Latest / The Father's Business Podcast / Free To Be You Intro

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Free To Be You Intro · The Father's Business Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Well, if you haven't heard, we have a conference coming up in October.
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: It's the Ruach Journey Level 2 Conference and we really hope you'll be able to join us.
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: It's October 16th through 18th in Maryland.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: You can check out the details on our website at thefathersbusinesscom backslash events or if you just go to the main website, there's a button up there with events listed and you can pull that up.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: We have an early bird registration deadline coming up soon.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: July 20th is our early bird deadline.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: The price for the early bird deadline is $3.99.
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: Don't miss out on that.
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: It's going to be awesome.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: After July 20th the price goes up to $4.50.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: We welcome you to sign up through September 9th.
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: Again, the event is October 16th through 18th in Maryland.
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: It's going to be a gorgeous location.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: We'd love to have you join us.
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: Elizabeth, would you mind telling people real quick what the conference is about and how to be prepared?
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: This conference is for people who have begun the journey to understand spirit, soul and body and how God has designed them to live with Him Father, son and Holy Spirit and they want more.
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: They want more understanding, they want more community with other people.
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: They want more of what we have been offering through Ruroc Journey.
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: There's several ways you can get yourself prepared.
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: You can purchase our study online the Ruroc Journey study and go through it as an individual or a group.
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: We have released a series of podcasts last fall that you can listen through to get the basic content of the Ruach Journey Conference.
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: There are books on our website.
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: You Are Blessed in the Names of God and Free to Be.
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: You are two key ones for understanding spirit, soul and body and the way that God has designed you.
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: So we're going to help anyone who is hungry and wants to come to this event.
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: We are going to be there to coach you along and make sure that you feel prepared for October.
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: So I just want to encourage you to check it out and go ahead and sign up.
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: The Father's Business was founded by Sylvia Gunter to encourage people to a deeper relationship with God.
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: I'm Elizabeth Gunter Powell.
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: And I am Kimberly Roddy.
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Father's Business podcast.
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: We are so glad that you've joined us.
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: Welcome everyone to our podcast.
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: We are kicking off a new series based on the book Free to Be you that is available on our website at thefathersbusinesscom.
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: It is a time for us to understand how God has designed us and the uniqueness of each of us as we each inhabit one of the gifts that are mentioned in Romans 12.
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: What I love most about this study is when I first started digging in and really learning this.
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: Oh, my goodness, it was I'm showing my age here now.
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: About 20 years ago, I finally felt like someone understood me, and I just remember, as I was listening to the teaching on my particular gift, I just kept going I'm normal, I'm normal, I'm normal.
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: I'm normal Because, unfortunately, what we all do is we see the world through the lens of our gift and we think everyone else should be like us, and so when someone acts from a different motivation or comes from a different place, I had had a lot of people in my life trying to fix me or tell me that I needed to be different than I was, and it was so validating to understand that I am the way I am because this is the way God has designed me and I was able to see the beauty of who God is flowing through me.
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: So, kimberly, I am super excited about this study, and so today's session is just kind of some basic groundwork information that we're going to talk a little bit about the background of where we find these in the Bible and also the basics of the different gifts, and then over the next seven weeks we are going to have interviews with some of our leadership team and some friends of ours that have each of the different gifts, so you can hear in their voice what they love about their gift, what they struggle with with their gift, what they wish people understood about them, so that we can all come into a deeper place of understanding as the body of Christ.
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: Elizabeth, you mentioned that the spiritual gifts study is session eight in the Ruach Journey.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: If they want to check out that on our podcast, that would have been November 16th of 2023.
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: It's season four, episode nine.
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: We did a panel discussion that day, but the first part of that podcast is us discussing this a little bit more, so if you want more, you can listen to that as well.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: Also, after we do our interviews at the end of this series, we're going to do a wrap up where we talk about some of the comparisons of maybe you're not sure which gift you are, or you see some of this in you and some of this.
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: You can get confused between some of the gifts, so we'll do a comparison and talk about that at the end.
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: So be sure to check out that episode in a couple of weeks too.
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: When I think about spiritual gifts and the relationship with the Lord and how he's designed us, like you said, elizabeth, that idea of just going, oh, like I feel so seen and understood and not crazy, right?
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: Yes, seen and understood and not crazy, right?
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: I think it's that idea that we're fearfully and wonderfully made like we talk about.
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: We're His masterpieces, and so the idea of flourishing and living that abundant, full life that Jesus calls us to live.
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: Part of that is knowing our design.
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: This conversation is not about labels.
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: It's more of an invitation to awaken in you what God has put inside of you so that you can live in the freedom that God has given you.
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: And so there are three places in Scripture and where we pull our teaching from is Romans 12.
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: But the other two places in 1 Corinthians 12, where there's a list of gifts there and these are called often the manifestation gifts.
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: These are gifts that are given to all believers by the Holy Spirit and you can have several of these gifts, and these gifts are given at different times.
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: It's faith, healing, miracles, tongues, interpretation of tongues.
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: So in verse 7, in 1 Corinthians verse 7, you'll see that word manifestation, which talks about exhibiting, expressing, manifesting.
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: So those are manifestation gifts.
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: In Ephesians 4, we see a list of offices.
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: So these are offices.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: Sometimes people call these gifts, but these are more offices that are given by God to actually help us build up and lead the church.
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: We see specifically in verse 7, the word grace there, which is an office given, a grace given, and in verse 12, the Greek word used has the idea of for the work of service.
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: So that's how we understand that.
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: Those are offices.
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: But in Romans 12, these are where we talk about the motivational gifts.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: So, elizabeth, why don't you touch on that passage a little bit?
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, romans 12 is a unique list of gifts and the Greek word used for gift.
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: There is also where we get the word charisma, kind of that.
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: It's more the why you do what you do than the what you do.
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: What you do and where it can sometimes get confusing is like in the list in Romans 12, it talks about the gift of teacher, but then also, teacher is one of the offices in Ephesians 4.
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: And so there's the why and there's the what, and so what we're going to focus in on Romans 12 is the why you do what you do.
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: What is the viewpoint that you use to view the world?
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: And as we go through each of these seven gifts, we each have a different motivation.
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: We each have a different viewpoint that we operate from, and that's honestly where conflict comes in and this is why I love doing this with you, kimberly, because you can help us talk about conflict resolution is, I have a certain set of values and a view of how I think the world should be.
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: Another gift has a different set of values and the way that things should be, and where our arguments come in is it's a clash of those values and when we can start to understand.
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: Oh, we're just looking at the same thing from two very different perspectives, and it's not I'm wrong and you're right, it's, we just have a different outlook on the same thing or we have a different approach to solving the same problem.
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: It also takes it away from it being personal.
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: There's a lot of layers to this that we want to peel back as we go through these gifts, and I'm so excited that we're doing this, and what I want us all to do as we start walking through this journey is put aside, your what, or your do what you do or what you enjoy doing.
