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Transcript

CONFESSION SESSION · Relatables

0:00
Speaker 1: Alrighty everybody, I am excited for this one. This is
0:05
Speaker 1: bringing back a little bit of a classic on relatables, Jake,
0:08
Speaker 1: haven't done it for a while, haven't we Confession Sessions,
0:11
Speaker 1: And what we used to do was full hour long episodes.
0:16
Speaker 1: We call our lovely listeners and they get to tell
0:19
Speaker 1: their story, which I love because we get to interact
0:22
Speaker 1: with our fans and get to like hear the voices
0:24
Speaker 1: behind the people listening.
0:25
Speaker 2: And it could be anonymous. It doesn't have to be anonymous.
0:27
Speaker 2: It's up to you.
0:28
Speaker 1: Yeah. And the old premise used to be we have
0:31
Speaker 1: a topic and every single story goes along that topic. So,
0:34
Speaker 1: for example, Jake's favorite one is when You've got to go,
0:37
Speaker 1: you gotta go, Yes, But for this episode, it is
0:40
Speaker 1: completely random, up to them. The story can come from anywhere. So,
0:46
Speaker 1: without further adow, this is Confession Sessens. Please enjoy relatable
1:02
Speaker 1: Hello and welcome to Confession Sessions. How are you hello?
1:07
Speaker 3: Yes, I'm good you guys, good to.
1:08
Speaker 4: Hear, we're good.
1:10
Speaker 1: Good to my left over here, Thanks for joining. I'm
1:12
Speaker 1: excited for today.
1:13
Speaker 2: We would like to ask if you would like to
1:16
Speaker 2: be anonymous for this confession.
1:18
Speaker 3: Oh yes, please too, easy.
1:21
Speaker 2: All right, Audie, let's pick of a name for this loveymous.
1:26
Speaker 1: I mean, the story is going to be good. I'm
1:28
Speaker 1: feeling like Angelica. Angelica. What do you think of Angelica? Okay, okay,
1:38
Speaker 1: well it's not like they're going to say that.
1:40
Speaker 2: Yeah, you can tell us that she is another one
1:42
Speaker 2: if you want, But okay, Angelica, I would I reached
1:47
Speaker 2: out to you for this one, and I would title
1:49
Speaker 2: this story as a when you gotta go, you gotta
1:52
Speaker 2: go motorbike ndition.
1:56
Speaker 3: Yeah that sounds good.
1:58
Speaker 2: Yeah, so take it from the top there is. Yeah,
2:00
Speaker 2: just tell us all the details and we'll interact with you.
2:03
Speaker 2: And you know, no story is a bad story. They're
2:06
Speaker 2: all good over here.
2:08
Speaker 5: Right, Okay.
2:09
Speaker 3: So, so I was in a relationship situationship situation and
2:19
Speaker 3: we worked together. That's where we met. So I was
2:23
Speaker 3: one day he wanted to take me on a bike ride.
2:26
Speaker 3: So he's a he rides motorbike and he had just
2:29
Speaker 3: brought a new adventure dirt bike, sing me yeah. But
2:35
Speaker 3: the only day that we were both available was the
2:38
Speaker 3: day after I finished work. Okay, So I was working.
2:44
Speaker 3: We're going to meet up after work. He's going to
2:46
Speaker 3: pick me straight up from our workplace. Yeah, and then
2:51
Speaker 3: he and so I was just working doing my own things,
2:55
Speaker 3: and then, you know, I kind of just felt like
2:58
Speaker 3: I needed to let one rip. So I just happened
3:04
Speaker 3: to wander away a little bit from people, so I
3:06
Speaker 3: could just split it out, you know.
3:08
Speaker 4: As you do.
3:09
Speaker 1: As you do, that's good, and I like that as
3:11
Speaker 1: you do, that's relatable. Rip one out there.
3:15
Speaker 3: Unfortunately, though, it was not just a fart, and I
3:22
Speaker 3: quite literally chipped myself.
3:24
Speaker 1: Oh god, wait, what have you been eating like that day?
3:31
Speaker 1: Why do you like not know that it was just
3:34
Speaker 1: a far? Yeah, usually you know, usually you know, yeah,
3:37
Speaker 1: like lad like Indian food, the dart before or something.
3:41
Speaker 3: No, I'm thinking it might have been the last air
3:43
Speaker 3: I had earlier that morning.
3:45
Speaker 4: Okay, the coffee.
3:46
Speaker 1: Coffee sometimes I actually, you.
3:48
Speaker 4: Know, I can vouch for that.
3:49
Speaker 1: You don't know how much caffeine.
3:50
Speaker 3: And yeah, well, luckily it wasn't that like, it wasn't
3:54
Speaker 3: a disastrous mess. It's just a little bit still fat enough.
3:58
Speaker 4: Ye got to hit the.
4:00
Speaker 3: Bathroom try and clean up. Meanwhile, I'm in the middle
4:03
Speaker 3: of my ship, like there wasn't much to go off there,
4:07
Speaker 3: So to go to the bathroom, I fucking try my
4:10
Speaker 3: best to try to clean up. So I cleaned myself
4:14
Speaker 3: up perfectly fine, but unfortunately a gang it's not as
4:19
Speaker 3: easy to clean in a toilet.
4:21
Speaker 6: Fair enough, So I did my best.
4:28
Speaker 1: What was it clean? Was it like toilet paper and
4:31
Speaker 1: the sink or like, what were you doing?
4:34
Speaker 3: Just toilet paper and just try and sort of like
4:38
Speaker 3: soak it up with the toilet paper.
4:39
Speaker 7: I guess.
4:41
Speaker 2: And then you had to finish a shift obviously, And
4:44
Speaker 2: where do you work?
