Latest / Groove with Portia / Menopause, Identity and the Woman You’re Becoming

Transcript

Menopause, Identity and the Woman You’re Becoming · Groove with Portia

0:07
Speaker 1: Welcome to Groul Porsche, the podcast that uncovers the hidden
0:10
Speaker 1: treasures within grief. I'm your host, Porsche the Producer, and
0:13
Speaker 1: I'm inviting you to join me on a transformative journey
0:16
Speaker 1: where we were exchange laughter, of course, the best medicine
0:19
Speaker 1: of them all, reflect on cherished memories, Remember that time
0:22
Speaker 1: that the little boy grabbed my hand instead of his
0:24
Speaker 1: mother's at the amusement park yikes, And of course, discover
0:27
Speaker 1: gratitude while navigating one of life's hardest challenges lost. So
0:32
Speaker 1: get ready to grow with me, Porsche the Producer, let's
0:36
Speaker 1: dive in. Hello everyone, and welcome back to Google Porsche.
0:47
Speaker 1: I am your host, Porsche Booker, and as always, don't
0:50
Speaker 1: forget to like, share and subscribe to keep up with
0:53
Speaker 1: all things grew with Porsche. So today I have a
0:56
Speaker 1: special guest who has been a very dear friend of
0:59
Speaker 1: mine since the first day that we met. She has
1:02
Speaker 1: been a reoccurring guest on Girul Porsche. I think this
1:04
Speaker 1: is her third time coming on to really speak to menopause.
1:09
Speaker 1: And let's let me pause for a minute, no pun intended,
1:12
Speaker 1: because it seems that menopause has become a mainstream conversation
1:17
Speaker 1: the last couple of years, but there's still a lot
1:19
Speaker 1: of work to do, so without further delay, welcome my
1:23
Speaker 1: dear friend and your menopause expert, Miss Carli goodbast night Menandez. Yes,
1:28
Speaker 1: all of that, Carlika, Hello, my friend. Where reunited and
1:33
Speaker 1: it feels so good. Carl Good. Let me give you
1:37
Speaker 1: your flowers real quick, because we are losing people left
1:41
Speaker 1: and right. And I found out last night that a
1:44
Speaker 1: dear friend of mine transitioned and I was gonna wear
1:48
Speaker 1: the dresses she made, but I could not find it
1:50
Speaker 1: this morning to put it on. So I just want
1:52
Speaker 1: to give you your flowers because I love the work
1:54
Speaker 1: that you're doing. I thank you for being in my
1:57
Speaker 1: corner when I needed somebody. I remember our conversation that
2:01
Speaker 1: we had the week that my mom transitioned, and you
2:04
Speaker 1: told me that just because your mother can't fight for
2:08
Speaker 1: herself this time doesn't mean that she's not still fighting.
2:13
Speaker 1: She's tired, but her faith is strong, and I thank you.
2:17
Speaker 1: Thank you for being that rock for me. Thank you
2:20
Speaker 1: for being a dear friend and my cheerleader. I'm mean
2:22
Speaker 1: to start the waterworks show this early in the show, but.
2:29
Speaker 2: You know what, you are so welcome and thank you.
2:33
Speaker 2: Right in those moments where you could have gave up,
2:39
Speaker 2: you were navigating so many things in life, and we're
2:43
Speaker 2: here today, so I appreciate you. Y'all. We reunited.
2:48
Speaker 1: Okay, it has been a minute, so Carly God, I know,
2:52
Speaker 1: as I mentioned in the beginning, that you've been on
2:54
Speaker 1: the show, this is I think your third time coming on,
2:58
Speaker 1: and I think the last time you were on was
3:00
Speaker 1: maybe twenty twenty three because I had taken a two
3:02
Speaker 1: year break from hosting the show after my mom transition.
3:06
Speaker 1: And I'm curious, Carlika, where are we now with the
3:10
Speaker 1: conversation on men and pause? How is it in the workplace?
3:14
Speaker 1: How are women responding from an advocacy standpoint? Is there
3:20
Speaker 1: still dismissal of symptoms when they're at their appointments? Where
3:25
Speaker 1: are we at today, Carlika, I will.
3:28
Speaker 2: Say definitely, from when I first was thrown into mental
3:32
Speaker 2: palls up until now, we have definitely moved forward. Right
3:36
Speaker 2: So you even see in some shows they'll mention it
3:39
Speaker 2: briefly and different things. When it comes to it, we
3:43
Speaker 2: still have a ways to go, because I do believe
3:46
Speaker 2: and we see just through conversation surveys and different things.