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: And really, let's think about the why.
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: Okay, because there's a lot of people that when they're like, oh, if we're talking about gifts, well, I'm an exhorter because I love encouraging people Well, a lot of the gifts enjoy encouraging people and encourage people, but it's from what motivation do you encourage someone?
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: Or oftentimes people say, well, I know, I'm a teacher gift because I lead a Bible study.
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: Well, there's a lot of different gifts that are really good at teaching, but they teach it from their own inner motivation and their own design.
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: And so we need to kind of push back what you've done and also I would invite you to kind of put off to the side any other spiritual inventory you've done in the past through your church or ministry, because oftentimes those tests are designed to figure out OK, where can we plug you in to be a part of this body of Christ?
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: So they're looking for strengths and weaknesses and different aspects of who you are, to see where they can plug you into what you can do for the ministry or the church.
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: Nothing wrong with that, but that's a very different question than what we're asking.
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: And the other thing I want you to keep in mind is your family of origin and the messages that you've been told all your life.
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: Because, as you're going to hear through some of our interviews and as we go through these teachings, some of us have been told that who we are is wrong.
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: I heard that a lot.
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: I'll go ahead and let you know I'm a prophet gift.
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: It's a very strong gift, it's a very leadership-oriented gift and that is not necessarily always accepted as a female in the body of Christ and I, and even in amongst family and friends, because I can be so bold and so strong.
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: I heard a lot.
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: It's not ladylike for you to be so strong.
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: It's not.
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: You know, you need to be nice, you need to.
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: You know you need to be more.
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: Especially, growing up in the South, I need to be more Southern, and so people were trying to diminish what God has placed in me and not allowing me to do that.
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: Another common one is when we get to mercy, a very tender gift.
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: I have several men who have told me I rejected being a mercy gift at first because they've been told that they need to toughen up their whole life and real men aren't tenderhearted.
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: So we need to kind of push back the messages and push back our activity to get down to the core of what did God breathe into you when he created you?
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: So, as we get started, I know a big temptation is to hear a description of a gift and immediately run and go tell someone what their gift is.
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: So, kimberly, we have a couple of rules that we like to let people understand as we get started Guidelines, I should say, not rules that we want everyone to agree to abide by as we go through these gifts.
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: Why don't you go ahead and share those with us?
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, if you're driving or listening to us right now, put your left hand on the steering wheel and raise your right hand with me to promise that you will abide by these guidelines.
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: They are really important and I say that jokingly, but they are, they're really important.
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: So, first, we don't want to weaponize the gift, any of the gifts we don't want to.
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: Well, because you're such a prophet, elizabeth, of course you get to be blunt over there and I can't believe you would do that, like you know, just that use it against you, like you were just talking about with the prophet gift as an example.
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: The second one is don't tell someone what gift you think they are Like.
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: This is such a neat process, it's such a God process to allow the Holy Spirit to reveal that gift to you.
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: I think it's fine to have healthy dialogue and conversations and ask people that know you well what they see in you, but don't tell someone else what gift you think they are, because that's been done a lot and we can take that and we can assume that identity and then never really take it to the Lord and motivations are under the surface, so we can't judge that by the actions.
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: The third guideline is don't use someone's gift to manipulate or exploit them.
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: So I don't get to say to my mom, who's a mercy well, I don't really have the gift of mercy, but you do so would you step in and help this person over here who's crying Because I don't know what to do?
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: That would be exploiting her, manipulating her, taking advantage of that gift.
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: And the truth is is that there is a piece of all seven gifts in us as believers, and so we need to step into those gifts where God calls us.
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: And then the fourth one, final one, is don't use the gifts to justify your bad behavior or your sin.
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: So I don't get to walk around and just say, well, you know what, I may be wishy-washy and not make decisions really well, but I'm a giver and so you just have to get over it.
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: Right, like sorry, that's not okay, like I have to recognize the effects that that has.
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: And so in speaking of that also, when we talk about the gifts, we're talking about them in a fairly average to healthy space.
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: The reality is that these gifts can you can have people that have very immature aspects of this gift, right, and when we are acting unhealthy, we are immature in our gifts and we are on more of a negative side of the spectrum there.
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: And so when we look at the whole context of Romans 12, before we get to the list of these gifts, we see Paul saying I appeal to you, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual act of worship.
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: He says don't be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may be able to test and discern what the will of God, what is good and perfect and acceptable will, is.
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: He goes on to say for, by the grace given to me, I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has given you.
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: And then he goes on to talk about for in one body we have many members, and that's where he kind of gets into the spiritual gifts there.
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: But I think that context has to start us off.
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: These gifts, like you said, elizabeth, they are motivations, they are under the surface gifts that God has designed us with and created us with, and if we do not treat them as if we are submitting them to the Lord through spiritual acts of worship, and we are handling them with great humility and recognizing ourselves in light of who God is and in light of the relationship of the body, then we are going to be out of line and we're going to show up with a use of the gift that can be hurtful and harmful, and so you may have a reaction to some of these gifts because you've had someone in your life that didn't handle their gift well, and so we want to encourage you to really also listen to this teaching with an open ear, an open heart, open eyes, to see and to hear that there is a design that's meant to be handled and utilized well through the Spirit, and so, as we talk about these, that's the lens through which we're coming from.
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: And also, as we go through these, you're going to hear aspects of all of them that you're like well, that sounds like me and that sounds like me, and there are lots of reasons for that.
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: Some of that may be your occupation, some of that may be also.
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: You're going to have a lot of the elements of whatever gift your parents or mentors or people who have had a strong influence over your life because we raise our children or we mentor and disciple people from our viewpoint right.
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: So I'm going to do it in a very much a prophet way, and so people that I've had an influence on may feel like, wow, yeah, I resonate with some of that prophet that they're talking about there.
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: But here's the other thing is, god is all seven of the gifts and we have God's spirit inside of us.
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: So hopefully, as we continue to mature and become more like him, you're going to see reflections of all seven of the gifts in yourself, and so I like to think of the gifts in Romans 12 as like light going through a prism, because it talks about how God is light.
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: Several places in the Bible and in Revelation it talks about the seven spirits of the Lord that are around the throne, and so God is prophet, servant, teacher, exhorter, giver, ruler and mercy, and so we have access to all seven of the gifts and we're going to see ourselves, as we become more like him, displaying that.
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: But when you really get down to the core, there is going to be one that is more dominant, because we believe that you are given one gift as kind of your motivational gift, so that as the body of Christ, we have people with all seven gifts that we can interact with, but then, layered on top of that in your spirit, as it's connected to God's spirit, you have all seven.
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: So that's why it's also important to listen to all seven, not check out.
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: Once you kind of discover what you think your gift is, so that you can see the reflection of God in you in all seven of the gifts.