4:46
Speaker 3: I work in retail.
4:47
Speaker 4: Okay, cool, cool, Yeah, we got a picture painted.
4:50
Speaker 3: Yeah, so that's what happened. I had to go about
4:53
Speaker 3: my ship. I was lucky that it was only a
4:57
Speaker 3: little bit of like I guess, the spray, you could say,
5:01
Speaker 3: and it wasn't too bad. But I still had a
5:03
Speaker 3: mark in my underwear with the whole day and at
5:08
Speaker 3: the end of my shift, I went about my work,
5:11
Speaker 3: but as I usually would, he picks me up. I
5:15
Speaker 3: would have liked to go home and change, but I couldn't.
5:18
Speaker 3: We live, like both of our houses are quite a
5:21
Speaker 3: distance from our workplace, and he was already there waiting,
5:25
Speaker 3: and I wasn't about to say, oh wait, I just
5:27
Speaker 3: got a dry forty minutes.
5:29
Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, fair enough.
5:35
Speaker 3: It was pretty much we just head off and do
5:37
Speaker 3: our little trips thing among the back of his bike.
5:40
Speaker 3: All well and good. We went and looked. It was
5:44
Speaker 3: pretty much view hunting, I would say, So it's stuff
5:47
Speaker 3: lookouts and stuff. We did a big track around different
5:50
Speaker 3: coastlines and headlands and bush lands and whatever. Yeah. Well, well,
5:59
Speaker 3: well I was at the time, I mean, wasn't so
6:01
Speaker 3: cute when he left me for another girl he met
6:03
Speaker 3: a week right anyway, So we stopped would like make
6:14
Speaker 3: out whatever at our stops, and then we'd head off again.
6:17
Speaker 3: One of the times I needed to teek that there
6:20
Speaker 3: was no toilet in the bush, so I went and
6:24
Speaker 3: I actually went ahead and I popped the squat and
6:28
Speaker 3: did my week. And then I seen I had forgotten
6:32
Speaker 3: about what happened previously. And as I was when I
6:36
Speaker 3: noticed that I still had a master, and I'm like,
6:39
Speaker 3: oh bugger. So what I actually ended up doing then
6:43
Speaker 3: was I had a leaf. I picked up a leaf,
6:47
Speaker 3: start on the leaf and tried to clean the mark.
6:50
Speaker 8: Okay, And the reason I did that was because me
6:59
Speaker 8: and this guy, we are quite we were quite an
7:02
Speaker 8: adventurous couple.
7:04
Speaker 3: Drives always sort of matched, and I guess you could
7:08
Speaker 3: say we're a bit of expeditionist. And I knew that
7:16
Speaker 3: that's just by the vibes and the way our little
7:18
Speaker 3: dirt white state was going. He was going to try
7:21
Speaker 3: and initiate something, and I was freaking out because I'm like,
7:25
Speaker 3: I don't want him to know this. This is disgusting.
7:28
Speaker 1: I didn't want to deny.
7:31
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's it anyway, So I continued on and then
7:35
Speaker 3: he stopped at no view spot at all. It was
7:38
Speaker 3: sort of just all a bush lands, and like, oh,
7:40
Speaker 3: here we go. He's going to try something here, and
7:45
Speaker 3: so he started to obviously like kiss me and touch
7:49
Speaker 3: you a little bit. And I was like, in my
7:50
Speaker 3: head like I was enjoying it. Like, don't get me wrong,
7:53
Speaker 3: I like that stuff. I was quite into it, but
7:56
Speaker 3: I still had this lingering feeling in the back of
7:59
Speaker 3: me that I couldn't let him know. And who, like
8:06
Speaker 3: this is a sentence he would probably never think anyone
8:08
Speaker 3: would say. But thank god there was Moses.
8:12
Speaker 5: Oh yes, so there was mossies.
8:18
Speaker 3: And I kept using them and skiffs. I'm Michael, let's
8:21
Speaker 3: not do it here, Like it's like, look at all
8:23
Speaker 3: these thugs for just fiting us. And he started flapping
8:26
Speaker 3: and clapping and killing all these multi families like there
8:29
Speaker 3: won't be any if we kill them all.
8:32
Speaker 1: Ready.
8:35
Speaker 3: Yeah, he was determined. Was I somehow convinced him without
8:44
Speaker 3: raising any questions. Eventually, ever continues on and again couple
8:50
Speaker 3: makeout sessions when we stop to look at these couple
8:53
Speaker 3: photos taken whatever else, But it was gonna happen again.
8:58
Speaker 3: He was gonna try in the shit once again. And
9:01
Speaker 3: like I feel like people might think that was like
9:03
Speaker 3: he's like forcing it or whatever, but it's what we
9:05
Speaker 3: would normally do normally. It's fine machine the time, you know.
9:12
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, we need to know.
9:16
Speaker 4: We need to know.
9:17
Speaker 1: Did and did he catch you? Did he?
9:19
Speaker 9: So?
9:20
Speaker 4: Like the anticipation's killing me.
9:22
Speaker 3: Yeah? No. So he initiated one more time, and I
9:27
Speaker 3: got caught up in the moment and I did end
9:29
Speaker 3: up doing it, but I was strategic about it. So
9:33
Speaker 3: we were on like a like in a really secluded place,
9:36
Speaker 3: and I ended up going on top. Oh okay, and
9:41
Speaker 3: I had feel like, you know, just hide my underwear
9:44
Speaker 3: under my pants or whatever, and then then he again
9:48
Speaker 3: decided to change positions. I was then bent over and
9:53
Speaker 3: my oh my god, next minute, he's going to see
9:56
Speaker 3: for sure. But he had never said anything, and I
9:59
Speaker 3: never said any think, so I will never know if
10:01
Speaker 3: he actually seen and noticed or not. He wouldn't have
10:05
Speaker 3: told me if he did, I don't think.
