Latest / I Do, Part 2 / Love Stories: Mary and Romain Bonnet

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Love Stories: Mary and Romain Bonnet · I Do, Part 2

• 0:04
  Speaker 1: This is Amy and TJ Love Stories.
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: Mary and Romayne join us now from Los Angeles. Welcome
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: and thank you all for being with us. How are
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: you doing. How're it to you today?
• 0:24
  Speaker 3: We're good, Yeah, we're good, loving kind of la.
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: Tell me this is wedding bliss still a thing for
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: you guys? Is that a far fetched idea or wedding
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: bliss is real?
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: I will go first. Okay, So I think that we
• 0:52
  Speaker 3: both have found our way in our relationship. I think
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: it took a couple of years. We fought for a
• 1:01
  Speaker 3: couple of years, and then now we're just like go
• 1:05
  Speaker 3: to our own corners, like if we have that day,
• 1:09
  Speaker 3: if we have something. We kind of found our way
• 1:11
  Speaker 3: where we're like, Okay, I'm really tired, I gotta go
• 1:15
  Speaker 3: to bed, or I'm like maybe I've got so much work.
• 1:18
  Speaker 3: I'm just gonna stay in the office and we just
• 1:21
  Speaker 3: go to our own separate corners and in the morning
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: we're better.
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: Now, how long have the two have you been married?
• 1:28
  Speaker 4: Now?
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: Officially, I know you met and got married within a year,
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: but how long have you been married?
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: Uh?
• 1:38
  Speaker 5: We used to it's been seven and halve.
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: Okay, I'm curious because we don't. We don't see that
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: a lot. Usually it's the woman given the guy a
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: hard time for not remembering. So, Mary, what are you
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: the one who just said he's better remembering.
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: I'm like such a guy. I am the absolute worst.
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: I have those sense of time, my ADHD. I think
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: my play part.
• 2:04
  Speaker 5: I'm going to blame it on that.
• 2:05
  Speaker 6: If it isn't that, I'm still gonna blame it on it.
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: I never remember, no worries, just I was just curious. There,
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: let's get to the official list. Now, we're going to
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: go to our official list of the questions we asked
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: every couple, and we started with this. Both of you
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: know what. Romaine, I'll start with you on this one.
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: Five words or less describe your relationship today.
• 2:31
  Speaker 5: Uh?
• 2:36
  Speaker 4: Well, I was still loving fun in.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: That was fine.
• 2:48
  Speaker 5: That works.
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: Loving fun can be intense. We'll take it.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: That's exactly fine.
• 2:54
  Speaker 3: Mary.
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: How about you?
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: I think.
• 3:04
  Speaker 6: Trusting also intense and.
• 3:12
  Speaker 5: Frustrating appreciate.
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: Uh what what makes it frustrating?
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: Life? I think just life. We actually get along very
• 3:29
  Speaker 3: very well. We always get along very well. We've learned
• 3:32
  Speaker 3: to manage I think our lifestyles. But we have difficult
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: lifestyles like I mean we are in the middle of, yeah,
• 3:43
  Speaker 3: the public eye, where everyone's trying to tear us apart.
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: Even production is trying to like twist like scenarios, and
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: everyone has an opinion, and so we just get a
• 3:55
  Speaker 3: backlash of a lot of things. I'm much more emotional
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: than he is, and so I think everything very personally.
• 4:04
  Speaker 3: He doesn't care at all, and so that. But we
• 4:08
  Speaker 3: love each other so much. We actually have so much
• 4:11
  Speaker 3: fun together. We get along so well. We just have
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: like a weird.
• 4:18
  Speaker 4: And it's happed to me so too. When I see
• 4:22
  Speaker 4: her getting so afflicted by like stuff like that sometimes
• 4:26
  Speaker 4: and then I don't really know what to say because
• 4:29
  Speaker 4: I do not get affected by it.
• 4:31
  Speaker 5: So sometimes I'm.
• 4:32
  Speaker 4: Like, I don't want to look like, you know, you
• 4:35
  Speaker 4: don't care, like I don't care, because I do.
• 4:37
  Speaker 3: That's frustrating when it looks like it doesn't care. I'm like, really,
• 4:42
  Speaker 3: I don't care, like I.
• 4:43
  Speaker 4: Do, but by her being bothered by it than the
• 4:47
  Speaker 4: actual fact, you know, And so you know, I don't
• 4:50
  Speaker 4: know sometimes what to say. It's set in moments just
• 4:53
  Speaker 4: because I don't want to look like I don't care.
• 4:55
  Speaker 4: But I'm like, well, would you let those people want
• 5:00
  Speaker 4: what are you gonna do? Because no matter who you are,
• 5:01
  Speaker 4: what you say, always someone doesn't have something to say about.
• 5:04
  Speaker 3: It's the French, right, I logically know that, but mostly
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: it doesn't feel like that.
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: So we weren't supposed to be giving advice, but on
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: this one, just validate how she's feeling. You don't have
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: to agree with how she's feeling, but just validate that.
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: Yes, no, and we relate. We relate so much to
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: what you all just said. We totally get it. It's
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: you can we you can enjoy each other, you can
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: have your relationship. But when it's in the public eye
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: and it's constantly fodder and people are constantly scrutinizing everything,
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: that puts a lot of strain on a relationship, and
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: you would know and so, and you're you're being chronicled.
