Latest / Startup Dad / From TBS’s My Boys to Stay-at-Home Dad | Jamie Kaler (Dad of 2, Actor and Comedian)
Transcript
- [00:00:00] Jamie Kaler: I thought when I had kids I'd become my dad, but the truth is I became my mom. Because I remember one day I woke up and the first thought in my head was, "I need to cook that chicken before it goes bad." [00:00:09] Jamie Kaler: And then I threw my back out vacuuming, which is why I started drinking Chardonnay at 3:00 in the afternoon. [00:00:14] Jamie Kaler: The winner. Ah! [00:00:17] Adam Fishman: Welcome to Startup Dad, the podcast where we dive deep into the lives of dads who are also leaders in the world of startups and business. I'm your host, Adam Fishman. What happens when you go from naval officer to stand-up comedian to stay-at-home dad? Today, I'm joined by Jamie Kaler, an actor and comedian best known for his role on TBS's "My Boys" and his extensive work in television and commercials spanning three decades. [00:00:46] Adam Fishman: Jamie's career journey is completely unconventional. He served five years in the U.S. Navy, then at age 30 moved to LA with no connections to pursue acting, eventually appearing on everything from "Friends" and "Will & Grace" to "How I Met Your Mother" and hundreds of TV commercials. He's a dad to two daughters and has made the transition from red carpets to carpool lines, bringing his unique blend of military precision and comedic timing to the chaos of modern parenting. [00:01:13] Adam Fishman: He's now back on the stand-up circuit at age 60 with a set of routines based largely on his fatherhood journey. In our conversation today, we spoke about his unconventional career pivot from naval officer to stand-up comedian and what his military family thought about that decision, how he applies military discipline and structure to parenting while maintaining flexibility for the unpredictable moments of fatherhood, the culture shock of going from Hollywood sets to soccer sideline chaos and why both require their own kind of performance skills, his perspective on aging in comedy and as a dad, and how becoming a dad has influenced his material and approach to the business, the technology generation gap he navigates with his now 11 and almost 13-year-old daughters, and how he's learned to embrace rather than fight it. [00:02:02] Adam Fishman: Our conversation is full of hilarious anecdotes from his career and great behind-the-scenes moments from the guy everyone vaguely recognizes but can't quite place. If you like what you hear, please subscribe to Startup Dad on YouTube or Spotify so you never miss an episode. You'll find it everywhere you get your podcasts. [00:02:20] Adam Fishman: I hope you enjoy today's conversation with Jamie Kaler. Welcome Jamie Kahler to Startup Dad. My pleasure having you here today. Thanks for joining me. [00:02:30] Jamie Kaler: Are you kidding? Thanks for having me. I get to tell my wife and my-- I was like an hour away from the children where I was like, "I have to do this important interview. I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be locked away." And by the way, I told my wife this interview is for several hours. So even though I'm gonna log off at some point, I am going to be pretending to be on this interview for the rest of the day [00:02:48] Adam Fishman: All right. Well, for people who don't [00:02:53] Adam Fishman: know you, I wanna start with your resume, uh, because it is, completely insane. so you were in the U.S. Navy for a while, five years you were in San Diego. And then I, I imagine you looked around, you're like, "Hey, this Navy thing is cool, but you know what I should do next is, stand-up comedy." [00:03:06] Adam Fishman: how did that come [00:03:07] Adam Fishman: about, and what did your commanding officer think when you were, uh, pivoting to stand-up? [00:03:12] Jamie Kaler: I didn't do any before I got out. We, you, know, we were on a cruise. I remember on the ship... I had a great time in the Navy. I mean, I went in the year after Top Gun came out, and it was-- I was stationed in San Diego. [00:03:24] Adam Fishman: did you play a lot of shirtless beach volleyball w- in, in jeans? [00:03:27] Jamie Kaler: I'll send you some photos. Yeah. [00:03:28] Jamie Kaler: I did. I actually, this is crazy. [00:03:30] Jamie Kaler: I, I had never played volleyball in my life, but I ended up getting B rated. you know, it goes B, A, double A, triple A, professional. B rated. I was in a tournament, and we, we ended up winning this tournament, my buddy and I, two-man volleyball, and I ended up getting... But I had the purple shorts and the blue visor, and out there digging and, uh, oh my God, I loved it. [00:03:54] Jamie Kaler: That's how I met all my friends. We were, living in Pacific Beach. I was in the Navy, and I met these dudes at, like, at Kahuna's on the beach, and, uh, we ended up, on weekends, we would literally just ride our bikes. I had an apartment with a couple friends right up off the beach, and we would bike down I'd have my chair on my back. [00:04:13] Jamie Kaler: We'd have coolers of beers. We'd just be drinking all day, and winner would hold the court, and we'd l- we'd liter- be on the beach for like 12 hours. And, uh [00:04:21] Adam Fishman: you're like crawling off at the end, like after all the beers. [00:04:24] Jamie Kaler: So, I mean, I was-- Apparently people have told me, they said, "We always knew you were gonna do that." And I never did. I never did. I mean, nowadays, you know, kids, my kids are in plays and there's talent shows. [00:04:34] Jamie Kaler: There wa- at that time, there was no "American Idol." I was from New Hampshire [00:04:39] Jamie Kaler: my father was like, I used to do this as a joke. He goes, "He didn't even know John Wayne was an actor. He just thought John Wayne fought in every war throughout history." Like, there was no shows that were like competition shows about performing or anything. [00:04:52] Jamie Kaler: Like, we were in New Hampshire, Rob Lowe and, and all those kids grew up, Robert Downey Jr., right here in Malibu, and their dads were in the business going, "Hey, you wanna do a couple lines today?" And the guy's like, Yeah. sure." Then they're in the movies, and that didn't happen in New Hampshire. [00:05:05] Jamie Kaler: There was a couple plays, but, you know, I wasn't really in the, even in the theater department much. I did a cameo my senior year. [00:05:11] Jamie Kaler: I get, I get in the Navy. I owe years because they paid for college. I was ROTC at Boston University. And when I was in, I was gonna stay. My brother was an admiral, my father was a pilot in World War II, and I was gonna stay in and be a captain of a ship, swinging dick as they call it. [00:05:26] Jamie Kaler: [00:05:26] Jamie Kaler: master of your own domain. but my first captain was awesome, and we cruised and we went on a West Pac tour and I did Australia and Hong Kong when it was still British, which was pretty great. And all over Southeast Asia, the Philippines, Thailand. I went to Pakistan. I went to Diego Garcia, and it was awesome. [00:05:48] Jamie Kaler: And I was like, "Oh, this is cool, man. Really cool." And then I get on my second ship and it wasn't as cool, and it was a lot of like busy work and annoying, and I just realized I didn't want to do it for a living. But I was always kind of the funny dude even, you know, I was, I was the clown. And so when I got out, I thought I was gonna go into advertising. [00:06:06] Jamie Kaler: I remember buying "Adweek" [00:06:08] Jamie Kaler: at that time, commercials were kind of like an art form. I guess they still are in a [00:06:12] Jamie Kaler: way. [00:06:12] Adam Fishman: The Mad- Men, you know, stuff, right? Yeah [00:06:15] Jamie Kaler: I love-- By the way, not to go tangentially, but how did they not-- Like, he's in New York. [00:06:22] Jamie Kaler: He goes to LA and he falls in with, like, the Laurel Canyon thing, and then they start doing TV in the '70s, and I'm like, "That should've been the next season." They should've got rid of everybody but Jon Hamm. He should've gone to an ad agency in Los Angeles, been partying up in Laurel Canyon with Nicholson and the crew. [00:06:42] Jamie Kaler: You could've stunt cast the thing. And then I had friends who booked a Schick commercial, Schick shaving, you know? In the '70s. Made $250,000 Bought him a house. He goes, "I bought that house off of Schick com-- one commercial." Like, that was advertising back then. so I'm in San Diego and I get out of the Navy and I have, uh, three months paid leave, so I don't even-- I'm not even looking for a job. [00:07:06] Jamie Kaler: I'm, like, sitting on the beach and I want-- I was like, "You know what?" I was kinda burned out and so I said, "I'm just gonna get a bartending job." And so I went into the Pacific Beach Brewing Company 'cause they didn't make mixed drinks and I wasn't-- I didn't know how to bartend. So I go in there and they're not hiring and I said, "You will." [00:07:24] Jamie Kaler: You know, It's, bartending, so it's gonna be a turnover. So I, I said, "I'm gonna come in here every day until you hire me." And she laughed. And it, took 27 days And finally on the 27th day-- Every day I'd pop my head in I'd have my bike with my beach chair and [00:07:36] Jamie Kaler: I'd be like [00:07:36] Adam Fishman: days in a 12-step program and you had a job [00:07:39] Jamie Kaler: She'd laugh and I'd make her laugh. [00:07:41] Jamie Kaler: You know, I'd-- sometimes I'd hang for a couple minutes and sometimes she'd look busy and I'd be like, "Nope, not today? Okay." And I'd leave and she'd laugh, and it was this recurring gig. And after 27 days, she's like, "Fine. I'll let you work the door." [00:07:55] Jamie Kaler: And so she goes, "Come Friday." And so I show up Friday at 7:00, and she goes, "Oh, no. [00:08:00] Jamie Kaler: Come back in an hour. I forgot to fire the guy." And so I had to leave, and then she fired the dude, and I came back and I worked the door for like maybe five or six months, maybe not even less. And then I was behind the bar. I said, "I'll be behind the bar soon." And eventually I was back there pouring. And that was great. [00:08:15] Jamie Kaler: And so from there, my friend was in an improv group. I didn't even do stand-up at the time. he was in an improv group and he was like, "Hey, man, you're really funny. there's some really good-looking women in this improv group. You should, you should come." And I go, "Yeah. Yeah [00:08:27] Jamie Kaler: of course." And so I start doing improv and, uh, I audition into this improv. [00:08:32] Jamie Kaler: I'd never done improv before. I didn't know what I was doing. And, uh, I just kept showing up, and eventually I joined this improv group, and some agent came and saw me and was like, "Hey, I'll send you out for commercials or whatever." And I was like, Yeah. that sounds great." And I had-- I got some headshots made or whatever, I ended up booking the very first commercial I ever went on. [00:08:49] Jamie Kaler: It was a SeaWorld commercial, and I made like $25,000 or something. And I was behind the bar and I was like, "Oh, this is the least amount of work for the most amount of money that any human can ever get." And so I started pursuing it, and I ended up doing like Silk Stockings and Renegade. Renegade was my first show ever with Lorenzo Lamas. [00:09:07] Jamie Kaler: It was out of San Diego. So I started doing that, Our improv group actually was pretty good, and we splintered off and formed our own. And then, I was in San Diego for maybe two years after, and I was starting to get work, I was 30 years old. It was crazy. [00:09:22] Jamie Kaler: And [00:09:26] Jamie Kaler: I go, "I'm going to LA. I'm gonna be an actor." And everyone's like, "Not a chance." I got in a car and I moved to LA. I didn't know anybody. I ended up joining Acme Comedy Theater. You know, I dabbled in stand-up, but I wasn't really a stand-up comic. I liked working with other people. [00:09:35] Jamie Kaler: And then eventually I realized you can't really monetize, improv. And so stand-up started to take off. Once I got a good act, I was off and running. And then I started doing, you know, I toured I went to Montreal as a new face when I was 40. And then I ended up booking my boys off of that, and I did a couple late night sets, and then I was like, "Yeah, I guess I'm okay. [00:09:56] Jamie Kaler: guess I'm an actor." [00:09:57] Adam Fishman: when you're doing this transition from the Navy to comedy, like you said, you have an entire military family, like your dad, your brother. Like, what does dad think about this as you're like, "You know, I'm gonna tend bar and then I'm gonna go be a s- a comic and do [00:10:09] Adam Fishman: advertising [00:10:10] Adam Fishman: commercials"? [00:10:11] Adam Fishman: Yeah, I can't imagine. [00:10:13] Jamie Kaler: was like, "Just do the [00:10:13] Jamie Kaler: 20. Just do the 20. Just do 20 years. [00:10:17] Jamie Kaler: You'll be set for life." And I go, yeah [00:10:19] Jamie