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OVER 40 AND DATING IN THE LIFESTYLE WITH DRAGONLING AND CHARLES · CALL ME MISTRESS

0:06
Hi, welcome to the latest episode of Call Me Mistress.
0:09
I'm your Hostess, Mistress Mia, and today I've got with me
0:12
Dragon Ling. And of course, I've got Charles.
0:20
Talk louder, motherfucker. Hello, Mr. Smith.
0:23
Special trolls. There you go, point.
0:26
My mouth is a big black thing, right?
0:28
Yes, OK. It's cylindrical too.
0:34
And girthy. And girthy.
0:35
And girthy. We like girthy.
0:37
Like a short, you know, phalkey like.
0:41
Tonsil bruising. We like that, but a Deep Throat
0:47
tonsil pain. Best kind of sore throat, isn't
0:52
it? Now we're, we're getting all
0:55
sexual and hot, but I think I think our topic we're going to
0:59
talk about today is dating over 40 and dating in the BDSM
1:04
community. Yes, good luck.
1:06
How things go awry very quickly. Yes.
1:11
You know, we live in a small town.
1:12
It's a small town compared to to most bigger areas and cities.
1:17
Exactly. And we've all had our share of
1:20
relationships. Yes, in this glorious lifestyle.
1:24
Now I was fortunate enough to get an amazing husband, but.
1:27
Congratulations. Thank you.
1:29
Thank you. One winner, 2 losers.
1:32
Now I say the catch is this. I married someone who wants to
1:36
be a slave. Submissive men are great find
1:39
that's what I thought when they're great.
1:42
Right. But I think it's harder to find
1:44
a dominant male, and I think it's harder to find a dominant
1:47
female. That's worthy, right?
1:49
Yes. I think it's the dynamics are
1:51
complex. Very much so.
1:53
Tell us about some of your experiences Dragon Ling OH.
1:56
My gosh. Where shall we begin?
1:59
Well, first I will ask this though.
2:01
Yes, you, you were married with somebody before who was not in
2:05
the lifestyle, correct? And you had.
2:07
That was problematic. It it was because in the very
2:10
beginning we were open. I was open about my fetishes, my
2:14
kinks and it was understood potentially we would be moving
2:18
in that direction. And the ring went on the finger.
2:22
And it never. Did it?
2:23
Never did. And the.
2:23
Promises went out the door, correct?
2:26
That's correct it. Does.
2:27
But that's not to say it was a bad man.
2:30
No, not at all. No, it just you think you can
2:34
live without it, but actually it's there.
2:36
Yeah. I went through something
2:38
similar. I was, you know, married before
2:40
and we lived together for six years, finally got married, and
2:44
we were literally only married that year.
2:47
And I was like, I'm done because, you know, he wouldn't
2:50
do BDSM. And then, you know, he
2:52
persecuted me because I was into it.
2:54
Yeah, same. Same.
2:56
And I also find that even within the lifestyle, this is what
2:59
we'll touch on dating over. You meet somebody in the
3:03
lifestyle or even swinging or BDSM, however you want to to
3:07
label it, and they get into a relationship with you and they
3:12
want to change you. Ohh.
3:13
What? Back to normal.
3:15
They don't want to share you, they don't want you to partake
3:18
in any BDSM or they don't want you to be the, the dominatrix
3:23
that is flogging somebody else. They suddenly become hyper
3:28
jealous. I want to say that's my
3:30
experience. Absolutely hyper jealous, hyper
3:34
controlling. Even if they are potentially
3:36
sub, there's a there's something else going on.
3:39
That's my experience. I'm not, I'm not.
3:41
I can't. You can't generalise.
3:42
That the opposite. I've been in vanilla.
3:45
Well I'm secretly BDSM. I date vanilla and try to tell
3:48
them the truth. But you can't convert them to
3:50
you either, you know? Yes.
3:52
So you're fucked either way as far as I would.
3:54
Yeah, that would be nice. But literally no.
3:59
But oh. Well, oh, OK, that's different.
4:01
She's being day. But that but that that is the
4:04
way it is. There's that's my experience.
4:06
I'm not to say every relationship or every dating,
4:08
but I've realised as I've got older there seems to be the
4:12
dating pool is really. Atrocious.
4:16
It's not good and I don't know whether that's.
4:18
It's not a pool, it's a shadow puddle.
4:21
Very much as I like God. With some allergy growing.
4:24
On the front. Oh yeah.
4:26
Yeah. And yeah, there's really.
4:28
Running through it. There's definitely relationships
4:31
if you and if you meet another male.
4:33
I've met a male and you know, claimed to be a dorm, claimed to
4:37
be a dorm and claimed to be all of this.
4:40
What a natural fact they weren't.
4:42
They just use it as a way to get women in bed.
4:44
I've met a shit load of guys like that.
4:46
Yeah, the one, it's pretended to be dominant.
4:48
Yeah, and it's just to get panties off, but, you know, good
4:50
for them. But it's false advertising.
4:53
And I think a lot of them, they'll say that they're Dom and
4:56
they're dominant, but in actuality they can barely top
4:59
because they really don't know how to do it.
5:01
They. Just said they are.
5:02
They said they are, you know, and it's just this illusion
5:05
within themselves. I get it.
5:07
You have a dominant personality, but that doesn't set tell people
5:10
that, hey, I'm a top. I can really do you know the
5:13
things that I want to do in BDSM you.
5:16
Know this, the alpha, this the Sigma, there's so many, you
5:19
know, delta, beta. Where are you?
5:21
Can't. You're giving yourself label
5:23
Yeah, without actually having any substance behind it.
5:28
I have, I'm bi so I've I wouldn't use the word dated, but
5:31
I've associated with both men and women and the guys.