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: I mean you've got camera. How often are cameras with
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: you all basically in your relation relationship?
• 6:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it makes it difficult. So I am proud
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: of us for being able to just like actually be
• 6:10
  Speaker 3: as happy as we are and just maintain our relationship.
• 6:13
  Speaker 3: I mean, everybody has issues. Everybody, you know, just fights
• 6:18
  Speaker 3: and bickers and stuff like that. But I feel like
• 6:21
  Speaker 3: overall we're great. We get along very very well, we
• 6:28
  Speaker 3: have a lot of fun, and I think overall that's
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: where we are. But of course the public eye doesn't help.
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: What the public eye the public God help you know
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: least thing.
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: Before we get back to the list, you all have
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: brought up so many things we just want to talk
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: to you all about. But we got back to the questions.
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: But can I ask, if you take the cameras away,
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: if you take the public eye part of it away,
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: does your relationship improve? Is that really one of the
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: main things, if not the thing that is causing so
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: many problems?
• 7:00
  Speaker 5: I think when.
• 7:01
  Speaker 4: Yeah, well, he also puts so much stress on her,
• 7:03
  Speaker 4: especially Yeah, so I think in the every day life,
• 7:06
  Speaker 4: you know, if you took it off, she's probably would
• 7:10
  Speaker 4: be like so much less stressed.
• 7:12
  Speaker 5: And then row you but like you know, or the
• 7:14
  Speaker 5: comments and stuff like that, and then you know.
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: I'm a perfectionist and I just I want to be
• 7:21
  Speaker 3: the best like version of me and stuff, and when
• 7:25
  Speaker 3: people say and do things, it just it bugs me
• 7:28
  Speaker 3: so much. I hate conflict, I hate like fighting, I
• 7:32
  Speaker 3: hate like drama, and so I'm in such the wrong industry.
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: Reality TV might not be for you.
• 7:40
  Speaker 3: So yeah, I get super stressed and this poor guy,
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: but I love them.
• 7:45
  Speaker 5: Thank you.
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: We'll get back, We'll get back to the list and
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: let's go. We're gonna go back down to the beginning here.
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: Question we ask everybody, who of the two of you
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: said I love you first?
• 7:54
  Speaker 6: Me?
• 7:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah, probably a.
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: Very cool And how long before after you said I
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: love you did you decide to get engaged?
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: It wasn't very long. Well, we started dating a week
• 8:14
  Speaker 3: after we met, and then we moved in together three
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: months later, and then we got married six months later
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: and then had our wedding like a year, a year
• 8:26
  Speaker 3: and a half after die nice?
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: How long I love you? How long after you started
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: dating Romaine did you say I love you? And then
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: how long Mary did you before you said it back?
• 8:39
  Speaker 5: Christians? Was beginning?
• 8:40
  Speaker 4: I will say three months, four months, like three nice months?
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: Maybe right around moving time.
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: Let's get together. And by the way, I love you.
• 8:55
  Speaker 3: I think when you said it, I probably said it
• 8:58
  Speaker 3: right very quickly afterwards, I don't. Yeah, we have a
• 9:05
  Speaker 3: very fast relationship.
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: Hey, you know what what is I know we talked
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: a little bit about already the stress of the public
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: eye and the cameras. But do you all have like
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: a daily disagreement that just gets under your skin or
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: just an issue that you can't resolve that you've just
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: learned to live with. That's great.
• 9:37
  Speaker 5: Being And then.
• 9:41
  Speaker 3: Like severe ADHD and.
• 9:44
  Speaker 5: So very so.
• 9:50
  Speaker 4: I love when she leaves again a couple just because
• 9:53
  Speaker 4: the house is so perfect, but I missed her.
• 9:56
  Speaker 5: And then as soon as she comes to say she's.
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: Back, yes, teaching bud so I and I think I
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: have ADHD undiagnosed, both of us. We relate.
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: Okay, so see it works somehow.
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: Have you all ever gotten to a place now at
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: this point in your relationship and in your marriage where
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: you've come close to or even considered breaking up and
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: calling it quits.
• 10:27
  Speaker 3: No, I think I've probably threatened. I'm like, you know what,
• 10:35
  Speaker 3: But then but I definitely don't mean it and make
• 10:41
  Speaker 3: up for it, like right after I say it, because
• 10:43
  Speaker 3: I'm like, that was so dumb I.
• 10:45
  Speaker 6: Said that, But but no, I don't think so. I
• 10:50
  Speaker 6: don't think there's anything that's actually ever really tested us.
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, let's talk about this.
• 10:59
  Speaker 7: Then.
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: How how often do you fight?
• 11:03
  Speaker 5: Not that often?
• 11:05
  Speaker 4: Because we also have like a little big different schedules really,
• 11:08
  Speaker 4: so I leave early on the morning.
• 11:10
  Speaker 5: She walks from home mostly, so I leave early on
• 11:13
  Speaker 5: the morning and I come back.
• 11:14
  Speaker 4: Pretty late, so we get to spend dinner and then
• 11:18
  Speaker 4: a little bit but usually be there.
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: Wait, but we we can long really well, like on
• 11:22
  Speaker 3: weekends when you are home.
• 11:24
  Speaker 5: I know, but that's something already.
