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Transcript

The Day We Didn’t Know We Shared · Infinite Threads with Bob Barnett

• 0:00
  [music]
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: hey, hey guys, welcome back to Infinite Threads.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Bob.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yesterday, we followed Eli.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: He missed a bus,
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  SPEAKER_00: almost missed a job interview,
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: got some unexpected help,
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: and then passed a little of that help forward to a woman named Denise.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: Denise went home to check on her father, Frank.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: And Frank,
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  SPEAKER_00: for reasons he could not completely explain,
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: Finally did something that he had been putting off for months.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: He called his brother.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: His name was Sam.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: Frank and Sam had grown up close.
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  SPEAKER_00: Not the sentimental movie version of close.
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  SPEAKER_00: Real brother close.
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  SPEAKER_00: They teased each other.
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  SPEAKER_00: They argued.
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  SPEAKER_00: They knew exactly which buttons to push.
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  SPEAKER_00: Because they had helped install most of them.
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  SPEAKER_00: I know how that is.
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  SPEAKER_00: I have two brothers.
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  SPEAKER_00: As adults, they stayed in touch, but life changed the shape of the relationship.
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  SPEAKER_00: Jobs, families, distance.
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  SPEAKER_00: Then, a few months earlier, there had been an argument.
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  SPEAKER_00: It started over something small.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: Most arguments between people who love each other do.
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  SPEAKER_00: A comment.
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  SPEAKER_00: A tone.
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  SPEAKER_00: A misunderstanding that picked up old baggage on the way through.
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  SPEAKER_00: Neither brother said anything unforgivable.
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  SPEAKER_00: That almost made it worse.
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  SPEAKER_00: Because there was no dramatic event to repair.
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  SPEAKER_00: Just hurt feelings and pride.
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  SPEAKER_00: Frank thought Sam should call.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: Sam, of course, thought Frank should call.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: So neither one did.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: At first, the silence felt temporary.
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  SPEAKER_00: Then it started to become awkward.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: Then it started becoming the norm.
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  SPEAKER_00: That's how distance grows sometimes.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: Not with a slammed door, but with one day of silence followed by another.
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  SPEAKER_00: Frank had almost called several times.
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  SPEAKER_00: He would pick up the phone, look at Sam's name and think, maybe tomorrow.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: Then Denise told him about Eli, the kid who missed the bus.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: The strangers who helped him.
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  SPEAKER_00: The way one person's kindness had led to another.
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  SPEAKER_00: Frank didn't have some grand revelation.
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  SPEAKER_00: He just suddenly felt tired of waiting.
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  SPEAKER_00: So he pressed call.
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  SPEAKER_00: Across town, Sam was sitting at his kitchen table.
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  SPEAKER_00: He had been there for almost an hour.
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  SPEAKER_00: There was a cup of coffee in front of him that had gone cold.
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  SPEAKER_00: Beside it was an envelope from his doctor.
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  SPEAKER_00: Earlier that afternoon, he had received test results.
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  SPEAKER_00: The doctor had told him they needed to do more testing.
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  SPEAKER_00: Nothing had been confirmed,
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  SPEAKER_00: but there was enough concern that Sam's mind had already traveled much farther than
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  SPEAKER_00: the facts.
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  SPEAKER_00: He'd spent the afternoon imagining every possible future.
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  SPEAKER_00: He'd not told anyone yet.
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  SPEAKER_00: Not his daughter, not his friends, and certainly not Frank.
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  SPEAKER_00: I mean, they weren't speaking.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: Then the phone rang.
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  SPEAKER_00: Sam looked at the screen.
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  SPEAKER_00: It said, Frank.
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  SPEAKER_00: He stared at it.
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  SPEAKER_00: For a moment, pride almost won.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: But then he answered, what?
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  SPEAKER_00: Frank laughed.
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  SPEAKER_00: Well, hello to you too.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: There was a pause.
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  SPEAKER_00: Then Sam said, what do you want?
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  SPEAKER_00: Frank had not planned what to say.
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  SPEAKER_00: That was probably good.
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  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
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  SPEAKER_00: I thought I'd call.
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  SPEAKER_00: Another pause.
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  SPEAKER_00: Sam looked at the envelope on the table.
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  SPEAKER_00: Frank said, this is stupid.
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  SPEAKER_00: What is this?
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  SPEAKER_00: Us not talking.
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  SPEAKER_00: Sam leaned back in the chair.
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  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that one word changed the conversation.
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  SPEAKER_00: Not because everything was fixed, because neither brother had to pretend anymore.
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  SPEAKER_00: Frank said he was sorry.
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  SPEAKER_00: Sam, well, Sam said he was too.
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  SPEAKER_00: Neither one produced a detailed list of who had been more wrong.
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  SPEAKER_00: That may have been the healthiest decision either of them made all day.
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  SPEAKER_00: Then they started talking.
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  SPEAKER_00: At first about ordinary things.
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  SPEAKER_00: Frank complained about being told to take it easy after his fall.
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  SPEAKER_00: Sam told him he probably should take it easy.
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  SPEAKER_00: Frank told him to mind his own business.
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  SPEAKER_00: That sounded familiar.
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  SPEAKER_00: For the first time in months, they laughed together.
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  SPEAKER_00: Then Frank asked, you okay?