10:07
Speaker 1: So you kept your when you're doing the deed.
10:10
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, I had. I had them on, like fell
10:13
Speaker 3: still on one leg, so he just didn't see that.
10:17
Speaker 5: Yeah, So well I.
10:18
Speaker 3: Tried to hide him and such as I could, but
10:20
Speaker 3: be sort of complicated. So I'm just hoping I did
10:24
Speaker 3: a good enough job. I was hoping he was going
10:27
Speaker 3: to be distracted.
10:29
Speaker 1: So distracted way. I got to ask, Angelica, does it
10:31
Speaker 1: feel good to get that off your chest?
10:33
Speaker 3: Yes, I've never said it before, and like probably could
10:40
Speaker 3: just going on with it because it's like a bit
10:42
Speaker 3: anxious to talk about to do topics.
10:45
Speaker 1: Yeah, very much.
10:48
Speaker 4: That's funny.
10:49
Speaker 1: I'll tell you what I would have done. Yeah, if
10:51
Speaker 1: I was you, I would have like he would have
10:54
Speaker 1: taken a lot of balls, but like pushed him back
10:56
Speaker 1: and be like done a little seductive dance for him
10:59
Speaker 1: when completely naked, like got the undies off, I ripped
11:02
Speaker 1: them off, throwing them away. Well, yeah, because everything was
11:04
Speaker 1: clean apart from the undie Yeah yeah, yeah, and they're
11:07
Speaker 1: like all right, ready to go. And then when he's like,
11:10
Speaker 1: oh do you want yourn he's back now leaving.
11:12
Speaker 2: Yeah you sure, I'll go pick him up.
11:18
Speaker 1: I love this time. It's a good momentor it's sexy
11:21
Speaker 1: to free ball.
11:24
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's definitely an interesting time in my life.
11:27
Speaker 4: Oh that's a good story.
11:28
Speaker 2: Well look, hopefully you can tell some friends. Maybe it's
11:32
Speaker 2: a good it's a good it's a great story.
11:34
Speaker 3: Thanks for coming on, and no worries, thank you.
11:37
Speaker 1: See good day.
11:39
Speaker 4: Oh man.
11:41
Speaker 2: It was funny, like at the very start, she's like, okay,
11:43
Speaker 2: I ship myself, and then the whole story.
11:46
Speaker 1: I didn't know where it was going. I was like,
11:49
Speaker 1: I need to know if you ended up doing it.
11:51
Speaker 5: Please.
11:52
Speaker 1: I love the mental battle, like everyone does something like that.
11:55
Speaker 1: That's relatable, Like she she set herself. But even if
11:57
Speaker 1: you've got something going on in your body, like some
11:59
Speaker 1: skin something weird or a pimple bad that day, you think,
12:02
Speaker 1: I wonder if they're going to notice. I wonder if
12:03
Speaker 1: they're going to not.
12:04
Speaker 4: I want to cover that up best I can.
12:05
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, but I will. Yeah, like.
12:08
Speaker 2: It was you could hear her reliving the mental battles
12:12
Speaker 2: while telling.
12:13
Speaker 4: The story, and I was like, no, she's reliving this.
12:15
Speaker 4: I can't feel bad doing this to her.
12:16
Speaker 1: And nine times out of ten for any girls listening,
12:19
Speaker 1: as soon as the guys like about to have sex,
12:22
Speaker 1: he's loving it.
12:24
Speaker 4: No, he is loving it.
12:26
Speaker 1: As soon as he sees some boobs, anything he's kissing,
12:29
Speaker 1: he is like about it.
12:31
Speaker 2: Also, where they were like, He's he's obviously in the
12:35
Speaker 2: moment having sex with you, but you guys are out
12:37
Speaker 2: in the bush. Yeah, Like he's thinking, what a great story.
12:42
Speaker 1: It's so adventurous, it's very very spiry. Get my motorbike
12:46
Speaker 1: and we'll go have sex in the nature.
12:47
Speaker 2: I wonder if like a motorbike, you know, you know
12:51
Speaker 2: how I've never I don't know I have a motorbike
12:53
Speaker 2: license or anything like that, But I wonder if it
12:55
Speaker 2: is pretty sexy to just be like, oh, yeah, on
12:57
Speaker 2: the back of your man's motorbike, arms around here.
13:00
Speaker 1: We've done in BALI screwed the same premise. I'm sure
13:05
Speaker 1: bike's a bit more manly, but the scooter is still.
13:07
Speaker 2: You're just like going through these hills like view hunting,
13:09
Speaker 2: and you're like kissing each view and then like you
13:11
Speaker 2: get to the point where you just such pent up
13:13
Speaker 2: fucking this is.
13:14
Speaker 1: Like I know you kind I kind of want to
13:16
Speaker 1: get a think that's the point of the story.
13:18
Speaker 2: No, no, that's a good one.
13:29
Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, and welcome to Confession Sessions. How are you
13:33
Speaker 1: going good?
13:35
Speaker 5: How are you?
13:36
Speaker 1: I am great? I'm joining with Jake on my right.
13:38
Speaker 4: Hello. Hi.
13:41
Speaker 1: First things first is would you like to be anonymous
13:44
Speaker 1: for the story? I don't care, you don't care.
13:47
Speaker 4: I kind of like it when I don't.
13:50
Speaker 6: You want to use your real name or not, you
13:52
Speaker 6: can call me in and.
13:54
Speaker 1: What a beautiful name. And next question is what would
13:58
Speaker 1: you title your story?
