Latest / Crafted Connections / EP 62: Sitting with the Lemons with Te'Jal Cartwright

Transcript

EP 62: Sitting with the Lemons with Te'Jal Cartwright · Crafted Connections

0:04
SPEAKER_00: Hello and welcome to Crafted Connections.
0:07
SPEAKER_00: I'm so grateful that you're here this week.
0:10
SPEAKER_00: We are in it, folks.
0:11
SPEAKER_00: We are doing the dang thing.
0:13
SPEAKER_00: May is in full swing, and I'm so, so grateful that you hit play today.
0:17
SPEAKER_00: This is Crafted Connections, where we talk to the people about their stories.
0:23
SPEAKER_00: And don't I have a special one today?
0:26
SPEAKER_00: It is Tajil Cartwright.
0:29
SPEAKER_00: She herself is a storyteller, so you're gonna really enjoy this episode.
0:33
SPEAKER_00: But just to kind of give you a little bit of context of the pod itself, I interview people in my network.
0:40
SPEAKER_00: I collect their stories, I share their stories, we we dig into it, we get background, and we kind of like practice the art of sharing who you are.
0:49
SPEAKER_00: And I also like to have solo episodes where I talk about what that all looks like.
0:55
SPEAKER_00: I share myself, I share ways to collect and compile your story.
0:59
SPEAKER_00: Last week I was talking all about like really practicing deeper connection, making it more of a two-way street.
1:07
SPEAKER_00: And what a person to follow that episode.
1:10
SPEAKER_00: Tajil, oh, what a treasure, treasure, treasure.
1:14
SPEAKER_00: I think that's probably what the T in Tejil stands for, treasure.
1:17
SPEAKER_00: I met Tajil in an improv class of let's see, spring 2025.
1:24
SPEAKER_00: Can you believe it?
1:24
SPEAKER_00: It's been a whole flipping year.
1:26
SPEAKER_00: Spring 2025, Tajil and I took improv together.
1:30
SPEAKER_00: I just, she's like obviously so funny.
1:32
SPEAKER_00: I just don't, I don't think there's anyone in improv class that like isn't hilarious.
1:36
SPEAKER_00: She's funny.
1:38
SPEAKER_00: But what I love the most about Tajil is like her deep, deep, deep commitment to her community.
1:45
SPEAKER_00: The class I took was in Dayton, Ohio, and I've never met a bigger fan of Dayton, and that's saying a lot because I've met a lot of Dayton people, and Dayton is really great.
1:53
SPEAKER_00: The way that she gives to her community is freaking amazing.
1:57
SPEAKER_00: And I want to call something out.
1:58
SPEAKER_00: We do talk about this very, very briefly, but it I think it's so important.
2:02
SPEAKER_00: The reason that I bring people like Tajil on, and the reason that I like bring folks from my network and not just like try and like get people that everybody already knows.
2:13
SPEAKER_00: A lot of people know Tajil and Dayton.
2:15
SPEAKER_00: She's got a network, right?
2:17
SPEAKER_00: And also my people from Indianapolis, my family members from all over the country.
2:22
SPEAKER_00: Like, they don't know Tajil and they need to know her because she's a great example of how it does not take much to impact your community.
2:31
SPEAKER_00: She makes a huge impact on our community.
2:34
SPEAKER_00: I don't want to take away from that.
2:35
SPEAKER_00: And also, I think she's a great person to convince folks that, like, yes, she is inspiring.
2:42
SPEAKER_00: Yes, she shows the F up.
2:44
SPEAKER_00: And also, you can too.
2:47
SPEAKER_00: You can too, and that's really important because we gotta show up for each other one-on-one, in person, doing the dang thing, and and holding space for each other, holding space for ourselves.
2:57
SPEAKER_00: I cannot wait to share our conversation with you.
3:00
SPEAKER_00: So let's just dig into it.
3:01
SPEAKER_00: Thank you for being here.
3:03
SPEAKER_00: I am ever so grateful that you hit play, and with that, enjoy my dear friend Tajil's story.
3:13
SPEAKER_00: Hey guys.
3:14
SPEAKER_00: Hey, Tajil is on the podcast today.
3:17
SPEAKER_00: She is a dear friend.
3:19
SPEAKER_00: We met a year ago, exactly actually, because we both took improv level one.
3:27
SPEAKER_00: I was gonna say one-on-one, like school, but that's not what we're doing.
3:30
SPEAKER_00: And I'm so grateful.
3:32
SPEAKER_00: I'm so grateful that uh my family ended up in Dayton for six months last winter.
3:37
SPEAKER_00: I'm missing it like crazy.
3:38
SPEAKER_00: I know I've texted you that time and time again.
3:40
SPEAKER_00: And especially as like we're coming up on a year since like doing improv, like that class was the cutest.
3:46
SPEAKER_00: The friendships that grew from that class were adorable.
3:49
SPEAKER_00: The experience was really cool to like try a new thing and like just be okay with it.
3:56
SPEAKER_00: But also, I think we both love being on a stage.
3:58
SPEAKER_00: So so much.
3:59
SPEAKER_00: Let's share with uh the people a little bit about you, Tejel.
4:03
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I do want to say, I know we'll probably get to it, but I do miss our improv class.
4:08
SPEAKER_02: It was like the best.
4:10
SPEAKER_02: I got so much more than what I expected.
4:12
SPEAKER_02: I was like, okay, I'm gonna take this improv class, and you know, it'll just be me versus the class, you know, like not the people, but the experience.
4:23
SPEAKER_00: Totally.
4:23
SPEAKER_02: Then I got there, and just like the relationships that we built with everyone, and like I mean, the last night I didn't want it to be our last night, so that was like the whole experience.
4:36
SPEAKER_02: And it was so fun, it was so fun.
4:38
SPEAKER_02: So if you guys are listening to this, take an improv class, support your local improv theater.
4:45
SPEAKER_02: It does so much for you, and I can't wait till I have time to take level two.
4:49
SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, yeah.
4:50
SPEAKER_00: To the point where, like, I mean, I I don't think we're ever gonna anything can happen, right?
4:55
SPEAKER_00: But every every once in a while, I'm like, oh my gosh, I wish I was back at that theater.
4:59
SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, black box?
5:00
SPEAKER_00: What's the name of the I should know?
5:02
SPEAKER_00: Black box?
5:03
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
5:03
SPEAKER_00: Black box improv.
5:04
SPEAKER_00: The people there were so great, but also I feel like that's with like local experiences too, local businesses, local like community people, which you are.
5:14
SPEAKER_00: So maybe we we dig into that a little bit with like what you do and how you're how you're around your community and and how you really build it from the inside out.
5:23
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so I'm Tajil, guys.
5:26
SPEAKER_02: I am so many things, but I think the top are I'm a story coach, so I teach people how to share their story, which I absolutely love.
5:37
SPEAKER_02: I am a media personality/slash journalist, an independent freelance journalist.
5:43
SPEAKER_02: I love telling other people's story or just like using news to create conversations and build like our humanity.
5:52
SPEAKER_02: And then, like, I sound like such a hippie, but then also um I'm a mom, I'm a fiance, I'm about to get married in September, and I'm so excited about the process and just the ceremony of love.
6:06
SPEAKER_02: Like, love is just such a beautiful thing.
6:08
SPEAKER_02: So I'm really happy that I can experience it because I know it's rare, okay?
6:13
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it doesn't have to be.
6:15
SPEAKER_02: You guys make it hard.
6:16
SPEAKER_02: No, I'm kidding.
6:17
SPEAKER_02: Let me just stop.
6:18
SPEAKER_00: No, no, let's, I mean, that's part of it too.
6:20
SPEAKER_00: And I actually want to bring this out because I love what you you shared with me uh prior to us hitting record, which is you're an angel, you're a magical person, and I'm all about the spirituality of things.
6:32
SPEAKER_00: I, you know, I not to, you know, bring out, I mean, it's kind of hard even to say, but I I think I'm a witch.
6:39
SPEAKER_00: Like I totally think like the energy of it, the magic of it, right?
6:43
SPEAKER_00: And and in that too, both with what you were saying about making love hard.
