Latest / The Midlife Momma Podcast - Empty nest mom, Parenting adult children, Midlife transition, Christian mom / 218. When a Prodigal Comes Home: Encouragement for Moms of Wayward Adult Children with Judy Douglass

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218. When a Prodigal Comes Home: Encouragement for Moms of Wayward Adult Children with Judy Douglass · The Midlife Momma Podcast - Empty nest mom, Parenting adult children, Midlife transition, Christian mom

0:02
[SPEAKER_01]: Christian parenting.
0:09
[SPEAKER_01]: Hey Mama, I'm Pamela Hinkelman, certified emptiness coach and your listening to the mid-life Mama podcast.
0:16
[SPEAKER_01]: This show is for Christian moms navigating the emptiness, learning how to let go with grace, set healthy boundaries, reconnected marriage, and step confidently into their
0:27
[SPEAKER_01]: Each week I'll coach you through this season with faith-filled encouragement, honest conversations, and practical tools that you can apply right away to your relationships and your life.
0:37
[SPEAKER_01]: If this episode encourages you, I'd be grateful if you'd leave a quick rating and review.
0:43
[SPEAKER_01]: It helps other moms find the support they need.
0:45
[SPEAKER_01]: You'll find the link in the show notes, and make sure you're following the podcast, and let's get started.
0:52
[SPEAKER_01]: Today's conversation is especially close to the heart of many mothers in the emptiness season.
0:57
[SPEAKER_01]: One of the deepest pains a mom can carry is watching in a adult child walk away from the faith or from the values who work so hard to instill.
1:06
[SPEAKER_01]: You may have prayed for that child since the day they were born, you dedicated them to the Lord, you raised them to know and love God, and now you find yourself wondering where God is in their story.
1:17
[SPEAKER_01]: If that's you, I want today's episode to read Hope back into your heart.
1:23
[SPEAKER_01]: My guest today is Judy Douglas, author and host of When You Love A Protocol podcast.
1:29
[SPEAKER_01]: Judy understands this journey personally.
1:31
[SPEAKER_01]: She's walked through the heartache of loving a prodigal child and experienced the beautiful moment when that child returned.
1:38
[SPEAKER_01]: Today we're talking about what it looks like to wait, pray and trust God with the
1:45
[SPEAKER_01]: That's dive into this powerful conversation.
1:48
[SPEAKER_01]: Welcome, Judy.
1:49
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, thank you, Pamela.
1:51
[SPEAKER_00]: What a treat for me to be with you.
1:53
[SPEAKER_00]: I want you to tell people, what do you up to these days?
1:57
[SPEAKER_00]: What am I up to these days?
1:58
[SPEAKER_00]: What ain't old?
2:00
[SPEAKER_00]: orphaned, helping out with 11 grandchildren and I love them.
2:06
[SPEAKER_00]: But yeah, I'm still working I work with crew and I have a team of women that ministers to women all around the world in our ministry.
2:15
[SPEAKER_00]: And but I have lots freedom of it.
2:17
[SPEAKER_01]: Wonderful.
2:18
[SPEAKER_01]: Let's dive in.
2:19
[SPEAKER_01]: Judy for the mom listening today who's a adult child has wandered far from faith or family.
2:25
[SPEAKER_01]: Can you briefly share your prodigal story and what that season was like for you as a mom?
2:31
[SPEAKER_00]: I will do that.
2:32
[SPEAKER_00]: I have to give a little background because it doesn't start like most of their seasons would.
2:38
[SPEAKER_00]: God sent us when we had just moved to Florida.
2:42
[SPEAKER_00]: He sent us a nine-year-old boy.
2:44
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm up ten years old.
2:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Who came from?
2:49
[SPEAKER_00]: some family, but his mother was a mess.
2:54
[SPEAKER_00]: And she was an addict and of prostituted and all the things and mostly he lived with her.
3:02
[SPEAKER_00]: When she would disappear, then the grandparents would come and get him.
3:06
[SPEAKER_00]: But they were already raging his half-sister and they couldn't take him to.
3:10
[SPEAKER_00]: And so his life was full of uncertainty and abuse
3:19
[SPEAKER_00]: and the county was taking him away from her.
3:22
[SPEAKER_00]: The Lord had told me he was sending us a son, and I was like, I'm 40 years old.
3:26
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't need it one now.
3:28
[SPEAKER_00]: He said, oh, y'all, when a friend said, do you?
3:32
[SPEAKER_00]: Someone who could take this, but that kind of eight year old boy, but we'll take a year with the county.
3:38
[SPEAKER_00]: So he came to live with us.
3:40
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know who was more shocked him or us.
3:44
[SPEAKER_00]: For him, it was like, I have to go to bed at a certain time.
3:48
[SPEAKER_00]: I can't eat what I want, watch what I want.
3:52
[SPEAKER_00]: We're going to sit down at a table together to eat, but that was just the beginning.
3:57
[SPEAKER_00]: He also had a hard life in the school.
