Latest / Unshakeable with Human Design - A Human Design For Business Podcast / 445: Generators & The Sacral Consistency Myth: Why You Lose Momentum (and How to Get It Back)

Transcript

445: Generators & The Sacral Consistency Myth: Why You Lose Momentum (and How to Get It Back) · Unshakeable with Human Design - A Human Design For Business Podcast

0:11
Nicole Laino: Come here to become an unshakable human and build an unshakable business according to your human design.
0:17
Nicole Laino: I'm your host, Nicole Laino.
0:21
Nicole Laino: Hello and welcome to Unshakable with Human Design.
0:24
Nicole Laino: I'm your host, Nicole Laino.
0:26
Nicole Laino: And today this episode is going to be for the generators and manifesting generators.
0:31
Nicole Laino: Anybody with a sacral center defined.
0:33
Nicole Laino: Now, that doesn't mean if you are a projector or reflector or a manifestor, that you can't get value out of this too.
0:39
Nicole Laino: Because really what I'm going to do in this episode is I want to break down exactly how it really works to work with human design and work with it in your business.
0:49
Nicole Laino: And we're going to do a little bit of myth busting in here.
0:52
Nicole Laino: We're going to.
0:53
Nicole Laino: I'm going to be showing you.
0:54
Nicole Laino: This is sort of a case study of sorts that I.
0:57
Nicole Laino: This is an example that came from a client where I worked her through something, through having her chart up on my screen, listening to her and hearing the not self.
1:09
Nicole Laino: And anybody can do that.
1:11
Nicole Laino: We're just going to use a generator as an example today.
1:14
Nicole Laino: But this will go for any.
1:16
Nicole Laino: We're really going to talk about, you know, how we get pulled off our path.
1:20
Nicole Laino: So this will be valuable for everyone.
1:21
Nicole Laino: But the exact example is going to be with a generator.
1:24
Nicole Laino: So sacrals will.
1:26
Nicole Laino: Obviously, this will be most like your own process.
1:29
Nicole Laino: Okay, so this is really for everybody who ever says, like, I wish I could be more consistent, or you think you can't be consistent.
1:37
Nicole Laino: That was what my client came to me with.
1:40
Nicole Laino: She was like, I can't be consistent.
1:42
Nicole Laino: Maybe I'm just not a disciplined person.
1:45
Nicole Laino: And she was starting to get a lot of doubt about herself.
1:48
Nicole Laino: She was starting to feel like things weren't going to work.
1:52
Nicole Laino: And this happens a lot, right?
1:53
Nicole Laino: You know, entrepreneurship is a. I work with mostly entrepreneurs.
1:58
Nicole Laino: It's not exclusive, but mostly it's entrepreneurs.
2:00
Nicole Laino: And this is a bumpy ride.
2:03
Nicole Laino: The first thing I have to do with everybody, I don't care what your design is we have to redefine what consistency looks like, what it is.
2:11
Nicole Laino: We have an idea about something that is not totally correct.
2:15
Nicole Laino: And then we start to try to become this, like, perfected version that we have in our heads.
2:21
Nicole Laino: And that in and of itself is conditioning.
2:25
Nicole Laino: Someone told us along the way, and we're all unwinding by the way, from the conditioning of Certainly the last 20 years or longer than that.
2:37
Nicole Laino: Goodness, I'm old.
2:37
Nicole Laino: We're in 2026.
2:39
Nicole Laino: So if we go back, you know, to the 80s, the 1980s, it was like, you know, like hustle and grind.
2:45
Nicole Laino: And that was the big badge of honor.
2:48
Nicole Laino: And now we're shifting into a new paradigm where that is not getting us.
2:52
Nicole Laino: That's not a guarantee that you're going to get what you want, and it is kind of a guarantee that you're going to feel badly about yourself at some point, which is going to be far more damaging than whatever productivity you think you missed out on, you know?
3:06
Nicole Laino: You know, consistency comes from a consistency in your energy first.
3:10
Nicole Laino: So first, what we're going to do is like, I want to clarify that we are not, like, diagnosing your personality here.
3:16
Nicole Laino: We're not talking about whether you are a successful person or not.
3:19
Nicole Laino: What I'm going to do in this episode is kind of identify a mechanism and a system within human design that helps you self diagnose if you're doing this yourself or understand why human design is.
3:33
Nicole Laino: Is such a powerful tool for coaching, whether it be you doing this for your clients or you looking to hire somebody who is at least human design literate and can spot these things so that you're being guided to your path to consistency and not somebody else's.
3:52
Nicole Laino: Okay, So I often struggle trying to explain exactly how human design connects with business growth, and I do a pretty good job of it.
4:00
Nicole Laino: But I thought that this would be cool to go into an actual example of what I worked through with this particular client.
4:09
Nicole Laino: I'm not going to give any names, of course.
4:10
Nicole Laino: We're anonymizing this whole thing.
4:12
Nicole Laino: I'm not going to give you exactly what she was struggling with, but it was basically, she was like, I feel like maybe I'm just an undisciplined person.
4:18
Nicole Laino: I feel like I'm not consistent.