Kaler: life's too short. I don't wanna do that," And so the Navy's hard to get out of too, by the way. Because I was an officer, I had to write a letter like resigning my commission a year ahead of time, and then I had to do a year after that. [00:10:30] Jamie Kaler: So you put your letter in and for like six to nine months, they are trying to talk you out of it. [00:10:35] Adam Fishman: Sure. And then the last three, they're just abusing you at that point. [00:10:38] Jamie Kaler: Come on, you wanna-- You know you're gonna be a captain. What are you doing? Everyone goes through this. Just pull your letter and stay." And I, I stayed strong, which was really hard actually. [00:10:47] Jamie Kaler: They were kind of like, "Come on, man. You're doing great. You're gonna be a captain." And so then the last three months they're like, when they know you're not coming back, they go, "F you." And they kind of like [00:10:58] Adam Fishman: Right. Scrub the, scrub the toilets. Like, Yeah. [00:11:01] Jamie Kaler: You're a short-timer. And then I, I remember I got out. I actually stayed an extra year to help the ship prepare 'cause they were going to Gulf War. The day I got out, they were going overseas, and I timed it to, for that to help them. And so I got out, and I was on the pier waving, and all the guys on the ship were like, "Long donger." [00:11:18] Jamie Kaler: And I go, "See ya. Wouldn't [00:11:21] Jamie Kaler: wanna be [00:11:21] Adam Fishman: smash the bottle of champagne on the hull as they go [00:11:24] Jamie Kaler: And then I went to the beach and, uh, played volleyball [00:11:27] Adam Fishman: so you've been in, like, every TV show of the last 30 years, like My Boys, Friends, Will & Grace, How I Met Your Mother, Monk, King of Queens, like, That '70s Show, also a favorite of mine, and, like, a couple hundred commercials. [00:11:41] Adam Fishman: I told a friend I was interviewing you for this podcast, another dad, and he goes, uh, "Oh, I vaguely recognize him." [00:11:48] Jamie Kaler: That's what I get. [00:11:49] Adam Fishman: is that a, blessing or a curse? Like, do you get stopped in the grocery [00:11:52] Adam Fishman: store or anything, or [00:11:53] Jamie Kaler: I've never loved, fame, I guess, in a way. But here's what was stupid. I should've, I should've, like, put myself out there a little more to be famous because that creates work. people get cast all the time for just being famous. [00:12:07] Jamie Kaler: But I just loved what I was doing, and I didn't really care about, self-publicity. Wasn't my jam. during "My Boys," I got recognized a lot, and it was really sometimes uncomfortable. You'd be in a bar and people would just start talking to you and you'd be like, "Okay." For the first 30 seconds you're like, "Hey, I appreciate it. [00:12:25] Jamie Kaler: Thank you so much." And then, you know, 10 minutes later you're like, you should leave. Like, this is weird." [00:12:30] Adam Fishman: Yeah. [00:12:31] Jamie Kaler: so I didn't love it personally, which was cool about "My Boys" because the other guys are pretty much the same. And I do that podcast, "Who Needs," with Mike Bunin, And I talk to my kids about it because this whole next generation are like, they wanna be famous, and I'm like, "For what? [00:12:44] Jamie Kaler: You wanna be famous enough that you get a few perks in life, like you can get a good table or? [00:12:49] Jamie Kaler: you can get a reservation, I like being in public and talking to people, and Tom Cruise can't do that. You know, if you're super famous, you can't, I mean, you can't go out, man. [00:13:01] Jamie Kaler: 'cause I still see these guys all-- I see Carell at the local grocery store all the time, and I would never walk up to him, [00:13:09] Jamie Kaler: but people do. [00:13:10] Jamie Kaler: I was golfing. There's a little golf place right here, uh, Whitsitt. It was like a little pitch and putt. It just got bought by a school and turned into a parking lot, but it was a little, like, par three. [00:13:19] Jamie Kaler: you'd walk in and be like Joe Pesci, uh, Larry David, like it was pretty crazy. And you'd be like, 'cause this was before the pandemic or whatever. And Larry David is there taking a lesson and he's hitting balls, I had the same teacher in this, uh, who's a friend of ours, Ron Del Barrio, who's a fantastic golf teacher, had taught Stallone, had taught everybody. [00:13:37] Jamie Kaler: And so we were taking lessons with him. And so we're just kinda waiting for our lesson and we're watching Larry D- I'm like, "Larry David." I never did "Curb." I auditioned once and he's like, "You're very funny. You're very funny." And I didn't get the part. I think Paul Tompkins got the part or whatever, but, uh, huge fan, right? [00:13:50] Jamie Kaler: And I-- we would just see people walk by, and as they walked by, they'd look, and then they'd look down and then do like a s-swivel head double take of like, "Holy, that's Larry David!" And this one dude totally stops, does a double take. You can see him just pause and he shakes his head and he's like and he walks up to Larry David. [00:14:10] Jamie Kaler: He had this whole internal monologue in his head and he goes, I told myself I wasn't gonna come up to you." And before he could say another word, Larry David goes, "You told yourself you weren't gonna do it, and yet you're doing it. You're doing it." And he goes, "I know." He goes, "I know, but I'm just such a big fan and I s- I said I'm not gonna go talk to him." [00:14:29] Jamie Kaler: "But you're still doing it. You're talking to me. You see what you're doing? You told yourself you weren't gonna do something and now you're doing it." And Oh, my God [00:14:37] Jamie Kaler: the other guy and I were just sitting rolling. and the dude still wouldn't leave. [00:14:40] Jamie Kaler: [00:14:40] Adam Fishman: he's also in the middle of a golf lesson, right? He's like learn- trying to learn a [00:14:44] Adam Fishman: thing, and it's like, it's like somebody walks in on you when you're in the bathroom, you know? And is like, wants to have a chat with you, and you're like, "Hey, I'm in the middle of something [00:14:52] Jamie Kaler: It's even worse nowadays because people will f- film. I see like a film of like, you know? [00:14:58] Jamie Kaler: Kurt Russell eating dinner in a quiet restaurant and some dude's filming him from the next table and you're like, "Hey man." [00:15:04] Adam Fishman: the man alone. [00:15:05] Jamie Kaler: Nobody will leave anyone alone. And what's funny is the people who really love fame now are famous for like the least amount of talent you've ever seen, where it's like they're a YouTube and you're like, "I, I see a crowd around you. [00:15:18] Jamie Kaler: I know you're famous, but w- again, what are you famous for?" "Uh, I have a YouTube channel where I, uh, I visit taco stands and rate the tacos." "And that's, that's it?" "That's it. I'm very famous [00:15:29] Jamie Kaler: for that." [00:15:30] Adam Fishman: So you're Yelp [00:15:31] Adam Fishman: basically. Yeah, yeah. [00:15:32] Adam Fishman: so you've done, you know, you've interviewed folks on the red carpet. You interviewed Will Smith and Jamie Foxx, and [00:15:38] Adam Fishman: then you pivoted and you became a stay-at-home dad at the age of like what, 50 or something [00:15:43] Adam Fishman: like that? what's the bigger adrenaline rush, the live carpet or getting your two kids out the door by 7:45? [00:15:49] Jamie Kaler: I just did it, dude. Well, I, I wouldn't say it's an adrenaline rush. one is like this crazy excitement on the red carpet, and then every morning is a punch in the face. And my kids don't take a bus. I've, I've driven them to and from school every day for nine years, [00:16:08] Jamie Kaler: 10 years, to, through preschool and everything. [00:16:10] Jamie Kaler: And I'm, Yeah. [00:16:11] Jamie Kaler: I gotta pick them up at 2:50 today. And then I think we have a soccer practice tonight, and one has like a tutoring session. And then it's every day. Sometimes my wife's like, "Okay, on Thursday we're gonna go..." "I got Tuesday in my head. Let me get through Tuesday, then I'll talk to, I'll talk about Wednesday. [00:16:29] Jamie Kaler: And then on Wednesday night, we'll, we'll figure out Thursday." [00:16:31] Jamie Kaler: how old are your kids? [00:16:32] Adam Fishman: Mine are similarly aged to yours, 13 and 11. [00:16:35] Jamie Kaler: in August I'll have a 13-year-old and [00:16:37] Jamie Kaler: an 11-year-old [00:16:38] Adam Fishman: good luck. Good luck to you. [00:16:39] Jamie Kaler: it's crazy. [00:16:40] Adam Fishman: And both of yours are girls, if I'm not mistaken, [00:16:43] Adam Fishman: right? [00:16:43] Jamie Kaler: little girls. Yeah. [00:16:45] Jamie Kaler: And that's one, one of my jokes from my act is like, I went to the kids' school and they did a big, uh, talk to all the teachers and they were like, "Just so you know, with technology today, you need to keep your kids safe on the internet." [00:16:54] Jamie Kaler: And I raised my hand, I was like, "Hey, man, I'm 60. Sh- who Who needs to keep me safe on the internet?" [00:16:59] Adam Fishman: how did you make the transition from, interviewing people on the red carpet to stay-at-home dad? what was the genesis for that? [00:17:07] Jamie Kaler: the whole interview on the red carpet was solely because, and it was super great. I was on the show "My Boys," and TBS they were doing the SAG Awards. it was a little plug, and also I was always the guy, Mike and I were the two guys who were, like, did the promos for the show as the, like, backstage improv funny guys. [00:17:24] Jamie Kaler: And so they decided to have me, and I was with Dave Karger, who's like, who has my dream job. he's the host of TCM, Turner Classic Movies. him and,Ben Mankiewicz. They introduce the movies, which is all I ever wanted to do. Oh, I love that job. [00:17:39] Jamie Kaler: I used to go to the Turner Classic Festivals because TBS was Turner, and I would, we would go to, like, old screenings and I loved s- I, I still think film is art. I ended up hosting that with Karger, and it was crazy. I interviewed Ricky Gervais, Eddie Murphy, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Jeremy Irons, Helen Mirren, Javier Bardem. [00:17:57] Jamie Kaler: "No Country for Old Men" came out and I was like, "Hey man. [00:17:59] Jamie Kaler: sorry to do this, but could you say, could you call me friendo?" And he goes, "Friendo." And I was like, Oh, You know, I-- Ricky Gervais, I said, "Man," the, 'cause I love the original "Office" even more than the American one, I go, "Steve Carell owes you his career." [00:18:14] Jamie Kaler: And he's like, "He does. He should pay me." I go, "He should" So it was really fun. I mean, I flew my mom out. My mom, I bought her a dress, and she was, like, in her 80s at the time, and she was on the red carpet too. [00:18:26] Jamie Kaler: you know what's funny about, like, fame? even then I remember going into the after-party and I was, like, standing, like, four feet from John Travolta and all these monster stars, [00:18:37] Jamie Kaler: You know, there were little pockets of them chatting with each other, but, you know, I've been in rooms with super famous people It's so uncomfortable. You can't walk up and go, "Hey man, how was your day?" You know, it's like Leo DiCaprio's not, he's gonna turn and go, "Why are you talking to me?" [00:18:55] Jamie Kaler: I remember people talking to me that I didn't know who knew me from "My Boys," and I was immediately like it's just such a weird dynamic that it, it's so not real. And [00:19:06] Jamie Kaler: what the funny thing is, is I, I mean, when I first got to LA, I got a job bartending in a pub. So I was still that guy, like locally as the pub, as the bartender. Everyone knew me as Jamie from O'Brien's. And it was more cliquish and you had your friends and stuff. But I've always been like, I like to hang with my own gang of friends. [00:19:25] Jamie Kaler: Even when I was doing stuff like that, I would still bring my same three or four friends with me wherever I went, 'cause I'm not gonna walk up to so-and-so and start talking. Uh, some people are amazing at it, the kudos, and they oftentimes become super famous. And I had some friends that, left me in the dust because they were off and running I still every now and then will bump into them and be like, "Hey man, remember when we did the show?" [00:19:48] Jamie Kaler: But, but they're like superstars and, it separates people in a weird way that's got this weird dynamic to it that I never loved. some people are fake about it, some people aren't, but it is what it is [00:19:58] Adam Fishman: Yeah. Well, so tell me about becoming a stay-at-home dad at age 50. Like, how did that even come about? [00:20:04] Jamie Kaler: I would tour doing stand-up, and at the time my boys-- I just had the kids and my boys had just wrapped. and I was, you know, auditioning for a bunch of other stuff, and I could've done some other gigs, but my wife has a wonderful career, and