• 11:26
  Speaker 4: Most like we have a different schedule, so we don't
• 11:28
  Speaker 4: get to see shows out that much, so you.
• 11:30
  Speaker 5: Know, you don't have opportunities to fight. Yeah, exactly, No,
• 11:38
  Speaker 5: over all we do, we do not.
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I mean, we hear from a lot of
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: couples that absence makes the heart grow fonder, and that
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: is a part of the key to the success of
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: their relationship is that they're not all up in each
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: other's spaces all the time. But that actually is a
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: good thing. We don't know anything about that.
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, do you.
• 11:57
  Speaker 5: Have Do you have rules when you fight?
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: I know, mayor you just said you you've said some
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: things you probably shouldn't have said in the heat of battle.
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: But we talked to some couples and said they absolutely
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: don't use profanity, they don't threaten to leave and kinds
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: of things. Do you'll have rules when you're getting heated.
• 12:17
  Speaker 8: I think for the most part, we both just like
• 12:19
  Speaker 8: go to our corners. Yeah, for the most part, I think,
• 12:26
  Speaker 8: like the worst case scenario is like where he ignores
• 12:29
  Speaker 8: me and I'm like, really, it's the worst Do.
• 12:33
  Speaker 3: Not ignore me, Like please acknowledge what I'm saying right now.
• 12:38
  Speaker 3: And he's like, I'm not gonna talk to you like this.
• 12:41
  Speaker 5: I'm like, that's not what I get no matter what
• 12:47
  Speaker 5: I say. Usually in those situations, no matter what I say,
• 12:51
  Speaker 5: I'm wrong. So I'm like, you're not wrong.
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: He's learning.
• 12:56
  Speaker 5: I can tell you you're doing great.
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: Brother. Let me ask, do you'll have this rule about it?
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: Sounds like you all don't have it, but some couple
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: say we refuse to go to bed angry. Some therapists
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: will tell you to do that. Others will tell you
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: not to do that. Yes, there, it is.
• 13:13
  Speaker 3: Just that think it through, sleep it up, like like
• 13:16
  Speaker 3: just in the morning. It's always different, like in the
• 13:19
  Speaker 3: moment you're really mad or frustrated or whatever. And I
• 13:25
  Speaker 3: think if you just like sleep on it, wake up
• 13:28
  Speaker 3: in the morning and you think it through again, it's like, Okay,
• 13:32
  Speaker 3: it's not I'm still like frustrated, but it's not that
• 13:35
  Speaker 3: big of a deal, and so to me, I would
• 13:39
  Speaker 3: rather sleep on it. I don't want to talk right then.
• 13:41
  Speaker 3: Otherwise I would just keep going and going.
• 13:44
  Speaker 7: And then he gets what he and he's so stummern
• 13:47
  Speaker 7: he'll just like me, gets heels it and he'll just
• 13:49
  Speaker 7: like we would. We would be horrible if we have
• 13:53
  Speaker 7: that role, We would be absolutely horrible.
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: How much time, how much space you need after that
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: initial fight before you can actually come back together and
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: talk it through.
• 14:06
  Speaker 3: A couple of hours?
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: All right, that's good.
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: Have you all ever had to? Have you ever considered
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: and have you ever been to couples therapy counseling of
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: any kind?
• 14:17
  Speaker 4: We did once, but there was for something, even not
• 14:19
  Speaker 4: because it wasn't good.
• 14:21
  Speaker 5: But what do you don't give?
• 14:28
  Speaker 4: It's good sometime to talk out like you know stuff,
• 14:30
  Speaker 4: but like also how we.
• 14:32
  Speaker 3: We talked things through pretty well?
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: What do you think about we've we've we've done some
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: stories on a couple of famous couples, even George Clooney
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: and the mall. I think Travis Kelsey and Taylor Swift.
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: They both said that they never have fought like they
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: do not fight. What do you think about couples who
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: don't fight. Do you think that's realistic?
• 14:56
  Speaker 5: What?
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: What are your thoughts on that? Because it makes the
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: rest of us feel like ship.
• 15:03
  Speaker 4: Well you're almost like, I mean, I know, well, it
• 15:07
  Speaker 4: means that that one of them is the people pleaser.
• 15:10
  Speaker 5: You know, I mean, like, do you have to oh
• 15:12
  Speaker 5: the was that thing? That one of them.
• 15:13
  Speaker 4: Isn't much opinion about anything, because it's impossible that the
• 15:18
  Speaker 4: person is like exactly the same seat it was in
• 15:20
  Speaker 4: the same way.
• 15:21
  Speaker 9: But you can just respect each other and each other's
• 15:24
  Speaker 9: differences and understand like where they're coming from.
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: You don't have to agree with it, but you can
• 15:29
  Speaker 3: understand it.
• 15:31
  Speaker 10: And then you have to buy Yeah, what did we say?
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: How many years of marriage?
• 15:50
  Speaker 4: Now?
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: With seven and seven and a half? Seven and a half,
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: all right, so you've been married that long? If you
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: my question is what's been the best year so far?
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: If you can't give me a specific year, then tell
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: me this the beginning, the middle, or the end where
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: you are right now? What was the best part of
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: your marriage so far?
• 16:16
  Speaker 5: But the beginning it's always like you know or like
• 16:20
  Speaker 5: bubbly and like that.