4:19
Nicole Laino: I feel like I can't stay motivated.
4:21
Nicole Laino: I can't stay focused.
4:23
Nicole Laino: Now, there can be so many factors in here, but we're going to focus on, you know, one key path that went through.
4:32
Nicole Laino: Okay.
4:32
Nicole Laino: I'll give you a little bonus at the end for other things that it could be that might be in your chart and then some resources for you.
4:39
Nicole Laino: All right, so before we get into the episode, I did want to let you guys know we just launched something really exciting.
4:44
Nicole Laino: It's called the Human Design Authority Lab.
4:47
Nicole Laino: This is like a human design gym for you and your business.
4:51
Nicole Laino: It is super accessible it has monthly masterclasses with me, co working sessions with my team.
4:57
Nicole Laino: You know, a community of people who are doing this is honestly one of the most beneficial things in human design is hearing other people talk about what they're going through, seeing what they're doing, seeing them get coached, seeing them work through it.
5:10
Nicole Laino: You start to get so much clarity just from that conversation.
5:14
Nicole Laino: So you get that and so much more.
5:17
Nicole Laino: This is a monthly membership.
5:19
Nicole Laino: There are no contracts at this time.
5:20
Nicole Laino: You can join us for a month, you can join us for a year.
5:24
Nicole Laino: Just give us 30 days notice and you cancel.
5:26
Nicole Laino: So if you want to get in on that, this is the most affordable.
5:30
Nicole Laino: We really wanted to make this accessible.
5:32
Nicole Laino: But the whole point is getting you into action.
5:34
Nicole Laino: How can you create your version of consistency in alignment with who you are so that you're doing what is needed?
5:41
Nicole Laino: And I think just becoming more and more of an emphasis of what we need to focus on in this climate in 2026 and where we are going and what we are seeing in the market, in this phenomenon that we're experiencing now, which is that people don't trust as easily as they used to, that copy isn't carrying the weight that it used to.
6:03
Nicole Laino: People are going, well, tell me more about that.
6:06
Nicole Laino: They want to have more interaction with you.
6:08
Nicole Laino: Why?
6:08
Nicole Laino: Because they're trying to feel into are you authentic?
6:11
Nicole Laino: Are you the real deal?
6:12
Nicole Laino: Because I've kissed a lot of frogs and I haven't met my prince yet.
6:16
Nicole Laino: So being authentic and knowing what is authentic to you, what's your authentic voice?
6:22
Nicole Laino: I had a client yesterday, tell me something inside one of our groups where she started to recite exactly what her human design nodes were for her niche.
6:31
Nicole Laino: And she didn't even know she was doing it.
6:33
Nicole Laino: It was just because she started to be in relationship to all of this.
6:36
Nicole Laino: She started to be coached in it and it's starting to click and she's doing it without thinking about it.
6:42
Nicole Laino: That is so exciting.
6:43
Nicole Laino: And that's how you know, oh my God.
6:45
Nicole Laino: That's why I'm here.
6:46
Nicole Laino: That's why I'm on this path.
6:48
Nicole Laino: That's why I made all these turns to get to this point.
6:50
Nicole Laino: It's super exciting and I want everyone to experience it.
6:53
Nicole Laino: I don't want anyone saying like, oh, I can't afford it.
6:55
Nicole Laino: Everybody can afford this.
6:56
Nicole Laino: So if you want to know more about it, go to nicolelaino.com lab.
7:01
Nicole Laino: You can get information there.
7:03
Nicole Laino: Or you can go to Instagram.
7:06
Nicole Laino: DM me the word lab on Instagram.
7:08
Nicole Laino: I'm icolenofficial and we'll send you the information there.
7:11
Nicole Laino: We kick officially on February 1st.
7:14
Nicole Laino: If you join earlier, you might get in on our pre sale prices.
7:17
Nicole Laino: But this is where we have founding member pricing.
7:19
Nicole Laino: If you are getting this around the time that this episode airs.
7:21
Nicole Laino: Okay, cool, cool.
7:23
Nicole Laino: I hope to see you inside.
7:25
Nicole Laino: All right.
7:25
Nicole Laino: So, you know, most people say something like this, especially when I meet them.
7:29
Nicole Laino: They'll say something like, I'm inconsistent, I can't follow through, I'm not disciplined.
7:33
Nicole Laino: And they really are.
7:34
Nicole Laino: These are people who are doing a lot, but the thing is that they're not getting a lot of results from it.
7:39
Nicole Laino: So they are starting to question their abilities and whether they're doing.
7:44
Nicole Laino: Usually it goes into am I doing enough?
7:46
Nicole Laino: Rather than saying, am I in the right energy?
7:49
Nicole Laino: Am I approaching this correctly?
7:51
Nicole Laino: Right.
7:52
Nicole Laino: And a lot of people will tell me that I get excited and then I drop it and then they question.
7:58
Nicole Laino: These are sacrals I'm talking about right now.
8:01
Nicole Laino: I got excited, I thought I was in alignment.
8:03
Nicole Laino: I did the thing, I don't want to do it anymore.
