Latest / Fostering Faith / Confidence vs. Comparison: Finding Your Worth in Christ
Transcript
- 0:00Welcome back to Fostering Faith. My name is Tracie
- 0:01and I'll be your host today. And we are so excited
- 0:04that you came in for episode three of March.
- 0:07And we hope that the weather is beautiful where
- 0:10you're at and spring is coming and potentially
- 0:14you may have snow and you may have 80 degree
- 0:15weather and I am maybe. Looking forward to vacation
- 0:21come August and so it can be nice and warm where
- 0:24we're at As I look at snow as I record this and
- 0:27so in that same season if you are new to fostering
- 0:30faith We welcome you and we are here fostering
- 0:32our faith together in community if you were a
- 0:34return listener Thank you so much for tuning
- 0:36in and this message that we've done a similar
- 0:39episode before about comparison And so we are
- 0:42going to dive into confidence versus comparison.
- 0:45And so confidence and comparison are two forces
- 0:48that battle in every heart of every believer.
- 0:51One lifts you and the other one drains you. One
- 0:54calls you forward and the other one pulls you
- 0:56back. One aligns you with heaven and the other
- 0:59entangles you to earthly thinking. One empowers
- 1:04you and the other suffocates you. And the truth
- 1:07is, you cannot walk confidently in God who says
- 1:10you are while you're constantly comparing yourselves
- 1:13to who everyone else is. Comparison is one of
- 1:16the fastest ways that enemy steals identity,
- 1:19not through obvious spiritual attack, but through
- 1:21subtle emotional erosion. He whispers, look at
- 1:25her. Look at them. Look at what they're doing.
- 1:29Look how far ahead they are. You should be more
- 1:31like that. You should be further by now. You
- 1:35should look like that. You should parent like
- 1:38that. You should speak like that. You should
- 1:41be where she is. And little by little, those
- 1:45whispers dig deeper than we realize. Comparison
- 1:49doesn't come to you with a sword. Comparison
- 1:52comes with a measuring stick. And you know what's
- 1:56crazy? The measuring stick is invisible, but
- 1:59it controls so many of us and so many people.
- 2:03Comparison? has become normal, almost expected
- 2:06in our culture, especially around social media,
- 2:09where everyone cultivates their highlight reel,
- 2:11their filters, filters their face, brightens
- 2:14their living room, polishes their captions and
- 2:17presents a version of themselves that isn't the
- 2:20full picture. And then we compare our lives to
- 2:23their curated make -believe life. And we wonder
- 2:28why we feel behind. Comparison is a spiritual
- 2:32manipulation. It is identity distorted. It's
- 2:36emotional sabotage It is a thief and Jesus said
- 2:40that he is a thief that comes to kill still and
- 2:44destroy Comparison will steal your joy comparison
- 2:50will kill your confidence comparison will destroy
- 2:53your identity and That thief that's why it's
- 2:56just so important to know what Jesus said Jesus
- 2:58said the thief will come to kill still and destroy
- 3:03But confidence is godly confidence that comes
- 3:07from knowing who you are and who God is and why
- 3:11he put you here and what he's doing on the inside
- 3:14of you. Confidence is not arrogant. Confidence
- 3:17is not pride. Confidence is not self elevation.
- 3:21Confidence is not look at me. Confidence is simple
- 3:25alignment with heaven. Confidence says this is
- 3:29who God made me. This is what God put in me.
- 3:33This is what God called me to do. This is where
- 3:37God placed me. This is how God wired me. And
- 3:40I'm gonna walk through that. Fully. Boldly. Unapologetically.
- 3:46Because He didn't make a mistake. Confidence
- 3:49is not that you think that you're better than
- 3:51anyone else. Confidence is knowing you're not
- 3:55meant to be anyone else. Let me say that again.
- 4:00Confidence is knowing you're not meant to be
- 4:04anyone else The root of comparison that usually
- 4:09hides deeper than identity issue and so Comparison
- 4:14usually hides a deeper identity issue insecurity
- 4:18They fear of inadequacy perfectionism Rejection
- 4:25wounds not feeling enough shame jealousy Lack
- 4:30of clarity and calling old labels that are still
- 4:32attached lack of spiritual focus believe that
- 4:35God blesses others more pressure to perform and
- 4:39Misunderstanding of God's timing because we know
- 4:42that he's never been late and he's never been
- 4:43wrong And then that we usually get it wrong and
- 4:46we try to run ahead of him And maybe that's a
- 4:49personal story, but not yours, but mine emotional
- 4:51exhaustion waiting for approval But here's the
- 4:55truth comparison is always rooted in forgiveness
- 4:58Forgive for forgetfulness is of who God says
- 5:03you are Forgetfulness of your worth forget forgetfulness
- 5:08of your uniqueness and forgetfulness of your
- 5:11purpose Because whenever you forget who you are
- 5:15You will start watching who everyone else is
- 5:18And that's why March is so important. We are
- 5:21rebuilding the foundations of identity so deeply,
- 5:24so biblically, so aligned with God's Word that
- 5:27comparison can no longer survive in your heart.