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  SPEAKER_00: And Sam almost said yes.
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  SPEAKER_00: The word was ready.
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  SPEAKER_00: Fine.
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  SPEAKER_00: The answer we use when the truth feels too complicated.
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  SPEAKER_00: But something about hearing his brother's voice made the answer stick.
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  SPEAKER_00: No, Sam said.
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  SPEAKER_00: Frank stopped joking.
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  SPEAKER_00: What's wrong?
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: Sam looked at the envelope.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I got some test results today.
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  SPEAKER_00: And finally, he told somebody.
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  SPEAKER_00: Not everything at once, just enough.
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  SPEAKER_00: Frank listened.
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  SPEAKER_00: He did not try to diagnose him.
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  SPEAKER_00: He did not tell him not to worry.
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  SPEAKER_00: He did not fill the silence with hopeful nonsense.
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  SPEAKER_00: He just stayed on the phone.
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  SPEAKER_00: That was what Sam needed.
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  SPEAKER_00: Someone who knew him before the fear arrived.
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  SPEAKER_00: Someone who remembered him as more than the man sitting alone at
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  SPEAKER_00: a kitchen table imagining the worst.
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  SPEAKER_00: They talked for almost an hour.
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  SPEAKER_00: By the time they hung up, none of the medical questions had changed.
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  SPEAKER_00: The tests still had to happen.
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  SPEAKER_00: The uncertainty was still there.
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  SPEAKER_00: But Sam was no longer carrying it alone,
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  SPEAKER_00: and Frank had no idea how close he had come to waiting one more day.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: That's the part of this story that gets me, guys.
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  SPEAKER_00: He could have called tomorrow.
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  SPEAKER_00: Nothing about tomorrow would have seemed unreasonable.
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  SPEAKER_00: But today was the day that Sam needed somebody.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: And Frank didn't know that.
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  SPEAKER_00: He wasn't responding to a crisis.
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  SPEAKER_00: He was responding to a little nudge inside himself that said, Enough silence.
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  SPEAKER_00: And where did that nudge come from?
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  SPEAKER_00: Maybe from hearing Denise tell him about a kid named Eli.
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  SPEAKER_00: Maybe from realizing how easily strangers had shown up for one another that day.
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  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it simply reminded him that reaching out mattered.
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  SPEAKER_00: Of course, you know, Denise didn't know any of this.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: Eli didn't know any of this.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: Maya certainly didn't.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: Mark, who started the whole morning annoyed at a red light, had absolutely no idea.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: And yet, here we are.
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  SPEAKER_00: One small moment moved into another.
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  SPEAKER_00: Not like a perfect chain where everything had to happen exactly this way,
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  SPEAKER_00: Life is definitely messier than that.
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  SPEAKER_00: But each person changed the conditions for the next person.
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  SPEAKER_00: Mark chose patience.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: Maya had a little more patience to give.
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  SPEAKER_00: Eli received help and noticed Denise.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: Denise carried the story home.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: Frank picked up the phone and Sam answered.
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  SPEAKER_00: None of them, none of them knew the whole day that it happened.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: And that may be the point.
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  SPEAKER_00: We rarely do.
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  SPEAKER_00: We see the conversation we are having,
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  SPEAKER_00: the decision that we are making, the person directly in front of us.
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  SPEAKER_00: We don't see what happens after they leave.
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  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes nothing happens, I'm sure.
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  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes more than we could imagine happens.
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  SPEAKER_00: Later that evening, Sam called his daughter.
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  SPEAKER_00: He had been avoiding that too.
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  SPEAKER_00: He told her about the tests.
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  SPEAKER_00: She was worried, of course, but she also said something that Sam did not expect.
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  SPEAKER_00: I'm glad you told me.
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  SPEAKER_00: He realized he had been trying to protect her by keeping her outside of the problem.
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  SPEAKER_00: Instead, he had also kept her outside of the chance to love him through it.
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  SPEAKER_00: That stayed with him.
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  SPEAKER_00: So when they finished talking, Sam did one more thing.
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  SPEAKER_00: He sent Frank a message.
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  SPEAKER_00: Glad you called.
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  SPEAKER_00: Frank read it and smiled.
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  SPEAKER_00: Then he typed back, Me too.
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  SPEAKER_00: Nothing fancy.
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  SPEAKER_00: Brothers are not always famous for elaborate emotional communication.
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  SPEAKER_00: Tell me about it.
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  SPEAKER_00: But it was enough.
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  SPEAKER_00: Tomorrow, guys, we finish the story.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: We pull back far enough to see the day all at once.
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  SPEAKER_00: Mark, Maya, Eli, Denise, Frank, Sam.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: People who thought that they were moving through separate lives.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: People who would never know most of what happened because of the moments that they shared.
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  SPEAKER_00: And we will ask the question this whole week today.
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  SPEAKER_00: Has been building toward.
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  SPEAKER_00: How much of an ordinary day belongs only to us?
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  SPEAKER_00: Maybe less than we think, right?
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: You know, guys, I love you very, very, very much.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I know you know what I need you to do.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_01: Go out and pass that on, okay?
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: Later, Gators.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: See you tomorrow.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_00: Bye-bye.
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  SPEAKER_02: Every
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  [music]