5:34
Holy shit I had to teach these fuckers how to top me.
5:37
I'm a sub right? And he's claiming to be a Dom.
5:40
I'm going to teach him how to do every goddamn thing.
5:42
It's also called a waste of my time.
5:44
I. Was going to say you kind of
5:45
lose your your Thunder and lose your.
5:48
If I have to show you how to do this, I'm like, dude, no, yeah.
5:51
Yeah. Yeah, it was not there.
5:53
It's like, that's why like a certain person we're talking
5:56
about earlier, he doesn't pretend he is.
5:58
Yes. So that's why I feel like really
6:00
nice next to him. Yes, I know exactly who you
6:05
mean. I was going to say he has a fat
6:07
life name, and I don't think he's going to be upset that you
6:10
bring it up, but I don't know. He is a glorious man.
6:13
He has a wonderful personality. He's handsome.
6:15
He's an older gentleman, but he's very distinguished and you
6:19
know he's. Got a beautiful partner?
6:20
I was going to say, he's in a beautiful relationship that he
6:23
has Goddess. Two together is dynamite.
6:25
Both of you've played, you've dabbled in that little
6:28
relationship. You know, and that's what's
6:29
beautiful. So, you know, trying to dating
6:32
somebody in the lifestyle then of a certain age, they that
6:36
there is baggage, yes, you accept that as you get older
6:40
there's going to be some kind of baggage, but it's when the
6:42
baggage is brought into the lifestyle and projected onto the
6:47
other individual. Yeah, projected.
6:49
When you meet a couple that don't have that, they're
6:52
confident in each of their skin, they're confident together.
6:54
They don't mind. They're good with you playing.
6:57
They're good with all of it. You can look at that couple and
7:00
I'm like there is hope. Oh, oh God, yeah.
7:03
There's definitely hope when you see that.
7:04
Because they have a vanilla life.
7:06
They have other vanilla partners too, so absolutely.
7:10
And I think it comes with confidence.
7:11
It does it. Does.
7:14
Then again, we're also on seeing them when everything is just
7:17
right. That's.
7:17
True that. Is very true because I'm in a
7:19
lot of other couples. Yeah, they're great, but there's
7:21
a lot, a lot of shit going on before we get to go and play.
7:24
You know what, Life. Life just gets in the way.
7:27
And a lot of them have some mental problems.
7:29
I, I was going to say Charles and I, we recently ran into some
7:33
friends and when we've talked about them, they're beautiful
7:36
people. They're incredible people.
7:37
But ultimately a lot of these submissive women, they're, they
7:41
have extreme mental health issues and it just interferes
7:45
with everything, you know, I mean, and there's no perfect
7:48
brain. There's no perfect brain
7:49
chemistry. They have 99 point 9% of us.
7:52
We're all imperfect, right? But it's just it's very
7:56
difficult for them to adapt and especially on medication, then
8:01
then BDSM and then real life and it's it's like I'm one big
8:05
mindful. It's a recipe for.
8:07
Disaster. Yeah.
8:08
Say it, you know. But that's what I've found, I
8:10
have found globally, you know, the UK, Spain here, yeah,
8:16
America, Hungary, wherever I've travelled to, it's it's there.
8:21
It's in the lifestyle, you know, it's, it's, but that's life, as
8:25
you're saying. So trying to date the vanilla.
8:28
And I've dated a few vanillas and you know, they've got their
8:32
own baggage as well. 100% and. And I've and I've dated one or
8:37
two and they've gone, hey, you know, we would be interested in
8:39
the lifestyle. And then they see what I'm like
8:42
in the lifestyle and it scares the hell out of them because and
8:45
they then they want to try and control me because I'm the
8:48
dominant 1. And I'm like, no, beat your ass.
8:52
And I normally do, yeah, you know, but and I find that's what
8:57
the dating pool inside BDSM or inside swinging or inside just a
9:01
normal vanilla life, I find we we've got to a certain age and
9:05
it's got more complicated. Yeah, well, fuck.
9:07
Life is complicated anyway. If you once you hear, you know,
9:10
it's complicated anyway. The older you get, it doesn't
9:12
matter what you're doing. It's just more shit.
9:14
It's gonna land in your lap. So I've got more to come.
9:20
Well. It's also you're survived,
9:23
you've outlived people who did not.
9:25
That's true. So yeah, it's just just part of
9:27
life, you know, it's just our thing just adds 1 little extra
9:30
layer. I don't think our thing is that
9:31
big of a deal when you really do the math, because most humans,
9:34
we've all got the same issues, right?
9:36
We're just doing a little something extra kinky.
9:38
It's not that big a deal. No, it's not that big of a.
9:40
Deal, but then make a big deal out of it.
9:42
Yeah. But yeah, you hit me with a
9:44
flogger. So fucking what?
9:46
It's not that big of a deal. Vanilla people.
9:48
It feels good. So there's been the latest trend
9:52
over the last 5-6 years of people watching the show
9:56
Yellowstone and it has the two spin offs, you know, 1823 and
10:00
the 1923 right I. Have never watched 1:00 every
10:04
second. Exactly.
10:05
OK, so but a lot of a lot of people that I talked to, they
10:11
love it. So, you know.
10:13
Yellowstone, Montana rancher yes, it's a beautiful setting.
10:17
You see mountains. Beautiful.
10:19
Kevin Costner, he started the show yes.
10:22
Well they did 2 spin offs. Well, 1923.
10:27
Yes, I've seen that. I've not watched it.
10:29
I've seen the preview for it, yes.
10:30
So here's the deal. My mother and my sister were
10:34
sitting with Charles and I the other day, and we're sitting
10:36
around playing game. And they said, oh, have you
10:40
watched it? And Charles, I'm like, no, no,
10:42
you know, we haven't watched it. And they said, well, there's
10:44
BDSM in it. And we were like, what?
