Latest / Beyond Limits With Olivia Marie / Soul Aligned Friendships, Sisterhood Wounding (TOUGH STUFF), & How Its Blocking You

Transcript

Soul Aligned Friendships, Sisterhood Wounding (TOUGH STUFF), & How Its Blocking You · Beyond Limits With Olivia Marie

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Alrighty, welcome back to another episode of the podcast.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: Today we are diving in to aligned friendships, how to call in aligned soul friends, sisterhood wounding, lessons I've learned.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Honestly, the tough stuff, because I I really believe one of my life lessons is to in this like plan it on this world in this life is to learn how to deal with shitty friends and like specifically girls.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like I have had my share of bullying.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna get into that in the episode.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and also like how how it's blocking you.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, oh, I need to add that into the title.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: How it's block.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: All right, guys, let's go ahead and dive in.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: Hello and welcome to the Live Well podcast.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Liv, a naturopathic doctor, 7D energy healer, and a coach reader.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: I help women heal on a physical and emotional level so that they can feel delicious and magnetic.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: After all, isn't that the whole point?
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: Look, you've done the basic fitch wellness stuff, but you're still bloated, tired, and in pain.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: And that's where I come in.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: In these episodes, we will have an honest conversation without all the fluffy bullshit.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna walk away with insight, tools, and tips to finally kill your body, mind, and soul.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: If you are looking to live well, you are in the right place.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: For ways to work with me, visit keepupwithlive.com and follow me on Instagram at keep up with live for more.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: And with that, let's get into the show.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: Alright, so we're gonna dive into kind of like what sisterhood wounding is, and then so you can identify it, how it's blocking you, lessons I've learned, and then how to call in better friends.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: So, sisterhood wounding is not your fault.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: Sisterhood wounding, I think, is just so prevalent.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: I was actually, I know, talking to you guys about this on my recent live that I made into a podcast episode, which I believe is the podcast episode before this.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um, all but like coming into your feminine is where I talked briefly about it, but sisterhood wounding is that behind the back BS.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: It is that aggression that's like in mean girls, right?
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: It's a smart way of being aggressive that isn't like physically violent, right?
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: It's this facade that, like, oh, I didn't do anything.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: Almost like behind the scenes backstabbing, bullying that's like silent game or leaving people out.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's that kind of act versus like when you see men or like guys, like they don't they just get violent, they like hit each other, like they're very outward, right?
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: Versus sisterhood wounding is very like behind the scenes, covert, almost silent.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's body language, leaving people out, ignoring like that kind of thing, right?
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: And unfortunately, it is quite common.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: And what makes it even worse is that our biology is connection.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: Like as females, our core thing is love and connection.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: It's not for males, like it is for females.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: So when we have a threat to that, it's very damaging.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: So when it is threatening that, you know, we have friends who are not treating us right, who are doing all these things, it challenges our core biology of what we need.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: And then we put up with things that we shouldn't be putting up with, right?
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's like mean girls, where in I think it was who was it?
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: I forget her name.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: It's not Regina George, the other one, where she was like, it's better to be in the plastics hating life than outside, which is false.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: We'll get into that later.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: But this is what makes it such a strong weapon, and that's why it becomes such a problem is because females are built for community.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: No community is danger to our nervous system.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: Then we get a lack of self-worth, not to mention we can get like physical symptoms like bloating and all, you know, all the other stuff you guys hear me talk about, right?
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: So excluding negative body language being um not included, which is kind of like excluding, um, and then kind of like the silent bullying, cyber bullying, ignoring, and all that.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: Now, how sisterhood wounding stops your growth.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: If you are putting up with sisterhood wounding, you have a low self-worth that we need to heal.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: It means you don't want to be seen, right?
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: Because you're putting up with friends who are not of your highest good, and then you are dimming your light because you just want to fit in, you just want love and acceptance, you just want a group of friends who are going to quote unquote love you and support you, even if it's fake.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: Because, like I said, it's better to be in the plastics, like you know, loving life than be outside.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: And so where that stops you from growing is that if you are operating at the frequency of this is the type of friends that I put up with, then you're not gonna be able to bring more into your life, and not just in friends, but in every area of your life, romantically, um, career, money, whatever it is, because you're still admitting that frequency.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: You're emitting the frequency of low value shit, so you're attracting more low value shit in every area of your life.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: Now, like you are not alone.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, just know this.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I have I have struggled with this.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: I've had to do this so many times, I can't even tell you.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: I think I've had to do it, I think, seven times in the last year.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's been a lot.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: And it's because you're so afraid of not fitting in.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: And I know, especially for me, it was like I I didn't have like I struggled so long to have friends.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: And so uh for too long, I took whatever I could get and I would people please and overextend and try to like I, you know, do everything I could to hold people who didn't treat me right, who didn't put in the same effort, who didn't support me, who weren't happy for my success.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, they say that they support you, but then when it comes down to it, like there's a comparisonitis, there's like bullying, there's like it's either me or you, and we're not building women up.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like so many women are not building up other women and they think their abundance comes from them.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't know, like a friend meets a great guy and you think that takes away your chance of having a good guy, or they're successful in their business and that comes from you and you can't be happy for them, right?