she was traveling with her career. [00:20:19] Jamie Kaler: you know, one of us had to stay home. And so, the kids were super young and we had them really close together. They're 18 months apart. And so I just stopped doing the road and stayed home and kind of became the stay-at-home dad. because obviously also my wife's career was fantastic and, you know, stand-up is, it's grinding, man. [00:20:38] Jamie Kaler: It's a grind to go out for like Wednesday through Monday to do a club for the weekend. I never loved the road anyway, so I remember I had taken home ec in, in high school and I was like the only guy in the class. And I remember people being like, "But you're never gonna use this," I go, "Well, I guess I am. [00:20:53] Jamie Kaler: I guess I am gonna use home ec." So I still do most, you know, cooking and, [00:20:58] Jamie Kaler: I'm kind of a stay-at-home dad. And now my whole act is about that. one of the bits is about how I thought when I had kids I'd become my dad, but the truth is I became my mom. Because I remember one day I woke up and the first thought in my head was, "I need to cook that chicken before it goes bad." [00:21:13] Jamie Kaler: And then I threw my back out vacuuming, which is why I started drinking Chardonnay at 3:00 in the afternoon. The winner. [00:21:18] Jamie Kaler: Ah! [00:21:21] Adam Fishman: you know, the most popular episode of this show that I've recorded is about mental load. and that falls mostly on women. But I think in your house it falls on you, right? [00:21:32] Adam Fishman: You're like doing the school runs and the, you know, you've turned into your own mom, as you said. It's [00:21:37] Jamie Kaler: I did turn into my mother. I recorded a couple albums. I mean, I did an album during, uh, the pandemic called "Homeschooled," which is up on my YouTube channel where I homeschooled two kids [00:21:46] Jamie Kaler: on iPads for like 18 months, where I was like, "Gonna not [00:21:51] Jamie Kaler: make it." I was like just hanging on by a thread. [00:21:55] Jamie Kaler: they were home all day, and I tried to run it like school. I'm such a, you know, I'm still military. every day I would print out their schedule, tape it over their iPad, and one was in, I think one was in kindergarten and one was in second or f- or first and third. [00:22:08] Jamie Kaler: I made them put their uniform on. They had to wear their school uniform in the house. I would make breakfast. At recess, we would go outside and run around. And then, you know, they would, they would be on classes with teachers for like 40 minutes at a time. And their schedules didn't line up. [00:22:22] Jamie Kaler: They kind of overlapped in weird times. And then at the end of the day, I would be like, That's, the end of the day." And so-- But I would see other kids on the iPads, 'cause all the kids, the kids were in the class, and some kids were just literally under their bed, [00:22:33] Jamie Kaler: a lot of families had, had both parents working, so they really were like, "Here's the iPad, we'll see you at 3:00." But I was the opposite. I kind of hung over them and stuff. 'Cause there was also no acting work. Uh, everything had shut down. I was doing "American Housewife" at that time, and I was doing "Tacoma FD." [00:22:50] Jamie Kaler: So we did shoot a couple things where we, you know, super cautious, masks and everything else. that was a hard time, I, I think for everybody that-- I still think everyone's a little messed up, and I think that accelerated the divisiveness and the, you know, paranoia and everything going on. [00:23:10] Jamie Kaler: I think it's still gonna take some time to kind of blend that out. And I think for the kids also, there was a loss of a social element for those years. Like, we just went to my daughter's fifth grade graduation, which is insane by the way. They had a fifth grade graduation. [00:23:24] Jamie Kaler: And, you know, a bunch of the parents, this was all during the pandemic. I don't know a lot of the people in the class, and we've been to the same class for f- like five years. And I'm, I'm like, "Hey," like, 'cause I, we didn't have all those little grammar school parties for the first couple years. [00:23:37] Adam Fishman: Yeah, you couldn't get together. Yeah. [00:23:39] Jamie Kaler: they separate. the boys and girls go to different parties. I f- I, it's like I might be fifth or sixth grade where they go, "Yeah, the boys aren't invited to this one. Get out." [00:23:46] Adam Fishman: But then they start to get invited again when you get later in middle school, and that's when you really got to watch out. [00:23:51] Jamie Kaler: That's when you really got... I mean, I don't know about you, but when I grew up, eighth grade was where it all started to change [00:23:58] Adam Fishman: Well, not anymore 'cause kids are on phones and apparently that means that they don't do anything anymore other than be [00:24:03] Jamie Kaler: they don't know how to talk to each other. [00:24:04] Jamie Kaler: So unless they slide into their DMs, Like she has a phone, but there's no social media. it should be outlawed for people under 30 really, but it's at least 16 probably. [00:24:14] Adam Fishman: you know, in our prep for this show, I asked you about, uh, frameworks for fatherhood, and you were like, "I don't have any. None. I'm just winging it. I have no idea what I'm doing."- [00:24:23] Adam Fishman: where's, like, the most lost you've ever felt as a dad? [00:24:26] Jamie Kaler: I feel like parenthood is this thing where you're lost and then all of a sudden it all clicks and you're like, "Oh, okay. All right. I'm locked in. All right, I got this. All right, I got this. They're doing this, they're doing this, they're doing this." [00:24:39] Jamie Kaler: And then literally the next year everything changes. You know, we just had to go to a thing for the fifth grader because next year she goes to middle school and there's a big thing about, hey, it's gonna change. Hormones are gonna start flying, there's stuff happening. And so like every time I think I have it, the next thing comes in and I'm like, Oh [00:24:59] Jamie Kaler: yeah, I don't, I don't know what's happening here." [00:25:00] Jamie Kaler: I have a friend and we talk all the time and he goes, "How's it going?" And I always-- My quote for parenthood is the same as Jim Valvano from NC State where he's like, I just go, "Survive and advance, baby." That's it. Parenthood in a nutshell. And I want to actually-- That's gonna be a good T-shirt, "Survive and advance parenthood." [00:25:16] Adam Fishman: Yes. Oh, Startup Dad, that's the new Startup Dad mantra, survive and advance. all right, we're gonna come back to this thing. you told me that, ChatGPT is your wife's best friend, I have some questions about that, but before, I wanna talk about Soccer Dad, 'cause you're wearing the shirt. [00:25:30] Adam Fishman: Yeah, there it is. There it is. By the way, are those supposed to be ice cubes in a, in a glass? Those are, [00:25:34] Adam Fishman: yeah. [00:25:36] Jamie Kaler: Yeah. [00:25:36] Jamie Kaler: it's an alcohol shirt pretty much. And the w- and the m- soccer mom one is a wine glass, [00:25:41] Jamie Kaler: my daughter started taking golf lessons, and my buddy who helped me with the whole thing made a golf dad shirt. And now she's playing basketball, which honestly might be a better choice for her because, I played soccer, and at some point, unless you're blazing fast, you're like, "I can't guard that guy, man. [00:25:58] Jamie Kaler: I don't know what to tell you. He's going right past me, so I'm out." [00:26:01] Adam Fishman: Is your daughter taking golf lessons from Larry David, or have they not gotten to that stage of the relationship yet? [00:26:06] Jamie Kaler: No, they're not there yet. Well, you said you weren't gonna take lessons from me. So, you said you... In Griffith Park, I shouldn't even give this up because the classes are so good and they're kind of cheap. It's, uh, Tregnan Golf Academy in Griffith Park, and it's this little, like, there's three holes, a driving range. [00:26:24] Jamie Kaler: Like, the holes are small because she's 11. And so we've been taking lessons, and she's got a really-- She's got a better swing than I do, and very natural. She's very eye-hand coordinated. [00:26:35] Jamie Kaler: it's really fun. And so we have gone to play golf together. And it's honestly, man, it's just the best. [00:26:43] Jamie Kaler: She also-- We got a basket in the front yard. She made me get a basket, and so she's been beating me in horse. She's [00:26:48] Jamie Kaler: 11. [00:26:49] Jamie Kaler: She's doing, like, weird, crazy shots. I'm like, "Claire, focus, baby." [00:26:54] Jamie Kaler: [00:26:54] Jamie Kaler: this is crazy. She gets on a soccer team in AYSO, and she randomly got picked onto a team that is arguably the best team I've ever seen. [00:27:06] Jamie Kaler: There are two or three kids. The coaches have definitely, canoodled There's no way these children should have been on the same team. Three of them. Two of the dads, it's their kids, the coaches. [00:27:19] Jamie Kaler: Oh, my God. [00:27:20] Jamie Kaler: those kids are, like, above flight one now. This was years ago. This was Claire's very first soccer experience. [00:27:27] Jamie Kaler: We're winning games 16, 17 to zero. We're murdering people. Like, I'm afraid I'm gonna get stabbed in the parking lot. I'm like, "What is happening?" The other team is, like, screaming at us. [00:27:38] Jamie Kaler: I'm like, "I have nothing [00:27:39] Jamie Kaler: to do with what's happening." [00:27:40] Adam Fishman: are like, "Uh, no mercy in this dojo. [00:27:42] Jamie Kaler: We would tell the little girl, she's so good. I won't say any names, but she's such a good player. She would have like five goals by halftime and he'd be like, "Ah, I'm gonna have you play defense." She's like, "I'm not playing defense." I don't know. So she was like seven years old. it." [00:27:56] Jamie Kaler: was crazy. She was so good. [00:27:58] Jamie Kaler: I mean, she's a D1 player. It's coming unless they burn out because we're playing the same sport 12 months a year from the age of four, [00:28:05] Adam Fishman: and training, doing dry land training off times. [00:28:08] Jamie Kaler: They're doing agility training with a parachute hanging off him. Like, the kid's six. They'll have practice three nights a week, they'll do agility training two nights a week, and then one night of the week they'll have their private coach coming out, setting up cones, doing the drills, and you're like, "The kid's, the kid's seven years old. [00:28:23] Jamie Kaler: What is [00:28:23] Jamie Kaler: happening?" [00:28:24] Adam Fishman: tear their ACL at age eight? [00:28:26] Jamie Kaler: Well, especially baseball. you can't pitch 11 months a year. What are you doing? So I've been really proactive about playing other sports. she is doing club soccer, but to go back to that, she gets on this team and they're killing people. [00:28:38] Jamie Kaler: And she ends up scoring a handful of goals 'cause she's literally in the right place at the right time and, you know, they're killing people. And so she keeps saying, she goes, "Dad, we're undefeated." I go, "Well, th- those kids are undefeated. You're a plus one. There's no illusions of your grandeur here." [00:28:52] Jamie Kaler: but she starts to dig it. And I think also because I played soccer, there was, you know, the kids, sometimes the kids wanna, there's a connection or whatever. And so we finally end up doing club. she's great with the ball. Once she gets it, she, she passes. [00:29:06] Jamie Kaler: She played-- 'Cause we always talk about, you know, structure. But at that age, kids just take the ball, dribble down, and try to score. And it infuriates me 'cause I'm like, "Just pass back and forth. It's so much easier." So she does that really well, and so she ends up playing club. And our first club game, we're getting murdered. [00:29:24] Jamie Kaler: We're getting murdered by the club she's now on, which is kind of funny. I stand at the end and I improvise and I do like 90 seconds of like, "Hey, club soccer, man. It's all c- it's all clicking, baby. We're doing this," or whatever. [00:29:38] Jamie Kaler: And it goes ballistic online. It kind of blows up a little bit. And so I didn't have soccer dad T-shirts, right? I, and I didn't even know, but I go, "Soccer dad," like just totally improvising, and I go, "Soccer dad here." And it took off. So I did another one, and then all of a sudden I started. to think of the crazy ones like Boot of Shame, where she should've shot with her right foot, but she doesn't. [00:30:02] Jamie Kaler: She hits it with her left. And so I make her wear the Boot of Shame, which is just a shoebox of rocks, so she uses her dominant foot. Then I made the Headbands of Separation because I coached AYSO for a year or two, and I mean, that was me every game going, " get away from each other. Why are you standing next to her? [00:30:21] Jamie Kaler: Get away." [00:30:22] Adam