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John Hayes - The Power of Past Influences: A Heartfelt Conversation · Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Hi, I'm Riley.
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: And I'm Ryder and this is my Dad's Show.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: Hey everybody, it's KCJ Cox with the quarterback Dadcast.
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: I'm excited to announce we have a brand new sponsor joining the show, which is called LatitudeSitkacom, a Latitude 57.
• 0:20
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• 0:28
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• 0:38
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• 0:40
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• 0:40
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• 1:01
  Speaker 2: If none of those sound interesting to you, well then go.
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: Stay on land and go ITVing, hiking, hot springs, yoga, take a massage in.
• 1:09
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• 1:18
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• 1:24
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• 1:25
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• 1:30
  Speaker 2: So with that, let's welcome LatitudeSitka to the podcast and get right to today's episode.
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: Hey, everybody, before we get to today's episode, our next guest, the 14, lost his father on October 5th, and John Patrick Hayes.
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: Jack Hayes is the father of John Hayes, our next guest, and when we recorded, john's dad was in hospice and going through some assisted living.
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: And unfortunately, you know I had, as I shared with you before on season three we lost my dad, mike Jacobs, on December 29, 2021.
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: And I want to just tribute to John's dad, jack, and just wish him the best in his next journey of life and let John know we're thinking about your brother.
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: I appreciate you coming on to share your story and know your dad is smiling down on you from heaven, and I just wanted to dedicate this episode to him.
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: So with that, let's get to today's episode.
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: Well, hey, everybody, it's KCJ Cox with the quarterback, dad Cass.
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: We are in season four, approaching season five, and I feel, like every guest we have towards the end of this this year, they keep getting better.
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: And this next gentleman.
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: He's right there.
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: I'm not just saying it because I'm lucky enough in this entrepreneurial world I'm living that I've been able to meet different people outside of the industry.
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: I spent for 20 years and I'm realizing how many fantastic people there are in this industry and John Hayes is definitely one of them, and I want to give a huge shout out to Keith Waidman for making this our relationship happen and having a chance to meet him at the Bullhorn and Gauge conference back in June.
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: But John is a he's a.
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: He's a Spartan.
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: He was a club president of the baseball team.
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: We're going to we're going to learn a little bit about that.
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: He's the alt.
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: He's currently the president of all two IT services, which is a subsidiary of systems one.
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: I had the opportunity to speak at John's sales kickoff meeting, sales summer meeting this in Baltimore, north Bethesda, which is a fantastic area.
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: I could actually see myself living there and the culture that he has created was fantastic and actually I felt so energized.
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: But, with all that said, that's not why we have John on today.
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: We're going to learn about John the dad and we'll learn how John's working hard to become that ultimate or continued leader of his households.
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: Without further ado.
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: Mr Hayes, welcome to the quarterback.
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: Dad cast.
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: Thanks, casey, nice to be here.
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: Well, I'm honored, so we always start each episode with gratitude, so tell me, what are you most grateful for as a dad today?
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: You know, I'm grateful that I have a marriage of over 30 years.
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: I have two wonderful daughters and I should be a grandfather and about six months from now.
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: So, wow, lots, lots to be thankful and grateful for.
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: Wow, I thought you're going to say you're grateful for the 40 zero beating the Giantsack this weekend.
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: Thanks, no, not grateful for that.
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: I you know yesterday, you know as someone that grew up in Jersey and the New York area yesterday being 9 11, very difficult day for a lot of people, right, and definitely a day that we'll never forget.
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: But I am looking forward to forgetting 9, 10, september 10th is a day and night that I can forget.
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, not a good day for my New York Giants.
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: Well, my Seahawks, you looked atrocious as well.
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: But like we joked about before intro, I think if our teams go 16 to one, we should be safe.
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: I think that should be good.
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: We should be good.
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: We got you got to believe right.
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, we can be.
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: We could probably be one in one and seven at some point and still finish 10 and seven and stick our way in, right.
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: That's right.
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: Well, I'm grateful.
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: I'm grateful for getting the experience, as scary as it is to have a 17 year old son, 15 year old daughter and she now.
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: Just it's funny how your kids are so different.
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: Like my son, when he first got his permit he was like, yeah, it'd be kind of fun to drive, but he wasn't like begging to do it.
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: My daughter all she wants to do is drive like nonstop.
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: So it's so fun, so like she's doing great and I literally can't believe it's happening and times needs to slow down and know it's not.
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: So I'm just grateful for the time when she asked me to drive, because sometimes I'm tired with the new puppy we have in the house and I'm like, ah, but I'm like you bet I'd love to, let's go.
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: And so I'm grateful for the time that we get to spend in the car together.
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: So what's the driving age?
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: Out where you live, you get your permit at 15.
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: 15.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, yeah, maryland was 16 and then driving at 17.
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: So it was a little bit later, yeah.
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I would maybe like that, because there's a lot of things you don't realize, you don't know on the road and even like there's, you get me in some like tight construction areas.
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: I'm a little like you know 10 and two a little bit buckle up and but I'm thinking God he put a 15 year old kid in some of these areas.
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: Well, dacey.
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: So I you mentioned that I was a Spartan from the UNC, greensboro Spartans, but when I, you know, I went to, so I went to college down there and I, you know, you quickly learned that if they forecast snow in Greensboro, north Carolina, on a, on a when, if they forecast snow for Wednesday, on a Monday, they sculpt closed schools on Tuesday down there because they were so scared.
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: But the crazy thing is is, down there, you got your permit at 15 and license at 16.
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: And there were 16 year olds driving the school bus.
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: Wow, now, this, this is, this is, you know, taking me back to 1984.
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: But how, how frightening is that?
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: Well, I I can visualize it now in a 16 year olds driving a bus.
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: I'm thinking we either got Van Halen or ZZ Top Blaren.
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: There you go there you go?
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: No, acid wash jeans, tight rolled yeah, maybe smoking.
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: Slick wreck Boy.
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: Okay, so you are.
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: You're a Spartan.
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: Before we dive into the family, tell me about this, this baseball journey.
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: The baseball journey.
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: So it was.
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: It was always my sport.
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: You know, I grew up I grew up a Mets fan in in in New Jersey and I'm one of those weird New York Mets, new York Giants fans, usually at Yankees Giants.
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: But my, my dad was a Brooklyn Dodger fan.
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: So when when the Dodgers moved to LA there was no way he could become a Yankee fan, so kind of siphoned into into the Mets world.
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: But yeah, you know, casey, I played, obviously all the way through high school, went, went to UNCG and UNC.
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: Greensboro at the time was a D, was a D three school and didn't really have a baseball team.
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: So you mentioned the club sports president.