6:47
SPEAKER_00: Um, there's something too that you shared that it's like it's just all very energy related, just putting out, putting the good vibes.
6:56
SPEAKER_00: And you know, bad vibes will come, but it's like moving through it and and whatnot.
7:00
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, no, I get exactly what you're saying.
7:02
SPEAKER_02: I think witch is a beautiful term that people have demonized, mostly like men.
7:10
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
7:10
SPEAKER_02: Um, and it is names that they've called people as insults, or I don't know.
7:16
SPEAKER_02: I do feel magical.
7:17
SPEAKER_02: I feel like God, I believe in God.
7:20
SPEAKER_02: I believe in like and I've tried to not believe in God.
7:24
SPEAKER_02: Like when I tried to be atheist, like totally, totally, and I didn't have a term for it.
7:30
SPEAKER_02: I was just so mad.
7:31
SPEAKER_02: I was like, how can babies die?
7:33
SPEAKER_02: How can countries be bombed?
7:35
SPEAKER_02: How can slavery exist and everything after that happened to like my culture of people, and there be a God?
7:42
SPEAKER_02: And so like I was like ignoring like God and just like, but that experience taught me like that there's there's there's God, there's something, and I feel so bad for people who are like, I don't believe in God, and like you can't make me believe in him.
8:01
SPEAKER_02: And I'm just like, I'm not gonna force you to do anything.
8:04
SPEAKER_02: And I say, I was talking to a friend about this, I say him, but I feel like God is just like a being, an essence, and I'm trying to knock him out of my terminology for God, because God is just this being not man, not woman, just like this spirit.
8:22
SPEAKER_02: I feel like and I don't know how to go any deeper.
8:25
SPEAKER_02: Like, I'm still always exploring my Christianity or spirituality, but I say all that to say, God, guys, I'm so sorry if you're rambling.
8:33
SPEAKER_02: I say all that to say, I feel like my magic comes from this being, this magical being.
8:38
SPEAKER_02: Like, people are like, God created us to be basic.
8:41
SPEAKER_02: I'm like, no, God didn't.
8:42
SPEAKER_02: Like, we are magical because like God is magical, and and I feel like that's my life proves it.
8:50
SPEAKER_00: No, and and so yes, double click, uh, you know, uh like copy repeat.
8:56
SPEAKER_00: You know, I I I lean into like the idea of like it's for me, I look at it and I kind of say, I say universe, I say, you know, and and like being able to like alchemize things and like and work with like what's presented is just it's so important to me.
9:12
SPEAKER_00: And and I have gone through those chapters where I'm just like so mad at everything that happened, you know, on micro macro, and to the point where I'm just like the trust that I have with like the way that things are concocted or showing up in my life, uh, hasn't been there.
9:27
SPEAKER_00: And so I feel you on that.
9:29
SPEAKER_00: And I also love, yeah, your approach and your take to it too, because or your experience with it, because it goes back to kind of what you said just now about how the term witch has been demon demonized.
9:41
SPEAKER_00: There's also like a level of like, you know, it's interesting that we chose the male pronouns for that.
9:47
SPEAKER_00: Like, so it's it's interesting that, you know, so it's like, what does it look like?
9:50
SPEAKER_00: There's so much to this, and like we went right into religion, didn't we?
9:54
SPEAKER_00: I love that for her, but we can't help it.
9:57
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I think religion is just a really sexy topic.
10:03
SPEAKER_02: Like, it is it's hot, it's hard to use for it, but like there's so much to discover and unpick and unpack, and like yeah, even the beginning of it, even the way religion was used to, you know, promote slave library or other things promote like the mistreatment of women, or like it's just a strange thing.
10:26
SPEAKER_02: And so I can understand why a lot of people just have a really bad taste for it.
10:31
SPEAKER_02: I think that men have made it into this thing, they've turned it into a disaster of like just rules and confinement and muggle shit.
10:43
SPEAKER_02: It's like what this ain't it.
10:47
SPEAKER_02: This is where your imagination is going.
10:49
SPEAKER_02: Like, grab a crystal and like move on.
10:52
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
10:53
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you are an alchemizer, you live on a fucking boat.
10:56
SPEAKER_00: Like, I do, I do.
10:57
SPEAKER_00: The people know.
10:58
SPEAKER_00: I'm I'm um, oh, I'm excited to, you know, we're about to dig back into that chapter in a really real way.
11:04
SPEAKER_00: And so I'm super excited.
11:06
SPEAKER_00: Oh my goodness, where do I even go with you?
11:08
SPEAKER_00: You're amazing.
11:10
SPEAKER_00: I'm I really am obsessed with you, and now I'm more obsessed with you.
11:13
SPEAKER_00: But yes, but like it's like it is, it's alchemizing, it's things, things being being weaponized in a way that like takes power over people in in a way that's absolutely not fair.
11:27
SPEAKER_00: And and I love what you were talking about with people saying to you, you can't make me, you know, believe this, believe that.
11:34
SPEAKER_00: And you're like, that's not what I'm here to do.
11:37
SPEAKER_00: I'm literally here to have my own relationship with this and and build out, you know, what what I'm meant to do in the world, what like the magic that I've been sent to perform, if you will, or perform is not the word I want to use, but the the magic that I am here to carry out.
11:53
SPEAKER_00: And there's a reason.
11:55
SPEAKER_00: I in my hardest times in life, there were like I would get up in the morning and I'd be like, what what is going on?
12:04
SPEAKER_00: Like I wasn't necessarily like getting up and being like, I wish I weren't alive, but like I was very like just down in the morning, you know?
12:11
SPEAKER_00: And then I heard somebody say on a podcast about if I woke up, God's not done.
12:16
SPEAKER_00: And I love that.
12:18
SPEAKER_00: No matter like the the like if you're still here, there's a perfect like there's something you gotta do.
12:22
SPEAKER_00: And what does that look like?
12:24
SPEAKER_00: And it's it's definitely a hard thing to explore and and do, but like if you don't go through that stuff, then you don't know how to how to move through it.
12:31
SPEAKER_00: Um, a quote that you shared in your intake form was feel your feelings, but don't give up.
12:36
SPEAKER_00: And that things like that have been coming out in my journal a lot these days, so I appreciate you.
12:42
SPEAKER_02: Yes, I used to not feel feelings for real.
12:45
SPEAKER_02: I used to kind of like um romanticize every single thing.
12:50
SPEAKER_02: Like I found out I was adopted when I was 19.
12:53
SPEAKER_02: I feel like I told you that, and I cried for like two minutes, and then I was like, Well, at least I was adopted, like you know, I could have been aborted, and like that, and I like moved on, but that was like I would say for the next five years, I didn't address anything that I truly felt because I never got to think about it, I never got to navigate it.
13:20
SPEAKER_02: I made myself snap out of it and I kind of move forward, but then when I had my son, it all bubbled up for me, and I just realized all the problems I had with finding out that I was adopted at 19, the relationship that I have with my parents.
13:35
SPEAKER_02: I don't know who my biological father is, so like the frustration that I feel around that and kind of like the aunt, the the you know, I love my biological mom, so I don't have anything to to say about her, but yeah, there's guilt there too.
13:51
SPEAKER_02: Like, I don't want to be upset about knowing not knowing about who my biological father is because then I don't want to have to face, you know, why I don't know who my biological father is, you know.
14:01
SPEAKER_02: And so I don't know.
14:02
SPEAKER_02: Once I like oh, Pandora's box, that's what we're gonna call that time period.
14:08
SPEAKER_02: It's busting open of feelings and frustration and anger and all these things that my optimism hid and buried.
14:20
SPEAKER_02: Um, so now I am very like feel my feelings, like I'm mad, I wanna cry, I wanna do this.
14:26
SPEAKER_02: And I have to be very intentional about it too, because uh it's just a natural part of me to turn lemons into lemonades.
14:33
SPEAKER_02: But I have like, okay, girl, just sit with the lemons first, you know, count them, smell them, you know, peel them, make sure some you toss the ones that aren't bad before you put them into the lemon, you know, sitting with your lemons before you go and make the lemonade for real.
14:49
SPEAKER_00: I'm obsessed with that metaphor and journey.
14:52
SPEAKER_00: That's um wonderful.
