Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / The Party Every Parent Dreams Of: Loud, Fun… and Totally Sober

Transcript

The Party Every Parent Dreams Of: Loud, Fun… and Totally Sober · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: I'll Do Better Tomorrow. It's the Happy Families Podcast, the
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: most downloaded parenting podcast in Australia, and today on the pod,
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: a nine dollars ninety nine Bunnings hack that could revolutionize
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: your relationship with your kids, a needy daughter who just
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: has to be talked about in today's podcast, and a
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: big eighteenth in our home. How did we handle all
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: of the challenges that come with an eighteenth at a
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: small suburban block. We'll discuss that and a whole lot
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: more right after this. Gooday thanks to joining us on
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: the Happy Families Podcast, Real parenting solutions every day. We
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: are Justin and Kylie Coulson. A couple of news items
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: before we get into I'll Do Better Tomorrow. First up,
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: Yours truly featured on the Will and Woody radio show
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: on Kiss one oh six point five in Sydney this week.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: The big topic was an ABC article talking about how
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: dad's a shirking response ability when it comes to talking
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: about intimacy, talking about those special kinds of connection, Kylie,
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: those special moments, and I got in there and said,
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: dads are not pulling their weight. They need to do better.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: How is dad's not talking to young boys about sex
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: affecting them.
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: This is such a tricky one to answer, guys, but
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: fundamentally what's happening is the load is falling on mum's
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: dads are shirking it. And in research where teenage boys
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: are interviewed about this, as much as they pretend that
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: they don't care, they don't want to know, and they
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: know it all already, they actually consistently say that they
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: want to hear about it, specifically from their dads.
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: Your reactions.
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: So many times dads just leave those tricky conversations to
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: mum and expect that she's going to do it all.
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  Speaker 3: But what they're missing is the acknowledgment that there's two
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: sides to the story and our kids need to hear it.
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: They need to actually understand and know the ins and
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: outs of both sides.
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: I can't believe you said ins and outs with a
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: conversation like this, but thanks so much. Was it in appropriate?
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, so sorry. I hope that doesn't get
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: me canceled. The other thing that I was going to
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: say that they missed, I said it is the yeah
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: I made the joke. Is the connection, the quality of
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: the connection, like you have these moments with the kids
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: and they just made it so much. Anyway, that was
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: a big interview and I felt like I really enjoyed
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: talking to William Woody. I've had a number of conversations
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: with them recently and it always goes well, they're great listeners,
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: like they're really in the moment, and I love that
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: about being on air with people who are like that.
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: Some people just rush through the conversation. These guys nail it.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: In other news, something that caught my attention this week
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: and I thought, well, it's not really a full episode,
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: but I could mention it quickly on Friday, where I
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: usually drop whatever is going on. And izy Mum, a
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: teenage son, has shared the unlikely item that has helped
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: her unlock a genius parenting hack. It's ten bucks. You
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: can get it at Bunnings. It's a wireless doorbill.
• 2:58
  Speaker 4: When you have a teenager games and so many of
• 3:02
  Speaker 4: them do like he's either got his big headset on
• 3:05
  Speaker 4: and he's X boxing his life away, or he's got
• 3:09
  Speaker 4: air pods in and he's listening to music, in which
• 3:12
  Speaker 4: case he will never hear me. Okay, he's disconnecting from
• 3:14
  Speaker 4: our family. So the doorbell allows me to communicate with
• 3:20
  Speaker 4: him without me raising my voice. So he hears the doorbell.
• 3:25
  Speaker 4: It's an immediate Pavlov's dog type of reaction. He walks
• 3:29
  Speaker 4: upstairs and he says, yes, Mum, he loves it. I
• 3:33
  Speaker 4: love it. We all love it. It's working so well
• 3:37
  Speaker 4: for us Kylie.
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: Podcaster and former radio host Lisa Carlaw grab that doorbell
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: at Buddings because she was sick of yelling out to
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  Speaker 1: her teenage son in his bedroom. There's no pestering, there's
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: no nagging, there's no hankering, and if he doesn't show up,
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: she just gets to push the doorbell again.