• 16:21
  Speaker 3: I think every time we're on vacation is the best
• 16:27
  Speaker 3: are like so in love. The minute we go away,
• 16:30
  Speaker 3: we're so in love. We have the best time. We
• 16:33
  Speaker 3: just like reconnect and it's just immediate, but we just
• 16:36
  Speaker 3: get so wrapped up in our lives and business and
• 16:40
  Speaker 3: us and everything like that.
• 16:42
  Speaker 4: You just you're just not disconnect but almost like you know,
• 16:46
  Speaker 4: go a little are separate way. Until that's what we
• 16:48
  Speaker 4: tried to do as much as possible likely get away.
• 16:50
  Speaker 5: Or or try to you know, leave to go somewhere
• 16:53
  Speaker 5: every time we can.
• 16:55
  Speaker 4: Yeah, we get to reconnect and spend time actially together
• 16:58
  Speaker 4: the property and so so that helps us.
• 17:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, we've really made a point to at least
• 17:05
  Speaker 3: at least once a year go on a big vacation
• 17:08
  Speaker 3: and then a couple of times a year going like
• 17:10
  Speaker 3: little staycations so that we can just or if we
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: and I just told them the other day, I was like,
• 17:15
  Speaker 3: maybe I think we need to get away because even
• 17:20
  Speaker 3: like two days just going to Malibu or Santa Barbara
• 17:24
  Speaker 3: or something like that, just get out of our normal
• 17:27
  Speaker 3: routine or our normal like environment. It does wonders. It
• 17:31
  Speaker 3: really does, like and I don't know why, because we're
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: the same people and that shouldn't change anything, but it does.
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: I actually think that's a great, a great sign because
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: we love to people watch, and when you see a
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: lot of couples on vacation, you don't see happy people.
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: You see people separate, reading their books and not engaging
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: on their phones. So it's cool, Like I feel like
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: that's a really good sign that your favorite moments with
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: each other are when you're alone and distracted. Most people
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: choose the district.
• 18:06
  Speaker 3: I absolutely chairiship, because that's that's if we could live
• 18:10
  Speaker 3: our entire life like that, we would be probably the
• 18:12
  Speaker 3: happiest couple on earth.
• 18:13
  Speaker 11: But we don't have that life so like in our
• 18:18
  Speaker 11: own way, and so we have business schedules, different, different schedule,
• 18:22
  Speaker 11: and so it's true that it's not and we respect
• 18:25
  Speaker 11: that so much about each other or hard we work,
• 18:28
  Speaker 11: but so you know, eventually, with time, you know, we
• 18:31
  Speaker 11: go a little bit o ways.
• 18:33
  Speaker 4: And then so when we get to spend actually more
• 18:36
  Speaker 4: time together properly and you know, go to be together,
• 18:39
  Speaker 4: wake up together every day, and then so that's much
• 18:43
  Speaker 4: easier to reconnect.
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: Tell me that, what do you all think about the
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: idea of date nights. A lot of couples have a
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: set day Thursday. We always do it Friday. What do
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: you all just think about the idea of it?
• 18:53
  Speaker 5: All the worse people?
• 18:56
  Speaker 3: Okay, So I am such an introvert. I do not
• 19:02
  Speaker 3: like I have that I have to put on my
• 19:04
  Speaker 3: work hat and my my personal hat, and I can't
• 19:09
  Speaker 3: go on date nights because if people look at us
• 19:13
  Speaker 3: and listen and stuff like that, I feel so uncomfortable.
• 19:18
  Speaker 3: It was like, I have to have my workout on
• 19:20
  Speaker 3: to be able to go out and be And I
• 19:23
  Speaker 3: love meeting people. I love like being out doing stuff,
• 19:28
  Speaker 3: but I have to have I'm so private. I guess
• 19:33
  Speaker 3: I just I have to have boundaries. And when we
• 19:36
  Speaker 3: go out, like I need to go, I need to go,
• 19:45
  Speaker 3: I'm like, I can't do it. So we don't really
• 19:47
  Speaker 3: go on date nights.
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: So if if if your love just blossoms and flourishes
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: on vacation when you're at home and the mundane life
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: just starts eating away at you, I'm curious how you
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: divvy up responsibilities in your house? Who does the cooking,
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: who does the cleaning, who does the laundry? How do
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: you figure that out?
• 20:08
  Speaker 5: I wish that really likely.
• 20:10
  Speaker 4: When it's small, I would say, like, you know, it's small,
• 20:13
  Speaker 4: depending on our schedule, and then who has time. But
• 20:15
  Speaker 4: usually we're pretty good at you know, whoever has the
• 20:18
  Speaker 4: time to do the laundry.
• 20:19
  Speaker 5: I'm doing mother cleaning usually, but she.
• 20:23
  Speaker 4: Even though she's the one thing at home, but no,
• 20:27
  Speaker 4: the wors for laundry and then cooking and everything. She
• 20:30
  Speaker 4: happens a couple of times that I come home and
• 20:31
  Speaker 4: then she gets she sometimes she cooked something, but I order, I.
• 20:36
  Speaker 3: Order everything, and I have been delivered, to be fair.
• 20:43
  Speaker 4: Sometimes it's one times burn and egg, and so I'm like, okay,
• 20:48
  Speaker 4: safer for me.