Fishman: Yeah. [00:30:23] Jamie Kaler: And So the Headband of Separation is a headband that if the two headbands get too close together, it gives them an electric shock and makes them run [00:30:29] Jamie Kaler: away from each other. So it had all these crazy things, and all of a sudden it really started to get some traction online and people were like, "Soccer dad!" [00:30:37] Jamie Kaler: And I'd go to tournaments and people would go, "Soccer dad! You're Soccer Dad!" And so we we just put a Printful up and made T-shirts. there's like a soccer dad army at this point. And so it just kind of took off. And now I'm gonna start touring. I've been like writing for stand-up. [00:30:55] Jamie Kaler: I'm kind of, you know, like nobody knows who I am, but they might come see Soccer Dad. I took a bunch of the stuff and just kind of wrote it into an act and it's just part of who I am at [00:31:05] Jamie Kaler: this point. [00:31:05] Adam Fishman: Isn't that funny? We were just talking about the people that are famous now and you have no idea how they got there, like the YouTubers. And now you've done a million things in your career and Soccer Dad is gonna be the thing that propels you [00:31:17] Jamie Kaler: People all the time will go, "Soccer Dad," like, were you in Will & Grace?" You're like, Yeah. I did six episodes of Will & Grace, one with Gene Wilder and one with Jeff Goldblum." And then a big one is The Family Stone, which I think we're shooting a sequel. [00:31:32] Jamie Kaler: I just hope John Traubdale's in it, and I have been told that I am in it, um, and that I'm a grandfather in this one. But that was like one of my very first jobs ever, and I'm barely in it. but everyone's like, are you in Family Stone?" [00:31:46] Adam Fishman: what role did you have in The Family Stone? I [00:31:48] Jamie Kaler: I'm John Traustal. So the whole episode, the one girl is talking about her husband who hasn't [00:31:54] Jamie Kaler: shown. He's like, [00:31:54] Adam Fishman: Oh, yes. You show up at the very end. [00:31:57] Jamie Kaler: I show up at the very [00:31:58] Adam Fishman: Literally after, Who's that, who's that guy making out with Amy in the car?" [00:32:03] Jamie Kaler: Yes! [00:32:03] Adam Fishman: that's your line. Yes. See? I told you I love that movie. I [00:32:08] Jamie Kaler: You do. [00:32:09] Adam Fishman: Yeah. [00:32:10] Jamie Kaler: do. [00:32:10] Jamie Kaler: I'm also in "Carnival." I, in flashback scenes, I'm a young Clancy Brown. [00:32:15] Adam Fishman: Wow [00:32:16] Jamie Kaler: as it was coming along, you would just go audition for something and you'd, you'd shoot something for a week and yeah, like a couple hundred commercials. [00:32:23] Jamie Kaler: I was a spokesperson for Carnival Cruise Lines. [00:32:26] Jamie Kaler: on "Robot Chicken," I play the bloopers host. I [00:32:28] Adam Fishman: Oh, yes. That's like a Bob Saget kinda knockoff, right? Yeah. [00:32:33] Jamie Kaler: it was kind of based on like those '70s guys, like almost Daren Pardo really from Saturday Night Live. "Coming up next, here's more bloopers." It was that guy. And I kinda do that in The Loud House, too. I play the softball announcer. [00:32:45] Jamie Kaler: I always feel like I'm a Highlander where they're like, there's, there's probably like, like in The Shining where they show the old picture and Jack Nicholson's in the picture with the old, with the guys from like 100 years ago. [00:32:54] Jamie Kaler: I feel like that guy. People always, I get that a lot. They go, "Where do I know you from? I know you from something." And I go ... 'Cause the truth is you've s- like everyone on Earth has probably seen my face [00:33:03] Jamie Kaler: in some way. Which I kind of like because I'm a huge fan of character actors like Stephen Root, uh, Stephen Tobolowsky, like all these guys who are in all these movies and you're like, like Jack Warden back in the day or William Fichtner, he's in everything. [00:33:21] Jamie Kaler: You're like, "I know that guy." those are the guys who I always wanted to be 'cause I never liked doing the same thing over and over again. I like changing, [00:33:27] Jamie Kaler: So [00:33:28] Adam Fishman: back to soccer dad for just a second. So as a soccer dad, I have two questions for you. First of all, what is wrong with parents on the sidelines? Why is it like it's like an embodiment of them on the field? [00:33:40] Jamie Kaler: They're delusional. and I would argue they're living vicariously. But I also, I will say as far as soccer goes especially I think they're not calling it tight enough because every game I see, elbows are up. even girls soccer, I think it's, it's a little physical. And I always think of the beautiful game of like Brazil and Argentina as opposed to England where they'll just run you over. [00:34:02] Jamie Kaler: Even then you're like, "Dude, this is a World Cup. Can-- Control yourself for two seconds. Don't headbutt the guy and get red carded." but I see these girls and, you know, Claire, we just played in a tournament this past weekend, They were 11 years old. [00:34:13] Jamie Kaler: There was a girl on the other team who was my height. I'm six feet tall. I go, "There's no way that kid's 11." She could kick the ball the length of the field. [00:34:20] Jamie Kaler: And [00:34:20] Adam Fishman: her driver's license? [00:34:21] Jamie Kaler: but you know what I did check? I checked the other s- the other sideline, and I didn't see anybody my height. And I'm like, "Where is that... [00:34:28] Jamie Kaler: kid have a pituitary gland problem? What's happening that this kid..." But that's the truth, and you can't coach speed and you can't coach size, man. You can teach a kid to trap the ball and kick it, but at some point you're either fast and big or you're not. You know? Like Messi's small, but he's fast and he is very elusive. [00:34:48] Jamie Kaler: and he controls the ball like a freak. But then you get Harry Kane who's like, whatever, 6'6", 6'7", and you're like, "I can't guard that guy. He's going up and get it [00:34:56] Jamie Kaler: above me." [00:34:57] Jamie Kaler: the parents are delusional to the point where they really think that kid... I look at the parent, I go, "Dude, you're 5'7". [00:35:04] Jamie Kaler: They're not playing D1. You're gonna be lucky if they play in high school." Have you seen the new thing now? They-- What, here's what they're doing. They're reclassing is what it's called. Have you heard of that? [00:35:12] Adam Fishman: No. Tell me about it [00:35:13] Jamie Kaler: After eighth grade, this is what a lot of parents are doing. they're homeschooling their child [00:35:18] Jamie Kaler: for one year and then starting them as a freshman in high school. [00:35:22] Jamie Kaler: they're holding them back. one year to go so they physically can develop one year, and they'll homeschool them and put them into like private coaching. And I, it's, it's not just one or two. [00:35:32] Jamie Kaler: It's very prevalent where we are. And some of the high schools around us, I mean, pro prospects are coming out of Notre Dame High School. the freshman on the team just made the under 15 national team, [00:35:45] Jamie Kaler: they are freaks of nature. I have gone to see... I was watching tryouts one day and then the guy told me, he goes, Oh no, that's not for high school. [00:35:53] Jamie Kaler: Those are eighth graders." And I was like, "I'm sorry, what?" Kid was throwing the football like 60 yards. I was like-- Like tight spiral. I was like, "Jesus, [00:36:01] Jamie Kaler: man." the other thing is where I live, there's a lot of professional athletes, and so you see their kids and you're like... Look at the NBA. [00:36:10] Jamie Kaler: Steph Curry's father's Dell Curry. Like [00:36:12] Jamie Kaler: they're all [00:36:13] Adam Fishman: Yeah, LeBron James plays with his son on [00:36:15] Adam Fishman: the Lakers, right? Like it's not even fair. [00:36:18] Jamie Kaler: It's not, it's so, it's, you know, I used to d- I think I have one bit on my soccer dad thing about, "Hey, just a heads up, your kid's not going pro. It's called genetics. Look at yourself in the mirror and think for a second, could you create a professional athlete?" No, I've met quite a few professional athletes. They are not built the same. I met Ferguson Jenkins, who was, I don't know if you remember him, he's a Hall of Fame pitcher, and yet he was on the Red Sox for a bit, and I was a huge Red Sox fan. And when we were doing "My Boys," we had a couple episodes where we had a bunch of, like Hall of Famers on the show. [00:36:51] Jamie Kaler: Bill Buckner was there, and it was crazy. It was really fun. And, uh, but I met Ferguson Jenkins, and he went to shake my hand, and his hand went around my hand Like I had a little girl's hand. His fingers were so long, [00:37:05] Jamie Kaler: and his legs were long. And so you could just see the bulk and you're like, Yeah, of course." [00:37:10] Jamie Kaler: Yeah. [00:37:11] Jamie Kaler: If I played two games in a row, like I have to warm up three days to play golf. Like my back is not gonna get [00:37:16] Jamie Kaler: through this. [00:37:17] Adam Fishman: like an ice bath [00:37:18] Jamie Kaler: Yeah. And John Stockton played, he ne- I don't think he missed a game in 17 years. [00:37:22] Adam Fishman: No. Yeah. [00:37:23] Jamie Kaler: he, missed one game. [00:37:24] Adam Fishman: Nolan Ryan used to throw 200 pitches in a game and then go like bale hay for six hours [00:37:29] Jamie Kaler: Yes. [00:37:29] Jamie Kaler: Like when they have Country Strong on them. The other day I had to put on compression socks to walk down the stairs. I was like, "I'm gonna, I'm not gonna make it. I'm, my, my legs are killing me." These people are built differently. And so when I see these parents, I just want to go, "Dude, let it go." [00:37:43] Jamie Kaler: And here's the other thing. I, you know, if your kid's that good, it doesn't matter. you could pick it up in high school. And if you're that much of a freak, be it. [00:37:54] Jamie Kaler: But these kids are, they're playing like 12-- And they're picking their one sport, you know. And so we've been, we've been really made a concerted effort to go, "All Right. you're playing soccer, that's your sport, but we're doing a VNSO basketball season here." [00:38:07] Jamie Kaler: she's doing golf lessons. She did volleyball last year. I'm always like, "Go have fun." [00:38:13] Jamie Kaler: Just have fun." [00:38:14] Adam Fishman: totally. have you ever had a [00:38:16] Adam Fishman: sideline incident, uh, on the soccer field or as a spectator? [00:38:21] Jamie Kaler: oh yeah, I got red carded as a coach. [00:38:23] Adam Fishman: Oh, as a coach. Oh, [00:38:25] Jamie Kaler: Yeah, [00:38:26] Jamie Kaler: like I'm always cracking jokes on the sideline, even about the kids. I'm like, "Nice trap, jackass." You know, like, which is terrible. I'm ter- I'm-- That's why I stopped coaching. [00:38:34] Jamie Kaler: I was like, "I can't do this." I was screaming at them, "What are you doing? Why would you do that? That's insane." And then everyone's like, "Well, she's, she's nine years old." I go, Oh, okay. All right. Fair enough. All right, she's nine." This is crazy. I'm coaching with another guy. I'm the only as- I only take the assistant coach 'cause I don't wanna do any paperwork, but I like doing drills and playing with the kids and, and, you know, trying to teach them some stuff. [00:38:56] Jamie Kaler: we get to the game the main ref was 12 years old. It was crazy. I didn't care. The girls were like nine or whatever, and but they had l- they were letting a 12-year-old ref the game. but the other coach lost his mind, and he goes and he complains about it, and they, he almost gets into a fight with the people who are running the place. [00:39:13] Jamie Kaler: And he's like, "I won't do it. There's no [00:39:14] Jamie Kaler: way I'm letting my daughter get refereed by a 12-year-old." And they're, they're coming to blows, and finally the place goes, "Fine. Fine. You know what? Fine. Yes, we'll change him out." And so they change him out and they put this adult man in the ref, and they make the kid go to the sideline judge where he's the offsides guy or whatever. [00:39:32] Jamie Kaler: And we're all like, "Great. This is fine." And then we find out that the dude they put in the position of the referee was the kid's father. And you know they probably had breakfast that morning and the father was like, "You're gonna coa- You're gonna ref your first [00:39:45] Adam Fishman: Yeah. You could do it, buddy. [00:39:47] Jamie Kaler: It's a big step for you." and we are the ones who actually put the kibosh on this kid's referee career. And so all of a sudden, the game starts, every call I'm like, "Wow. Really?" Like, he is murdering us. Like, "Wow, okay." And so it's getting chippier and chippier because the calls are just insane. [00:40:06] Jamie Kaler: one girl on our team who hadn't scored the whole season dribbles down and scores, and he calls her offsides. I explode on this