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: There's more than enough like abundance in the world, and so you need to be surrounding yourself with people who also have that same idea.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you're aligning yourself with friends who are negative Nancy's who don't support you, A, it's gonna be really heavy for you to carry their load, but B, you also, like as I say, you're like the five people you surround yourself with.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: Do you want to be surrounding yourself with people who are not integrity and are low vibe?
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: No, you don't.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: And so what you need to really understand is that this is like I see this so often with people who need to stand up for their worth, who need to attract and better friends, but it all starts with you declaring your boundaries.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I know this is hard.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: Believe me, I do.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: But when people say like, and this is where you take radical responsibility, and this is where I had to take radical responsibility, because I was like, why the hell am I still having like shitty friends?
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: And why like I can even think back to like grade, not grade seven, when I was like seven years old behind the school, like crying.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: It's because I decided I would all like I would accept whatever came along.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I wanted to just be part of the group, part of a thing so badly, right?
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: So always admitting that you have to set the boundary of no, this is the only kind of behavior I accept, and that's it.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: Full stop.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: End of story.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: I just wanted to hop on and let you guys know that goddess activation is officially open.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: I know a lot of you have been waiting, and the time is now here.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: Look, you deserve to feel delicious in the skin you are in and to love not only the life that you are living, but yourself, so that you become a natural magnet to everything you desire and live more in alignment.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: We are gonna be doing all the emotional releasing, and plus you get the tools, techniques, and reprogramming to live life with so much pleasure that your heart radiates.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: And you'll be able to connect with other goddesses who are igniting their self-love in a high vibe community.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: So if you engage in negative self-talk, people pleasing, don't set boundaries or hate your body, this is your side.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: So I've been there and it sucks.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: But what you have to understand is that when you love yourself on a truly deep bubble, everything in your life improves.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: Your relationships, your friendships, your magnetism, your happiness, even how much money you make.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: Everything in life is a direct reflection of how you feel about yourself and what you believe you are worthy and deserving of.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: So let's start living a life where you feel magnetic and delicious in your body.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: It's four weeks to awaken your inner goddess and ignite your self-love.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: So get in.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: We are healing and falling in love with life.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: Check out the link in the description and DM me any questions.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: See you guys inside.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: And this question was asked on a live.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: She was like, you know, I put in so much effort and they put they don't put any back, it's so hard.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, stop putting in effort.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: Done.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: Boundary.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you cannot keep fighting and like chasing after someone to be part of it or to try to fit in.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: Because then that just shows that you don't have enough self-worth to walk away.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I know you think it's it's better to be surrounded by some people who are like mediocre than no one.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_00: I promise you that is not true because it is draining you and it's stopping your growth, it is stopping you from attracting more abundance in soul-aligned friendships means that they support you no matter what.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: They have your back no matter what.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: And there's no jealousy, there's no comparison, there's no uh, you know, they succeed, it comes from yours, there's none of that.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: And if you find yourself, maybe you're listening to this episode and you're thinking, oh, maybe you're the one being triggered, and maybe you're the one engaging in sisterhood wounding.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: And if that's you, I really encourage you to think about what is this person triggering me that I need to heal.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: And then if you're the one on the receiving end of, you know, not so great people, what boundaries do you need to set with these people?
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: And for some people, it might be like fully cutting them out of your life.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: For others, it might be like you're not the one to initiate, you know, asking to go to dinner because you're always the one who asks to go to dinner, or you're always the one checking in, you're always the one texting first, whatever it is, right?
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: So there's like different degrees of boundaries you can set.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: But you cannot call in soul-aligned friendships if you're putting up with shitty ones.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're putting up with shitty ones and having trouble setting boundaries, and that means you have low self-worth.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: We need to heal your self-worth.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: We need to go back and release the trauma of that little chances are the little girl, because normally these things happen in childhood, of that little girl who does not believe she is worthy.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_00: And if this is you, join God's activation, right?