10:49
Have you not got another Christian Gray?
10:52
Oh yeah? Well this was to me and Charles
10:56
Mild. However to someone that is not
11:01
in the lifestyle it was like whoa that's hardcore.
11:04
It wasn't hardcore. There was obvious non consent in
11:09
it. That was the bad part.
11:10
That's the bad part. Yes, that was the bad part, but
11:14
the rest of it was bondage. This guy had stocks at the end
11:18
of his bed. You know he was a wealthy
11:20
millionaire. They were beautiful.
11:22
He had two prostitutes that he basically, you know, used in a
11:27
sense and, you know, to Charles and I was like, oh, that's
11:31
erotic. Oh, that's high.
11:33
Yeah, 'cause there's like 4 scenes through a two season
11:36
period. That's it.
11:37
So it was sexy. But yeah, that was the only
11:40
downfalls, that it wasn't consensual and I wish they would
11:43
have changed that aspect of it. Yeah.
11:44
'Cause. Eggs wasn't that big of a deal
11:46
I. Might just watch it for that.
11:48
I'm see. Tell me at what minute?
11:49
What minute? Exactly.
11:52
Exactly. Thank you.
11:53
Thank you, Charles. There's one scene in Season 1
11:57
and there's three in Season 2. As long as it's not a Christian
12:00
great tape, it's not. It's not.
12:04
Good. Well, you know, I know everybody
12:05
has issues with 50 Shades. Everybody does, and it's not
12:09
our. Speed.
12:10
But it's the fact that, you know, they still want to bring
12:12
BDSM, so it's not so scary to people.
12:15
They have to make it beautiful, you know?
12:18
It's not sorry. BDSM isn't Sky, right?
12:22
No. It's not.
12:23
But people will make that assumption.
12:25
It can be. It depends on everything is
12:27
about level. I mean, how far you take shit
12:29
like cutting, OK, that could be scary if you're in the wrong
12:33
hands. No, sometimes impact play can go
12:36
way too far if you wanted to. That's where safe words come in.
12:40
But if you'd like welts and cuts, that's your fucking
12:44
business, you know? Yeah.
12:46
Oh, absolutely. Because, you know, Charles is
12:49
always saying this. People come to the dungeon
12:51
because they need their medicine and quotes, and that's what it
12:54
is. That's.
12:55
What it is, Yeah, it gives you what you need more for me.
12:58
And again, mental health or not, you know everybody who
13:02
participates in BDSM wants the things they want for a reason.
13:05
One reason or not there? Even if it's just to fulfill a
13:08
fantasy or some kind of a ABDL. Maybe they had something going
13:12
on when they were younger. It doesn't matter.
13:15
It's their thing and they need it.
13:17
And it's growth, you know, it's when you, when you start in it
13:20
as one journey, you evolve. I see that a lot of profiles,
13:24
they're evolving. And I can see even in my own
13:28
status and my own profile, it changes.
13:31
It's evolved over 15 years. You know, you can start out as a
13:35
sub and then you all of a sudden you're the goddess, right?
13:41
You know, but and and that's again relationships.
13:43
We go back to what we were saying earlier.
13:45
My relationships 15 years ago started out in a Poly family as
13:48
a sub. Oh cool, you know, and they're
13:51
still my friends. They still.
13:53
Have that friendship. They're still friends today.
13:55
Both of them are still my fabulous friends today.
13:58
And I look at that as a relationship.
14:00
It's not dating but it's a relationship that was started on
14:06
trust, mutual respect, mutual consent.
14:10
Journey through and the. The irony now is I top my old
14:14
Dom. It's fun fishing though.
14:19
Yo I love it now especially. If you know what the fuck you're
14:23
doing. That's helpful, yeah.
14:25
But that's the that's the growth.
14:27
And that's why we go back into a relationship when you meet
14:30
somebody who suggests they're Dom and they're not, and they've
14:33
got their own health, mental health issues going on that
14:38
perhaps you're not aware of, that slowly seeps out.
14:42
And when they become part of your, say, vanilla life.
14:47
So you have your fat world and we can step in when we step out
14:51
now relationships with inside the fat world, when they come
14:55
together, but then they also flow into your vanilla life.
15:00
That's when I think you start to see character and you see, oh
15:04
really? Is this individual male or
15:07
female? Is there mental health issues?
15:10
Are they the mask can drop off and you start to see damn, is
15:16
this person really dumb? Is this really person
15:18
submissive? Is this person really who they
15:22
think they are in a dating poor relationship outside the outside
15:27
of the fetish part of play? Yes, you know, someone has
15:32
always asked me, and this is asked countless times.
15:36
They want to know, is it always better to look in the fetish
15:39
lifestyle? That's what the relationship you
15:40
want. Is it best to look on fat life
15:44
or is it really best to look for someone in the vanilla world
15:47
who's willing to crossover and you just tell them about it
15:49
later, You know, and I said, well, I think in all honesty,
15:52
you need to be just upfront with people right from the get go,
15:56
you know, say you're in the kink world.
15:58
You don't have to be specific, but you know, other people are,
16:02
are just like, well, I shouldn't look on regular dating sites.
16:05
I need to go on the kink dating site, you know?
16:08
I've done that, Yeah. I openly have done both.
16:12
I've done the vanilla. I'm going Oh God, that was
16:15
really not. I guess it depends on what you
16:17
need more. Like if you're a hardcore
16:20
submissive you're going to need a Dom and a vanilla won't work
16:23
right? And vice versa, if you're just
16:27
dabbling into it, you might not want to go on fat.
16:31
It's kind of hard. I cannot give anybody good
16:33
advice. Everything I had fucked up.