dude. I get red carded immediately. [00:40:17] Jamie Kaler: My daughter is crying. [00:40:19] Jamie Kaler: I have to leave I immediately have to fold my chair up. Like, [00:40:24] Jamie Kaler: " Hey!" [00:40:24] Jamie Kaler: We're still like three minutes in the game and I'm like, "I'll be..." And he goes, "You can't be on the field. You have to leave the field." And my daughter's still playing in the game, and I'm like [00:40:34] Jamie Kaler: "Bye-bye." It was pretty embarrassing. I felt pretty bad, But he ends up turning, he reverses the call, and they give the, they allow the goal. He ends up talking to the line judge or something, and everyone was like, "No, he, she was on side." And they give the girl the goal. But I get red-carded. I'm out for the next week. As we're leaving, I guess the other ref, I didn't even know this, but the other, uh, coach almost gets into a fight in the parking lot with one of the, one of the people in charge, he gets kicked out for the rest of the season. [00:41:05] Jamie Kaler: And if you get red-carded, you can't coach the next week. And so the next week, we don't have a coach. both of us are gone. And so there's supposed to be another game and, uh, I can't even go to it. They won't let me go to the game. And you know who was really pissed? my wife, because she had to go to the game now because I couldn't go. And She's like-- This was like a Saturday 8:00 AM game, too. She was livid. [00:41:23] Adam Fishman: She's like "You asshole." [00:41:24] Jamie Kaler: Yeah. And so we had to write letters, and we had to go through this whole rigmarole. [00:41:31] Jamie Kaler: I really felt terrible about exploding. [00:41:33] Jamie Kaler: And I also was kind of messed up by the pandemic, and I was pretty chippy. And I, I was, I commented way more than I should have. Uh, but a lot of times it would get a laugh, like the parents would be rolling, laughing, 'cause I had a lot of biting sarcasm. And the ref would be like, "Hey, hey, hey, tone it down." [00:41:51] Jamie Kaler: And I go, "Okay." And as soon as he said that, I toned it down. But I was, I'm pretty mouthy. [00:41:56] Jamie Kaler: I'm a comic. like I was doing play-by-play. And, uh, some people enjoyed it, some people not so much. [00:42:02] Adam Fishman: Um, so [00:42:05] Adam Fishman: is it things [00:42:09] Adam Fishman: like Soccer Dad and having kids and being a stay-at-home dad for, you know, a decade that pulled you back into doing comedy? 'Cause you're back doing standup again, right? Like [00:42:16] Jamie Kaler: know, I had always done it. I mean, during the pandemic we were shut down, and so I didn't do it. I always kind of gut back up. I go through phases. especially with the business the way it is now, there's just not as much acting work. You know, it's all condensed and a lot of it's not in LA. [00:42:30] Jamie Kaler: And, um, I'll still go shoot stuff here and there, but I still always have this creative outlet. I-- It's not just Soccer Dad on my Instagram page. I have the Neighborhood Takeover I do. I've been doing Teddy Talks with my mini goldendoodle. So I'm always trying to do something creative the problem is you can't shut your brain off [00:42:49] Jamie Kaler: I'll wake up at 3:00 in the morning and go, "Oh, That's a funny joke," and I'll write it down and, and do something. Yeah [00:42:54] Jamie Kaler: even I'm up tomorrow night at Flappers. I get up a bunch, and so I'm starting to do touring in the fall. I'll be at the, uh, Punch Line in San Francisco, Sacramento Punch [00:43:03] Adam Fishman: Oh, maybe we'll come see you in SF. That's close to where I live. So [00:43:07] Jamie Kaler: Yes. Oh, please do. [00:43:08] Jamie Kaler: Please [00:43:08] Jamie Kaler: do. November, 10th, which is kind of Veterans Day weekend. It's actually, uh, midweek. I used to headline that place and all these other places I headlined, and now I'm trying to get back in and all the places are like, "Who are, who are you again? [00:43:21] Jamie Kaler: the problem is nowadays too, everything's about numbers. And so, you know, you're like, you don't wanna be famous, but you wanna be, you wanna have some numbers because you won't get booked otherwise. Like everything is numbers related. It used to be the club, you know, they would book you and then they would help promote you and you would do morning radio, and you just knew that club was pretty solid and you would go there or whatever. [00:43:42] Jamie Kaler: But nowadays they're like rental spaces. I feel bad for them, and they have no choice. They end up having to put up, you know, influencers and YouTube stars who probably aren't the best stand-up comics, but can sell. It's about selling tickets, and I totally understand that. And that's, it's a business at the end of the day. [00:43:58] Jamie Kaler: But, you know, I end up doing so many shows now where it's like people go, "Oh, you're really funny. Have you been doing stand-up a while?" And you're like, Yeah. [00:44:04] Jamie Kaler: I've been doing it for a long time." And [00:44:05] Jamie Kaler: they go, "Ah." Pretty much. And so, you know, there is something to be said for that 10-year hiatus. And I talk about it in the act of like, I took 10 years off basically. [00:44:14] Jamie Kaler: Even though I did put, I put an album out. Even that album I wrote in a vacuum and then I ran it one, one weekend at the La Jolla Comedy Store with notes all over the place. And then I recorded it in front of all the parents from my kids' school. I brought them out. I, I rented a studio out of [00:44:28] Jamie Kaler: here, sat them in this recording studio, like maybe 75 of them, and then just set up a couple cameras and mics and recorded the thing. [00:44:37] Jamie Kaler: It's on iTunes and Apple and everywhere else. That became my album. And also that was the first time all the parents had been out after the pandemic. [00:44:44] Adam Fishman: Oh, Is [00:44:45] Adam Fishman: that home-- [00:44:45] Adam Fishman: Is that Happy Father Days or [00:44:47] Adam Fishman: homeschooled? Which one [00:44:48] Jamie Kaler: homeschooled. Homeschooled is the first one, it's the second one. And people were hammered first time people had been like amongst other parents for a long time. [00:44:58] Jamie Kaler: And so it was, I think I cried at the end of it. I was like, [00:45:02] Jamie Kaler: 'cause it was so cathartic. all the jokes in it are about homeschooling my two kids and losing my mind, and I really lost my mind. It was, a heart of darkness in it [00:45:13] Jamie Kaler: and got a lot off my chest. I felt a lot better [00:45:15] Jamie Kaler: after [00:45:16] Adam Fishman: Well, I think you've described standup as a form of therapy in some ways, right? [00:45:20] Jamie Kaler: I tell my wife that all the time because, you know, she'll be super anxious and I'll go like, "Look, this, this is my therapy. I get up on stage and yeah, and I tell crazy stories." Because most of my stuff's autobiographical anyway. I'm not really like a set-up punchline, uh, Rodney Dangerfield. It's more like, uh, "You're not gonna believe what my kid did." [00:45:37] Jamie Kaler: most of my stuff is parenting A lot of it now is about technology. You know, I have jokes about that where it's like, "Hey man," I, 'cause I grew up without a cellphone. You know, when I was a kid, if You went to a concert and you lost your friends, you made new friends. That's how that shit went. Yeah. and you're off and running, and that's, so I have a whole block about that. [00:45:56] Jamie Kaler: And so it really, the kids have been, I mean, a wealth of material, I [00:46:01] Jamie Kaler: would say [00:46:02] Adam Fishman: What do your daughters think about you doing standup about your life? Like, they're getting to that age where this is gonna be cringe-worthy stuff right, for them? Or are they excited about it? [00:46:13] Jamie Kaler: it's funny you say that 'cause I was doing "The Parents Lounge" with my pal Jason Gowan, who's another amazing comic, we were doing this parenting podcast and show, and we still do it? [00:46:22] Jamie Kaler: live here and there. but it got to a point where I told him, I was like, "Look, my, my girls are at an age where they, they don't really want me talking about their lives." [00:46:32] Jamie Kaler: And I understood that 'cause I'll-- You know, you'll see some woman get out and, like, say something really personal about her child online, and you're like, I wouldn't do that, [00:46:42] Jamie Kaler: dude." Like, most of mine are pretty good, Sometimes the kids will be like, "Please don't, please don't mention that." [00:46:47] Jamie Kaler: I mean, the problem is, is that we are creating our child's online personality to a degree. I tell my kids, I go, "The internet's forever." You know, it's a hard thing to teach a kid to go like, "I'm telling you, you think just because you're not sharing that picture, it's on your phone, which means it's in the cloud, which means you don't own it. [00:47:05] Adam Fishman: I wanna talk about technology with a 12-year-old. So you mentioned that you just got your daughter a phone, your [00:47:11] Adam Fishman: 12-year-old a phone. You've described yourself to me as a contrarian. [00:47:14] Adam Fishman: Uh, everything is contrarian. what's your hot take on the phone? did you go through the machinations of like, "Should we do this? Should we not do this? What's the right age?" [00:47:22] Jamie Kaler: We did. We, we held out for as long as we could. And we actually, I remember two years ago, we signed a pledge, all the parents, that said we weren't gonna get The kids a phone till high school [00:47:30] Jamie Kaler: Other parents didn't do it. You know what? Here's how it breaks. Uh, it's usually a divorced couple, which I totally get, because the parent is like, "Well, I'm not gonna see her for a week, so here's a phone." [00:47:43] Jamie Kaler: And I totally understand that, but unfortunately then that kid has a phone. And it is a status symbol to not have a phone. And so my daughter, there was only three or four of them left in the class who didn't have a phone, and some of the kids are like on TikTok and Snapchat, and I wanna yell at the parents and go, "Dude, what are you doing?" [00:48:02] Jamie Kaler: And listen, some kids are fine. They're not gonna have a problem with it. But at that. age, you should not be brought into that world. Honestly, I, I think it's the worst thing That's ever happened. I think someday years from now they'll look back and that will be the beginning of the end of like, "What are we doing?" [00:48:18] Jamie Kaler: Do you know there's more bots online now than there are humans? [00:48:21] Jamie Kaler: And AI is getting to a point where, you won't be able to tell. [00:48:26] Jamie Kaler: And so you'll see the President of the United States or somebody in a video saying, "I've just launched nuclear weapons. Get under the desk." [00:48:36] Jamie Kaler: And you're gonna be like, "Whoa! That-- What? Wait, is that..." And people who have maybe nefarious thoughts are gonna be able to, lead people in a way that is going to be detrimental to society I think, I really do. we talk about that on our podcast a lot about "My Boys," 'cause we're watching episodes, and this is only 20 years ago. [00:48:59] Jamie Kaler: "My Boys" was out 20 years ago. And the episode is like, in one of them there's a joke where it's like, "What are you doing the texting thing like the kids?" And you're like, like exponentially. And one of the girls, uh, Calais' character she's on match.com, and everyone's like, "Wait, what? You're online dating?" [00:49:17] Jamie Kaler: And now when I do standup, If you ask any couple in the crowd how they met, they go, "We met online. We [00:49:22] Jamie Kaler: met online." Nobody meets in public anymore because here's the thing, if you meet in public and you're at an office and you have an office relationship, you're both fired. [00:49:30] Jamie Kaler: I always equate it to, uh, when you go to a restaurant, if it's just a simple menu and there's a handful of items, you're like, Yeah. I chose this place 'cause it's this type of food and I like this and this is my pick." But then you go to that one restaurant where they literally serve every item, [00:49:44] Adam Fishman: Yeah. Cheesecake [00:49:45] Adam Fishman: Factory. [00:49:46] Jamie Kaler: Yeah [00:49:47] Jamie Kaler: You're like, it's like an encyclopedia and you're like, "Okay, well, I'm gonna have the pancakes. She's gonna have the moo goo gai pan. And you're like, "Dude, by the way, how big is the kitchen? Where, how are you making all these different items?" And it's just the human mind is we like simple things and we also like routines. [00:50:09] Jamie Kaler: with my kids, they're gonna s- remember me as very military because I think when somebody has a routine, they're on a path and it's going well. And then some nights, you know, the other night my wife had the kids out to dinner and it was a school night and they were like [00:50:21] Jamie Kaler: out till 10:00 and