14:04
Speaker 6: Car se conundrum?
14:06
Speaker 1: Se conundrum? Okay, take it from the top and we're
14:12
Speaker 1: going to interact, and the floor is yours.
14:15
Speaker 6: Okay, amazing. So back during COVID, I used to do
14:21
Speaker 6: like personal training, and we used to train like outside
14:26
Speaker 6: at parks because all the gyms were shut. Yes, and
14:30
Speaker 6: I was doing just like you know your usual. It
14:32
Speaker 6: was like the big time whenever I wanted to like
14:37
Speaker 6: build their bums and everything. So there's lots of like
14:39
Speaker 6: hip thrust and stuff like that. But I had about
14:43
Speaker 6: a liter of water before I went to my gym session,
14:50
Speaker 6: and then I also had my pre workout during the session.
14:53
Speaker 1: What pre workout do you take?
14:56
Speaker 6: Oh god, I have no idea. It was three years ago.
14:59
Speaker 6: Just a random one, just a random one. So yeah,
15:03
Speaker 6: I did my whole gym workout with my trainer. We
15:06
Speaker 6: were doing like hip Thruss and by the end of it,
15:08
Speaker 6: I was like, holy crap, I really need to pay.
15:11
Speaker 6: But we were at a random park. I didn't have
15:13
Speaker 6: any toilets, so I was like, it's all right, I'll
15:17
Speaker 6: just like like at home, I'll make it. I was
15:22
Speaker 6: driving like a shitty rap for at the time, and
15:25
Speaker 6: so all the seats are like material sleeps, like like
15:28
Speaker 6: they're not leather or anything.
15:31
Speaker 3: Yes, very absorbent, that's the word.
15:36
Speaker 5: Yes.
15:36
Speaker 6: I'm like driving home and I'm literally pulling into my
15:39
Speaker 6: driveway and I completely wet myself in my car and
15:46
Speaker 6: because I was so much pay like I had had
15:48
Speaker 6: a leader of water.
15:49
Speaker 7: It was.
15:50
Speaker 6: It wasn't like a little bit, it was like the
15:52
Speaker 6: whole car seat was drenched.
15:53
Speaker 1: No house makes it so much worse.
15:59
Speaker 6: I was literally ten minutes gets better, or it gets better,
16:04
Speaker 6: It gets better. Yeah, So I go inside and I like,
16:08
Speaker 6: get have a shower, get changed, and I'm like, fuck,
16:11
Speaker 6: like my car is going to reak. It was in
16:12
Speaker 6: the middle of summer, like I had, and I was
16:15
Speaker 6: about to sell my car as well. I was like
16:19
Speaker 6: marking my territory. Yeah, so I drive like the closest
16:26
Speaker 6: car wash place and I'm like, hey, can you just
16:29
Speaker 6: like shampoo just the front seat? And he was like, yeah,
16:33
Speaker 6: what are my shampooing out of it? And I was like,
16:36
Speaker 6: it's like urine and he was like, oh, what happened?
16:38
Speaker 6: And I was like, my dog's pete of my front seat.
16:43
Speaker 1: I thought you were about to own after that.
16:47
Speaker 4: But that's also just like the most believable thing too.
16:52
Speaker 9: I don't even have a dog, Like there's no dog
16:57
Speaker 9: hair in here, and me is my car is so spotless.
17:01
Speaker 6: So it was just like a literally just a pie seat.
17:05
Speaker 4: Yeah.
17:05
Speaker 2: Did I want to know if it's saying because you
17:07
Speaker 2: said you were super hydrated so sometimes that I had
17:10
Speaker 2: pre workout, I wanted.
17:13
Speaker 1: To ask to as a girl, like as a guy.
17:15
Speaker 1: We've talked about it before on the pod. When you've
17:17
Speaker 1: got to go, you got to go and we'll pull
17:18
Speaker 1: over anywhere. Did you ever ever thought that like I'm
17:20
Speaker 1: just gonna have to pop a squad on the side
17:22
Speaker 1: the road.
17:22
Speaker 7: Somewhere, you know what.
17:23
Speaker 6: I actually thought about doing it at the park, but
17:25
Speaker 6: my trainer was still there with his next client. I
17:29
Speaker 6: was like, I can't like pop a squad behind a tree.
17:31
Speaker 6: I'm just going to leg it home.
17:33
Speaker 3: And it betrayed me.
17:34
Speaker 6: My bladder betrayed me.
17:35
Speaker 4: That is so annoying.
17:37
Speaker 2: Like as a dude, if it was like bad enough,
17:40
Speaker 2: I even would have just said in my train and like, hey,
17:43
Speaker 2: like I lived ten minutes away and I got to go.
17:44
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, I'm just gonna go pee on this like
17:46
Speaker 2: because a guy. It's like, I don't know, it's kind
17:48
Speaker 2: of like guys are gross.
17:49
Speaker 4: They pee standing up. It's easy. Blah blah blah.
17:52
Speaker 1: Yeah.
17:53
Speaker 4: I wish you guys could just go do that without
17:55
Speaker 4: even thinking about it.
17:57
Speaker 2: We she we, But who's going to carry around like what?
18:04
Speaker 6: I feel like you talked about it before, like in
18:06
Speaker 6: the other when you go to go, you gotta go definitely.
18:11
Speaker 1: Know of the stories. Keep the.
18:14
Speaker 6: Guys get sponsored and we can all get a discount.
18:17
Speaker 1: Let's let's look up. I would love that. Thanks for
18:22
Speaker 1: coming on the pod.
18:23
Speaker 6: Thanks so much. For having me guys. Awesome.