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: So as we jump in to talking about the gifts, we, like Elizabeth just said, we want to encourage you to listen to what your father is saying to you.
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: It may take a while to sort it out, but you'll get there.
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: And so let's start by talking about the prophet gift.
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: A couple of key aspects of the profit gift is leadership.
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: The word leadership is key for a profit gift.
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: They lead even when they're not supposed to lead.
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: Sometimes it's like breathing to them Profits.
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: Do it without thinking about it, they initiate and they take the lead.
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: They're also very fast processors Even I think about.
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: Elizabeth said she was a prophet even sometimes.
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: Like she'll say when we're somewhere, let's eat.
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: Like a prophet, like we gotta, we gotta go fast and I'm like let's just not go so fast.
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: But they not only do they like to run through things with a rapid pace, but they also process things pretty quickly.
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: They can assess a situation quickly.
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: They can make decisions, they can jump to conclusions, which can be good and bad right, and they often feel like they want people to catch up to where they are in a conversation.
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: They're all about efficiency.
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: They're also big visionaries and they have big ideas.
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: They are always thinking about how to do things different and better.
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: They have a fountain of ideas, a constant flow of new ideas.
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: And then another aspect is they really need time alone.
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: They enjoy time alone.
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: They need downtime.
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: No people, no phone, no email.
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: They need to be able to unplug and recharge.
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: Elizabeth, what would you add to that?
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: Combine all those together.
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: Because of time is so important to the profit gift, I always need to know what time it is.
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: Even if I wake up in the middle of the night and I know it's dark and I'm going back to sleep, I need to know what time it is then before I go back to sleep.
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: It's just time is always ticking in my head, because time is such a valuable resource to the profit gift, and I think that's why we want to be efficient is because we can get more done.
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: And we want to get more done because we have more ideas.
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: Like I have two projects going on right now and I want to get them finished because there's something else that I could be doing.
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: Like you know, there's always this idea of, and in some ways it drives me crazy because just going into either an event or a store, I mean, my brain is always thinking of well, you know, if they rearrange the checkout counter and did this, this and this and this differently, everyone could get checked out faster.
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: And so it's very easy for us prophets to fall into critical judgment and very quickly to shoot those words out of our mouth before we think about it, because we are processing so fast, and so in some ways I do need the other gifts around me Kimberly, you and others to tell me to take a breath and to take a moment, and there's a lot of times I shoot out an answer and then five minutes later it's like man.
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: I wish I'd take a little more time to process that before I just blurted that out.
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: But the problem is is, once you do, you can't take it back, but very fiercely independent and oftentimes can seem like to others that they don't need people.
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: We do, but as you said, kimberly, we also need that time alone.
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: We also have a compulsion to be honest.
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: Everything is very black and white, right and wrong, without the grace of Jesus mixed in there, and we have a compulsion to be honest and speak what we think is true about every situation, and sometimes people don't ask for our opinions about those situations, and yet we do, and so oftentimes our words and actions can come off a little stronger than they need to.
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: So there's a lot more about the prophet than just that, but we're just trying to give you a taste of each of these gifts, and so definitely go read in Free to Be you, or go back to the Journey Study to do more.
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: So, kimberly, let's move on to the servant gift.
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: The servant gift is one, elizabeth, where I think a lot of times this gift is assumed of a lot of people that may not really have this gift.
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: I have worked in the church the majority of my vocational career life and I have seen a lot of people think that they are servants and this is true of the teacher gift as well.
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: But a lot of people think that they are a servant gift because we're told to be servants.
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: To follow Christ is to be a servant, right, and so it can take some time to really look at this gift and say is this the true motivation gift that God's designed me with?
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: And servants, they struggle to affirm themselves and receive affirmation because they also like to be behind the scenes.
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: They enjoy being behind the scenes to stay behind the scenes and empower others.
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: They find that actually very life-giving.
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: So it could be sometimes that you have chosen the role of a servant but you don't actually enjoy that.
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: You're just doing it because you know you're supposed to.
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: That could be a key indicator there to distinguish between.
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: They are excellent leaders just in their own way.
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and that is a very key distinction there, because I mean, as you're talking about that, kimberly, something popped up in my head.
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: I remember once and this was years ago but I was invited to a leadership conference that was predominantly male, but I was invited and allowed to come.
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: But the only way I was allowed to come is if I also helped serve coffee at breaks.
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: And so I served.
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: I served two to three hundred people coffee at every break.
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: I did it with excellence, I did it with a smile on my face.
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: But did that bring me joy?
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: Did that give me an internal drive to be there?
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: No, it was a place to hide behind, and I think there are a lot of strong women out there who have been a part of church culture throughout the years and we've had to kind of take on the servant role for us to be legitimized in the church, which is sad to me.
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: But a true servant is a beautiful thing and I don't want anyone to hear that we're saying servants aren't leaders.
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: They are't leaders, they are incredible leaders.
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: They just go about it a different way.
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: It is typically behind the scenes, it is coming alongside others, empowering them, encouraging them.
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: They are great teammates to have, for whoever is the upfront person, they become your safe place.
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: They become the one who speaks wisdom into your life, who prays for you.
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: There's a lot of great ways that they serve and lead without being the one on the microphone.
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: Now, as they grow and mature, god calls them out and says no, I don't want you just to hide behind the seeds.
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: I do have a place for you.
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: But they're very good at seeing the external needs of others.
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: They sense in a room who is thirsty, who might be hungry, is the room too hot?
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: Is it too cold?
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: They are kind of like with prophets just lead without thinking about it.
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: They just serve without doing it.
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: They go around and they'll pick up plates without being asked to do so, and sometimes they try to clean up before you're ready to have them clean up.
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: So that can be a pitfall for them as well.
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: But they're very task oriented.
• 24:15
  Speaker 2: The servants that I've had on teams with me.
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: If I paint a big vision for them of this is where we're going, I mean they're interested in that, great.
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: But what they want to know is OK, what are the practical tasks that I can do to help you achieve that vision?
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: And so they like, being given a task and knowing that they can go and complete that task the way they want to.
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: But they also have great authority, and not all people listening to this who may be identifying a servant gift they're like well, no, I don't you do.
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: As a servant gift, you have an amazing authority, and I believe this is just my opinion.
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: I don't really have a place to point to you in scripture, but I believe because a servant gift doesn't want to build their own kingdom, a servant isn't looking to make a name for themselves.
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: They much rather not get the credit and the glory for whatever they're doing behind the scenes.
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: I believe God gives them a unique place, a unique level of authority, because they're not seeking it, and I have seen the way that through prayer, through just their presence, they have been able to change the atmosphere of a place.
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: They have been able to invite the glory of God to be with us in a meeting.
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: There are so many ways that they are able to bring forth the authority of God into a situation without seeking any glory or credit for themselves.
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: They are incredibly hard workers.