8:06
Nicole Laino: What did I do wrong?
8:08
Nicole Laino: I thought I did this right.
8:09
Nicole Laino: I thought I made the decision.
8:10
Nicole Laino: Right.
8:10
Nicole Laino: Right.
8:11
Nicole Laino: And this was sort of what was coming through with this client.
8:14
Nicole Laino: Okay.
8:15
Nicole Laino: And like, maybe you've done before.
8:18
Nicole Laino: She was starting to say, like, maybe I need a better routine.
8:21
Nicole Laino: Maybe I need more accountability.
8:23
Nicole Laino: I think I just need to like connect with more people.
8:26
Nicole Laino: And sometimes there are those things that will help, but that's not the root of the problem.
8:30
Nicole Laino: It's sort of like attacking a root cause with a symptom solution.
8:36
Nicole Laino: And, and so it might give you momentary success, but it's not going to give you lasting success.
8:41
Nicole Laino: You didn't really get to the heart of it.
8:44
Nicole Laino: You just attacked the symptom.
8:46
Nicole Laino: You attacked the fact that you're congested, but you didn't really get to the fact that it's a bacterial infection and you need to kill the bacterial infection.
8:54
Nicole Laino: Right.
8:54
Nicole Laino: That's still going.
8:55
Nicole Laino: So it keeps coming back in some way.
8:57
Nicole Laino: And human design, what it does, it can course correct you.
9:00
Nicole Laino: Right.
9:01
Nicole Laino: So most people don't need a better plan.
9:04
Nicole Laino: They need to make decisions not from their not self.
9:08
Nicole Laino: That's usually the problem is that the not self is coming in and making the decision and the not self won't stick around and continue for you there.
9:18
Nicole Laino: Okay.
9:19
Nicole Laino: That's not going to stay.
9:21
Nicole Laino: That's not going to provide the sustainability.
9:23
Nicole Laino: Okay.
9:25
Nicole Laino: So when you're a sacral, our magic is that we have sustainable energy.
9:31
Nicole Laino: We can Go and go and go.
9:34
Nicole Laino: That's provided that there is response.
9:37
Nicole Laino: If there's no response, we don't get to go and go and go.
9:41
Nicole Laino: So if you make a decision not from your response, not from that place, not from your alignment, and you make a decision from your not self, you will not get that sustainability.
9:56
Nicole Laino: So with this client, what she was talking about, I was looking at her chart and this particular client happened to have an open root center and then she also had an open head center.
10:08
Nicole Laino: And so we started to talk about what these things are.
10:11
Nicole Laino: I'm looking for openness in the chart.
10:13
Nicole Laino: I'm looking for specific shadow patterns in the chart based on the person.
10:17
Nicole Laino: This is why sometimes it can be difficult to discuss or explain human design in like this very specific way because it is so different based on everybody's chart.
10:27
Nicole Laino: It's not always the root center because you might not have an out of alignment root center.
10:31
Nicole Laino: It might be the emotional system for you, it might be the ego for you, it might be something else.
10:38
Nicole Laino: Right?
10:39
Nicole Laino: So this based on this person.
10:42
Nicole Laino: What I was looking for was, and I asked her, I was like, you know, tell me how you ended up here.
10:50
Nicole Laino: Because what's actually happening, a lot of times the real pattern that's going on is that a lot of times mental decision making is replacing sacral response.
11:00
Nicole Laino: We're thinking through things.
11:02
Nicole Laino: Oh actually this client has a defined head, so she's thinking all the time.
11:07
Nicole Laino: And it was an undefined route, right?
11:09
Nicole Laino: So the decision, if it's made from thinking, I don't care whether you have definition or not up there.
11:15
Nicole Laino: Human design teaches us that the mind is not for decisions.
11:18
Nicole Laino: The mind is a tool for inspiration.
11:22
Nicole Laino: It is a tool to make, to come up with ideas, to have opinions, to have insights, to form realizations, rationalizations, to come up with all of these cool theories and things like that.
11:34
Nicole Laino: But it's not here to decide.
11:36
Nicole Laino: It's not here to decide.
11:37
Nicole Laino: And no matter what, if we get caught in thinking, if you have a defined head, that's going to be pressure all the time.
11:43
Nicole Laino: And if you have an undefined head, that's going to be mental pressure that's coming from the outside world maybe where maybe somebody else told you should care about something and you've become obsessed about caring about that thing and has absolutely no bearing on your life.
11:57
Nicole Laino: So it's distracting you from what is your correct path, right?
12:01
Nicole Laino: So what happens is if a decision is made.
12:05
Nicole Laino: So like for her open route, the open root center Always feels like you're running out of time.
12:12
Nicole Laino: This is also pressure.
12:13
Nicole Laino: It's adrenalized pressure.
12:15
Nicole Laino: So what's normally happening here is somebody experiences pressure from something in their life, right.
12:24
Nicole Laino: I need to make payroll this month.
12:27
Nicole Laino: I'm running out of time.
12:30
Nicole Laino: I'm feeling like I don't have the answer.
12:32
Nicole Laino: I don't know what strategy I'm going to use.