18:30
Speaker 2: I love that it was like, it's so believable that
18:32
Speaker 2: a dog weed on the seat.
18:33
Speaker 4: It is such a good way to.
18:34
Speaker 1: Just get out of it. Yeah, I know, And I
18:36
Speaker 1: love that we have like we can just go to
18:38
Speaker 1: a car wash and someone else deal with it. But
18:44
Speaker 1: we didn't. Putting two and two together, how did she
18:47
Speaker 1: get to the car wash?
18:51
Speaker 2: She just put it out on it or something, But
18:53
Speaker 2: like a couple of towers down and like an absorbent seat.
18:56
Speaker 2: Maybe it's like you're going to get to a point
18:58
Speaker 2: where it's semi dry to the first bought the car
19:00
Speaker 2: after her.
19:01
Speaker 4: It would have smelled so bad. But I assume she
19:03
Speaker 4: probably she I don't know.
19:05
Speaker 2: I'd fucking replace the seat lineup. I'd take it back
19:08
Speaker 2: to because she said it was a rab four. I'd
19:09
Speaker 2: take it a tweeter and be like, please please take it.
19:12
Speaker 2: You can, like I don't know, you can also just
19:14
Speaker 2: like fucking spray it with this stuff. I've had fish
19:16
Speaker 2: smell in my car before because I went with fishing
19:19
Speaker 2: and then I had bait in my car and there's
19:21
Speaker 2: a hole.
19:21
Speaker 4: In the bait bag.
19:22
Speaker 2: This fish juice fucking was all in the back carpet
19:25
Speaker 2: and it's I've never smelled anything like that in my
19:27
Speaker 2: life because it was summer as well, like you cart
19:28
Speaker 2: cooks in Australia, and I went and bought this spray
19:31
Speaker 2: and it works for a well right, very good. Hello, Hello, Hello,
19:43
Speaker 2: welcome to Confession Sessions.
19:46
Speaker 4: How are you going?
19:48
Speaker 5: I am going you defuly Actually that is very good.
19:52
Speaker 1: Oh you just woke up?
19:54
Speaker 3: How good?
19:55
Speaker 4: Perfect time, perfect timing. I'm here with Addie.
19:57
Speaker 1: Thanks for coming on.
20:00
Speaker 5: Hello, how are you?
20:01
Speaker 1: I'm great, I'm great.
20:02
Speaker 2: I'm excited for your story. He woke up not too
20:04
Speaker 2: long ago as well. He went to play last night,
20:06
Speaker 2: so I did had a big night.
20:09
Speaker 1: Okay. We would like to start this off by asking
20:12
Speaker 1: would you like to be anonymous?
20:15
Speaker 5: I mean I don't mind it all.
20:16
Speaker 2: Okay, cool, Well, welcome Katie, Hi, welcome to the show.
20:24
Speaker 2: Now I reached out to you for this one. I
20:28
Speaker 2: read your submission and now I would call this a
20:31
Speaker 2: as you put it, a poorly planned vomit.
20:35
Speaker 9: Oh yeah, it's kind of a spin off.
20:39
Speaker 5: If you got to go, you've got to go.
20:41
Speaker 4: Semi yeah, out of the out of the oral section.
20:46
Speaker 5: Yeah, just different.
20:49
Speaker 1: So take it from the top. Paint us a picture.
20:52
Speaker 2: We want to be there with you, We want to
20:53
Speaker 2: feel sick with you, and don't leave anything out.
20:57
Speaker 5: All right, this is just it wasn't a typical night out.
21:04
Speaker 5: So this is the end of the netball season and
21:07
Speaker 5: we were just having a big celebration and we were
21:11
Speaker 5: me and all my team were doing this competition. So
21:14
Speaker 5: essentially we saw on TikTok this competition where you are
21:19
Speaker 5: paired up and you have to drink a whole bottle
21:21
Speaker 5: of wine between the two of you before you're allowed
21:24
Speaker 5: to speak to each other. Oh, so I've just arrived
21:28
Speaker 5: at Price, you know, I'm all sold up and everything.
21:31
Speaker 5: Probably haven't had much to eat, that's probably my dad,
21:34
Speaker 5: but we are. So the prize for winning this competition
21:43
Speaker 5: was free drinks all night from the Cream. So I
21:47
Speaker 5: was going all out, as you can imagine. So I
21:50
Speaker 5: just absolutely went for it. I chugged and I chugged,
21:54
Speaker 5: and we were like by miles like the rest of
21:58
Speaker 5: the team, they'd chosen like sparkling wine, and I'm like,
22:02
Speaker 5: you guys, you really didn't do your research, Like you
22:04
Speaker 5: really need some mescato here would so much? Anyways, So
22:11
Speaker 5: me and my friend, we want free drinks all night.
22:13
Speaker 3: And I was like absolutely, Stokes, like, we're in.
22:15
Speaker 5: For a big one. So we go out to this pub.
22:21
Speaker 5: It's like just a big one in Brisbane, and there's
22:26
Speaker 5: lots of people there that we know. We're having a
22:28
Speaker 5: great time, and you know, I'm on the wine of course, so.
22:35
Speaker 4: So you stayed on the wines.
22:38
Speaker 3: I had a.
22:39
Speaker 5: Couple of wines and then I just like switched to
22:42
Speaker 5: the vodkas because I was like, this probably isn't gonna
22:45
Speaker 5: end up well. So I start talking to this guy.