3:59
[SPEAKER_00]: And so he's two years behind class level.
4:04
[SPEAKER_00]: He's six for now.
4:05
[SPEAKER_00]: So, a cool big boy.
4:07
[SPEAKER_00]: What?
4:08
[SPEAKER_00]: God, Roddy Man first is a foster child and then the story of how we moved to adoption, we won't take time with right now.
4:16
[SPEAKER_00]: He wanted to do well.
4:17
[SPEAKER_00]: He tried to be good, but he had so much pain in his life that he did not do good from the beginning.
4:24
[SPEAKER_00]: In school, I was sent to see the teacher or the principal or something often.
4:31
[SPEAKER_00]: And we.
4:32
[SPEAKER_00]: actually adopted him and that's actually when it got worse because he thought, oh, they're not going to get rid of me.
4:39
[SPEAKER_00]: And he went to middle school then.
4:42
[SPEAKER_00]: And he was a foot taller than most of the grade level, the pezies two years behind.
4:49
[SPEAKER_00]: And so he's found out I'll be in a bully works.
4:52
[SPEAKER_00]: And he's men as life in alternative classroom, a principal call
5:00
[SPEAKER_00]: We can't handle him.
5:01
[SPEAKER_00]: And so one more event, and he's out of here.
5:05
[SPEAKER_00]: So the Lord led us to a place called House of Hope, which was just opening a voice program.
5:10
[SPEAKER_00]: They'd had a 10 years girls program.
5:13
[SPEAKER_00]: And he was the second boy and he actually went willingly.
5:18
[SPEAKER_00]: He knew he was in trouble.
5:20
[SPEAKER_00]: He'd been in a gang that was a little scary sometimes and was that during his teenage years?
5:27
[SPEAKER_00]: We've already gained jazz.
5:29
[SPEAKER_00]: So we put him at this place called the House of Oak, which was hard but wonderful.
5:34
[SPEAKER_00]: And the good, the best thing that came out of there is he received price.
5:39
[SPEAKER_00]: And we're like, yeah, I think now we have something to work.
5:44
[SPEAKER_00]: When he came home,
5:47
[SPEAKER_00]: But then he went back to school and he got back with his old gang friends and he started on a various addictions of the different kinds.
5:56
[SPEAKER_00]: And so his high school years, I ended up home school and he'd because it wasn't gonna work.
6:01
[SPEAKER_00]: It was, and it was, on again, an off again, because we worked with crew and he was around Christians a lot.
6:08
[SPEAKER_00]: He would come at times when he was wanting to walk with God.
6:12
[SPEAKER_00]: But then he wasn't.
6:14
[SPEAKER_00]: And that just was the pattern this up and down, up and down, roller coaster, I call it that we went through for many years.
6:25
[SPEAKER_00]: He was not totally rejecting the Lord.
6:29
[SPEAKER_00]: He never totally rejected us because he needed us.
6:33
[SPEAKER_00]: But he was not obedient.
6:40
[SPEAKER_00]: He was
6:43
[SPEAKER_00]: hanging out with one good friend and a number of not good friends.
6:47
[SPEAKER_00]: So life just got harder and harder and because he's growing up.
6:55
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's like we're not seeing a future for him because my husband called him the most creative work of order he'd ever seen.
7:03
[SPEAKER_00]: And so we're like, how is he going to support himself as he's becoming 18, 19, 20?
7:12
[SPEAKER_00]: He was started dating a girl.
7:14
[SPEAKER_00]: They got married eventually because we forced it.
7:16
[SPEAKER_00]: We said, but basically, if you want to go to Hawaii with us, you need to either get married or she's not coming.
7:25
[SPEAKER_00]: So they got married.
7:27
[SPEAKER_00]: And they're married last at seven years.
7:30
[SPEAKER_00]: And it was real a rocky also because she had her own issues as well.
7:37
[SPEAKER_00]: They were not for each other.
7:40
[SPEAKER_00]: though God gave me a real love for her.
7:43
[SPEAKER_00]: That was all background to day, three things happened.
7:49
[SPEAKER_00]: Three big events that were his first step to the Lord in reality, in real life.
7:57
[SPEAKER_00]: And he's in his 20s at this point.
8:00
[SPEAKER_00]: The first one was that he and his wife's flip.
8:04
[SPEAKER_00]: And that just devastated him.
8:07
[SPEAKER_00]: even though he knew it was probably better.
8:09
[SPEAKER_00]: He couldn't handle that he wouldn't have her in his life.
8:12
[SPEAKER_00]: And so he called me one night about ten eleven o'clock.
8:16
[SPEAKER_00]: He says, so I'm in my track in the woods with my gun.
8:20
[SPEAKER_00]: He was working as a security guard.
8:24
[SPEAKER_00]: And I said, put the gun down and come home.
8:27
[SPEAKER_00]: and he said, no, I'm done.
8:29
[SPEAKER_00]: I tried to go see her and she wouldn't even open the door for me.
8:34
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm done.
8:36
[SPEAKER_00]: And I said, Josh, no, don't.