14:54
SPEAKER_00: She she took it.
14:56
SPEAKER_00: It's you know, people say it all the time, but you're like, yeah, but don't don't rush the lemonade making process for sure.
15:02
SPEAKER_00: For sure.
15:02
SPEAKER_02: You it's good to have great friends around you.
15:05
SPEAKER_02: I will credit that my thought process to even starting to think about stuff like that was in 2020.
15:11
SPEAKER_02: And my a friend, a former friend, Kwanita.
15:15
SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna shout her out.
15:16
SPEAKER_02: Chakra Kwan really forced me to like think about my feelings and process them.
15:21
SPEAKER_00: No, absolutely.
15:22
SPEAKER_00: And right before we hit record too, I wanna bring this back.
15:26
SPEAKER_00: We were kind of talking about how life events kind of make you face things that maybe you like you maybe ignored in the past or still need to process, or it's like time to and and just kind of with you being like a thing happened, I cried for two seconds, and then I moved on with my life.
15:44
SPEAKER_00: Air quotes, right?
15:45
SPEAKER_00: Because did you really?
15:46
SPEAKER_00: And then you know, your own journey as in becoming a mother was like, guess what?
15:51
SPEAKER_00: You gotta look at this now, my friend.
15:53
SPEAKER_00: And you're like, oof, ouch, let's go, let's go.
15:57
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it was crazy.
15:59
SPEAKER_00: It is, it's crazy.
16:00
SPEAKER_00: And I and I feel like even at the beginning of the conversation, I was the way I was describing the like good vibes, bad vibes, blah, blah, blah.
16:07
SPEAKER_00: Like, no, like we're not talking like toxic positivity, right?
16:12
SPEAKER_00: We're not talking, you know, overshadowing, shoving your feelings down and just pretending to be good or to pretending that everything's good, but like the real work of moving through hard stuff and finding.
16:27
SPEAKER_00: I just I love the visual you just mapped out, which is why you are the storyteller, which is why, right?
16:32
SPEAKER_00: It's like the actual visual evoked feeling for me.
16:34
SPEAKER_00: Cause who doesn't love a lemon?
16:37
SPEAKER_00: Right?
16:37
SPEAKER_00: Lemons are like one of the they're like, I don't want to meet you, they're the best.
16:42
SPEAKER_00: Lemons, like they're so delicious, they they make anything better.
16:46
SPEAKER_00: You hold them, you smell them, you clean your house.
16:50
SPEAKER_00: Like, what a what a magical fruit.
16:52
SPEAKER_00: Talking two magical ladies, they heal your insides, you know, it's just a beautiful thing.
17:00
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
17:01
SPEAKER_00: And even like, even the they're magical too, in the sense of like technically, like when you have like a sore throat, acidity is not technically good for you, but a lemon is like there's something about lemons where it's like chemically they still work to like put it in your tea, or wow, like what what no wonder we love that fruit.
17:21
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so my son's grandma on his dad's side, like she's Jamaican, and during COVID, she gave me a recipe for a medicine, but the medicine came from Jamaica, and basically in Jamaica, and parts of Jamaica, the vaccine wasn't available to them.
17:41
SPEAKER_02: Like, yeah, so they made this concoction to kind of heal each other through COVID and all of this other stuff.
17:49
SPEAKER_02: And yeah, one of the ingredients is lemon, and it's like it is a healing thing, it really is.
17:56
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I love, love, love it.
18:01
SPEAKER_00: Hey y'all, you know I love telling stories, gathering stories, and finding a way to help people connect their story with the people that will get it, and that's what my story strategy sessions are all about.
18:13
SPEAKER_00: So over at Calhoun Creative Consulting, my strategic storytelling firm, we do one-on-one and or facilitated workshops in relation to really honing in the strategy around your story.
18:25
SPEAKER_00: It's a bit of messaging meets content creation, meets storytelling, and then how do we put that out in the world?
18:31
SPEAKER_00: How do we show up regularly?
18:32
SPEAKER_00: There's a bit of mindset work around it, right?
18:34
SPEAKER_00: To actually tell your story.
18:35
SPEAKER_00: Whether you're launching something new or trying to rework your brand or just feeling a little foggy on how to communicate with your people, this is how to get clear.
18:42
SPEAKER_00: We'll dig into things like your narrative, how to uncover what matters most, maybe map out a few content pillars while we're at it.
18:48
SPEAKER_00: You'll also get a recording of our session so you can revisit the conversation anytime you like.
18:53
SPEAKER_00: Let's shape a story that actually feels like you.
18:55
SPEAKER_00: So book yours today.
18:56
SPEAKER_00: There is a link in the show notes.
18:58
SPEAKER_00: And hey, while you're at it, use the code podcast, all caps, P-O-D-C-A-S-T for 25% off your session.
19:06
SPEAKER_00: I would be honored to spend time with you and suss out your story.
19:10
SPEAKER_00: Let's dive back into the episode, shall we?
19:14
SPEAKER_00: With that, to go back to how beautifully you presented this visual that we love and we move forward with.
19:22
SPEAKER_00: You also help other people tell their story.
19:25
SPEAKER_00: And I think there's something really cool about that.
19:27
SPEAKER_00: Not only are you an amazing storyteller, but what is it like to take people who just like we experienced in improv, we show up, we're these little baby, I'm interested in improv humans.
19:39
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
19:39
SPEAKER_00: And and, you know, we're just clonking around.
19:42
SPEAKER_00: And then, you know, by the end of our course, the end of our time together, we really did have some dynamics that were so fun and and confidence grew in all of us in in whatever way it needed to.
19:55
SPEAKER_00: And you do that with people in group settings.
19:57
SPEAKER_00: And and like some people, you know, join because well, actually, feel free to kind of like what are what's your like what are the humans like?
20:05
SPEAKER_00: What is their what's day one like for when you're working with people?
20:08
SPEAKER_00: Like, what's that experience?
20:10
SPEAKER_02: So, okay, really quickly, I want to share how I became a story coach.
20:15
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, what's the background of that?
20:16
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so because that'll I feel like that'll answer your question.
20:20
SPEAKER_02: You know, I grew up in a household where it was like, what happens in this house stays in his house.
20:26
SPEAKER_02: And I'm not, I know a lot of us have experienced it that rule.
20:30
SPEAKER_02: And so what it did for me was it taught me to kind of keep everything in because nobody wanted to talk about what was happening in the house.
20:39
SPEAKER_02: Like, so then I grew older and just, you know, was kind of hindered in the communication space.
20:47
SPEAKER_02: And so I had a digital marketing business.
20:50
SPEAKER_02: I found this storytelling business that one needed someone to manage their social media, and so I just took a storytelling class so that I could learn how to market the class.
21:02
SPEAKER_02: Like, I was just like, okay, I'm doing this social media for a storytelling business.
21:07
SPEAKER_02: This is super creative, like all my clients were just really unique, and so I just I love the fact that I'm doing marketing for a storytelling company, and I took the class and it changed my life.
21:21
SPEAKER_02: Like it gave me the tools to share things that I held down for so long, you know, whether it be a funny story, a sad story, a story about adventure.
21:35
SPEAKER_02: It was just stories that I wanted to tell, and there were people that wanted to listen, and it was like I wanted to hear other people's stories.
21:43
SPEAKER_02: Like I was the friend that would go out with friends and get drunk and then go leave the friend group to go talk to strangers in the street.
21:51
SPEAKER_02: Like, I can hear so many stories from people, people who have lost their daughters.
21:57
SPEAKER_02: I like I met a man who lived.
22:00
SPEAKER_02: In Dayton, he was from Detroit.
22:02
SPEAKER_02: He just missed his daughter.
22:04
SPEAKER_02: She died 20 years before, like, I had that conversation with him.
22:07
SPEAKER_02: But you know, he was houseless.
22:10
SPEAKER_02: And and like, I don't know, I feel like not that that matters or anything, but you know what I'm saying?
22:15
SPEAKER_02: Like, it's just like the opportunity to talk to everybody, like, everybody to talk to me, and just like to us, for us to remove this veil of like stranger danger.
22:30
SPEAKER_02: Like, yes, strangers are sometimes dangerous, and you know, thank God I've never been kidnapped yet.