• 20:51
  Speaker 5: We had a couple of things she does amazingly, but
• 20:55
  Speaker 5: you know, keep it sure.
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And of course we asked every couple of this
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: as well. How do you divvy up finances in the house?
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: One account, two accounts, three accounts? How does it work
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: for you guys?
• 21:08
  Speaker 3: We have sparate account we have. My ex husband kind
• 21:14
  Speaker 3: of traumatized me from that, and so I found bankruptcy
• 21:17
  Speaker 3: and had to do all these things like he saw
• 21:19
  Speaker 3: all the money and stuff like that, and and wracked
• 21:22
  Speaker 3: up a bunch of stuff in my name, and so
• 21:24
  Speaker 3: I will not share an account with anybody ever again.
• 21:29
  Speaker 3: And I was like, maybe I love you. I trust you,
• 21:33
  Speaker 3: but just for peace of mind, I need my own
• 21:36
  Speaker 3: separate accounts. We can share like expenses, we can do
• 21:40
  Speaker 3: different things, but I cannot allow that to happen again
• 21:44
  Speaker 3: like it was, which.
• 21:45
  Speaker 5: I didn't account because for me, I mean like I
• 21:48
  Speaker 5: never thought it, you know. And then I was up
• 21:51
  Speaker 5: to you know, keeping like.
• 21:54
  Speaker 4: This because we had an account we opened and together
• 21:57
  Speaker 4: TAAs and then you know, if we received some extracuse,
• 22:00
  Speaker 4: but use it.
• 22:03
  Speaker 3: Yes, you just have separate, separate expenses. We share certain expenses,
• 22:09
  Speaker 3: but we just have separate accounts.
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yep, very modern way. And once you've been burned once,
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: that makes a lot of sense.
• 22:15
  Speaker 3: All right.
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: When it comes to family, I know you all have
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: been very open about your fertility journey, but how important
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: is it for you right now to have kids together?
• 22:26
  Speaker 4: We've got you're for a baby.
• 22:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah, we tried, and unfortunately, I mean, I don't think
• 22:36
  Speaker 3: that's in the cards for us. I have a septum
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: in the middle of my uterus and I didn't know that.
• 22:44
  Speaker 3: I have no idea how I had my son because
• 22:47
  Speaker 3: it's basically your miracle. But they said I can't carry
• 22:51
  Speaker 3: a child, a child full term unless I have it removed. However,
• 22:56
  Speaker 3: it would take so like it would have scar tissue
• 22:59
  Speaker 3: and it takes along the heel. And I'm already forty five,
• 23:03
  Speaker 3: so it's not really going to happen unless we adopt
• 23:07
  Speaker 3: or something like that. But he's been very very understanding,
• 23:14
  Speaker 3: thank god. So yeah, that's where we're at.
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: But is that something at the beginning of your relationship
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: and your marriage was something that was very important and
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: you all talked about, we're gonna go for this, Well.
• 23:29
  Speaker 5: We uh did no, really, I mean she knew that
• 23:33
  Speaker 5: I wanted and then.
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: I didn't really want to in the beginning. But if
• 23:38
  Speaker 3: I had my son when I was fifteen, and like
• 23:41
  Speaker 3: I've been there, done that, but then I was like, okay,
• 23:45
  Speaker 3: you know what, let's do it because I want to
• 23:47
  Speaker 3: make him happy. I wanted the family with him.
• 23:49
  Speaker 5: But now you know, yeah, and I didn't.
• 23:52
  Speaker 4: I never also wanted to press on her in a
• 23:54
  Speaker 4: way that she would be boy that I would leave,
• 23:59
  Speaker 4: for example, if you know, she would not be okay
• 24:02
  Speaker 4: to have babies or could not, so you know, it
• 24:06
  Speaker 4: was it was.
• 24:06
  Speaker 5: That which wired the Unfortunately we couldn't. And so if
• 24:10
  Speaker 5: this whole process, you know, we'll take sometimes and then
• 24:12
  Speaker 5: doesn't even mean that after that we still will be
• 24:15
  Speaker 5: able to, you know, get one so and but she
• 24:20
  Speaker 5: forgot this little boy.
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: No, And I know so many couples appreciate just you
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: being vulnerable and open about that because this it's people
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: think it's just an assumption that you can and it's
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: not always the case. So like, there are a million
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: things that happen, and and look, there's an age difference
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: between the twov there's an age difference between us as well.
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: I'm the older I'm the older woman, you're the older woman.
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: There's is it twelve years we are well, I say
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: four years, he says five. We're exactly four and I'm
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: four and a half years older than here. The age
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: difference between you all is twelve years thirteen thirteen. And
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: how has that impacted, if at all, your relationship or
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: at least even what people say about your relationship.
• 25:07
  Speaker 3: Well, people always have something to say, so now not
• 25:14
  Speaker 3: why it much, But I don't think that we have.
• 25:18
  Speaker 3: We don't see it just as a couple. We don't
• 25:20
  Speaker 3: see the age difference. Besides, when it comes to I
• 25:25
  Speaker 3: think the child thing and where I'm like, I'm forty five,
• 25:30
  Speaker 3: I mean it's it's just it's it really limits you.
• 25:36
  Speaker 3: And he's so young enough that that's where we see it.