3:50
Speaker 2: A lot of women are still silent and a lot
3:52
Speaker 2: of women are still struggling, right, And it's trying to
3:55
Speaker 2: get from that surface level information and really get made
4:00
Speaker 2: your breakthroughs on an individual level. And I say individual
4:04
Speaker 2: because every woman does not experience mental palls the same way,
4:08
Speaker 2: whether you're im paerimental paus, you're post mental pause a woman,
4:11
Speaker 2: whatever that looks like. And so there are still conversations
4:15
Speaker 2: to be had. We steal in these streets talking about
4:19
Speaker 2: mental paws and the just not the symptoms, right, because
4:23
Speaker 2: a lot of times people get so fixated on symptoms
4:26
Speaker 2: and their aspects of it that we're not addressing such
4:29
Speaker 2: as the mental and the emotional aspect. We're not just
4:33
Speaker 2: talking about grab your fan and you know, cool off
4:36
Speaker 2: and all of these things, which that is important, but
4:39
Speaker 2: it's really saying how do we get to the root
4:41
Speaker 2: calls and then even bringing in conversations rather it's about
4:45
Speaker 2: your hair, your your teeth, all of the things, right,
4:50
Speaker 2: So it's not just hot flashes and night sweats and
4:53
Speaker 2: weight gain, and those are still prevalent issues that women
4:56
Speaker 2: are bringing up, but we're focused more on the whole
5:00
Speaker 2: person from like they say in church, let's go to
5:02
Speaker 2: church for a meaning from the crown of your head
5:04
Speaker 2: to the soles of your feet, right, And so having
5:07
Speaker 2: those conversations so that we can quit just being on
5:10
Speaker 2: the surface level, but let's get to the root of
5:13
Speaker 2: your emotional dysfunction.
5:15
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, And Carlika, one of the things that I
5:18
Speaker 1: just thought about too, is you mentioned that there's more
5:21
Speaker 1: and more podcast social media content centered around menopause, whether
5:26
Speaker 1: it's the symptoms, the mental strain that comes with it,
5:31
Speaker 1: the probably feeling distant, the possible gas lighting at appointments.
5:37
Speaker 1: And I'm curious, do you think that having the influx
5:41
Speaker 1: of information available is doing harm or more good in
5:48
Speaker 1: some regard?
5:50
Speaker 2: So one, you always want to look for reputable sources.
5:53
Speaker 2: So with anything, right, it's like eating good. Right, let's
5:58
Speaker 2: just go down to the basics. But if you still
6:01
Speaker 2: eat too much of a good thing, it could end
6:04
Speaker 2: up being a bad thing, right, and especially dependent on
6:08
Speaker 2: your body and how often you're eating, the time, all
6:10
Speaker 2: of these things. So I do believe it's the same
6:12
Speaker 2: way with mental pause. There's so much information. Right, we
6:15
Speaker 2: went from being a secret society quiet on the creek.
6:23
Speaker 1: We're all on the matrix high.
6:27
Speaker 2: So and now it's information overload, and so people are
6:32
Speaker 2: getting confused, they're getting misinformed, and their problem is still
6:36
Speaker 2: not being solved. And even the piggyback on what you said.
6:39
Speaker 2: Even at doctor's office, I just had a consultation called Wednesday, Okay,
6:44
Speaker 2: that would be yesterday, right, Wednesday, actually Tuesday and Wednesday,
6:50
Speaker 2: and one lady was like her doctor was like, you're
6:54
Speaker 2: not in mental pause, she said, but I'm having all
6:56
Speaker 2: of these symptoms this, that and the third she said.
6:59
Speaker 2: So I left, I said, confused, disappointed, and she was
7:04
Speaker 2: like yeah, she was like so now right and so right.
7:11
Speaker 2: So you're finding that there's information, but you always want
7:14
Speaker 2: to ve where your information is coming from. There's product overload, right,
7:23
Speaker 2: product let me say it again, product overloads. So people
7:26
Speaker 2: are becoming product junkies because women who are in mental pause,
7:31
Speaker 2: you're just they're looking for relief, right, So they're like,
7:34
Speaker 2: let me buy this, and all of the commercials and
7:36
Speaker 2: all of the things that someone saying, let's slap a
7:39
Speaker 2: label this care is menal call, right, and it's just like,
7:45
Speaker 2: are you sure what's like, what's in this? What what
7:48
Speaker 2: is hard? And so not really knowing and having and
7:51
Speaker 2: having those conversations with the right people to see what
7:55
Speaker 2: is it that your body particularly needs.