12:35
Nicole Laino: So there's anxiety that comes up with that, which can be emotional.
12:39
Nicole Laino: But that pressure to figure something out, to do something is so uncomfortable.
12:45
Nicole Laino: The mind kicks in and says, this sucks.
12:48
Nicole Laino: This is really uncomfortable.
12:50
Nicole Laino: We've got to do something now because for most of us it feels more comfortable to do something than to not do something.
12:57
Nicole Laino: So we pick something and we try to do something.
13:00
Nicole Laino: And if you're a sacral, you have energy.
13:02
Nicole Laino: If you're a sacral, your sacral motor will run for a bit.
13:07
Nicole Laino: It's still there, but you won't get the sustainability from it.
13:12
Nicole Laino: So a lot of sacrals that come to me and say, I don't feel like a generator, I feel more like a projector.
13:18
Nicole Laino: My first question to them is asking them, well, what are you doing?
13:22
Nicole Laino: Tell me about what you're doing.
13:24
Nicole Laino: Because that's not normal.
13:26
Nicole Laino: It's like a doctor if a 17 year old comes in and says that they're sleepy all the time and they have no energy and they feel fatigue, that's not normal for a teenager to feel who's getting a good night's sleep.
13:39
Nicole Laino: Tell me about what you're doing, what are you eating?
13:41
Nicole Laino: That's the same thing.
13:42
Nicole Laino: It's not normal for a sacral to feel like they don't have any energy or to feel like they can't stay with things.
13:51
Nicole Laino: You have to go back to the beginning.
13:53
Nicole Laino: You have to go back to like, well, tell me how you got to this place where you're doing this thing.
13:58
Nicole Laino: And I want you to be in response to the thing right now and see if you have energy for it.
14:04
Nicole Laino: Now it's not a thought, it's a feeling, it's an engine kicking on.
14:10
Nicole Laino: So when we get into one of these pressure situations, what often happens is that the mind kicks in, says, pick something.
14:15
Nicole Laino: Now we take action to reduce that feeling of pressure that feels so uncomfortable to us.
14:21
Nicole Laino: We just need to get rid of it.
14:23
Nicole Laino: So we do something.
14:24
Nicole Laino: So we override the sacral response.
14:27
Nicole Laino: And we are taking action from pressure.
14:30
Nicole Laino: And if it's openness, we're taking action from an open place, which is the not self.
14:38
Nicole Laino: That's not Us, that's not our power, that's not our thing.
14:42
Nicole Laino: That is our feeling of I can't control this and the only thing I can do to control it is do something.
14:49
Nicole Laino: So I'm going to take action.
14:50
Nicole Laino: I'm not going to wait for my sacral to respond because I'm not even thinking about that.
14:55
Nicole Laino: I'm not grounded, I'm ungrounded.
14:57
Nicole Laino: So I'm making a decision from a place of fear and discomfort rather than from groundedness and power.
15:08
Nicole Laino: I always say the not self, anything that is not your power and not your strategy and authority is the tail wagging the dog.
15:17
Nicole Laino: The dog is your strategy and authority, the dog is your definition.
15:22
Nicole Laino: That is everything that you are here to put out.
15:24
Nicole Laino: It's what you're here to trust all the time.
15:27
Nicole Laino: The other stuff, you can't trust it.
15:29
Nicole Laino: You can't trust something that's open because it might be on for a bit and then it's gone.
15:34
Nicole Laino: Can't trust it.
15:35
Nicole Laino: Not sustainable.
15:36
Nicole Laino: Might not be there the next time you go looking for it, right?
15:39
Nicole Laino: Might be there for a good time.
15:41
Nicole Laino: Sort of like if you had, if you wanted to date this person that you knew was super unreliable, left town, totally like ditched you lots of times.
15:50
Nicole Laino: She sure, if the sex is great and you want to have a great time for a night and have it be nothing more than that, by all means, have at it.
15:58
Nicole Laino: But don't expect the ring to pop out.
16:00
Nicole Laino: Don't be thinking about a forever together.
16:03
Nicole Laino: That's what it's like going into business with your not self.
16:07
Nicole Laino: You cannot count on it and it is not you and it's not your genius and it's not your magic.
16:12
Nicole Laino: So you're not going to be attracting and magnetizing the way that we want to.
16:15
Nicole Laino: And we want to use our energy to draw in the things that are correct for us, right?
16:19
Nicole Laino: So sacral, when your sacral isn't in because it was never asked, pressure made that decision.
16:26
Nicole Laino: Sacral did not.
16:27
Nicole Laino: So now your sacral is not in on that decision.
16:30
Nicole Laino: Your energy will drop and now your interest disappears.
16:34
Nicole Laino: Because the life force energy that creates sustainable momentum and consistency for you, which is going to create consistency for you in that project.
16:43
Nicole Laino: It's also going to create consistency for you in your life.
16:46
Nicole Laino: Because the sacral is the thing that gives you a good night's sleep, that allows you to wake up the next day and feel energized, to hit the day again, to be clear in your mind, because that is the source of all of your vitality.