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: It is more lonely to be around people who treat you like shit.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I promise you that.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I know it's hard, and I've been on the other side, and it might be hard for a few months or like a month when you cut the people out, and then that there's like that empty space where like you're you don't have anyone to like go have fun with on weekend or to chat about that's okay.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: You need to sit in that space, that uncomfortable part, to bring in more.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: Because the universe, I promise you, is working behind the scenes to bring you aligned friendships.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I say that because I've been on that other side, and I have been where I am now, and I'm lucky enough now to have ride or die friends who no matter what celebrate my highs, no matter like if it's quote unquote better than them or not, who support me no matter what, who are there for me, who do not talk behind my back, who don't don't like exclude me and do kind of like that high school bullshit.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: Who you know, one time I had a friend, this was like oh, how long ago?
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe like oh time is weird, year and a half ago, two years, I don't know, something like that.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: Who literally told me, she's my best friend, your growth and success makes me uncomfortable and I don't know how to be your friend anymore.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, alright, bye.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like it was just so like, I mean, I'm glad she told me up front.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: See, that's a good example of how she just told me up front.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: Beautiful, and I can respect that because she was at least was told me that like I can't do this, and that was like big of her, right?
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: But like this is perfectly what I mean by like if there are people who you know are like that and they're not setting the boundary and they're not being like, hey, I can't do this, you need to say I can't do this, and that's fine.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't make any person better or worse, it just means that like that person's not aligned for you anymore.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: And one thing I also want to know, no, no, say, is that it is I think what people get really caught up in right now is the fact that like, oh, I haven't had a core group of friends for like 10 years or 15 years or you know, like since high school or since grade school.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I know there are some people who have maybe a couple good friends, and I rarely see like really aligned friendships that last that long, but like I know it exists, 100%.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: Do not get me wrong, that exists out there.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: But it's also okay that your friends change and evolve as you grow and evolve.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: The person I was like three, four years ago, who didn't have boundaries, had low self-worth, was stuck in her masculine, not comfortable in her skin, you know, was dimming her light.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: There's no way I would have the same friends then and now unless maybe that they grew with me, right?
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_00: Because when you grow, you operate a higher frequency and then you find higher frequency people.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_00: So do not get like get bogged down if you are not one of those people who haven't had like a core group of girlfriends that are like, I don't know, five or six of you since high school.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's okay.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: And what you really need to do is start evaluating what are my boundaries, what do I expect in a friendship, and then evaluate each of your friendships and be like, huh, does this person meet that standard?
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_00: Or we can have different categories.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: We can put them in, like, okay, they're not gonna be a best friend, they'll maybe be someone I see every couple months, and I can go have dinner with them and that's fine, but they're not someone I, you know, talk to every day or regularly.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: But if you are, if you feel at any point that you need to be less of who you are around someone, they are not a line friend for you.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_00: If you cannot celebrate, I don't know, whether it's getting pregnant, getting engaged, uh, getting a promotion, making a shit ton of money, whatever it is, then walk away.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_00: Now, did I cover?
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: I covered how it's blocking you, I covered lessons I've learned since you're dwinding and how to call them in.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: The biggest thing is that you need to create the space in order to call them in.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_00: Think about it like a pie.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_00: If your 100% of your pie is taken by shitty friends and you're operating at a low frequency, you can't call in different.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_00: You cannot wait for higher frequency people to come in while staying in that lower frequency.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_00: You have to cut them out, raise your frequency, set your boundaries, and then those people will come in.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_00: I promise you that.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_00: I promise, promise, promise.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: And like I said, if you need help working through any of this, kind of overcoming the sisterhood wounding and the low self-worth and boundaries, definitely get into goddess activation because we are going to be doing all of that.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_00: Alright, guys.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_00: That was a nice, short, juicy episode.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted to touch on basically like the tough stuff that I've learned because I can't tell you when I say, and this comes down to self-love too, because self-worth means lack, like low self-worth means lack of self-love.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_00: This is probably uh, yeah, it is.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_00: This is the hardest lesson I've had to learn in the last few years.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like, especially for, you know, our biology as females is connection, especially with females.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_00: It can be a lot harder to set boundaries and when we talk about friendships than necessarily romantic.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_00: And like being the embodiment of these boundaries and what you know I require in a friend, 100% hardest thing I've ever done.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_00: Like bawling my eyes out, hardest, like gut-wrenching, shaking, you know, actually standing up for myself and overcoming and healing all of this over the last couple years.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_00: Feel like full, full.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: So I get it.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to know that I truly get it, but you need to set boundaries, you need to stand up for yourself.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: You need to know that there are people out there who are amazing, and that energy will come to you when you decide that you are worthy and deserving of that energy.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_00: Alright.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like I've said things at least twice in this episode, so with that being said, I hope you enjoyed this episode, and I will see you guys in the next one.