• 3:53
  Speaker 3: Is she a mum's fred? Go on? I'm sure, I'm
• 3:58
  Speaker 3: sure I remember you telling me that your mum did
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: something similar when you guys were growing up.
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: No, not that I can remember. I mean I've heard
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: I've heard stories of bells ringing and that kind of stuff.
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: But this is genius because it only rings in his room.
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  Speaker 3: Well, she only has one child, obviously. Could you imagine
• 4:12
  Speaker 3: I would have to have a smaller sport with six storebells.
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  Speaker 3: It reminds me of like Cinderella. Cinderella and all those
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: bedrooms are dinging for her attention.
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: Well, well, really, we have a small house, so first
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: of all, we don't have to yell. We just have
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: to speak somebody's name and they hearers. But secondly, because
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: we have a small house and the kids are all
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: sharing rooms, we'd only need three door bells.
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah. See, our hackers actually speak as quiet as possible,
• 4:34
  Speaker 3: and you can bet your bottom dollar they'll hear it.
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, there's nothing the matter with their hearing, even though
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: they pretend. All right, Kylie, this is the bit where
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: we step into the week that was. We talk about
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: what worked and what didn't I'll do better tomorrow. It's
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: an opportunity for us to be intentional and give every
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: mum and dad listening to the podcast a chance to
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: reflect on their own week, think about what they would
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: do in this situation, and hopefully nail it when it
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: happens for them. You're up first.
• 4:58
  Speaker 3: So we mentioned a couple of weeks ago that our
• 5:02
  Speaker 3: baby number four turned eighteen, and so over the last
• 5:06
  Speaker 3: handful of months, she's been invited to a handful of
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  Speaker 3: parties that would either be celebrating seventeen or eighteen year olds.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, like kids are finishing high school. These are the big.
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: Days yeah, And as a result, we've had to have
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  Speaker 3: lots of conversations about what behaviors are going to be
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  Speaker 3: president at the party, whether or not they'll be alcohol.
• 5:26
  Speaker 3: And I was really surprised. One of her really close
• 5:30
  Speaker 3: friends was having a party and I know that she
• 5:33
  Speaker 3: doesn't drink, and when I asked our daughter if there
• 5:37
  Speaker 3: was going to be alcohol at the party, she said, yeah,
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: but her parents aren't supplying it. It's just to bring
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  Speaker 3: your own kind of thing.
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: The answer is always yes. At this age, right end
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: of your eleven and of your twelve, the answer is essentially,
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: if the kid's going to a party, there's going to
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: be booz there's going to be grown, there's going to
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: be there's going to be plonk caller what you will.
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: There's going to be kids that are completely stonkeerd in
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: the bushes somewhere because they've just gone way too hard.
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  Speaker 3: It just it intrigues me that people who and parents
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: specifically who aren't drinkers, are allowing kids to come along
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: who are underage and bring their own alcohol. And so
• 6:10
  Speaker 3: with her party coming up, it was there was no
• 6:12
  Speaker 3: conversation needed, Like it was, it was entirely agreed upon
• 6:18
  Speaker 3: with both of us that there would be no alcohol.
• 6:21
  Speaker 3: And what I loved was watching these eighteen plus year
• 6:25
  Speaker 3: old kids it come into our home and just play
• 6:30
  Speaker 3: games like I'm talking the bad game. If you haven't
• 6:33
  Speaker 3: played the bad game, you've got to play the bad game. Yeah.
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: I don't know if it's got a proper name, but
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: it's a bad game. It's just a flexibility test. Like
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: you put one of those you can do it with
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: the cereal box. It doesn't really matter. Just something that
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: sits on its base and is upright and you can
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: tear so you have no hands, no floor, no knees, right,
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: so just staying on your feet, you've got to be
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: able to bend down, use your mouth to pick it up,
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: and then you rip around like you gets. Yeah, rip
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: a centimeter or five centimeters or whatever you want out
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: of the top of the box, and the next person
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: is therefore going a bit lower. They made so much
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: noise you would think that it was the biggest night
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: of the year in football. And we had the entire
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: nable here. Every time somebody's like, come on, you can
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: do it, you can do it, and they're stretching all
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: the way down and then when they.