22:35
SPEAKER_02: But like, it's like it's removing this fear too.
22:41
SPEAKER_02: So I took the class, it changed my life, and I was like, man, that was great.
22:46
SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna tell more stories.
22:47
SPEAKER_02: And then the owner of Lore, Bridget, asked me if I wanted to be a story coach.
22:52
SPEAKER_02: She was like, You're so good at this, you're such an article.
22:55
SPEAKER_02: You know, do you want to be a story coach?
22:56
SPEAKER_02: I was like, Yeah.
22:57
SPEAKER_02: So I became a story.
22:58
SPEAKER_02: Let's go.
22:59
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
23:00
SPEAKER_02: And so then maybe two years ago, Bridget, the owner of Lore, the company, the story coaching company, was just like, I don't want this business anymore.
23:10
SPEAKER_02: I don't want to be the owner.
23:12
SPEAKER_02: Do you want to take it over?
23:13
SPEAKER_02: And long story short, I ended up taking over.
23:17
SPEAKER_02: And I think I just always want to give people the gift that storytelling gave me was the opportunity to get all of it out in whatever way and be creative.
23:29
SPEAKER_02: Um, because I don't know how to play any instruments.
23:33
SPEAKER_02: Like, I I didn't know, I didn't feel confident in my poetry, I couldn't make a song.
23:39
SPEAKER_02: And I think storytelling in this verbal, direct way, just pick a story, we teach you how to tell it, opens up people's creativity in other areas.
23:49
SPEAKER_02: Like, since telling stories and becoming a story coach, I've written a play, like I've written music.
23:55
SPEAKER_02: I'm working on a mixtape right now with one of my great friends.
23:59
SPEAKER_02: I've gone on to speak, my journalism has gotten so much better.
24:07
SPEAKER_02: Like formats, I I'm just so creative, and so I just want to be a part of supporting people in their creativity.
24:16
SPEAKER_02: Lore is the start, I would say.
24:18
SPEAKER_02: Not the start, lore just really either starts you, you know, with your storytelling or re-energizes you.
24:27
SPEAKER_02: Like this story is also for advanced storytellers, too.
24:30
SPEAKER_02: It's like an opportunity to relearn and have the experience of telling your story in front of an audience at the end of our classes.
24:39
SPEAKER_02: Our storytellers can tell the their stories in front of their family, friends, and family.
24:43
SPEAKER_02: So, yeah, that was a lot, but that's the journey.
24:46
SPEAKER_02: The people that take the classes are all types, all walks.
24:50
SPEAKER_00: Like, yeah, it really is.
24:53
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean, I've I've seen like the kind of on your social media, like these little cohorts, and I've attended one of your events, like where they actually present their story.
25:00
SPEAKER_00: It really is like anyone you can think of is involved, and that also goes back to the amazingness that is you running around town talking to everyone who is willing to make eye contact, kind of thing, and I love.
25:12
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, the people that take the class, they're pretty cool, like they come from all walks.
25:17
SPEAKER_02: One woman took the class, you know, a couple months after her husband passed away and just talked about their last year together.
25:25
SPEAKER_02: Um, one man took his class and talked about an event camping adventure he went on with his friends.
25:32
SPEAKER_02: People have different experiences, and that's what I love about it.
25:35
SPEAKER_02: Like, everyone comes from all journeys and is a very beautiful sight to see.
25:42
SPEAKER_02: Oh, absolutely.
25:43
SPEAKER_00: And it like it can be it can be like processing grief, like you gave with the one example, and it can also be celebrating, like celebrating joy, all those different dynamics.
25:55
SPEAKER_00: I love it.
25:56
SPEAKER_02: I'm working on creating like another experience, like maybe like have quarterly sessions where we kind of heal through some of the stories that we share because we do get a couple of like grief stories, and I want to always protect people's energy and like make sure we follow up with love and care instead of just like shh, you know, extracting this storytelling experience and saying, bye, too-loo, thanks for you know.
26:25
SPEAKER_02: I want to kind of like follow up and create these healing or community circle experiences to kind of really close out your experience with lore.
26:34
SPEAKER_02: So I'm working on that.
26:35
SPEAKER_00: No, I love that.
26:36
SPEAKER_00: And I also, yeah, because it's you know, being like, hey, come share your story, and then someone goes really raw with it, and then it's like, okay, bye, good luck taking on the world, being a raw person.
26:46
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's a lot of responsibility to like hold that space for people.
26:50
SPEAKER_00: And I I know you do it so gracefully.
26:54
SPEAKER_00: Can we go back to your experience and that defining moment of of finding out you were adopted?
26:59
SPEAKER_00: You know, you said you shared just now about like okay, feel the feelings for like no time and then move on, but but what like what else did that look like for like for your life and like as far as like it just kind of shaping who you are today?
27:21
SPEAKER_02: I think finding out I was adopted really it answered a lot of questions for me.
27:30
SPEAKER_02: Like I've always felt very lonely, like I've always felt different and isolated, and you know, for me, finding out I was adopted answered that.
27:45
SPEAKER_02: Like, you you know, I used to always have nightmares of me being kidnapped, like I would have them until I I had consistent nightmares and until I was like maybe 10.
27:59
SPEAKER_02: And I just I looking back later, I'm like, that was me knowing, you know, that you know, something was different.
28:07
SPEAKER_02: But so I always felt isolated, and that really I never wanted people to feel that way, so I kind of like transformed that isolation and that feeling of loneliness into a need to build community, and I didn't realize I needed to build that community for myself.
28:26
SPEAKER_02: I just knew I didn't want people to feel isolated or alone, yeah, and if they felt that way, they wouldn't feel that for me.
28:33
SPEAKER_02: And I wasn't that way into high school, like I was a really mean kid, but as I got older, I like really stopped allowing my hurt to you know make other people hurt, and so yeah, it just created this need for community, and now like I do these storytelling sessions that build community, and everything that I do is centered around community.
28:55
SPEAKER_02: Community is first for me.
28:57
SPEAKER_02: I don't always get it right, but you can best believe like I'm not putting money before you, or you know, I'm not I'm boycotting whoever we boycotting, you know.
29:09
SPEAKER_00: You're like, I'm on the team, let's go.
29:11
SPEAKER_02: Let's go, whatever you say, do I'm doing because I believe everybody has a mission.
29:17
SPEAKER_02: People are like, voting doesn't matter, my vote doesn't matter, and I can understand that.
29:21
SPEAKER_02: And I feel like voting freaking sucks, but like I have friends that are politicians that are like, I really believe that voting matters, and I'm like, okay, I don't, but I'm gonna vote because this is your mission, and I believe we all have our different roles, and however I can help you.
29:38
SPEAKER_02: So I say all that to say adoption really planted the seed in me to just yeah, create community because if it wasn't for my community, I don't know where I would be if I was 12.
29:52
SPEAKER_02: And my mom, she literally packed up the house for a couple weeks.
29:58
SPEAKER_02: She was packing up the house, and I thought we were all moving, and it was very traumatic.
30:04
SPEAKER_02: And I thought we were all moving a Saturday morning.
30:07
SPEAKER_02: She comes downstairs, she calls me to come downstairs.
30:10
SPEAKER_02: I come downstairs and she gives me a hug, she cries, and then she leaves.
30:16
SPEAKER_02: And I'm just like, what?
30:18
SPEAKER_02: Like, did my mom just fucking leave?
30:21
SPEAKER_02: And so I'm 12?
30:24
SPEAKER_02: Yes, by myself in this huge ass house.
30:28
SPEAKER_02: My parents were very, they were like high middle class.
30:32
SPEAKER_02: So just picture this little girl like in this big ass house by herself.
30:35
SPEAKER_02: And you were an only child?
30:37
SPEAKER_02: Well, sort of.
30:38
SPEAKER_02: My brother, he's seven years older than me, so he'll be out somewhere.
30:42
SPEAKER_02: But yeah, yeah, I grew up as I feel like I grew up as an only child.
30:46
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, no, it it's a dynamic, yeah.
30:48
SPEAKER_00: Right being a being a younger, like when there's a huge age gap, when you're the younger one, it's kind of only child energy still.