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: So I quickly got involved with club sports and ended up the club sports president for the whole school and handled the budget and handled all that and you know I was able to siphon a little more money to baseball.
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: But we, but we, I'm going to tell you it was.
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: It was a great learning experience for me, you know it was scheduling games, it was buying uniforms, it was scheduling fields, it was.
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: It was a lot of work.
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: At times it was probably the work I preferred to do rather than going to Western Civ 101 or 102.
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: But yeah, it was great.
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: I mean we were, and back in the day we were and I think club sports has obviously grown tremendously right now but we were playing Chapel Hill and Duke and North Carolina A&T and Radford in Virginia and just all these schools and Appalachian State.
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: I got a funny story for you about that if you want to hear it.
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: But we had a good team.
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: I mean, we had guys.
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: We had guys that were drafted that by you know, and MLB has so many rounds.
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: But you know, one, two of the guys we had pitching were great players and we beat some good teams.
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: We played.
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: We played North Carolina A&T in Memorial Stadium in Greensboro, north Carolina, which is where the Yankees triple A team played at the time.
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: Oh, wow.
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: So at the beginning of the game I met with the coach.
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: So the ump you know the umpire, two head coaches were standing there and North Carolina A&T the week before I may just screw this up broke a record basically for runs and an inning where I think they scored 17 runs and an inning.
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: So so against against another D1 school and the coach said to me, were said to the umpire, that he wanted to put a slaughter role in place and I argued against it and blah, and anyway I said fine, put it in.
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: And we beat the crap out of it and to the point where I started batting lefty.
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: So we basically 10 run them in five innings and they had sent an NCAA weekend or record the weekend before.
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: Wow, but yeah, so it was fun.
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: It was fun.
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: So I in high school I played shortstop and pitched Like a lot of people do Love shortstop.
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: I would prefer shortstop to pitching, but was able to do both.
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: I was a small kid.
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: I was 5'11", 140.
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: I think when I graduated high school the glove was my strength, my head was probably my strength and I developed back then what was a fork ball, which is now the split finger fastball.
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so I ended up with the nickname Spoons, wow, because the ball would just fall.
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: I got to the home plate which would fall.
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: So yeah, it was fun, it was fun.
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: I miss those days.
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: I don't play as much.
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: I turned.
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: I was 40, or in my 40s playing softball and loved the game.
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: And at that point I started playing left field because it was more fun for me and I tracked the fly ball into the gap and put my glove out and the ball went right over my glove.
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: I realized I couldn't see anymore, walked off the field, took my cleats off, dropped them in the garbage and haven't been back on a field.
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: Haven't been back on a field other than coaching, which I coached my daughters in softball.
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, that was the end of my playing career.
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: So good, yeah Well, perfect transition.
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: I'd love to go inside the Hayes Huddle then Tell me a little bit about your wife, how you both met, and then talk about both your daughters.
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: So Heather and I met over a game of Pictionary in her dorm room at UNC, greensboro so she's from Darrell, north Carolina.
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: We were playing that game of Pictionary and it was her and her roommate and me and my girlfriend at the time.
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and when I realized she couldn't get through a game of Pictionary, I found myself looking at Heather the whole time during the game.
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: So we started dating and 89, got married in 92, and still together today, moved from I, graduated and got into the furniture industry and Heather's three years younger than me, so she was still in school there.
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: But I eventually moved to Arizona.
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: When I went to Arizona I asked her to marry me and came back, got married in Greensboro, lived in Arizona from 91 through 94, and then moved to Maryland.
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: So once we got to Maryland we started a family and Allie came soon after that.
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: Allie actually works for System One right now so she handles the social media for System One.
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: She started like a lot of people.
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: She went to K-Force for a little bit and your past history and left K-Force and came to Alta.
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: When I came to Alta and started as a recruiting, went into a little business development and then we reckoned she was very creative.
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: She was a creative side, very good with language, with puns, with things like that and Alta recognized that we needed somebody to create a presence within social media.
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: So she did that and I recognized that I really couldn't grow her here.
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: And she that's fine.
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: I was talking to the VP of Marketing at System One about how can I grow her and two weeks later he called me on the phone and he went how about I steal her?
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: So Allie's flown off to System One with the parent company doing well and now lives in Tampa, got married almost a year ago, last October 22nd.
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: So she and her husband, josh, live down outside of Tampa and they'll be expecting their first child in February.
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: So they know the date February.
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: It's supposed to be February 19th.
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: Well, that could be, so.
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: My wedding anniversary is February 20th.
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, allie's concern is next year is a February 29th year, so she's like it, better not be the 29th.
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: And I went no, no, no, leap year, baby.
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: At this point you'll be induced onto 28th or hold me till the first.
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: Right, exactly, exactly so yeah, and two years later we had her and I had Jessica.
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: So Jessica still lives in Maryland.
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: She went to the university.
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: She started at NC State.
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: They dropped her major, which was speech pathology, so transferred to Maryland, got her degree in speech pathology and was a big part of the sorority, seen there from a leadership standpoint, and after college I guess I wanna call it a gap year took a gap year to support her sorority and got the opportunity to travel across the country to go to chapters of the sorority that weren't performing well or needed assistance at different colleges, and in doing that she realized that she didn't wanna be a speech pathologist anymore, so went to George Watt, went to GW and got her master's in instructional design.
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: So she's an instructional designer now for a company by the name of Bazuto, which is a property management company headquartered here in Maryland.
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: She lives with her Corgi Benson, her best friend, and she lives close to Alta's Rockville office down here in Gaithersburg.
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: So Very cool, yep, very cool.
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: This is like kinda small world.
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: So I mentioned before we recorded John.
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: Shout out to John Beck, former QB DadCast guest, which is, I think, is absolutely coming up right before yours.
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: His daughter actually runs social media for his company as well.
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: Really.
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah so yeah, you know.
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: That's the connection right there.
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know where John is in his life, but you know, I'm 57 and I'm obviously into social media, being in technology a little bit, and I understand it, but I don't have the creativity to draw people in, and I think that's what Allie does.
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: Well, you know, alta had been in business since 2004, and when Allie started in that role in 2021-ish, late 21, I believe Alta had 12,000 followers.
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: So in the next two years, we've now broken 30,000, so it's and it's growing.
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: So she's now trying to do the same thing with System One to grow their numbers, and it's a different game.
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: You know, at System One, there's so many different companies that they own in different areas that it's not it's not an easy task.
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: So yeah, Shout out to Allie that a girl Press the stop.
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: I'm a lucky guy.
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: I have two daughters that have made me very proud over the years, and, whether it's softball or tennis or soccer, yeah, I'm a lucky guy.