I was texting her, I go, "You know the kids have school tomorrow. [00:50:25] Jamie Kaler: You know they have school tomorrow, right?" This is a train wreck. You know what the worst thing is? Three-day weekend. [00:50:30] Jamie Kaler: The three-day weekend, it seems like it's great, but by that, by the day they come back, they're like, it's like they'd never gone to school [00:50:35] Jamie Kaler: before. [00:50:36] Adam Fishman: they're like wild animals. [00:50:37] Jamie Kaler: They're like, "What's, what is this school thing you talked about?" [00:50:41] Jamie Kaler: You went last Friday. You don't remember? It's Tuesday. That's not, it hasn't been, it's been three days. But for some reason, man,their brains can't grasp. So I'm, I'm very regimented about schedules and time. Like every day 6:30, reveille, it goes off and I'm like, "Here we go." [00:50:57] Jamie Kaler: And then we'll make breakfast, and then I like to be out the door by 7:30. even this, I was five minutes early. [00:51:02] Jamie Kaler: I'm always, [00:51:04] Jamie Kaler: I saw a video. You were like v- recording yourself at the field. You're like, "It's 7:30 in the morning. We're here. We're the only people at the field." I feel the same way. Like, I am the dad who's like, "They said we need to be there an hour early, so we're gonna be there an hour early." [00:51:17] Adam Fishman: You get there [00:51:17] Adam Fishman: an hour early, you look around, no one else is [00:51:19] Adam Fishman: there. No one else on the team. [00:51:21] Adam Fishman: It's like a, it's like a curse, [00:51:23] Jamie Kaler: I'm starting to push it. I'm getting better at, at being a little, uh [00:51:25] Jamie Kaler: light on time and being like, "All right, how about, what about 45 minutes early?" And so I'm, I'm trying, but it's-- That's my own, even at my age, I'm trying to go, like, chill. [00:51:36] Jamie Kaler: those kids, I've probably caused a lot of anxiety in their system of like, "You are late. [00:51:41] Jamie Kaler: Where are You Get in the car." [00:51:43] Adam Fishman: You know, my dad did that to me. I have to get to the airport like three hours early for a flight because it was drilled into me as a kid. [00:51:51] Jamie Kaler: Me too. Me too. My father would show up like, I go, "When's the flight?" He goes, "It's tomorrow. The flight's [00:51:56] Adam Fishman: Right, we're staying at the airport overnight. [00:51:57] Jamie Kaler: I was telling somebody, I posted something about this the other day. This is my least favorite thing of parenting now is I can't stay up late enough to put my 12-year-old to bed. [00:52:05] Adam Fishman: [00:52:05] Jamie Kaler: I'm super tired, and all of a sudden it's 9:30 and I'm like, "Hey man, I'm going down." And she goes, "Go ahead." And I go, "No, no, you, you're going down." [00:52:13] Jamie Kaler: But she would stay up till like 2:00 in the morning, which I feared, I fear that this summer's gonna be more like that. She turns 13 this year. [00:52:20] Jamie Kaler: I remember when I was 13, I was up super late watching Saturday Night Live or whatever. [00:52:25] Jamie Kaler: I was, Yeah. I was up super late. I'm trying to come to terms with that too, of like, I'm always like, "Just go in your room." [00:52:30] Jamie Kaler: That's all [00:52:30] Adam Fishman: The good news though [00:52:32] Adam Fishman: is she'll sleep in until like 11:30 the next day, so you'll be fine. She'll make up for the sleep. Don't worry about [00:52:37] Jamie Kaler: Here's my solution to that. She's getting up. [00:52:40] Jamie Kaler: there's no way I'm letting her sleep until 11:00. No chance. [00:52:43] Jamie Kaler: Even though I used to do that. I used to do that. Especially in high school after I started [00:52:47] Jamie Kaler: imbibing [00:52:48] Adam Fishman: right, so tell me about your wife's obsession with ChatGPT. Have you been replaced with a sentient robot? [00:52:54] Jamie Kaler: It's so funny. It's like she has a deaf spot in her hearing at the exact range of my voice. Like, I'll sit like, like right across from her and say like, "Hey, what are, what are we doing after school?" I'll go, "Do you hear a word I'm saying?" Nothing, just blank. But she does ChatGPT. [00:53:09] Jamie Kaler: She'll ask it questions all the time. And honestly, [00:53:13] Jamie Kaler: I gotta be honest, [00:53:14] Jamie Kaler: some of the answers are pretty good. [00:53:15] Jamie Kaler: Yeah. I just don't use it that much, but I'm coming around to it because even the other day, oh my God, my, my refrigerator. This is crazy. We had a smell in the kitchen. [00:53:28] Jamie Kaler: You know when you have that rotten milk smell and you're like literally you smell in the drain, you're smelling everywhere. I'm smelling under the refrigerator. So I get down and I look under the refrigerator and it is, it's like a zombie apocalypse down there. And it is it is gruesome. And so my buddy's over and I go, "You know what? [00:53:45] Jamie Kaler: You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna pull the fridge out. I'm cleaning up under here." So I pull the fridge out and when we found, [00:53:50] Jamie Kaler: it was horrifying. [00:53:51] Adam Fishman: Yeah [00:53:52] Jamie Kaler: and y- you almost needed a chisel to scrape some of it up. It was horrifying. I'm pouring boiling water on it, trying to clean up under [00:53:58] Jamie Kaler: the [00:53:59] Adam Fishman: this is how those like, uh, uh, zombie apocalypse start actually. [00:54:02] Adam Fishman: Somebody cuts their finger and touches [00:54:04] Jamie Kaler: right. That's right. That's Right. [00:54:07] Jamie Kaler: There was a monkey living back there who bit me, by the way, but I think, I think it's-- I think I'm gonna be fine. It's not a big deal. Uh, so I clean it, I put the whole refrigerator, slide it back in, Right. And then all of a sudden, the next day, I go down and the refrigerator's off. [00:54:22] Jamie Kaler: It's not working. And there's a code OF on the front of, you know, 'cause the electronic panels. And so I pull it out again and I'm like, "Is everything connected? What's happening? Is it plugged in?" I unplug it, I plug it back in, I unplug it, I plug it back in. It keeps saying off. [00:54:37] Jamie Kaler: Everything's melted. All The ice cream's melted. Everything in the fridge is kind of dying This is my reward for cleaning under the refrigerator. I'm gonna have to drop $2,500 on a new refrigerator that also plays music or something. I don't know. So I finally put it back in and OF. [00:54:50] Jamie Kaler: And so I go online and I Google exactly what just happened with that model or whatever, and it said, "Oh, you got the OF code." And I go, "Yeah." And it goes, "Here's what you do." I had to press three buttons [00:55:07] Jamie Kaler: simultaneously for eight seconds. Which you were like, [00:55:13] Jamie Kaler: you [00:55:13] Jamie Kaler: would [00:55:13] Jamie Kaler: never! This was the last thing on earth I would have ever thought. [00:55:17] Jamie Kaler: But, It's like, I press those three buttons for eight seconds and the thing goes and clicks right back [00:55:23] Adam Fishman: Oh my God. It's like Mission Impossible. Insert keys, turn simultaneously. [00:55:29] Jamie Kaler: it [00:55:30] Jamie Kaler: had frozen, shut because there, there was puddles. It had puddled under the fridge, and so then that all froze and now one of the drawers I couldn't get open 'cause it f- 'cause I set it super high to get it cold again. [00:55:42] Jamie Kaler: at some point you're like, home ownership, [00:55:44] Adam Fishman: It's for the birds [00:55:45] Jamie Kaler: it is for the birds. Yeah, our garage door broke finally. Yeah, we've lived in the house f- 15 years, [00:55:52] Jamie Kaler: and all of a sudden you're like, "Yeah, I'm bleeding money [00:55:54] Adam Fishman: it always breaks when you're like getting ready to go out of town. The door's like propped open. You're like, "God damn it." [00:56:00] Jamie Kaler: I learned a valuable lesson that way, to make sure You turn the hose off at the house. Because one time years ago, You know? [00:56:09] Jamie Kaler: how you leave it on and then it's just in the handle, but it's still off, but it's on. And because it got to be like 112 degrees, the hose burst. [00:56:18] Jamie Kaler: And we were gone for like two days, and we came home [00:56:20] Jamie Kaler: The hose had been running. I think the bill was like $1,500 or something. [00:56:23] Adam Fishman: the underside of your fridge. [00:56:25] Jamie Kaler: Yeah. It was horrific. Every day is something new with the f*cking yard, man, where you're like, "It's crazy." [00:56:32] Adam Fishman: I wanna ask you about parent group texts. So are you in, like, a, a group text or anything? And have you ever been kicked out or asked to leave a group text? Like, I don't know if you drop, like, unhinged parenting rants or [00:56:47] Jamie Kaler: I have not. I usually do have biting sarcastic jokes that gets a lot of hahas on it. I'll do that. but I have left group texts of my own volition because sometimes when I'm shooting like a Soccer Dad thing and there's a group text going, it's like blip, blip [00:57:09] Jamie Kaler: my wife's in numerous ones, and she talks about it all the time where it's a full day. [00:57:14] Jamie Kaler: These women are planning, like, a birthday party, and there's 17,000 text messages back and forth. And my wife's, you know, she's got a full-time job. She's trying to work. Like, she's like, "These stay-at-home moms are, like, trying to-- They got this crazy text chain going." [00:57:26] Jamie Kaler: And so we silence it. I'll silence them. Here's the one good thing about being an old dad is they go, they go, "Ah, Jamie doesn't understand it," or whatever. But I, I do, but I'm just like, "I don't know what's happening here." And then I, I pretend that I go, I just ignore it. [00:57:40] Jamie Kaler: But they are annoying, for sure. I have some friend ones that are, you know, typically just biting j- like comedy, which are pretty funny. But for the most part, like, some guy will try to text me over and over again about information, and I'll call. Like, I go, "Dude, I could, I could sit for 20 minutes and rewrite this text and try to get all this information to you, or we could talk for 20 [00:58:03] Jamie Kaler: seconds." But I'll call, he won't pick up, and then I'll get a text that, "Yo man, what do you want?" [00:58:09] Adam Fishman: or they answer and they're surprised. They're like, [00:58:12] Jamie Kaler: Yeah [00:58:12] Jamie Kaler: Yeah. [00:58:13] Jamie Kaler: Or that. And they're like, "Wait, why are you calling me?" Because I don't wanna t- I'm driving and I don't wanna type at the stoplight for 35 minutes. So, [00:58:21] Jamie Kaler: I'm still a big verbal person. And I also, I think in the future, it's the one thing that I think humans are going to be judged on more so than anything else. [00:58:32] Jamie Kaler: Because I think with the kids texting and all this stuff, they're losing their ability-- Like, we've had a real problem with my kids not being able to talk to teachers and people in power. [00:58:43] Jamie Kaler: And so, I'll talk to my daughter and be like, "Hey, you got this grade, this, it says incomplete. What happened?" She goes, "Oh, I, I did that." [00:58:51] Jamie Kaler: And I go, "Well, you need to talk to your teacher." "Oh, I don't know about that." "No, you-- Yes. [00:58:55] Jamie Kaler: people will bend over backwards to help you. [00:58:58] Jamie Kaler: But you have to communicate that to them. And if you don't, they're not gonna go out of their way and go, "Hey, did you need help?" I have a big thing about showing up too. I always tell, like even today, this, this is our last week of school and they're like, "Why are we even going to school today? [00:59:09] Jamie Kaler: We're just gonna watch a movie." I go, "You're showing up, dude. Just show up." I think that's one of the biggest things for success is show up and be nice and talk to people. I learned that on 3,000 different sets [00:59:22] Jamie Kaler: for acting shows, you know, of like-- I'm not even that good of an actor. I just was, I'm fun in the room. I booked, I probably booked a ton of jobs 'cause I was funny in the, [00:59:31] Jamie Kaler: room. I'm [00:59:32] Adam Fishman: the, you're the locker room guy. Like you got the good [00:59:34] Adam Fishman: presence, right? [00:59:35] Jamie Kaler: in the locker room, man. I'm really good in the locker room. Yeah. 