30:54
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
30:56
SPEAKER_02: So yeah, it was very traumatic.
30:58
SPEAKER_02: I don't know why I was talking about that.
31:00
SPEAKER_02: Well, but wait, wait, I'm confused.
31:01
SPEAKER_02: Like, should we she so do you are you comfortable sharing why she left?
31:06
SPEAKER_02: Like what what?
31:07
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so I love this, and I thank you for asking because I always try to skate over that.
31:13
SPEAKER_00: Because it is, but it is like the story though, you're telling it, frankly, when you just told it, that's from the 12-year-old's perspective.
31:20
SPEAKER_00: Because you didn't fucking know.
31:22
SPEAKER_00: You're like, you're like, you're like, okay, why are we packing?
31:25
SPEAKER_00: Oh, you're packing.
31:27
SPEAKER_00: I'm not packing, like we're not, we aren't packing.
31:29
SPEAKER_00: That's and as a 12-year-old, right?
31:30
SPEAKER_00: You didn't know.
31:31
SPEAKER_00: So of course, like when you tell the story, you're telling it from your experience.
31:34
SPEAKER_00: But but I'm yeah, but like for backstory for like like her perspective, what was going down?
31:40
SPEAKER_02: You know, my mom and dad, they were together for a long time.
31:44
SPEAKER_02: Like when they got together when she was 16 and him 18.
31:48
SPEAKER_02: I don't really know.
31:50
SPEAKER_02: I've heard, I only heard them argue once, and then a couple weeks later, my mom left.
31:55
SPEAKER_02: You know, to me, my parents it always looked like they were fine.
32:01
SPEAKER_02: And then I just remember the last couple, maybe year before my mom left, things were just really weird.
32:07
SPEAKER_02: Like, yeah, she talked to us, she would be in the house ignoring me.
32:12
SPEAKER_02: We would get into arguments a lot because I was just so mad at like our relationship and how she was showing up.
32:19
SPEAKER_02: She can my mom is very beautiful, she has the softest features, but the sharpest heart.
32:24
SPEAKER_02: Like, she her character, she's she can be sweet, but she can be cold.
32:29
SPEAKER_02: And so when she was in her cold space, she was there.
32:33
SPEAKER_02: So I think that just her and my dad just were having problems.
32:37
SPEAKER_02: Like, you know, there's rumors of infidelity and those kind of things.
32:43
SPEAKER_02: But my mom ended up moving to DC because she got a promotion, and that was that.
32:49
SPEAKER_00: Dang, and so that was when she told you because she's like, Hey, I'm I'm scooting, but you should probably know this information.
32:55
SPEAKER_02: And I feel like before she left, she told me we were all moving, like we had a conversation of like we're moving, and I remember telling my friends I was leaving, I was like, I'm going to DC, or I don't know where, maybe I was saying Atlanta.
33:11
SPEAKER_02: I just knew I was telling them bye.
33:13
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
33:15
SPEAKER_02: Like, here's the news.
33:17
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
33:18
SPEAKER_02: I had a suitcase packed, and so I like that's why it wasn't weird to me that she was packing up the house because I was like, oh, we're moving, like, you know, and um it just turned out to be her, and that's when I found out that it was just her leaving.
33:34
SPEAKER_02: And I'm gonna be very honest, I have never put the whole story together.
33:40
SPEAKER_02: You know, I spent a lot of time talking about the moment she left because that is the part that I am, I guess, more comfortable um going back to.
33:53
SPEAKER_02: I think the whole entire story is very tragic and very painful.
33:58
SPEAKER_02: It's so painful, and I think it's embarrassing too.
34:01
SPEAKER_02: Like, I'm not gonna lie, I think sharing it is embarrassing for my parents because like it's the truth, and like I know if they hear it, they'll be like, they'll just it's I just think of myself as a parent.
34:16
SPEAKER_02: If my son was like, my mom left when I was 12, she told me we were moving, I would be like, shh, don't, yeah.
34:24
SPEAKER_00: It goes back to what you said, right?
34:26
SPEAKER_00: That like you're not allowed to like tell your business to other people, which is such a thing, such a thing.
34:32
SPEAKER_00: And and so, yeah, so like you you talk about that, and I also actually and I was thinking about that exact point when you were talking about how you never really saw your parents fight, which is also probably, I would argue, maybe a Midwestern thing as well.
34:44
SPEAKER_00: We're both Ohio girlies out here, so yeah.
34:48
SPEAKER_02: For a long time, I thought that's how you do relationships, that's how you make a marriage work, yeah.
34:55
SPEAKER_00: Or like that's how love is.
34:56
SPEAKER_02: Yes, like when I heard them argue, they got a divorce or separated.
35:02
SPEAKER_02: My mom moved away, and I was like, okay, in my mind, yeah.
35:05
SPEAKER_02: If you fight, if you're trying to fight with me, if you're trying to argue, if you have any disagreement, that's the end of it.
35:12
SPEAKER_02: And that's how a lot of my relationships went.
35:13
SPEAKER_02: It was like first argument, we're done.
35:16
SPEAKER_02: Cause I didn't understand, like, girl, there was probably some things that they were talking about before you even heard that little tiny argument that you did here.
35:25
SPEAKER_02: But I was gonna say the reason why I am more comfortable with telling the story from the space of like when I went down to say bye to my mom, is because when I meditate, I have to go to that point.
35:36
SPEAKER_02: Like when I'm like feeling very anxious about relationships, or I feel I know my trigger, my trauma.
35:42
SPEAKER_02: If I hear this little voice inside of me yelling, or like just like I don't know if this happens to you, but whenever I'm triggered, it is a little voice that I have to go visit.
35:55
SPEAKER_02: And so when I meditate, I have to go to her, who was like walked out on and just give her a hug and let her know she's safe and like I got her, and I I get so frustrated that I have to do it all a lot.
36:08
SPEAKER_02: I have to do it a lot, yeah.
36:10
SPEAKER_02: But it's like that's just what that little version of me needs, and it's very healing because I didn't have anybody to really hug me when that happened.
36:21
SPEAKER_02: You know, I called my mentor after and she picked me up, but it was just like nobody was there to be like, it's okay, you know, okay.
36:31
SPEAKER_00: Yes, I love the I don't love when I'm triggered, right?
36:37
SPEAKER_00: But when I am, I like being like, okay, where is this coming from?
36:40
SPEAKER_00: Like what story or experience has happened that makes me think this is how it has to be?
36:46
SPEAKER_00: And could it be different?
36:47
SPEAKER_00: And who do I need to take care of inside of me?
36:50
SPEAKER_00: Which version of me needs a little hug?
36:52
SPEAKER_00: And I love that.
36:53
SPEAKER_00: 12-year-old Tajil, like she she probably appreciates that, obviously appreciates that so much because she's with you, you know?
37:00
SPEAKER_00: And I to go to story, like I also think like there's just like infinite humans inside of us as individuals.
37:06
SPEAKER_00: Like we are like a universe inside ourselves, and we have all the different ages, all the different potentials.
37:12
SPEAKER_00: Like it's super, super like magic.
37:17
SPEAKER_00: And yeah, I just I love that you've connected with that though, and that you get to like continually process that for yourself.
37:24
SPEAKER_00: I'm sure, like you said, it's annoying.
37:26
SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm sure it's sometimes you're like, again, here we go.
37:28
SPEAKER_00: Let's let's hug it out, you know, and you but you have to take time with it.
37:31
SPEAKER_00: You gotta smell the lemons, make sure they're good before you make that lemonade.
37:36
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I say it like I came up with that wonderful, wonderful story.
37:39
SPEAKER_00: You you really ooh, you I'm never letting that go with the lemons and lemonade.
37:44
SPEAKER_02: I'm sure somebody has said it in all these years of us living.
37:48
SPEAKER_02: I said this to ask you have you seen a blink of time, a blink in the eye, a blink is something on Hulu.
37:57
SPEAKER_02: It basically covers three different people's experiences.
38:02
SPEAKER_00: One of the experiences you saw the trailer, no, but I'm because I'm thinking about your own story and how there is like all these different perspectives, but continue, yeah.