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: Well, instructional design is an art as well, helping people learn the right way.
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: Well it is.
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: So she's creating a lot of the training packages for the people that run their properties, the people that build their properties and everybody else.
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: So she, finally you know she got her masters in 2021 during the pandemic, when everybody was at home, so she's one of those people that you know want a couple of her first jobs.
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: She never met anybody and was miserable.
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: So now she's back in the office three days a week with Pizzuto and, yeah, it's a different world.
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: I can't imagine that I'm going through the same thing right now with my company.
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: Today's pretty much the first mandatory day back in the office.
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: What a gift, Alta, you get to be together.
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: You can high five each other One, alta right, kase Right, that's right, one of one Alta, embrace it, team Alta.
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: That energy I felt I know you guys will recreate it and you'll be like why didn't we do this sooner?
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I hope so.
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: That's what I'm banking on.
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: That's what I'm banking on.
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: Okay, I like to always ask this next question of our guest to go back in time and tell me a little bit about what was Life Flight growing up for you, John, and talk about the impact your parents had on you now that you're a dad, or almost a grandpa.
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: I am almost a grandpa, that's.
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: I don't like that word.
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: I don't like that word.
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: So I was an only child, grew up I was born in Jamaica, queens in New York, grew up from three years old on in Edison, new Jersey and it was good, you know it was good.
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: I look now and I tell everyone, kase, don't have an only child and we can get into a little bit that later.
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: But my dad was in the furniture industry, which kind of is what led me down to North Carolina as I look for colleges.
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: Certainly wasn't like it is today where you can go online and study.
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: Back then I knew Rutgers and Notre Dame, right, and every school for sports, but ended up at UNCG.
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: You know my childhood was around sports.
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: I was lucky enough to be able to go to New York Knit Games as a child in New York.
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: Eventually New Jersey net games when they moved from the ABA to the NBA, and giant games and net games and whatever.
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: So a lot of my childhood was around sports.
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: But my dad, going back to the furniture, he worked for Thomasville Furniture.
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: He ran the Metropolitan New York Territory, which was basically central Northern Jersey, new York and parts of Connecticut, so sold furniture.
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: I used to go on sales meetings all the time with them, from probably five years old on up, just watching and watching, and watching, and I think, it.
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's where they are now in their lives it brings.
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: You know, there's a lot of things going through my mind right now.
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: They're eating.
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: My parents are 89 and 93 right now Damn, so it's a.
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: I am so lucky to still have them around.
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: I'm assuming that genetics are good for me going forward right, but it's tough when your parents get old.
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: They molded me into who I am.
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: They are two different personalities.
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: My dad was extremely extroverted, liked to control things and be in charge of everything.
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: My mom was much more introverted, very polite, very nice to everybody and just an overall great, great woman.
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: So love it.
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: Talk about the core values or lessons that were, as I say, those two words.
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: What were the top of mind?
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: Two or three things that were in your house that must have.
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: It was always respect.
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: I think the first thing that I get to is respect.
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: Again, I've only lived in a household where there's three people right, so I certainly got all the attention from my parents, but I didn't necessarily have to learn how to share dinner at a table right With two sisters and another brother or fight over food or fight to get a word in edgewise or whatever.
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: So there was always a lot of respect.
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: It was conversational.
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: We always talked talked about school, talked about life, talked about neighbors, talked about extended family, things like that.
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: My mom was at that time.
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: My mom was a stay-at-home mom.
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: Until she got.
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: She worked some part-time jobs at some jewelry stores and stuff, but I understood work ethic.
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: I understood where my dad came from, as the son of Irish immigrants that cleaned houses or worked in the rail yards in New York City, Somebody that went to college, didn't finish college, but got a job and worked his way to create a very successful career for himself.
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: My mom lived a sad childhood so she fought for everything she had.
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: She was on the streets at 12 years old, ended up living in a convent.
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: The nuns took her in.
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, so both my parents were fighters and, I think, instilled that into me.
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: I fight for everything I have.
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: I go back to my wife and my daughters and the people I work with here.
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: I fight for it all.
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: I want everybody to feel that level of success or feel like they matter.
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: I think that's how my childhood was with my family.
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: Where do you think that skill that you have came from?
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: I don't know if it is a skill, casey, I think the household and the way you grow up and the way you see your parents and the way they hold them, I think it's learned.
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: Maybe there's an innate piece of it that is within your genetic makeup.
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: But I think listen, family is very important, right?
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: I truly think that children become images or learn from their parents and maybe they learn certain things from their parents that they don't want to do.
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: I'm sure I did.
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: I'm obviously in sales.
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: I ask a lot of questions.
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: I reflect on situations.
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: God knows.
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: There's mistakes I've made in my life, in my career, in college, in high school, all the way back right.
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: It's just how you learn from them and how you use those experiences to shape who you are.
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: I ended up working for Thomasville Furniture.
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: That's how I moved from Arizona to Maryland.
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: They couldn't hire me out of college because Armstrong World Industries owned Thomasville and had an epitism clause.
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: I had to go prove myself with another furniture company.
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: But it wasn't always great times for my dad.
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: I saw a lot of it firsthand a lot of adversity.
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: It's how we deal with adversity.
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: I think that's what I learned my parents.
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: I'm going to forget the number, but I think it's 67 years that they've been married right now.
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: There was certainly diversity 89, 93 years old.
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: Good times, some tough times, but you stick with it.
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: I watched somebody talking the other day about the ring on their finger.
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: Maybe I should know this, but he talked about how the ring on the finger signifies the promise that you make.
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: It was the first time I feel like I've ever heard that said.
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: Everybody goes through a lot, right, but you fight through and you realize it's fair.
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: You look at the world today Sorry if I'm bouncing, no, it's all right.
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: You look at the world and you look at how much we see on the news or social media or Twitter slash X, how much is negative and how much we fight about when that work.
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: You look at recruiters or salespeople that you get hung up on the nose right, or you get hung up on the.
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: Nobody's returning my calls or I can't get anyone the news.
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: You're seeing all the negative stuff.
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: Peach him and Peach her, just everything we have going on.
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: Sorry, I went political there.
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: I do not want to do that at all.
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: It's sometimes hard to see all the good, right, and I think in my childhood everything that went on between my parents, I saw both good and bad.
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: It's hard to focus on the good right, even high school or college or friendships.
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: It's so hard to judge somebody.
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: It's easier to judge somebody on a mistake than to judge them for the good.
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: So I think maybe that goes back to your original question.
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: Why am I a little bit the way I am?
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: I think I've learned to look at the good more than look at the bad and understand that we're all going to face adversity and face bad times.
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: But there's a competitive streak in me that I don't really let it get me down anymore.
