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Bonus IMPROV - We Have a Perfect Record, Grand Canyon-Wise · Very Fine Friends

• 0:00
  welcome to very fine friends bonus improv yeah yeah joe can we get a suggestion please
• 0:27
  your suggestion is luckiest
• 0:31
  I've been very lucky
• 0:35
  great
• 0:36
  one time a car almost ran me over
• 0:39
  I know
• 0:41
  maybe next time
• 0:43
  I was walking across the street
• 0:47
  in downtown
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  old town Scottsdale
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  and I was going to get a car
• 0:53
  so I could pick someone up
• 0:54
  and it was my turn to walk
• 0:56
  and I was walking across the street and then a jeep came like barreling through the intersection
• 0:59
  to make a left like while I was walking and it missed me by probably inches whoa yeah but here's
• 1:06
  how existentially dead I am I just stood there and I know the audience won't say this but I was
• 1:11
  just like held up my hands like yeah I probably would do that too what are you doing and then I
• 1:17
  kept walking yeah but but later did it hit you that you're like whoa I could have died just then
• 1:22
  no i don't think i'm no and actually this made me think i'm someone who would never get ptsd
• 1:27
  like from like war stuff because i'm like i just accept whatever reality i'm in
• 1:32
  is that a good thing or to our friends to the u.s military and we know you're listening yeah
• 1:40
  no offense i'm not saying i'm stronger i'm just saying oh no i thought you meant i was like
• 1:46
  they're gonna recruit francis now they should you're the ultimate weapon yeah i'm fine i'm
• 1:52
  one of those people who can like,
• 1:54
  if it's like little stuff,
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  like I might like lose my mind,
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  but it's like big life-changing stuff.
• 2:01
  I'm like,
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  everything else doesn't exist.
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  And I'm like,
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  totally fine.
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  That's what,
• 2:05
  yeah,
• 2:05
  I was going to say,
• 2:06
  that seems funny to me.
• 2:07
  You say it's like you accept whatever you seem like you get angry about
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  little shit all the time,
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  the little shit,
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  but the big shits,
• 2:17
  you roll with that.
• 2:19
  Yeah.
• 2:20
  I roll with the big shits.
• 2:22
  you feel lucky you got a lucky story nothing in particular i don feel unlucky you not unlucky i happy so i guess that makes me lucky Wow You just said quote I happy
• 2:37
  Unquote.
• 2:38
  Yeah.
• 2:39
  That's beautiful.
• 2:40
  Thank you.
• 2:41
  And now, improv.
• 2:48
  All right.
• 2:49
  So, cool.
• 2:51
  You, uh, is your first day here?
• 2:54
  Hmm.
• 2:54
  at lucky r us yeah um thanks i'm telling you this is uh i'm just gonna teach you the basics
• 3:05
  all right i don't think i need it but go ahead so uh first up first things first
• 3:10
  hop in my car we're gonna go drive around and almost hit a bunch of pedestrians
• 3:16
  uh oh is there more to that nope nope it's just a fun easy way to get people to feel lucky to be
• 3:27
  alive and uh they don't know that we're doing it on purpose so they think whoa i'm real lucky
• 3:34
  i i mean that sounds interesting but i'm aren't you ever concerned that you
• 3:38
  what if you have an accident you actually hit them well then our services are not for them
• 3:44
  they're unlucky i won't lie to you it's happened
• 3:49
  seven times lucky number seven times okay um sorry i i don't mean to i really need this job
• 4:00
  okay go on please yes so uh we're gonna start there that's pretty basic we'll start you off
• 4:06
  there okay um then maybe if you're real lucky uh you can graduate to grand canyon duty what's that
• 4:16
  that's where we put we hide little rocks and stuff in the ground near the edge and then we stand near
• 4:27
  the edge waiting for someone to come by and trip and then we catch him and go whoa and then they
• 4:32
  feel like oh oh my god i almost just fell off the grand canyon that's horrifying what if they
• 4:36
  actually fall that's actually never happened thank goodness oh god thank thank goodness not
• 4:41
  because of us those some bitches over at luck luck luck they worked for a while they were
• 4:50
  working the same corner the grand canyon as us and i saw them drop a bunch of people
• 4:57
  but not us we have a perfect record grand canyon wise uh okay this might be a dumb question i hope it okay to ask No hey no wrong questions Just ask them
• 5:09
  That's what I'm here for.