7:59
Speaker 1: Right and and to go along with some of your
8:02
Speaker 1: other health ailments. Right, as you mentioned, menopause is not
8:06
Speaker 1: cookie cutter for anybody, and so my symptoms may look
8:12
Speaker 1: different than yours. Even though I'm not quote unquote in
8:16
Speaker 1: menopause at my age yet, but I mean I could
8:19
Speaker 1: potentially encounter some perimenopause symptoms. And Carl could let's talk
8:25
Speaker 1: about this. You brought up about the consultation that you
8:27
Speaker 1: had on Tuesday and Wednesday today's and I'm curious. I'm
8:35
Speaker 1: curious with as women are going to appointments and feeling
8:40
Speaker 1: that frustration, the disappointment. I'm sure some of them are
8:43
Speaker 1: probably balling their eyes out on their car because maybe
8:46
Speaker 1: this is their fourth or fifth appointment that they've been to.
8:52
Speaker 1: What do you recommend that they do other than possibly
8:56
Speaker 1: have an advocate with them in the room, right, you know,
9:01
Speaker 1: bring their medications with them, Possibly have a log of
9:06
Speaker 1: how long their symptoms have been going on for. I'd
9:09
Speaker 1: say maybe ninety days, maybe even thirty days, depending on
9:12
Speaker 1: how severe they are. But what else can women do
9:16
Speaker 1: to really advocate for Hey, I have a right to
9:20
Speaker 1: be here. I paid for the service, So don't just
9:23
Speaker 1: dismiss me and turn me away just because you can't
9:27
Speaker 1: treat me. Then find someone else who can.
9:31
Speaker 2: Absolutely, and even and let's just back up, even if
9:36
Speaker 2: you're feeling like you can't pay, maybe you don't have insurance, right,
9:40
Speaker 2: there are resources. You just got to probably do a
9:43
Speaker 2: little digging. And this is why I say do some
9:45
Speaker 2: research for yourself. How do you become the biggest advocate
9:48
Speaker 2: for yourself? Readers? Leaders are readers, right, And I'm not
9:53
Speaker 2: saying go to YouTube and look at all the YouTube
9:57
Speaker 2: videos and all the TikTok videos and all of the things.
10:00
Speaker 2: But concerning your body and when we really individualize this
10:06
Speaker 2: as this is my mental pausal journey, not the baseline
10:09
Speaker 2: of society, not the baseline from certain ethnicity groups and
10:14
Speaker 2: all of these different things or the research that's out there.
10:17
Speaker 2: What is my family medical history? Right? What is my
10:21
Speaker 2: current health looking like? Because there are some diseases or
10:25
Speaker 2: there's some things such as autoimmune diseases loop is, or
10:29
Speaker 2: when you have your thyroid remove that can mimic mental
10:33
Speaker 2: pausal symptoms. Right, someone who's had chemotherapy, radiation, they can
10:38
Speaker 2: end up having definitely mental pausal symptoms. And so one
10:41
Speaker 2: track and trend. Get you a notebook, Get you a book,
10:44
Speaker 2: or put it in your handy Danny phone. Put you
10:46
Speaker 2: some notes in there that when you go to your appointments.
10:51
Speaker 2: Don't be afraid to bring these things up. Don't be
10:53
Speaker 2: afraid to say, hey, I'm dealing with ABC to collect
10:57
Speaker 2: your own data. And that's where I think a lot
11:00
Speaker 2: of people sometimes fall short of, let me collect my
11:04
Speaker 2: own data. What does that look like? Dates, times, symptoms,
11:09
Speaker 2: What were you thinking? What were you doing? Are you
11:11
Speaker 2: stressed out? And it's not just those symptoms, but what's
11:15
Speaker 2: the root of it? Are you going through some financial struggles?
11:18
Speaker 2: Are you dealing with grief? Because certain stimuli can definitely
11:22
Speaker 2: add to heightened anxiety, more frequent hot flashes, right, or
11:28
Speaker 2: even hair thinning, right, And so a lot of times
11:31
Speaker 2: we're not monitoringing our best when it even comes to
11:35
Speaker 2: stress management. What were you thinking when you had that
11:38
Speaker 2: hot flash? What were you eating? Did you go move today?
11:41
Speaker 2: Did you and I'm not just talking about from the
11:43
Speaker 2: bed to the bathroom unless that's your restrictions or something,
11:46
Speaker 2: but hey, what does some of the basic things in
11:49
Speaker 2: my life look like, what do my daily habits look like?
11:52
Speaker 2: And then take that ask questions because a lot of
11:56
Speaker 2: times people get fearful of asking questions because that's the
12:00
Speaker 2: But girl, you the doctor of your own body.