'cause I do stand-up. So a lot of times I would go into an audition and people would be like, " How's it going?" And a lot of people would be like, Yeah. it's good. [00:59:47] Jamie Kaler: It's good." But I'd be like, "Ugh, you're not gonna believe what happened on the way over here." And then I'm off and running, and I tell some insane story and they're rolling laughing before I even, uh, read the lines. I think humor especially is a big way of likability, and I think it's a big way to succeed in life. [01:00:05] Jamie Kaler: And so I try to teach that to my children, but it's a tough era because they are so dictated by this that it's hard for them to express. So we've done improv classes and, public speaking stuff for them to try to get them to do that, which I, I [01:00:18] Jamie Kaler: think is super helpful. [01:00:19] Adam Fishman: Yeah. all right, couple things before we wrap for lightning round, which I think is gonna be fun. so you're doing this podcast, you and Mike, uh, Boonin, uh, about My Boys. You guys go back and you're rewatching episode by episode through the whole canon. [01:00:33] Adam Fishman: [01:00:33] Adam Fishman: what's the strangest part of watching, like, you know, younger you, do this? [01:00:40] Adam Fishman: Like, or is [01:00:40] Jamie Kaler: just how bad I was. It's so funny. Mike and I laugh 'cause each episode I'm like, "Oh, I can't-- Why would I act like that?" But it, was, you know, we were sitcom acting. [01:00:50] Jamie Kaler: I'm usually pretty good at watching myself and, I can watch my standup and, and like adjust and go like, "Oh Yeah [01:00:57] Jamie Kaler: I should say this," andand I like watching playback when I shoot. [01:01:01] Jamie Kaler: I'll go look at the monitor and it's more for angles and composition of what I'm doing more so than performance. But with "My Boys" it's been, I'm so broad in it. I'm like the crazy wacky guy who's drinking and, you know, and it's like, uh, sometimes I'm, you know, I've had a few where I'm like, "Oh, that was pretty good." [01:01:19] Jamie Kaler: And also here's the other thing, I don't, I don't remember any of it. Neither does Mike and neither do any of the guests who've been on. Kyle Howard was on, Reid Scott, and everyone to a person was like, "I don't, I don't remember any of this." Because you would get a script on Monday, you'd shoot it all week, then that's gone out of your head. [01:01:34] Jamie Kaler: And then you would get a new script on Monday, which was fantastic. It's kind of been interesting because I'm like, "Ooh, I wonder how this story ends." And it's me talking and I'm like, "I have no idea what's about to happen." [01:01:46] Adam Fishman: what's your favorite, like, behind-the-scenes story of your time on "My Boys"? [01:01:51] Jamie Kaler: I mean, just the camaraderie and the friendship, I would argue. And also, you know, there was something about the comfortability of being an actor, 'cause I'd only been a guest before that. I'd done a, you know, a few episodes. Like, I would go back to "Will & Grace" a bunch of times, and that was a big deal to go back to people going, "Hey, man, we liked you so much, bring you back." [01:02:12] Jamie Kaler: And all of a sudden, when you're a series regular and you're, you know, you're getting paid series regular rate, and people are recognizing you for that show. And I think also because it was the four guys, five guys with Gaffigan and Mike Dion and Reid Scott and Kyle Howard, there was a real chemistry, and we kinda had this tribe, You just felt safe I was never gonna have kids, ever. I was in a rent-controlled apartment down by the beach with a bank full of money, and I was like, "How do I stop this?" for some reason, I felt so comfortable with what I was doing in my career that I was like, Yeah [01:02:48] Jamie Kaler: And I met the Right. [01:02:49] Jamie Kaler: girl, and, you know, I just could, I could envision it at that point. And I was always kind of a late bloomer anyway, so the age thing didn't really bother me. I just remember it being a such a special time in life because I felt like I could take a deep breath and relax, because for four years I did the show. [01:03:07] Jamie Kaler: And, you know, and then I would travel in the summer and go do stand-up, and I met my wife, and we cross-country dated for a couple years, and I was still doing the show, andI was very comfortable and, you know, living the life, and it was pretty great. And it also reached a point where it was like, I thought the challenge of having kids would be right at that time. [01:03:25] Jamie Kaler: And so I always, I always tell people, I go, "You know, don't go too late," but, why have kids at 21? Whatever you're gonna do in your life, you should get a good hunk of it done before you have kids, 'cause otherwise... I know friends who've had kids who are super successful, but They were on the road and didn't spend that much time with those kids, didn't really see that kid grow up, and they are huge successful comics right now. [01:03:51] Jamie Kaler: they're still great dads and with their kids and stuff, but they weren't, home. they missed a lot of graduations. [01:03:57] Jamie Kaler: I think I've led such a crazy life in installments of, like, the Navy, and then I was bartender for, like, 10 years at that Irish pub while I was working. [01:04:06] Jamie Kaler: Then, you know, the comfortability of my boys, and then the next decade was me really watching kids. And now there's a little bit of each, where I still have the kids and, and we're pretty great and close, and I take care of them all the time, but I'm also, I can leave them home, [01:04:21] Jamie Kaler: which is the first time I could do that. [01:04:22] Jamie Kaler: And so even, like, tomorrow night they're gonna be home while I go do stand-up, and then I c [01:04:26] Adam Fishman: let's wrap up here before lightning round. Now, this episode I'm pretty sure is gonna drop as my 150th Startup Dad episode. So nope, no pressure, uh, by the way. [01:04:37] Adam Fishman: but I need it to be a big one. so I know you are not big on dispensing advice to dads, because you'd probably be the first to say that, like, you don't know what you're doing. [01:04:46] Adam Fishman: if you were handing out a piece of advice to a new dad, knowing that you have no idea what you're doing, like what is the one piece of advice you'd offer somebody who's about to go into this thing? [01:04:58] Jamie Kaler: that's a great question. I would say, you know that you don't know it all it was a learning experience for me. it's not quite a lightning round, but I hosted a political thing the other night. [01:05:09] Jamie Kaler: And so they had a debate, Right. wing versus r- left wing, and they went at it, and they all had their facts, and they were all s- dead sure of what was happening, and they both had pretty good facts, pretty good facts. And then the, it ended, and I went back up, and there was a big audience, and I was like, "Really quick, did anyone change their mind about anything?" [01:05:31] Jamie Kaler: Not one. Not one. person. Every person is so sure about what they know that they are incapable of change. And I think that's been one of my best attributes is that Listen, I always say I wish I didn't know everything. But I also say even when I'm 100% certain, I go, "Look, I might be wrong. I might be, but here's what I think about this." [01:05:56] Jamie Kaler: I had a friend and he goes, uh, he was flying to Vegas for a show, and he said, "I'm actually gonna drive out there and then just fly back." And I said to him, [01:06:03] Jamie Kaler: I think if you don't take the first leg of the flight, you lose the second leg of the flight." And he goes, that's not true." [01:06:10] Jamie Kaler: And I go, Okay. [01:06:13] Jamie Kaler: I don't know what to tell you. I'm telling you what I think, and I'm, I'm pretty much 100% sure that I know what's happening." [01:06:18] Jamie Kaler: but you know, you might wanna give them a call and just confirm or something." He goes, Yeah. [01:06:22] Jamie Kaler: Yeah. [01:06:22] Jamie Kaler: whatever." Like, totally downplayed it. And then he called me like a week later, he goes, Yeah [01:06:26] Jamie Kaler: I called them. [01:06:27] Jamie Kaler: You were right." And I go, I go, "Listen, I think it's a real problem nowadays that people live in a megaphone and they're just barraged with the information that reinforces what they already think, that they are not educated enough to go, it's the more education you have, the more you question what you know and, and you are open to more suggestions and go, "You know what? [01:06:49] Jamie Kaler: That is kind of an interesting point of view." And so even in politics, I go, you know, certain people aren't liked, but I go, "You know, but that's, that's a pretty good policy. I agree with that idea. That one's insane. That's pretty crazy." But I'm always like, who knows? We just had LA and you know, everyone's like, whether it was Pratt or whatever, that it was garbage or whatever. [01:07:10] Jamie Kaler: And I was like, "Look, can anyone fix it? I don't know. I don't, I don't think they can. I don't, but what do I know? I don't, I don't know. I don't know." So I think with our kids, I mean, my one piece of advice would be to be like, Just accept that you don't know everything, especially with kids, man, because the second [01:07:26] Jamie Kaler: some kid does something horribly wrong and then the parent gets arrested for something and you're like That could, that could really happen to anybody. [01:07:34] Adam Fishman: Mm-hmm [01:07:34] Jamie Kaler: don't know with these kids nowadays. They're, they're just doing crazy stuff. [01:07:37] Jamie Kaler: So be open to everything, I would say. [01:07:40] Adam Fishman: we're warming up for lightning round. before we get there, where can people follow along with you, find your live acts, like, you know, learn more about Who Needs, like all this [01:07:50] Jamie Kaler: Definitely come find me, Instagram and TikTok, uh, @jamiekaler, J-A-M-I-E K-A-L-E-R. Same on Facebook. Uh, pretty big followings there. And if you wanna get a Soccer Dad shirt or a Me Me Me hat or whatever else, then o-off of all those pages, I have a Linktree, and you can come hopefully see me live. I would love that. [01:08:11] Jamie Kaler: So [01:08:11] Jamie Kaler: I'm, I'm getting better at trying to put up my gigs, but my, uh, my Linktree's on all those [01:08:16] Jamie Kaler: sites. [01:08:17] Jamie Kaler: And, uh, jamiekaler.com also has all those connected to it as Well, [01:08:21] Adam Fishman: Awesome. Well, I will send everybody there, as many people as I can muster from this pod. So, [01:08:26] Adam Fishman: all right. Let's do quick lightning round. [01:08:28] Jamie Kaler: [01:08:28] Adam Fishman: here we go. Uh, true or false, there's only one correct way to load the dishwasher [01:08:33] Jamie Kaler: True. [01:08:34] Adam Fishman: Okay. Is it your [01:08:35] Jamie Kaler: And it's my way? [01:08:36] Adam Fishman: I knew it. I knew it. Uh, okay, what's your signature dad superpower? [01:08:42] Jamie Kaler: Uh, the ability to fall asleep exa- at any moment [01:08:48] Adam Fishman: What, what is your least favorite parenting task? [01:08:53] Jamie Kaler: Staying up late enough to put the kids to bed, literally, or getting, or getting them up and getting them to school. One of those two. But everything else, like I love cooking, I don't mind cleaning, I like all, I like playing with them. But just the getting them, getting them in the car with everything they need. [01:09:13] Jamie Kaler: When I've said, "Lay out your clothes the night before. Make a-- Get a water bottle. Where are your shin guards?" And then invariably we get in the car, she's like, "Where are my shoes?" I go, "Dude, you're killing me." So yes, getting kids into a car [01:09:25] Jamie Kaler: with everything they need [01:09:26] Adam Fishman: What is the crazier block of time in your house, 6:00 AM to 8:00 AM or 6:00 PM to 8:00 PM? [01:09:32] Jamie Kaler: probably the morning, 6:00 PM to 8:00. [01:09:35] Adam Fishman: Yeah. [01:09:36] Jamie Kaler: honestly pretty equal, and it's usually like that half hour, uh, after getting up and the half hour before going to bed, and [01:09:43] Adam Fishman: yep " [01:09:43] Jamie Kaler: Where's the Benadryl? Let me knock this kid out." [01:09:46] Adam Fishman: Kids, have we taken enough melatonin for this evening? [01:09:48] Jamie Kaler: yeah. [01:09:49] Adam Fishman: all right, what's the funniest thing that one of your kids has ever said in public? Funniest can also be maybe most embarrassing. [01:09:56] Jamie Kaler: I mean, a lot of it's in my act. [01:09:57] Adam Fishman: Oh, okay [01:09:59] Jamie Kaler: Even just maybe a while ago, I, I told-- I got really pissed at my daughter and I said, "Go to your room." And she goes, "No, you go to your room." And so I went to my room and I sat up there for like three hours and my wife came up. She goes, "What are you doing up here?" I go, "Tana- Hannah sent me to my room." [01:10:12] Jamie Kaler: I can't, I can't [01:10:13] Jamie Kaler: even. [01:10:14] Adam Fishman: amazing. [01:10:15] Jamie Kaler: This kid. [01:10:16] Jamie Kaler: I was, I was like, "Good for you. [01:10:18] Jamie Kaler: Nice. Ballsy." [01:10:19] Adam Fishman: Yeah. All right, what's your go-to dad wardrobe? [01:10:22] Jamie Kaler: Oh, dude, I am-- I never thought I'd be my father, but I have like, a, flannel shirt. Uh, honestly, like the four-pack of white T-shirts from Marshalls that is horribly stained and a