Latest / Lightbearer's Library / Moving house as an INFP & INFJ... it's a lot (HSP)

Transcript

Moving house as an INFP & INFJ... it's a lot (HSP) · Lightbearer's Library

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, dear soul, and welcome to the Light Bears Library.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: My name is Kate Harmony.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: In today's journal entry, I want to talk about how an INFJ, my husband, and I, an INFP, are dealing with our move.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: Because it's quite funny.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: We move about on average once a year, maybe less, and uh for the last 10 years.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: So it's kind of something we do.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: It's a complete and utter waste of time, and I don't like moving.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but it's something we do, and it seems to never get easier as an INFP and an INFJ together.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: You know, uh, so just an update.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: We still currently don't have a place to move at the end of the month.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: Today is Monday, and we move at 9 a.m.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: on Thursday.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, keep your fingers crossed or whatever you do, you know, send good juju, good vibes.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'll take it all.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um, this is the latest we've ever like not had a place to move to.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: So it feels a bit um panicky and stressful, but hey, what are you gonna do?
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: We're we're going with it, not getting a lot of sleep these days, but hey.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: So I wanted to talk about the cognitive functions up that I see coming up now that I am, you know, more and more aware.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: I've done more research on how we work cognitively, the two of us.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: And it's really funny now because I can see how we're we really, really want to avoid the you know, our inferior function.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm talking about the MBATI types, um, but and the cognitive functions.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: So for INFJ's, his um, well, I'll talk about my weakness first.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so my weakness is my inferior function is TE, which is extroverted thinking.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: So that's organization, making lists, packing, uh, you know, just just making decisions that have to do with logistics.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um, my mom is an ESTJ, so that's her strong suit, her dominant suit.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: And um yeah, uh yeah, it doesn't didn't rub off.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, maybe, but anyway.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: So when it comes to that, it's just it feels so overwhelming because that's what moving and packing requires is that that TE to, you know, make plans with all the stuff and where it goes.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: And anyway.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: So it's whenever it comes to packing, I'm just like, what if I do it wrong or there's not enough boxes, or and then my husband's inferior function is SE, which is extroverted sensing.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: And so for him, kind of getting engaged in the packing process is it's hard to get him kind of like started on the process, you know, the cleaning and the the packing and kind of like yeah, getting organized to the two of us together.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's like a so it's a bit last minute, and um and and it's sometimes like a lot of things you can't pack until the last minute because you're still like I cook, I cook and make all our food from scratch.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, I need kitchen stuff.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: And anyway.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: So uh um, and then when it comes to our dominant functions as um me as an INFP, you know, I'm looking for a place that that speaks to my soul that just says, yes, that's it.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: I want to live there.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: And like that's a yes for me.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: And the thing is, is that there is nothing.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: We have searched, we live near Calgary, Alberta.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: We have searched Calgary, Alberta.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: Not that we want to live in the city anymore, like we're done.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but we've searched outlying towns.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: It's just there's like nothing nothing that speaks to my soul that has said, yes, I want to live here.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, obviously we have we have to move somewhere, and it's and we have been trying.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's not like I I know that that's you we can't always have what we want, right?
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: Like, so you know, we found a couple of places that we're we're looking at and we've got the leases for, and it's just a matter of kind of picking between the two.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: They're different different towns with very different landlords.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: One's a brand new landlord whose lease is a bit crazy, a bit crazy.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: You know, the property consists of only the basin suite, none of the exterior property.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, but that means what we're supposed to just like operate and disapparate into the basement suite somehow without walking on the property, like the outside property.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: It's just like, you know, I know that's a one small thing, but it just made us laugh.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: It just made us laugh.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: And then the other one's an experienced landlord, and um, that's really great, but the property is really, really small.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so how we're gonna run two businesses out of that and live in it full time, you know, is crazy.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: So anyway, my husband's dominant function is uh introverted intuition, and it's not always clear what if it's an intuitive thing of we shouldn't sign this or we should, it's it's it's it's it's difficult.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: It's difficult navigating the intuition because is it is it just are we maybe not wanting or is he self-sabotaging?
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know about you, but he as INFJs, he is a he's a masterful self-sabotager when it comes to his own, you know, if sort of fulfilling his own needs and wants and desires.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: And so I don't know about you, but so he's trying to be conscious and present and aware of like, am I sab self-sabotaging by not moving to the town we want to move in?
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: And that's the place where we've got the small place, um, for the the, you know, for the one that's two-bedroom just down the road.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: So there's pros and cons to both of them.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: And so navigating his intuition is like, is it right?