12:04
Speaker 1: Say that again for the people in the back.
12:07
Speaker 2: You're the doctor for your own body. You're with you
12:10
Speaker 2: longer than you're gonna be in the waiting room, all
12:14
Speaker 2: the way to the back room to the time that
12:17
Speaker 2: you leave the office. You're still with you longer. And
12:21
Speaker 2: so even if it's brain fag, you feel like, okay,
12:23
Speaker 2: I'm forgetting things and jot all of these things down.
12:27
Speaker 2: And like you said, Portia, if you're feeling dismissed or
12:30
Speaker 2: your doctor's like, well, maybe you're just depressed and you're
12:32
Speaker 2: trying to diegnose me with something that I'm not depressed.
12:35
Speaker 2: I'm perfectly fine. I'm just having this. Then, like you said,
12:39
Speaker 2: do some research, find someone else.
12:43
Speaker 1: Yeah, and don't be afraid to bring someone with you.
12:45
Speaker 1: I'm always a strong proponent for that, especially now, because
12:49
Speaker 1: you just never know. You might be having an off day, Carlika,
12:53
Speaker 1: where the brain fog is too much, where the questions
12:56
Speaker 1: that you normally would ask if you're a type a person.
12:59
Speaker 1: Now you're on it like ABCDFG. Right, but maybe you
13:03
Speaker 1: need somebody there with you who knows a little bit
13:07
Speaker 1: of your history, right.
13:08
Speaker 2: That ask them, because what you find sometimes in doctors'
13:13
Speaker 2: offices and different things, people got to realize, we're thankful,
13:18
Speaker 2: but we don't need all of the scientific wording either.
13:22
Speaker 2: So if it's something that you don't understand, you don't
13:25
Speaker 2: need to wait till you leave the office to be like,
13:27
Speaker 2: what did he or she mean by this? Ask the
13:30
Speaker 2: men talk to me like you're talking to a fifth grade. Okay,
13:33
Speaker 2: and that's not demeaning anyone's mental capabilities or educational framework
13:39
Speaker 2: or anything. But talk to me like you're talking to
13:42
Speaker 2: a fifth grader. Break it all the way down to
13:44
Speaker 2: the lowest term that I can understand that I don't leave, like, oh,
13:48
Speaker 2: let me look this up. Write down your questions, because
13:51
Speaker 2: sometimes when you get in there, things are going fast. Right,
13:55
Speaker 2: you're not getting ready to sit back there talking to
13:57
Speaker 2: the doctor for an hour.
14:00
Speaker 1: Okay, you get lucky if you get what ten minutes?
14:03
Speaker 1: If you lucky fifteen.
14:05
Speaker 2: If they you know you got some type of rapport.
14:07
Speaker 2: But even then they like anything else.
14:09
Speaker 1: Okay, here's right here you go, here's your.
14:13
Speaker 2: See even a year and not realizing in a year
14:16
Speaker 2: so much can change in your body in six months.
14:18
Speaker 2: It's like I equated to all of us have blood
14:23
Speaker 2: running through our vedies. But if all of us got
14:26
Speaker 2: a complete blood panel, your CBC's or your white blood
14:32
Speaker 2: cells gonna look different from mine. Right, your red blood
14:36
Speaker 2: cell count is gonna look different from mine. It's still
14:38
Speaker 2: all blood. So yes, we're going through mental pause. But
14:41
Speaker 2: your levels versus bi levels versus areas that I may
14:44
Speaker 2: be deficient in, you may be higher in my lifestyle. Okay,
14:49
Speaker 2: all of these things play a role in the entire
14:53
Speaker 2: picture and in our total well being.
14:56
Speaker 1: Right, your entire menopausal ecosystem. Right, And Carlika, before we
15:01
Speaker 1: continue with the conversation, if someone in our audience wants
15:05
Speaker 1: to connect with you, learn about your work, if you
15:08
Speaker 1: have any upcoming talks or something, how can our audience
15:11
Speaker 1: connect with you today?
15:13
Speaker 2: Well, today, you can definitely just find me on social media, Carlika,
15:18
Speaker 2: past night, money and dance. Okay, just start type in
15:21
Speaker 2: car and keep on going, going going, and you can
15:24
Speaker 2: find me there as well, and you can connect with
15:27
Speaker 2: me in box me or whatever the case may be.
15:30
Speaker 1: Yeah, Carlika will respond, y'all, it is her. She you know,
15:35
Speaker 1: she's not a figuring in your imagination. She is real, Carlika.