22:51
Speaker 5: I like bumped into him because we'd been snapping for
22:54
Speaker 5: a little bit and I was like, oh, hey, like
22:56
Speaker 5: I recognize you now to the type of guy is
23:02
Speaker 5: like my height, my height lethal spaceguard though. So we
23:08
Speaker 5: get talking and I'm like pretty drunk, pretty sloppy, to
23:12
Speaker 5: be honest, and I don't even remember what we were
23:17
Speaker 5: talking about. I've got no idea. But somehow we get
23:24
Speaker 5: back to his place. We're flirting. You know, he's we're
23:32
Speaker 5: both doing UNI and healthcare, so we're just sort of
23:36
Speaker 5: like talking about that and you know we should. One
23:39
Speaker 5: thing leads to another and we have great nights.
23:46
Speaker 3: You know.
23:46
Speaker 5: The short short.
23:48
Speaker 3: They really know how to use it that.
23:53
Speaker 5: As yeah, exactly, I say. I told my Friendsis the
24:03
Speaker 5: morning after when I was like, the two short guys
24:06
Speaker 5: that I've gotten with have been like the top two,
24:08
Speaker 5: I would say, really no, like actually, because they have
24:12
Speaker 5: to conference, they have to compensate, so it's kind of
24:23
Speaker 5: besides to point. So really had a lovely night. In
24:28
Speaker 5: the morning, we're still chatting, still flirting, like conversation is
24:31
Speaker 5: still flowing, and like, damn, like this guy, like he's
24:36
Speaker 5: kind of fun to be around. Sou's awesome. So he's like,
24:42
Speaker 5: you know, can I drop you home? Because I look
24:44
Speaker 5: fifteen minutes away. And I was like, oh, like you
24:47
Speaker 5: don't have to. He's like, no, no, like I'll drop
24:49
Speaker 5: you home like all good. So I was like, oh,
24:52
Speaker 5: that's quite nice of you. So he dropped me home
24:55
Speaker 5: and I'm helping the car and the first extremely hungover
25:01
Speaker 5: by the way, I thought I was kind of implied.
25:03
Speaker 5: But so he goes around the first corner and he's
25:07
Speaker 5: sort of one of those drivers where it's like it's
25:11
Speaker 5: like he doesn't know that there's a passenger in his car,
25:13
Speaker 5: and I'm like being flung around. It's not a game
25:17
Speaker 5: of corners here, you know. He's like, yeah, you know,
25:28
Speaker 5: the ground solely just so I was like, oh, like well,
25:36
Speaker 5: let's just like float down like a rodeo. I was like, oh,
25:46
Speaker 5: I was like, let's just slow it down it because
25:49
Speaker 5: I was just scared that's something no, it might happen.
25:54
Speaker 5: And he's like okay, and he slows it down a
25:58
Speaker 5: little bit, like not that much. So we get back
26:02
Speaker 5: to my house and we're just saying like ow, goodbye
26:05
Speaker 5: is give each other like a little hug, a little peck,
26:08
Speaker 5: like oh, when will I see you next? It's going
26:10
Speaker 5: to date, you know, like really positive stuff. And I'm
26:15
Speaker 5: like really feeling like that there's something is just going
26:21
Speaker 5: to come out, like I just I don't know, I
26:25
Speaker 5: stood up too fast and just I just feel this
26:29
Speaker 5: irruption of something in my stomach and I'm like really
26:31
Speaker 5: trying to wrap up the conversation here. So I'm like
26:35
Speaker 5: stop talking to me, like okay, bye, I'm going to
26:37
Speaker 5: get out the cars like because I'm like I'm just
26:40
Speaker 5: going to try and make it inside before you know,
26:43
Speaker 5: the inevitable happens. So he's like giving me a hug
26:49
Speaker 5: with goodbye, and I'm like, I don't go in for
26:52
Speaker 5: the hug because I'm like, if I go into the
26:55
Speaker 5: hubby that way, I'm not making it to the window
26:58
Speaker 5: in time. So I just like I'm like okay, by
27:03
Speaker 5: I open the door and super tactically like hop out
27:08
Speaker 5: with my head first because I'm like, I don't know
27:11
Speaker 5: what's going to happen right now, Like I just feel
27:14
Speaker 5: so sick. I hop out and like you know the
27:17
Speaker 5: feeling when you stand up too fast and it just
27:20
Speaker 5: falls like comes out of you. So I open the
27:25
Speaker 5: door and I stand up like one foot on the ground,
27:29
Speaker 5: one foot still in the car, and I like just
27:32
Speaker 5: throw up my brains out on the sidewalk. I'm like,
27:36
Speaker 5: oh my god, this is so embarrassing, So let's not
27:40
Speaker 5: out of the car. Let's throw up outside of the car.
27:43
Speaker 5: And then I stand up fully grow up again, like
27:50
Speaker 5: on the dirt outside of my house. And then I finish,
27:54
Speaker 5: and I'm like, you know, tears running down my eyes,
27:58
Speaker 5: and I like pop my head back here and I
28:01
Speaker 5: was like, I'm I was like, what do you say?
28:03
Speaker 5: I was like, I'm so sorry, Like that's so not me,
28:08
Speaker 5: like I'm usually not this song because I was like
28:11
Speaker 5: I'm so sorry, that's really gross, Like I mean to
28:14
Speaker 5: do that. He was like, oh, it's okay. He was
28:18
Speaker 5: just like oh, I was like going for a hug after,
28:29
Speaker 5: like next to his car, and I was like, oh bye,
28:33
Speaker 5: was like shot this all so embarrassing. Community Yeah. Actually
28:41
Speaker 5: I sent him a message. I was like, oh, I
28:43
Speaker 5: just wanted to say again, like I'm so sorry, like
28:45
Speaker 5: I actually had a really good night and I'd love
28:47
Speaker 5: to see you again, And he like replied really positively, like.
28:52
Speaker 2: Again, I will quickly would like to point out I
28:54
Speaker 2: would love to hear that he apologized for driving like
28:57
Speaker 2: a maniac.
