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Meet the Parents · The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: This is the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: with iHeartRadio.
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: It's almost Famous podcast.
• 0:06
  Speaker 3: We are here today with a very special episode. We
• 0:08
  Speaker 3: have two people very close to me and my life.
• 0:11
  Speaker 3: My parents are joining us today, Dave and Amy Higgins,
• 0:14
  Speaker 3: the newest grandparents of Wainona Elaine Higgins. I am an
• 0:18
  Speaker 3: only child actually, to remind everybody, and so this like
• 0:21
  Speaker 3: I'm their one and only shot at having a kid, grandchild.
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: I'm having a kid. Yeah, you're a grandchild.
• 0:31
  Speaker 3: We are here in Evergreen, Colorado today because my parents
• 0:34
  Speaker 3: have been out here. They came out five days before
• 0:38
  Speaker 3: when he was born. We have like the last five
• 0:40
  Speaker 3: days together, got to hang out and then they rented
• 0:45
  Speaker 3: an airbnb through the month, so they're here for another
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: week helping out around the house. We remodeled a bathroom.
• 0:52
  Speaker 3: We'll talk about all this stuff we've been up to
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: obviously hanging out with Winny a Ton.
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: It's been an amazing time. So we're gonna break down.
• 0:59
  Speaker 3: I think today, according to the notes that I have
• 1:02
  Speaker 3: what it's like to be grandparents.
• 1:04
  Speaker 4: I know this is so exciting.
• 1:06
  Speaker 5: We've been talking to Ben so much, but I had
• 1:08
  Speaker 5: no idea you guys were staying there for the entire month,
• 1:10
  Speaker 5: or you were there before the baby was born. I
• 1:13
  Speaker 5: love that idea. That's great for grandparents that live out
• 1:16
  Speaker 5: of state. I but hello, hello, and welcome to the podcast.
• 1:20
  Speaker 5: Mister missus Higgins. It's so lovely to have.
• 1:22
  Speaker 6: You, Thanks for having us.
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: Good to see you.
• 1:25
  Speaker 4: Ashley, good to see too.
• 1:27
  Speaker 5: You guys are so sweet and I'm so happy that
• 1:29
  Speaker 5: your grandparents yees. Like Ben said, I do feel like
• 1:32
  Speaker 5: it almost adds a little special element being that you
• 1:36
  Speaker 5: do have an only child that like now you kind
• 1:39
  Speaker 5: of have your second child in a way in a
• 1:44
  Speaker 5: grand child. Tell us about the story in which Ben
• 1:49
  Speaker 5: told you that you were going to be grandparents.
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: That is David's Let him tell that story, because okay
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: was great.
• 1:57
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 1:58
  Speaker 7: So back around Father's Day, we drove out here in
• 2:01
  Speaker 7: r V and when we hit then in Jess's house.
• 2:06
  Speaker 7: We went in the house and we were probably not
• 2:08
  Speaker 7: even in the house for no more than five minutes actually,
• 2:12
  Speaker 7: and Jess goes, I want to see the RV. So
• 2:14
  Speaker 7: we go out and she presents me with a Father's
• 2:18
  Speaker 7: Day card and I'm going to mess up probably the
• 2:22
  Speaker 7: verbiage of it, but the key was.
• 2:26
  Speaker 6: You're not only you're not only a great father, you're
• 2:29
  Speaker 6: also a great grandfather.
• 2:33
  Speaker 4: Not a great grandfather.
• 2:37
  Speaker 6: And I looked there and go, are you telling me something?
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: Girl?
• 2:40
  Speaker 6: And she goes yep, And then everything went south from there.
• 2:44
  Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, I love that.
• 2:48
  Speaker 5: Oh that's awesome. How in the loop were you about
• 2:52
  Speaker 5: them trying to conceive?
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: Oh, I mean.
• 2:57
  Speaker 4: We knew when.
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: Kind of the timeline of when they thought they wanted
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: to start trying, and then we knew you know, a
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: lot about the just things that went into to that,
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: and not a lot of detail, but we knew they
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: were actively trying, and so you know, we were patiently
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: waiting for that big news someday. And yeah, no, it
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: was great.
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: Actually, I don't know if your parents were this way,
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: and maybe it's just a memory I made up of
• 3:26
  Speaker 3: my head, but I felt like, like, in the most
• 3:29
  Speaker 3: healthy way possible, they've wanted to be grandparents since I
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: was like a child. Like I feel like they all
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: like they had a kid to be grandparents.
• 3:38
  Speaker 4: That was well, my mom was definitely like your biological
• 3:43
  Speaker 4: clock by a.
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  Speaker 5: Grandma, you know, like once I was in my upper twenties,
• 3:47
  Speaker 5: she and then you know, she was always like, why.