• 25:40
  Speaker 3: Otherwise he's very mature.
• 25:43
  Speaker 5: Yeah, and we have a first starting and everything, especially
• 25:50
  Speaker 5: when and then he's a.
• 25:52
  Speaker 3: Gold digger and like I'm an old tag and all
• 25:57
  Speaker 3: these things. Like everybody just has things to say. But
• 26:00
  Speaker 3: once they saw us get married, once they saw like
• 26:02
  Speaker 3: other things happened. Now they're nicer about it.
• 26:05
  Speaker 5: But so many people were saying, like, oh, I was
• 26:07
  Speaker 5: working for you.
• 26:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, people are pretty but yeah.
• 26:11
  Speaker 4: So many people were thinking that it was just for
• 26:14
  Speaker 4: the money, for the fame.
• 26:16
  Speaker 5: That well he won't and so that she was getting mad.
• 26:21
  Speaker 5: I'm not for what you say.
• 26:22
  Speaker 3: I'm like, I don't know mad about things they say.
• 26:25
  Speaker 3: I get mad when they say things about him. I'm like,
• 26:28
  Speaker 3: that's not true.
• 26:31
  Speaker 5: I mean they don't know us. Well.
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well and so and then how much of that
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: was Did your families have anything to say about it?
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: Did your friends have anything to say about it? Or
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: is it just negative attention from the public.
• 26:46
  Speaker 3: Uh? No, our families we both get along with each
• 26:49
  Speaker 3: other's families very very well. We're very close. Uh, and yeah, we.
• 26:56
  Speaker 9: Love each other's families. They love each other. We all
• 26:59
  Speaker 9: spend a lot of time together, all of our friends.
• 27:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah they love him, like, yeah, we all that. That
• 27:07
  Speaker 3: was never a problem. It's just it's just the public.
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: And tell tell us now about the role of friendship
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: in your relationship. Robes and I were absolutely on hundred
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: best friends before we ever started dating, and a lot
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: of couples get together and then after a few years
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: or something said yeah, this is my best friend. Tell me, though,
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: what the role of friendship, what it plays in your relationship.
• 27:32
  Speaker 3: Well, I think it's really important.
• 27:34
  Speaker 4: You want to be able to be like to be
• 27:40
  Speaker 4: like confidence and then of like you know.
• 27:43
  Speaker 3: Comfortable and everything like that. I think it's like because
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: I feel like lost when you first meet somebody that
• 27:53
  Speaker 3: goes away, like like after a while, you want to
• 27:55
  Speaker 3: keep like the fire burning and do all these things.
• 27:58
  Speaker 3: But that initial just lust because a way you have
• 28:02
  Speaker 3: to have a foundation, a base, and and that like
• 28:07
  Speaker 3: best friend, you want to tell them everything. You want
• 28:10
  Speaker 3: to be with them all the time. That's who you
• 28:13
  Speaker 3: come home and you want by your side, and so
• 28:18
  Speaker 3: I think I think that has to be there really
• 28:23
  Speaker 3: for a sustainable relationship. I think you have to have
• 28:27
  Speaker 3: a friendship, like a very close friendship, otherwise.
• 28:31
  Speaker 5: You're not gonna want to I don't know.
• 28:33
  Speaker 3: Maybe some people are like yeah.
• 28:35
  Speaker 4: But I feel like, yeah, you want to see the
• 28:37
  Speaker 4: person constantly that you're happy and we there to come
• 28:39
  Speaker 4: home like you just knowing that you're gonna see them,
• 28:42
  Speaker 4: and yeah that matters.
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I mean.
• 28:48
  Speaker 3: Like a good friendship. It's weird, like, is it still
• 28:51
  Speaker 3: the same as when you first met.
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's weird for us that I actually say to
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: her sometimes, can we just be friends today? Like we
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: had so much time as a friendship that then the
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: romantic relationship is a bonus and it's nice. But I
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: like hanging out with my best friend and being strictly
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: a buddy. Yes, she was my best friend before we
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: ever started dating, so we were.
• 29:13
  Speaker 2: He was the person I was like, if I could
• 29:15
  Speaker 2: do anything with like go to a movie, go to
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: a concert, go and do anything, sit at a school
• 29:19
  Speaker 2: board meeting, He'd be the person who I wanted to
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: sit next to me regardless, just as a friend. Because
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: we cut up together. We have the same sense of
• 29:26
  Speaker 2: dark humor. I think that has been one of the
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: connective days for us. But yeah, so even like maybe
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: when we are fighting or we're not great romantically, it's like,
• 29:34
  Speaker 2: can we just be friends today, go back to the
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: friendship thing right because the romance thing is complicating things
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: right now, and we just be friends right now.
• 29:46
  Speaker 3: But that's where we're solid.
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: It's true, though, it's awesome.
• 29:54
  Speaker 3: I love that.
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: It's comforting. I think in those moments when it comes
• 29:59
  Speaker 2: to romance though, because that still is obviously a very
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: important part of being in a relationship. How what do
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: you do? Do you do anything to actively try to
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: keep the spark alive?