28:59
Speaker 7: No, did he not say anything about that.
29:03
Speaker 1: You popped your head back in. I would have been
29:04
Speaker 1: like I told you to slow down. I get cassick.
29:09
Speaker 1: Cassick set that, you know.
29:13
Speaker 9: I was like, I'm so sorry, like I drunk.
29:15
Speaker 5: A whole bottle of wine. Anyways, Yeah, we ended up
29:22
Speaker 5: going on a date and like it was nice, it
29:25
Speaker 5: was bloody, but like I don't know, I haven't really
29:29
Speaker 5: I haven't seen him again after that date. Okay, fair enough,
29:32
Speaker 5: Like it just fizzled out, you know, which is just fun.
29:35
Speaker 4: What can you do?
29:36
Speaker 1: Didn't seehim again? Because it's five eight.
29:40
Speaker 5: Look, I very happened to have a pretty house. Is
29:44
Speaker 5: this so I don't know. I might have to lie
29:46
Speaker 5: up a bit of a rock.
29:48
Speaker 7: That for Jake.
30:00
Speaker 5: Don't don't be afraid to admit that you're under six foot.
30:09
Speaker 4: Yeah, lean into it, Jake.
30:12
Speaker 2: Wh Okay, it's really funny.
30:15
Speaker 1: Do you know so Harry from Blues and Greens he's
30:18
Speaker 1: been on the pop before.
30:19
Speaker 4: Do you remember him? Yeah, yesterday he.
30:22
Speaker 2: Sent me something about like a girl given a short
30:25
Speaker 2: king a chance and he sent it to me and
30:26
Speaker 2: he was like sorry in advance, and I sent him
30:28
Speaker 2: a voice message and I was like.
30:30
Speaker 1: You know what, I'm kind of like, really, I'm going to.
30:32
Speaker 2: Lean into this whole like I'm under six foot thing
30:34
Speaker 2: because I've had two separate instances Harry did it when
30:37
Speaker 2: I first saw him the first time, and then someone
30:40
Speaker 2: else at two separate instances of people saying, oh, you're actually.
30:42
Speaker 1: Taller than I thought, and that's like the biggest ego boost.
30:46
Speaker 1: It would be way worse. It would be way worse.
30:48
Speaker 2: If people if you were going Jake's actually like so
30:50
Speaker 2: tall and then they see me and they go, well,
30:51
Speaker 2: you're way.
30:52
Speaker 1: Shorter than I.
30:56
Speaker 5: Okay, this thing is like anything taller than me is
30:59
Speaker 5: like fall enough, like, really fine, coming coming from a
31:07
Speaker 5: five and a half, sorry, coming from a five eight
31:12
Speaker 5: and a half.
31:13
Speaker 1: I'll take it. Yeah, I'll take it. Lead it.
31:15
Speaker 4: Thank you very much, thanks for coming on.
31:17
Speaker 1: Great, thank you. Oh man, what a champ.
31:24
Speaker 2: Fucking I'll tell you the story that you've spun to
31:27
Speaker 2: the listener's mate.
31:33
Speaker 1: Fucking I'm the writer of our book, mate, But you're
31:37
Speaker 1: setting me up for just compliments, which is nice.
31:39
Speaker 4: But also you meant to do that. You meant to
31:42
Speaker 4: do that.
31:43
Speaker 1: No, I've unconsciously done it because I'm so much bigger
31:46
Speaker 1: than you. Like if I make you look small, even
31:49
Speaker 1: though you are quite tall for a mile, I just
31:51
Speaker 1: make you look small. I can't do anything about it. Man,
31:55
Speaker 1: I'm sorry.
31:56
Speaker 2: Was that an admission that I'm so much bigger? Clock
32:00
Speaker 2: you are quite tall for a male? Yeah, like over
32:02
Speaker 2: five five, over five a like. I'm not putting you
32:04
Speaker 2: in the five eight category like you released over five
32:06
Speaker 2: to ten. I'll give you that quote, Audie Clark.
32:09
Speaker 4: I'm putting that in a Facebook group.
32:21
Speaker 1: Hello. Hello, Hello, welcome to confession session. How are you going?
32:27
Speaker 5: I'm good?
32:27
Speaker 7: How are you?
32:28
Speaker 1: I am great? I'm here with Jake's alo Jake. Hello,
32:31
Speaker 1: thanks for coming on.
32:33
Speaker 5: Of course, of course, first.
32:35
Speaker 1: Things first is would you like to be anonymous?
32:38
Speaker 9: Oh no, it's fine, let's go.
32:43
Speaker 1: Your name is spelt cool, it's Haley.
32:44
Speaker 9: Assume it's pronounced Hallie.
32:47
Speaker 5: Actually Halle.
32:48
Speaker 1: I like that. That's really cool. And where are you
32:50
Speaker 1: calling from? My detective little accent there.
32:54
Speaker 9: I'm from Canada. I'm currently living in Banks.
32:57
Speaker 1: For Oh nice.
32:59
Speaker 4: My mom is in Kamloops.
33:02
Speaker 5: Oh sick.
33:03
Speaker 9: I was just there last weekend.
33:04
Speaker 4: Actually cool. Yeah, that's my Jake by the way, saying that.
33:08
Speaker 1: Okay, And next question is what would you title your
33:13
Speaker 1: story if you had to?
33:19
Speaker 9: Honestly, I don't know.
33:22
Speaker 1: You can call whatever you want, the Adventures of Alley.
33:27
Speaker 9: Adventures of Alley works great, we'll go with that.
33:30
Speaker 1: Okay. The floor is yours, taken from the top of
33:32
Speaker 1: me and Jack will interact.