8:38
[SPEAKER_00]: At hand, we talked a little and then he said, bye-bye, and that's why I called his best friend who called him and he would answer, because he wouldn't answer again for me.
8:49
[SPEAKER_00]: And that phones really helped, no, if they didn't.
8:53
[SPEAKER_00]: So his friend talked him out of taking his life right then, and he came home.
8:58
[SPEAKER_00]: He wasn't living here, but he came home.
9:01
[SPEAKER_00]: And that was a devastating thing for him to lose her, but realize that his life would be better without her.
9:09
[SPEAKER_00]: But it did not pass and turn to the Lord.
9:12
[SPEAKER_00]: It just passed and did not pass.
9:13
[SPEAKER_00]: panic about his life.
9:15
[SPEAKER_00]: And then his grandfather, his birth grandfather, had been the most important man in his life because he'd been the only man in his life that was good to him until he came to us.
9:27
[SPEAKER_00]: And so his grandfather had always done things with him.
9:31
[SPEAKER_00]: taking him out fishing, taught him to handle a boat, took him to baseball practice, and he just was with him, and he adored his grandfather.
9:42
[SPEAKER_00]: And his grandfather got ill, and was...
9:47
[SPEAKER_00]: declining rather rapidly.
9:49
[SPEAKER_00]: And Josh was like, what will I do with Papa Dies?
9:53
[SPEAKER_00]: He just did not know how he was going to handle that one more loss in his life.
9:59
[SPEAKER_00]: And his life is a lot of losses.
10:03
[SPEAKER_00]: And a lot of which he precipitated.
10:05
[SPEAKER_00]: But so the last week of his life he went and lived with them for
10:15
[SPEAKER_00]: conscious most of the time.
10:17
[SPEAKER_00]: But sometimes he would wake up and talk to him a little.
10:20
[SPEAKER_00]: But he just talked to him to his grandfather.
10:24
[SPEAKER_00]: He just poured out his heart to him and thanked him for how good he'd been to him and how much he loved him and he said, I want to make you proud, Papa.
10:37
[SPEAKER_00]: Then when his grandfather died, he had to help the paramedics who came to take the body or whoever it was and he called me.
10:47
[SPEAKER_00]: I happened to be in Ethiopia, Uganda.
10:51
[SPEAKER_00]: I was saying Uganda.
10:52
[SPEAKER_00]: I traveled with the ministry a lot then and he said Papa's gone.
10:59
[SPEAKER_00]: And I said, how are you doing?
11:01
[SPEAKER_00]: Steve's home, you can mess my husband.
11:04
[SPEAKER_00]: And he said, you can go to him.
11:05
[SPEAKER_00]: He said, I told Papa that I wanted to be like him.
11:11
[SPEAKER_00]: And that I was going to just try to live up to who he had believed me to be.
11:19
[SPEAKER_00]: That was the major turning point in his life.
11:23
[SPEAKER_00]: Could pour, he had made Jesus at House of Hope, he'd be right in his life, but he was never Lord of his life in any thoughts.
11:32
[SPEAKER_00]: And all of a sudden he says, I am blind.
11:35
[SPEAKER_00]: to live the life that you would want me to live.
11:38
[SPEAKER_01]: Hey mama, if your house feels too quiet and your heart feels too heavy after launching your child, I've created the guide just for you.
11:47
[SPEAKER_01]: It's called journaling through transitional grief.
11:50
[SPEAKER_01]: A gentle, faith-filled resource to help you process the deep of motions of letting go.
11:56
[SPEAKER_01]: Inside, you'll find six reflection questions that will help you name your feelings and invite God into the grief and experience his comfort in the middle of change.
12:07
[SPEAKER_01]: Remember, transitional grief is only a season and God is leading you to a room piece, purpose, and joy.
12:14
[SPEAKER_01]: You can grab your free copy at the link in the show notes.
12:20
[SPEAKER_00]: And then God did one more thing right after that, which kind of sealed that that began to happen.
12:27
[SPEAKER_00]: And that was he met Leslie.
12:29
[SPEAKER_00]: Leslie was a brand new Christian from some bad choices of her own life.
12:37
[SPEAKER_00]: And she had come to Christ, but her family was not Christian.
12:39
[SPEAKER_00]: She had no background, no teaching, anything.
12:43
[SPEAKER_00]: But she said to Jaws, I'll walk through this with you.
12:48
[SPEAKER_00]: And I like, thank you, Lord.
12:50
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I would love to tell you that everything changed then, but a lot changed and that he became a hardworking person.
13:02
[SPEAKER_00]: My husband said, I think he might be the hardest working person I've ever watched.
13:07
[SPEAKER_00]: which, of course, was a huge difference.
13:10
[SPEAKER_00]: You'd transformation, why?
13:12
[SPEAKER_00]: And Leslie is a strong, wonderful woman.
13:16
[SPEAKER_00]: And so she was good for him, neither of them's walking with God, but they have him in their lives.