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  Speaker 4: Do you want to wait another like two years? You know,
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  Speaker 4: blah blahlah blah.
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  Speaker 5: We were married, It's like, mom, chill out. Yes, she
• 3:58
  Speaker 5: was very eager. My dad honestly didn't like give a crapola.
• 4:03
  Speaker 5: But then when the kids were here, my dad was
• 4:05
  Speaker 5: very excited about them. So, guys, I need to know
• 4:10
  Speaker 5: about how Ben has been as a dad so far.
• 4:14
  Speaker 5: Is he fitting the exact involved as you imagined?
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: You know?
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  Speaker 6: I never had a doubt.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, none of us did, but I just couldn't believe that.
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  Speaker 1: Like even the very first time we met mynah at
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  Speaker 1: the hospital and she needed to diaper change.
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  Speaker 6: I mean, this.
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  Speaker 1: Boy picked her up, took her ride over, started in,
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  Speaker 1: told me all about the proper ways that you were
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: supposed to clean a baby girl up and be careful
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: of her umbilical cord, you know, and just was diapering
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  Speaker 1: this brand new baby up. And I just was I
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: was just thrilled.
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  Speaker 8: I knew he was born for it good, you know,
• 4:58
  Speaker 8: I mean, he's just he's just such a tender person anyway,
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  Speaker 8: So now it didn't surprise me at all that he
• 5:04
  Speaker 8: jumped right in there, but it was it was just
• 5:06
  Speaker 8: too sweet to see.
• 5:07
  Speaker 6: I'll tell you I had.
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: To watch a lot of videos. It's front to back.
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: Just let everybody know when you have a baby girl,
• 5:11
  Speaker 3: you have to make sure you go front to back.
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: Un wipe.
• 5:15
  Speaker 5: Yes, guys, have you been How was your role been
• 5:20
  Speaker 5: at the house. I know you're probably trying to balance
• 5:23
  Speaker 5: that delicate line that is like being helpful but not
• 5:27
  Speaker 5: being overbearing.
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, how do you think we've managed that?
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  Speaker 6: I think pretty well. You know, it is very interesting.
• 5:33
  Speaker 7: When we first got back from the hospital, Ben and
• 5:37
  Speaker 7: Justin bte us over and they kind of had this plan,
• 5:41
  Speaker 7: this daily plan as far as here's the feeding, here's
• 5:44
  Speaker 7: the quiet time, here's when we need some help. So
• 5:49
  Speaker 7: they did a really great job of laying that out.
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  Speaker 7: And like Ben said, you know, we had some projects
• 5:54
  Speaker 7: to do as a bathroom model, that type of thing.
• 5:59
  Speaker 7: So it was really well planned by those two and
• 6:03
  Speaker 7: it made it made it easy.
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: I have to say, I was so thankful after the
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: first the couple first days that the kids took guests
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: work out of it for us to so that we
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: didn't feel like awkward and what do we do with ourselves?
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  Speaker 1: They set out a really nice timeline and.
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  Speaker 6: I really appreciated it because it's worked.
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: Really I think it's worked really well, and we've been
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: very productive. We've got a lot of great things done,
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: and I think for me, a lot of it has
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: just been that freedom to know not only what our
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: expectations they expected from us, but just to be able
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: to spend enough time that we can watch the two
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: of them as new parents. And I tell you, Jessica
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: is the m them both are just rocking it that
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: I can't be more proud of.
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  Speaker 2: Them than well, just they're crushing it.
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  Speaker 6: They're crushing it.
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  Speaker 3: There's a you know, when we got home, so originally Ashley,
• 7:02
  Speaker 3: about a month ago, I had this really solid thought
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: in my head, I want to spend the first two
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: nights without anybody coming.
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: Over at home.
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: Well that didn't really work out because Jess's family, based
• 7:15
  Speaker 3: on when we had Winnie, their last day in Denver
• 7:19
  Speaker 3: was the day we got home from the hospital, and like,
• 7:21
  Speaker 3: we're not going to tell them, hey, sorry, don't come over,
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  Speaker 3: we want them over.
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: And so they came over.
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  Speaker 3: And then that night Jessica and I sat and talked
• 7:29
  Speaker 3: and said, hey, what do we want out of these
• 7:32
  Speaker 3: first couple of weeks?
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  Speaker 2: And part of that was okay.
• 7:34
  Speaker 3: We won a few days just us to kind of
• 7:37
  Speaker 3: get in start getting into that routine of what it's
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  Speaker 3: going to look like.
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  Speaker 2: But we also want.
