Abby's heard a lot because she was my coach. And the day that I got to say, Abby, can we be friends yet? Like, when's the day where you get to actually Abby: Yeah. Nichole Adams: be friends? She's like, I want that too. I was like, we finally can do it. Yes. Chelsea Henderson: I love it. It's today Abby: Yes. It's today and and I was like, and how does friend look different than coach? Well now I get to tell you about my life Which was a big Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Nichole Adams: Yes! Abby: transition of like, like I wanna tell Nicole how my day went and and a and you know, like share that reciprocity. That's that friendship is is the back and forth. So it's been a real joy to just be like, Yeah, open my life to you and have you open your life to me and yes, it was a great day. Chelsea Henderson: Mm. Nichole Adams: Yes, thank you both for being in my life. It's been amazing so far. So, okay, well, I'll just start like backstory. I'm not going to give you my whole life story, but basically I'm the oldest in my family, oldest child of three girls. I have twin sisters that are younger than me and I've held some level of responsibility my entire life. And that has been like the foundation for everything that has I've stepped into. So I'm also a first generation college graduate and I've had a life plan probably since the fifth grade. So that tells you it's been and it was, you know, what society said, like this is what you should do. You should go to college and you should get this great job and you should buy a house and then you get married and then you have kids. And so I was like, okay, I'm going to do it. I'm going to check all the boxes and going for it. And so it's been very meticulously planned out since that age, whatever that was, Abby: Yeah. Nichole Adams: fifth grade or whatever. And I slowly went through and checked boxes. And I was the first generation college graduate. I got a business degree because I knew it would move wherever I needed to go. It was very easy to adapt. It started out in sales, and that wasn't really like advertising and sales. that, Abby: I didn't know that. Nichole Adams: yeah, didn't even make it to classes. I just picked the major. something didn't quite feel right and I thought you know I better I'm better at serving people and like being of service number two the Indian grandma helper so I switched to Abby: Yes. Chelsea Henderson: Mm. Nichole Adams: HR and that's where I went had I got my bachelor's and then I graduated during the recession so it's hard to find work so I just kind of filled in gaps and stuff but then I got my first HR role and I I did all the things. Now that I know I'm a manifesting generator, I was like, I picked up so many things. Like I was into safety. was like an OSHA officer and a safety officer. I did like active shooter training. I did employee training. did benefits and payroll and just anything you could do in HR. I was a generalist at first. I kind of did. And then I became a manager because that's the next thing you do is move up. And I felt like I was ready and I wanted to be on a leadership team. So I transitioned into that. and I worked for a manufacturing firm and that was really fun for a while. And then I went into healthcare, mental health actually, for a community mental health center. And I was very drawn to it because I had not had a good experience with my own mental healthcare. I did not, I guess maybe I didn't have the right therapist or I didn't know what I was asking for or what I needed. So I was very passionate about supporting a center that. provided great service to the community. And that's what drew me to it. And I get really involved in businesses when I work for them. It's not, don't just go in and do HR. Like I want to know everything and be in the culture and do all those types of things. So I kind of was already starting to do coaching in that role as an HR professional with employees and with my managers and stuff and with the corporation. And we actually went through a cultural evolution is what I called it. And we completely Abby: Mm-hmm. Nichole Adams: shifted the culture. in our organization. Abby: Nice. Nichole Adams: It was really powerful and it was one of Abby: That's awesome. Nichole Adams: the highlights of my career. It was painful for me though. It caused a lot of growth. I had to get a backbone in a lot of ways. It was not easy. I cried a lot. A lot of people that know me know that I cry like when I'm feeling any emotion. It's usually coming out in tears and I had to stuff that down a lot in the corporate world and sometimes it just came out. who I was, but I felt a lot of shame for that too, for just being who I was and showing up Abby: Yeah. Nichole Adams: who I needed to be. And then COVID came and COVID was like awful, but it was also kind of the highlight of my career. I mean, take safety Abby: yeah. Nichole Adams: and like crisis management and throw them together with HR and I was killing it. Chelsea Henderson: Totally. Nichole Adams: It was kind of amazing. Abby: y you're like, My moment is here. Everything I've been Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Abby: unknowingly training for Nichole Adams: Yeah, but then by the time it ended, I was like, I'm spent like HR is Chelsea Henderson: Mm. Nichole Adams: hard. It's changing all the time. I'm exhausted. I'm working nonstop. Like I worked. There are many nights I almost worked all night in the corporations that I worked for because I just really wanted to do the best that I could. So I told my organization I was going to leave and then we went through a merger acquisition and I'm like, okay, check that off the box. And I actually got offered a position as a director at the new corporation. Abby: wow. Nichole Adams: Well, the part of me that said that's what I should do was like, that's the next step, right? Like that's what you do. Chelsea Henderson: Check. Nichole Adams: And I accepted the position and I proceeded to have a nervous breakdown two weeks later Abby: Yeah. Nichole Adams: and almost ended up in the hospital because I was so It's not what my soul wanted, but I didn't understand Abby: Mm. Chelsea Henderson: Right. Nichole Adams: what that meant at that time. Abby: Mm. Nichole Adams: Um, so I eventually did turn it down and in the midst of all of this, I, uh, became a health coach. actually went on a health journey and I lost 96 pounds of fat from my body during Abby: Amazing. Nichole Adams: about a year and a half. It took me about a year and a half. And I started that during COVID. So then when we came back to the office, I was like a different person and my coaching practice started to pick up. So I decided, well, I'm gonna do health coaching full-time. And I did that for a couple of years after I finally left HR and had my nervous breakdown. Thankfully I did. I told my husband, I'm like, I'm either gonna end up in the hospital or I'm going to do a different career. And he was like, well, obviously we have to do a different career. Abby: He's like, I have a preference. I don't know, what's your preference? Nichole Adams: Yeah, Chelsea Henderson: The choice seems clear. Nichole Adams: but I felt kind of bad because some of my life up to that point became like this or that. It's like either this or it's that. And there wasn't a lot of gray Abby: Yeah. Yeah. Nichole Adams: in between, but I think I was so dysregulated. It's like, this is what it's going to be. So then I did that and then I kind of hit a crossroads again and something just fell off like. I should Abby: Mm. Nichole Adams: have been at the top. I'm a business owner now. I'm supporting people. I'm doing something I'm passionate about. I'm surrounded by people that I love in a supportive environment. Something just still felt off. And so I told somebody that I was at a retreat and I said, I need a therapist or a coach, but I need somebody to help me because I'm, I should not feel this way with what I have. Like I'm checking all the boxes. What is going on? Why am I not having this dream life? Abby: Yeah. Nichole Adams: And somebody mentioned, and I'm like, I'm skeptical about therapists, you know, because of my background and everything. And somebody had thrown out Abby's name. So I contacted her and that's when a Abby: Yeah. Nichole Adams: lot of unraveling started to happen in a good way. Abby: Yeah. Nichole Adams: I came to her at first and it was very corporatey. I'm like, I want to set up my values and I want to know more about myself. And then it turned into this amazing, like deep spiritual journey, which I hadn't been in touch with that part of myself. in a long time and it's still very new to me. So it's been quite the change. And in the last year and a half, I went to a retreat and then I signed up for all these other certification programs. And I kind of went into hibernation for a year and was like, okay, now it's time to peel back all the layers and start to figure out what's going on and how I'm feeling and what I really want and connect with myself instead of just doing all the things I felt like I should be doing. Because in lab Abby told me this in a coaching session once she's like Or maybe you didn't tell me but we were talking about it. She's like you've been climbing this ladder All this time to Abby: Yeah. Nichole Adams: get up to the point to notice that you're facing the wrong wall and Abby: Yep. Nichole Adams: I'm like Damn it. Yes Abby: Mm. Mm. Yeah. Yep. Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: Indeed. Nichole Adams: I was pissed. I gotta tell people when I get Chelsea Henderson: Indeed. Nichole Adams: to my point of my crossroads, I get pissed and I'm like, well that sucks. Abby: You're like I climbed all the way up here and Chelsea Henderson: No, seriously. Then there. Abby: Yeah. Nichole Adams: I mean, I did all the things. I even bought my first house at age 28. Like, I was like, by myself. Like, these... Abby: Wow. Wow. Nichole Adams: I'm doing the things. And I got me an amazing husband, but I told him there was a timeline. I'm like, we're only dating this long and then we got to get married because then we got to have kids. Abby: Yeah. Nichole Adams: And then now I don't even know if I, you know, well, we've tried to have children and it hasn't quite worked out. So I'm OK and at peace with not having them now. But, yeah, all these things. I'm kind of all over the place. Anyway, that... Kind of brings me to, I did this journey and then I did the coaching program and that was less about me learning how to become a coach and more about me finding myself. And that's what came from that. And through that, I also discovered that I love meditation, which we can talk more about all of that too, so. Abby: Yes. Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: I I mean you say you're all over the place and I feel like you're right on. I feel like it's the that's the journey, right? Like Mama Gina talks about it as the rupture, right? You're saying the crossroads, like these different the un or you said sorry, the unraveling, right? It's that those moments of just Abby: Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: I think it's a really interesting experience to grow up in a culture like ours where we are privileged enough to have safety and freedom. as women especially and and choice and it's incredible. Abby: Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: And a lot of times in this culture where it's kind of a snake eating its own tail, you do check off all those boxes. And I think the more self aware you become along that journey, the more likely you are to hit those moments and be like, what the hell? Like I did all the things and I still feel disconnected. I feel maybe just straight up bad, right? Like and not bad as in like sometimes I feel bad bad as in like I feel overarchingly bad, right? Like or just Abby: Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: unfulfilled. And I think that that happens to a lot of us. At least that's a commonality that I feel with a lot of women like you both in my life where we both kind of did all the things that we were told to do and just kept looking around going, What what what? Like Abby: Yeah. When d why don't I feel better? Chelsea Henderson: I I checked every box. And I and this just and and you're the way you said that, Nicole, nailed it for me. The dis damn it. Like, like I'm here Abby: Yeah. Yeah. It's Chelsea Henderson: and I I just I don't understand. And and I think that, you know, whether it's like deepening spirituality, whether it's deepening self knowing, whether it's deepening connection to ourselves and each other, I don't really know. Maybe for me it's been a combination of all those things. But there is definitely something I mean, my gosh, if we've said it once, we've said it a thousand times, but like modern sacred, right? Like it is that, you know, we can check off all those boxes in this modern world, but for many, many, many of us, I would say most of us arguably, it's just not enough until we bring in some of of what has come before us. Some Abby: The sacred. Chelsea Henderson: of our the sacred, right? Well from our our ancestors, Abby: Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: our legac the our history and you know, building our own legacies. And, you know, I think that there's components that aren't on that list that culture and society gives us that we have to go back and add and share with each other to check off to really kind of make it a more wholesome, well-rounded, fulfilling experience. Because I I mean, I feel your whole story top to bottom. I did all those things, even when I didn't want to. That never a lot of that shit never even resonated with me. And I was like, well, this is what everybody else is doing. So if I don't do it, then I'm likely to be kicked out of the pack here. I don't wanna do that. So I'm gonna try to do it. And then I did it and was like, this is not not the thing. And yeah. Abby: Yeah. Yeah. Nichole Adams: Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: Feels like a bait and switch a little bit. So I feel like for me it's always about, okay, I'm not gonna go live in the woods by myself, right? So I'm gonna check these boxes. But I gotta bring my own checklist and and kind of mush those two together and and check Abby: Mm-hmm. Chelsea Henderson: all of it off. Otherwise I'm just not This is hollow. It's just not enough. Abby: Yeah, yeah. I feel like with the formation of the ego, I'm just reminded of that program that you and I both took. We took it at t separate times, but it's the same program, the Deep Coaching Intensive, and they talk about the ego and the th this the formation of the ego and how you have their kind of premise is that you have this beautiful, divine source, essence at the middle. And then we'll build up all these layers to protect that. And what I hear hear in your story and in my story and in many people's stories is like at some point you yeah, fifth grade, you're like, Okay, here's my plan. And I had that too. And it was like, here's my plan to reach like safety and security and stability, because like that is a very deep that was a very deep need for me. But and then you get there. You're like, Okay, I've done the things, I've checked the boxes. And then there's this that little light inside says, okay, remember why we did all of this though. We did Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Abby: all of this so that I could feel safe to come out again. Like if we don't at some point say, Okay, now I have a good job or or whatever, I'm married, I have a loving partner, and and partner, partner. And it's Chelsea Henderson: Mm. Nichole Adams: You Abby: like, yeah, if I just keep climbing. then I'm I'm missing the whole point of why f five year old Abby really needed stability and and safety and and all of that, which was so that at some point she could come out and play and feel safe to do so. And it's like there was that there's that moment where we kind of like I feel like our soul skids like in the cartoon where it's like it's like, wait well Nichole Adams: Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: Mm-hmm. Abby: like w at what point do we stop doing that and get to like do the stuff that is fun and cool and Chelsea Henderson: Mm-hmm. Abby: like You know, get to look at feathers and stuff that, you know, we get to do and yeah, and I'll just to r reflect, I thought this could be fun. I just had a memory of so one of our first kind of coaching sessions, I think it was in the beginning. Like you said, it was you used the word corpority of like, okay, goal setting and things like that. And I remember we were working through doing versus being. That kind of came up at one point and Then we did brain breaks, which was like a 30-minute lunch, basically. Like what would it look like to instead of wake up in the morning and go until evening and eat at the desk? Like, what does it look like to pause work even though you're not at an office? Because sometimes when you work from home, it's hard to be like, I'm done working, I'm taking a lunch break, I'm going back. It's easy to just keep working or whatever. And it was like this brain break and that unleashed a whole question of what does it mean to be a human being and not Chelsea Henderson: Mm. Abby: a human doing. And I wonder Chelsea Henderson: Wow. Abby: if you remember that or what reflections you might have on that now. Nichole Adams: Oh yeah, I remember. I remember the like crisis of identity that happened in so many sessions. Yeah, and I do want to go back just for a minute about the layers Abby: Yes. Nichole Adams: because when you were talking about that's what all of this has been and what my true kind of awakening through all of this is, is I have been conditioned and conditioning myself my entire life and I think a lot of people have too that I did not, I lost touch of who I actually was. I didn't even know who I was anymore. I just became the person that I thought I was supposed to be. So when I had these moments or these crisis of identity, as I like to call them, I was terrified. It was all about the safety. like, if not this, then what? And I have nothing for the, then what? And there was nothing that felt safe enough to step into that. So. I didn't even know what I liked anymore. Like I had learned things that maybe I enjoyed, but like thinking about what a young version of myself or the childlike version of myself was like, I had lost touch with all of that. I wasn't even really sure anymore. And it's because of the safety. Like there was not enough space to feel safe. And that was, I do remember that was a big revelation when working with you and towards the end of our time together. I'm like, I finally feel safe within myself. Abby: I remember that, yeah. Nichole Adams: Like I am safe. And that came from the brain breaks. That was like the Abby: Mm-hmm. Nichole Adams: start. yes, brain breaks were terrifying to me, even having a moment of stillness and quiet to myself where I was not doing something and producing something, improving my worth. I struggle with productivity based self-worth. That is just the thing I am trying to work through. And So taking a 15 minute break was very challenging and that's how it all kind of started was like, you just take a lunch break. I still could Abby: Yeah. Nichole Adams: not do it and just be, I could not sit in stillness. I could not stare out the window. I had to habit stack it. If you're a James Clear fan for atomic habits, Abby: Yeah. Nichole Adams: I was habit stacking, stacking everything. So I'm like, well. I need to these posture exercises and that's good for me and that's a 15 minute break where I will. So I started doing that kind of stuff and you're like, that's good. I'm like, that's a good start. That's Chelsea Henderson: Ha ha. Abby: I'm like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Nichole Adams: better than working. Yeah. Meet me where I'm at. That's what a good coach does. And I'm like, this is what I can do. And she's like, that's great. So it started with that. And then I'm like, okay, this time I'm just, cause then I wanted to listen to a podcast or an audio book. I still had to be doing something to say it was worth the time of taking a break, even if it wasn't working. And it started with those types of things. And it was good because I did take a break. I got away from my desk. I didn't just do busy work to do busy. Like lot of the things I was doing weren't actually doing anything. They weren't generating any income. They weren't making me a better person. I was just doing them because I felt like I needed to do stuff. And then Abby: Yeah. Nichole Adams: I was exhausted. So I would do that. And then eventually, at some point, I think I told you I read something or I don't know, stumbled upon something. I'm like, I'm going to try a meditation. Abby: Yeah. Nichole Adams: And are you guys familiar with what a crisis meditator is? Abby: Mm mm. Nichole Adams: Okay, let me tell you, because this is what Chelsea Henderson: No. Please Abby: Yes, please. Nichole Adams: I was. This is what I was. This is what I still can be sometimes. A crisis meditator is basically somebody or someone at some point that is like, shit, life is hard. I need to do something to calm down. So I'm going to do breath work or I'm going to do a mindfulness practice or... whatever it is. So I had learned about different like meditation practices in my corporate world because I had a wellness program and I helped run it and we would bring in people that would teach these sorts of things. So I'd learned like a breath work exercise and then I would be really stressed out and laying in bed and couldn't sleep and my heart's racing like I'm gonna do the breath work exercise and I know some of you can't see me but there's like this one where you do like your nose and you're plugging it and so I'm doing Abby: yeah. Nichole Adams: this in bed for 20 minutes trying to calm myself down. I'm thinking, this is gonna solve it. I'm gonna be fine. Chelsea Henderson: Okay. Abby: Hm Nichole Adams: It did not usually do it, but I felt better, I guess, about myself that I was like trying. And then, Abby: That you tried, yeah. Nichole Adams: yeah, and then I'd be like, the crisis is over. I'd fall asleep and I wouldn't touch it again. So that basically it reminds me of the song, the Jelly Roll song. I only talk to God when I need a favor. I only meditate when I'm when I'm off the chain or whatever. That's that's how I think of crisis Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Abby: yes. Hundred percent. Hundred percent. Nichole Adams: meditation. I was an expert at crisis meditator meditation. So. I was like, okay, well, I'm going to try to actually do a practice. And I had started a couple of years earlier, like with guided meditations on insight timer and a little bit of journaling. And it was really healing for me, but I didn't stay with it. I just got busy and did my own thing. So then I started, I actually committed. I read a book called Change Your Paradigm, Change Your Life by Bob Proctor. Abby: yeah. By Bob Proctor. Yeah. Nichole Adams: Yes, this is where. when part of it all started. And he was like commit to doing something for I think it was 30 days. So I listened to the book every day for 30 days and then I picked up another habit and I stacked it on top and I was like okay I'm gonna do a meditation. Well I found one on Insight Timer by David Gee and it was a body scan and I'm like