17:05
Nicole Laino: Comes from the sacral.
17:07
Nicole Laino: If it's run down, and I've said this before on the show a million times, but I'll say it again.
17:12
Nicole Laino: If you're doing something that the sacral is turned on for, it will go and go and go for you.
17:19
Nicole Laino: If you're doing something that sacral either said no to flat out or was not asked, so nobody ever turned it on, what you're going to do is you're going to drain that sustainable battery that you have.
17:32
Nicole Laino: It's going to pull more energy.
17:35
Nicole Laino: It's like if you left the lights on in your car, so the car wasn't running, but you still left like the lights on, you left like the light, interior light on in your car.
17:45
Nicole Laino: So when you went outside to start it the next day it wouldn't start.
17:49
Nicole Laino: And you're like, I didn't even drive it.
17:51
Nicole Laino: I didn't even do anything.
17:52
Nicole Laino: What's going on?
17:52
Nicole Laino: It was just sitting here.
17:54
Nicole Laino: Yeah, but you left something on that was pulling energy from it.
17:58
Nicole Laino: That's like what it's like when you are working on something without sacral buy in, with.
18:04
Nicole Laino: Without sacral buy in, you are draining your battery and this is where you will become tired.
18:09
Nicole Laino: This is where you will not be energized by your work.
18:12
Nicole Laino: And when you start questioning everything, here's what happens, here's the pattern that happens.
18:16
Nicole Laino: Now you start questioning things now in your mind.
18:20
Nicole Laino: You go to your mind again because now you're scared.
18:23
Nicole Laino: It didn't work.
18:24
Nicole Laino: I don't know.
18:24
Nicole Laino: Now you're back in your head again.
18:26
Nicole Laino: Now you're really not making decisions from your power.
18:29
Nicole Laino: Now you're in your head.
18:31
Nicole Laino: Now the mind is winning.
18:32
Nicole Laino: Now I don't see the mind as the enemy.
18:35
Nicole Laino: I don't see the mind as like this sinister thing, but it does like control because we've given it control and it's used to having control and it doesn't want to give it back.
18:45
Nicole Laino: Your brain wants to take over.
18:48
Nicole Laino: This is what keeps you in a state of stress.
18:50
Nicole Laino: And this is why when something isn't working, you immediately go to your thoughts to try to figure out, well, what's the next thing that I can do?
18:57
Nicole Laino: So this is like there's so much to this, but this is how this creates a pattern with people that never seems to end.
19:07
Nicole Laino: And it usually makes you feel really disempowered.
19:11
Nicole Laino: So this is how we start to unwind this stuff.
19:14
Nicole Laino: Like as I was talking to this particular client, I was explaining this to her and she's like, okay, this is really making a lot of sense.
19:21
Nicole Laino: When we work with human design, what we're really doing is we're learning a new way to relate to ourselves and our situation.
19:28
Nicole Laino: Instead of looking at the outside world and then making a criticism of ourselves for being or, you know, rewarding ourselves even for, you know, being good or not good at something instead of that, it gets us checking in with ourselves inwardly.
19:44
Nicole Laino: That didn't work.
19:45
Nicole Laino: Where did that come from?
19:46
Nicole Laino: How am I feeling about this?
19:48
Nicole Laino: It's changing the way that your nervous system is relating to your situation.
19:55
Nicole Laino: Because this is the other thing that, you know, I think a lot of high level entrepreneurs understand this.
20:00
Nicole Laino: I know a lot of energy people understand this, but feel like there's still a disconnect between the practical application of how your nervous system is showing up in your business versus, like theorizing about it on podcasts.
20:14
Nicole Laino: Even like this survival mode.
20:17
Nicole Laino: When you're in survival mode, and that can be, you know, that can have a range.
20:21
Nicole Laino: Survival mode could be, you know, I'm running out of money, or it could just be like, you know, I can feel it where I shift into anxiety, where I'll be like, oh, I'm not going to hit the same number that I did last month and I have to let go of that.
20:34
Nicole Laino: But anything that causes you to have fear or anxiety or worry about your survival or, you know, and your survival could just be that your income dropped, doesn't have to be that there is none.
20:48
Nicole Laino: Anything that puts you into a state of fear.
20:50
Nicole Laino: But when you're in survival mode, what it does is usually make you chase certainty.
20:55
Nicole Laino: And that's why clarity becomes like a coping strategy.
20:58
Nicole Laino: I'm looking for answers.
20:59
Nicole Laino: I'm looking for answers.
21:00
Nicole Laino: I'm looking for answers.
21:02
Nicole Laino: 70% of the world has an undefined head center.
21:05
Nicole Laino: So looking for answers is a real trap for those of us who have that.
21:11
Nicole Laino: One way that I have dealt with having an open head and needing answers is through coaching.
21:18
Nicole Laino: Hiring my own coaches, hiring really good ones that I trust.
21:23
Nicole Laino: I can't say I always get that right.
21:25
Nicole Laino: I do my best, but the people that I invest with, who can give me their experience, their processes, their resources for me to interact with, calms me down.
21:38
Nicole Laino: Where I'm like, okay, I can get what I need when I need it.