• 30:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's good.
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: So in Jamaica Queens, how diverse was that for you growing up?
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: Not Again.
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: I was gone from there by three, okay, but here, but I'm here.
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: Diverse.
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: I was still young, casey, but I used to go back because my grandparents lived there.
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: So I would go there and down the road there was a park and I'd be this little five, six, seven, eight-year-old, nine-year-old kid in the park with my basketball, just shooting with people of all different walks of life, and I never even thought anything about it.
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: I didn't, and that goes to my parents.
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: I went to a diverse high school.
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: I went to a diverse elementary school at the time, so I was always around a lot of people.
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: I think one of the reasons I'm on here is I told you a story of me going to the Nick Games and meeting my dad.
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: So from the standpoint of the world in the 70s and 80s, which a lot of people would go, man, those were bad times, right.
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: I mean, I was five, six years old and my mom would drive me in a metro park train station and I would hop on the train by myself in Raway, linden, elizabeth, newark, penn Station, where the stops, right.
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: I'd get off at Penn Station and I knew I'm not going to talk to people.
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: I was beeline up the stairs, 8th Avenue, 33rd Street, up the escalator, make a right.
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: Charlie O's at the garden and I'd walk in there and meet my dad.
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: So there was.
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: You know, for me growing up there was no fear of people, right, and you know back then, and maybe I talked about the trust thing, look at the trust my parents had in society right To put or to allow a five or six-year-old, seven-year-old to get off that train and go in, and nobody in their right mind would probably do it.
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: But yeah, protective services would have been at my parent's door.
• 33:18
  Speaker 4: Hi, I'm Leslie Vickery, the CEO and founder of ClearEdge, a company dedicated to transforming the business of talent.
• 33:25
  Speaker 4: Through our three lines of business ClearEdge, marketing, recruiting and rising that help organizations across the recruitment and HR tech sectors grow their brands and market share while building their teams with excellence and equity.
• 33:41
  Speaker 4: I believe we were one of Casey's very first clients.
• 33:44
  Speaker 4: He helped our sales and account teams really those people on the front lines of building and developing client relationships in so many ways.
• 33:52
  Speaker 4: Here are a few.
• 33:52
  Speaker 4: He helped us unlock the power of curiosity.
• 33:55
  Speaker 4: For me it was a game changer.
• 33:58
  Speaker 4: I was personally learning all about Ted-based that's, tell, explain, describe, questioning and that really resonated with me.
• 34:06
  Speaker 4: We also learned about unlocking the power of humility and unlocking the power of vulnerability.
• 34:12
  Speaker 4: Casey taught us to be a team player, to embrace change, to stay positive.
• 34:18
  Speaker 4: He is one of the most positive people I know.
• 34:20
  Speaker 4: He believes that optimism, resilience and a sense of humor can go a long way in helping people achieve their goals and overcome obstacles.
• 34:30
  Speaker 4: And I agree Casey's book when the Relationship, not the Deal it is a must read.
• 34:36
  Speaker 4: Listen.
• 34:36
  Speaker 4: Whether you're looking for coaching and training or a powerful speaker or keynote, casey is one of the people I recommend when talking to companies.
• 34:46
  Speaker 4: The end result for us at least is one of Casey's clients Our own clients would literally commend our approach over all other companies, from the way we were prepared in advance of a call to how we drove meetings, to how we follow up.
• 35:02
  Speaker 4: It sounds really basic, I know, but let me tell you it is a standout approach that led to stronger relationships.
• 35:10
  Speaker 4: I encourage you to learn more by going to kcjcoxcom.
• 35:13
  Speaker 4: You have nothing to lose by having a conversation and a lot to gain.
• 35:18
  Speaker 4: Now let's get back to Casey's podcast, the Quarterback Dadcast.
• 35:24
  Speaker 2: You think about how much has changed.
• 35:25
  Speaker 2: When you told me that story, I was like one.
• 35:27
  Speaker 2: What great independence you learned at a young age.
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 35:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: But I remember riding my bike.
• 35:36
  Speaker 2: My daughter and I went to a pizza last week or two weeks ago and I was like, oh, this is like the bike trail I used to go on without my helmet.
• 35:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I remember living on the edge, remember the ramps.
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: I'm sure you built ramps too, yeah.
• 35:49
  Speaker 2: Jumping.
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's crazy.
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: I lived on Jonathan Drive in Edison, new Jersey, and my house was kind of at the bottom of this big hill that went up.
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: I say big hill, right, but we used to get our bikes on the sidewalk and come ripping down that freaking hill and there was a ramp right in front of my mailbox and 10 feet away was a telephone pole.
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: When I think about it now, I'd be going.
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: Are you crazy?
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: No helmet, no such thing as a helmet.
• 36:20
  Speaker 2: No no.
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: Why would we do that yeah?
• 36:24
  Speaker 2: So, as you think about the independence your parents gave you, how did that?
• 36:28
  Speaker 2: How did that?
• 36:29
  Speaker 2: How did you, I guess, as a dad, or in your wife, Heather, how did you guys give your kids independence in a safe way to as best as you could in your time?
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know if I thought a lot about it.
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: I would definitely say that we were much more cautious with our daughters.
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: I think.
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: And I don't think I would have been any different with a son.
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: But the independence was, I think, earned through trust with them.
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: Now, both of them were involved in sports Ali at the beginning more than Jessica.
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: They both played softball, but Ali played softball and soccer became a very good soccer player.
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: Travel teams you know all that.
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: Every weekend, every night of the week, practice.
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: There was almost no time for Ali to get into a situation where there was trouble.
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: She was always on a soccer field or on a softball field and soccer ended up all year long.
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: But you know case, I think the trust led to the independence.
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: You know, until you're driving, your independence is somewhat limited as to where your parents are going to drive you right.
• 37:58
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: But once they started driving they gained that more independence and which made their need for more trust from Heather and I, and they rarely disappointed us, right?
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: You know there were times, no, that's too far away, but eventually it's all right.
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: Go right.
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: It's the helicopter parent thing.
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: We certainly weren't.
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: I don't believe the independence came with trust, but I don't know if we created that at all.
• 38:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you mentioned earlier about only child and you I think I heard you said you try to help people.
• 38:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, don't have, don't have only child.
• 38:48
  Speaker 2: How come?
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: No, it has to do with where I am now in my life.
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: So I have 89 and 93 year old parents.
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: In 2016, I moved them from Edison, new Jersey.
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: I called my dad and I went hey, you got to move, because if anything happens to either of you, there's nobody but me to help.
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: So I moved them down here in May of 2016.