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: They often have a hard time saying no, because if you say we have this need that, just like a prophet wants to lead, a servant wants to help meet needs in others.
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: Mature servant, under the control of the Holy Spirit, will learn to ask is this mine?
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: An immature servant will often be taken advantage of because everyone knows well, if you ask her or him to do it, they'll say yes.
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: And so you have to be very careful with the servants in your life that you don't manipulate them in that way.
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: Knowing that they're happy to meet a need, so you constantly go to them and ask them to meet needs.
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: So our next gift is the teacher gift and again, just, it's similar to the servant gift, but even more so than that.
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: I think people can often tend to think that they are this gift because of what they do.
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: Just because you teach Sunday school, you teach a Bible study, you're an educator, whatever.
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: That doesn't mean that you necessarily have the gift of teacher.
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: So you have to get beyond what you do to who you are, how you do it.
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: So sometimes it can take a teacher gift longer to confirm that they are actually a teacher.
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: But some of the key characteristics of a teacher is their love of learning.
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: They love to learn, they love to go deep, they're always searching for more details, constantly on the search for new information, and they want the truth.
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: And they want the truth validated right, like when they learn about something new, they want to do their own research and they want to make sure that they can validate it for themselves.
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: So the very truth-driven truth is like their watchword.
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: They're also very methodical.
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: They're attentive to details.
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: They like ideas presented to them in a systematic and thorough fashion.
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: They prefer for things to be planned in advance, not real into spontaneity.
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: They're also very analytical.
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: They process slowly, very slowly.
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: I remember one of the ladies that we talked to several years ago would talk about the light bulbs that are slow to come on these days and how that's like a teacher.
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: They're slow to get there, but when they get there they are bright and full of ideas and a wealth of information and knowledge.
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: And so sometimes in a group setting the teacher has to sit back a little bit and listen to what others are saying and process those ideas before they speak.
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: But that doesn't mean that God's not stirring up something in there.
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: So that also means they're usually the last to speak in a group.
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: But again, when they do, it is usually with wisdom, because they have listened and they have observed.
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: Elizabeth, your dad, you lived with a teacher gift.
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: Oh, yes, I did we talked a lot about this, a lot just even from our own personal friendship.
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: I've heard you share lots of stories of your dad helping you buy things.
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: Oh, yes, so you probably have some things to add that stand out to you about the teacher gift.
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: Absolutely, and I was thinking, you know there's a lot of ways that profit gifts and teacher gifts are similar because we both value truth and I'm not saying the five other gifts don't but truth is a driving force.
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: Like it's black and white, right, wrong, lines up with scripture, does not line up with scripture a lot of the times, with both prophet and teacher gifts.
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: But the rate at which I synthesize and process information versus the rate at which a teacher does it is two different things and that is not to say one is right or one is wrong.
• 28:55
  Speaker 2: A lot of times that teacher gift is the anchor that us faster processors need to slow down to really think about it, because, as a prophet, someone can say well, we've never done it this way before.
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: I'd be like great, let's try it.
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: Where a teacher will take the time to really think through, is this a good idea?
• 29:13
  Speaker 2: So here's where the conflict would happen between me and my dad is I've already done all my own research, come to my own conclusion, whatever, and I come to him with the conclusion and say this is what I think I should do.
• 29:26
  Speaker 2: Well, that's not where I need to start with him.
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: I need to start at A, not Z with him and let him walk step by step, line by line, precept by precept, as some people say, to get to from A to Z with me.
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: But before I understood the gifts and understood that about him, I would present him with a conclusion and he would start asking questions the why question rules the day with the teacher oh, my goodness, a teacher can ask more why questions than any other gift I know.
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: And when he would start asking questions about the decision I had made, I internalized that as he doesn't think I know how to make a decision, he thinks I'm stupid.
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: And in his mind he's thinking, wow, she's really rash and she's moving too fast.
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: And has she really thought all this through?
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: And a beautiful thing happened as we began to understand each other's gifts that my dad added this phrase to his vocabulary and I loved him for it.
• 30:24
  Speaker 2: He would say you've probably already thought about this but, and then he would ask me all of his questions and that's so diffused in my mind that I'm like, okay, my dad just needs more information than what I'm giving him and I need to slow down and let him catch up with where I am.
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: And so I think a lot of times our teacher friends and our family members who are teachers.
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: I've heard them tell us.
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: We hear your frustration with our questions, we hear the heavy sighs when we're asking for more information than what you've given us.
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: And it is so honoring to them where just as I don't want to be felt like treated as if I'm stupid that we also honor the fact that they need more time to process through things.
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: But I agree with you, kimberly, my dad and other teachers I know you're in a group meeting and everyone's throwing out ideas and everyone's talking about things.
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: They won't say one word and that can be interpreted as they're not interested, they're not tuned in, they're not listening.
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: But then at the very end of the meeting and sometimes you have to ask them for it they won't give their opinion.
• 31:35
  Speaker 2: But if you turn to them and say you know, john, what do you think?
• 31:39
  Speaker 2: There comes out this wisdom from them, where they have synthesized everything that everyone has thought about and probably three other things that none of us in the group have thought about, and there's a wisdom to the teacher.
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: As they take the time to process slowly, they don't want to tell other people what to do, they want to kind of lay out some information and hopefully you learn and grow, because, just like they like to learn from their own firsthand knowledge, they want you to do the same.
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: So it is a beautiful gift.
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: But of the gifts this, as you said, kimberly this one.
• 32:14
  Speaker 2: It may take a little longer for you to land on teacher, because you're looking for one more piece of evidence to prove that this is who you really are, of evidence to prove that this is who you really are, and at some point you're just going to have to get with God and be like God.
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: I need you just to speak to me and allow me to trust that this is who I am.
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: Elizabeth, you mentioned that in a group setting they may not speak a lot because they're processing and synthesizing and thinking, and then when they do speak, it may be wisdom.
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: But I also think that maybe in some group settings they're the person asking all the questions.
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, they can do that too.
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: Because they do like to like you said that.
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: Why is their favorite question?
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: So, if they're bold enough and comfortable enough in a setting they're like well, tell me more about that.
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: Or I'd like to ask this question.
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: And so sometimes I think we can see our teachers speaking up, but it would be more in that question format, not necessarily in that offering opinion.
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, just to clarify.
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: Totally, and I think sometimes other gifts see those questions as a lack of faith.
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: And it's not.
• 33:15
  Speaker 2: So I love the teacher gift.
• 33:17
  Speaker 2: I mean it was designed to grind and I mean I didn't understand the gift until I was in my 30s.
• 33:22
  Speaker 2: So you can imagine 30 years of me and my dad kind of butting heads about things.
• 33:26
  Speaker 2: But once you get to appreciate the gift, it is delightful.
• 33:31
  Speaker 2: So let's move on to the exhorter gift and, as I kind of said in the intro, this is one that people often they're like oh well, I like to encourage people, so I'm an exhorter.