21:41
Nicole Laino: I'm not thinking about that stuff.
21:42
Nicole Laino: It stops that chatter and that spinning in my brain of like, what am I going to do and how am I going to do it?
21:47
Nicole Laino: I don't chase clarity anymore.
21:49
Nicole Laino: It's like okay, I could go and I can dip into resources if I need them.
21:52
Nicole Laino: It sets me at ease.
21:55
Nicole Laino: An at ease nervous system or regulated nervous system is what allows me to make decisions from my sacral because if I am triggered then I won't be able to be brilliant in that state.
22:07
Nicole Laino: I can't be grounded and I can't make decisions from the correct place because fear takes over.
22:14
Nicole Laino: Okay, so this is why, you know, when we force these decisions, it's temporary relief, but it's long term instability and it's a cycle that keeps continuing because then we get scared again.
22:26
Nicole Laino: It doesn't work, we question ourselves and now we're triggered again.
22:31
Nicole Laino: So having tools to first of all be able to come back to safety and be able to ground yourself in something that feels solid in your own body is not an option.
22:42
Nicole Laino: It's required at this point.
22:45
Nicole Laino: So if were to break this down in steps for how to come back, it is to remove the urgency, to kind of get.
22:54
Nicole Laino: You have to be able to take a pause.
22:55
Nicole Laino: If you are reactive, then you are going to continue to make decisions from your not self.
23:01
Nicole Laino: If you're reactive then you know, whether you have bridging gates or you have open centers or whatever your human design map is telling you about what your kind of incorrect decision making pattern might be.
23:14
Nicole Laino: If you have an open solar plexus, it might be like to avoid confrontation.
23:18
Nicole Laino: It might be like this is going to be uncomfortable, so I'm just going to avoid that.
23:21
Nicole Laino: And it's shhh.
23:22
Nicole Laino: Showing you something.
23:23
Nicole Laino: The chart provides a map.
23:25
Nicole Laino: But this urgency where you're not deciding from panic, that you're not deciding from disempowerment.
23:33
Nicole Laino: Because when we create or move out of lack, take action out of lack, we get more lack.
23:41
Nicole Laino: So the first step is that you really have to break this down and come back to a place of safety.
23:48
Nicole Laino: That's step two.
23:49
Nicole Laino: So the first step is to remove that urgency.
23:53
Nicole Laino: Because the truth is that in this moment, unless you are mortally wounded, I know it might feel like things are bad.
24:03
Nicole Laino: Maybe you're worried about whether you can pay your bills, maybe you're worried about whether your relationship will be okay.
24:09
Nicole Laino: Whatever it is that's worrying you, it isn't happening right in this very moment.
24:14
Nicole Laino: There's not mortal danger in this very moment.
24:17
Nicole Laino: So if you can come back to that.
24:20
Nicole Laino: One of my favorite books by Ram Dass, it's called Be Here Now.
24:24
Nicole Laino: And this is why meditation, visualization, all of these things, breath work, bring you back to the present moment.
24:32
Nicole Laino: And why that's so powerful is that no matter what is happening in your world, how bad it is in this very moment, right now, I'm okay.
24:44
Nicole Laino: So that first step is to just remember that.
24:47
Nicole Laino: So even if like the stress is that, you know, it isn't working, that might be tomorrow, that might be the next day.
24:55
Nicole Laino: There's always something.
24:56
Nicole Laino: But right now, I'm okay, I'm breathing, I have air in my lungs.
25:01
Nicole Laino: I'm here.
25:02
Nicole Laino: I'm grateful.
25:03
Nicole Laino: Like, can you come back to that place and restore safety?
25:09
Nicole Laino: Restore safety in some way?
25:10
Nicole Laino: Because truthfully, what usually happens is, you know, we're restoring safety by like, you know, permission to stop feeling like you need to be consistent.
25:19
Nicole Laino: Can you take one action now?
25:21
Nicole Laino: Can you do one thing now?
25:23
Nicole Laino: I always say that if it has to do with money, usually the reason that we're not making money is that we're not asking for it.
25:29
Nicole Laino: We're not asking for the sale enough.
25:30
Nicole Laino: We aren't being open enough about it.
25:33
Nicole Laino: If you want to make more sales, ask for the sale more.
25:37
Nicole Laino: That is a really age old marketing and sales saying, and it is for a reason.
25:43
Nicole Laino: And I don't care what your design is, you can always send an email saying, I've got this thing.
25:48
Nicole Laino: Here's the link.
25:48
Nicole Laino: If you want to buy it, you could drop a story on Instagram that says, hey, I'm doing this cool thing.
25:54
Nicole Laino: You want to get in?
25:55
Nicole Laino: DM me this word.
25:57
Nicole Laino: You can do all of that and you can start to feel successful again.
26:02
Nicole Laino: We don't want success to come from the outside world.
26:05
Nicole Laino: But the reality is sometimes we need to show ourselves that we are in more control of it.
26:08
Nicole Laino: And it isn't about necessarily taking massive action over days and days and weeks and weeks and doing the same thing over and over again.
