I Was Buying Kratom At The Gas Station Every Morning Just To Function....It Destroyed Me

Rise Above with Kevin Lanning · Jul 15, 2026 · 1h 14m

Matt Von Boecklin grew up outside Seattle, raised by a single mother after his father suffered a mental break when Matt was a toddler and had to be cared for in a home. A socially anxious kid always reaching for the edge of the cool crowd, Matt found early that alcohol quieted that feeling — and years later, a motorcycle accident introduced him to opiates and opened a door he says was impossible to un-see.

What followed was a global, restless run — tramadol by the pocketful in Mexico, a rock-bottom withdrawal alone in Nairobi crying on a shower floor, and finally the substance almost nobody…