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How to Gain a True Understanding of Another Person's Viewpoint · Sri Aurobindo Studies

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  When we are met with ideas or understanding propounded by
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  others that we do not agree with, we tend to create a mental
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  barrier as a defence and then develop our mental arguments to
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  contradict or overturn the proposed ideas.
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  There is very little, if any, true understanding that comes
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  out of such interactions. People wind up talking past one
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  another as if they are engaged in two separate and different
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  conversations. There is also no basis for
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  achieving a greater harmony from such interactions.
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  When we do attempt to understand another individual, we generally
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  try to create a mental space consisting of receptivity.
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  We listen and try not to argue and try to work our way to the
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  basis and core of what the other individual is trying to
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  communicate from their viewpoint.
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  Even then, our mental viewpoint will tend to detract from any
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  complete understanding. If we look on this similarly to
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  the complex game of chess, there are individuals who play one
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  side and do not see what the other side is trying to
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  accomplish from their side. Some individuals practice their
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  ability to slip into the viewpoint by switching sides and
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  playing the other side of the game, or in some instances they
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  play both sides, switching and then concentrating on the
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  position from whichever side they happen to be on.
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  At a certain point, however, we begin to realize that we will
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  not be able to understand fully another's viewpoint unless we
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  can enter into the consciousness and experience the vibrational
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  pattern that is moving their thought process.
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  This involves an entirely different type of relation than
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  that of the mental viewpoint trying to push its way into the
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  mental framework of another individual.
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  It involves a level of receptivity that appreciates the
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  oneness of the individuals and is able to open up to the
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  vibratory pattern, thereby gaining a full appreciation and
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  thereby full understanding of the standpoint of the other
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  individual. The mother describes the
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  difference between a mental attempt and what we may call a
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  spiritual action based in oneness.
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  The process takes place in a place of mental silence without
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  the normal marshalling of ideas, logic, debate points, etcetera
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  that characterizes so much of our interactions in the world.
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  The real determining factor is the practice needed to truly
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  shift away from the mental framework to the spiritual, the
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  Mother writes quote. It is the same for everything in
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  all that you do together with others.
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  If you do not agree, take it as a divine grace, a marvelous
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  opportunity given you to make a progress.
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  And it is simple. Instead of being on this side,
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  you are on the other. Instead of looking at yourself,
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  you enter the other person and look.
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  You must have just a little bit of imagination, a little more
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  control over your thoughts, over your movements.
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  But that is not very difficult. When you have tried it out a
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  little, after a while you find it very easy.
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  You must not just look and then make a mental effort telling
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  yourself why is it like this and like that.
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  Why does he do that? Why does he say that You will
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  never arrive at anything you won't understand.
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  You will imagine all kinds of explanations which will be
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  worthless and teach you nothing at all except to tell yourself
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  that person is stupid or else wicked things that lead nowhere.
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  On the other hand, if you only make that little movement and
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  instead of looking at him as an object quite alien to you, you
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  try to enter within. You enter within into that
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  little head that's before you, and then suddenly you find
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  yourself on the other side. You look at yourself and
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  understand quite well what he is saying.
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  Everything is clear, the why, the how, the reason, the feeling
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  which is behind the whole thing. It is an experiment you have the
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  opportunity of making 100 times a day.
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  At first you won't succeed very well, but if you persist you
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  will end up by succeeding admirably.
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  This adds a lot of interest to life, and besides, it is a work
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  which really makes you progress, for it makes you come out of
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  that little armour of yours in which you are nicely shut up, in
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  which you knock against everything.
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  You have seen moths knocking against the light, haven't you?
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  Everyone's consciousness is like that.
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  It goes along, knocking here, knocking there, for these are
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  things foreign to it. But instead of knocking about,
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  one enters within. Then it begins to become a part
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  of oneself. 1 widens oneself, breathes freely, has enough
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  space to move in. One doesn't knock against
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  anything. 1 enters, penetrates, understands and one lives in
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  many places at the same time. It is very interesting one does
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  it automatically. End Quote Reference Srioro Bindo
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  and the Mother Powers within Chapter 13 Power of
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  Identification pages one O 6 to one O 7.