33:34
Speaker 5: Okay.
33:34
Speaker 9: So a couple of years back, I was in a
33:38
Speaker 9: little bit of a relationship and I had I have
33:43
Speaker 9: a yearly thing where I'll get my hair dyed. Okay,
33:47
Speaker 9: that's good, just a fun thing for myself. Color, no
33:53
Speaker 9: different colors like the first time I did, like, just
33:55
Speaker 9: like a couple of streaks of pink in my hair.
33:58
Speaker 9: The next year. Yeah, this, but this particular year, I decided,
34:03
Speaker 9: like two months before that I was going to dye
34:06
Speaker 9: all my hair blue.
34:08
Speaker 1: Cool, what what are we talking?
34:12
Speaker 5: A little darker, a.
34:14
Speaker 9: Little darker blue. I'm seeing you're seeing it? And but
34:22
Speaker 9: I had I have a boyfriend at the time, and
34:24
Speaker 9: we played on the same ice hockey team.
34:26
Speaker 1: Cool, this is such a Canadian story.
34:30
Speaker 3: I know what I'm saying.
34:31
Speaker 9: I'm kind of like but as and like I had
34:35
Speaker 9: mentioned it to my team. I'm like, hey, guys, I'm
34:37
Speaker 9: gonna dye my hair, but I didn't say what colors.
34:40
Speaker 5: Cool, didn't mention.
34:42
Speaker 9: The color because I wanted to surprise like my best
34:45
Speaker 9: friend who was also on the team. And so we
34:49
Speaker 9: go to this turn it was okay, So contact I
34:51
Speaker 9: get it done at a certain tournament every year because
34:53
Speaker 9: I go to the tournament every year. So it just
34:56
Speaker 9: happened to be in a bigger city where I can
34:57
Speaker 9: go get my hair dye, hair dyed. And basically I
35:02
Speaker 9: had I had like his team had gotten out like
35:05
Speaker 9: a day before mine, so I was still playing while
35:08
Speaker 9: his team was gone. I play on a different team
35:10
Speaker 9: for this tournaments. A whole whole other story, and.
35:15
Speaker 1: I have a dumb question. Boys and girls different.
35:20
Speaker 9: In my opinion, Yeah, I grew up playing boys hockey.
35:23
Speaker 9: It's a lot more physical for the boys, while with girls,
35:26
Speaker 9: in my opinion, it's a little more strategic and team based.
35:30
Speaker 1: Makes sense yet, okay?
35:32
Speaker 9: Yeah, And so basically I was I think I was
35:36
Speaker 9: like having dinner with my family or something like we
35:39
Speaker 9: were going out, and then all of a sudden, I
35:41
Speaker 9: get this text message and he goes, hey, guess what
35:43
Speaker 9: I just did. And I'm like thinking, I'm like, what
35:48
Speaker 9: what could he have done? I'm like, I don't know,
35:50
Speaker 9: like and he goes and he's then he decides it's like, wait,
35:53
Speaker 9: you'll see on Monday when we go back to school.
35:56
Speaker 9: Cause you go back to school on Monday. I was like,
35:59
Speaker 9: so I would take.
36:01
Speaker 3: He's like, guess what I did, and I'm like.
36:03
Speaker 7: I don't know. I was like, what's you do?
36:06
Speaker 9: And he goes, wait, I'm gonna I'm gonna show you
36:08
Speaker 9: on Monday, and I'm like okay. So then the next
36:11
Speaker 9: day I will get my hair dyed blue. And let
36:13
Speaker 9: me say, every time I've died my hair, that was
36:16
Speaker 9: my favorite. But I will never dye my hair blue
36:18
Speaker 9: again because of this. Okay, So I comment to school
36:23
Speaker 9: the next day with my beautiful long blue hair, showing
36:26
Speaker 9: it off to the world, having a fun time with
36:28
Speaker 9: my class, right right.
36:29
Speaker 3: And I don't see him.
36:30
Speaker 9: I don't see him right away. And first thing in
36:32
Speaker 9: the morning when I get to school, I see him
36:34
Speaker 9: like like two hours later.
36:36
Speaker 7: Okay, and this guy whoa whoa, whoa.
36:43
Speaker 1: Whoa, whoa whoah Jack. Sorry, mate, have you seen the time?
36:46
Speaker 4: Mate? I have been looking at the time.
36:48
Speaker 1: Oh, I'm sorry. We've accidentally booked way too many people
36:52
Speaker 1: are forced confession sessions. What are we gonna do? We
36:57
Speaker 1: can't not give it to him. We can even cut
36:59
Speaker 1: it short here or continue on Wednesday.
37:02
Speaker 3: What do you want to do?
37:04
Speaker 4: I think we give him two episodes of confessions.
37:06
Speaker 1: I think so too.
37:07
Speaker 4: We've got to give it to him.
37:08
Speaker 1: So, everybody listening, if you want to hear the end
37:10
Speaker 1: of this story and a couple more juicy ones we
37:14
Speaker 1: have lined up, come back on Wednesday to hear the
37:17
Speaker 1: rest of confession sessions. And there may or may not
37:20
Speaker 1: be one from yours truly. Yeah, Jake tells one that
37:23
Speaker 1: he's been keeping from me for years. I'm already I
37:26
Speaker 1: don't know. I don't even know if I want to
37:29
Speaker 1: keep it in there, but I've got to give it
37:30
Speaker 1: to you.
37:31
Speaker 4: Yeah I have.
37:32
Speaker 2: That's the first time I've ever said any of those
37:34
Speaker 2: words out loud of what happened to me or what
37:37
Speaker 2: I did, and I was god smacked