16:38
I'll join you on that one you know most.
16:40
Of us do in life, most of everybody's got multiple
16:43
divorces. They've got more.
16:44
It doesn't matter if it's kink or not, it's just human.
16:48
Modern Americans dating each other is pretty much a fucking
16:51
nightmare. You get lucky sometimes a few
16:54
people do. Well, I mean, I think a lot of
16:56
people just marry for the wrong reasons.
16:58
You know, I, I've talked about this before.
17:01
I had vanilla friends in the lifestyle, not, excuse me, not
17:04
in the lifestyle, vanilla friends in my regular life at
17:07
work. And they would always look for
17:10
someone who was male, who was somewhat dominant and they
17:14
didn't realize they were looking for a dominant male, but that
17:17
somebody was who was financially stable enough to provide for
17:20
them both so they that she didn't have to work.
17:22
Traditional. Traditional and I'm like, guys,
17:25
that's, that's not what you should go for.
17:28
You need to be a strong, independent woman, you know, And
17:30
then they got shafted every time, you know?
17:33
But that's the scary part. When you are a strong,
17:35
independent woman, that can be intimidating.
17:39
That's when you need a sub. Well, and and if it's going to
17:42
be intimidating, is that when you really want them, you know,
17:45
it's not attractive. But they guise that.
17:47
They disguise that intimidation. That's what I found.
17:51
Like they guise it they. They resent it.
17:54
They resent. That's a yeah, yes, they resent
17:59
it and you can see that coming out eventually.
18:02
Yeah. I never give up hope, though.
18:05
I. Know.
18:07
I know I don't care, but I think it's now more enjoyable to be a
18:12
Unicorn. I'm going to be a Unicorn.
18:15
I've decided that solo life, it will happen if it happens.
18:19
There you go. I think a lot of guys do have it
18:21
figured out though because they have their relationship and then
18:25
they come visit a pro Dom quietly to have their itch
18:29
scratched. That can help.
18:31
I wish more women would come. I would wish more women with
18:34
more women. Where are you coming, ladies?
18:37
You figured they've got to have a need for it because I was
18:40
actually the other day. You figured all these women that
18:42
were, they probably have some male boss who's a prick.
18:44
Would it make them feel better to come from a, you know, long
18:47
day at work and find some willing male and they can just
18:49
whip the crap out of them, You know, like project all their
18:52
hostilities. But what was the study?
18:54
75% of women are submissive or something like that.
18:58
I don't know. We need to look that up.
18:59
That would be a Google. That would be a Google.
19:04
Oh, you mean do it? I'll look it up.
19:05
Go ahead. Yeah, do it.
19:07
Convince us. Our conversation.
19:09
Let's see. So you want to know, are most
19:11
women or what's the percentage? What's the percentage?
19:14
75% somewhere. But there there are times I
19:17
would say in any relationship or any dating you, even if you're
19:22
the dominant you as a female, as a woman, I'm I'm I'm I got to
19:26
say, hey, right now, I don't want to take the lead.
19:30
I do want to be right now. Do you have all the needs that I
19:33
would like? Doesn't make me change who I am.
19:38
Being that goddess, being that dominant is.
19:41
Being flawed is nice, it feels good.
19:43
You can get a little release. I get that.
19:46
I think that's a Dom sub thing. That's just like you got an
19:50
interesting. Yeah.
19:51
It's the same thing with like strapping strap ONS.
19:54
I would say a person wearing a strap on is usually the dominant
19:57
in quotes. Not necessarily.
19:59
Maybe the person on the other end just needs a good rogering.
20:01
Yeah, there they go. No, actually English.
20:04
Jolly Roger. Jolly Roger.
20:06
It could be jolly or it could be not.
20:10
So this is this is in a you Gov study, 21% of women reported
20:15
preferring to be submissive sexually while only 4% preferred
20:21
dominant roles versus men. 18% of men preferred dominance and
20:27
10% preferred submissiveness. But I think those men are lying.
20:33
I think those men are lying. I agree.
20:38
I agree or very skewed, I don't think.
20:41
Yeah, there's really no way to fucking know.
20:43
There's not all these statistics, you know.
20:46
There's not but think about it this way.
20:48
How many dominant women that we know, We know that one is who's
20:52
in that great relationship. We know that dominant female,
20:55
but really, how often do we meet dominant females?
20:58
It's. Extremely rare.
20:59
It's extremely rare. For pure dominant, some are the
21:03
skewed dominant, sure, but it's it's hard to find.
21:06
It is very. Hard a lot more sub and I
21:08
thought there were. Ohh gosh, we know shit, shit.
21:15
You do know this is me I have. We have that as well.
21:19
And I I can I sometimes find that turn off.
21:24
It it is for you because that is not what you want.
21:27
It's not what I want in a in that dating environment.
21:31
I still want that strong man. I don't want to have to be and
21:35
I'm. Fucking him with a strap on.
21:37
Fucking him. I mean, that's fine, but I don't
21:39
necessarily want to. Maybe I go back to being a
21:42
little bit old fashioned here, but I don't always want to be
21:45
paying the bills, cleaning up after you, sitting there waiting
21:52
for another silk on, you know, that's what I experienced, but
21:57
I'm very. Dominant that women are like
22:00
spaghetti. You think of a plate of
22:02
spaghetti where all the noodles touch each other.
22:04
All your aspects of your personality, your one thing.
22:07
Males are more like waffles, little compartments.
22:10
Sometimes they touch each other. But well, I say you're let's say
22:13
you've been to war and say you're a submissive male who's
22:15
been in a war. That's not a submissive thing.