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: So, and then with his his parent function of FE, he needs to, uh, which is extroverted feeling, he needs to extrovert the what he's thinking and feeling and going through.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: So he's telling me, and and be so he's telling me why we should move one place or we shouldn't move another place, and then later on that day he's flipped his mind and he's saying the other way, and then we'll wake up the next morning and it's the other way.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, oh my goodness.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: But so he needs to talk that through.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: And for me having introverted feeling, I'm like, just make up your mind.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you know, but he's gotta like it's almost like the words need to come out of his mouth for him to get a feeling of whether it's it's true for him or not.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's kind of like the idea of muscle testing, right?
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, when you when you are holding something that's bad for you, it's like you have weak muscles, oops, and your your your arm will like go down.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: Or if you're holding something that's really nutritious and healthy for you, your arm stays really strong.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: So it's almost like his the words have to come out of his mouth for his cognition, for his the way that he works to be able to see whether something is true for him or not.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I'm not inside of him, so I can't tell, I can't tell from the outside what rings true or not.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm just always like, okay, we're going with this one, and then we're going with that one.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: And it gets a bit dizzying.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um, yeah, but my any like my extroverted intuition is quite happy.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, yeah, we could do either.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: I'm happy to go to that one and, you know, figure it out, living in a small, small box, or move to that one and you know, we'll figure it out.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: And in the midst of all that, what do we, you know, we we tend to want to go into that sort of safe, safe space.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and for me, that's that's um, you know, introverted sensing, which is about, you know, good memories.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: We we want to do good memories, but for me, what ends up happening is I end up thinking about bad memories, bad things like bad, bad experiences with my family currently, because you know, they live down the road, but they're sure as heck not gonna help me move, are they?
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: No, no, no, no, they couldn't care less.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: And that's fine.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: That's fine.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: I've moved on.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: Not really.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: I I'm in the process of working through, but it brings up the the anger for me being in this situation and and needing needing and wanting help, but they're not being that.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: So it's um, yeah, so that's that's not kind of a a security blanket for me, although, you know, yeah, I've just been I've been, you know what?
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: Here's the thing.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: Here's the thing.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: For me, I have been replying to as many comments as I can here on the Light Bearers Library because your comments and your lovely, caring and kind comments have been keeping me, keeping me going, keeping me breathing, keeping me with a vision of the future of our Light Bearers Library community that we're that I'm I'm conceptualizing and building in my mind, ready to kind of get it going once we move.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: Because we've talked about that in previous videos.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'm working on it.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, we're gonna, we're gonna do it.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna do it.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: And um, so that's that's coming.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: So just keeping that focus on on the positive energy, the positive future that that I'm building here, that we're building together, you know, that we won't feel so lonely and we'll be able to connect with one another.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: So that's what I'm holding on to through all of this.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, okay, just get through this so I can continue, continue on with Light Bear's Library.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: And then my husband, as an INFJ, his TI function, he, which is introverted thinking, he just wants to have his face in a book.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, that's that's his happy place.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: His happy place is his books.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: So um today I finally made him pack them.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, okay, we need the bot the books in boxes.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you know, things need to go in boxes now.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: You know, he was like, Yeah, great, let's do it.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but you know, his happy place would be, you know, just researching and listening to his podcasts and thoughts and ideas and philosophy and all of it.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm like, at some point we do need we do need to pack and we do need to make a decision.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: So all that to say, we don't have a place we're going to see the small box place tonight again to just see if it's possible to even get our bed and our two desks and like and me to film and him to record podcasts for Hack Music Theory.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_00: How that all works out.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_00: So um yeah.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_00: Wish us luck.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: And that's kind of how an INFJ and an INFP move is as best we can with hope with the help of movers.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: We we we stopped moving ourselves a long time ago because no thank you.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: We no thank you.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: Not gonna hurt our bodies or like, you know, not that we're not strong or anything, but it's just it's just when you see these movers, they just move so fast they can pick up things that would take us, you know, take two people and we'd have to stop on the way up the stairs or whatever, right?
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: Like these movers are massive and so strong, it's like, okay, and they can do it in half the time that we could doing it on our own.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: And um, and hopefully maybe a cleaning, cleaning lady, maybe I don't know.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: We'll see.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: It's just the last minute stuff that gets me all panicky and oh anyway.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: If you have experience as an INFJ or an INFP moving, and this has been somewhat similar to your own experience, I would love to hear from you in the comments to just feel not so alone, not so crazy, not so just inadequate for the excuse me, inadequate for the task at hand.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: I would rather be chatting with you guys.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_00: Well, dear soul, I'm wishing you so many blessings.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for being here in the Libraries Library.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: You fill me up with love and hope and joy.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: And it's it's just it's you are a blessing to me.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you for being here.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: Signing off for today, XOXO Kate.