pair. of basketball shorts [01:10:40] Jamie Kaler: and my Olukai slippers. I'm not wearing-- Ugh, I love Olukai slippers. [01:10:45] Jamie Kaler: And not to sponsor anybody, but Olukai slippers [01:10:48] Adam Fishman: All right. How many parenting books do you have in your house? [01:10:52] Jamie Kaler: I personally don't have any. [01:10:54] Jamie Kaler: Uh, but I will tell you a very quick story that when we first had kids, my wife made me-- I, I didn't do it, but she goes, "Here's the book I want you to read. It's called Bringing Up Bébé." And it's a French book. And in, and in France, the kids are not the main part of their life. [01:11:07] Jamie Kaler: And this was my wife's theory is that like, "Look, the kids are-- We're gonna live our lives and the kids are gonna kinda go where we go." And then immediately none of, nothing from that book was in our life. And I go, "What happened to that book?" And she goes, "That book was stupid." Not reading, I'll never since [01:11:21] Jamie Kaler: I read that [01:11:22] Adam Fishman: but here in the United States, that's not how we [01:11:24] Jamie Kaler: No, it, it should be called bringing up helicopter kids and, uh, yeah, snowplow kids [01:11:29] Adam Fishman: All right, what is, aside from your soccer rant, what is the most embarrassing thing you've ever done in front of your kids? [01:11:36] Jamie Kaler: you know what's funny? Everything. I embarrass my kids all the time deliberately because I think with social media, the trick is you have to prepare kids. And I've gone to a billion auditions where I have been humiliated, like bone-crushing. So I don't really get embarrassed about anything anymore. [01:11:55] Jamie Kaler: So nowadays, my daughter's 12, she was in seventh grade this whole year we were in church or something and, uh, she was with all of her kids and I walked in and it was very quiet and, uh, the whole school was there. And she looked up and she kind of looked away and I go, I waved to her and she just waved. [01:12:10] Jamie Kaler: She goes, "Go past, go past." And I go, "I love you so much, Hannah. I love you. You're the, you're everything in my life." And the whole place was breaking out laughing and I was like, "I love you so much. I love you." And I started fake crying. and then later she told me, she was, she was like so angry, and then later she told me, she goes, "I actually really liked it. [01:12:32] Jamie Kaler: I really like..." And I said, "Of course you did." Like, if you can't make people laugh, what are you doing, man? So for me, embarrassment, uh, as a comic especially, all my stories are horribly... Come see me. If you wanna feel good about your life, come see me tell some stories and you'll go, "Oh, my life's fantastic compared to that guy's [01:12:48] Adam Fishman: Yeah. Oh man, I mean, Jim Gaffigan has a whole book about this called Dad Is Fat, which is it's such a funny book. [01:12:55] Jamie Kaler: we did the years together on "My Boys," and I, when he first got cast, no, nobody else knew him in [01:13:00] Jamie Kaler: the cast. I still think Jim is one of the handful of greatest comedians who's ever lived. I've watched [01:13:06] Jamie Kaler: him do 90 minutes on bread, and you're like, "Dude." [01:13:08] Jamie Kaler: And then he even has that line of like, "How many more bread jokes can this guy do?" And then he does another 20. Uh, blindingly, like literally one of the greatest comics of all time. And Yeah. his parent... You know, that's what's crazy too. When we were all on "My Boys," none of us had kids. He had five. So we'd all have lunch and play ping pong and be goofing off, and Jim was in his trailer working his ass off because he knew he was trying to make money for five kids. [01:13:35] Jamie Kaler: And to his credit, the dude is like the hardest working guy [01:13:38] Jamie Kaler: on [01:13:38] Jamie Kaler: Earth. And then you see his standup and you're like, "It's, it's gold, man." [01:13:41] Adam Fishman: Yeah, yeah. All right, what is the most difficult kids TV show that you've had to sit through? [01:13:48] Jamie Kaler: I mean, Bluey is actually really good. [01:13:50] Jamie Kaler: It's been a long [01:13:51] Jamie Kaler: time since I've watched bad [01:13:55] Adam Fishman: Paw Patrol's up there on the, on the list for [01:13:57] Adam Fishman: other [01:13:57] Jamie Kaler: know what they're watching now, which is driving me absolutely insane, is "Full House." [01:14:01] Jamie Kaler: They're watching "Full House" on a loop. [01:14:03] Adam Fishman: original or the [01:14:04] Jamie Kaler: the [01:14:04] Jamie Kaler: original with Dave Coulier and Saget and, uh, John Stamos and, uh, [01:14:11] Jamie Kaler: And they're watching it and I'm like, "I can't." And I used to, I used to run a room in, in Santa Monica, and Saget came in one time 'cause, uh, Chris Hardwick used to do the show with us and Zach Galifianakis, Chelsea Handler, everyone was down there doing stand-up. Saget walks in one day and I go, "Dude, you gotta go on. [01:14:27] Jamie Kaler: You gotta go on." He goes, "I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't." He won't go on, he won't go on, he won't go on. He goes, finally he comes up, he goes, "I'll do five minutes. I'll do a tight [01:14:34] Jamie Kaler: five. I go, [01:14:35] Jamie Kaler: "Great." 30 minutes later, uh, and by the way, the filthiest [01:14:40] Jamie Kaler: act [01:14:40] Adam Fishman: he's raunchy. Yeah. [01:14:42] Jamie Kaler: you have ever seen where he's, like, talking about, like, "I'm gonna put you in a rabbit costume and try to feed you my carrot." [01:14:47] Jamie Kaler: Like, he is filthy, filthy, filthy. And so I can't e- I'm watching my kids watch him in "Full House," I'm, like, trying to tell them about the night that he-- And he wouldn't get off the stage and the band was waiting. There was a band after the comedy show, and the band's like, "Get this idiot off the stage." [01:15:00] Jamie Kaler: And Saget's just reeling it, but it was blindingly, like one of those special back of an Irish bar [01:15:06] Jamie Kaler: nights. It was crazy. So anyway [01:15:08] Adam Fishman: Amazing. All right. What's the worst experience you've ever had assembling a kid's toy or a piece of furniture? [01:15:13] Jamie Kaler: Oh, I got this. Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay. So listen, it's bad enough when you're up all night putting a princess castle together for your own child. But just recently, our friends had another baby who, uh, even when I was like, "Dude, what are you doing?" 'Cause he has kids my age, and then they just have a new baby that's like, you know, eight years after the previous one. And so my wife makes me. [01:15:34] Jamie Kaler: get him one of those like push carts. it's a race car with the handle in the back and the little pocket and the seatbelt or whatever. And so we buy it. We have this giant box, and then my wife goes, "You, you gotta build it." I go, "It's not my kids. I'm not building this stupid thing." [01:15:49] Jamie Kaler: And we had a huge fight, and she goes, "You're building it." And I go, "God, I'm not." And she goes, Yeah [01:15:52] Jamie Kaler: you know you're building it." And so I sat there for three hours and built this push cart for, not even for my own child. I was like, well, and the whole time I was fuming of like, "Why am I building this?" [01:16:06] Adam Fishman: Yeah. [01:16:06] Jamie Kaler: later he did thank me. [01:16:08] Jamie Kaler: He's like, "Hey man, thanks for building that thing because that was sound- that looked horrible." I go, "It was horrible. It was absolutely excruciating." [01:16:13] Adam Fishman: Yeah, yeah. [01:16:14] Adam Fishman: Wow. The journey is the destination, but it wasn't even your destination. [01:16:18] Jamie Kaler: Listen, I get it when you got to build your own kids thing. Like on Christmas when you're like, "I don't even know how I can stay up this late," and all of a sudden you're constructing this insane thing. but when you're building it for somebody else's kid, you're like, "This is not the way this is [01:16:30] Jamie Kaler: supposed to go." [01:16:31] Adam Fishman: All right. How long can a piece of food sit on the floor and you will still eat it? [01:16:35] Jamie Kaler: forever for me. I have no illusions about germs or any, I'll eat anything. [01:16:40] Adam Fishman: Okay. [01:16:40] Jamie Kaler: I have a cast iron stomach. My wife is the opposite. [01:16:43] Jamie Kaler: if the expiration date is within the next month, she's like, [01:16:47] Jamie Kaler: "That's gotta go. [01:16:48] Jamie Kaler: we couldn't be on further ends of the spectrum. [01:16:51] Jamie Kaler: I've eaten stuff that is like, would kill somebody, and I'm like, "Yeah, that's [01:16:56] Jamie Kaler: fine." I'll eat... Yeah. I, I, we had sushi in the fridge for like four days. I was like, "Yeah, it's probably still pretty good." [01:17:01] Adam Fishman: Sure, sure. I once ate a potato salad that had been expired by a full week, and I was like, "Oh, this is great." My wife took one bite and was like, "This is so spoiled." And I'm like, "What are you talking about? This is great potato salad." I was [01:17:13] Adam Fishman: fine. [01:17:14] Jamie Kaler: you get-- You didn't get sick [01:17:15] Adam Fishman: totally fine. Totally f- iron stomach. [01:17:17] Jamie Kaler: Oh my God, during the pandemic she had this, "I can't stand the smell of the, uh, antiseptic spray" or whatever those things are. I never do that because [01:17:24] Jamie Kaler: I, I actually believe that the germs... I tell my kids this too all the time. I'm like, "You know, the human body, it's really well constructed. It's, it's nature and it knows what it's doing, and if you treat it relatively well, it will heal. But you know, when you start to like wipe off every germ on your body, that, I don't think that's very helpful." But [01:17:44] Jamie Kaler: what do I know? [01:17:45] Jamie Kaler: Again, what do I know? [01:17:46] Adam Fishman: Yeah. we're in the home stretch here. H- how often do you tell your kids back in my day stories? [01:17:52] Jamie Kaler: Apparently far too often. Because they, they, they have a running joke of like, "Ah, you walked up hill in the snow." But here's the truth. When you have kids at 50, it's not just my back in the day isn't 20 years ago. My back in the day is 40 years ago. And so my back in the day is really back in the [01:18:13] Jamie Kaler: day [01:18:14] Adam Fishman: and white television, rabbit ears, [01:18:16] Jamie Kaler: I graduated high school in '82. [01:18:18] Jamie Kaler: 1982. [01:18:19] Adam Fishman: That was the year I was born. [01:18:21] Jamie Kaler: Yes. [01:18:21] Jamie Kaler: My wife was born in '80. I [01:18:23] Jamie Kaler: was finished high school in '82 [01:18:25] Adam Fishman: Amazing. All right, last one. [01:18:27] Jamie Kaler: Ja [01:18:28] Adam Fishman: What is your take on minivans? [01:18:31] Jamie Kaler: We-- Okay. I had a, I had a wonderful car, and then we had the kids, and it was right before Thanksgiving, and we had in-laws coming in, and my wife that day made me take the car and go get a Honda Odyssey minivan. And I fought it, and I got it. And then I didn't get a great deal because, you know, you've got to really shop to get a good deal. [01:18:52] Jamie Kaler: But we went in and it was like, "Oh, that's good." My wife's like, "That's good." I go, "That's not the way to do this." And so I'm sure I got raked over the coals for it. But I love the minivan. [01:19:01] Jamie Kaler: I loved it. I remember, like, pulling it over and just, like, like laying down in the back, [01:19:07] Jamie Kaler: you know? Where my wife's like, "Where have you been?" "I was at the store," when I was in, like, parked a block [01:19:11] Jamie Kaler: away, [01:19:12] Jamie Kaler: like... [01:19:12] Adam Fishman: down the street and took a [01:19:13] Jamie Kaler: Yeah, I just found a shady spot and took a nap in the back of the minivan. And it had the fold-down chairs, and it had third row, and it was pretty great. And the kids were strapped in, you reach a point where you're like, "Okay, we're done with that." [01:19:26] Adam Fishman: Yeah. [01:19:26] Adam Fishman: yeah. All right. [01:19:28] Jamie Kaler: we have an SUV now. [01:19:29] Adam Fishman: All right. Well, Jamie, this was fantastic. Thank you so much for joining me today on "Startup Dad." Uh, amazing to hear about your career, your life, your kids, your wife. Uh, and best of luck to you on the soccer sidelines and to your family for the rest of the year. And good luck in that last week of school too, by the way. [01:19:47] Jamie Kaler: I appreciate you having me on. It was super fun. And, um, yeah, to all you, uh, startup parents out there, luck. [01:19:55] Adam Fishman: Thank you for listening to today's conversation with Jamie Kaler. You can subscribe and watch the show on YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts. Visit www.startupdadpod.com to learn more and browse past episodes. Thanks for listening and see you next week.