• 30:13
  Speaker 4: But as I feel like what we say, like we said,
• 30:15
  Speaker 4: it's like one we travel and everything we became, we
• 30:18
  Speaker 4: always like come back and be much closer with each
• 30:21
  Speaker 4: other and like fun even more, you know, like you
• 30:26
  Speaker 4: get back like a you know, attraction and then you
• 30:28
  Speaker 4: know when I see that person more and you know,
• 30:30
  Speaker 4: you might team together, you know, just to be able
• 30:33
  Speaker 4: to spend time and go eat together, experience new stuff
• 30:36
  Speaker 4: so you know, and discover a new places, you know
• 30:38
  Speaker 4: if you travel, you know oversea.
• 30:40
  Speaker 5: So I think that's what you know gets us like
• 30:43
  Speaker 5: much closer.
• 30:44
  Speaker 3: And yeah, and there's part of it is all on
• 30:47
  Speaker 3: me because I have like trauma from something that happened before.
• 30:51
  Speaker 3: So I have to go back to therapy and do
• 30:53
  Speaker 3: different things sometimes because of something that happened. So when
• 30:57
  Speaker 3: I start feeling I'm like, yeah, yeah, that Thomas kicking back,
• 31:01
  Speaker 3: and I'm like, I gotta.
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: Something happens with you that you know is impacting your
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: relationship with Romaine. So you go get it checked out.
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: What is that thing?
• 31:15
  Speaker 5: Well, I was.
• 31:15
  Speaker 3: Raped and so that how does that impact your relationship now?
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah with Romayne, even though you've been married seven plus years.
• 31:27
  Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah, but it's it's not anything And then E
• 31:31
  Speaker 7: M D R and stuff like that, because it's not anything.
• 31:34
  Speaker 3: I it's it's just like a physical reaction. It's not
• 31:40
  Speaker 3: anything that has anything to do with him. He's the
• 31:43
  Speaker 3: best guy ever and so patient and so like. But
• 31:46
  Speaker 3: it's just a physical response that your body just holds
• 31:49
  Speaker 3: on to trauma and you just have to, like I
• 31:53
  Speaker 3: do I realize sometimes I'm like, oh, I if he
• 31:57
  Speaker 3: comes up and just like and I just like jump,
• 32:02
  Speaker 3: and I'm like, wait, that makes him feel bad and
• 32:05
  Speaker 3: and I don't mean to like, it's just a response
• 32:09
  Speaker 3: from something that happened. And so I you know, when
• 32:13
  Speaker 3: I feel it starting to like increase more. Sometimes it's
• 32:17
  Speaker 3: totally fine, and then I think after my book, like
• 32:20
  Speaker 3: it got much worse because I hadn't just keep talking
• 32:23
  Speaker 3: about it and reliving it, reliving it over and over.
• 32:27
  Speaker 3: But but he's very patient and and I try to
• 32:32
  Speaker 3: be very very aware of when I do it, because
• 32:36
  Speaker 3: I was not aware that I was doing it before.
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: So they're basically, thank you so much for that answer.
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to.
• 32:44
  Speaker 5: Get us nothing.
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: Thank you for being honest about it.
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: I'm just like honest about about and once again, obviously
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: that is super helpful to so many people who are
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: survivors and drivers despite that, and it does seep into
• 33:04
  Speaker 2: your relationship. Anything you've been through you bring with you,
• 33:06
  Speaker 2: You bring that trauma with you, and so that's I
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: think that's amazing. You talk about it, You're getting therapy
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: constantly for it. I'm always in therapy as well. I'm
• 33:15
  Speaker 2: a work in progress, I'm always always I'm the same way.
• 33:18
  Speaker 2: So it's I think it's important to let people know
• 33:21
  Speaker 2: that it's okay, Like we all have and it's different
• 33:24
  Speaker 2: layers and different versions of it. But I appreciate the
• 33:27
  Speaker 2: fact that you're so open about it. I think that's incredible.
• 33:31
  Speaker 2: What do you think? Could you? Guys? Even I don't
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: know if there's a way to sum it up, because
• 33:35
  Speaker 2: everyone wants to look at a couple like you and
• 33:38
  Speaker 2: say I want to be like them, I want their relationship.
• 33:41
  Speaker 2: I want to be as successful and as happy and
• 33:43
  Speaker 2: as in love as they are. What would you say
• 33:45
  Speaker 2: the key to your relationship success is what advice would
• 33:50
  Speaker 2: you give other couples?
• 33:54
  Speaker 3: I think probably in my opinion, it's like appreciate and
• 34:00
  Speaker 3: respect the person for who they are, Like you can't change,
• 34:04
  Speaker 3: you don't want to change, and you don't want to
• 34:06
  Speaker 3: like you have to love and respect them and accept
• 34:10
  Speaker 3: your partner for who they are. Because then it's like
• 34:15
  Speaker 3: compromises all and stuff that that's all like small things
• 34:18
  Speaker 3: that come along with it.
• 34:19
  Speaker 4: But when I evolve, you know, together as you are
• 34:22
  Speaker 4: in the relationships, you learn or to how to walk together,
• 34:26
  Speaker 4: or to live together and stuff like that. So these
• 34:28
  Speaker 4: things that you're going to be able to manage and
• 34:30
  Speaker 4: and you know, evolve a little bit about the relationship.
• 34:33
  Speaker 4: But I'm patient, Yeah, ultimately, like you know, you're not
• 34:36
  Speaker 4: going with someone like thinking, Okay, I'm gonna compare to
• 34:40
  Speaker 4: change that person and I want her to do this
• 34:42
  Speaker 4: and that and that.