• 7:41
  Speaker 3: People around because that's really fun to like experience, and
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: so we set up like a schedule because I think
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: the best communication is the clearest communication. It also is
• 7:52
  Speaker 3: very important to note that my family does not sit
• 7:57
  Speaker 3: well ever, and so we had to have a project,
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: and so we did. We remodeled the bathroom in the
• 8:03
  Speaker 3: course of this month. That's great that they help with
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  Speaker 3: and so it's gone really great. I mean they've gotten
• 8:09
  Speaker 3: good time with Winnie, They've gotten to get the memories
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: of seeing.
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  Speaker 2: You know, us start to become parents.
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  Speaker 3: And then also we've gotten a lot done around the
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  Speaker 3: house that's going to be really helpful for us for
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  Speaker 3: the future.
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  Speaker 4: That's perfect. You guys have the right mentality.
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  Speaker 2: Super quality time with Whalen man. Yeah, and the dog.
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  Speaker 3: Ben.
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  Speaker 5: What's your relationship with Whalen now? Because I told him,
• 8:32
  Speaker 5: I was like, you are going to of course love
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  Speaker 5: Whalen still, but he will not no longer be your baby.
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  Speaker 2: You're wrong. It's closer than ever.
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  Speaker 4: And that's just because he's so obsessed with winning.
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  Speaker 3: It really is because he's made it so easy, like
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  Speaker 3: he's been the best dog to her.
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  Speaker 2: He licks her in the morning, he looks her at night.
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  Speaker 2: It's so and then he kind of leaves her alone
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: the rest of the day. But if she naps on
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: the couch and her like.
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: Sleepy pillow thing, he lays his head right next to
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  Speaker 3: hers and falls asleep too.
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  Speaker 4: That's so cute.
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  Speaker 3: I just like and so nowadays, like my we have
• 9:10
  Speaker 3: a very similar team. You want to get him out,
• 9:12
  Speaker 3: so I walk with him a lot, whereas I'm so
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: proud of that dude.
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  Speaker 2: He's the best.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's really sweet of him.
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  Speaker 5: What is your biggest piece of advice for Ben now
• 9:30
  Speaker 5: that he is a father, If you could like go
• 9:33
  Speaker 5: back in time and give yourselves advice about parenting, what
• 9:36
  Speaker 5: would it be?
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  Speaker 4: I know this is like a huge vague question, but
• 9:41
  Speaker 4: or not.
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  Speaker 2: Just me, anybody listening to Yeah, of course, like anybody.
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  Speaker 9: Yeah, okay, I think for me, I'm not speaking for David,
• 9:49
  Speaker 9: but for me I and it's been one of my
• 9:54
  Speaker 9: things even when we were raising Ben, was too not
• 9:59
  Speaker 9: only just do your best to raise a healthy human.
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  Speaker 7: But.
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: To be willing to kind of be patient and struggle
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: through the what it takes to raise an individual like
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: so give them, Give your child, even as a newborn,
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: even the opportunity to kind of learn for themselves the
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: things that.
• 10:27
  Speaker 5: They like, or to.
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: Explore different options and have conversations, to have a healthy
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: environment to agree or disagree. And you know, I think
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: that starts early on, even you know, And so for me,
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: that's I just always wanted to make sure that I
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: was raising a child who learned to know themselves.
• 10:56
  Speaker 6: So I don't know about you.
• 10:57
  Speaker 7: Yeah, well, it's been fun to witness it from our
• 11:01
  Speaker 7: aspect because Ben and Jess have just absolutely done a
• 11:04
  Speaker 7: great job.
• 11:05
  Speaker 6: And you know, one of the things that I would encourage.
• 11:07
  Speaker 7: Him to do is to to live in the moment
• 11:11
  Speaker 7: because these moments are so special right now, Yeah, and it.
• 11:16
  Speaker 6: Goes fast and yeah, you know, you know how it
• 11:22
  Speaker 6: was really really fast.
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  Speaker 7: So I think what they've done at this point in time,
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  Speaker 7: the foundation that they've laid, has been absolutely marvelous.
• 11:32
  Speaker 6: And uh, it's been fun to witness it really is
• 11:37
  Speaker 6: so sweet.
• 11:38
  Speaker 3: The one thing when people say like, well, what was
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: the differentiator with your childhood? You know, obviously being an
• 11:44
  Speaker 3: only child, people have their you know, assumptions of what
• 11:48
  Speaker 3: life was like growing up. And that was one thing
• 11:51
  Speaker 3: that was always really good about our HOUSEPLD was I
• 11:53
  Speaker 3: was never spoiled.
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  Speaker 4: You only had balls. I know this, that's the only
• 11:57
  Speaker 4: toy you got. That's the only toy.
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I have any I mean literally, if you asked them,
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: I would say, YE had a closet full. But but
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: the like I probably was.
• 12:08
  Speaker 3: They went a little like on the opposite of spoiling.