13:25
[SPEAKER_00]: And so they're not rejecting at this point.
13:28
[SPEAKER_00]: They're not doing terrible things.
13:30
[SPEAKER_00]: However, they got engaged.
13:34
[SPEAKER_00]: And about two months before they were to get married, Leslie said to Josh, if you want to marry me, you have to quit drinking.
13:44
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, Josh said, I can quit drinking.
13:47
[SPEAKER_00]: I'd, what's up your drinks?
13:49
[SPEAKER_00]: I can have a few drinks.
13:51
[SPEAKER_00]: And she said, I thought you could.
13:54
[SPEAKER_00]: but I see you pant and she had an 11 year old daughter and she says I am not bringing my daughter into a home where there's an alcohol program.
14:03
[SPEAKER_00]: It took him three tries right after another Anna and he hasn't had her drink in 12 years.
14:11
[SPEAKER_00]: And so that was a huge thing.
14:13
[SPEAKER_00]: Now you still got a few other biases that he's working up.
14:16
[SPEAKER_01]: But he has sin.
14:19
[SPEAKER_01]: Everybody, all of us, we have something to work on on.
14:22
[SPEAKER_01]: Some you can see some you can't.
14:25
[SPEAKER_01]: Judy, what I would love to know, though, is kind of gets into where he's on a good path.
14:32
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I want to know how was this season all those difficult years with him when he wasn't making good choices when he wasn't living a godlike life.
14:44
[SPEAKER_01]: He wasn't serving the Lord.
14:45
[SPEAKER_01]: What was that like for you emotionally?
14:48
[SPEAKER_00]: was challenging.
14:50
[SPEAKER_00]: I actually am a person who can normally handle challenges fairly well, but it was really hard because of our ministry.
15:00
[SPEAKER_00]: There was judgment from people.
15:03
[SPEAKER_00]: He said, basically, how has God led you still be in judgment when your child is, but then they gave a lot of grace because, you know, he wasn't our child.
15:14
[SPEAKER_00]: He was the adopted child and you can have trouble with them.
15:18
[SPEAKER_00]: But so we didn't get lots of criticism.
15:21
[SPEAKER_00]: We got some.
15:22
[SPEAKER_00]: But for me, here's what happened.
15:27
[SPEAKER_00]: I fell in love with the kid.
15:30
[SPEAKER_00]: And it was like, why can't I we my husband and I together, but also my husband was gone a lot because of leading the ministry did so I was on me most of the time I had two daughters who mostly.
15:50
[SPEAKER_00]: desirous of loving him, but finding it very hard.
15:53
[SPEAKER_00]: And they were almost all the same age.
15:56
[SPEAKER_00]: We're like 15, 16, 17 with him added in there.
16:01
[SPEAKER_00]: So people said shame, but I didn't feel much shame because I knew I hadn't caused it.
16:11
[SPEAKER_00]: Helped me not to have shame.
16:13
[SPEAKER_00]: However, I did feel inadequate.
16:18
[SPEAKER_00]: and feel like I was a failure that I couldn't help him because I should be able to help this kid make right decisions.
16:27
[SPEAKER_00]: He has security right now.
16:29
[SPEAKER_00]: He has parents who love him.
16:32
[SPEAKER_00]: He has family, he's getting an education, all the things that give him hope for a life.
16:38
[SPEAKER_00]: We, he, alive this gang Prince.
16:41
[SPEAKER_00]: He kept going back to them.
16:43
[SPEAKER_00]: God kept bringing Christian men into his life who would spend some time with him.
16:48
[SPEAKER_00]: And that was positive.
16:50
[SPEAKER_00]: And one, one time, this one man that met him, he says, you like to surf, don't you, just?
16:57
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
16:58
[SPEAKER_00]: So he said, I have a friend in California.
17:01
[SPEAKER_00]: We live in Florida, called the surfing pastor.
17:05
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm just into out to spend a week with him.
17:09
[SPEAKER_00]: than a week with the surfing pastor David's his name.
17:12
[SPEAKER_00]: And it was wonderful.
17:14
[SPEAKER_00]: He loved it.
17:15
[SPEAKER_00]: He got to help young kids learn to fur, which was his favorite thing in the world after fishing.
17:21
[SPEAKER_00]: But that lasted when he came home maybe a month, maybe a week before he's back with his old friends.
17:29
[SPEAKER_00]: and skipping school, I ended up homeschooling and drinking drugs.
17:35
[SPEAKER_00]: I had no idea.
17:37
[SPEAKER_00]: I newly was doing both.
17:38
[SPEAKER_00]: I did not know how much.
17:41
[SPEAKER_00]: And so that was all a challenge.
17:45
[SPEAKER_00]: And I mainly felt like a failure.
17:48
[SPEAKER_00]: The most important thing I did.
17:51
[SPEAKER_00]: was invite people to pray with me, so I know Christians all over the world, and I just started the world-wide front row prayer day in a second, which was the day that Josh met Jesus when he
18:14
[SPEAKER_00]: with others we pray.
