Latest / The Family Teams Podcast / Ep. 111 | The Secret Weapon of the 'Pregame Talk'

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Ep. 111 | The Secret Weapon of the 'Pregame Talk' · The Family Teams Podcast

• 0:00
  What's up, 5-Minute Fatherhood listeners? Have you guys seen that Family Team's Weekend Live is officially open? You can register. You can claim your spot. A two-day event, Cincinnati, Ohio, October 18th and 19th this year. We're going to pack 250 couples in a Memorial Hall historic theater downtown where we're going to lean in, roll up our sleeves, and we're going to be able to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a
• 0:20
  and have a workshop about building a multi-generational family team on mission. You're gonna get practical tips, you're gonna get practical tools, you're gonna leave with a family blueprint and manual, and officially you're also going to be not alone and realize there's other people who want to do the same thing as you. We want you guys there, it's selling out fast, so make sure to go to familyteams.com slash weekend to register and claim your spot. And there's also a special little discount code if you're part of our Facebook group, which you can find a link to that,
• 0:48
  in the info section on audio or the info section on the YouTube channel. So again, familyteams.com slash weekend. It's selling out fast. Claim your spot. We'd love to see you there. The more clear you can be with your kids, those times tend to go really, really well.
• 1:11
  Hey guys, welcome to the 5-Minute Fatherhood Podcast. I'm your co-host, Jeff Bethke, along with my friend and mentor, Jeremy Pryor. Join us Monday through Friday as we chat about quick tips, skills, and ways to help equip you on your journey as a father to build your multi-generational family team on mission. Stay tuned.
• 1:32
  What's up, guys? Jeff and Jeremy here. Another episode of 5-Minute Fatherhood. We got a fun topic today, and that is mastering the pregame talk. I think I know where this is going, and I got some thoughts here, but I love that concept. I love that idea. Jeremy, what's going on here?
• 1:45
  Yeah, so we had a really awesome conversation on our front porch with a bunch of parents of littles. We have a group that we meet with occasionally and talk through, like, what are some of the biggest wins? And so one of the couples mentioned this, and I thought, oh, this was such a big deal for us, especially when we have a bunch of littles. And that is, when you know that in certain environments, things tend to not go well, at the table, in the car, at the grocery store, on the way to church, whatever the thing is that like, oh,
• 2:15
  this breaks down all the time. Why does this break down? I really think it's important to begin to master the pregame talk. And that is right before you enter the grocery store, you sit down with your kids and you give them extremely explicit instructions about what success looks like. Hey guys, I know that oftentimes we go in here and it's like, mommy, I want this. So this is what I want you guys to do. I want you to be
• 2:41
  really big helpers, you know, Johnny, I want you to really help Sally, you know, while we're in there, we're going to pick out some, you tell them exactly what you want from them. What is this about? What do you want them to be doing during the whole time you're in the car or in the grocery store or whatever you're doing? The more clear you can be with your kids, those times tend to go really, really well. And so just, I like to call this the pregame talk because every single coach
• 3:07
  knows how this goes. And that is that if you sit down with your team and really talk about, hey, guys, this is what we're going to focus on during this game, your game is going to go way better if the entire team knows what success looks like, knows what exactly they're going to try to do to improve in that particular area. And so I cannot emphasize enough how valuable this is,
• 3:37
  things don't tend to go well, but it's an opportunity for you to experience the teamness of your family. So yeah, Jeff, how have you guys worked on this? Yeah, I absolutely love that. And I think one thing I would say is, I was thinking back to my high school years of baseball, I think it was high school or college year, one of my coaches,
• 3:53
  He was really big on like visualization. So he would always have us. It's kind of funny and like hippie like it sounds like, but we would literally have a sit in the baseball field, close our eyes, and then he would walk us through visualization exercises, just like visualize getting up to the plate, visualize hitting, visualize throwing a strike. What does that feel like? What does that look like? And I think that's a cousin of this, right? Where when you actually can picture what your future is going to look like and just kind of like, then you don't feel off base when you're in that scenario. You don't feel like you're.
• 4:16
  you know, imposter syndrome or that I haven't been here. I don't know what I'm doing. It's like you might, but you feel comfortable because you feel like you visualized it. And that's what we're trying to give to our kids, visualize what we're about to do and how it should go. And so, yeah, we have a, we, this is exactly what we do. And we're huge on this, where I kind of have a cue, I would say to the parents listening or the dads listening, have like a cue phrase. That's kind of just for this.
• 4:35
  So ours would be we say, stop, look and listen. And we trained them with that for a couple of months where it's like, I don't I don't say that anytime I need them to look or anytime I need that to listen. I kind of only save it when I really need their attention, like eye to eye. And when I'm about to like kind of say this is what we're about to do, like this is what I need from you. This we're about to do. I do it in the home. A really big place we do it is right when we get in the car and we get all buckled and I turn the car on, then we just pause and then I turn around and we have a little talk before we go somewhere.
• 4:59
  So you have, so like for us that stop, look and listen, the kids know like, oh, dad's about to kind of give us some serious information. I need to listen. I need to pay attention. And, uh, and I think something like that is really helpful. Like have that cue where you can get their full attention to kind of really unpack something of like, this is what it's going to be like.
• 5:15
  And I don't even use that for other situations. You know, I just say like, hey, you know, look at me or whatever There's different ways but specifically when I'm about to unpack a lot of information I usually say stop look and listen and they'll freeze they'll stop and they'll just look at my whatever they're doing And they'll just look and so I would say that'd be a helpful thing too And then yeah, just walk them through what you're about to do and then don't be afraid to actually reward them I think sometimes we have a weird
• 5:34
  conscience about rewarding our kids. Like we've talked about before of like, Oh, are we only training them to do it when they rewarded? Well, at some level, maybe sure. But it's like, we're as adults, do we not do things because we want to be rewarded or because we want to be blessed? Like no one does everything. I guess the ideal, maybe when you're 90, but no one does everything because we want like, you know,
• 5:51
  No one, none of us do anything because we're like non reward motivated. So yeah, that's what I would say is master that pregame talk. What does that look like? And like Jeremy said, look for those places where the game doesn't go well and then say, hey, let's have a specific talk. Let's get out the whiteboard. Let's draw the X and O's before that game and then see how it goes.
• 6:09
  Hey guys, can I just ask you a quick favor? If you could just pause real quick. Well, actually after I'm done with this, so it makes sense. And about for about 30 seconds and just rate and review this podcast. We can 10 X the number of dads we help through this content. If our podcast can be found by more dads. And one of the weird main things about this podcast game is that how they get ranked and how they get in front of other people essentially is because of how it gets rated and reviewed. So if you can just give a quick, honest rating and review, we would greatly, greatly appreciate it. Thanks guys.