Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #485 Holiday Edition - Ethan Kross

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#485 Holiday Edition - Ethan Kross · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: time poor parent who just once answers.
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: Now good. This is doctor Justin Coulson. Let's get into
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  Speaker 2: today's Thursday edition of the Holiday Happy Families Podcast. Professor
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  Speaker 2: Ethan Cross is a researcher that I admire and respect enormously.
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  Speaker 2: He has an incredible pedigree, and he's written a book
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  Speaker 2: called Chatter, The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters
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  Speaker 2: and How to Harness It. We talked about the top
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  Speaker 2: three tips he has to help our children deal with
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  Speaker 2: self control.
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  Speaker 1: Well, I think one is attention. So teaching them how
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  Speaker 1: to divert their attention away from whatever's tempting them and
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  Speaker 1: give themselves something to focus on is even more powerful.
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  Speaker 1: So really get them to focus in on something that's
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  Speaker 1: equally engaging, but not the thing that's tempting them. So
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  Speaker 1: if you don't want them to watch TV, give them
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  Speaker 1: a really fun buzzle to work on, or something like that,
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  Speaker 1: or problem to work on. Another thing is changing the
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  Speaker 1: way think about something. So if they're looking at the
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  Speaker 1: candy and they really want to eat it, ask them
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  Speaker 1: to imagine, well, you know, imagine that. I guess kids
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  Speaker 1: aren't tempted by bread? Is what is a candy basically
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  Speaker 1: mostly right, I mean, imagine that someone stepped on it,
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  Speaker 1: you know, or those kinds of transformations can be powerful, right,
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  Speaker 1: So don't think about it as a marshmallow. Think about
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  Speaker 1: it as a puffy cloud. Right, So play with it
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  Speaker 1: in your head. And importantly when you play with it,
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  Speaker 1: don't think about the things that are most Oh my god,
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  Speaker 1: I'm going to think about how it's going to taste.
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  Speaker 1: If you've talked to your child about the negative health
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  Speaker 1: implications of eating too much candy, or negative health implications
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  Speaker 1: for a child like tummy aches, right, not feeling good after,
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  Speaker 1: have them think about that, so, you know, think about
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  Speaker 1: the fact that too many marshmallows can make you not
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  Speaker 1: so healthy, and that's not a good thing. You have
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  Speaker 1: to go to the doctor, and so forth and so on.
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  Speaker 1: A third strategy you can use to give you the
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  Speaker 1: last one is you can try something called what we've
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  Speaker 1: called the Batman effect. So have a child pretend find
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  Speaker 1: their favorite superhero. And as so, superheroes are usually generally
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  Speaker 1: really good at exercising restraint, right, and being able to
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  Speaker 1: do good things in the world, and so in some studies,
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  Speaker 1: What a colleague of mind, Stephanie Carlson has found is
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  Speaker 1: that having children use imagine their superhero and use their name.
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  Speaker 1: Imagine your Batman and say what would Batman do right now?
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  Speaker 1: Would Batman be able to not eat the marshmallow? Or
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  Speaker 1: Dora the Explorer? What would Dora do? That can be
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  Speaker 1: really powerful. It transports them into this other role which
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  Speaker 1: gives them some distance from the temptation and also this
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  Speaker 1: superpower to restrain it. And so that's been a fun
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  Speaker 1: strategy that kids have been able to benefit from in
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  Speaker 1: some experiments.
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  Speaker 2: That's Professa Ethan Cross. We had to chat with back
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  Speaker 2: in episode number one hundred and twenty eight of The
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  Speaker 2: Happy Family's podcast. It's a long one, but it's an
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  Speaker 2: absolute ripper. Please go back and have a listen to
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  Speaker 2: it if you enjoyed what Ethan had to say in
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  Speaker 2: our conversation snippet that we've shared with you just now.
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  Speaker 2: Family life is pretty tough going. Sometimes most days are
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  Speaker 2: a struggle between strong willed children and frazzled parents. But
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  Speaker 2: it can be better. The twenty one Days to a
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  Speaker 2: Happier Family program is designed for busy parents who want
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  Speaker 2: a calmer, happier family and it can be done with
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  Speaker 2: evidence based strategies and practices that really work. In twenty
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: one days. All resources are available for your family for
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  Speaker 2: twenty one days to a happier family at happy families
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  Speaker 2: dot com dot au. It's the Happy Famili's podcast, the
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  Speaker 2: podcast for the time poor parent who just wants answers.
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: Now this may sound like it's not related to parenting
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: at all, but free diving. Are you aware of the sport?
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: Have you ever considered what it must be like to
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  Speaker 2: hold your breath for anywhere up to eight minutes, dive
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  Speaker 2: down to the deepest depths that humans can handle. I'm
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  Speaker 2: talking one hundred meters down. The pressure, the way that
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  Speaker 2: it squeezes your internals, what it does to your lungs
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  Speaker 2: that makes them in the size of a grapefruit. Aunt
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  Speaker 2: Williams is a professional free diver. Well, well, actually he's
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  Speaker 2: a recreational free diver because nobody really owns that much
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  Speaker 2: money from it to call yourself a professional. But he's
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: a free diver and a sports psychologist, And in episode
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  Speaker 2: one hundred and nineteen of the Happy Familiess podcast, I
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  Speaker 2: chatted with him about how free diving can give us
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  Speaker 2: life lessons that help us to be better parents. That's
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  Speaker 2: tomorrow on the podcast. I hope you'll join me for it.
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  Speaker 2: It's going to be a fascinating discussion. The Happy Families
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  Speaker 2: podcast is put together because of the great work of
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  Speaker 2: Justin Rulan from Bridge Media and Craig Bruce, our executive producer.
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  Speaker 2: If you'd like more info about making your family happier,
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: please listen to as many episodes of the podcast as
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  Speaker 2: you can possibly digest, or visit happyfamilies dot com dot
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  Speaker 2: a U for more. The p