18:16
[SPEAKER_00]: And it burst, it was just a few of my friends, but then others.
18:21
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I don't even know how many we have a website where people can post requests.
18:26
[SPEAKER_00]: It's superior and they can post their requests.
18:30
[SPEAKER_00]: And
18:30
[SPEAKER_00]: We can pray for each other.
18:33
[SPEAKER_00]: We also have the prodigal prayer day, every June, second, and we get thousands of requests that hundreds or thousands, we have no idea how many people pray for that day, because other groups and people post-promoted as well.
18:52
[SPEAKER_00]: And our Facebook page, which was just a little bit, thing I started was taken over by one of the moms in our ministry who has two products.
19:02
[SPEAKER_00]: And one of whom is in treatment right now and making the most major changes in his life I've ever seen for him.
19:10
[SPEAKER_00]: But she took over the Facebook page.
19:12
[SPEAKER_00]: It now has
19:14
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know, 14,000 followers on it.
19:18
[SPEAKER_01]: I want to go back to something you said that I think is the most important thing.
19:24
[SPEAKER_01]: You said you decided to just love him.
19:29
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, tell me about that.
19:31
[SPEAKER_01]: What does that look like?
19:32
[SPEAKER_01]: What did that look like in practical terms?
19:34
[SPEAKER_01]: What did it look like?
19:36
[SPEAKER_00]: It meant, it meant taking a slightly different approach than a lot of people did.
19:44
[SPEAKER_00]: repeatedly.
19:46
[SPEAKER_00]: You just have to have tough love.
19:48
[SPEAKER_00]: You just have to have tough love.
19:51
[SPEAKER_00]: God said to me one time because I desperate.
19:54
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like, what do I do?
19:55
[SPEAKER_00]: What do I do, Lord?
19:57
[SPEAKER_00]: He says, Judy, when you make mistakes with this boy,
20:04
[SPEAKER_00]: and you well.
20:05
[SPEAKER_00]: And of course, I did more than I would like to admit.
20:09
[SPEAKER_00]: But when you make mistakes with this boy, make them on the side of grace.
20:17
[SPEAKER_00]: And God just, he just always whispered to me when it came down to, yes, that we need in boundaries.
20:23
[SPEAKER_00]: There were consequences, but even when you do that,
20:30
[SPEAKER_00]: So often consequences, boundaries and consequences come when there's anger, or when you're so frustrated that you just, and so then you raise your voice and you speak, finally, and God said, Grace, Judy, well, and grace.
20:49
[SPEAKER_00]: And we changed our approach, not a huge change, but a significant one.
20:56
[SPEAKER_00]: And we followed the Lord's example of mercy when I think what God is forgiven me for.
21:04
[SPEAKER_00]: Think, how can I not forgive this person I love?
21:09
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I've had to forgive him some pretty hurtful things and God showed me
21:17
[SPEAKER_00]: that if I could in love, it with grace.
21:23
[SPEAKER_00]: Communicate with them not how awful he is, how bad he is, but how loved he is and what a valuable person he is.
21:31
[SPEAKER_00]: And even going down the spiritual road of talking about how much God loves him, talking about how he is created for purpose in life, trying to get him a future that's beyond what he had grown up at having any view of.
21:53
[SPEAKER_00]: attorney point.
21:56
[SPEAKER_00]: And I really fell in love with him.
21:58
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I actually my husband said, maybe there'd be a little tougher sometime.
22:05
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's try to get that balance, but I love that.
22:08
[SPEAKER_01]: What I hear you saying is, we act like Jesus honestly.
22:12
[SPEAKER_01]: We lead with kindness and tenderness, tone is everything.
22:17
[SPEAKER_01]: Like our kid, our prodigals will pick up on that so fast.
22:22
[SPEAKER_01]: And if they feel any sense of judgment or
22:26
[SPEAKER_01]: being harsh or put down or whatever, you know, it just closes their heart up.
22:31
[SPEAKER_01]: So yeah, it does.
22:33
[SPEAKER_01]: It does.
22:34
[SPEAKER_01]: And when we're upset, we don't take it out on our prodigal.
22:38
[SPEAKER_01]: We go to God with that.
22:40
[SPEAKER_01]: And we're like, God, I haven't really upset.
22:42
[SPEAKER_01]: We are allowed to express that anger or that frustration or that disappointment with God, but we protect we I have this such tender tenderness for my prodigals.
22:56
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't want, I don't want to hurt them.
22:59
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't want everyone else to hurt them.
23:01
[SPEAKER_01]: They're my kids.
23:03
[SPEAKER_01]: They're our kids.
23:05
[SPEAKER_00]: And every
23:11
[SPEAKER_00]: And so, God was working and Josh became much more open, talking, making better choices, becoming a hardworking person, he and his wife, Leslie, had too little girl.
23:29
[SPEAKER_00]: She has the older daughter and that helped him some, but he had some injuries.
23:36
[SPEAKER_00]: at work.
23:37
[SPEAKER_00]: It drills water wells.