• 12:10
  Speaker 3: Like it was never this entitlement. You get what you want,
• 12:14
  Speaker 3: you get what you asked for.
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: It was.
• 12:17
  Speaker 3: I never grew up feeling like I was owed anything,
• 12:20
  Speaker 3: which is I think a really healthy way to grow up,
• 12:23
  Speaker 3: because you don't grow up going the world owes me something.
• 12:26
  Speaker 3: I think The second side of that, which I've always
• 12:28
  Speaker 3: said and they know, is there was our house always
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: had open dialogue. So hey, you know as small as
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: like I don't want to clean my room, Like why
• 12:36
  Speaker 3: would I clean my room today?
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  Speaker 2: I'm going to sleep in it tonight.
• 12:40
  Speaker 3: And being able to have those conversations to because when
• 12:43
  Speaker 3: you're a child, you don't have logic to talk through,
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: you know, respect, cleanliness, hygiene, and like be able to
• 12:51
  Speaker 3: have that explain to you other than just themnds that
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: some adult gives a child I think really helps a
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: child like under like get a picture of what we're
• 13:00
  Speaker 3: in the world and what doesn't.
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: And then as you get older, you.
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: Have the ability to still ask those questions and stay
• 13:05
  Speaker 3: curious on why is this the way it is or not?
• 13:07
  Speaker 3: And I think those are two things that always stand
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: out to me. That was uniquely different, probably than other households,
• 13:12
  Speaker 3: but set me up to not be devastated by the
• 13:16
  Speaker 3: world once I like got on my own.
• 13:19
  Speaker 5: Oh that makes me feel good because I feel like
• 13:21
  Speaker 5: I do that with Dawson now. When I tell him
• 13:23
  Speaker 5: we're he needs to do something, even if it's as
• 13:27
  Speaker 5: simple as getting dessert after dinner, I'm like, okay, so
• 13:31
  Speaker 5: let me explain to you the situation.
• 13:32
  Speaker 4: And that makes you feel like, oh, I'm doing I'm
• 13:34
  Speaker 4: using a little Higgins family tippit.
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: I love it.
• 13:39
  Speaker 5: Guys, what was the hardest age a parent been at
• 13:44
  Speaker 5: other than teen?
• 13:44
  Speaker 3: Don't like, I think because everybody will say teen. Everybody
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: asked us who says teenage years? And I think that's unfair.
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: Because it comes times.
• 13:51
  Speaker 4: Boys are different.
• 13:52
  Speaker 5: Almost all girl parents say that teenage years are the hardest,
• 13:56
  Speaker 5: but sometimes boy parents are when they're younger me David, Well.
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: I know for me, my hardest parenting times were six
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: months to twelve months Okay, before he was walking. He
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: waited too much.
• 14:13
  Speaker 4: Thank you for validating my feelings on this.
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I just was like, man, this is ridiculous.
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: He can't breathing for himself.
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: He's heavy.
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: This child has to learn to walk. My back is breaking.
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: And it really wasn't until he started to walk that
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: I thought, Oh, hell loujah, I'm going to survive.
• 14:34
  Speaker 4: So okay, because that's where I'm at now.
• 14:36
  Speaker 5: I even apologize to Hated yesterday because he's seven months
• 14:40
  Speaker 5: and I do find that hard. I would say, I
• 14:45
  Speaker 5: think you're probably right with the six months to a year.
• 14:46
  Speaker 5: I sometimes say like four months to like tennish when
• 14:51
  Speaker 5: they start crawling. I feel like I was like apologizing
• 14:55
  Speaker 5: to him because I was like, I'm sorry that your
• 14:57
  Speaker 5: brother gets interacted with all day long. It's just like
• 15:00
  Speaker 5: you're at this weird age where we don't know what
• 15:02
  Speaker 5: to do with you, Like, am I supposed to just
• 15:03
  Speaker 5: like jingle toys that you you can't move, You have
• 15:07
  Speaker 5: to stay in one place all day. You don't understand anything.
• 15:11
  Speaker 5: You have absolutely zero independence, like yes, so thank you.
• 15:15
  Speaker 5: I do think that this is the hardest stage because
• 15:17
  Speaker 5: they're very cognizant to what's going on around them.
• 15:19
  Speaker 4: However, they can't really interact.
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: I agree, Yeah, yeah, okay, how about you, dear.
• 15:25
  Speaker 7: Well, I would say probably more along the lines when
• 15:28
  Speaker 7: Junior highe probably hits.
• 15:32
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 15:32
  Speaker 7: I mean, but you know, that's when all the guys
• 15:34
  Speaker 7: show up at the house and crazy stuff starts going on,
• 15:38
  Speaker 7: and and sleepovers are happening, and mom and dad get
• 15:44
  Speaker 7: very few hours of sleep because a lot of stuff's
• 15:47
  Speaker 7: going on down the basement. And you know, that was
• 15:51
  Speaker 7: probably a difficult time for me personally because I was
• 15:55
  Speaker 7: pretty regimented and you're still working.