I can do a body scan. So I committed to doing a body scan. for 56 days is what he recommended. That was, it was based in science. There were all these studies that were done at different universities that showed that it actually changed the chemistry of your brain if you committed to doing this practice for 56 days. And so I did it and then it worked. Like things started Abby: Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: Well. Nichole Adams: happening and my life started to change and I started to regulate my nervous system and I actually could take a break and not feel guilty or as guilty. I'm not going to say I never felt guilty. I still feel guilty. It's like something Abby: Yeah. Nichole Adams: else I struggle with, but that's kind of how it evolved over time from having to do 15 minutes stepping away from my desk, where I would make myself still do something, but call it a break too. And even, I'll say even doing a meditation is still doing something. Like I was still actively doing something, but it took me into my body and out of my mind. So that was Abby: Yes. Nichole Adams: kind of the next step for me. Now I can actually sit. for an extended amount of time without any type of stimulation and just be. Which Abby: Hm. Nichole Adams: is, I didn't know that would happen, but in the last year that's kind of been a new thing. Like I can stare out a window and watch a bird take a bath in the bird bath and Abby: No. Nichole Adams: that's all it is. And I'm just like there. Abby: Amazing. Nichole Adams: Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: Can you can you talk us through the the body Abby: Wow. The go yeah, go for it, Chelsea. Chelsea Henderson: scan? I'm just I would I would love to hear a little bit more about these actual practices and that one I feel like I've done versions of this, but I'm curious what that one looks like. Nichole Adams: Yeah, it's been a little while since I've done it and I think, let me, it's called Deep Healing. I think that's the one that it's called. It's on Insight Timer and it's by David G. And it's a really good one. I think it is 20ish minutes or so. might be a little longer. So if you're new to meditation, you don't have to start with something that long. But basically it's all about body awareness and he walks you through different parts of the body. and we're bringing awareness to it just by starting. Like it's two part body scan, bringing the awareness. And the second part, we're actually relaxing and releasing in each part of the body. So first it's awareness, then we start to become like, okay, I'm relaxing, actively thinking about my toes and what they feel like and where they are. And now I'm going to relax and then I'm going to release. And there's a part of a gratitude practice in there. So that was kind of the one and it was simple enough that it wasn't too spiritual based either because I wasn't in tune with that part of myself so that I may have felt a disconnect. It was really just about being in the body and starting that practice of mindfulness and embodiment. Does that answer Abby: Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: Hmm. Nichole Adams: your question? Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Yeah. Abby: That is so cool. Because, you know, that mind body connection of I share this quote all the time, but the body whiskers before it screams by someone Ortiz Glass. And like how disconnected I think a lot of us are from our bodies. Where I mean, my husband I we see this in him all the time, where I'll rub his shoulders and he'll be like, Ooh, wow, whoa, I am tense. I'm like, you wouldn't have known. how much your body is caring until you connected with it and like when I've done body scan meditations I'm like, wow, I'm thirsty. Whoa, I'm like my stomach kinda hurts. I'm hungry. I'm like I'm like so disconnected from this Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Abby: body I'm in and I can imagine doing that like he said for fifty six days of like the connection and like what that would do for your body and your nervous system. Chelsea Henderson: Mm. Nichole Adams: Yeah, and it actually changes the neural pathways in the brain. Like the brain, your chemistry of your brain does change based on practices like that. And now I read, I read an article the other day, I can't remember exactly where it was from, but it was a scientific journal or a magazine, and they had said that new studies are showing that you, there are, They're starting to see changes in the brain chemistry in as little as two to three minutes of a mindfulness practice. So imagine Abby: Wow, that's amazing. Nichole Adams: like how dysregulated our bodies are and starting to do just a two to three minute practice even once a day, the impact that could have on the body. And I remember you telling me that quote all the time. I mean, I'd show up to our session. I'd be like, I'm screaming. My body is screaming. I didn't Abby: Yeah. Nichole Adams: listen. What do I do? Chelsea Henderson: Ha ha ha Nichole Adams: Many days, many days. And that's how I lived my life for a long time. And Abby: Yep. Yep. Yeah. Nichole Adams: a lot of it just in secret or by myself. And I'm like, I gotta power through. There's nothing to do about Abby: Yeah. Nichole Adams: it, but keep going. Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Abby: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Nichole Adams: And that causes disease and illness Chelsea Henderson: I know. Nichole Adams: and mental illness. And I was very ill. Like I was very sick and causing myself Chelsea Henderson: Mm-hmm. Nichole Adams: to be more sick. mean, There's a reason why I had a hundred pounds of fat to lose. Like I was abusing food, I was abusing alcohol, I was doing anything to try and soothe myself from Abby: Yeah. Nichole Adams: the world of dysregulation I was living in. Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. I mean I Abby: Yeah. Man. Chelsea Henderson: I I feel like that's gotta be most of us, right? I mean, I was reflecting on just I you know, wanting to bring some gratitude into the space, feeling grateful for the two of you, and you know, I bit was reflecting on the fact that, you know, right now in Colorado we've got a big fire burning along the Utah border and it's not contained, it's smoky. and On Sunday we lost three firefighters to it. And Abby: wow. Chelsea Henderson: young, I you know, it just I think Nichole Adams: Thank Chelsea Henderson: at least three that I know of. And I wish I knew their names. I just read them, but I didn't I didn't write them down. But I was reflecting that on Sunday I spent the day at brunch with a bunch of lovely women and then I went to a birthday party, you know, and had you know this Great time in the evening with my with my husband and son at a friend's birthday party. And and there was something in that moment yesterday when I was reading about these deaths and hearing about this devastation where I felt that pull to leave my body because it was just too much I felt guilty. Like, look at me just in safety, eating food. These young people are losing their lives keeping us safe. Our state is Burning. It's a drought. It's hot. And that's here in Colorado. You start going outward and it's crippling. Abby: Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: And I think what we talked about in the beginning of this a little bit too, we are living in a society and culture that is not built to teach us how to care for our bodies. It is not built to teach us to rely on intergenerational wisdom. To listen to our bodies' whispers, right? There's so much that we're working against. And I could sit here and like whine and talk shit and complain. And sometimes I do. And I think that the you know, I all of that is to say that that sets us up to be in that position that you're talking about, Nicole. That that disconnect, right? And like it is so much easier to have a glass of wine. than it is to sit down for 20 minutes and scan your body in a culture like ours. Because a culture like ours tells us if you haven't gotten something material out of this, it is for nothing. And all of us are susceptible to that. You know, I think that's why checking that traditional box, if you're if you're starting to kind of try to be self-knowing and self-aware, doesn't feel as good as you think it should, because it is only here on the superficial level. You have to marry that with all the other stuff. And that's not really what's commonly available. And so then, and couple that with all of the information, right? Knowing that that's what's happening in my state, knowing about the midterm elections and all the ripple effects of that. And, you know, even for me, I'm so sensitive that like I'm reading about the midterm elections and it's like one person had to lose for that other person to win. It makes me sad. You know, it's like there's Abby: Mm. Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: Just like and that's so micro in comparison to what I know is happening, you know, in Palestine, in Ukraine, in Africa, in I mean in India, like geez Louise. It gets to the point where I'm like, Yep, I'm going for a pint of ice cream and a bottle of wine and a joint and I'm fucking out. I can't take it. I just can't take it. And I think that that's that's kind of the design of what we're living in. And I think it's a lot of hard work. To step outside of that. And so, so many of us are doing it, but we're having to kind of like pull ourselves out of the current a little bit. And it's it's a lot. So I I Abby: Mm-hmm. Chelsea Henderson: think I say all that to say I I deeply resonate with your story and where you're coming from and what you've done. And I I have so much compassion for all of us. Like there's this deep empathy for Abby: Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: all three of us in this space right now, for all of us who, you know, in this world, it's just it's a lot to carry and and also all the beautiful things too, right? I'm I'm trying to always like kind of balance it out and sometimes I'm not so great at that, but I think it does lead a lot of people into that. And so there there's even just having these discussions about these beautiful opportunities to step out of it and do something different. 'Cause all the wine in the world, you know, it numbs, it does not solve. And I think eventually Abby: Mm-hmm. Chelsea Henderson: you get to that point where your body does scream and just is like, Nope, that's not enough. It's not it. so I I just I think it's so I just wanted to speak to that. I think it's so so common and also the other thing I I think what I notice in a culture like ours is it's really hard not to try to hold ourselves accountable. That's the messaging that we're getting. Is everything is here, it's all there for you. You can get anything you want. You just have to try really, really hard. It's actually not true. And then we blame ourselves. We hold ourselves accountable. And so I think the beauty of of what what you're talking about here and it's all actually those secrets are all inside. It's just taking the time to allow, you know, and it is available to all of us and none of this is our fault. None of this isn't is really a fault. It's just it's just that wrong turn at the crossroads, maybe. So I I just that none of that was for anything aside from just saying it, but Abby: Yeah. No, that's very Nichole Adams: That's beautiful. Abby: very, very I resonate with all of that and I I just kept hearing while you were talking, Chelsea, the word like community because Chelsea Henderson: Mm-hmm. Abby: it is really hard to do it on your own and even reflecting on Nicole and I's relationship and as coach client, now as friends and my relationship with my coach and coaches that I've had. spiritual teachers that I've had, courses that I've taken, like I needed to be held in that space. And it's a really incredible thing to hold someone else in that space. And to Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Abby: not necessarily even have the answers, which Nicole, you and I've learned in the deep coaching intensive like it's not about having the answers. It's not about here's the you know, th here's what you should do, giving other people their blueprint. it's holding the space a little bit of like Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Abby: this is a hard journey that you're in. It is scary. There is a lot of big questions here and like I can offer that you're not doing it alone. I can offer that when you're in this space, you're not doing it alone and and holding the the bigger journey with someone else. And you know it's interesting that we pay for that service, whether it's a coach or a therapist, and it's also beautiful when you can find it in a friendship. And you can find it in other people who are they're we're just doing that for each other. And that's I think so important because it's too it's hard to do it on your own. Chelsea Henderson: Hmm. And what Nichole Adams: Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: you just described, Abby, to me, at least from my experience, is mothering. You know? Parenting, guiding. Not to discount Abby: Mm. Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: fathering. It's extremely important as well. There is something very specific about women and what we offer. And that space. Whether you're holding it for actual children that you birthed, or you're holding it for animals, or you're holding it for friends, or you're holding it for a partner, or you're holding it for the world, I think it is certainly that's what came up for me when you were saying that, Abby, is like, that's mothering. That's just it's mothering. It's Abby: Huh. Chelsea Henderson: mothering of self, it's mothering of each other. And I do think that's something that we're seeing is is missing, right? From this kind of unchecked capitalism, imbalanced, patriarchal. rule, like those things that is the part that's missing is is the Abby: Mm. Chelsea Henderson: mothering, is the is the bigger picture consideration, holding all the pieces at once. it's powerful. It's really Abby: Mm. Chelsea Henderson: powerful. My gosh. Nichole Adams: Yeah, what that brings up for me is nurturing. Like whether Chelsea Henderson: Yes. Nichole Adams: it's akin to mothering, but the nurturing and we can find that in community, especially if you don't know how to do it for yourself, which I did not know how to do that for myself. I didn't know how to give myself permission to nurture myself, but Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Nichole Adams: I hired a coach that helped me to see that that was okay. So sometimes it does make sense. Like you need someone to help teach you. Abby: Well yeah. Chelsea Henderson: Yes. Yeah. Nichole Adams: or to be Abby: Yep. Nichole Adams: the space for you. then once you discover what that is, you can step into it on your own or you can find a community that can do that. I just feel like we're so disconnected from ourselves and our heart and each other that it's hard to know what you need. And it comes, again, for me, it comes back to the safety of it. I would not have been able to, felt safe enough to ask someone to provide nurturing to me. That didn't happen right away in my coaching relationship with Abby. That took time and trust and all of that too. And then being Abby: Right. Yep. Yep. Yeah. Nichole Adams: able to do that for myself, which is still new. I'm still learning what that means, but there's so much value in community and then learning from each other because it's not, I really do believe it's something we inherently have and can and know how to do for one another, but we've lost connection with. what it looks like or how to do it so we can model that to each other in community, especially if you've never experienced it from a mother or somebody that's provided nurturing to you, connecting Chelsea Henderson: Mm. Nichole Adams: again with that deep part of yourself that just hasn't been expressed or experienced before. Something about a community can bring that out in you. Abby: Yeah. Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: I love that Nicole, and I I feel like I want to point out in this moment because I'm also the oldest of three girls, and I have a lot of that caretaker history. And I think it's really interesting to hear you saying that because how funny that we were caretakers and lacked this nurturing component for ourselves. And that feels like a very common story. And I think, you know, one of our teachers, Katie Smith, talks about this. She's like, this culture is so codependent, right? Like I a lot of the baggage that I was dragging behind me was that codependence. Like just the pleasing all the people all the time is impossible. And it's just pouring from an empty cup constantly. And I think that's fascinating. What does that mean for you? Like i i in your experience, like growing up that big sister, stepping into HR, which is like the caretaking role in corporate in corporate America in the corporate world, you know, and then realizing you didn't have that nurturing for yourself, like, does any of can you speak to that at all? Because that's something that I feel like I'm constantly trying to unravel. It's like, how do we have, how does that happen? How do we have this entire like thing that so many of us are participating in that's completely devoid of what should be at its essence and core? Like, I'm curious what you think of that. Nichole Adams: Yeah, really for me a lot of it comes down to worth, like my self-worth. That's how I found my worth was providing for other people. I was important, I was needed, I was giving something and to ask for that myself or to even allow that for myself felt very selfish because that's not how I found my worth and I am learning. I still don't have the full belief that I am inherently worthy just being a human being. Living on this planet, the planet that I'm okay, I'm allowed to be here, just existing is enough. I'm still trying to understand that. And I know for a lot of people that probably sounds like a new concept too. Like they're like, what? That doesn't make sense. That's not what we're taught. You're not okay to be able to do that. Like you have to be doing something or be somebody or achieving something or caretaking for somebody to prove that you are allowed to exist on this planet. And it just, doesn't feel true to me anymore, even though I lack the belief for it in myself. I can see it for other people, but I don't quite understand it for myself. And I think some of that comes from healing years of whatever that was, the caretaking, the conditioning, the layers I've put on myself to start to understand Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Nichole Adams: that that is okay. So it's still, it's a battle. that I feel and I feel like a lot of people probably also feel it and if they are not aware of it, they may become and then they're like, what do I do with this? How do I hold this? And how do I move forward in my life? Because that's Chelsea Henderson: Mm, mm. Yeah. Nichole Adams: kind of how I Abby: Mm. Nichole Adams: felt. I'm like, it doesn't feel right anymore, but I don't know what to do with it. Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Yes. Yes. Isn't that wild though? Isn't that totally wild Abby: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: that that's the 'cause I've that like I feel that. It just like completely I'm still working that. I I mean, I'm forty two years old and I'm like, what the heck? Like how could I feel how could I not feel that? And I it's still you know, it's the peeling back the onion. It's like I I get to, I'm like, this is it, this is the last layer, we're to the center. And then I'm like, nope, we're not there. Abby: Ha ha ha. Chelsea Henderson: God shit. We're gonna keep going. And yeah. And then I talked to my grandmother yesterday for two hours, who's she's 83, 84 years old, and she goes, Honey, I'm still peeling back my onion. It's still a practice. So it's like, okay, serenity now. Like this is a practice that Abby: Wow. Chelsea Henderson: I'll be doing my whole life. Cool. Okay. And some of that was really reassuring. And then other parts of it were like, all right, where's that bottle of wine? Like, this is a lot. Abby: You're like, you mean I don't get a break? Like, what? Chelsea Henderson: Yes. And it it is that. I mean, Nicole just nailed it there for me. I mean, that just this the worth, right? How can we feel that? or not feel that. And that that's a really that's interesting. And I think you're you're absolutely right. I think that's a very common story and experience and that's kind of the work, right? That I feel like I'm doing at least is just every day at a time. I you know, talk about neuropathways. I've been working about on that a lot. And it's just that every moment of like taking that other just r rerouting to develop a new groove over here that isn't that well worn groove of, you know, being Abby: Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: mean to myself. Good grief. That's a lot. Every time. Like. Abby: That is. Nichole Adams: Yeah, and I still get pissed. Like sometimes I'm like, I'm in the coaching program. I'm like, why do I not feel enlightened? Why don't I feel better? And I'm like, I'm crying and Chelsea Henderson: Okay. Nichole Adams: bawling and having my meltdowns. Which I was Abby: Yeah, yeah. Nichole Adams: glad I had that safe space. Anybody who was in my cohort, thank you. And they're like, yeah, you've come a long way. We got on a Zoom and you didn't cry. And I'm like, thank you. I also feel so much shame for like, is this my identity? Like, am I the crier? Yes, I am. But I feel big. Like emotions are... That's just part of me Abby: Yeah. Nichole Adams: and I'm learning to embrace Chelsea Henderson: Meet. Nichole Adams: that. yeah, it's just, sometimes I wonder if that is, that's why I've been put on the planet is to learn to be kind to myself. Like I don't, I'm still exploring the spiritual side of things. Like maybe this is Chelsea Henderson: Yes. Yeah. Nichole Adams: what my soul came here to do. Like learn how to be kind to yourself. Like you're already good at being kind to other people. You plenty of compassion for everybody else. Can you do that for yourself? Can you see that? Abby: Yeah, no wow. Nichole Adams: It's okay to exist on this earth and not have to do all the things. Even as I step into these new career paths, know, as becoming a meditation teacher, pursuing coaching, it's like, do I need to be the best coach? Do I need to have this revolutionary meditation program and be known and like really impact so many lives? And maybe it's... for me to learn to be nice to myself? I don't know, it feels so Chelsea Henderson: Yes. Abby: Mm-hmm. Nichole Adams: ridiculous to say it, but at the same time, it's like a ping that keeps coming up for me. It's like, are you gonna be okay if that is all that you accomplish in this lifetime is that you learn to be kind to yourself? And I'm wrestling with that, but I'm glad I'm at least listening and aware of it. Chelsea Henderson: I love it. I love it because it's it's Abby: Mmm. I love that too. Chelsea Henderson: not I would argue that that would be a massive legacy to leave behind because Abby: That's exactly what I was thinking. Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: when you're doing that in this moment, there was an alchemy that happened for me of self of self love. Right. That little there it's just it's a magical transfer. I I couldn't explain it. in less woo-woo words, if if I tried. But it's true that there in that moment, your a permission will go back to permission. Like there's that my soul essence, Abby, that you talked about before, that's in there buried under all the stuff, is going, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Like it's Abby: Yeah, it there's a resonance. Chelsea Henderson: a resonance and then in it does touch others, right? That's gonna change the way I interact with everybody that I interact with today. And that's that's what we can do, right? I talk about the overwhelm and all that. It's like, okay, it's that's a that's a whole can of worms, but this is something we can do. And it matters. Abby: Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: It does matter. You just never know Abby: Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: when you're touching somebody who, you know, it makes a difference. Abby: Even if it's i it just like in the energetic world where I think Chelsea Henderson: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Abby: we learned about heart math. Have you guys heard about HeartMath Institute where it's like they're measuring like the energies of the world. I don't know if I even what I think about it. But yeah, just like when I think about my own transformation or hear about your transformation, Nicole, it's like all of the podcast episodes that were listened to that I can't even name and will never remember. How many articles that I read or little quotes that I would see or books that I'd read, songs that touched me, like over the years all of it snowballs into a transformation where all of these other people contributed an energy, Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Abby: to me and my transformation. And it helped build that resonance for me to then follow and coaches that I've hired and programs that I've taken. Like it all contributes an Yeah, when it comes to our own contribution to all of that, I think about like Grandmother Willow in Pocahontas. You guys know Pocahontas? Chelsea Henderson: love that Nichole Adams: Mm-hmm. Abby: Love Grandmother Willow. If I can embody Chelsea Henderson: Absolutely. Abby: the energy of like grandmother Willow, where it's like you might not even you might you don't need to hire me. You don't need to work with me, but if at the Grocery store, whatever, like there's a breeze of grandmother willow that coming off of me. Like, I Chelsea Henderson: Mm. Abby: think that makes a huge that's a legacy when you mentioned legacy, Chelsea. Like for our nieces and our nephews, like I'm not having children Chelsea Henderson: No. Abby: either. So it's like, what does that look like when I'm not I don't have children to mother and to nurture in that way? But the legacy being, I guess, untangible, kind of energetic collective thing. Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Nichole Adams: Mm. Abby: thing that's happening within all of these people. I don't know what I'm saying, but yeah, yeah, just that it Chelsea Henderson: No, you're saying it. You're saying it. And you don't have to have children to mother. Like I honestly you guys will probably make a bigger impact in that regard than I will because I'm so busy with this human child trying to just keep him alive and not turning into a a dickhead or something, you know? It's like there's a la there's a lot going on there that I'm pretty self absorbed with. So n I I mean that's me being self deprecating as usual, but the I think the reality is We're all mothering and this world Abby: Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: needs it. Like, it that's just missing. It's it it got erased along the way and that that is how we're full. So I think, gosh, Abby, Abby: Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: you talk about a resonance. Like, people feel it. Abby: One hundred percent. Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: And so you you know that feeling when you walk into the room with someone who just has that, you know, and I think that's what we're developing in ourselves, those moments of, you know, I could turn around and and give this person anything that I want and and then they're gonna take that with them and give it to someone else. And so that choice every single time, it's huge. It's huge. It's a Abby: Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: deep resonance. Nichole Adams: Yeah, and I feel like that's, I'm so glad you brought that up, Abby, because this is something I've actually been working on for myself since I started the holding space course that I took because Abby: Yeah. Nichole Adams: I, and then the coaching and then the meditation. But as I connect closer to myself, like who I truly am and get to know who that person is or that part of myself, I, I feel that I want to, it's an energy. It's like hard to explain Abby: Yeah. Nichole Adams: it. It's an energy. And now when I come to events or even before we stepped on here, like I spent time getting into that energy, calling in that part of myself because you're right. It's like there's just it's it's a gift that I feel I have within me, like a calming, a nurturing, a loving and I know more humans need it. It's kind of like that feminine Abby: Uh-huh. Chelsea Henderson: Mm. Nichole Adams: energy and how do we awaken the feminine energy in other people? Well, if I show up this way and I'm, you know, emanating it out, maybe a little bit of that awakens in them just by Chelsea Henderson: Yes. Nichole Adams: my energy. So I spend a lot of time trying to cultivate that energy first for myself because it feels natural to me and it feels good. And it feels like I nurture myself when I do that. but then also it's a gift or a service to others to be able to give that in a world full of chaos and the human experience is full of pain and suffering. Chelsea Henderson: Mm-hmm. Nichole Adams: There's lots of joy too, but there's so much suffering. How do we Chelsea Henderson: Yes. Nichole Adams: give more love Abby: Anyway. Chelsea Henderson: Yes. Nichole Adams: in all of that when life feels just like chaos? Chelsea Henderson: Yes. Yes. And you Abby: Beautiful. Chelsea Henderson: know, what what you're saying is so incredibly important because it just when you said that I thought, what would this world be like if we all had the competency of self-nurturing? If we all practiced it. That chaos and that suffering would shift dramatically, right? I mean, everything dies, destruction happens, there will always be natural disasters. There will always be animals eating each other. And that's the natural cycle. That is this existence. And that has to be okay to try to fight that is like trying to fight the ocean. And also we have so much power that I think many of us don't realize. And I think what you're saying in that, Nicole, and what you're saying, Abby, is that when we are investing that in ourselves, that's how humans learn. We learn through modeling. Everyone seems to think that we learn through being told, and that's actually so stupid. It doesn't do anything. To tell Abby: Mm-hmm. Chelsea Henderson: people is just I tell my husband all the time, like, you're just a wasting oxygen. Like like I don't know what you think you're doing, but it's like if we were in a sealed environment, Abby: Ha ha ha. Nichole Adams: you Chelsea Henderson: I would have to ask you to please shut up forever because it doesn't do anything. Like it's lovely. You know, the power of our voices and the power of words holds something very powerful. po power, power, power. But hold something very real. How we actually learn is through what we see, what we smell, what we hear, Abby: Absolutely. Chelsea Henderson: what we what we witness, you know, those moments that's huge. So there's a a deep knowing of just walking through a space with composure. I I was reading today an article about a woman who seemed like she just had it all together and she had this, you know, upscale Colorado life and, you know, just living healthfully and you know, just died in her fifties of stage four cancer. It's like you don't you don't know. Abby: wow. Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: Sorry, that was a I buried the lead there a little bit, but the Abby: Hello! Chelsea Henderson: the the the it was just interesting to see this woman, right? This privileged just, Abby: Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: you know, just all the exercise classes and all the shakes and all the things and all the world th that doesn't necessarily mean that you're healthy. Right. I I think that we're starting to Abby: Hello. Chelsea Henderson: see that there again the superficiality can kind of wash across all of this and it's it's you really have to have that balance. And I think that what y'all are talking about is that. Like that that's a healthfulness Abby: Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: on a deeper level that I think our culture maybe has not yet kind of sunk its talons into all the way, Abby: Mm-hmm. Chelsea Henderson: you know? So Abby: Yeah. What I keep thinking about is, so right now I started a new nursing job, which you're both aware of, how much it's taking from me. but it's always so interesting to train, you know, when you're being oriented Nichole Adams: Thank you. Abby: to whatever job. And you train Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Abby: with, you know, Jennifer on this day and Mike on this day, and Hannah on another day, and to see how different people carry a different energy doing the same job. Chelsea Henderson: Ha. Abby: It's so fascinating to me where like this person might be like frantic, frantic, my gosh, there's so much going on and they're not drinking water. They're not taking breaks. They have this very high, buzzy, like they're freaking out. And then you train with Mike the next day and he's chillin. He's chillin' and you know, he's drinking water, he's like, Go take a break. I got this and and then another person might be somewhere in between and it's like and we're all doing the same job and often the mics are like getting more done in a Chelsea Henderson: Yes. Abby: way. I'm like, how are you fitting all of the same amount of tasks into a shorter period of time and you have time to chill and this person over here is running around like a chicken with their head cut off and not getting anything done. And it's like Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Yeah. Abby: it's fascinating to just be a a shadow. I mean that's what I'm doing is I'm shadowing other people in their practice and their practice of being a human too. I'm like, wow, there's so many different energies. And then yeah, that choice, like you were saying, Nicole, like just my own cultivating my own energy to where I show up to work or to an event or a family gathering or whatever it is, and I'm like the grounded there's a loud car passing. Hold on. Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Sounded like a plane. Good grief. Abby: Yeah. No, it was a car. Still a car. Still a car. Okay. Chelsea Henderson: Ha ha ha. Abby: Just like what kind of energy am I cultivating and what kind of energy Chelsea Henderson: Yes. Abby: am I bringing? And it's such a medicine to be with someone orienting or whatever who is so un like grounded and and we've talked about this, have talked about it with both of you, maybe even all together Nichole Adams: Thank Abby: about like that is labor intensive Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Abby: to take the time to meditate, to ground, to breathe. Have a slow morning to say no to so many things that could pack your schedule full and make you feel busy. To Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Abby: say no to things so that there's extra time to be and to meditate and to do these things to meal prep and to eat healthy food. Like there is this labor that is uncompensated in the typical Chelsea Henderson: Mm-hmm. Abby: form. Like, I'm not getting paid to do less. I'm getting paid less to do less because I'm not working as much as I could or for a while I wasn't working at all and it was like but but what am I d like I am healing like this energetic sickness of my culture and I'm choosing to not be paid for it. I wish there was a way for us to be paid to do less and to be mothers, nurturers for each other. Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Yeah. Abby: But yeah, it's just it's not recognized by the society that we're in that what we're doing is really important work. I mean, mothering in general, like what of traditional mothering, of Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Abby: having children and raising them and and being a safe grounded nervous system for them as much as possible so that they can learn to be safe in the world and to take calculated risk. Like that's not a compensated career path. And yet it's so important. Chelsea Henderson: But healthcare might teach us that, Abby. I think healthcare might be the the industry that teaches us that because when you're talking about that job, that's what I think about is any time I've been a patient, right? Like Abby: Uh-huh. Chelsea Henderson: you know, ne they're starting to care more and more at surgical centers, at hospitals, about what the patient, right? That's customer satisfaction. And you start to pick up on, am I getting cared for by a mic who comes in and makes me feel confident? These people are about to cut into my body. These people are about to take care of my Abby: Mm-hmm. Chelsea Henderson: health and I don't Know them, I have no reason to trust them, right? That that is that is a false thing that we put out there that everybody who's in that world is just inherently trustworthy. That's not true. Everyone's human, everyone has human moments. The mic who walks in, who has fed himself and had a glass of water and doesn't have to pee and is coming in to Abby: Uh-huh. Chelsea Henderson: prep me for surgery, that's my guy, right? And I can feel Abby: Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: that. And so I think healthcare might be an industry that will start to broaden our awareness as a culture. of what this means, right? It seems intangible, so Abby: Yeah, that's interesting. Chelsea Henderson: it doesn't feed capitalism, but actually it does. It's starting to. We're starting to see it. It matters. So I I that just came up. I thought that was an interesting. Yeah. Abby: That's that's kinda that's encouraging. Thank you for saying that. And I'm I'm seeing that there's a little bit more room for the woo in medicine that I never saw Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Abby: ten years ago. Like I've worked at several surgery centers or hospitals where they have like lavender oil. Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Abby: Like they actually a met of course, a medical company made lavender oil patches for hospitals that you can put on patients Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Abby: and like of course you're like you whatever. But You know, or like that you would never see ten years ago. And now there's like these actual things in a package that you sticker onto someone's gown and it's got lavender oil to help them feel more calm and like just seeing that kind of get in there. But that was countless woo-woo nurses bringing in their own lavender oil Nichole Adams: you Abby: and being like this helps people feel calm and I'm gonna use it with my patients and Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Abby: and like they you know and how we're all doing that. in our own industries, in our own ways, in our own families, of Chelsea Henderson: Mm. Abby: like th these are the things that help us feel calm and it's a legacy and it's really important work. Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: Mm-hmm. Nichole Adams: and Chelsea Henderson: Mm. Nicole, I want a few more minutes to dive into some of these. You inspired me so much talking about your beverage meditation. I now do beverage blessings and I want to dive into a couple of those practices with you. you Yeah. Please. Nichole Adams: Yes, thank you. I did want to add just in case anybody's like, what does this gal even do? I'm Abby: Yes, please. Nichole Adams: still new to teaching meditation. I'm not new to teaching in general because I've My main, I guess, goal right now is to make meditation accessible to people, like to the everyday Chelsea Henderson: Mm. Nichole Adams: person, the person that's feeling dysregulated, the crisis meditator. So I'm Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Nichole Adams: working on practices that are going to be... easily accessible, easy to do, easy to fit into the everyday life. So just things that you can start picking up and incorporating and making it so that you can start to connect with your body and yourself and then you can explore where that takes you. But just giving that moment of stillness to settle, well maybe not even stillness, a moment of quiet just to connect to yourself and your body to see what comes from that. So that's some of the practices I'm going to be working on. Chelsea Henderson: Okay, well, can we talk a little bit more about those specifics, Nicole? Because I feel not just because but but one of the things that comes up for me is that I get a little frustrated. Like Abby will will say this about like the felt hat spiritualists, right? And s we're gonna suddenly we're gonna have this battle going with these women who like felt hats and like fuck I that's not my intention, but there's something about I get frustrated when, or maybe I feel diminished when I am having trouble in my life. And one of my friends who, you know, maybe has more time or a different lifestyle than me will just say, Well, have you been meditating? And I'm like, No, because like I I Abby: Ha ha ha Chelsea Henderson: you know, there's just one thing after the other, right? And so W I have been for years now trying to incorporate into my life exactly what you're talking about. Just kind of those moments of intentionality. Those moments of like, let me check in with myself in this human body. Like, do I need food, water, hugs, whatever? and I think there's still this idea that meditation is the monk in the cave for twenty-four hours at a time, sitting cross-legged, doesn't move. doesn't seem to feel his aching back, right? Like, so can we talk about this approach that you're taking that is just more accessible, right? I think that that brings us right back to the whole modern sacred of it all, right? It's like, you know, try as we might, we're still modern women who have to just do all the things. And so what you're offering, and that's why I talked about your beverage meditation that you mentioned to me in our in our in our circle. Good grief. and how powerful that felt, right? Like I make my coffee every morning. That just is a it's a routine, it's a desire, it's a happy moment in my day. So to sit there and to hold my little Nespresso pod and to say, This coffee is gonna fill me up with love and intention, and I'm so grateful for the farmers and it right, the whole thing has become this sweet moment that like brings me into myself. So I really want to hear from you kind of what that is for you, the practices and you know, maybe just talk a little bit about that because to me it feels like the modern sacred of it all. It's just like this perfect combination. So please if you will. Abby: And I haven't heard anything about beverage blessings, so please I'm Nichole Adams: Yeah. Abby: really excited to learn about this. Chelsea Henderson: Mm-hmm. Nichole Adams: Yes, of course. Well, first of all, Chelsea, thank you for sharing. Like even in just the little bit of sharing that I did with you on what I taught, you've turned it into your own spiritual practice and made it a ritual, which is something I Chelsea Henderson: I was so inspired. Nichole Adams: talk about when I do. That's amazing. That's something I talk about in the class that I provide. The beverage meditation one is about how we can cultivate something into a ritual because making meditation, whatever, well, really anything into more of a ritual. connects you to something beyond it's a to-do list, like, I have to do this. Like, it just becomes part of what you do. And then if you're able to connect with it even deeper, like the gratitude you're talking about, there's more chance that you'll keep coming back to it also, which is one of the... main drivers of, you know, helping to do that and cultivate that and doing the things that you like. So yes, I want meditation to be more accessible and to break down the barriers and myths around that. The monk sitting in silence for 24 hours or you have to do it one way or this practice says it has to be this way or you're doing it wrong. Because when I started meditating, I did feel like I was doing it wrong. I'm like, I can't. turn off my brain, nothing's quiet in there. Well, I found Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Nichole Adams: out that's not how it's supposed to be. Like if you don't have thoughts, we have 60 to 80,000 thoughts a day. If your brain is not thinking, you are dead. There's, your brain is working. No thoughts, flatlining, thoughts alive. So Chelsea Henderson: Okay. Abby: Yeah, wow. Yeah, that's so good. Nichole Adams: what permission, that came from my teacher, by the way, David G, what permission that gives us to just be okay with it? Like, okay, Chelsea Henderson: Yes. Nichole Adams: I'm gonna think today and there's, you Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Nichole Adams: know, only a couple of things that are happening during meditation. You're thinking, you may be in stillness, you may be sleeping. Those are like the things that are happening in meditation. So it's like, how can we break it down to it's, it almost feels ridiculous, but it's what we need. Like we are busy humans, things are happening, there's chaos in the world, we're learning to regulate our nervous system. Some of us have figured it out, but maybe you're not doing meditation. but you want to incorporate meditation. So how can you do that? And my goal is to help make that accessible. So it's like, let's start a small ritual practice with say a beverage meditation. And I was telling Chelsea, the one I did was to incorporate all the five senses. It was a mindfulness practice and we were doing like, let's do the five senses based on this beverage that you brought with you. And I walked guided people through that to connect to the body. And then there was a gratitude part of that too at the end. So we're doing a few different techniques, but then I said, you know, you could make it so it's just, I'm brewing the coffee and I take a moment to sit here and appreciate it. Or I take an extra moment to smell it. Like that counts as meditation. You're doing a mindfulness practice during that. So it's just, it's making it more accessible and easy and something you can incorporate into everyday life where you're like, I don't have 30 minutes to sit down and meditate. Like, okay. There's different scientific studies that show a certain amount of time is more beneficial to, you know, regulating the nervous system and changing your brain chemistry. And that's great if you move on to that next stage, but let's just get the party started and like start getting into Abby: Mm-hmm. Nichole Adams: the body, start