15:38
Speaker 1: One of the things that I thought about, too, is
15:42
Speaker 1: that you do things to educate in the workplace, and
15:45
Speaker 1: I'm curious, what would a truly menopausal workplace inclusive space
15:52
Speaker 1: look like.
15:53
Speaker 2: Ooh, that is a great question. So one once again,
15:57
Speaker 2: it's not just the symptoms, because everyone's can be different
16:01
Speaker 2: from today till tomorrow to next week, next year, right,
16:06
Speaker 2: But it's more so sustainability, vitality, retention, and so how
16:12
Speaker 2: do we retain talent, How do we attract new talent
16:16
Speaker 2: while addressing because when I say this, I pray I
16:19
Speaker 2: don't hurt anyone's feelings. Every woman won't go every woman
16:23
Speaker 2: won't deal with breast cancer or any form of cancer, right,
16:28
Speaker 2: every woman will go through menopause, and so even in
16:33
Speaker 2: the workplaces, it will be pretty hard to address every
16:38
Speaker 2: single you know, human disease or whatever the case may be. Right,
16:45
Speaker 2: it was, so when we think of that inclusive, we're
16:47
Speaker 2: talking about as a as a company, as a team,
16:50
Speaker 2: the employee and the employer. How do we bridge the
16:55
Speaker 2: gap between our health and wellness. When we're talking about
17:00
Speaker 2: women who are typically going through mental pause, and this
17:04
Speaker 2: is not always because I was only thirty. They're at
17:08
Speaker 2: the height of their careers right a lot of them,
17:11
Speaker 2: or they're afraid to go up for another promotion and
17:15
Speaker 2: different things because they don't want to be judged. And
17:18
Speaker 2: because we used to correlate so much mental pause, the
17:21
Speaker 2: stigma of aging that you own, a lot of people
17:24
Speaker 2: only equated it to old age, big quotation marks because
17:30
Speaker 2: I was, like I said, I was thirty. That wasn't old, right.
17:34
Speaker 2: I know young women younger than me who are having
17:37
Speaker 2: surgery hysterectu mes partial or total. And so when we
17:40
Speaker 2: think of the work, because even that alone is not
17:43
Speaker 2: just FMLA, it's not just okay, when you'll be back.
17:49
Speaker 2: But unfortunately that's what a lot of employers still do,
17:52
Speaker 2: okay when you leave over and not thinking of the
17:55
Speaker 2: emotional turmoil it could have on people psychologically, and you know,
18:00
Speaker 2: even the physical changes that may not happen right then
18:04
Speaker 2: and there on the spot, but gradually, right, gradual changes,
18:09
Speaker 2: but really saying you know what we see you. We
18:13
Speaker 2: want to have the conversations, We want to make this
18:15
Speaker 2: part of our health and wellness as a hold such
18:20
Speaker 2: as a employee resource group, but ERG or something like
18:24
Speaker 2: that that says, hey, you have resources. So in the workplace,
18:27
Speaker 2: what we're seeing, you're still not seeing a lot of
18:31
Speaker 2: resources that you know, if someone was getting ready to
18:35
Speaker 2: commit you know what and alive themselves, there's a phone number,
18:40
Speaker 2: there's this, right, and so we have various resources. And
18:44
Speaker 2: so I think a lot of people are still not
18:46
Speaker 2: aware what may be available in their community, what possibly
18:50
Speaker 2: could be available in the workplace.
18:52
Speaker 1: You just got to adds asking and also Carliga, let's
18:57
Speaker 1: throw in this monkey wrench that when there's women CEOs
19:02
Speaker 1: that are head of the company that have the ability
19:06
Speaker 1: to implement these different resource groups. Right, I think about
19:11
Speaker 1: a menopausal inclusive workplace would have a space for maybe
19:16
Speaker 1: you're having a brain fog, Dan, you need quiet, a
19:19
Speaker 1: quiet room for a little while, right, maybe right right
19:26
Speaker 1: as a your fan, right, I mean? And maybe two,
19:29
Speaker 1: it's also having something monthly right where women can come
19:35
Speaker 1: together and just talk. Because you spend the most time
19:39
Speaker 1: at work away from your family, your kids.