38:14
SPEAKER_02: Okay, one person is like before Christ, they're like it's like the the end of the Neanderthal, Neanderthal period.
38:23
SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh, I wish I could say that word, but it covers like cavemen and their story is fire, then it covers the present.
38:31
SPEAKER_02: A woman who is a anthrologist, is that what it's called when you like anthropologist, yeah, yeah.
38:36
SPEAKER_02: Anthropologist, she is actually uncovering cavemen, and she the caveman she's uncovering is him, and then in the future is covering a human in space that is traveling to the next planet because Earth, you know, has been destroyed.
38:56
SPEAKER_00: I should not be laughing, but I have a I have a friend in uh the creative space that it says, if we don't laugh, we will cry.
39:03
SPEAKER_00: So that's where we're at.
39:05
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yes, it's so just so cool because it covers the time periods and they all experience love.
39:11
SPEAKER_02: Like this person in space has been in space for like 200 years, trying to get to the next place to live.
39:18
SPEAKER_02: And her friend is the theory like device that is controlling the ship.
39:24
SPEAKER_02: So it also throws AI in there and kind of like the death dealing with the death of AI.
39:30
SPEAKER_02: Like at one point, oh, okay, never mind.
39:32
SPEAKER_02: I'm not gonna share the story, but like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
39:35
SPEAKER_00: So so it's good, is what yeah, that that's and I love the the play on like different perspectives.
39:40
SPEAKER_00: I also am a big fan of the what is it, six degrees of separation.
39:45
SPEAKER_00: Like, I think it's just so cool because just like what you're talking about, like being friends with everybody, connecting with everybody, finding common ground with anyone you cross, there's this world of like, wait a second, there really is like you could connect your way to anyone, and that's blows my mind.
40:03
SPEAKER_00: And I've been obsessed with it since I was a child, and I'm obsessed with all of this.
40:07
SPEAKER_00: I I've always loved sci-fi.
40:08
SPEAKER_00: I have kind of cut back on my sci-fi since 2020, but like I I was such a big, I was such a big sci-fi fan.
40:16
SPEAKER_00: Um, but that sounds so fun, and I love that.
40:19
SPEAKER_02: I just found out that I know someone who ASAP Rocky, he took her virginity, and I am six degrees away from Rihanna.
40:33
SPEAKER_00: Like as you would be, yeah, you might be less degrees away from her.
40:38
SPEAKER_02: I know that was crazy, but I thought that was so crazy.
40:41
SPEAKER_02: I was like, wow, like we're all just so connected.
40:44
SPEAKER_00: Like we really, we really freaking are.
40:47
SPEAKER_00: You just don't know.
40:48
SPEAKER_00: Like, and you just like, and that's like just leaving possibility for like just the magic.
40:53
SPEAKER_00: Like last night, I don't know, like Phil and I were deciding between a restaurant to go to last night, and and I don't know, I just like wasn't necessarily like in the mood for anything versus something else.
41:02
SPEAKER_00: And I was just like, but my gut says we need to go to this pizza place, and like the conversation we ended up having with the bartender was just like super nourishing, it felt nourishing for both her and us, like it was just so good, you know, and you just gotta like kind of follow those threads.
41:18
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, crazy, it is crazy.
41:21
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I love, love, love as a storyteller and helping people tell stories, you obviously have like throughout the years, like practiced and like perfected and played with your craft of crafting narratives, telling stories, and I'm sure you have like a few that you enjoy telling.
41:42
SPEAKER_00: So, would you like to to share those, list those off?
41:45
SPEAKER_00: Whatever kind of comes to mind with this prompt, if you will.
41:49
SPEAKER_02: My most recent favorite story to share is when I tricked this girl into thinking I was a twin.
41:58
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, just started it's so great.
42:03
SPEAKER_02: Like, I didn't realize how crazy that was until like in the more recent years.
42:08
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
42:09
SPEAKER_02: But basically, guys, I had a not a I wouldn't even call her a bully.
42:13
SPEAKER_02: I would say we were both just kids and just were mean to each other through our words, and she took her meanness, our verbal wasn't enough.
42:22
SPEAKER_02: She punched me and I didn't have a chance to retaliate.
42:26
SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna be honest, I don't think I wanted to retaliate.
42:30
SPEAKER_02: She was a very bigger kid, and yeah, and so one day I went to go like in the summer after the school was over.
42:38
SPEAKER_02: I went to these like baseball practices with my dad.
42:41
SPEAKER_02: He used to play like community league baseball games, and I went there and she was there.
42:47
SPEAKER_02: Like her mom was playing on the same team as my dad, and I just like did not want to see her.
42:52
SPEAKER_02: I was embarrassed, but she saw me and she called my name.
42:56
SPEAKER_02: She's like, Hi, Tajil, you know, just like in this as they do nasty, and I was like, Oh no, I'm not Tajil, like you're you're I'm Ashley, I'm her, you know, twin sister.
43:08
SPEAKER_02: A lot of people do that, and so ended up like it's not.
43:11
SPEAKER_00: I'm so sorry that this happened, it happens very often.
43:14
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's great.
43:15
SPEAKER_02: Yes, literally, and like so.
43:17
SPEAKER_02: I was like going to you know, leave it at that, like, hi girl, you're talking about my twin Sia.
43:23
SPEAKER_02: But she was like, Oh my gosh, you seem so much cooler than her.
43:26
SPEAKER_02: Like, and so like we started hanging out, and every time I would go to practice with my dad, we would hang out, and like we were like building this relationship through this fake version of my twin.
43:38
SPEAKER_02: And so one day, I think I got in trouble and I couldn't go with him to practice.
43:43
SPEAKER_02: My mom wanted to keep me home so I could do some chores, and so I missed the practice.
43:49
SPEAKER_02: The next practice that I went to, the girl came up to me and she was like, You lied to me, you're not a twin, you're Tajil.
43:59
SPEAKER_02: And I was like, wait.
44:00
SPEAKER_02: What are you talking about?
44:01
SPEAKER_02: And she was like, When you weren't here last week, I asked your dad, like, where's Ashley?
44:05
SPEAKER_02: And your dad didn't know who I was talking about.
44:07
SPEAKER_02: He was just like, Who are you talking about?
44:09
SPEAKER_02: Who is Ashley?
44:10
SPEAKER_02: And um, she's like, Your daughter, and he was like, My daughter's name is Tajil, and she was like, Her twin.
44:15
SPEAKER_02: And he's like, Tajel doesn't have a twin.
44:17
SPEAKER_02: What are you talking about?
44:19
SPEAKER_02: So I just told her he was lying.
44:21
SPEAKER_02: I was like, He is lying to you.
44:23
SPEAKER_02: I don't know why he's lying, but she didn't believe me, which I mean, yeah.
44:27
SPEAKER_02: So I just felt like I felt like I was like, You want to put your hands on me, you know?
44:35
SPEAKER_02: I'm a I'm a mess with your mind, you know, like, and now that's a story that she'll remember forever, you know?
44:42
SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
44:43
SPEAKER_00: Like, yeah, right.
44:44
SPEAKER_00: Because it was like just like it's like you've got this perspective of like what you did and why you did it.
44:48
SPEAKER_00: Like, she's got she's like, That that lady did this.
44:52
SPEAKER_00: Can you believe it?
44:53
SPEAKER_00: Like, yeah, I don't know.
44:55
SPEAKER_02: I'm reading this book right now, and it's like there should always be things that you learn from stories that you share, and I'm like, I don't think that's true.
45:04
SPEAKER_02: Like, I didn't learn anything from this twin experience, except like I guess not to lie, because it's gonna be hard to keep it up, but it's hard to keep it up because a lot of work to lie.
45:16
SPEAKER_00: You gotta put everybody in on the plan, yeah.
45:18
SPEAKER_00: Right, yeah.
45:19
SPEAKER_00: You can be like, hey dad, here's the thing, right?
45:21
SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, yeah.
45:22
SPEAKER_00: Your dad did not have your back on that situation.
45:25
SPEAKER_02: No, I come on, man.
45:28
SPEAKER_02: Okay, so the twin is my favorite story to tell.
45:30
SPEAKER_02: And then I like to tell this story about how I stole Pokemon cards for my cousin, and then I do love telling my adoption story, even though it ruffles some feathers sometimes.