22:18
No, it's not. And then maybe because I like
22:20
strap ONS on the side. Those are two separate things,
22:23
but they're part of the whole. But you see, oh, he likes strap
22:26
ONS. Doesn't matter what else I've
22:27
done. A lot of them would see it that
22:28
way. But men, we we see it as you can
22:31
compartmentalize. And I've heard women complain
22:34
that we can turn ourselves off emotionally.
22:36
And that's true. It's easy.
22:37
All right, so Charles, you could go to war, but you're very much
22:41
submissive, man. You've been in the middle.
22:43
With though, honestly. Well, no, I'm saying in the real
22:46
world, yeah, you're a dominant man.
22:48
I don't. Know it's hard to say.
22:50
You're a dominant man. I I I prefer lone wolf.
22:54
You're a lone wolf, but you don't ask for guidance from
22:57
people. Yeah, you're on your own.
22:59
You're strong, independent man. OK, But then when it comes to me
23:02
for example. Ohh, Putty.
23:04
You're putty. You're a little submissive
23:06
bitch, and that's cool. I love it.
23:08
You love it now, Dragon Lane, do you think that you just want a
23:13
man man in bed and you want a little submissiveness for a guy
23:18
who's going to clean and do the other thing?
23:19
Yeah, see, because a dominant man is going to be like, you're
23:23
going to clean up your shit, bitch.
23:27
I want them to do this, do things around my house, help me
23:32
do this, ride me here, take me there, do this, do that.
23:36
Just do. Just get you a stable, get you
23:38
one dominant male to fuck your brain and a couple of bitch
23:41
boys. You clean your house.
23:43
Volunteers are welcome to. Are you?
23:46
Out there, you're welcome to send a message I'm.
23:48
Looking at her boobs, you're gonna love this shit.
23:51
Ohh. You're looking at my boob.
23:53
Well, fuck, yeah. But yeah, if you wanted to lure
23:55
him in, hey fuck. Yeah, you mean that boob?
23:57
She's flashing the boob. I'm not on camera.
23:58
But yeah, they're nice. Come on studies, you might be
24:02
able to see your titty. Yes.
24:04
So for everyone's knowledge you wear dragonlings layer right now
24:09
on fat? Yes, Struggling's layer.
24:11
OK, Yes. And that's evolving in relation.
24:14
I started out as struggling's girl.
24:16
Yes. 15 years ago, yes, and it's just evolved and now it's
24:20
struggling's layer I my headspace is different.
24:25
I think you're tired of the bullshit.
24:27
Just say that. Yeah, I'm.
24:28
Tired of the absolute? It's my God drop.
24:31
Stay away from me. If if you if you're gonna come
24:34
to me with all your drama and problems, then I'm.
24:38
Gonna bring you some drama. I'm gonna bring you.
24:40
No, I am. No.
24:41
Drama. Do you know what I see though?
24:42
Because I've seen different people that you've dated God.
24:47
Thank you. You need to laugh as well,
24:50
Charles. But yes, unfortunately my, my
24:53
dating history hasn't been, you know, I.
24:57
See that? Thank you.
24:58
I see, you know, you have these amazing characteristics for
25:01
people and you're like a magnet. You're the strong magnet that
25:05
people are drawn to because you're independent, because
25:07
you're strong, because you take care of yourself.
25:10
And I think they want to be like you, but they can't.
25:13
They can't acquire that. They can't, you know, they can't
25:16
get to that point. But then when they can't, they
25:18
feel like they have to use in order to try to achieve
25:22
something or try to be somebody they're not.
25:25
Yeah. And.
25:25
It it is, and we've spoken about that.
25:28
Often we have. You know, I've spoken about that
25:30
with my friends, both in the lifestyle and out of the
25:34
lifestyle. See, I, I experienced the same
25:37
thing before I met my second husband.
25:39
I experienced the same thing. But what I found was even when I
25:43
was just dating guys that were a little bit of a switch, you
25:48
know, it was still problematic because they still want to bring
25:50
out this little dominance to them.
25:52
I'm like, Oh no, no, no, bitch, no, no, no.
25:54
It ain't going there. Because I mean, I had my own
25:56
business. I was like you, I was an
25:58
entrepreneur. I did this, this and this and I
26:01
wasn't dependent on anybody, but it seemed like the submissive
26:04
male who wasn't genuine, they would.
26:07
Take tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick.
26:09
Yeah. So, I mean, maybe it's just the
26:11
fact that we're strong, independent women, you know,
26:13
that we draw these leeches. Yeah, if, if there's a survey
26:17
out there for any of our listeners, what's your
26:20
experience, I'd like to know. We should do a survey.
26:23
Is that? How you Is that what you've had
26:26
though? You've had submissive leeches.
26:28
I have in the. Past of them trying to better
26:30
help you out. Oh, absolutely.
26:32
They drain. They drain you.
26:34
They drain you. Yeah.
26:35
What was it I said? Vampire energies, yes.
26:38
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Won't be a needy or something.
26:41
I had this guy who came down from New York and he posed to me
26:45
as a different person, try to save as an entrepreneur.
26:47
It wasn't, it was a lie. All these things.
26:50
He said he was submissive. Well, he was only submissive in
26:52
bed. And then when he flipped the
26:54
script and he wanted to be a little dominant in the real
26:57
life, I was like, hold the phone, Chuck, this shit ain't
27:00
gonna fly, you know? And that happened multiple
27:03
times. It really did.
27:05
And ultimately, I was like dragonling.
27:08
I wasn't going Unicorn with women or couples.
27:11
I would see women just fun every so often.
27:14
But I was primarily saying, you know, single males trying to
27:18
date with the potential. And that's what I would run
27:20
into, you know, just little leeches taking apart pick, pick,
27:24
you know? But that's why I said this
27:27
dating pool now where we are now and.