23:39
[SPEAKER_00]: They have a farm and then it works just water griller or water well, which is a hard job.
23:45
[SPEAKER_00]: And injured there, plus he got something else internally that I didn't understand.
23:52
[SPEAKER_00]: And he ended up being at home for three months.
23:56
[SPEAKER_00]: asphalt and really frustrated because he wasn't working.
24:00
[SPEAKER_00]: So he wasn't getting income and they don't have extra money and he's they live in a little farmhouse.
24:08
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's all three of the kids, the older one and the two younger ones, they're now nine and five and it's white.
24:17
[SPEAKER_00]: And so each is frustrated and angry.
24:25
[SPEAKER_00]: where to go.
24:28
[SPEAKER_00]: As we want him out of here, it's hard in having him because he just was so frustrated and angry.
24:37
[SPEAKER_00]: And at that time his wife, who had received Christ, but really had no, I was her main person talking to her about the Lord.
24:47
[SPEAKER_00]: And she's never been in any kind of place to really study and
24:56
[SPEAKER_00]: And so she started responding to him a little differently than it out of the hat and praying for him and we started praying.
25:07
[SPEAKER_00]: and she decided she really wanted to walk with God.
25:11
[SPEAKER_00]: So she started talking with some Christian friend she had met and they're defy playing her because they're near her.
25:19
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't live right there.
25:21
[SPEAKER_00]: So she's really growing and so she's having an impact on him and he gets one, he's back at work and
25:29
[SPEAKER_00]: They both decided she decided to give up to us.
25:32
[SPEAKER_00]: So I went up there for her baptism just a year ago.
25:37
[SPEAKER_00]: And she's so excited about the Lord.
25:42
[SPEAKER_00]: And he just began to change.
25:48
[SPEAKER_00]: And all of a sudden, text me just like a few weeks ago.
25:52
[SPEAKER_00]: He said, so I'm ordering a Bible.
25:59
[SPEAKER_00]: And I went, who is this?
26:01
[SPEAKER_00]: It's late a minute.
26:02
[SPEAKER_00]: What is going on?
26:03
[SPEAKER_00]: It's beautiful.
26:04
[SPEAKER_00]: As only in the last year, have we seen transformation?
26:11
[SPEAKER_00]: I've seen turn, I've seen change over several years, like 10 years, where he quit drinking, which was changed, but not all you, some of the other stuff, but he was at least responsive and we could actually talk about the Lord some, but it was still not, my life belongs to the Lord.
26:31
[SPEAKER_00]: He says, yeah, I know the Lord has a good plan for me, I said, maybe you should be listening.
26:39
[SPEAKER_00]: But this year, to see the difference in him, I can hardly believe it.
26:44
[SPEAKER_00]: They joined a church to bid turrets.
26:48
[SPEAKER_00]: And the church says to you after you go through the classes and get invited into a fellowship, they say, what would you like to do to serve the church?
26:58
[SPEAKER_00]: And it was just an assumption, anyone in the church will be serving in some way.
27:03
[SPEAKER_00]: And for they don't all, but Leslie quickly went to work in with kids.
27:07
[SPEAKER_00]: And so she's doing something once a week with them.
27:10
[SPEAKER_00]: And Josh said, they said, one of our greatest needs is for security guard.
27:16
[SPEAKER_00]: at services.
27:18
[SPEAKER_00]: In fact, I found out, basically, any church of any size has arms security guards now.
27:24
[SPEAKER_00]: They do.
27:25
[SPEAKER_00]: And so, through Sunday, so we Josh is on arms security guard duty and sometimes on Wednesday nights.
27:32
[SPEAKER_00]: And he's so excited about it.
27:35
[SPEAKER_00]: That he gets to do something he's good at.
27:43
[SPEAKER_00]: He says, Lord, okay, what do you want me to be going for the rest of my life?
27:50
[SPEAKER_00]: What is your purpose for me?
27:52
[SPEAKER_00]: Words, it's like, it's still hard for me to believe to hear that he is saying these things.
28:00
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's just an incredible thing.
28:03
[SPEAKER_00]: What's the secret?
28:05
[SPEAKER_00]: Certainly, God is the secret.
28:08
[SPEAKER_00]: prayer is the secret to God's always loving him.
28:13
[SPEAKER_00]: And he know that, but to keep praying and to keep praying and to remember that God is always working.
28:21
[SPEAKER_00]: As much as I love Josh, God loves him a whole lot more.
28:25
[SPEAKER_00]: He made him who he is.
28:27
[SPEAKER_00]: He knows what he's supposed to be and do.
28:31
[SPEAKER_00]: He knew the journey he was going to have.
28:33
[SPEAKER_00]: and God never gave up on Him.
28:36
[SPEAKER_00]: He's said, friendly angels to Him from time to remind Him of how much He loved Him, but He still took Josh such a long time, aside that He could trust God.
28:50
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm just thrilled.
28:51
[SPEAKER_00]: I have to confess, there's this little, will this one fail also, like it had in the past.