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: My wife and I went on vacation in June, came home from the vacation and my father went hey, we got to go see a doctor because I was walking your dog and I couldn't walk up your street, so moved here in May, july 5th of 2016,.
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: He had triple bypass and a valve replacement, had three arteries 100% blocked.
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: So if they hadn't moved here, not so sure he would have been around, quite honestly, right, but the pandemic really changed the lives of my parents.
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: You know and I look at the elderly right now and how the pandemic affected them.
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: You know, my mom's been in and out of the hospital for various reasons and I learned that.
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: You know, for the elderly or anybody, if you're in a hospital and you lay in a hospital bed for a week or for a day, for every day you're in a hospital bed, it takes a week to recover.
• 40:27
  Speaker 1: Well, when you look at, the pandemic became a jail cell for my parents and you sat in a house.
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: You couldn't go to a restaurant, couldn't go anywhere, so they sat in their condo and unfortunately, they slowly got weaker.
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: But I've it's become.
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: It's become a full-time job.
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: It's very emotional and I would love to have a brother or sister around for help, yeah, so I mean, no, I'm not.
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: I'm not being critical of anybody that has an only child but, as I sit here today it's a real thing.
• 41:16
  Speaker 2: So let me give you some grace for yourself and how you're feeling.
• 41:19
  Speaker 2: I'm assuming and let me know if I'm wrong.
• 41:22
  Speaker 2: So I, when my dad was alive he passed away December 29, 2021, for a good 20 years he had health shenanigans in and out of assistive living facilities, in and out of psych wards.
• 41:34
  Speaker 2: You know amazing memories but really, really tough times and unfortunately, I fortunately or unfortunately me and my wife were really the only ones taking care of him.
• 41:44
  Speaker 2: My mom and dad got divorced.
• 41:46
  Speaker 2: You know, have a sibling that wasn't wasn't able to help.
• 41:51
  Speaker 2: I had a couple cousins at the end when they like when he was getting ready to pass away, help my uncle to help a little bit.
• 41:58
  Speaker 2: And at one point I mean this is like right, when my career was taken off a K-Force, I remember I was so stressed out I typed in Google caregiver burnout.
• 42:05
  Speaker 2: I typed that in and it came back and there was like 10 symptoms.
• 42:11
  Speaker 2: I had nine of them.
• 42:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean it was brutal and we had to like kind of like retrain the assisted living facility, like, hey, every time my dad skins his knee or bumps into somebody, don't call me, I can't.
• 42:27
  Speaker 2: It's like you know, if there's, if he goes to the hospital, then call me.
• 42:31
  Speaker 2: I'm trying to raise my kids.
• 42:34
  Speaker 2: I'm trying not to bankrupt myself with my dad's bad decisions.
• 42:36
  Speaker 2: So do brother.
• 42:40
  Speaker 1: It's real, yeah, and mine are still living there.
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: They're in an over 55 facility living what's not independent anymore, but with 24, seven caregivers there and yeah, it's, it's harder.
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: You know, and my maybe one of the my dad's my best friend, right?
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, like I, my dad's my best friend.
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: My dad's always been my hero and now, now it's tough.
• 43:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 43:14
  Speaker 2: Why is he a hero?
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: He, I think the support you know I mentioned.
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: We all make mistakes.
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: I made mistakes, I feel like, in my career.
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: Where I am right now is is kind of because of him.
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: I can remember here, casey, I went to college.
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: Maybe this is a symptom of an only child too.
• 43:41
  Speaker 1: No, no phones in the room.
• 43:44
  Speaker 1: There was a pay phone down the hall.
• 43:46
  Speaker 1: I called home every day, every day, and I still talk to them every day.
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: I don't think I've ever stopped, and a lot of that conversation is either about the giants or the Mets, or politics or business, or my life in business or whatever, and I've just learned.
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: I've learned a lot from them.
• 44:15
  Speaker 2: That's cool.
• 44:15
  Speaker 2: Does he know it?
• 44:16
  Speaker 2: I'm trying not to cry.
• 44:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's okay.
• 44:18
  Speaker 2: Well, if it makes you feel better, Keith, wait, man cried on the podcast.
• 44:21
  Speaker 2: Oh, did he?
• 44:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: What a good guy man he's such a good guy.
• 44:28
  Speaker 2: So he told I think any, and we we were recording.
• 44:30
  Speaker 2: He said you can edit that out.
• 44:30
  Speaker 2: I said no, I'm not.
• 44:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he's my hero.
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: I did.
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: I told him.
• 44:37
  Speaker 1: I told him a couple of weeks ago.
• 44:40
  Speaker 3: Awesome yeah.
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: Well, yeah, difficult conversation with between me, him and my mom, and he told me that July 5th, right before going into surgery, that, hey, if I don't come out, I've gotten everything I wanted out of life.
• 44:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: And you know I'm proud of you, yeah, so it's.
• 45:06
  Speaker 2: It's.
• 45:06
  Speaker 2: It's awesome, man.
• 45:06
  Speaker 2: I mean I did this podcast.
• 45:09
  Speaker 2: One of the biggest things was to inspire vulnerability out of dads and you know I've been emotional on some of these episodes before.
• 45:14
  Speaker 2: It's funny, like when my not funny when my dad, right before he passed away, he, he couldn't really listen, he didn't really know what phones were.
• 45:20
  Speaker 2: I mean kind of knew what a phone, but not like anything Right, anything to the level, and I'm not a super religious person but I'm very spiritual.
• 45:29
  Speaker 2: It's like I have a relationship with a God.
• 45:32
  Speaker 2: I think I believe in meeting.
• 45:34
  Speaker 2: I believe in he puts me in with the right people right time.
• 45:37
  Speaker 2: I think this is, you know, I am meant to, to meet.
• 45:39
  Speaker 2: I don't know why, but I look for meaning in life and relationships I have and I was trying to like teach my dad let me know dad that it's okay, like not only for selfishly, for our family.
• 45:51
  Speaker 2: It was like hard, really hard, and like and his quality of life sucked so bad at the end, but the last six weeks he was alive was awesome.
• 45:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he couldn't move, couldn't walk.
• 45:59
  Speaker 2: I mean he was depends.
• 46:01
  Speaker 2: I mean that part sucked.
• 46:03
  Speaker 2: But like he, he had these really weird memories of stuff and so we were like joke, and I'd have he didn't drink anymore.
• 46:10
  Speaker 2: But I'd find a picture of like a big ass beer.
• 46:13
  Speaker 2: I'm like, hey, dad, you want?
• 46:14
  Speaker 2: You want to come grab?
• 46:15
  Speaker 2: Can writer grab you a beer?
• 46:15
  Speaker 2: He's like, yeah, grab me a big one.