• 15:59
  Speaker 6: Yeah yeah, and uh, i'd say, barbaly.
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: That period of time, it goes fast, right though. I
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: mean the way like I think when you're in it.
• 16:09
  Speaker 3: I think the perspective, like they said, enjoy the moments
• 16:12
  Speaker 3: are something I'm learning already because when he turns three
• 16:15
  Speaker 3: weeks old today, which is not old, but it's three weeks,
• 16:18
  Speaker 3: feels like it's flown by. Yeah, that's twenty one days
• 16:22
  Speaker 3: of waking up and seeing her face. But then you
• 16:26
  Speaker 3: think about like middle school and how hard that has
• 16:29
  Speaker 3: to be on a parent, right you have, like you said,
• 16:31
  Speaker 3: sleepover is not getting much sleep. You're the kids are
• 16:33
  Speaker 3: starting to get into things they should not be getting into.
• 16:36
  Speaker 3: But that goes by in two years and then that's
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: done and then all of a sudden you're on your
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: you know, fast track to high school to college and
• 16:43
  Speaker 3: then off and running. And so I think there is
• 16:46
  Speaker 3: always this really important lesson of perspective of time, even
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: in the midst of like these crazy seasons.
• 16:53
  Speaker 5: Yes, is there anything that Ben has been stressing over
• 17:00
  Speaker 5: already or you foresee him stressing over in the future
• 17:04
  Speaker 5: that you just having gone through it, you are like, no, no,
• 17:08
  Speaker 5: please do not stress over that.
• 17:13
  Speaker 4: Oh there's something already. She's looking at him loving.
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: It's just hysterical because when they first been talked about
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: having babies, maybe even before he and just were married,
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: he's like, well, I just can't raise a girl. There's
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: just no way I can't raise a girl. And I said,
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: do you realize by saying that you're gonna have like
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: four girls?
• 17:33
  Speaker 8: Now?
• 17:33
  Speaker 4: I think they're going to have all girls.
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: And I'll tell you what, and immediately I can't imagine anything,
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: but this boy at this moment having a little girl.
• 17:45
  Speaker 9: I mean, yeah, she is.
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: He loves I mean, it's just all over his face
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: how much he just loves watching her. And she already,
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: you know, likes to snuggle on his chest and it's
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: just and he's going to be great no matter what
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: babies he has. But he literally was like stressing over
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: the fact of having a girl. And now already I
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: can see it going, Ah.
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: This is amazing. I have a little girl. Yeah, he paints.
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: He paints the nursery right off the bat. You'll pink.
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, you'll be fine.
• 18:19
  Speaker 4: Oh he is Danny Tanner.
• 18:21
  Speaker 5: Okay, he's gonna have like three girls plus, and he's
• 18:24
  Speaker 5: going to act Jess as a wonderful and wholesome with
• 18:27
  Speaker 5: them and be the perfect guide to life, just as
• 18:29
  Speaker 5: Danny was.
• 18:31
  Speaker 3: The Interesting Ding Ashley, Jessica and I were talking about
• 18:33
  Speaker 3: this last night when I told her that they were
• 18:35
  Speaker 3: going to jump on the show today.
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: You know, we did this episode with just jess and
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: I a few days before when he was born, and.
• 18:42
  Speaker 3: We kind of I think at the end you asked
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: us questions, who's going to stress more, Who's gonna, you know,
• 18:47
  Speaker 3: worry more and all this stuff, and we answered those
• 18:49
  Speaker 3: as honestly as we could. I will say, Jessica like,
• 18:53
  Speaker 3: and I think I said this right away, but it's
• 18:55
  Speaker 3: making more sense to me now, Like she's changed in
• 18:58
  Speaker 3: the best of ways, like the only beautiful of ways,
• 19:01
  Speaker 3: the most like I'm so just like proud to be
• 19:03
  Speaker 3: her husband, excited to be her husband, but like she
• 19:07
  Speaker 3: is all over it. And when I say all, like,
• 19:10
  Speaker 3: they can see this. Like Jessica was somebody who was
• 19:13
  Speaker 3: fairly aloof in like her daily life, but always so intelligent,
• 19:17
  Speaker 3: but like would forget random things of the house or
• 19:21
  Speaker 3: you know, not see something that was on the floor.
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: Something's changed inside of that person. Like she is on
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: top of it. She knows Whennie so well, she cares
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: for Winnie so well.
• 19:34
  Speaker 3: We started today a new ritual where jess has to
• 19:38
  Speaker 3: leave the house by herself for twenty minutes, just for
• 19:40
  Speaker 3: twenty minutes to like start getting in the like the
• 19:43
  Speaker 3: muscles to leave because.