• 7:14
  Speaker 3: Go it pulls a hammy.
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  Speaker 1: It was amazing. This is at ten o'clock at night.
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  Speaker 1: They're screaming the neighborhood down because and no alcohol involved, right,
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: So you can have fun and not drink.
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  Speaker 3: And that's what I loved, And I really just want
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  Speaker 3: to highlight the opportunity we have to help our children
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  Speaker 3: recognize and witness that you can have fun without the
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: aid of substance, whether that be drugs or alcohol, and
• 7:40
  Speaker 3: that it's all about the company that you keep. And
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: so having these kids in our home and just seeing
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  Speaker 3: them excited to be together and to spend time together
• 7:50
  Speaker 3: and be able to remember what happened the next day,
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  Speaker 3: it was a highlight of my week.
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean there's a lot of people who will
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: be like, no, no, no, because they're eighteen, this is our
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: chance to finally go out and buy them their first
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: drink and that kind of thing. And if that's where
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: you're at, then that's fine. We're not being judging about it.
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  Speaker 1: The thing that is worth highlighting here is that alcohol
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  Speaker 1: is not necessary, and we have a culture that is
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: frankly obsessed with it, and yet we had a house
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: full of teenagers and early twenties kids who didn't ask,
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: didn't have any interest. We said a really clear boundary.
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: Our daughter was completely on board anyway, she's not interested
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: in it, and they, I mean, I kicked them out
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: a little after midnight because you and I had to
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: get up the next morning for some stuff. And I
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: was like, and we had kids that needed to get
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: up for it, Like it was like, guys, seriously, like
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: just go home already. And they didn't want to go.
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  Speaker 1: They were having such a good time. It's like twelve thirty.
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: And I was like, no, no, no, it's so I've become
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: the grumpcha part, I've become the grump.
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: Well, if it's any consolation, it took me two days
• 8:48
  Speaker 3: to recover.
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: I don't think you have. It's been a week and
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: I don't think you have. You might be right, yeah,
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: all right, Hey, after the break, a daughter who is
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: looking for a shout out on the pod and some
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: really good news about what happens when you work with
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: your kids in ways that buck trends, but still give
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: them framework, structures and guidance to be successful. This is
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: The Happy Family's podcast, Real Parenting Solutions. Every single day
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: we are Justin and Kylie Colson welcome back, Kylie. We've
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: got a fifteen year old daughter who listens clandestinely to
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: the podcast.
• 9:32
  Speaker 3: She might have sat down at the dining table and
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: asked us what we're going to be talking about this week?
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, So a couple of times in the last
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: few weeks, I've heard her listening to the pod, Like
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: she'll be out in the yard, or she'll be on
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: the back deck or something, and I'm like, what are
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: you listening to? Oh, you're listening to She listens to
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: the Happy Family's podcast just for Fridays.
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: She wants to know whether or knows she's talked about.
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: Right, So she's missing all the good stuff and she
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: just wants to hear the family news and stuff that
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: we share on our news day. So anyway, let's mention her, Lily,
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: because in case she's listening, this one's for you really
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: wants today to be all about her. You've already talked
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: about Annie, our eighteen year old. This one's fifteen. So
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: I want to go back to the party real quick.
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: She wasn't supposed to stay up all night with everyone else.
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: We did ask her to go to bed a couple
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: of times, and she just kept on looking at me
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: with those pleading eyes, like this is wholesome, this is fun,
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: this is good. I want to be part of it.
