Latest / New Manager Conversations with Fexingo: First 90 Days, Managing Former Peers, and Leadership Basics / How New Managers Can Delegate Without Losing Control
Transcript
- Lucas: So you've been a manager for three weeks. Your team is small, the work is piling up, and you know you can't do it all yourself. But every time you hand something off, you end up redoing it. Or you check in so often that your team stops waiting for your next message. Luna: Yeah, that's the classic delegation trap. New managers either micromanage or dump and run. There's not much middle ground. Lucas: Exactly. And the thing is, delegation is taught as this binary act — you either own a task or you delegate it. But in practice, it's a spectrum. There's a framework from Julie Zhou's book 'The Making of a Manager' that breaks it into a four-step ladder. Luna: Oh, I remember that. The task-transfer ladder. She calls the rungs 'tell,' 'coach,' 'support,' and 'delegate.' Lucas: Right. And the key insight is that you don't jump from tell to delegate overnight. You move up one rung at a time, and you also move back down if the person is struggling. Let me ground this in a real example. Luna: Please do. Lucas: So I was talking to a first-time engineering manager at a mid-size SaaS company — let's call her Priya. She had been a senior engineer on the team for two years, and then she got promoted to manage the same team she used to be on. One of her first big tasks was to hand off a critical integration project to a former peer, a guy named Dan. Luna: That's a tough spot. Dan used to be her equal, and now she's asking him to take over something she originally built. Lucas: Exactly. And initially, she did what a lot of new managers do — she told Dan exactly what to do and how to do it. She wrote out the steps, shared her old code, and said 'just follow this.' That's the 'tell' rung. And Dan resented it. He felt like she didn't trust him. Luna: I can see that. He's a competent engineer, and she's treating him like an intern. Lucas: Right. So she realised that wasn't working. She needed to move to the next rung: 'coach.' Instead of giving him the answer, she started asking questions. 'What do you think the biggest risk is here?' 'How would you sequence the testing?' She was still heavily involved, but she was guiding him rather than dictating. Luna: And how did Dan respond to that? Lucas: Much better. He started taking ownership. But here's the thing — it took Priya a few weeks to feel comfortable stepping back further. She had to prove to herself that Dan could handle it. So she moved to the third rung: 'support.' That meant she was available for questions, but she wasn't driving. She'd check in once a day instead of three times. Luna: That sounds like a good rhythm. But I imagine the hardest part was the final rung — actually letting go and delegating fully. Lucas: It was. Because delegating fully means you're no longer in the details. You're accountable for the outcome, but you're not controlling the process. Priya told me that when she finally moved to delegate, she felt a mix of relief and anxiety. Like, what if Dan misses something? What if I get blamed? Luna: And what helped her get past that? Lucas: She set up a clear checkpoint. She said, 'Dan, I'm delegating this fully to you. You own the timeline and the decisions. But I want a ten-minute update every Tuesday. If you hit a roadblock, you tell me immediately. Otherwise, I trust you.' That gave her a safety net without undermining his autonomy. Luna: That's a great structure. One thing I'd add — when you're delegating to a former peer, there's also the emotional dimension. You used to be equals, and now you're in charge. That can make the delegation feel personal. Lucas: Absolutely. Priya said she had to have a direct conversation with Dan about the shift. She said something like, 'I know it's weird that I'm now your manager. I want to find a way to work together where you feel empowered and I feel like I'm not abandoning my responsibilities.' That honesty helped. Luna: It also sets the expectation that delegation is a two-way street. Dan needed to be willing to take ownership, and Priya needed to be willing to let go. Lucas: Right. And that brings me to another important point — the common mistakes new managers make with the ladder. The biggest one is skipping rungs. They go straight from 'tell' to 'delegate' because they think that's what good managers do. But the team isn't ready, and the manager hasn't built the trust. Luna: Yeah, I've seen that backfire. The manager says 'you own this,' but then the employee isn't sure what 'own' means, and the manager still has all the anxiety. Lucas: Exactly. So the ladder is really about calibrating the level of support. And it's not just about the person — it's also about the task. Some tasks are so critical or complex that you might stay on the 'coach' rung longer. Others, like routine reporting, you can move to 'delegate' faster. Luna: That's a good nuance. It's not a one-size-fits-all approach. Lucas: No, it isn't. And here's the thing — if you're listening and you've just become a manager, you might feel like you're supposed to have it all figured out. But delegation is a skill you build over time. The ladder