27:30
Over 40 I mean. Over 45.
27:32
That is just you're fucking yourself every day.
27:34
Yeah, been there, done that. You know, it's I feel it's the
27:39
another part of a journey when we get to a certain age and a
27:43
maturity and a is it easier and less complicated to say hey, and
27:49
it's I think it's more truthful. You know, I've found that.
27:51
More. Truthful.
27:52
Yeah, I think I'm more truthful with myself now and.
27:56
Do you know what ain't going to work?
27:57
Yeah. But I'd be curious, can you put
27:59
a survey they out on here? You know, I'm sure.
28:02
They like to see, yeah. Spotify let's us do that.
28:05
Yeah, we'll do it. I'd like to see what women out
28:08
there, what's your experience and tell us your story.
28:12
You know, is it just me? But I'm sure it's not you.
28:15
Know there are a lot of I've met a lot of submissive women too
28:17
though, and they are also about that parasite you talk about.
28:20
Oh, I believe. It they're really needy, I think
28:24
you have to, they have to find the right kind of dog.
28:26
And they want us. They want you financially, they
28:29
want you to support. That no, I think that's a
28:31
separate category. Some of them are like looking
28:34
for a meal ticket and act anywhere they can to get it, and
28:38
some are actually submissive and looking for a meal ticket.
28:41
I think that's two different things, though.
28:43
I could be wrong, because some of them, like emotionally
28:47
they're just they, they need a lot more.
28:49
Or what you call it, attention seekers.
28:53
Yeah, yeah. We know what we're talking
28:55
about, certainly. We were, we were talking about
28:57
that. It's like emotional leeches.
28:59
It's the same concept, you know, just wanting to constant
29:03
attention. Need you.
29:05
Yeah. But I found that with also with
29:09
the with the Dom that it it it's like I don't live this one
29:14
relationship was where are you? What you doing?
29:17
Where you going to be like dude that the fuck off I'm at work
29:22
sorry for swearing but it's like the fuck off.
29:27
I. Know you know about the I'm
29:29
working, I'm this I can't respond to you and you suddenly
29:32
find these Doms. It's actually they need
29:34
emotional support. They need to know where you are,
29:39
what you do and what where you going to be.
29:41
And it's like that's not doming. Yeah, that's that's being a
29:44
little bitch. He knows you're going to be out
29:46
there and find somebody better, and then they're going to nag on
29:49
you to kind of keep you broken. And yeah, that's not a real.
29:52
Bomb I'd never thought about. It that way what you think about
29:54
it's the same in a relationship when a male keeps breaking down
29:58
a woman you know talking bad about her.
30:01
It just, it kills her self esteem to where she didn't think
30:05
she can go anywhere else. But I've seen Doms do that shit
30:08
where they won't let, won't let go of the rains because they're
30:11
worried because they're going to find somebody better because
30:13
deep down they know they're pretenders.
30:16
I've met a few of them. Yeah, we've seen, yeah, we've
30:19
seen a few of them. Twat waffles.
30:25
In front Texas. Yeah, exactly.
30:30
Yeah. Anyway, it's not about us.
30:32
It's not the old listeners. We love you.
30:37
Dragonlink, we are in 185 countries now.
30:41
Amazing. And that amazing.
30:43
Congratulations. Thank.
30:45
You in Africa, the kinky Africans.
30:46
Good for you guys. And we're like every every
30:49
African, it seems, is listening to the bot.
30:51
They love it. That's.
30:52
Fantastic. That's an achievement.
30:54
Yeah. I think the first podcast I was
30:56
on with you about two years ago now coming up to two years,
30:59
Yeah, two years in May. So that's phenomenal.
31:02
Well. Done.
31:03
Isn't that great? We'll have two more countries to
31:05
go. Yeah, yeah.
31:06
Before all the blacklist people that don't have Internet in
31:10
North Koreans, I was listening to it.
31:15
I think let's get Elon Musk and start.
31:20
There's some of them listening. He's got kink going on ohh.
31:24
Absolutely. And he probably owned it if you
31:28
ran into blackmail. You know what?
31:31
Yeah, I like winning the poo in a strap on.
31:35
Oh God, she's not what I was gonna say.
31:38
Any any relationship. I'm sorry.
31:40
That is a definite no for me. If you're gonna say scat I, I
31:43
don't know if I could. Winnie the Pooh.
31:45
You know, the guy with a T-shirt.
31:46
Winnie the Pooh? I thought you went pooing.
31:50
No. Oh my God, I like.
31:51
Where your mind went? But hey, you know I was going to
31:54
poo like Winnie the Pooh. Where?
31:55
It is the. British, I should know this,
31:58
yes, but I know we and Pooh, that's what I heard.
32:01
Also no longer trademarks and sewers because they lost their
32:05
trademark on it. Yeah, so now we can use it.
32:08
You. See.
32:09
You see where it goes, Dirty minds.
32:12
I'm thinking we and Poo and you went Winnie the Pooh.
32:15
You wouldn't break out the we fine.
32:19
Hey, you know you can pay me. Yes, secrets out tall.
32:29
He is fine. Pooh is a little nasty, but
32:30
yeah, everything's under the right circuit, yes.
32:33
Right. Yes, this lady over here, she
32:35
told me to do something. I'm probably going to do it.
32:37
Damn. Such a good buy.
32:40
Well, thank you, I might think so.
32:41
I try to be. Yeah, he's pretty awesome.
32:44
Yeah, he sells himself short all the time.
32:47
Yeah, all the time. That's OK.
32:50
I have my sweet little husband and he'll say to me, do you
32:52
really love me? I'm like, oh, I'm like, what's
32:55
not to love more than life? Itself so much it's actually
32:59
kind of like, I don't know what's the right word for this.