28:59
[SPEAKER_00]: but that just been a longer flow journey in these last 10, 12 years.
29:05
[SPEAKER_00]: For him, changed from totally rebellious to I'll be a good person.
29:12
[SPEAKER_00]: But now he has the means to be the man God created him to be.
29:17
[SPEAKER_00]: And he says, I love to help people.
29:21
[SPEAKER_00]: but I'm not bold to offer.
29:23
[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm praying that God would just have people ask him to help them with something.
29:30
[SPEAKER_00]: So those are, that's the story.
29:32
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not like it happened overnight.
29:35
[SPEAKER_00]: It didn't work.
29:36
[SPEAKER_00]: But Edgar, are the keys?
29:39
[SPEAKER_00]: Loved.
29:40
[SPEAKER_00]: Grace.
29:42
[SPEAKER_00]: I just did a five week series with my team at our ministry and I said the five words that have changed my life.
29:49
[SPEAKER_00]: The first one is thank giving thanks and everything.
29:53
[SPEAKER_00]: I learned to do that with about Tosh over and over.
29:57
[SPEAKER_00]: The second is grace and love and mercy.
30:06
[SPEAKER_00]: and blessing could go beyond those very spiritual things and look for tangible ways to bless some.
30:15
[SPEAKER_01]: That's good.
30:16
[SPEAKER_01]: Let's look for tangible ways to bless our prodigals.
30:20
[SPEAKER_01]: Practical things, what can you do?
30:22
[SPEAKER_01]: What could you do today?
30:23
[SPEAKER_00]: Wow, that's yeah, you won't an example.
30:26
[SPEAKER_00]: That was day when I was really angry at it.
30:29
[SPEAKER_00]: really obnoxious.
30:30
[SPEAKER_00]: This was earlier.
30:31
[SPEAKER_00]: And he got mad and so he slammed the door and left the house.
30:37
[SPEAKER_00]: And I said, I am going to bless you Josh.
30:40
[SPEAKER_00]: My kids all one of their jobs, the only one they did readily was wash their own clothes.
30:45
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I went up his room, got all his dirty clothes that I could find.
30:50
[SPEAKER_00]: And brought them down to the laundry room, one piece by one piece I went.
30:56
[SPEAKER_00]: As I put it into the
30:59
[SPEAKER_00]: I bless you, Jos.
31:01
[SPEAKER_00]: I've let, and I did all that laundry for him.
31:05
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, was he grateful?
31:06
[SPEAKER_00]: I think he did faith thing.
31:08
[SPEAKER_00]: Not, it, it, it dealt to him.
31:10
[SPEAKER_00]: For me, it was a tangible way to bless, even if he didn't acknowledge it.
31:17
[SPEAKER_00]: And he didn't look.
31:20
[SPEAKER_00]: The things, sometimes it's big things, like,
31:23
[SPEAKER_00]: go someplace he really wanted to go and take him to the trip.
31:27
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
31:28
[SPEAKER_00]: Take him to the beach so he could serve for a boy.
31:31
[SPEAKER_00]: Those kind of things, but looking for little thing and the big things to say, I bless you.
31:38
[SPEAKER_00]: God bless you.
31:39
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to be part of blessing you.
31:41
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to be a blessing in your life, not one more put down, not one more person angry at you, teachers, being angry at him, friends, thank you.
31:53
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you.
31:54
[SPEAKER_00]: God has done a good work, and I still pray.
31:58
[SPEAKER_01]: Amen.
31:58
[SPEAKER_01]: Amen.
31:59
[SPEAKER_01]: I want to ask you one final question for the mom who is listening right now, who feels exhausted from praying and waiting, what would you say to and could curry turn that to give up on
32:11
[SPEAKER_00]: Get down on your knees.
32:13
[SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to get down on your knees to gray, but I pray in the shower, even.
32:19
[SPEAKER_00]: And your prayers are your starting point, probably because God's the one who is doing something and can bring it about.
32:29
[SPEAKER_00]: And we can't make it happen, but we can contribute with our prayers, but also with our love and grace.
32:38
[SPEAKER_00]: speaking, I wrote a thing that I was going to, but we wouldn't have time to read it.
32:43
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not long.
32:44
[SPEAKER_00]: It's called the Voice of Grace.
32:47
[SPEAKER_00]: And how we speak to them is a huge part of their healing, or their sense of being cared for, as opposed to not wanted.
32:59
[SPEAKER_00]: And so to speak with grace instead of
33:08
[SPEAKER_00]: yelling, which I've been known to do.
33:11
[SPEAKER_00]: But the pain, the most important thing you can do in God promises that he's still working and he will not quit.
33:19
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, what he doesn't always promise?
33:23
[SPEAKER_00]: is that you get to see it.
33:25
[SPEAKER_00]: People, God calls you home and you haven't seen it yet, but your prayers are still working and God is still working.
33:33
[SPEAKER_00]: And so there's no giving up.
33:35
[SPEAKER_00]: God made them, he knows them, he loves them.