doing that. So my meditation philosophy is I want it to be comfortable. Like you need to be comfortable when you meditate. There's no like sitting in lotus pose. You can, if that's how you're comfortable, I'm no judgment. I like to meditate laying down. with a blanket and a pillow and sometimes an eye mask and a candle. Like I just like to be really comfy because I'll keep coming back to it if I'm comfortable. And the other Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Yes, yes. Abby: Yeah. Nichole Adams: one is to keep it simple. Like let's just make it simple. Do the things you like, try things. If you don't like it, that's not the end of it. There's no right or wrong way to do it. The only, I guess, wrong way to do is to not do it at all. But even then that's not wrong. It's just not where you are. Chelsea Henderson: Right. Abby: Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: Right. God, I love that. I just love Abby: Mm. Me too. Chelsea Henderson: that. It feels like one of my core values that's been developing in my time of self knowing, right? Developing that self knowing is collaboration and accessibility. Right. I think equit equitability also just kind of comes in with that. But that sometimes people just sometimes things seem so hard. And it just is like, Abby: Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: why? You know, I keep I just keep saying this, but like we made all of this stuff up. This whole world we're running around Abby: Ha ha ha. Chelsea Henderson: in and like all these things and for better and for worse, right? For better so that like we have amazing healthcare that we never had before. And then for worse is like sometimes we're just you know, how can we get to those all those little acronyms, right? The KPIs and the this and the that and it's like, what the fuck are you even talking about? So I love that like you talk about accessibility, right? This is just another Abby: Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: one of those things that is it's for everyone. It's a it's right there. It's within. I also really love how you talked about the present moment. Please No no go go go. Nichole Adams: Yeah, and you don't have to be like, I'm sorry. Abby: Mm. Nichole Adams: Well, I was just gonna say, it doesn't have to be for people that have like a deep spiritual practice. Like I'm just coming Chelsea Henderson: Right. Nichole Adams: into my spirituality. Like it's for the everyday person. And that's what I'm passionate about is showing anybody like busy corporate. individuals, moms that are taxed out, people that are lonely. Like it's for every type of lifestyle and really it's just a way to connect and start to regulate the nervous system because we are so dysregulated and then we're that's what causes disease. Disease comes from more than just like our environmental factors. A lot of things are happening in the body that are manifesting and turning into all these different things. And then, you know, the things we put into our body, if we're abusing food or alcohol, like I was, it just continues to grow. So if we can stop and just find moments to start to re-regulate or even for the first time regulate the nervous system, that's where clarity starts to come from. We can start to... experience what we actually need or want in our life. And some of us have never asked ourselves that. It's like, I would ask myself, what Abby: my god, yeah. Nichole Adams: do I actually need? But it was based on what somebody else needed or what my job needed. It Chelsea Henderson: Yes. Nichole Adams: was never really what I needed. Abby: Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Chelsea Henderson: So it does sound like your health coaching and your health journey have also informed this a lot. Is there i that Nichole Adams: Yes. Chelsea Henderson: kind of connection point there? Can you talk about that a little bit? Nichole Adams: Yeah, it's really where it all started, because, what I thought about most of my life was losing weight and getting healthy. Like I've been on a diet since puberty, which was about third grade. So I've always been trying to lose weight and get healthy. That consumed a lot of energy and time in my life, in my brain and at my activities and the things I did. And then worrying Chelsea Henderson: Hmm. Nichole Adams: about what my body looked like, you know, cause there's these expectations from family, from external things, like things were programmed to be. So when I was able to lose the weight, something unlocked in my brain. Like there was Abby: Yeah. Nichole Adams: space. There was space to do more, to explore more. Abby: Mm-hmm. Nichole Adams: And that's when I could really start to figure out like, what do I want now? Cause I've always wanted to lose weight and get healthy, but what do I want now that I am healthy and I've lost weight? And it started Abby: Yeah. Nichole Adams: with my mental and emotional health. And that's when I started to figure out like, I'm unhappy in my work and my job and I'm stressed and I'm tired and I don't sleep at night. And I drink alcohol just to cope after work to numb the pain. And I eat an entire box of pizza and like, it was just that kind of stuff. That's how I started to figure out. out that Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Nichole Adams: something was off, but I couldn't hear it because my body was whispering, but it eventually was screaming. So Chelsea Henderson: Mm. Abby: Yeah. Nichole Adams: yeah, my health coaching and I learned a lot of the foundational like mindfulness and not the full meditation, but to start to look inward through my health coaching program. Abby: Hm. Nichole Adams: And Dr. Wayne Scott Anderson is the founder of the program that I'm a part of. And he wrote a beautiful book called the habits of health. And that's where it really started for me is like diving into that and listening to his podcasts and I'm like wow there's more to life than just me worrying about me being fat all the time and if people are looking at me and looking at what's on my plate and like judging me and being afraid to be in pictures you know that it was that all the time Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Yes. Abby: Mm. Chelsea Henderson: Gosh. I love the way you talk about things. I I love your directness. Nichole Adams: So yes, they're tied together. thanks. Chelsea Henderson: It's so clear. I Abby: Same hair. Chelsea Henderson: just feel like I talk and talk and talk in circles trying to get to that one central point. I just you're like Nichole Adams: Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: spoop do it. It's very, very cool. That it makes a lot of sense Nichole Adams: Thanks. Chelsea Henderson: to me though, that that you know, it's chicken or egg, right? It's like did clearing up the space create space for this new practice or did the the seeking of this new practice clear up the space. It's like a it's Nichole Adams: Yeah. Abby: Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: one of those things. But it's beautiful to see what that can do. Can you tell us a little bit about your meditation practice? Are you doing it every day? Are you doing it when the mood strikes? Like what does that look like for you? Nichole Adams: I do practice every day. was something that I started, especially when I started my certification program. It was kind of like one of the foundational pieces. Like if we're going to teach it, we need to experience it and embody it. I Chelsea Henderson: Yes. Nichole Adams: had started sooner trying to do daily and I did notice a difference when I was not doing something each day, because I would not give myself the break to rest. I think I track it on insight timer. like over 600 and something days. So it's been Abby: That's fucking awesome. Wow. Congratulations. That is so Nichole Adams: Yeah, Abby: cool. Nichole Adams: thank you. And I mean, Chelsea Henderson: That is so cool. Nichole Adams: it's not perfect. Like some days it's five minutes and some days it's an hour and a half. It just depends. Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Nichole Adams: And sometimes I'm meditating two to three times a day. Sometimes it's once a day. So that part isn't as consistent. I like to do two a day if I can, once in the morning to like set the foundation for my day. And that's my me time and it really gets my energy good. And then I like to do another one like midday or late evening. And that's kind of my teacher calls it the bookends. It's like, okay, let's reset our energy, get back into the body. If I'm going to be with my husband now, I'm in a good space to do that. My husband likes to call it washing my brain. So he's like, you need to Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Nichole Adams: go wash your brain. Shout out Matt. Chelsea Henderson: Amazing. That's amazing. Abby: I love that. That's amazing. Yep. Nichole Adams: That's what he told me. So he's like, I think you should go wash your brain now. So I was like, OK, I'll do that. Because Chelsea Henderson: That is so cute. Nichole Adams: when I was doing my program, they were Abby: That's really cute. Nichole Adams: like, you should do it twice a day. So I was. And he got used. And I told him, I'm like, this is a priority for me. And now it's not as much a staple, but he knows he's like, it's time to go and do your thing. Yeah. Abby: Wow. I love it when people in our lives are like, by the way, I noticed I'm like, Really? Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Abby: 'Cause I notice. It's great to know that you notice too. Like it's I feel more grounded or it makes me feel better and they're like, Yeah, no, I s I can tell Chelsea Henderson: Totally. Totally. Nichole Adams: I've been really open about it too though and that's something before like I've done, I've suffered a lot in silence. Like I didn't communicate a lot or trust or want to build that. I felt like I was supposed to take care of myself. So it's hard for me to lean on somebody else, but that's something that I found. My relationships are stronger when I just say what's going on and I'm communicating and telling him what I need. So that's been helpful because now he can see it and we can communicate better together. And it's like that with other everybody in my family now. Chelsea Henderson: I love that. I do love that. Abby: Yeah. Yay. I love the I thought about this earlier, the hero's journey, where it's like, you know, go in you start in the status quo and in the Shire and Lord of the Rings or whatever, and then you go on this adjunct adventure and you slay the dark dragon and then you come out with like and now you're the wise teacher that helps other people go on their journey. It's kind of like a very down and dirty of the arc. but that When you first started sitting for even ten minutes without doing anything was so uncomfortable and so otherworldly and like a concept that hadn't even entered your consciousness of like I can sit and do nothing or what would that look like to now being a meditation teacher s doing hour and a half long meditations, watching the birds bathe and It I feel like in my own life sometimes the thing that's been that's like the most uncomfortable is like an invitation to go there. You know, whatever that might be. But like if sitting quietly is a challenge and it's like, well, there might be something there for us. Not always, but it's really cool to see your arc with that. Like the the thing that was challenging became the medicine and now the passion. And that like there was something there that tensions really cool. Nichole Adams: Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: Mm. That's so cool. Nichole Adams: Yeah, the opposite is the medicine, right? So. Abby: Yes, exactly, Chelsea Henderson: Uh-huh. Abby: exactly. Yeah. Nichole Adams: It was that. to be clear, when I'm meditating for an hour and a half, it's all over the place. Like I will do a cacao and then I'll put on music and then I'll journal. I'm not sitting in silence. Like I feel like that's really important to you. You to find the things you like. And sometimes I turn on a meditation. I Abby: Yeah. Nichole Adams: don't like it. It's just not my vibe. I'm not in the energy. I turn it off and do another one. So there's been Abby: Yeah. Nichole Adams: and for somebody that's a perfectionist, that's been really hard. And like this person put all this time into this. I owe it this time. I turned it on and it's like, no, it's OK. Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Nichole Adams: You have to find the thing you want to do because you won't come back to it if you make it, you know, uncomfortable. Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Nichole Adams: But like you said, Abby, Abby: Yeah. Nichole Adams: it was, it was like I had to listen to what I was wanting, even though I didn't know what it was. Like there were these Abby: no. Nichole Adams: small pings of intuition that were like, try this. And the scary part is when you actually do it, you give yourself the permission like, okay, I'll go do it. And it feels really uncomfortable and it's hard to do new things. It's hard to create new Abby: Yeah it is. Nichole Adams: habits. It's hard to create new rituals that are so against what you've always been doing. But. Abby: Yes. Nichole Adams: I'm getting better at hearing it, so then when I hear it, I'm like, I'm going to go do it. Like the other day was like, watch the birds. So I watched the birds and a bird gifted me 15 minutes of its time and took the most luxurious bath and preened itself. And I'm like, what are the odds this bird Chelsea Henderson: Ugh. Nichole Adams: sat here for 15 whole minutes for me to enjoy it? I just, you know, it's Chelsea Henderson: He's saying Nichole Adams: that kind of stuff. I would have missed that if I wasn't listening. So it's like cultivating Abby: That's beautiful. Yeah. Yeah. Nichole Adams: the muscle and really listening to what I, what I want, what my soul wants. Chelsea Henderson: Yes. Yeah. And that present Abby: Yeah. Beautiful. Chelsea Henderson: moment, right? It it all does tie in of like being present Nichole Adams: Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: in your life, which I think is being proven creates more just general contentment, right? And general feelings of goodness in your life and in your experience. And then that regulated nervous system allows your body to be in like a in tune with that. that more contented mind and yeah, that becomes its own kind of cycle. That's really cool. Nichole Adams: Yeah, and one of my other favorite practices is like really simple breath work that you Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Nichole Adams: can Abby: no. Nichole Adams: do. I did some this morning. I was like, oh, we got to do this breath work real quick because I'm feeling a little and it was like three minutes. So it's Chelsea Henderson: Mm. Nichole Adams: things I just like it to be practical and simple. But also I felt Abby: Yeah, yeah. Nichole Adams: immediately different. My nervous system was regulated after that. So it's just the noticing like, Abby: Yeah. Yeah. Nichole Adams: oh, it's up there. Let's let's do it real fast. And then come back down and then I can actually Abby: yes. Nichole Adams: live my life. Chelsea Henderson: Yes. Me too. Abby: I love a quick win. I really l for myself and for other people where it's like I remember sharing that chart with you of like the polyvagal theory and like the red and the green and the blue and it's like when I could notice, I'm like, I'm in the red zone. I can feel it. Number one, that awareness was huge. Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Abby: I'm like, I I didn't know I could be aware of where my nervous system was at and then having a simple practice, three minutes, one minute. And feeling myself I'm like, whoa, like that's agency. I'm like, I I feel like I'm a little bit more in the driver's seat of this whole thing. When I have some tools to bring myself down, or if I'm low Chelsea Henderson: Yes. Abby: and I have some tools to bring myself up, which is harder for me. It's almost a little easier to like bring myself down. Like when I'm down, it can be hard to bring myself up. But the other way I'm like can see more of an immediate. Yeah, just love like that quick win or I'll use them with my patients, like if they're nervous about an IV. I'll be like, do some four, seven, eight breathing, and then it's like they feel better. You see their heart rate go down. I'm like, this shit works. And it's so cool Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Abby: that we have teachers out there teaching you know, how to do this and what this can look like in an accessible way. Chelsea Henderson: Absolutely yes. Nichole Adams: Yeah, I mean, our culture is based on quick wins. it needs like people want instant returns. So it's like, how do we, how do I provide that to them then? Like, I know that's what I wanted. I needed it now. That's why I was a crisis meditator. So it's Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Nichole Adams: like, how can we start doing that? Giving it to people. I mean, one of my practices, Abby: Yep. Nichole Adams: the shortest one I have is 16 seconds long. So. Chelsea Henderson: It's amazing. It's Abby: Wow. Amazing. Chelsea Henderson: very apt for this culture. And also it almost always inevitably leads into more. You know, that sixteen seconds becomes thirty-two Nichole Adams: Yes. Chelsea Henderson: seconds becomes, you know, sixty-four. I don't need to keep doing the math, but you guys get where I'm going with this. Like it it just Abby: Good job. Chelsea Henderson: thank you. It just keeps a hundred and twenty-eight. A hundred and twenty-eight would be next. After Abby: That was impressive to me. I'm so bad at math. I was like, Wow, that's cool. Well. Nichole Adams: Yes. you Chelsea Henderson: that, I'm out. But listen I think I think it's just that ripple effect is real, you know. It it does work. And so then and that feels so that's accessible. That's accessible to anybody. You know, anybody who's like, I don't have the time, you don't have sixteen seconds, get real. And that's you know, we we we all do and once you feel the benefit suddenly, you I I do have two minutes. And, you know, for me it's it's more of an attention span thing of just like, do I have the focus? You know, and turns out, yeah, I do. And then every time I do a little one, I have a I have capacity for a little bit more. And it develops that. And and then you can be a an in the moment meditator, if you will, of like, you know, that I'm Abby: Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: in a moment that feels heightened to me and my typical response would be to lash out. And treat people unkindly because I feel unkindly. And instead I'm coming back into that practice. Take that deep breath and then you're triggering that whole series of that sequence that you've built, that practice that you've built, and then you respond differently. And then they respond differently. And you change that's all changing the world one little exchange at a time. So yeah, I think that brings us right back to where we were. At the hide at the top of the conversation of like that's that's the that's this beautiful work that we get to do and share. So it's pretty potent. Nichole Adams: Mm-hmm. Abby: Yeah. Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: Mm. Abby: I even love the the idea of like, I don't I don't know if this is even meditation, but like I have I love wearing stones. So Chelsea Henderson: Mm. Abby: I have like little bracelets that I wear every day that are made out of like Jasper or different stones and do I know the properties? No. I know again, I'm like, Nichole Adams: Thank Abby: Jasper But I don't know like what the prosperities of that is but that makes me feel grounded or I love like Chelsea you've talked about wearing clothing that's comfortable like cotton and linen and things that aren't too tight and like there's just these rituals of like how I w clothe myself even that I'm like I like to feel breezy and Chelsea Henderson: Absolutely. Yeah. Abby: comfortable and like aerated and like grounded with my stones or whatever and like all of those things I feel like Chelsea Henderson: Yes. Abby: are part of the practice too. Chelsea Henderson: Because it's all bringing us back Nichole Adams: Absolutely. Chelsea Henderson: to the moment, bringing us back to our bodies. I think that really is the foundation Nichole Adams: Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: of it. So, ma'am. All right. Nichole Adams: Yes. Abby: Beautiful. Chelsea Henderson: Well, Nicole, I'm really, really excited to be building some things with you as offerings and to be connected with you. And and I'm gonna just say really selfishly, I'm super excited to get to be the beneficiary of your offerings. Cause I am going to be participating. Nichole Adams: Thank Abby: Agreed. Chelsea Henderson: and I'm just excited to see how that all unfolds. I'm excited that you exist in the world and that you are working on you know, gosh, it just it came to me the other day. I was talking to my son and I said, I just I just wanna be a better person. You know, I just I w I wanna work toward that. I wanna be a better person so that he can be a better person, you know, so that my husband can be a better person. Not that they need me to do it for them, but just that If I'm doing it, they're doing it. You you all are doing it. We're doing it together and it's so simple. And two minutes. You're awesome. I love you. speaking of which. and and you're you're do you are that. You're doing that, right? I mean, it just the the first time I met Abby, I was like, That woman is she's a good person. She's working on being a better person, right? That's you. And it it just Just makes me want to keep doing this whole human thing 'cause it gets really, really hard sometimes. So I'm really grateful that you are you, that you're my friend and that we spent this time together this morning and that we're gonna keep creating things together and that you're offering this beautiful offering in an accessible way that even a cuckoo neurodivergent woman like me can can try and keep up with. So Nichole Adams: you Chelsea Henderson: thank you very, very much. And thank you for being here with us and for just sharing your story and being vulnerable and true to yourself. It's inspiring. I feel I feel better for being here with you both. So thank you. Abby: Thank you, Chelsea. Nichole Adams: Thank you so much. Chelsea Henderson: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Nichole Adams: That means a lot. I'm really grateful for the opportunity to be here too and share my story. And it's so scary for me too. So I'm learning as I go and I'm grateful to have a supportive place to do that and share and become a better version or the actual version of myself, the true version of myself. So thank you. Chelsea Henderson: Mmm. Mmm. Abby: Ooh, I love that. Chelsea Henderson: Very well put. Yes. Yay! Alright. Well, Abby: Yeah. Beautiful. And yay. Chelsea Henderson: thank you for this. Thank you for everyone who joined us today. And I'm excited to be putting out some really cool offerings with you, Nicole, and and for you to share this work. It's important. So Abby: Yeah. Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: lots of love and until next time, and thank you. Kisses. Abby: Yes. Nichole Adams: Thank you. Abby: Yay.