33:02
He's really sweet, but at the same time you're like you
33:08
jealous, but then again, just like is it so good is something
33:13
that that fairy tale but damn close.
33:15
Oh, with our relationship, I won't brag like that, but it's
33:18
pretty awesome. I mean, we both have our flaws,
33:21
obviously. But you mash together you.
33:23
Have a good balance, you have balance and I think in
33:27
relationship it is that balance I.
33:29
Think so? Not fairy tale.
33:31
Something like that though. I think it's pretty awesome,
33:34
honestly. I mean, you know, he lets me
33:36
play with Charles. He has no issues with that, you
33:38
know? And then, you know, I play with
33:41
other people all the time. He has no issues with that, you
33:44
know. And that is where I was going.
33:46
It's great. Back to the very beginning.
33:48
That's the relationship that's out there in that dating pool.
33:53
They start you off saying yes, yes, yes, and then they flip it
33:57
on you. Dragonly, I'm telling you, I
33:59
really think you need to take a whole other perspective on
34:02
things and go in to meet a submissive male because they
34:07
honestly, so many submissive men are just truer to themselves
34:10
because they're willing to embrace it honestly.
34:13
And like like a sub male like me, I'm more than willing to
34:16
hey, if you need a dominant male on the side, go ahead because
34:19
that just pleases my goddess. Let's.
34:21
See what's out there? You never know. 6/4 at least,
34:26
yeah. 511 would be 511, yeah. They're a tiny part of the
34:31
population. I'm not, you know, I'm not
34:34
looking for. Two males or 64 genetically
34:38
gonna be more dumb. I know.
34:39
'Cause the tallest guy in the room ends up leading something.
34:42
I know. You put platform shoes on them.
34:45
Yeah, right, 511, no. I saw the different podcast on
34:52
YouTube where women were talking about their ideal man and they
34:55
wanted a guy 6 foot 36 figures, 9 inches.
35:00
Yeah, yeah. Why?
35:03
It's always about money I hate. That just like they're like 1.3%
35:08
of the population and you're, they're all chasing it.
35:11
Yeah, the rest of us are plumbers and shit.
35:14
Charles, you've really never dabbled here locally like
35:17
Dragonling and I have when we've gone to other events, right?
35:21
I've seen enough from the peripheries.
35:24
Yeah, you've seen enough. You've heard enough.
35:26
But you know, that's the thing with Dragonling and I, we know
35:28
that in this community there might be two actual dominant
35:32
males in each event we go to. You know, you figure there's
35:35
rigors, there's there's guys and, you know, fire there's
35:39
guys. And yeah, you know, I was going
35:43
to say other type of rope. Making roles.
35:45
Yeah, their lifestyle. Everybody's compartmentalized in
35:48
the other area like a leather guy or this you that, you know,
35:52
everybody's such a special. Yeah.
35:54
But I mean, in actuality there's really, it's like there's a lot
35:58
of switch males, but I mean, it's so difficult to find a good
36:01
dominant male. Yeah.
36:03
And honestly, I can't tell you an actual Dom male that I know
36:06
that is stable mentally, physically, healthy wise.
36:11
I mean just like. Lucky dude, he's got somebody,
36:14
right? Yeah, he's got somebody.
36:15
Spoken for, and that's a definite no.
36:19
Yeah, yeah. OK.
36:20
Like Master Bob. I don't know if you all got to
36:23
meet him at the last party. I love Master Bob.
36:26
He's fucking awesome. He's.
36:27
I think he's 60 now. He's.
36:30
So he's just a sexy little man. He looks like a sexy little
36:32
devil with Gray hair and a cute little mustache.
36:36
No, no, this guy, he's like 60 years old and he has a black
36:42
wife and a white slave girl. Yes, yes.
36:47
And they, they all three came to the party.
36:49
Yes. They're fucking awesome.
36:51
And they've kept this dynamic going for the last four years.
36:53
Yeah, and he's. Been married to his wife for God
36:57
30 years. They have, you know, children in
36:59
their 20s. I mean, they're they're doing,
37:02
he's doing something right. Yeah.
37:03
But I think it's because he's, he's intelligent, he's
37:06
travelled. I mean, he's just a well versed
37:09
man. He really is kind of like the
37:10
gentleman we're talking about earlier.
37:12
Yes, you know that. Emotional intelligence.
37:15
Just intelligent, but emotional intelligence, and I think that's
37:19
very rare nowadays. It is.
37:23
That's my findings and correct me if I'm wrong.
37:27
Tell me if that's not how it is. That's just my experience being
37:32
a single turn or or out there for the last two years and
37:36
dated. It's not.
37:38
There is Hope Dragon, OH. Gosh, I am not.
37:41
I am not about to give up. Well.
37:43
They're getting better on building androids.
37:46
What is programming what you need?
37:48
That would be nice. You know, I'm just putting
37:52
myself out there. I'm just sort of like, Nope, I'm
37:55
undateable now. Unless, and you know what's ever
37:58
to happen, that right man's gonna just come right up and be
38:02
there when I am not looking or wanting.
38:05
Exactly. That's the wanting part.
38:07
Maybe that's it. So this is going to be a burden.
38:10
It can be. Fight.
38:11
I ain't looking. Well, I think like all things,
38:14
it starts at home. I think growing up and teaching
38:18
your kid and not fucking babying them, you know, and turning them
38:22
into a fucking man, that's what you need.
38:27
And you know, I love my mother-in-law.
38:29
She's so fucking awesome. But I remember a story that my
38:31
husband told me that when he was a kid, he had to be like 7 or 8
38:35
years old and he had a bottle and he had caught some critters.