• 33:41
  Speaker 2: We all love encouraging people.
• 33:43
  Speaker 2: Kimberly, you're a giver gift.
• 33:45
  Speaker 2: You love to exhort people on to more of who God wants them to be.
• 33:50
  Speaker 2: I live to do that for people, but it looks very different than it does in the exhorter gift, wouldn't you say Absolutely, absolutely.
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: These people are like life is a big stage.
• 34:04
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: They have big dreams, big ideas.
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: Their ability to love people Like I think I love people.
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: I'm very generational oriented, as we'll talk about in a minute with the giver gift, but their ability to love people is like they make the person right in front of them feel like their new best friend at the moment.
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: They know how to get to the heart of a person really quickly.
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: They bring a lot of life and laughter to situations and that's pretty powerful too.
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: They love to, like I said, they love to meet new people.
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: Sometimes they're like that butterfly in the room that goes around meeting everyone so that, like where we said, the watchword for the teacher is truth, the watchword for the exhorter is relationships, relationships, relationships.
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: People are drawn to the exhorter, they're approachable, but that whole idea of a room of people is a playground to them because that brings them a zest for life.
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: Something else that's important about an exhorter is when they communicate to others.
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: They use stories, which is going to be really different than some of the other gifts.
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: They share stories because that's how they share their wisdom, so they love telling stories.
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: Again, that's relational right.
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: If they're watchwords relationships then that makes sense.
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: They're huge networkers and natural communicators.
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: They can connect other people, they enjoy leading a team and they're comfortable with upfront leadership roles.
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: In the communication aspect of people connect and are drawn to them easily.
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: One of the other things that I think is important to recognize about Exhorters is how busy they are.
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: Their schedule is always full.
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: They are often going from one thing to the next, which also means that they sometimes have a lack of discipline of time.
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: They can often be late for the next appointment because they may not know how or when to stop their previous conversation because they are concerned about the person in front of them.
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: They can be perceived by others as being superficial because they're funny and they're full of life, but they're pretty deep when you sit down and get to know them.
• 36:12
  Speaker 2: You know, kimberly, we have an exhorter friend who has told us that she had a season where her friends kept telling her you're doing too much and your life is too busy, and so she tried slowing her life down and she was miserable.
• 36:26
  Speaker 2: And I was like that again is just that thing where we don't understand the internal motivation, we just see the outward actions.
• 36:33
  Speaker 2: But if I tried to live my life at the pace of an exhorter, I would be exhausted, and that really is part of my story.
• 36:40
  Speaker 2: In my early 20s I was on a ministry team with two exhorters and a few other gifts.
• 36:46
  Speaker 2: But everyone looked to the exhorters on the team as the model of wonderful Christianity, right, because they're always talking to people and they're always sharing who God is with people and they're always go, go, go and always happy and excited.
• 37:00
  Speaker 2: And so I thought, well, that's what it means to be in full-time ministry.
• 37:03
  Speaker 2: Because also, one of the main mentors in my life when I started out in ministry is also an exhorter gift.
• 37:11
  Speaker 2: So I was like, oh well, this is what it means to be in ministry.
• 37:12
  Speaker 2: And I just remember being exhausted all the time and I was like I can't do this because I am more of an introverted person and profit gifts in general, need to have that time alone, and so I loved when I started to discover you know what Jesus did love people, but he also slipped away and spent time with his father.
• 37:32
  Speaker 2: So one of the other things I love about the exhorter gift is their ability to connect with all kinds of people, like it doesn't matter if you're talking to a head of state or just someone, an average person on the street.
• 37:44
  Speaker 2: They have ability to connect with people and, as you mentioned, they can make you feel like their best friend in the moment, and so I think sometimes some pain can, unintentional pain can happen, that everyone thinks you're their best friend and you are for that moment, and then you move on to someone else and it can feel superficial, like you were talking about Kimberly.
• 38:06
  Speaker 2: But they are beautiful at connecting with people and that's, I think, part of what makes them such great communicators is, even from the stage, you feel connected to them as a person, and so I love listening to exhorters teach.
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: So again, here's another example of exhorter gift, but great at teaching.
• 38:25
  Speaker 2: So we have to look at the motivational gift versus what we do part of it.
• 38:30
  Speaker 2: Moving on to the next gift is close and dear to your heart, gipperly, as you are a giver gift.
• 38:36
  Speaker 2: And as we start this, I just want to make the clarification that giver doesn't mean only generous and giving away money just like teacher doesn't mean I teach Bible studies.
• 38:48
  Speaker 2: So, kimberly, share with us a little bit about your story of how you figured out that you were a giver of gifts and what does it mean to be a giver?
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: Well, my dear friend Elizabeth broke one of our rules and told me what gift she thought I was and even sent me an email that had, like all the characteristic listed that she, you know, color coded the ones she thought I was, or whatever, back.
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: This was many, many years ago, many years ago.
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: We've been friends for a long time and I did resonate with a lot of that.
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: Like you told me, you thought I was a prophet and I resonate with a lot of the prophet gift.
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: Growing up I was exposed to the teaching on the gifts when I was in high school and I remember kind of resonating with that ruler gift a little bit, just because I have some natural like administrative gifts or whatever.
• 39:32
  Speaker 1: But again, those are some things that I just do.
• 39:35
  Speaker 1: It's not how I'm wired and so I never totally knew where to land.
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: I knew where I didn't land.
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: I grew up with a mercy mom and I knew I didn't have the same gift as her and I saw her gift beautifully displayed.
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: So when we were at one of our first conferences, we had the opportunity at the conference just to sit with the Lord and read over the gifts and I remember sitting with Gibber and just honestly started weeping because kind of like you, I had different language, but it was like this is it?
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: This is how I'm wired and like not to be cheesy, but like kind of gives me chills thinking about it, because it was like it was such a sweet moment of like I knew that, I knew that.
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: I knew, as my friend says, I felt in my feeler and I knew in my knower.
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: You know, like like I just knew it deep within me, just since the Lord confirming that.
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: And so it took a while to really piece all those things together and understand it.
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: Because I think with givers, we do resonate with a lot of the other gifts, mainly because we don't like being put in a box.
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: And so as soon as you say we're a gift for gift, we're like wait, wait, wait, hold on.
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: I reject that because, like you just defined me and labeled me and I'm in a box.
• 40:42
  Speaker 1: I don't like it.
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: So we kind of have our own battle that we do with that right when we're just like push out of the box because we don't want to be read or labeled or known in that way.
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: Some of the things that are true about us givers are we are strategic in our giving.
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: Some people can actually say that they don't see us as generous because in the world they live in we don't value that element as well.
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: So we're not going to give to it, not just financially, but also any other resource.
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: Wise Value is the word.
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: It is the high priority.
• 41:13
  Speaker 1: So if people think we're stingy or protective, it's because we don't just give freely.