19:42
Speaker 2: Support right now, because support looks different, is not just
19:46
Speaker 2: at home. It's not just in the community. Support is
19:49
Speaker 2: in the workplace. You know, I'm sure both of us
19:52
Speaker 2: can attest to that. Even at work. While we're doing
19:56
Speaker 2: our job, we're doing another job executive co We're doing
20:01
Speaker 2: another job, you know, conforting someone, We're doing another job
20:05
Speaker 2: of being a listening ear right, it's doing a lot
20:09
Speaker 2: of jobs if you really look at it. A lot
20:12
Speaker 2: of people don't have executive coaching. So I've only been
20:15
Speaker 2: to a few places that once a week or so
20:18
Speaker 2: once a week or once a month that have like
20:20
Speaker 2: massage therapists coming in. Now you've got to sign up
20:23
Speaker 2: for it at different things, right, right, And the facility
20:28
Speaker 2: I'm at now, they had someone come in and I
20:30
Speaker 2: was like, now, what if they have someone come in
20:32
Speaker 2: every week or every other week just to do some
20:36
Speaker 2: executive coaching where people can just have a conversation with
20:41
Speaker 2: someone who's not part of HR. Because if y'all have
20:45
Speaker 2: not noticed, team members are not talking to HR because
20:48
Speaker 2: HR is for the company, right, But having someone come
20:53
Speaker 2: in that can really tackle and have conversations about some
20:57
Speaker 2: of the invisible friction that before certain things even have
21:00
Speaker 2: to go to HR, can it be resolved?
21:03
Speaker 1: Right?
21:04
Speaker 2: Someone saying they're having brainfall? Most people are not even
21:07
Speaker 2: gonna say anything to their direct managers or anyone, because
21:10
Speaker 2: you don't want to feel embarrassed. You don't feel like
21:12
Speaker 2: there's a target on your back. You don't want to
21:14
Speaker 2: feel like people are Oh she wants special accommodations. No,
21:17
Speaker 2: I just need to walk out and cool off. I'm
21:18
Speaker 2: not taking an extra break.
21:19
Speaker 1: I'm hot, right, I don't want to start. It's getting
21:24
Speaker 1: hot in here, and I'm not trying to take off
21:26
Speaker 1: all my clothes at work because I mean, look, that's
21:29
Speaker 1: not appropriate and I end up getting right right right.
21:34
Speaker 2: Draining. It can be physically and mentally draining, especially depending
21:39
Speaker 2: on how frequent. And we're just talking about hot flashes,
21:42
Speaker 2: how frequent they are in different things. So you got
21:46
Speaker 2: people eyeballing and watching she taking another break, She taking
21:49
Speaker 2: another walk. Well, maybe I need to reset, right, I
21:52
Speaker 2: need to reset my entire nervous system. And I call
21:56
Speaker 2: it the Awe method. We're gonna get some air, we're
21:58
Speaker 2: gonna drink some water, and we're gonna take a walk.
22:00
Speaker 2: That only takes a few seconds to reset your entire
22:04
Speaker 2: nervous system. So now I'm in a better mental space
22:08
Speaker 2: that I can focus get my job done. And here
22:13
Speaker 2: you are if someone taking another break and you see
22:18
Speaker 2: them sweating, baby, let me tell y'all some leaning, because
22:20
Speaker 2: if you see me sweating and I'm having a hot flash,
22:22
Speaker 2: I'm walking out and ha, I've had to. I remember
22:28
Speaker 2: one facility that I was working at and the AC
22:32
Speaker 2: was broke summer now, and one of the supervisors was like,
22:43
Speaker 2: I was just sitting there complaining baby, because I had
22:46
Speaker 2: the little neck fan I had cleaning like and I
22:49
Speaker 2: would go to my car and blast my air if
22:52
Speaker 2: I needed to. But she was like, well, we're not.
22:57
Speaker 2: They're not getting the air fix no time soon.
23:02
Speaker 1: Well no pun intended. That's brosty like.
23:05
Speaker 2: And then I felt like, why are you telling me
23:10
Speaker 2: because someone you are walking around here with your grandpants
23:12
Speaker 2: rolled up like a prieze and all these different things.
23:16
Speaker 1: Wait flooding all us high like when we.
23:20
Speaker 2: But this just goes to show until the heat and
23:24
Speaker 2: different things really bothered even her. It was it was
23:28
Speaker 2: laughter right because hot she taking her lap car on
23:33
Speaker 2: It was funny. I wasn't ashamed, and I'm going to
23:37
Speaker 2: my car to cool off since y'all don't have no
23:38
Speaker 2: AC in here, right, But that shouldn't even been the
23:42
Speaker 2: case that shouldn't even have been a conversation. This should
23:44
Speaker 2: have been top propority. Not just for me, but what
23:47
Speaker 2: about someone else who may have another medical or underlying.
23:51
Speaker 1: Condition right where they can't be in all that heat
23:55
Speaker 1: and you know they might start having fun because what
23:58
Speaker 1: is it? Don't you start to develop something if it's
24:01
Speaker 1: too hot where you kind of get like vertigo symptoms
24:04
Speaker 1: of some sort.