• 5:11
  Who's funding this operation?
• 5:14
  The Lottery Commission.
• 5:17
  That makes sense.
• 5:19
  People feel like, oh.
• 5:20
  Oh, and then they feel lucky and they go buy tickets.
• 5:22
  They go buy tickets.
• 5:23
  Oh, that's brilliant.
• 5:26
  I gotta be honest.
• 5:26
  When you first started talking,
• 5:27
  I was thinking, like, this is crazy,
• 5:29
  but hey you're you're the one that applied man what did you think i need a job yeah times are
• 5:34
  tough i'm watering down my milk anyway um well this sounds great i think i can do this yeah
• 5:42
  all right i don't know i i don't normally do this put me in coach with trainees but you seem like
• 5:50
  you gotta you're gonna have a knack for this oh i'm hungry for milk let's do this all right i'm
• 5:56
  I'm going to let you take us out on our first mission of the day.
• 6:01
  Thank you, sir.
• 6:03
  Cut to the first mission.
• 6:05
  Okay.
• 6:07
  Mirrors are good.
• 6:09
  Seatbelts are on.
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  Let's go make people lucky.
• 6:14
  You're doing great.
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  Okay.
• 6:17
  All right.
• 6:17
  Oh, here come some pedestrians.
• 6:19
  All right.
• 6:20
  I'm going to do a quick serve.
• 6:21
  oh my god that was so close oh i can still fix this i can fix this ma'am you're so lucky you
• 6:33
  could have been killed my legs i'm going we're going now buy a lottery ticket
• 6:39
  um i felt like a b plus um robert i'm gonna be honest with you
• 6:51
  that was a d minus no mr cowlick uh yeah yeah if you're gonna if you're gonna hit him kill him
• 7:02
  don't mangle him well i thought we could salvage it because she's
• 7:06
  she was still lucky it could have been worse
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  she's living without legs now
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  okay
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  just give me one more chance
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  you didn't know it that lady was an Olympic
• 7:19
  runner
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  okay well now she can relax
• 7:22
  she got the silver medal
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  at the Olympics and she's been feeling unlucky
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  ever since
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  so we were supposed to help make her feel a little bit luckier
• 7:30
  you have a list oh yeah this is we got a list these aren random Nope nope Lottery Commission funds most of our work We get individual requests Is this government related
• 7:42
  This feels very shady.
• 7:44
  Don't...
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  Don't...
• 7:45
  You worry your pretty little head about this, Robert.
• 7:48
  How much the government is involved.
• 7:50
  Mr. Kellick, I'm begging you.
• 7:52
  Take me on one last mission.
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  I can prove to you I can do this.
• 7:56
  All right, but...
• 7:59
  You know, as they say,
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  two strikes and you're out.
• 8:02
  that's the old saying that's not very lucky yep well all right i'm gonna let you pick what the
• 8:09
  next mission is okay i pick don't don't don't tell me son oh just show me okay luck luck works
• 8:18
  best when it's spontaneous okay all right
• 8:22
  maryanne lewis in apartment 9c coming okay hang on thank you just watering my pot of four-leaf
• 8:39
  clovers i'm out here waiting oh oops some salt wait sorry i'll be there in a second i just have
• 8:47
  to throw it over my shoulder no problem god bless you oh wait sorry hang on i i just gotta
• 8:56
  go by all my my i'm sorry my horseshoes are all over the ground i gotta step around them
• 9:03
  my lucky horseshoes okay oh hi yeah oh hi yes i'm marianne bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang
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  Bang bang bang bang bang bang
• 9:14
  Click
• 9:15
  Oh no
• 9:20
  Oh no
• 9:21
  Mariel Lewis
• 9:23
  Get in my arms
• 9:25
  I was supposed to miss you
• 9:29
  This was the Pulp Fiction challenge
• 9:30
  It was supposed to be
• 9:33
  Bullets all around you and your shape
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  But damn I'm a good shot
• 9:36
  It's all
• 9:38
  Oh my god it's
• 9:40
  Seven bullets stacked one on top of the other
• 9:42
  you hit over and over in the same spot.
• 9:45
  I gotta buy a lottery ticket.
• 9:48
  My work here is done.
• 9:52
  All right, see you.