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: And eventually I got to the point where I was like,
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to argue with you and cause a
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: scene in front of everyone, but I'm not happy because
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: tomorrow you're going to be a disaster. That's what fifteen
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: year olds are like when they party too hard with
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: their big sisters, right. And so she said to me, Dad,
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: I promise I'll be perfect. I promise I'll be perfect,
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: big Woods. But we set it up so that she
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: knew that the expectation was the next day, she'll be perfect.
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: And guess what she was perfect?
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: She was.
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: And so you know what I did. As we got
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: to the end of Saturday, I commended her for being perfect.
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: I said, today, you have actually been outstanding. You've done
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: everything you said that you would do last night for
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: the privilege of staying up after midnight. But here's what
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: happens when you have a really late night like that.
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: Quite often it's not the next day that's bad, it's
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: the day after. So I said, I expect perfection from
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: you tomorrow as well. I milked it for an extra
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: day and she looked at me with those big beautiful
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: eyes and she said, okay, Daddy, And I was like, oh, yeah,
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: this is working. I think we should do this more often.
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: So I milked two days of perfection that fair. She
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: was pretty ready on Monday and Tuesday, come to think
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: of it, but we got two really good days out
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: of it.
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: Now.
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: The other thing that I do want to highlight on,
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: and this is the big win. So we've made no
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: secret of the frustration that we experience with the school system. Generally,
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: the school system. Many teachers agree, many principles agree. We're
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: not the only ones saying this is it doesn't feel
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: like it's fit for purpose. It often feels like the
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: school playground environment is I'm just going to say I'm
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: healthy for a lot of kids, there's just some really
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: awful stuff that happens. So we're home schooling our youngest
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: at the moment. Although I'm starting to get tired of
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: that wanting.
• 12:01
  Speaker 3: You're starting to get tired. Pid have you done well.
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: I've tried a couple of times and she just fin'd
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: do it, and I'm like, gosh, this is hard. You seem
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: to have a lot more success, but I'm tired of
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: it on behalf of you? How's that?
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: Thank you?
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: And we put Lily into vocational school after a year
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: and a half of homeschooling, so she didn't want to
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: go back into a traditional system. She wanted to go
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: into like well, it's called the industry School, but it's
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: basically a vocational school where the kids are doing five
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: weeks of industry placement each term and then five weeks
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: of schoolwork and they're on a non etar path, which
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: is fine by me because I'm really begone gap years.
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: I've been researching for my book. Oh this is the
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: biggest news. Well, I can't believe I haven't told you this.
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: I haven't mentioned this on the podcast. Sorry interrupting the
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: story about Lily for just a sec. I have been
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: working how many hours a day for the last four six,
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: eight weeks?
• 12:49
  Speaker 3: And ask me please?
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: Fourteen fifteen, sixteen hours a day. It's been rotten seven
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: seven days a week.
• 12:55
  Speaker 3: Terrible, no good, very bad.
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: And the news is as of today as i've today,
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: I have finished my book. The Boys book is done.
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: It is done.
• 13:05
  Speaker 4: It's done.
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: Can I just hear some cheering from you? Please? Oh
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: my goodness, Oh I feel like I'm alive again, Like
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: this is so great. Anyway, the Boys book is done.
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: And this week as I was writing a chapter, I
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: was writing a chapter about gap years. There's actually a
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: whole lot of research. There's a whole lot of research
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: that shows that gap years lead to more motivated students,
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: gap years lead to better educational outcomes. And so back
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: to Lily. Oh gosh, I'm so excited. This book is done,
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: comes out early next year. Comes out early next year.
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: Jump on a Happy Families dot com dotu and register
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: your interest for this book called Boys. Oh it's going
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: to be such a good book. I think I think
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: it's going to tell one hundred thousand copies. I think
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: it's gonna be the best book that I've ever written.
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: I'm so pumped for it. Everyone, everyone who has a
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: boy is going to want to be on this book.
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: I've I've busted himself for three and a half years.
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: Let me get back to the story about Lily. Sorry,
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: I've suddenly I've suddenly found my energy, Kylie. I'm so pumped.