45:42
SPEAKER_02: Really?
45:43
SPEAKER_02: Yes, because of your family or because of you know, everybody always has their different perspectives when you tell a story that includes, you know, more than you and another person.
45:54
SPEAKER_02: So everyone has their perspective on how it happens.
45:58
SPEAKER_02: I think one time I told a story, and my brother, my biological brother who like found me was upset about a few things.
46:06
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so I'm learning how to tell the story in a way that just is I don't know, I tell it different every time.
46:14
SPEAKER_00: I don't know, yeah.
46:16
SPEAKER_00: It's iterate like iterating and playing with it, yeah.
46:19
SPEAKER_02: It really helps me practice not caring about other people's, you know, because like that's what stops a lot of people from sharing their story is like I don't want to offend this person or I don't want this person to say anything.
46:32
SPEAKER_02: And it's like as long as you enter it with are you trying to be a dick about it?
46:37
SPEAKER_02: Okay, you're not, then tell your story.
46:39
SPEAKER_02: And if that's how they take it, then unfortunately that's on them.
46:44
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, they should tell their story, they should tell their side.
46:47
SPEAKER_00: They should they should join, yeah.
46:49
SPEAKER_00: They should come join us and and practice their their yeah, sharing their side of it.
46:53
SPEAKER_00: Well, and so that's actually something as I, you know, become like if I as I dig more and more into this podcast, right?
46:59
SPEAKER_00: And I'm practicing like having my solos, having my conversations, like as I keep sharing, keep expanding, like there are things that like I'm excited to share about, but I'm still like kind of approaching exactly what you're saying, right?
47:11
SPEAKER_00: It's like, okay, where where do I where I'm kind of, you know, where do I make sure I know where the line is?
47:17
SPEAKER_00: But then it's also like you can do anything.
47:20
SPEAKER_00: Like you can just be out here living, and it'll just make people mad if you like take up a little bit of space or like be your full self, right?
47:27
SPEAKER_00: So it is, it's like if you're not trying, if the intent isn't ill, then then go for it.
47:33
SPEAKER_00: And and people can communicate their boundaries, they can express their like, hey, like not really loving how you you're conveying me in that story, and then you you can kind of take it or leave it as long as it's not causing too much harm, right?
47:44
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I think that's the beautiful thing is like communication.
47:48
SPEAKER_02: Like, if someone is like, oh my gosh, that happened with me and my brother.
47:52
SPEAKER_02: My brother that found me.
47:54
SPEAKER_02: We went on this trip to Alabama to visit, he wanted to introduce me to my biological grandfather, and like on the way back home from Alabama to Ohio, we got into this huge argument, and it was basically I called him selfish.
48:10
SPEAKER_02: I was like, you don't think about anyone, like you just think about yourself, and we were able to like really unpack our story.
48:18
SPEAKER_02: You know, he was able to bring his frustrations with me about you know the stories that I've shared or how I have approached being adopted, but I think storytelling creates room for communication and conversations because I learned a lot about my brother.
48:33
SPEAKER_02: You know, I felt like he was very careless during my adoption, and that's how I share my story, how I shared it before.
48:39
SPEAKER_02: But he was telling me like, you're the like 10th sibling I found.
48:44
SPEAKER_02: So by the time I got to you, it was no surprise.
48:47
SPEAKER_02: Like the first time I found a sibling, I was like, dang, I got a brother.
48:51
SPEAKER_02: But then by the time I got to you, I have found so many of my siblings.
48:54
SPEAKER_02: It was just like, come on, get in the car, let's go.
48:57
SPEAKER_02: Whereas if this was your first time being in this experience, so you had a different perspective.
49:02
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
49:03
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so back up because I think I'm missing a few details here.
49:06
SPEAKER_00: We you the age you found out you're adopted was 12, correct?
49:11
SPEAKER_02: 19, 12.
49:12
SPEAKER_02: 19.
49:14
SPEAKER_00: So she didn't, so you so she didn't tell yeah, okay.
49:17
SPEAKER_00: I I think I got a little confused at that point.
49:19
SPEAKER_00: So so yeah, so your mom moved to DC at 12, you found out at 19, and then and then so you have this this brother, this is that this one who's seven years older, or is that the is there a different brother?
49:31
SPEAKER_02: This is a different brother.
49:32
SPEAKER_02: So Okay, cool.
49:33
SPEAKER_00: So you had like in your adoptive family, the one that you grew up with, one brother seven years older.
49:38
SPEAKER_00: But then some random man who's not so random because he's your biological brother found you.
49:43
SPEAKER_00: Okay, okay, I'm caught up.
49:45
SPEAKER_00: So he found you, but he's like, You're nothing.
49:47
SPEAKER_00: He didn't say it like this, but it felt like he was like, You're nothing special.
49:50
SPEAKER_00: I found a bunch of my siblings.
49:52
SPEAKER_00: And that's not what he's saying, right?
49:53
SPEAKER_00: But but there's a level of like, it was like, he's like, I've already gone through this.
49:57
SPEAKER_00: And for you, it was like, this is the first time you're like, oh my gosh, there's a blood relative out there.
50:02
SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, Tajel, this is so much.
50:06
SPEAKER_02: He didn't communicate.
50:07
SPEAKER_02: I didn't know he had found many of his siblings.
50:10
SPEAKER_02: Got it five years later, because we were I was just so angry with him.
50:14
SPEAKER_02: I just fell so upset with how casual it was for him.
50:20
SPEAKER_02: It was literally like I posted a baby picture on Facebook.
50:23
SPEAKER_02: He messaged me and was like, They're not your parents, they need to tell you.
50:27
SPEAKER_02: He has saw Is that so that's at 19?
50:30
SPEAKER_02: Yep.
50:31
SPEAKER_02: Yes, it was from him.
50:34
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
50:34
SPEAKER_02: So I'm gonna take you back real quick.
50:36
SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna make this short and quick because it could be long.
50:40
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
50:40
SPEAKER_02: When I was in high school, there was a boy that would say I looked just like his mom.
50:44
SPEAKER_02: He would be like, You look just like my mom, and I'd be like, Oh, okay.
50:47
SPEAKER_02: And one time his mom came to pick him up, and he was about to introduce me to her, but my social studies teacher was like, Where's your hall pass, Tage?
50:56
SPEAKER_02: And I was like, I don't have it.
50:57
SPEAKER_02: So he was like, Come to class.
50:58
SPEAKER_02: So I never got to meet her.
51:00
SPEAKER_02: And then I posted a baby picture two years later when I was 19 for like throwback Thursday, and he reached out to me and was like, You are adopted, like you need to tell your parents to tell you the truth.
51:14
SPEAKER_02: And or no, he told me to call him.
51:16
SPEAKER_02: He didn't text me that he told me to call him.
51:18
SPEAKER_00: Got it, got it.
51:18
SPEAKER_00: So I called him wallet text, like, yeah, no, no, no.
51:22
SPEAKER_02: So I called him, and that's when he said that.
51:25
SPEAKER_02: And so it was like a week of events.
51:27
SPEAKER_02: Like, once he said that, I didn't believe him.
51:30
SPEAKER_02: I just thought he was like really crazy, and um, but more stuff kept happening.
51:35
SPEAKER_02: He kept sending me pictures of his mom when she was a teenager, and I was like showing my friends, I was like, She don't look anything like me, and they were like, Tajel, um, she looks just like you, and so it really took a week for me to really confront my parents, specifically my dad, and be like, hey dad, I feel like I'm being harassed.
51:57
SPEAKER_02: Like, I need your help.
51:59
SPEAKER_02: Can you at least tell these people to leave me alone or tell me if I'm adopted?
52:04
SPEAKER_02: And my dad was like, you know, you're adopted.
52:07
SPEAKER_02: You know, he finally admitted it.
52:09
SPEAKER_02: I have been asking him all week for real.
52:10
SPEAKER_02: Like, or telling him what was going on.
52:13
SPEAKER_00: Like, you know, and you're like, this is you're like, you're at this point, yeah.
52:16
SPEAKER_00: You're like, I am either being harassed, I need to take action about this harassment, or you need to fess up, basically.