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: She is, like she is so in love and so
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: a tune that if not like I don't.
• 19:52
  Speaker 3: I don't know what it would look like, but I
• 19:54
  Speaker 3: haven't had to worry, like I haven't had to stress
• 19:57
  Speaker 3: like everybody like one step ahead all day long.
• 20:00
  Speaker 4: Oh that's so awesome. I love that.
• 20:03
  Speaker 5: I wouldn't expect anything less from her. That is exactly
• 20:06
  Speaker 5: what I pictured. If you guys could give Ben and
• 20:19
  Speaker 5: Jests some advice as to how to get through these
• 20:23
  Speaker 5: first couple of years of parenting as a couple, because
• 20:26
  Speaker 5: this can kind of be a it's not a tumultuous time, but.
• 20:32
  Speaker 4: A time where it's just it's it's just can be
• 20:36
  Speaker 4: rough on a relationship. How was it for you and
• 20:40
  Speaker 4: how what kind of advice can you give to him?
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: Well, first of all, I mean, don't I guess I
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: don't know how to say this. Don't forget who your
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: first covenant of love is with. Yeah, and that that person,
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: even though it sounds harsh, always comes first because it
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: all started with that first promise.
• 21:05
  Speaker 3: And so.
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: Figure out how you can do your date nights. I'll
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: tell you Ben was five months old and Damon and
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: I left on a four day cruise together just to
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: have some time. I mean it was you know, it
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: wasn't hardly four days.
• 21:21
  Speaker 4: Jared and I went to Paradise when Dawson was five
• 21:25
  Speaker 4: months old.
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, there you go and don't shame yourself for that.
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: Don't feel bad about.
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: That, find your healthy place to let your child spend
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: with your parents or whoever it might be. Let it
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: go and go be with the person that helped you
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: make that baby, and celebrate yourselves.
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: I don't know, what do you. And we've done that
• 21:48
  Speaker 2: our whole life. I mean, David and I have ritually.
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: Even forty two years later, still date regularly.
• 21:55
  Speaker 7: So, yeah, you know, our situation was such it took
• 21:59
  Speaker 7: us many years seven yeah, many years, and and a
• 22:04
  Speaker 7: lot of effort just to be able to have one
• 22:06
  Speaker 7: child in the midst of yeah, in the midst of
• 22:10
  Speaker 7: a lot of other stuff that happened in our life.
• 22:12
  Speaker 7: But you know, it is such a godsend. It is
• 22:15
  Speaker 7: such a blessing to be able to have a child
• 22:18
  Speaker 7: and really that partnership.
• 22:20
  Speaker 6: To be able. I mean, you know, you dream about
• 22:22
  Speaker 6: it and then when it finally.
• 22:24
  Speaker 7: Happens, there's just natural thing that happens, and I don't know,
• 22:31
  Speaker 7: I sit back and I will it's been a blessing
• 22:34
  Speaker 7: for three weeks to watch Ben and Jess because when
• 22:39
  Speaker 7: Ben can read Jess, you can tell if just is
• 22:43
  Speaker 7: the point where I need a little bit of help.
• 22:46
  Speaker 6: Ben's there. If it's the other way around, Ess is
• 22:50
  Speaker 6: there for Ben. And it's been fun to watch that.
• 22:53
  Speaker 6: It really has been.
• 22:54
  Speaker 7: And it takes me back to the days when we
• 22:56
  Speaker 7: were together as a partner with a little kid raising
• 23:00
  Speaker 7: a Yeah we're still there forty two years so, but
• 23:04
  Speaker 7: it's been fun to watch.
• 23:06
  Speaker 6: It really has been.
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: I think, Ashley, I always knew.
• 23:12
  Speaker 3: I don't know how to say this, Oh, I do
• 23:14
  Speaker 3: have to say, like I was always their child and
• 23:17
  Speaker 3: I always felt loved, But I always knew their relationship
• 23:20
  Speaker 3: to each other was different than their relationship to me
• 23:22
  Speaker 3: growing up, Like it was never a question to me
• 23:26
  Speaker 3: on how they saw each other or what did come first,
• 23:30
  Speaker 3: Not that I felt like I came second, but that their.
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: Relationship was, you know, a priority.
• 23:37
  Speaker 3: And also I think as a child, and I know
• 23:39
  Speaker 3: you felt this way, Ashually, I think seeing your parents
• 23:42
  Speaker 3: still date is such a cool thing. Like it probably
• 23:45
  Speaker 3: you know you might cry because they leave you and
• 23:47
  Speaker 3: you're sad.
• 23:48
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I hated it, but like I know what you're
• 23:50
  Speaker 4: talking about.