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: So because we're big on gap years, and the research
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: seems to support the use of gap years, and atar
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: is only relevant for the first two years out of
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: high school, then the ATAR is not relevant. You applied
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: for university as a mature age student on.
• 14:07
  Speaker 3: The first first year twelve months.
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: Years two years is where it's valid. But then you
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: apply as a mature age student and you get into
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: UNI that way. And so we've put Lily into this
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: Industry School, which is a non ATAR school, because we
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: want her to have a gap year or two when
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: she's finished school. Anyway, go up and work, be productive,
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: learn about life, mature, grow up, and then if she
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: should choose to go to university, she will be able
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: to apply as mature age students say hey, look what
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: I've done last couple of years. I'm productive, and now
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: I really know that I want to go to UNI,
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: assuming that's the path that she chooses. But this week
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: she sat down with one of the big bosses, one
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: of the heads of school at her campus of the
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: Industry School, and she talked about what her long term
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: goals are well after high school, and she is now
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: getting herself organized for trainee ships, school based trainee ships,
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: and headstart courses for university so that she can make
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: sure that she's got the pre recks she reckons. She
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: knows where she wants to go, what she wants to do,
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: And I'm looking at this and just going the standardized
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: path is not what everyone has to do. There are
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: challenges no matter which way you go. But I just
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: felt so assured, so grateful, so delighted that she's stepping
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: into an area that fills her with delight. She loves
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: being at the school, well my own. She still has days,
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: but she loves what she's doing. And for me, this
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: the I'll do better tomorrow is if the standardized path
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: isn't working, stop trying to make it work. Stop trying
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: to force your kids to fit into something that doesn't fit,
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: because there are so many alternative pathways that can be
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: so so so beneficial for the kids. That's it.
• 15:35
  Speaker 3: So what I love about what Lily's doing right now
• 15:39
  Speaker 3: is just the fact that she's been able to tap
• 15:42
  Speaker 3: into an area that she loves, but she also recognizes
• 15:45
  Speaker 3: that it doesn't have a lot of longevity. It's not
• 15:48
  Speaker 3: an area that she could do for the rest of
• 15:51
  Speaker 3: her life, and so the school has worked with her
• 15:54
  Speaker 3: to help her recognize the other areas that she could
• 15:58
  Speaker 3: navigate now as a high school student, to prepare her
• 16:04
  Speaker 3: for the future.
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: It's so great.
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: She's not boxed in. They're actually widening her horizons and
• 16:12
  Speaker 3: her perspective and her viewpoint on what ourse is out there.
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: Ironically, on half the amount of time spending the classroom
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: with non atar subjects and non atar pathways. And this
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: is the thing that I want to emphasize so strongly.
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: If your kids don't love school, if your children aren't
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: showing any academic promise, if it looks like they're really
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: faltering and unsure, life is long, and there are so
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: many opportunities for them after school, and there are even
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: so many opportunities for them in school to head in
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: different directions. That's my older bit of tomorrow. I hope
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: that Lifiel's pleased that we've mentioned her name enough times
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: in the podcast today.
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: Well maybe because we've mentioned them enough times, she might
• 16:49
  Speaker 3: get to school on time. What do you reckon?
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: Well, it's Queensland school holidays, so we don't have to
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: even think about that for a couple of weeks, like
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: for the next couple of weeks more, no more dramas
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: around that. Hey, we really appreciate that you've been listening
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: to a Happy Families podcast. Thank you for choosing to
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: spend your time with us. It really does mean a lot.
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: Queensland and Victoria are on school holidays as of today,
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: so to the Northern Territory. The other states they pick
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: it up in the next couple of weeks. Have a
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: great weekend if the kids are on holidays, enjoy. We'll
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: continue to have podcasts for you every single day right
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: through the holidays because this is Australia's most downlad period
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: in podcast and we know that it makes a difference
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: in making your family happier. If you'd like more resources
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: about making your family happier, visit us at Happyfamilies dot
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: com dot you and remember to subscribe so that we
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: can let you know everything about the upcoming Boys book
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: launch in the next few months.