26:16
Nicole Laino: That feels impossible.
26:17
Nicole Laino: So we want to restore that safety.
26:19
Nicole Laino: Take one action that could lead to something good, to something that you want, show yourself success as possible, and then return to response.
26:29
Nicole Laino: So what response really looks like is wait for your body to give you a signal about something and you have to start to figure out how you can engineer that.
26:41
Nicole Laino: So if you have something that you've been trying to do and it's not working, first of all, ask yourself, why do I want to do this thing?
26:48
Nicole Laino: Why do I feel like I need to do this?
26:50
Nicole Laino: Why does this feel like something that must be done?
26:54
Nicole Laino: Because a lot of times there's things we think we have to do and we just don't.
26:57
Nicole Laino: Someone told us to do it.
26:58
Nicole Laino: It sounded like a good idea.
27:00
Nicole Laino: Somebody else was doing it.
27:01
Nicole Laino: So we decided that were going to try it.
27:03
Nicole Laino: But it really wasn't something that was our choice.
27:07
Nicole Laino: So let it go.
27:08
Nicole Laino: But be in relationship to the thing and wait for it.
27:12
Nicole Laino: Like look at it.
27:13
Nicole Laino: Be like, do I want to do this right now?
27:15
Nicole Laino: Yes or no?
27:16
Nicole Laino: Feel if your body kicks on.
27:19
Nicole Laino: Feel if your body says yes.
27:21
Nicole Laino: Feel if your body is giving you any indication that this seems fun.
27:26
Nicole Laino: And the other thing I would do is let's just pay attention to what your sacral does respond to.
27:31
Nicole Laino: You know, you can go out and you could do something that just is totally fun.
27:37
Nicole Laino: I say like the simple things could be a walk.
27:40
Nicole Laino: It could be drive with the windows down on a beautiful day, playing your favorite music, dancing.
27:48
Nicole Laino: Simple things that just make you where you at least feel what it feels like for your sacral to turn on you to know what that motor feels like.
27:58
Nicole Laino: We've all experienced it.
27:59
Nicole Laino: If you're a sacral that's walked around just never having their sacral on, of course it is.
28:03
Nicole Laino: It's just, it's happening when you're like roller skating or doing something exciting and fun.
28:10
Nicole Laino: And it does happen when we work.
28:12
Nicole Laino: It just doesn't happen when we do every single thing in our business at the time that we scheduled it for.
28:18
Nicole Laino: So you have to ask yourself, do I not want to do this now or do I not want to do this at all?
28:24
Nicole Laino: Is there something else I could do that feels better?
28:27
Nicole Laino: And then be in response to that.
28:29
Nicole Laino: Go have a conversation with somebody and see what comes out of that conversation.
28:34
Nicole Laino: See if you start to get excited about something, have them ask you questions about the thing that you're doing.
28:39
Nicole Laino: But release your idea of what consistency needs to look like.
28:42
Nicole Laino: I think this is really important because when you get into this cycle, this can really cause a lot of self judgment and we can lose confidence and that is going to have some long term negative effects.
28:55
Nicole Laino: So really what you want to do is redefine what consistency is.
29:00
Nicole Laino: I create a lot of space on my calendar now for joy, for me to do what I want.
29:07
Nicole Laino: And sometimes it's just to do nothing.
29:09
Nicole Laino: And that feels like the best.
29:11
Nicole Laino: But what happens there?
29:13
Nicole Laino: Because I'm giving my sacral what I want, what it wants, I'm able to go.
29:18
Nicole Laino: And because my motor is kind of on most of the time when I go to do something else, it's like, yeah, sure, I'll do that.
29:26
Nicole Laino: You guys, if you've been listening to the show for a Long time.
29:29
Nicole Laino: You know, you've probably heard me use this analogy before, but if I asked my husband to go to the mall, if I was like, can you come with me to Sephora?
29:40
Nicole Laino: And then I want to go try some clothes on in Nordstrom for a while and.
29:44
Nicole Laino: And then I was going to stop at Anina Bing and I just had this whole thing where I was like, I want to do all of this stuff.
29:50
Nicole Laino: My husband would be like, I want to die.
29:51
Nicole Laino: You should go by yourself.
29:52
Nicole Laino: I don't want any part of this.
29:54
Nicole Laino: And if I made him go, he'd be sulking and he would probably ruin it for both of us, to tell you the truth.
30:00
Nicole Laino: He would just be like, are you done yet?
30:01
Nicole Laino: Are you done yet?
30:02
Nicole Laino: Are you done yet?
30:03
Nicole Laino: And I'd be like, fine, I'm done.
30:05
Nicole Laino: Okay, we can go home now.
30:08
Nicole Laino: He'd be like, I'll go get the car.
30:10
Nicole Laino: That's his move.
30:11
Nicole Laino: I'm gonna go get the car.
30:12
Nicole Laino: I'm gonna bring the car around.
30:13
Nicole Laino: Because he's like, I can't be here anymore, right?
30:16
Nicole Laino: But if I were to take him to the guitar shop and buy him a guitar and watch him play it and I did his thing for a while and then he's in such a good mood and feels so grateful and is having such a great time and I let him keep the guitar and take it with us and he'll be like, you want to come?