• 46:17
  Speaker 2: And we'd have a picture of the phone like this one's coming.
• 46:19
  Speaker 2: He's like, oh yeah, can you give me a burger too?
• 46:20
  Speaker 2: And so in his mind he had believed that this is coming.
• 46:24
  Speaker 2: Now the doctor said, whoever, whoever taught you to do that, awesome.
• 46:27
  Speaker 2: And so we met him where he was at right.
• 46:30
  Speaker 2: He's like experiences.
• 46:31
  Speaker 2: But you know, so much of that time was just in meeting him where he was enjoying it.
• 46:39
  Speaker 2: But I remember one day on the phone I said um got, I wrote on the like the note thing.
• 46:45
  Speaker 2: I said God's ready to meet you and I showed him and it was like it was so I was so scared to do it but I did it and he looked at me.
• 46:52
  Speaker 2: He kind of looked at me weird.
• 46:52
  Speaker 2: He's like I'm not quite ready.
• 46:55
  Speaker 2: And it was like it like frickin rock me, like I get goosebumps telling the story and there's times where, um, he thought I mean it was at the end he he saw his mom in the room.
• 47:08
  Speaker 2: He saw he'd be looking around.
• 47:10
  Speaker 2: He's like yeah, grandma, grandma was here earlier.
• 47:12
  Speaker 2: I was like what?
• 47:13
  Speaker 2: It was super surreal, but like, and then I was there for his last breath.
• 47:17
  Speaker 2: Um, my dad was a big Al Green guy.
• 47:20
  Speaker 2: I didn't know he had some soul in him.
• 47:23
  Speaker 2: I was like you don't think dad Pick it up, brother, but uh, you know, it's just like.
• 47:28
  Speaker 2: If I love how much you, I mean that's Kudos.
• 47:33
  Speaker 2: You, man, son of the year, you should get a coffee cup.
• 47:35
  Speaker 2: It says that the fact you talked to your parents still every day.
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 47:39
  Speaker 2: Amazing.
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 47:41
  Speaker 2: How close are your daughters to grandma and grandpa.
• 47:44
  Speaker 1: They were much closer before they got older and started going on in their lives.
• 47:50
  Speaker 1: But so here I mean every, every Thursday night until Ally moved.
• 47:55
  Speaker 1: Ally moved to Florida in, uh, August of 21.
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: She moved to Florida but prior to that, every Thursday night was pizza night at my parents.
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: So I would leave the office at five and drive there and my wife would drive from work and Ally would drive from work and Jess would drive from work.
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: So we were having pizza there every every Thursday night, not Jersey pizza, but, okay, pizza Love it, but yeah so.
• 48:29
  Speaker 1: So no, they're, they're close.
• 48:31
  Speaker 1: Uh, Jessica's still around Maryland, so Jessica still sees them weekly or bi-weekly.
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: Uh, Ally a little bit less.
• 48:39
  Speaker 1: The uh, the conversations on the phone are a little bit difficult right now, but from a heart and a love standpoint close.
• 48:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Uh, it's cool.
• 48:50
  Speaker 2: Uh, we've covered a lot from like, obviously, single child loving I mean raising older ones.
• 48:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, only child, whatever Method Freudian slip there.
• 49:04
  Speaker 2: Um, if you had to summarize, actually, before I ask you that, I want to ask about an area of your dad game that maybe wasn't always your best or maybe isn't the best what you want now.
• 49:15
  Speaker 1: I missed that.
• 49:15
  Speaker 1: Uh, it's, I missed that.
• 49:17
  Speaker 2: Yep, I said one of the one of the questions I like asking dads is like an area of your dad game where you you might not know you might it might not be where you want it, that might relate to other dads at home of like it may be a mistake we've made, but we, we've owned it.
• 49:29
  Speaker 2: We're working hard to become that ultimate, better leader of our home.
• 49:32
  Speaker 2: You know like I always like to lead my guests.
• 49:34
  Speaker 2: For me it's patience, it's having.
• 49:36
  Speaker 2: For me I have to really work hard on that.
• 49:38
  Speaker 2: I'm working hard on that.
• 49:41
  Speaker 1: I think sometimes the people you love I don't want to say you treat the worst, that's not the right.
• 49:46
  Speaker 1: I think you're harder, I think you expect more and I think if I had to go back to high school to when they were in high school or even middle school or educational and socially, I think I would have been more introspective to everything that was going on in their world, rather than maybe having tunnel vision to what I see right and not understanding what's the dynamic they're having educationally, what's the dynamic they're having with sports or what the dynamic they're having with any hobby and things like that.
• 50:29
  Speaker 1: I think I might have been a little bit immature in who I am as a parent and really trying to understand everything they're going through.
• 50:43
  Speaker 1: I think I'm better at it now if they talk to me about something with work or things like that, because I see everything every day here at work and I understand how to communicate with employees and communicate with the people I work with and try to lead them right, and I don't know if I led then or if I managed my kids.
• 51:16
  Speaker 2: Does that make sense?
• 51:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, have you ever told them that?
• 51:20
  Speaker 2: Just did I mean told, well, if they listen, hopefully they listen.
• 51:23
  Speaker 2: I know, yeah, oh, there.
• 51:26
  Speaker 1: And no, I don't think in so many words that I've said that to them, but I hope that they've seen that from me, but maybe I will tell them.
• 51:39
  Speaker 2: Great homework.
• 51:40
  Speaker 1: I actually said a lot to Ali at her wedding and stuff, so maybe Jess needs it.
• 51:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it's like.
• 51:48
  Speaker 3: Hi, I'm Marcie Stout.
• 51:50
  Speaker 3: I'm the CEO and co-founder of Revel Coach, a consulting and coaching company dedicated to cultivating leadership, building cohesive teams and fostering well-being in the workplace.
• 52:00
  Speaker 3: At Revel Coach, collaboration is one of our core principles, which is why I'm excited that KCJ Cox and I are partnering together to host a monthly mastermind called the Intentional Sales Leader Mastermind, where leaders can share ideas, exchange insights and gain valuable knowledge from industry experts.
• 52:19
  Speaker 3: It's our promise to you that joining our mastermind will provide practical insights on how to use curiosity and humility to build relationships while exceeding revenue expectations.
• 52:30
  Speaker 3: We'll also teach techniques so you can stay committed to priorities like family health and, quite frankly, things that bring daily joy.
• 52:38
  Speaker 3: You can learn more about me and my work at revelcoachcom, and if you want to work with us and other sales leaders who are committed to results, both personally and professionally, visit kcjcoxcom for more information on the intentional sales leader mastermind.
• 52:54
  Speaker 3: Now let's get back to the podcast.