gives you a mental model to check yourself. Luna: I want to go back to something you mentioned earlier — the fear of losing visibility. A lot of new managers worry that if they delegate too much, they won't know what's going on, and then they can't advocate for their team. Lucas: That's real. And the antidote isn't to hoard the work. It's to create better visibility systems. Priya used a shared project tracker where Dan updated progress daily. That way she could see the status without asking. She also had a weekly sync with her own boss where she could talk about the project at a high level. Luna: So delegation doesn't mean you go blind. It means you change how you see. Lucas: Exactly. You shift from looking at the code to looking at the trajectory. From the tactics to the strategy. And that's actually the growth move for a new manager — learning to lead through others. Luna: Speaking of growth, I know we're an ad-free show, and that's something our listeners tell us they really appreciate. If this conversation has helped you think about your own delegation habits, and you'd like to support the show so we can keep making it, you can buy us a coffee at buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. No pressure, just a way to keep things going. Lucas: Yeah, that's right. And honestly, even just recommending the show to a colleague who's stepping into management for the first time — that helps a ton too. But back to the ladder. One thing I want to emphasise is that moving down the ladder isn't a failure. Luna: Can you give an example of when you'd move back down? Lucas: Sure. Say you delegated a task to someone, and they're stuck. They haven't asked for help, but you can see the deadline slipping. You might step back to 'support' — offer to brainstorm together. Or if they're completely lost, you might go down to 'coach' and walk through the approach. The key is to communicate that shift transparently. Luna: You don't want them to feel like you're punishing them by taking back control. Lucas: Right. You say something like, 'I can see this is tougher than we expected. Let's work through it together for this sprint, and then you can take the lead again.' That keeps the relationship intact. Luna: Another thing I've noticed is that new managers often forget to celebrate the small wins when delegation works. They're so focused on the next task that they don't acknowledge when someone successfully takes ownership. Lucas: That's a great point. Recognition is a huge part of building the confidence to delegate more. When Dan completed the integration project on time, Priya made a point to highlight his work in the team stand-up and in her email to the VP. She made it clear that he owned it. Luna: And that probably made Dan more willing to take on the next big project. Lucas: Exactly. Delegation is a cycle. You hand off a task, the person succeeds, you give credit, trust grows, and then you can delegate something bigger. The ladder helps you get started, but the loop is what sustains it. Luna: So let's say someone listening has a team member who's been with them for years, and they've never delegated anything substantial. Where should they start? Lucas: I'd start with a small, low-risk task. Something that won't cause a crisis if it goes wrong. And I'd start on the 'coach' rung — discuss the approach, let them try, and then give feedback. The goal is to build a track record of success. Luna: And if the person is resistant? Like, they'd rather you just do it? Lucas: That's tough. Sometimes people resist delegation because they don't want the responsibility, or they fear failure. In that case, you have to address the resistance directly. Say, 'I know you can do this. I'm not going to lower the bar, but I will support you.' And then you might stay on the 'support' rung longer. Luna: It's a bit of a coaching challenge in itself. Lucas: It is. But that's the job of a manager — to help people grow. Delegation is one of the most powerful tools for that. It's not just about offloading work. It's about giving someone the chance to develop new skills and take ownership. And that's what makes it worth the effort. Luna: I think a lot of new managers also worry that if they delegate too much, they'll become redundant. Like, what if the team doesn't need them anymore? Lucas: Yeah, that's a fear. But the reality is, if you delegate well, your role shifts to higher-value work — like strategy, stakeholder management, and removing blockers. You become more valuable, not less. And your team respects you for trusting them. Luna: So the goal isn't to do less. It's to do different things. Lucas: Exactly. And that's the mindset shift every new manager needs to make. You're no longer the individual contributor. You're the multiplier. Your success is measured by what your team achieves, not by what you produce. Luna: Alright, I think we've given listeners a solid framework to start with. To recap: the task-transfer ladder has four rungs — tell, coach, support, delegate. Move up gradually, don't skip rungs, and be willing to move back down when needed. Lucas: And remember, delegation is a skill. You'll get better with practice. Start small, be transparent, and give credit. Your team will thank you for it.