24:05
Speaker 2: You can get dizzy, you can feel like you're going
24:06
Speaker 2: to pass out. That's even dealing with I mean, and
24:10
Speaker 2: I say even underlying issues or issues they're aware of
24:14
Speaker 2: that can impact someone's blood pressure. You don't know what
24:17
Speaker 2: everyone else may be dealing with, right, And so it's saying,
24:21
Speaker 2: let's at minimum workplaces, can we start having a conversation
24:26
Speaker 2: even if you started in October when it's Mental Pause Awareness.
24:29
Speaker 1: Month, right right, I mean, because that's the perfect time
24:34
Speaker 1: because it's already trending in the ethos on social media,
24:38
Speaker 1: You've got campaigns already, so why not.
24:42
Speaker 2: As I can tell you, it's still not there. There's
24:45
Speaker 2: a lot of workplaces. There are some who got on board,
24:51
Speaker 2: and once again you are we're talking about sustainability, we're
24:54
Speaker 2: talking about vitality, we're talking about retention. We're talking about
24:57
Speaker 2: your bottom line.
24:58
Speaker 1: Okay, says she knows all too well. Hello, Eve, right.
25:03
Speaker 2: We're talking ultimately about your bottom line as well, and
25:08
Speaker 2: so your turnover rates and all of these different things.
25:11
Speaker 2: Or the women in like you said, executive positions, they
25:14
Speaker 2: got one foot out the door, one foot the in.
25:16
Speaker 2: Some people look so it's it's it's real conversations. I'm
25:21
Speaker 2: telling you, you know how everyone had the stuff going
25:23
Speaker 2: on the digital screens. I have yet to be at
25:26
Speaker 2: a facility in October that I've seen and I'll be seeing.
25:32
Speaker 2: I'm like, so, did you know right?
25:36
Speaker 1: Did you know like the lower body his mouth, Yeah,
25:42
Speaker 1: the right, Carlica. Let me just say that this has
25:45
Speaker 1: been a fantastic conversation and always with you. There's one
25:50
Speaker 1: more thing I want to touch on really quick, and
25:52
Speaker 1: this is a different take on menopause. I think we
25:55
Speaker 1: tend to focus on all of the symptoms that are debilitating, right,
25:58
Speaker 1: the hot flashes, the anxiety, the heart palpitations, the hair thinning,
26:04
Speaker 1: you know, all these other things. But I'm curious, Carliker,
26:08
Speaker 1: for you, as the women that you've worked with, have
26:13
Speaker 1: many of them shared possibly some of the benefits that
26:17
Speaker 1: have come from their mental pause or journey of maybe
26:20
Speaker 1: it's them coming back home to themselves, right, being more
26:26
Speaker 1: stronger in who they are, setting boundaries and really instead
26:31
Speaker 1: of staying in that space of all the symptoms, really
26:37
Speaker 1: blossoming through this new change in their life.
26:42
Speaker 2: Absolutely, and even for myself, I look at mental pauls
26:45
Speaker 2: and that's why I say, sometimes when we change our
26:48
Speaker 2: perspective of things, right, of course we want the education.
26:51
Speaker 2: And once again, we don't just have to focus on symptoms.
26:54
Speaker 2: And I'm not saying don't address them. My model is
26:59
Speaker 2: biology and vice. Okay, where for every symptom there is
27:03
Speaker 2: a solution, and there is a scripture. Go read your Bible,
27:06
Speaker 2: go find it on Google. You can find a scripture. Right.
27:11
Speaker 2: I don't have time today to give y'all a list
27:13
Speaker 2: of scriptures, but if you want a list, I got
27:15
Speaker 2: a list for you. But I do believe that because
27:19
Speaker 2: it's about changing your perspective, and you're right, women have
27:22
Speaker 2: shared that, you know what. I feel more confident even
27:25
Speaker 2: having the conversation. I feel more confident in walking boldly
27:30
Speaker 2: and finding who I truly am at my core, because
27:34
Speaker 2: if we're real through life's journeys and transitions and mental pauses.
27:38
Speaker 2: Another transition, Porsche, I had a lady. I did a
27:41
Speaker 2: session for the Center for Black Women as well and
27:43
Speaker 2: as out of Atlanta, and a lady said, well, when
27:46
Speaker 2: is it over? I said, well, once you're a postminal
27:51
Speaker 2: pausel Okay. It's like if you're a mom or anything,
27:56
Speaker 2: when you stop being a mom, you don't I said,
28:00
Speaker 2: But don't look at it as oh my god, this
28:03
Speaker 2: is never going to end. It's like our journey even
28:07
Speaker 2: with Christ. Just because you got saved yesterday, okay, there's
28:14
Speaker 2: still a faith journey to carry you through life. And
28:18
Speaker 2: so even with mental pause, this is a rebirthing. This
28:22
Speaker 2: is a rejuvenation. This is a renewal that you're like,
28:25
Speaker 2: you know what, I really know who I am and
28:28
Speaker 2: I truly love who I am and who I am becoming.