38:39
I think it was like little bumblebees or whatever else he
38:42
did. And he had it in this 2 liter
38:45
container. Anyway, he's holding the
38:46
container and he's taking a knight or scissors, excuse me,
38:49
scissors trying to pop holes in the cap.
38:52
And his mother said if you do that, you're going to end up
38:56
stabbing yourself. You're doing it the wrong way.
38:58
And he wouldn't listen to her. And you know, the scissors went
39:01
right through the web of his hand, right?
39:03
And she says here, after he cut himself and stabbed himself
39:06
good, she threw him a towel. And she said, hey, you're
39:09
bleeding. Stop the bleeding.
39:11
I'm not taking you to the hospital.
39:13
Right. It's like don't put your if you
39:15
put your hand in the fight, it's gonna get burned.
39:17
It is. And you don't know what being
39:19
burnt is until you put your hand in the fight and go.
39:21
That's what you meant. I.
39:24
Kind of get what they're going through.
39:25
You fucking learn. It's fucking learn, it's
39:28
happening. Don't baby your fucking kids.
39:30
And then they turn out to be fucking baby bitches baby.
39:33
Bitches see, right? Then identify those giraffes.
39:43
Subs, you know, true. I mean, as we said earlier on,
39:47
we've all got our quirks, we've all got our but nobody out there
39:51
is perfect and perfection changes every second in
39:54
ourselves. So it doesn't.
39:57
There's no such there's. No such thing, right?
40:00
But you know, just that I would say that dating pool out there,
40:04
whether it's vanilla, whether it's fetish.
40:08
BDSM or swinging, it's it's a mesh.
40:12
It's just let's. Just hurry and build a robots
40:17
program to be compatible with our bullshit.
40:20
And. Delete shit.
40:21
Those sex dolls are looking more real by the day.
40:25
Can you throw us some AI with it?
40:27
Just shit. But they're putting so much
40:30
input on these beautiful women dolls.
40:33
They need to really make the male dolls.
40:35
I look like that. See, they could.
40:37
Do. That but they need to look
40:38
better. They still look like fucking Ken
40:40
Barbie. Do you like my mind?
40:43
Like Ken? I'm sorry, that is not.
40:45
No. No, I do not want to Ken.
40:48
No, I didn't like Ken when I was.
40:50
Ken, I like GI Joe. He was.
40:52
Sexiest I was a Cindy doll and I didn't like Barbie and Ken and I
40:58
was just like. Yeah.
41:00
Had no bulge, he was quite flat. I never really looked that.
41:06
Had to missing here. She didn't have nipples, had
41:13
nothing. They had his pants were glued
41:15
on. You know, they came out with a
41:17
pregnant Barbie a few years ago and they took that off the
41:19
shelf. Yeah.
41:20
Yeah. She now they have like like
41:23
traditional women size Barbies in a sense where they actually
41:26
have like fat hips and big titties.
41:29
Real life. Yeah, real life.
41:30
Women. Yeah, like junk in the trunk.
41:32
Fatter. Kardashian.
41:34
Oh my God, let's not even start going down that.
41:39
That's a whole different podcast.
41:41
It is. It is.
41:42
Be nitty as well. Oh God, shit.
41:46
Well, those those that trial is going to be starting next month.
41:50
Pretty Diddy. So yeah, I can't wait to watch
41:53
that shit. It's going.
41:54
To be interesting. Yeah, it's definitely dating the
41:58
wrong person. I was.
41:59
Thinking about having a black party instead of a White Party.
42:04
Have a Diddy Doo Doo party. Right, a Diddy Doo Doo party.
42:08
I don't know what it means, I just made it I.
42:10
Just heard duty. I'm like it was it.
42:14
All goes back to shit he. Probably won't get a trial and
42:19
start throwing names. You know, he'll just have a
42:21
little accident in jail. That.
42:24
Say there's been a lot of people that have already been summoned
42:29
and everything else, they're going to appear.
42:30
Yeah. So, well, we'll see What?
42:33
Happens. Yeah, he's not dead yet, so.
42:35
Yeah, he's not suicide dead now can you say that?
42:38
Yeah, that's. An actual verb.
42:44
He's not killed yet. Yeah, that stuff happened.
42:48
They're natural. I did not have sexual
42:51
relationships. I did not suicide myself.
42:56
Yeah. She dokey like to watch it and
43:01
like really? Did I date that person?
43:04
Oh my gosh. Oh wow, Dateline, all the
43:06
different. Oh God, it was a Tuesday
43:08
afternoon. Shit.
43:11
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
43:15
I think Charles and I were talking about this.
43:17
It was a serial killer that ended up he looked like Charles
43:20
Bundy. I meant, excuse me, Charles Ted.
43:26
He had like Ted head Monday. Yeah, but he had long hair
43:29
because he still had that like the curly, WAVY, you know, dark
43:33
brown hair. And he was on like love
43:35
connection or one of those the dating the dating show they.
43:39
Made a movie on it. Yes, yes, yes, I watched.
43:43
It so our fate did not end up like that so.
43:46
Good to know. Good to know, Yeah.
43:50
Nice. It could always be worse.
43:53
It can always be worse. I think we'll leave it on that.
43:56
How about that? Yeah, I think it's.
43:58
A message of hope. Yes, do not give up and if
44:03
you're male and you like attractling in your life.
44:07
Yes, yes, Dragonling travels too.
44:10
So I do you know any country? Let's talk about that.
44:13
Yeah, alright. Charles, why are you looking at
44:17
me confused? Her kids are rocking.
44:19
I know, baby. I'm looking right at them.
44:21
You guys are gonna like it. Damn, yeah.
44:24
It's gonna have some free advertisements.
44:27
Absolutely so, Dragonling. This has been the latest episode
44:31
of. Call me Mistress.