• 52:57
  Speaker 2: I think that's what this is about is having these like it's hard, it is hard, it's super hard.
• 53:02
  Speaker 2: It's not about just the weather and sports and it's like having real conversations and, like I told their previous guest, john, this morning we were talking and I said you know, my son lives and dies by every single marriage game Like to the point almost unhealthy, and I love it.
• 53:21
  Speaker 2: But I'm also like dude.
• 53:22
  Speaker 2: I used to be that guy and it's not fun to be around and the negativity sometimes you freak out and I had to like get into him a little bit last time.
• 53:31
  Speaker 2: Like dude, we're going to the Mariner Dodger game Friday night.
• 53:34
  Speaker 2: I'm like I'm not going to take you, like I'm not.
• 53:36
  Speaker 2: You think I'm joking?
• 53:36
  Speaker 2: Like enough, with an eight-dening we're already lost.
• 53:39
  Speaker 2: Screw him, you know I'm like dude, I'm teaching.
• 53:44
  Speaker 1: I mean I gave up on the NBA in the 90s the Michael Jordan years against the Knicks with Patrick Ewing and John Starks and I gave up on the NBA because you're going to laugh at me this will be a whole nother podcast.
• 54:00
  Speaker 1: I think the officiating in the NBA is the worst of any sport.
• 54:07
  Speaker 1: I think that the officials can sway a game either way, to the point where I'm like it's not even worth watching the NBA till the fourth quarter because I would watch teams go up 20 and suddenly the fouls would change.
• 54:23
  Speaker 1: But I can remember in an apartment with Heather where she was like you with your son, she like I can't be around you when you watch sports because I'd be punching the cocktail table or whatever.
• 54:39
  Speaker 2: But yeah, but I have grace for him and I actually told him this morning.
• 54:44
  Speaker 2: I saw him this morning.
• 54:45
  Speaker 2: I'm like, hey, if it makes you feel better.
• 54:47
  Speaker 2: I was really frustrated last night too.
• 54:49
  Speaker 2: I just didn't freak out like you did, and the reason why I don't freak out like you did because I used to be you and I'm hoping that you learn from my maturity now.
• 54:56
  Speaker 2: It's not worth it, because the Mariners don't give two shits about us.
• 54:59
  Speaker 1: They don't.
• 55:00
  Speaker 1: So here I try to live by Casey, another sales training I was taught by it wasn't their company, but it was a consultant that used to teach it and in 1999, early 2000, he said don't get emotionally involved in things you can't control.
• 55:21
  Speaker 1: Don't get emotionally involved in things.
• 55:24
  Speaker 1: And it was all about sales and the sell.
• 55:27
  Speaker 1: And I took it home and it changed me with like, if the Giants Offensive Line can't block, what am I going to do?
• 55:37
  Speaker 1: Right, I just sell it like this and hold my head but yeah, so I've lived by that, and pretty much anybody that's ever worked for me I've said that too, I live by that.
• 55:51
  Speaker 2: Smart.
• 55:52
  Speaker 1: I'm not perfect.
• 55:54
  Speaker 2: Right, but I live by that.
• 55:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's good.
• 55:57
  Speaker 2: Well, it's good to kind of recheck yourself.
• 55:58
  Speaker 2: We know you're not your best, but you can.
• 56:02
  Speaker 2: Like one of my mentors I've said this before I'm John Kaplan.
• 56:05
  Speaker 2: I love this quote.
• 56:05
  Speaker 2: He says it's okay not to know every answer.
• 56:07
  Speaker 2: It's just not okay not to do anything about it, right?
• 56:11
  Speaker 2: So sometimes we have to say I know, I want to, my goal is to act this way or do these things, but we're flawed humans, we're not going to be perfect.
• 56:18
  Speaker 2: But let's fix it though.
• 56:19
  Speaker 2: Let's own our shit, be honest with ourselves, get back on track and tomorrow's a new day.
• 56:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, if you were to summarize kind of what we've talked about today, which is a lot, a lot of good stuff, the dads can take maybe a couple of nuggets of wisdom from here and from what we've talked about that they can apply to their own lives and help them become a better leader of their home.
• 56:42
  Speaker 2: Tell me two or three things that come to mind.
• 56:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think your last question on what maybe I could have done better, I think it's listen to your kids.
• 56:53
  Speaker 1: Listen to your kids, be patient with your kids and make sure that they have the confidence to be honest with you and feel like they can come to you with anything, whether it's good or bad.
• 57:12
  Speaker 1: That's not easy for a kid growing up.
• 57:17
  Speaker 1: If they learn you're going to yell at them, they're not coming to you.
• 57:26
  Speaker 1: Love your wife, communicate right, talk to each other, make sure you're on the same page, even when you're not and you won't be.
• 57:37
  Speaker 1: But yeah, love them, because it flies pretty soon they're 27 and 29 and one lives in Florida and they're having a grandchild and you're not going to be there every day right, I'm not ready for that.
• 57:53
  Speaker 1: It flies.
• 57:54
  Speaker 1: It's amazing to look at where they are.
• 57:57
  Speaker 1: So listen to them, be patient with them, love them.
• 58:03
  Speaker 2: That's gold.
• 58:04
  Speaker 2: I wrote that as the gold of the wisdom.
• 58:07
  Speaker 2: You dropped a lot of gold, but, like confident, to be honest with you, what a goal as a parent.
• 58:13
  Speaker 2: If you're getting to your kids to come and they can say anything without judgment, man, you're winning.
• 58:20
  Speaker 2: That is winning in life.
• 58:23
  Speaker 2: That is winning, yup Okay.
• 58:27
  Speaker 2: So if people are listening and they're like who the hell is Alta, who the hell systems one and we want to make sure they know they're excited to learn more about you guys, they want to connect with you on LinkedIn Now that they've heard about what a fantastic, humble and vulnerable leader you are, tell me how we can make sure they learn more about John Hayes and Alta and systems one.
• 58:45
  Speaker 1: Hey, you can call me.
• 58:46
  Speaker 1: If you want reach out on LinkedIn, email me, it's all out there.
• 58:50
  Speaker 1: I'm accessible.
• 58:52
  Speaker 1: So I'm in the trenches every day.
• 58:55
  Speaker 1: Alta's IT staffing nationwide located in Rockville, maryland, system one's headquartered in Pittsburgh, global Professional Services Company.
• 59:06
  Speaker 1: Call me, I'm here.
• 59:09
  Speaker 2: All right, we will make sure that's linked in the show notes.
• 59:12
  Speaker 2: We'll make sure people know how to get a hold of you.
• 59:13
  Speaker 2: It's now time to go in what I call the lightning round, where I go random on you and I ask you just completely questions I've not thought of.