28:32
Speaker 2: Because once again, we're on a journey. So don't look
28:34
Speaker 2: for an endpoint. Just note that I'm on a journey.
28:38
Speaker 2: And in this journey, I get to choose boundaries. I
28:41
Speaker 2: get to choose who's around me. I get to choose
28:43
Speaker 2: who I've desire to talk to. I get to choose
28:47
Speaker 2: how I want to maneuver in life. And even when
28:50
Speaker 2: challenges are thrown at us because minto Paul is not
28:54
Speaker 2: your first transition, not gonna be your last. Mental pause
28:57
Speaker 2: is not the only hard thing that we have had
29:01
Speaker 2: to endure in life. But when we look back on
29:04
Speaker 2: some of those things, it's like, you know what, I'm
29:06
Speaker 2: here right now, So what am I going to do?
29:08
Speaker 2: Now me, I'm gonna walk boldly and courageously and keep
29:11
Speaker 2: talking about mental pause. I'm gonna keep teaching women and
29:14
Speaker 2: empowering women that, you know what, we don't have to
29:18
Speaker 2: This is not a death sentence, right, This is life. Right,
29:23
Speaker 2: This is life, and life is to be enjoyed. And
29:26
Speaker 2: sometimes we have to get back to some of the basics.
29:29
Speaker 2: So even if you're not a mental pausal woman, perimenttal
29:32
Speaker 2: pause or postmintal pausel those basics of getting good sleep,
29:36
Speaker 2: that's universal, eating well, universal learning how to manage your stress,
29:41
Speaker 2: because we weren't really taught that, right, So now you
29:45
Speaker 2: let go, you uproot some things and let those things go,
29:48
Speaker 2: but then you replace and with some more nourishing things.
29:52
Speaker 2: That's going to not just for the weekend, not just
29:54
Speaker 2: for when you going on summer vacation, but for your
29:57
Speaker 2: day to day living.
30:00
Speaker 1: That part the uprooting of some of those hobbies that
30:04
Speaker 1: we fell into, right, And I think again, you just
30:07
Speaker 1: hit the nail on the head, Carlika. Maybe this is
30:10
Speaker 1: that point of you pausing some of those old things
30:13
Speaker 1: that no longer work, pull them up and regroup, absolutely,
30:19
Speaker 1: and be okay with the pivot, the transition of how
30:23
Speaker 1: that looks and being open to coming back to you
30:26
Speaker 1: because so many of us we lose ourselves and the
30:29
Speaker 1: roles that we play, right, Carlika, we talked about being
30:32
Speaker 1: execs of our companies, being a parent, being a spouse.
30:37
Speaker 1: Then if you you know, are part of a sorority
30:40
Speaker 1: or other type of community, you're you're playing a role there.
30:44
Speaker 1: So it's like sometimes we have to take that pause,
30:47
Speaker 1: that step back in order to take that step forward. Absolutely, well,
30:52
Speaker 1: everybody go ahead.
30:53
Speaker 2: I mean I feel amazing. Okay, I don't know about
30:55
Speaker 2: y'all out there, but your girl feel good. And I
30:59
Speaker 2: want to anyone else to Porscha. I told someone the
31:02
Speaker 2: other day, I'm the person that I was looking for
31:08
Speaker 2: sixteen plus years ago. I'm that person that needed a
31:13
Speaker 2: listening ear. So I became a listening ear. I'm the
31:16
Speaker 2: person that needed someone to pray for me when I'm
31:19
Speaker 2: just like, what's going on here? I'm that person, right,
31:23
Speaker 2: I'm the person that I was looking for years ago
31:27
Speaker 2: and I could not find anywhere. So I became that
31:32
Speaker 2: person for so many women, and I'm excited about the journey,
31:36
Speaker 2: like we just getting started that part.
31:38
Speaker 1: You became who you needed and not. That will sum
31:43
Speaker 1: up this conversation today. Well, everybody that was miss carligabas night.
31:49
Speaker 1: Menanda's just all of that that you heard from today
31:53
Speaker 1: on this episode that grew a portie. And that concludes
31:56
Speaker 1: our conversation until next time. Everybody piece and hargres everyone