30:35
Nicole Laino: I'm just going to go into this store for a bit.
30:37
Nicole Laino: You could sit outside with your guitar.
30:38
Nicole Laino: You'd be like, cool.
30:39
Nicole Laino: Take all the time you need.
30:40
Nicole Laino: Keep playing.
30:41
Nicole Laino: That's your sacral.
30:42
Nicole Laino: Give it what it wants.
30:43
Nicole Laino: Romance it a bit, give it some energy, get it on, turn it on.
30:50
Nicole Laino: It's a turn on motor.
30:52
Nicole Laino: That's what it's about.
30:53
Nicole Laino: Most people are not turning it on and pay attention.
30:58
Nicole Laino: Are you making decisions from not your power.
31:02
Nicole Laino: Whatever your openness is.
31:04
Nicole Laino: If you have a small split, it's going to be your bridging gates that you want to look out for the most.
31:11
Nicole Laino: If you are most of the other types, it's going to be your open centers is where you are going to have the trap of having decisions trying to be made from those places.
31:21
Nicole Laino: I have an open G center.
31:22
Nicole Laino: I need to be loved.
31:23
Nicole Laino: I need people to like me.
31:25
Nicole Laino: Maybe that's causing you to feel like you need to be on social media all the time and.
31:30
Nicole Laino: And to get people to like you.
31:31
Nicole Laino: And when you put something up and they don't like you, that feels very personal to you.
31:36
Nicole Laino: So it Breaks your heart a bit.
31:37
Nicole Laino: Now you don't want to show up there anymore.
31:39
Nicole Laino: It can't be for that.
31:41
Nicole Laino: It has to be for something else.
31:42
Nicole Laino: So making content from that place, not going to work to be liked, not going to work, but making content.
31:48
Nicole Laino: Because you are so into this topic, into this thing that you are in response to, into this thing, like you're just like, oh, I need to talk about this.
31:56
Nicole Laino: And social media just becomes a place that you put it.
31:59
Nicole Laino: Now you'll have absolutely no problem seeing that through.
32:02
Nicole Laino: That'll take you 10 minutes to write.
32:04
Nicole Laino: It'll beautiful.
32:05
Nicole Laino: You'll probably get the best engagement that you get on anything else because it came from this true place.
32:11
Nicole Laino: And it will feel like, oh, I want to do it again because now it'll be fun.
32:15
Nicole Laino: Big, big difference.
32:16
Nicole Laino: This is how you create from alignment, in alignment with your design.
32:21
Nicole Laino: And that is the first way is how you create and drive yourself into a whole from your not self.
32:29
Nicole Laino: All of this is what we are covering in the Human Design Authority Lab.
32:33
Nicole Laino: It's all going to be about putting yourself out there and being seen as an authority by you.
32:39
Nicole Laino: Just being in alignment with who you are and actually putting it into action.
32:43
Nicole Laino: How can we create consistency that looks right for you, where you get to be visible, but you're visible for being you and you're taking action and you're doing this and you're getting into your rhythm of taking action from a truly aligned place.
32:57
Nicole Laino: That is the mandate for this membership.
33:00
Nicole Laino: If you're interested in that, no matter what design you are, we cover you all, we serve you all.
33:06
Nicole Laino: All you have to do to find out more is go to nicolelaino.com lab or go to Instagram.
33:12
Nicole Laino: I'm icoleno official and DM me the word lab and we'll send you the details there.
33:18
Nicole Laino: This is super cheap.
33:19
Nicole Laino: Nobody should be saying that they can't afford this offer.
33:23
Nicole Laino: We made this incredibly accessible and prices will go up as time goes on because this is only going to get more and more valuable because every month I'm doing a specific masterclass just, you know, right inside that group that is going to be added to the membership.
33:40
Nicole Laino: And so six months from now, there'll be six masterclasses in there.
33:43
Nicole Laino: So now is the time to get in where you can get in for the lowest price and be on the journey with us and be aligned in no time.
33:52
Nicole Laino: Okay.
33:52
Nicole Laino: And taking action.
33:54
Nicole Laino: All right.
33:54
Nicole Laino: Hope to see you inside the lab.
33:56
Nicole Laino: Super excited about this.
33:58
Nicole Laino: I hope that we get to serve you in there now.
34:01
Nicole Laino: Remember, in order to have an unshakable business, you must first become an unshakable human.
34:06
Nicole Laino: So thanks for letting us help you become unshakable with human design.
34:09
Nicole Laino: We'll see you next time.
34:11
Nicole Laino: If you love this episode and you're a fan of the show, please show us the love on itunes, Spotify, or wherever you're listening to the show and link.
34:16
Nicole Laino: Leave us a review and if you'd like to connect with other entrepreneurs on their human design journey, join our free Facebook community, Human Design for Entrepreneurs.
34:24
Nicole Laino: Go to nicolelaino Me Podcastlinks to join the group, book a human design reading with me or access our free human design resources.
34:33
Nicole Laino: We'll see you there.