• 23:51
  Speaker 3: Like you look back on it now as a married person,
• 23:54
  Speaker 3: you're looking at it going that was a beauty, Like
• 23:56
  Speaker 3: that's a beautiful lesson that I was like taught was
• 23:59
  Speaker 3: that they still need their time together.
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: And then I wasn't always involved in that.
• 24:04
  Speaker 4: Do you know it's hilarious when Jar did I hug kiss,
• 24:09
  Speaker 4: Dawson goes.
• 24:15
  Speaker 5: And it's kind of nice to see that reinforcement that,
• 24:18
  Speaker 5: like he's three, but he still appreciates the sweetness.
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: That's so good.
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: And then a lot of times we would do that
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: and then after David I'd had our moment of kissed
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: or whatever, when you come up, then we go family hug.
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, so would get their little sugar.
• 24:40
  Speaker 4: That you should keep that up too. We need to
• 24:43
  Speaker 4: do that more with Lois. Okay, my my, I want
• 24:47
  Speaker 4: to I want to throw it over to you.
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: Ben.
• 24:50
  Speaker 5: You can ask your parents in the next couple of
• 24:53
  Speaker 5: minutes as we wrap up, questions that you think that
• 24:57
  Speaker 5: that you have for them that should be broadcast everyone.
• 25:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I think you asked all the I
• 25:02
  Speaker 3: mean I really was interested in the like keeping your
• 25:06
  Speaker 3: relationship a priority. I think they have great lessons to
• 25:10
  Speaker 3: teach everyone on that because they've done it and they've
• 25:12
  Speaker 3: been married for forty two years, and so that was
• 25:14
  Speaker 3: really where I wanted to go with it. I think
• 25:16
  Speaker 3: there's two things that I want to ask really one
• 25:19
  Speaker 3: question and the one thing I want to stall to
• 25:20
  Speaker 3: talk about. The question is when you set a child
• 25:24
  Speaker 3: up with a firm foundation for the future. So like,
• 25:27
  Speaker 3: when he's three weeks old, she doesn't really understand life
• 25:30
  Speaker 3: at all, but she will. Dawson's three, he's starting to
• 25:34
  Speaker 3: understand life. What like when you looked at how this
• 25:37
  Speaker 3: child was being molded, taught, what they were listening to
• 25:41
  Speaker 3: from the outside world that they would accept or what
• 25:43
  Speaker 3: they would push away, Like, how did you guys navigate
• 25:45
  Speaker 3: those conversations on what how you should build up a
• 25:50
  Speaker 3: child with that foundation?
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: Well, I think for me, no matter what you want
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: to call it, whether it be a faith or moral
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: standards or or whatever, that as we were teaching been
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: things that we felt formed firm foundations for life that
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: we weren't just teaching him. That we weren't just taking
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: him to Sunday school and then coming home and doing
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: our thing. That had to be modeled. So whatever it
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: is that you're choosing to use to build a foundation,
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: a firm foundation with your child, for your child for
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: the future, it needs to be modeled.
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: So for me, that was important. It didn't always look pretty.
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: There was failures in that, but there was also in
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: the midst of the failures there was a lot of
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: honesty we learned.
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: I learned early on.
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: I know David did too. I have typed out proof
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: of it that sometimes you have to say you're sorry.
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: Even as a parent, you have to say you're sorry
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: to your child when you know you screwed up, or
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: when things just didn't work out whatever. So for me,
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: it was just modeling what I felt was important to
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: build a foundation.
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: For my child.
• 27:10
  Speaker 7: So I will agree with all that, and I think
• 27:13
  Speaker 7: at the same time to be able to be everybody
• 27:17
  Speaker 7: best friends, because you know, you sit back and you
• 27:21
  Speaker 7: think about the times I remember taking Ben to a
• 27:25
  Speaker 7: golf course with little golf clothes about this long, and
• 27:29
  Speaker 7: all of a sudden, I see my son down the
• 27:31
  Speaker 7: sand trap hitting a beautiful shot on the ninth hole,
• 27:35
  Speaker 7: and everybody out of clubhouse comes out and starts clapping,
• 27:38
  Speaker 7: and from a.
• 27:39
  Speaker 6: Other standpoint, I just beamed. But you know, you create
• 27:45
  Speaker 6: a lot.
• 27:45
  Speaker 7: Of special moments as you're young that transfer throughout the lifetime.
• 27:50
  Speaker 7: And you know, just Sunday, Ben and I walk the
• 27:52
  Speaker 7: golf course together and you know, you just sit back
• 27:55
  Speaker 7: and you think about how you're planning all those seeds
• 27:59
  Speaker 7: and how it takes off and it finally grows into
• 28:02
  Speaker 7: something so magical later.