33:39
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, how it loves them.
33:41
[SPEAKER_00]: We think we love them.
33:43
[SPEAKER_00]: It's nothing compared to God's love for them, right?
33:46
[SPEAKER_00]: And he's after them.
33:49
[SPEAKER_01]: That's right.
33:50
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you, Judy.
33:51
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you so much for joining me today.
33:52
[SPEAKER_01]: Tell us how moms can find your group.
33:56
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, basically remember prayer for prodigals.
34:00
[SPEAKER_00]: Prayer for prodigals.com should take you to a website that's secure.
34:07
[SPEAKER_00]: where you can post requests and others will pray.
34:11
[SPEAKER_00]: And it is so kind as to every few days, it sends us some names and requests to us.
34:18
[SPEAKER_00]: Technology does.
34:19
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not very kept, Naly.
34:22
[SPEAKER_00]: It's some kind of duty.
34:24
[SPEAKER_00]: And so that's one.
34:25
[SPEAKER_00]: You can always go to Facebook and look for fair prayer.
34:30
[SPEAKER_00]: I think with the four, number, prodigal, there's some other prodigal groups and they're good, you by the way.
34:37
[SPEAKER_00]: But ours is, it's pretty consistent and quite a few people involved there.
34:44
[SPEAKER_00]: We post stuff all the time on Facebook that are encouraging and hopeful.
34:49
[SPEAKER_00]: So if you follow the Facebook page, you will get encouragement every day.
34:54
[SPEAKER_00]: Wonderful.
34:55
[SPEAKER_00]: And then the other thing is, Joanna, I'm pair of a prodigal's day on June 2nd.
35:02
[SPEAKER_00]: If you want to go there, you can post in the request there for the be prayed for.
35:10
[SPEAKER_00]: A go to gd.gov.com and you can make a request there as well.
35:15
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's the book I wrote from my long journey called when you love a prodigal.
35:21
[SPEAKER_00]: And yeah, it's a devotional.
35:24
[SPEAKER_00]: 90 days of devotional.
35:26
[SPEAKER_00]: So that'll take you through three months of the haul.
35:30
[SPEAKER_01]: I will leave all the links in the show notes so that moms can find you.
35:34
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you so much for being here today, Judy.
35:37
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for including me and letting me talk and about this guy, this boy I love.
35:43
[SPEAKER_00]: He's not a boy anymore, he's 45.
35:47
[SPEAKER_01]: But you'll always be your boy, right?
35:49
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, what a beautiful reminder that God is still writing the story.
35:53
[SPEAKER_01]: If you are a mom who is praying for a prodigal child, I hope today's conversation encourage you to keep trusting God.
36:01
[SPEAKER_01]: Even when you cannot see what he's doing, your prayers matter more than you realize.
36:06
[SPEAKER_01]: Here's a coaching tip for the week.
36:08
[SPEAKER_01]: In each episode, I will give you one actionable step to improve your life.
36:11
[SPEAKER_01]: Remember, you can't change everything, but you can take one step to be better.
36:16
[SPEAKER_01]: This week, I want you to do one thing, one practical, tangible thing, to bless your prodigal.
36:26
[SPEAKER_01]: I want you to do it, and then see what happens, see how they respond.
36:31
[SPEAKER_01]: Judy's story reminds us that God is always pursuing our children even in seasons when they seem far away.
36:38
[SPEAKER_01]: If today's episode encouraged you, would you take a moment to share it with a friend who might need hope right now.
36:43
[SPEAKER_01]: And until next time, remember this, you can let go with grace and trust that God loves your children even more than you do.
36:51
[SPEAKER_01]: Grace and peace mama, you've got this and God's got you.
36:55
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you so much for spending time with me on the Midlife Mama Podcast.
36:59
[SPEAKER_01]: My hope is that you leave each episode feeling encouraged, grounded, and clearer.
37:05
[SPEAKER_01]: Clearer about what you're feeling, what God may be stirring in you, and how to move forward in the season of the empty nest.
37:11
[SPEAKER_01]: Through these conversations, I'm not just sharing stories.
37:14
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm coaching you.
37:16
[SPEAKER_01]: Helping you name what's happening beneath the service, service, challenging the thoughts that keep you stuck and take intentional steps toward peace and confidence as a midlife mom.
37:26
[SPEAKER_01]: If you're ready to go deeper in what personalized coaching support, I invite you to apply for coaching.
37:32
[SPEAKER_01]: Coaching is a focused one-on-one space where we work together to gain clarity, process emotions, and discern what God is calling you to in this next chapter.
37:42
[SPEAKER_01]: You'll find the application linked in the show notes, and let's stay connected.
37:46
[SPEAKER_01]: You can find me on Instagram at P-Hinklman, that's P-H-E-N-K-E-L-M-A-N, or on Facebook at Pamela Hinklman, M-D-N-S-Coach.
37:57
[SPEAKER_01]: You don't have to figure out the season alone mom support and direction are possible and I'm here when you're ready