- 5:31In biblical proof, God does not duplicate. One
- 5:35thing that God has never done is to make the
- 5:37same person twice. And we look through scripture.
- 5:41David is nothing like Moses. Esther is nothing
- 5:44like Ruth. Paul is nothing like John. Peter is
- 5:48nothing like Daniel. Deborah was nothing like
- 5:51Mary Joseph is nothing like Job Elijah is nothing
- 5:55like Nehemiah and Lydia is nothing like Naomi
- 5:59None of them compare Because none of them were
- 6:03created to live each other's story God writes
- 6:07unique assignments. God gives unique personalities.
- 6:10God places you in specific families locations
- 6:14situations talents strengths and season for divine
- 6:18purpose. Comparison insults creativity. Comparison
- 6:23tells God, your design wasn't good enough. I'd
- 6:27rather have hers. And Gia could just probably
- 6:30just puke as many times as she, I don't like
- 6:33this about me. I don't like that about me. I
- 6:34said, okay, then fine. Stop where you're at.
- 6:37And then I want you to look up and I want you
- 6:40to tell God that he made a mistake. Go ahead.
- 6:42Tell him that you are the first person that he
- 6:45ever created wrong. No, I can't do that. Then
- 6:48you know, it ain't true what you feel is a flaw
- 6:50that he made that way And so whenever whatever
- 6:53you are bashing about yourself or whatever you
- 6:56don't like about yourself You need to call it
- 6:57out to God Let him know that he made his first
- 7:00mistake with you That he needs to rewrite the
- 7:03history rewrite scripture that he has never been
- 7:05wrong and he's never been late But you can't
- 7:09because he created you perfectly he created you
- 7:13in his image And confidence says, thank you God
- 7:18for who you made me. Thank you for what you put
- 7:23in me. Thank you for where you're taking me.
- 7:27I don't need to fight for someone else's lane
- 7:29because you handcrafted mine. And the danger
- 7:33with comparison and how it spreads. Comparison
- 7:37spreads like wild olive. Comparison spreads like
- 7:44spiritual poison. It distorts your perspective.
- 7:47You see yourself incorrectly and others incorrectly.
- 7:52It strings your obedience. You feel unqualified
- 7:55before you even begin. It steals your gratitude.
- 8:00You overlook what God is doing. Your life and
- 8:04this morning I was actually in the Psalms and
- 8:07it was in Psalms 78 and so if you make time to
- 8:11go read song 78 and it's just about God's guidance
- 8:14for his people in spite of their unfaithfulness
- 8:17and it was just like Never let us overlook what
- 8:21God has done in our life and don't let us ever
- 8:24forget what he's done It fuels insecurity you
- 8:29question everything even what God has already
- 8:32affirmed. It causes resentment. You feel frustrated
- 8:37at the blessing others have. It breeds discontentment.
- 8:42Nothing feels like it's enough. It blocks calling.
- 8:46You can't walk forward if you're staring sideways.
- 8:50You can, but you're gonna fall. And listen, comparison
- 8:54is not natural. It's destructive. You cannot
- 8:57run your race with your eyes on someone else's
- 8:59lane. And we've done a podcast on that before.
- 9:02You're in the gym, you're looking at people running
- 9:04on the treadmill, and you're running at a six,
- 9:07they're running at a 6 .3, you go up to 6 .3,
- 9:09they go up to 6 .7. And before you know it, you're
- 9:12gonna trip, you're gonna fall. So don't do it.
- 9:15And so Hebrews 12 .1 says, let us run with endurance
- 9:18the race set before us. Your race, not hers,
- 9:23not his, not theirs, but yours. God didn't create
- 9:27a generic calling. He created a specific one
- 9:30for you. And confidence is rooted in God, not
- 9:35you. Confidence is not based on how awesome you
- 9:38are. Confidence is based on how awesome God is.
- 9:42And Godly confidence says, I can do this because
- 9:45God put it in me. I can walk this path because
- 9:48God designed it for me. I can speak boldly because
- 9:51God gave me my voice. I can lead because God
- 9:54called me to lead. I don't have to be her. He
- 9:59called me to be me. I don't have to compete because
- 10:02I'm already chosen. And I don't have to compare.
- 10:06God doesn't bless copies. And confidence is not
- 10:10about personality. It's about revelation. And
- 10:13once you realize who you are, confidence flows.
- 10:19And confidence says, I'm not better than anyone
- 10:21else, but I'm not less than anyone else either.
- 10:25I'm exactly who God made me. And so think of
- 10:30this. Imagine a massive field of flowers. And
- 10:34so think about over in Holland like a field full
- 10:37of tulips or a sunflower or a sunflower field
- 10:40or just a huge massive amount of flowers. Some
- 10:44are tall. Some are short. Some are pink. Some
- 10:48are white. Some bloom early and some bloom late.