• 59:21
  Speaker 2: My goal is to answer.
• 59:23
  Speaker 2: You might know what's coming, but you have to answer as quickly as you can.
• 59:26
  Speaker 2: My job is to get a giggle out of you.
• 59:28
  Speaker 1: All right, I hope it's all choice.
• 59:31
  Speaker 2: Are you ready?
• 59:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, true or false?
• 59:35
  Speaker 2: Actually, true or actually no?
• 59:38
  Speaker 2: First question Phil Mokonke versus Saquon Barkley.
• 59:42
  Speaker 2: Who's winning in a race?
• 59:43
  Speaker 2: Saquon?
• 59:44
  Speaker 2: Okay, I giggle all that one, saquon.
• 59:48
  Speaker 2: Who are you taking in your fantasy draft, darren Waller or Mark Bavaro?
• 59:55
  Speaker 1: Waller.
• 59:55
  Speaker 1: Wow, you know Bavaro Danseem over the middle 18 yards.
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 1: He's not a yak guy.
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 1: The yard after catch, Waller can beat you and go 90.
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 2: He's in my fantasy league and I kept him, but I need.
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 2: I can't have this 40-0 shenanigans anymore.
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's tough, that's going to be tough.
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 2: If I was to come to your house for dinner tonight, what would we have?
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 1: Shrimp scampi.
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 2: Okay, very, very mature.
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 2: Look at you, food channel I like to cook, I like to cook, so do I.
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 1: It could be pizza too.
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 1: You know, I made.
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 1: I made sausage, peppers and onions this week and I like to cook and I said to my daughter, jessica, and my wife and Heather I went.
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 1: You know, peppers and onions might be the best thing I cook, like I love it.
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 2: What do you use?
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 1: You get the sausage or anything Do you have like a black stone.
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 2: You got to do it Now.
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 1: I do it in the pot.
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 1: I slice the onions and the peppers and cook the salt par, cook the sausage, take it out, deglaze the pan.
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 1: I actually for peppers and onions I use white wine to deglaze the pan.
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 1: Throw some butter in, throw some tomato paste in, red pepper flakes, italian seasoning onions, the peppers, cook it up, olive oil, butter.
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 1: Just keep stirring.
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 2: Wow, True or false?
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 2: You once beat Bobby Flay on a food channel at Game Show.
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 1: False, but I have met Bobby Flay.
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 2: No way and I got and I got.
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I went to his.
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 1: You want to tell you.
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 1: Good, do you have time for a story?
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 2: Let's do it.
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 1: Power social media.
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 1: Bobby Flay had a restaurant that's now closed in New York City and I'm going to forget the name of the restaurant.
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 1: But anyway, my wife and I 20th wedding anniversary.
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 1: I tried to get a reservation we used to go to.
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 1: We used to go to the city every December the weekend around December 5th, go to dinner, spend the night, see the tree, all that stuff, and I wanted to go to this restaurant and I I couldn't get a reservation, so I went to Twitter and I tweeted Bobby Flay and I tweeted the restaurant and the day before I got a, I got.
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 1: I was sitting at my desk in Baltimore and I got a call and I didn't answer it because I thought it was spam.
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 1: Listen to the voicemail and it was his manager.
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 1: Bobby got your tweet.
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 1: If you can still make it, we have a table for you tomorrow night at seven o'clock.
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 1: I went, I'm there went there, walked in, he bought Heather and I a drink at the bar.
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 1: I got a picture and a sign menu, came to the table and talked to Heather and I Wow, Just a phenomenal night.
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 1: But that was the power of Twitter back then.
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 1: I also.
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 1: I also tried that to get Springsteen tickets and that didn't work.
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm a big Bobby Flay fan.
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 1: I listened to a podcast this morning of his.
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 2: If there was to be a book written about your life, tell me the title.
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 1: Baseball a love story.
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 2: Okay, now this book is crushing it everywhere.
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 2: Everyone's reading it, everyone's talking about it and the Hollywood's like shit.
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 2: We got to make a movie out of it.
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 2: You're the casting director.
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 2: I need to know who's going to star you in this critically acclaimed hit.
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 1: Who's going to star as me?
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 1: See, that's hard, because you got to have me find somebody younger than me, like I would say Kevin Costner, but you can't.
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 2: That's how you're going to go to.
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, Costner.
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 2: You guys filled a dreams.
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 1: It's like I was trying to think who's going to play me as a kid that I don't know?
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, If you were to go on vacation right now.
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 2: Where are you and Heather going?
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 2: Australia In the shrimp on the body.
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, I've never been.
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 1: It would have been easy to say Italy and or Greece.
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 1: My daughter, jessica, was just in Greece for 10 days and just came back and I'd love to go there.
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 1: I've been to Italy, I've never been to Australia.
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 1: I'd like, I'd like to go.
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 2: That's on my list too, okay.
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 2: Last question If there was two words to describe Heather, tell me what they'd be.
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 1: Caring.
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 2: Beautiful Boom Lightning rounds over.
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 2: We actually did the extended lightning round story time because Bobby Flay had to get the shout out.
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 2: We'll make sure we're going to tag Bobby Flay in this episode too, maybe he'll listen, maybe he'll listen to it.
• 1:04:38
  Speaker 2: And if you live in a restaurant and if you listen, if you were in a city where there's a Bobby Flay restaurant, go fricking, go it.
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 2: Go there tonight and tell them.
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 2: You heard about him from the quarterback, dad Gus, from John Hayes and Casey Jacobs.
• 1:04:51
  Speaker 2: There you go.
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 2: Thanks to catch.
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 2: I mean to Latitude Sitka.
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 2: Appreciate you.
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 2: Assalma team.
• 1:04:58
  Speaker 2: Anthony, thanks for doing everything you guys are doing up there.
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 2: The island was fantastic.
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 2: We visited in June.
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 2: I hope that everybody has a chance to go visit Latitude Sitkacom, latitude 57.
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 2: And if you've ever had a thought to go to Alaska, please give these guys a shot.
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 2: It was one of the coolest experiences I've ever done.
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 2: I'm not like a diehard fisherman, but they make it so easy and they felt safe.
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 2: I actually went to hot spring.
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 2: I went jet skiing in freezing water.
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 2: I even did a cold plunge with my good friend from TaylorMade, jared Hoffman.
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 2: But without further ado, man, I want to say thanks again, john, I learned a ton about you.
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 2: I appreciate the vulnerability, the honesty and just the great advice and guidance you gave to us, and I'm grateful to Keith Whiteman that our paths have crossed.
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 2: Appreciate you, brother.
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 1: You are very welcome.
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 1: My pleasure and anytime.