52:23
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, no, yeah, that's that's I mean, that's holy goodness, my lady.
52:28
SPEAKER_00: You are really doing it out here.
52:30
SPEAKER_00: And you, I'm just you inspired me before, but like just hot damn.
52:34
SPEAKER_00: And it's not even about inspiration, right?
52:36
SPEAKER_00: I've said that to to past guests, and they're like, I just want like people to know that like you can move through anything, right?
52:42
SPEAKER_00: Like you can like, and that like you know, because you're out here in the community doing wonderful things, and like imagine if other community members are are also doing wonderful things.
52:54
SPEAKER_00: But I think that people get so caught up, they're like, oh, well, Tejil's so wonderful, this, that, and the other, because you are, but then they don't realize that they can make as much of a difference as you, right?
53:03
SPEAKER_00: And you've been through it as well, and and I love thanks, yeah.
53:08
SPEAKER_02: I think we're all awesome.
53:10
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, agreed.
53:11
SPEAKER_02: I wish we could all like I wish it was easier said than done.
53:16
SPEAKER_02: Like, I get the mental blocks and the trauma, you know.
53:21
SPEAKER_02: There's so much more that has happened to me, you know, and I wish we all could compartmentalize.
53:29
SPEAKER_02: No, I'm kidding.
53:32
SPEAKER_00: I know you said that, and I was like, huh, that's absolutely not the tone we've been having the whole time.
53:38
SPEAKER_02: No, I wish we all could like just like realize that that's a part of our story, and we can carry all of that with us, and it can be painful, but it can also it can also be beautiful and make you a lot of money.
53:52
SPEAKER_02: Like if we're being honest with ourselves, uh just step into it, don't yeah, don't let it hold you back, don't let it man.
54:01
SPEAKER_02: I've I've met so many people that have had such traumatic experience is that like learn to grow gardens from it, like that's the soil that like grows these beautiful flowers, and it grows the weeds too.
54:15
SPEAKER_02: It grows the weeds, it grows it all, but it grows things.
54:20
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it really does, it really does, and you get to tend to it.
54:24
SPEAKER_00: Yes, yes, we love a a whisper, yes.
54:28
SPEAKER_00: Wow, Tay Jo.
54:29
SPEAKER_00: I'm I'm really grateful for your existence and like your your willingness to just really show up fully.
54:37
SPEAKER_00: I think it's so special to to have that one as an individual, like to be around people like you and and be around you is flipping awesome.
54:46
SPEAKER_00: And then the fact that you're willing to to share all this uh with you know the people that enjoy my podcast means the world to me.
54:54
SPEAKER_00: I would love if you could share with folks kind of what you have going on, what's coming up.
54:59
SPEAKER_00: Uh, I know you've got some really exciting things that you're working on that I can't wait to watch unfold.
55:04
SPEAKER_00: So please share.
55:06
SPEAKER_02: Well, thanks for having me, Caitlin.
55:08
SPEAKER_02: And you're an angel on earth.
55:09
SPEAKER_02: I'm really happy we met.
55:10
SPEAKER_02: And we do.
55:11
SPEAKER_00: It's one of those things where like you, I the universe, sorry, I totally interrupted you.
55:16
SPEAKER_00: The universe like ended up just like kind of walking me past the improv building at one point on like a walk in Dayton, and I was just like, I'm signing up, right?
55:25
SPEAKER_00: And then it's like the things that unfold from there are just gorgeous.
55:29
SPEAKER_00: So thank you for saying those nice things.
55:31
SPEAKER_00: Thanks for letting me interrupt.
55:32
SPEAKER_00: Continue what you were saying.
55:34
SPEAKER_02: No, you're fine.
55:36
SPEAKER_02: Okay, what do I have going on?
55:38
SPEAKER_02: Lore, my story coaching business is doing very well.
55:42
SPEAKER_02: Definitely come through, visit our you can follow us on Instagram at Lore Storytelling for all of that.
55:47
SPEAKER_02: We have a podcast coming out, it's called Lore Behind the Story.
55:52
SPEAKER_02: And basically, we're interviewing people who have told stories on our platform to kind of talk about the experience and the story that they told and why they chose that story.
56:00
SPEAKER_02: But we're gonna start the series off with interviewing families about their family history.
56:07
SPEAKER_02: You know, I really want to promote storytelling within our like village and our families because I feel like we feel like they aren't important or we don't share them, or we allow shame to silence us completely.
56:22
SPEAKER_02: And so I feel like seeing families that have shared their stories and how it's impacted, um, how storytelling has impacted their bloodline will be really cool.
56:32
SPEAKER_02: And I hope it inspires people to start telling more of their stories to their families.
56:36
SPEAKER_02: So the podcast has come now.
56:38
SPEAKER_02: Uh I'm just really trying to have fun, honestly, y'all.
56:42
SPEAKER_02: It sounds like a lot.
56:43
SPEAKER_02: I'm trying to have fun, I'm trying to get resources so I can feed my baby, and I'm just trying to make the most of this little life that I have and not be a hater.
56:55
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
56:55
SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
56:56
SPEAKER_00: So grateful for you.
56:58
SPEAKER_00: I'm so the things you're doing, the ripples that happen as a result, like even that family, you know, theme and approach and idea and like context, it's like, oh yeah, you're out here just like healing generations real quick.
57:12
SPEAKER_00: Like no biggie, you know?
57:15
SPEAKER_02: That's funny.
57:16
SPEAKER_02: You know what?
57:17
SPEAKER_02: My grandma, I know we don't have much time, so I'll keep it quick.
57:20
SPEAKER_02: But my grandmother, she just passed away December 10th.
57:24
SPEAKER_02: She was on her deathbed for three months.
57:27
SPEAKER_02: Like, we had a we she told us she was leaving this earth on September 9th, and December 10th she passed away.
57:35
SPEAKER_02: But she used that time to tell us stories and to share information.
57:40
SPEAKER_02: And the whole time while she was talking and sharing, I was just like, I love that she's sharing these stories, but I wish she didn't feel like she had to wait until she was on her deathbed to do it.
57:51
SPEAKER_02: Like, how beautiful would it have been to know more about her life at this capacity while she was still here?
57:59
SPEAKER_02: And you find out she wanted to be an actress when she was a kid, and I wanted to be an actress, but I didn't see anyone around me, you know.
58:06
SPEAKER_02: But what if my grandmother would have told me she wanted to do that?
58:09
SPEAKER_02: Like, you know, where would I be?
58:12
SPEAKER_02: I think I'm where I'm exactly where I need to be.
58:14
SPEAKER_02: But yeah, so that's where a lot of the inspiration came up.
58:17
SPEAKER_02: Always been inspired to dive more into family story sharing.
58:21
SPEAKER_02: But my grandmother really like planted the seed and like pushed it forward.
58:26
SPEAKER_00: Oh, I love thank you, thank you for sharing that last bit.
58:29
SPEAKER_00: I I'm sorry to hear about your loss, but I also love the experience that you had and the inspiration.
58:34
SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm I'm grateful for the inspiration that came from that experience because it that's that's gonna really just make a huge difference.
58:42
SPEAKER_00: It's almost like your grandma left that for like, you know, your community, and and and that's so so great.
58:48
SPEAKER_00: So great.
58:49
SPEAKER_00: Tajil, thank you so much.
58:50
SPEAKER_00: I know you gotta you gotta scoot.
58:52
SPEAKER_00: We both got a scoop, but you're the best around, and I hope you know it.
58:55
SPEAKER_02: Oh, thanks, Caitlin.
58:57
SPEAKER_02: And oh y'all, we got a music video dropping soon, so be prepared.
59:01
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so yeah, check, follow Tajil on the interwebs and and she will let you know.
59:05
SPEAKER_00: She's very good about keeping keeping people up to date.
59:11
SPEAKER_00: Crafted Connections is lovingly produced by Calhoun Creative Consulting, a strategic storytelling firm dedicated to helping people and brands tell their stories in a way that resonates.
59:22
SPEAKER_00: If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe and connect with us on Instagram at Crafted Connections Pod.
59:29
SPEAKER_00: Keep creating, keep connecting, until we meet again.