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: We give to what we value.
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: So value is a key word there.
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: So, for example, in my life I've done student ministry for a long time and if some of my students are doing things and going off to do projects, I will give specifically to them, not just to the cause that they're representing.
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: Like I have some students who work for Campus Crusade or Campus Outreach or different things like that.
• 41:39
  Speaker 1: I don't.
• 41:39
  Speaker 1: I mean, I appreciate those organizations, but what I'm giving to is that specific relationship that I have with that former student.
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: So the value there is, it's a connection and it's a belief in something that can do a greater good.
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: I mean this is a silly example, but if I needed my car washed a few years ago, I would call someone I knew that needed money and ask them to come wash my car because I'm like I'm not going to take my car washed.
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: A few years ago I would call someone I knew that needed money and ask them to come wash my car because I'm like I'm not going to take my car to the car wash.
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: Most people would take their car to the car wash Like why would you not take your car to the car wash?
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: Kimberly's going to call someone who needs money because I want and again, I'm usually talking students right that are in that world but I want to be able.
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: If I need something done, there's intent behind it.
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: Does that make sense?
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: Yes, it does.
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: Another key characteristic of a giver is that they really desire community, but they're also independent.
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: So it can be a little confusing at times, but we really like to be.
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: It sounds crazy, but I enjoy being in a hotel lobby.
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: I even enjoy being in the airport because there's people around me but I can do my own thing Like I don't know them, I don't need to talk to them, but it's around me and, honestly, a lot of times hotel lobbies in particular are designed with some beauty and aesthetics around them.
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: Hotel lobby I mean airports are usually.
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: Most of them are efficient, not all of them, but there's some design to them and so I can enjoy the beauty around me and be independent but also be around people.
• 43:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Kimberly, I've lived with you as a giver and then another giver at different points in my life and it was very helpful for me to understand this idea of wanting to be around people but not necessarily doing the same thing with people all the time, because there were times, especially with the other giver I lived with, they didn't want me to be a part of the activity they were doing, but they wanted me to be home and I'm like, well, if I'm not a part of the activity you're doing, then why can't I go run some errands right now and then, when you're done with your activity, we'll do something together, kind of thing.
• 43:52
  Speaker 2: It's just, it's this weird independent yet definitely wanting to know that you're a part of a bigger community thing.
• 43:58
  Speaker 2: That I don't know.
• 43:59
  Speaker 2: That I fully understand.
• 44:00
  Speaker 2: But it helped a lot of arguments once I got the understanding that the need and the presence of knowing other activity is going on around you and yet you're able to focus in.
• 44:11
  Speaker 2: Like we have another giver friend who says she hears from God best in the airport.
• 44:15
  Speaker 2: I'm like I don't hear anything in the airport but chaos and confusion, chaos and confusion.
• 44:26
  Speaker 2: But somehow in the midst of that hustle and bustle, your giver gifts are able to just settle in and enjoy knowing that there's activity and community going on around you.
• 44:31
  Speaker 2: And yet you're in your own element, doing your own thing.
• 44:35
  Speaker 1: And another thing that we love is that flexibility, like being able to be spontaneous and not locked into specific schedules.
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: I mean, sometimes I can look at the person I'm with and say, hey, will you just sit next to me for a little while and hang out, you can do your own thing.
• 44:49
  Speaker 1: But other times I'm like no, I want to do something with you, and they can get really confused.
• 44:53
  Speaker 1: And I've had to learn.
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: I like a change in my schedule and I like to be flexible and like jump around and have a little variety, which is why airports or hotels don't bother me.
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: There's stuff going on around me that I can like pull away from.
• 45:05
  Speaker 1: I don't mind activity around me, but other people don't always know how I'm thinking Right, and so you've just kind of alluded to that Like, if I don't, if I can't figure out how to communicate to others and learn myself a little bit to know, hey, this is what's going on right now, then then they're clueless, because sometimes I don't appear to be flexible, I'm very rigid, and then other times I'm like super flexible and they're so confused.
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: Yes, but we do prefer the ability to be flexible.
• 45:34
  Speaker 1: We're not the typical planners, but we do like to look at all the options.
• 45:40
  Speaker 1: Elizabeth, you love hearing me say that word, don't you?
• 45:43
  Speaker 2: I do.
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: I do, I use it a lot, I have a high value for options, I appreciate options, I want options and honestly, that makes me it really makes me good at what I do, because when I sit with a lot of people in conflict, I have to give them other options of how to solve their conflict.
• 46:02
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: So it's helpful In other ways.
• 46:05
  Speaker 1: If Elizabeth and I are trying to decide what movie to go see, she can like end up not wanting to go see a movie with me because I have told her all of the options and it is exhausting.
• 46:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it can be at times.
• 46:19
  Speaker 2: But that's where I wanted to kind of jump in and say, yes, your flexibility and your options and all these things at times for people like prophet and teacher gifts that are more structured, more time oriented, that can be where we're designed to grind with each other a bit, which is why I think God keeps making me live with givers.
• 46:37
  Speaker 2: It's because he's going to work this gift into me one way or the other.
• 46:42
  Speaker 2: But the beauty of your gift is because you can see other options.
• 46:48
  Speaker 2: I see it all the time.
• 46:49
  Speaker 2: When you are able to bring people that have different views or are on opposite ends of the spectrum or in arguments or even all of the mediation type of work you do, you are able to see an out-of-the-box idea of how to fix something or bring people together, or a different way of doing it that other gifts don't see.
• 47:13
  Speaker 2: And so I think a lot of times we can kind of like on the teacher, we focus in on their slow pace or whatever.
• 47:21
  Speaker 2: On the giver we can kind of focus in on, as you said earlier, it can feel kind of wishy-washy because they're constantly thinking of what you know.
• 47:29
  Speaker 2: They don't want to hone in on one thing, because there's three other things that they're excluding when they do that.
• 47:33
  Speaker 2: But the beauty of your gift is so powerful when you are able to help heal communities, heal families and help people come together in ways that other people may not be able to do so well, so I want us to really appreciate that about the giver gift.
• 47:51
  Speaker 2: But at the same time, I will say, if you're listening to this podcast and you can't figure out what your gift is, I would encourage you to look at the giver gift because, as Kimberly said, you don't want to like.
• 48:02
  Speaker 2: I've had people say if at your conference you're going to do that thing where we have to be divided down by what our gift is and talk about it, I don't want to come because I don't want to just be in one group.
• 48:12
  Speaker 2: I want to go to all the groups.
• 48:13
  Speaker 2: I'm like, hey, I get you, I love you, and if you don't know what your gift is, I have a good idea what it is, but I you, because I'm not going to break the rule anymore.
• 48:21
  Speaker 2: It is this beautiful, unique gift that can take longer to figure out, and so just relax into the process and it's going to be okay.
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, givers can be resourceful and relentless, and so use that ability to be resourceful and relentless to press into listening to the Lord about the gifts.