- 10:53Some grow fast. Some grow slow and some need
- 10:57sun and some need shade Sun some thrive in rain
- 11:03and some thrive in dry soil But none of them
- 11:07look sideways None of them compete None of them
- 11:11compare and none of them wish they were another
- 11:14flower They simply grow in the spot that God
- 11:17planted them and they grow in their fullest potential
- 11:21not by comparison but by design. And if God wanted
- 11:26you to bloom like someone else, He would have
- 11:28planted you in their soil, their story, their
- 11:31wiring, their purpose, their personality. But
- 11:34guess what? He didn't. Why? Because your bloom
- 11:38is needed. Your flower is needed. Your design
- 11:43was intentional and your life is purposeful.
- 11:47Confidence comes from understanding. My story
- 11:51is different because my calling And the enemy
- 11:56uses comparison to paralyze you. The enemy loves
- 11:59comparison because it paralyzes you in three
- 12:02ways. One, inaction. You won't start what God
- 12:08told you to do. He loves it. He makes you stuck.
- 12:12Two, exhaustion. You work tirelessly trying to
- 12:18measure up. Three, distraction. You lose focus
- 12:24on your assignment. Comparison is one of the
- 12:28devil's easiest tools. He doesn't need to attack
- 12:31your calling if he can distract you with comparison.
- 12:36And when you know who you are, confidence grows
- 12:38automatically. Think of it like this. A lion
- 12:41doesn't try to be brave. It just is. A fish doesn't
- 12:46try to swim. It just does. A bird... doesn't
- 12:51try to fly, it was made for. Confidence flows
- 12:58when you stop trying to imitate someone else
- 13:02and start walking in what you are made for. And
- 13:06so identity produces confidence. Comparison produces
- 13:09insecurity. Confidence focuses on you. Comparison
- 13:14shatters you. Confidence empowers your voice.
- 13:18Comparison silences your voice. and confidence
- 13:21honors God's work in you, and comparison dishonors
- 13:24God's design. In the Peter moment, comparison
- 13:28distracts your calling. In John 21, Peter asked
- 13:32Jesus, what about him? referring to John. And
- 13:35Jesus replies, what is it that to you? You follow
- 13:40me. Translation. Stop watching someone else's
- 13:43calling. Obey in your own lane. If Peter kept
- 13:47looking at John, he never would have become Peter.
- 13:53Confidence calls you forward. Comparison calls
- 13:56you sideways. And so your reflection question
- 13:59in your workbook, where do I struggle most with
- 14:02comparison? Write it down. Looks, personality,
- 14:06calling, motherhood, friendships, ministry, gifts,
- 14:11timelines, progress, success, influence, story.
- 14:16Sit with it. Sit with it in the Holy Spirit.
- 14:20And he will show you the roots. He will show
- 14:25you. And I learned that in my first semester.
- 14:27And so we had to sit with Acts 1 -3 for three
- 14:31weeks. And you only got scripture and you only
- 14:33got the Holy Spirit. Those were the only two
- 14:35things that you had. And so just sitting with
- 14:37him and letting that Holy Spirit just work on
- 14:41your heart. It is about a transformation and
- 14:44just letting him just move you and shape you.
- 14:47And it's just wonderful. And so your action step
- 14:50this week. So write down three top areas of comparison
- 14:53that you struggle with and Beside each one write
- 14:57the true statement and for example comparison.
- 15:00She's further along than me The truth is God
- 15:03determines my pace and his timing is perfect
- 15:07comparison He has more influence truth God opens
- 15:13doors. No man can shut comparison I wish I looked
- 15:18like her Truth. I am fearfully and wonderfully
- 15:22made. This is spiritual warfare on paper with
- 15:28truth. You have receipts. You have what God has
- 15:31said. And so we hope that this message encouraged
- 15:35you, if it did. If you know anybody in a comparison
- 15:38trap, if it's your friend, if it's you, if it's
- 15:41someone in your small group, send it to them.
- 15:43Share it. Write a comment. Help our podcast grow.
- 15:46Print these workbooks out. Take them to a small
- 15:48group. We hope that this message inspired you,
- 15:51encouraged you to look at Jesus and look what
- 15:54he has made you for. And so we would love to
- 15:57pray for you this week, Lord. Thank you that
- 15:59you're breaking the spirit of comparison off
- 16:01in us. Thank you that you're healing every insecurity
- 16:04that fuels us. Thank you that you fill us with
- 16:06God confidence. Thank you that you teach us to
- 16:09walk boldly into what you've made us to be. Thank
- 16:11you that our eyes are in our lane and that it's
- 16:14on our calling and on our purpose in our identity.
- 16:17Thank you for all that you do. In Jesus name
- 16:19I pray. Amen. We hope this message encouraged
- 16:22you and that we are moving on to our fourth week.
- 16:25We hope to see you guys back next week. Love
- 16:27you. Bye.