• 34:43
  Speaker 5: So you have to be okay with who they are
• 34:46
  Speaker 5: at first, and you know.
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: Let me try it on the flip side of the
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: way she asked it. That was the key to you
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: all success. That's working for you all as you all
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: look at other couples and you see them, what do
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: you see other couples the mistakes that they are making,
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: and you're like, oh my god, come on, even maybe
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: some couples that are out there in the public eye,
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: maybe friends around you. But if you had a chance
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: to talk to every couple in the country right now,
• 35:12
  Speaker 1: you will don't make this mistake? What would you tell
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: them to stop doing?
• 35:20
  Speaker 3: Don't? I don't know if I have an opinion. Everybody
• 35:23
  Speaker 3: is different. You don't have an opinion. I'm sure.
• 35:26
  Speaker 4: I'm trying to think about it's who I'm like, I
• 35:29
  Speaker 4: don't really, I don't care, but like, you know, what
• 35:33
  Speaker 4: you want.
• 35:34
  Speaker 5: Like everyone's business.
• 35:35
  Speaker 4: So I'm like, you know, if someone asks me what
• 35:38
  Speaker 4: we do and stuff like that, you know, I can
• 35:40
  Speaker 4: straighten my pinion. But I usually don't like try to
• 35:44
  Speaker 4: get into people's business, you know what I mean, unless
• 35:47
  Speaker 4: they ask me their opinion, but something.
• 35:49
  Speaker 5: But otherwise, just like you know, you do you do me.
• 35:53
  Speaker 3: I guess the only thing I can think of off the
• 35:55
  Speaker 3: top of my head is like when you try to
• 35:58
  Speaker 3: control the couples try to control each other. I think
• 36:03
  Speaker 3: that's just a recipe for disaster. Like you have to
• 36:07
  Speaker 3: give each other space. You have to let each other
• 36:10
  Speaker 3: be who who you are and and respect that and
• 36:15
  Speaker 3: don't respect each other's time away. Like I just went
• 36:17
  Speaker 3: with my sister.
• 36:18
  Speaker 12: I was like, mabe, I'm gonna go with my sister
• 36:20
  Speaker 12: to the mountains and he's like when I was like tomorrow, okay,
• 36:27
  Speaker 12: but it works, like and it's really real first and
• 36:30
  Speaker 12: he goes skiing with the boys and stuff like that too.
• 36:33
  Speaker 3: You just need that time. You just have to give
• 36:36
  Speaker 3: each other, I think, freedom to just beat yourselves to
• 36:45
  Speaker 3: to have fun. You can't control the other person otherwise
• 36:48
  Speaker 3: it just I think it backfires. The more you try
• 36:52
  Speaker 3: to control, the more like you lose.
• 36:55
  Speaker 5: You have to have respect, especially me as a guy.
• 37:00
  Speaker 5: You know, for girls like this, stuff like that that will.
• 37:03
  Speaker 4: Never agree with, like you know what people do, will
• 37:05
  Speaker 4: say or do that, it's just because you should respect it.
• 37:09
  Speaker 5: You know a girl then so I think this is
• 37:13
  Speaker 5: really important.
• 37:15
  Speaker 2: We have absolutely loved talking to the two of you.
• 37:20
  Speaker 2: It's been so fun just to hear how you navigate
• 37:23
  Speaker 2: life and the spotlight and all the pressure, the age difference.
• 37:28
  Speaker 2: But I think this is all. But it's it's inspiring
• 37:31
  Speaker 2: to see two people come together and figure from two
• 37:34
  Speaker 2: different parts of the world, two different cultures. It's inspiring
• 37:38
  Speaker 2: to see how you all make it work.
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: What are the couple goals for twenty twenty six?
• 37:47
  Speaker 3: A couple of goals for twenty twenty six as a couple.
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: What are your goals for twenty twenty six?
• 37:56
  Speaker 3: That's what our goal always is. And Safari, Yeah, that's
• 38:01
  Speaker 3: a really big one that we want to do. It's
• 38:06
  Speaker 3: always traveled because we just.
• 38:08
  Speaker 5: Yeah, we have making times to get it.
• 38:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and you and but it opens our eyes to.
• 38:15
  Speaker 5: We love traveling like new things, new places, new food,
• 38:19
  Speaker 5: new people.
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: So it's so yeah, So because that's fantastic. You will
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: you will in you work this hard, but fun is
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: a priority and being together away from all this is
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: a priority and that we absolutely respect. And you all
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: have set a couple goal for us for twenty twenty six.
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: We look up to you all for that reason we're
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: trying to do more of that ourselves. So congrats on
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: everything that's and that continues to come your way.
• 38:45
  Speaker 5: It is an absolute treat to.
• 38:46
  Speaker 2: Talk to you too, you too, Are you all really quickly?
• 38:51
  Speaker 5: Are you all doing?
• 38:52
  Speaker 2: Is it season ten of Selling Sunset?
• 38:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's happening next month in March.
• 39:00
  Speaker 2: All right, well, good luck with all that work life balance.
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: We're gonna be watching closer now that we know you
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: guys looking for little things in the show
• 39:09
  Speaker 3: Now much loved you both, Thank you, thank you.