• 48:41
  Speaker 1: And they have a good mixture of intuitiveness and an ability to analyze, being analytical, and so take it apart, look at it, tease it out, but also listen to your gut, listen to your intuition and what the Holy Spirit's saying to you.
• 48:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah Well, moving on to the ruler gift, I often, when I think of the ruler gift, I think of UPS, because their motto, their commercial, their slogan for their commercials is we love logistics.
• 49:09
  Speaker 2: And if you had to make a billboard for the ruler, that's all it would say is we love logistics.
• 49:14
  Speaker 2: They love order.
• 49:17
  Speaker 2: They are only at rest when there is order, but they also love going into a place that is in chaos because they get the chance to bring it into order and they are an amazing person to have on your team.
• 49:32
  Speaker 2: There's a lot of similarities between a prophet and a ruler and we'll get into that in a later podcast, but the one place that it's going to be different is if you look at a ruler's desk versus mine.
• 49:44
  Speaker 2: That is not going to be the same, but they make great team leaders.
• 49:50
  Speaker 2: They make great coaches because they are able to see the value in everyone on the team and have very much a shepherd heart as much as they are about logistics very much a shepherd heart as much as they are about logistics.
• 50:06
  Speaker 2: They can also take a team with whatever kind of talent and bring them together for a greater good, whereas I think sometimes the profit gift wants to find the expert in every field and get a team of experts together to get a job done, because we're focused on efficiency and excellence.
• 50:18
  Speaker 2: This ruler is able to bring together all types of different people and have them work together as a team.
• 50:25
  Speaker 2: But, much like the prophet, time is very important to the ruler and so they are constantly the clock is ticking in their head and how can they squeeze in as much as possible in a given period of time while still keeping on schedule, because they're never going to be late.
• 50:41
  Speaker 2: If not, they're going to be five minutes early.
• 50:43
  Speaker 2: But they are very focused and on time.
• 50:47
  Speaker 2: But I will say when.
• 50:49
  Speaker 2: The one thing I think is the difference between the profit and the ruler, because if you're listening to this and going well, then which one am I is?
• 50:54
  Speaker 2: Rulers are not necessarily visionary, they are implementers.
• 50:58
  Speaker 2: So they are a great asset to have on the team where someone else has the vision, an exhorter.
• 51:03
  Speaker 2: They are a great asset to have on the team where someone else has the vision.
• 51:06
  Speaker 2: An exhorter, a prophet, some other gift giver has an idea and the ruler of me is like great, here's how we can make this idea happen, and thinks through the step by step process to make it happen.
• 51:13
  Speaker 1: I think, in addition to that, they're not interested in blaming others or finding, like finding who did who did what and why.
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: They're more curious about just OK, what's broken, let's fix it.
• 51:26
  Speaker 1: What's wrong, let's fix it, let's move on.
• 51:26
  Speaker 1: And I think prophets can sometimes want to know that why a little bit more.
• 51:29
  Speaker 1: But they're adaptable to changing circumstances because they can come up with a backup plan.
• 51:35
  Speaker 1: They can come up with that like they love order but they love chaos because they get to bring order to it.
• 51:40
  Speaker 1: So they can juggle those things a little bit and just kind of roll with it, because they're like, yeah, let's just make this happen.
• 51:46
  Speaker 1: The focus is on making it happen.
• 51:48
  Speaker 1: At the same time, they can rely on their own strength and their own self-reflections and gifts and thoughts a little too much.
• 51:56
  Speaker 1: Rather than recognizing and being mature in that gift, we're like taking a step back and saying okay, god, where are you leading us in this direction?
• 52:02
  Speaker 1: They can say yes a little too quickly because they can do a lot of things.
• 52:10
  Speaker 2: Yes, they can.
• 52:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and they also can also run at a pace.
• 52:12
  Speaker 2: I went on vacation with the ruler once and I was exhausted because they can run it.
• 52:14
  Speaker 2: Whereas a prophet needs the downtime and alone time and maybe a nap thrown in there, the ruler is like the energizer bunny that can just keep running.
• 52:23
  Speaker 2: I have learned at the end of the day, you don't ask them did you have a good day, you ask them did you have a productive day?
• 52:30
  Speaker 2: Because that is the definition of a good day to them, it's not what went right, what went wrong, it's just was your day productive?
• 52:38
  Speaker 2: Because the idea of spinning your wheels and not being able to get through a problem and get to a solution is just mind-numbing to the ruler gift.
• 52:48
  Speaker 1: So do you want to move into the last gift, the mercy?
• 52:50
  Speaker 1: Let's go for it.
• 52:51
  Speaker 1: All right, we have some very dear mercies in our life, elizabeth.
• 52:54
  Speaker 1: Different people but we do A lot of times mercies can think they're prophets or teachers or exhorters.
• 53:00
  Speaker 1: So again, there are some distinctions.
• 53:02
  Speaker 1: But one of the key things about mercies is they love beauty, they delight in beauty.
• 53:08
  Speaker 1: They notice and appreciate colors, smells, music, nature, textures, history, surroundings, like just all the things that bring beauty.
• 53:18
  Speaker 1: They delight in it and they love to celebrate it.
• 53:20
  Speaker 1: They savor, they move through life at a slower pace so that they can take time to enjoy and extract the deeper experiences and insights that are sometimes beyond verbal expression.
• 53:35
  Speaker 1: And I say that that way because that's how they feel and how they believe.
• 53:40
  Speaker 1: Like they savor, they enjoy.
• 53:43
  Speaker 1: Let's not rush on to the next thing, like let's just take time to transition emotionally from one thing to the next, whether it's moving, a new job, changing churches, a new relationship, a hard thing, a good thing they transition slowly and emotionally and they need that time.
• 54:01
  Speaker 1: One thing to consider is, especially in the grief process, they can take a long time to move through that because they feel and experience a lot.
• 54:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think sometimes as a profit gift, when I have a mercy gift in my life who is struggling with an emotion, I want to help them feel better.
• 54:19
  Speaker 2: I can encourage them to.
• 54:22
  Speaker 2: You know, hurry up and press on, like, okay, well, yeah, that was bad and that happened, but let's, let's move forward.
• 54:28
  Speaker 2: And I need to learn that they need as much time as they need to sit in it, but then at some point sometimes they need a little help getting pulled out of it.
• 54:37
  Speaker 2: So it is a fine dance between giving the mercy the time they need to process their emotions and then also going okay, sometimes they can get stuck.
• 54:46
  Speaker 2: They hold grudges a lot and sometimes they can get stuck in the past, and so sometimes they need to be reminded.
• 54:52
  Speaker 2: Yes, but God has been there for you and you've come through that, and so let's kind of try to be present rather than past focused.
• 55:01
  Speaker 2: But I think one of the key ways you'll figure out if you're a mercy real quick is just take a look through your life.