• 28:03
  Speaker 2: On down the road.
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and just to play off of that, I do
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: feel like David and I were very intentional. I'm sure
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: Ben can validate this on building a village around our son.
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: We had a really strong community of people, whether that
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: be our neighbors that we became friends with, whether it
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: would be you know, church, family coaching. Just we made
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: sure that there were a lot of people in Ben's
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: lives that could fill a gap where we were not
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: necessarily gifted in certain things like strong discipline or yeah,
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: you know, just anything. And so I really feel like
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: we were very intentional about building a village around our family.
• 28:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 28:47
  Speaker 3: I never I never grew up as an only child
• 28:49
  Speaker 3: ever feeling like we didn't have people around us. And
• 28:56
  Speaker 3: I also say, you know, it's something like our family
• 29:00
  Speaker 3: was built on a firm foundation of faith, and so
• 29:04
  Speaker 3: everything spurred from that. And so you know, every relationship,
• 29:08
  Speaker 3: every activity, every way we'd like process a difficulty, an illness,
• 29:14
  Speaker 3: whatever that bay be, it was always coming from that place.
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: And so for us.
• 29:18
  Speaker 3: I think the answer that I would have to say,
• 29:20
  Speaker 3: like the foundation was built on faith in Jesus, and
• 29:24
  Speaker 3: then when it comes to life, I think the community
• 29:28
  Speaker 3: that was gathered around, you know, pushed us all and
• 29:33
  Speaker 3: in some type of direction, you know, and we never
• 29:36
  Speaker 3: felt alone in that, you know, in that pursuit and
• 29:40
  Speaker 3: so and even today those relationships still exist. So I
• 29:45
  Speaker 3: think that was always very clear to me and always
• 29:48
  Speaker 3: give me the backing. The final thing Ashley, I want
• 29:51
  Speaker 3: to talk about today is something that Jessica and I
• 29:53
  Speaker 3: did that I think every child that is having a
• 30:00
  Speaker 3: child should give to their grandparents. Okay, you ready for this?
• 30:04
  Speaker 4: Uh huh.
• 30:05
  Speaker 3: We bought them grandparent books both sides, So Jay and
• 30:08
  Speaker 3: Jill and my parents, and these grandparent books ask questions
• 30:12
  Speaker 3: about their upbringings, about the families, their friendships growing up,
• 30:17
  Speaker 3: what they're into.
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: What they want into.
• 30:19
  Speaker 5: And it's about your parents, about the parents or about
• 30:23
  Speaker 5: like the baby itself.
• 30:24
  Speaker 2: No, about your parents.
• 30:26
  Speaker 4: Oh okay.
• 30:26
  Speaker 3: So it's a book that my parents write in and
• 30:29
  Speaker 3: respond to with their childhood, with their interests, and then
• 30:34
  Speaker 3: hopefully you know, once they get done with it, it's
• 30:37
  Speaker 3: called it's called grandmother. I want to hear your story.
• 30:40
  Speaker 3: So it's my mom's story. Then my dad has one
• 30:42
  Speaker 3: that says, Grandpa, I want to hear your story.
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: It's got very big, easy questions.
• 30:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and they will be able to look back and
• 30:51
  Speaker 3: read her grandparents' story, you know, when she's fifty, sixty, thirty,
• 30:57
  Speaker 3: forty years old. Yeah, when she's thirteen, in understand her
• 31:02
  Speaker 3: grandparents better. And so I think that's a really cool gift.
• 31:06
  Speaker 3: They've appreciated it, and I know Whinny will one day too,
• 31:09
  Speaker 3: because I wish I would have.
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: Had it for mine.
• 31:10
  Speaker 4: Oh won No, I gotta give this to our our
• 31:14
  Speaker 4: sets of grandparents.
• 31:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, sure with it.
• 31:16
  Speaker 3: So, hey, I know we're short on time. It's been
• 31:18
  Speaker 3: an awesome episode. Thank you for joining us today.
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: Thank you appreciate.
• 31:22
  Speaker 4: Thank you guys so much.
• 31:24
  Speaker 5: Have the best next couple of days before you leave.
• 31:26
  Speaker 5: You're gonna have separation anxiety.
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: I know you didn't even ask that question.
• 31:31
  Speaker 4: You Oh, I know you guys are gonna be flying
• 31:34
  Speaker 4: in every other week.
• 31:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's gonna be awesome. Ashley, you're the best. Thanks
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: for doing this. Good to see Ashley.
• 31:39
  Speaker 4: Thank you so good to see you. Bye bye, follow
• 31:43
  Speaker 4: the Ben and Ashley.
• 31:44
  Speaker 3: I Almost Famous podcast on iHeartRadio, or subscribe wherever you
• 31:48
  Speaker 3: listen to podcasts.