• 55:07
  Speaker 2: Are you the person that not only friends but strangers come up to and they start telling you their life story, whether you want to know it or not?
• 55:17
  Speaker 1: I was going to say you might know you're a Mercy if you have a sign on your forehead that says tell me about your problems, tell me about your life, right?
• 55:24
  Speaker 2: Yes, absolutely so.
• 55:25
  Speaker 2: It does feel like they do have that flashing sign on their forehead that says I would like to hear about all the painful things that have ever happened in your life, because they are a safe person and people just sense that about them, something about the Mercy gift in them, and so I cannot tell you the number of times I've been out with mercies, just at dinner, grocery stores, we've been all sorts of places and all of a sudden, you know the server doesn't just deliver the food, but we hear everything that's happened in their life and it's usually pretty tragic and I'm just like, wow, that's a lot.
• 55:57
  Speaker 2: And so the problem is oftentimes what we do to mercies is we dump all of our stuff on them and we leave feeling better about ourselves and they're left sitting there holding it, unless they learn that they don't need to carry all the stuff of all the people but immediately go, jesus, this isn't mine to carry, this is yours, and give that to them.
• 56:19
  Speaker 2: So mercies typically only have a few friends.
• 56:23
  Speaker 2: Kimberly, you said earlier that sometimes they get confused with exhorters, and they do because there's a lot about them that is similar, but whereas an exhorter sees a room full of people as a playground.
• 56:34
  Speaker 2: A mercy is not going to do that.
• 56:36
  Speaker 2: A mercy enjoys being in that environment.
• 56:38
  Speaker 2: They enjoy being at a party, just watching all the people and the atmosphere and the interaction.
• 56:43
  Speaker 2: But you're going to watch them gravitate kind of over to a corner and they're going to have one or two party buddies that they hang out with for the evening and they are a part of the action, but a little bit more from the sidelines, versus going from person to person to person to person, having to meet everybody in the room.
• 56:59
  Speaker 2: So very people-oriented, very intuitive, much like you are as a giver, kimberly.
• 57:05
  Speaker 2: So there's a lot of things that can be true about the mercy, but I do watch my mercy friends and mercy family members that I'm around.
• 57:16
  Speaker 2: The depth of what they feel is so deep.
• 57:21
  Speaker 2: So, whether it is joy or sorrow, it is like turn the volume up on whatever is their feeling, and so in some ways it feels like they're living this world in color TV and the rest of us are in black and white, which in some ways is great that they have this technicolor world that they live in.
• 57:39
  Speaker 2: But also, if you think about it, whatever negative they're feeling, they feel it at a more intense level, and so it's them learning to have to take all of that to God and allow God to help regulate all of those emotions, especially any grief, hurt or trauma they've been through.
• 57:55
  Speaker 2: It's very important for them to take all that to Jesus and allow Him to heal those places for them so that they can be able to move forward.
• 58:03
  Speaker 2: I will say about the beauty piece because some people are like well, I don't sing, I don't paint, then I don't play an instrument.
• 58:08
  Speaker 2: So I guess I'm not a mercy.
• 58:10
  Speaker 2: Not all mercies create beauty, but all mercies appreciate beauty, especially one mercy that I'm thinking of that I spend a lot of time with.
• 58:19
  Speaker 2: When we go into a place, they will notice what music is playing in the background, they will notice, you know, the color of the room, the way that things are situated, like even at Chick-fil-A.
• 58:30
  Speaker 2: They appreciate the little red carnation that's on the table.
• 58:33
  Speaker 2: I don't see any of that.
• 58:35
  Speaker 2: I appreciate Chick-fil-A because they're efficient, right, you go in there, they get your order, you get your food and you get to go.
• 58:41
  Speaker 2: Love that about my Chick-fil-A.
• 58:43
  Speaker 2: But they take in the entire atmosphere.
• 58:46
  Speaker 2: They love whenever we go somewhere and we sit down at a restaurant they need to be the one facing out to where they can see the majority of the restaurant, because they want to take in all the other people that are at the restaurant and everything that's going on, and I'm just focused on the table that I'm at and the food that's right in front of me.
• 59:05
  Speaker 2: So it's really fun to watch as these gifts interact with each other.
• 59:08
  Speaker 1: One of the things I also really appreciate and respect about the Mercy Gift is how sensitive they are and aware they are when things are in alignment around them.
• 59:18
  Speaker 1: Yes, whether it's the furniture in a room and sensing that it needs to change, or whether it's relationships that aren't right.
• 59:26
  Speaker 1: I mean, I've already said I grew up with a mercy mother and we would often leave places and she would say something wasn't right in that situation or with that family.
• 59:38
  Speaker 1: Like the majority of the time she was right.
• 59:40
  Speaker 1: That situation or with that family, like the majority of the time she was right.
• 59:47
  Speaker 1: And it's interesting how God gives them that ability to pick up on things, and a lot of times it's in the spiritual realm, and so the gift to that is not just being I mean they can be sensitive to it, but being able to have God use them in those spaces.
• 59:56
  Speaker 1: They can take God's presence into everyday situations where the blessing of His presence can change the spiritual climate.
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 1: And to watch them, be able to see it and then be able to take God's presence into that full picture is really beautiful, and they do.
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 1: They enjoy being with the Lord, they enjoy stoking in His presence, they enjoy being with people, with the Lord more than doing so, they can easily enter into the presence of God and have a full and abiding relationship with him.
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 2: So I hope that this overview of all of the gifts has just given you a taste.
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 2: There is so much more in Free to Be you, which is available on our website.
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 2: You can also get the e-book from Amazon through the Kindle app.
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 2: There are ways that you can read more, because in that book, not only is there descriptions, but there's a biblical example of each gift and then a short interview and a blessing, so there's a lot more teaching about the gifts in that book.
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 2: Also, in the Rural Journey series on episode eight, you can hear we have interviews with people with both gifts and also over the next seven weeks.
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 2: I'm so excited for you to get to hear from some of our friends about the different gifts and learn more how we can honor each other in our relationships with each other.
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 2: So, just as an encouragement as we're closing, if you aren't sure what your gift is after this one podcast, it's okay, it's going to take some time and there's nothing wrong with that, and some of us have been told so long who we're supposed to be that we're going to have to peel back those layers before we can get down to who we really are.
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 2: So we just want to encourage you, as Kimberly has said throughout this podcast, to get some time with God this week.
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 2: Ask Him what did you breathe into me when you were creating me, and we look forward to going on this journey with you.
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it'll be great.
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 1: Join us next week for our interview with our profit friend, and the next few gifts will roll out weekly after that and we look forward to hearing from you if you have any questions, and check us out on all our forms of social media.
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 1: We'll see you next time.
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 2: I want to thank you for listening to the Father's Business Podcast.
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 2: I want to thank you for listening to the Father's Business Podcast.