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The Fifth Hour: The Maller Matchmaker · The Ben Maller Show

0:00
Speaker 1: Kabbooms.
0:02
Speaker 2: If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
0:05
Speaker 2: a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
0:09
Speaker 2: of the old Republic, a sore fashion of fairness. He
0:12
Speaker 2: treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
0:15
Speaker 2: rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow, it's a clearinghouse
0:19
Speaker 2: of hot takes. Break free for something special. The Fifth
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Speaker 2: Hour with Ben Mahller starts right now.
0:29
Speaker 1: In the air everywhere. The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben
0:35
Speaker 1: Mahler and you know who you are. We are united
0:38
Speaker 1: again on the Friday podcast. This not to be confused
0:43
Speaker 1: with the original recipe podcast. No No, No, Praise the Heavens.
0:48
Speaker 1: This is the add on item if you are a
0:51
Speaker 1: Malard Plus subscriber. Wink wink, nod nod. Unlike Wayne the
0:56
Speaker 1: Curmudgeon in du Luth, we gave you special access to
1:01
Speaker 1: this a little earlier. It is the two hundred and
1:03
Speaker 1: thirty third day of the year. There are my computer,
1:05
Speaker 1: like brain tells me, one hundred and thirty two days
1:08
Speaker 1: left in the calendar year. And as you likely saw
1:13
Speaker 1: already if you read the description of this podcast, it's
1:18
Speaker 1: the Malor Matchmaker Edition. Not what you might think. Not
1:24
Speaker 1: what you might think. So we'll have that, and if
1:27
Speaker 1: we have time, we will get to some other things
1:30
Speaker 1: that we have on our agenda, including drinking the kool
1:34
Speaker 1: aid yet again. I feel like we do this every week.
1:37
Speaker 1: We'll do it yet again, and who knows what else
1:39
Speaker 1: we begin. Though, in a land far far away, there
1:45
Speaker 1: is a magical kingdom called Baltimore. Okay, so a magical
1:51
Speaker 1: kingdom likely is over selling Baltimore. I have not spent
1:56
Speaker 1: any time in Baltimore. I know a lot about it,
1:59
Speaker 1: I just haven't spent any time there. I understand there
2:01
Speaker 1: is no Cinderella Castle. I don't think you'll find the
2:05
Speaker 1: enchanted forest in the suburbs of Baltimore. There's no talking
2:10
Speaker 1: tea cups. There is Camden Yards. I do want to
2:14
Speaker 1: get the Camden Yards at some point looks like a
2:16
Speaker 1: beautiful place to watch a baseball game. I know the
2:19
Speaker 1: crabcakes or legendary the Old Bay seasoning. Kentucky Fried Chicken
2:26
Speaker 1: talks about eleven herbs and spices. Well, how about the
2:29
Speaker 1: blend of eleven herbs and spices that they have the
2:33
Speaker 1: Old Bay seasoning which goes back, way way way back,
2:36
Speaker 1: and a lot of people. When you watch a baseball game,
2:41
Speaker 1: a lot of people wearing enough orange to make a
2:45
Speaker 1: traffic cone feel like they're underdressed. So there's a lot
2:48
Speaker 1: of that in Baltimore, and on this particular night the
2:52
Speaker 1: other night, while the New York Yankees and the Baltimore Orioles,
2:57
Speaker 1: we're playing a major league game in the American League East,
3:02
Speaker 1: in this magical kingdom. I was roughly two thousand, three
3:06
Speaker 1: hundred miles away at the Malor Mansion in the north Woods,
3:11
Speaker 1: minding my own business as I normally do, lying on
3:15
Speaker 1: the sofa. I had made some tacos, crunchy tacos the
3:20
Speaker 1: top taco as my meal, and I was doing what
3:24
Speaker 1: I do pretty much every day, trying to take over
3:26
Speaker 1: the world, preparing to do an overnight sports talk radio show.
3:32
Speaker 1: And my dog, Moxie, my beloved English bulldog, was asleep
3:36
Speaker 1: across my legs, not worried about anything, snoring away, farting,
3:41
Speaker 1: occasionally doing it at the same time. This is my world.
3:44
Speaker 1: You hear about some of the legends of all time.
3:48
Speaker 1: I remember when I was in school, and I didn't
3:50
Speaker 1: really pay attention much in school except when they talked
3:52
Speaker 1: about broadcasting and that world, and Walter Kronkite had a newsroom.
3:59
Speaker 1: You know that news mean there's a whole journalism department
4:03
Speaker 1: at Arizona State named after Walter Kronkai right, had the newsroom.
4:06
Speaker 1: Edward R. Murrow had a cigarette in his mouth and
4:10
Speaker 1: a microphone. I have a taco and a bulldog with flatulence.
4:17
Speaker 1: That's my world. And somehow from this rather unique command center,
4:24
Speaker 1: I was about to become the Wizard of Oz of
4:29
Speaker 1: Camden Yards. Say what, Just imagine in the back they're
4:33
Speaker 1: pulling levers from behind the curtain, bringing two complete strangers
4:38
Speaker 1: together without ever leaving my sofa. A modern miracle, as
4:44
Speaker 1: Don King, the boxing promoter back in the day, used
4:48
Speaker 1: to say, only in America, Only in America. Now. It
4:51
Speaker 1: started with a simple message, my radio buddy, Sports with Coleman,
4:57
Speaker 1: Yes that Sports with Coleman, Jerry Cole, epic freeloader, epic
5:02
Speaker 1: media freeloader, renaissance man, Baltimore Media mogul, podcast guru man
5:11
Speaker 1: about Town, someone who I consider a good radio friend
5:16
Speaker 1: and also who happens to be a personal friend of
5:20
Speaker 1: Ravens quarterback Lamar Jackson. Unless that's not exactly the case,
5:26
Speaker 1: And so I'll get random messages. I'll send Jerry random messages.
5:30
Speaker 1: He sends me a message on the text from Camden
5:34
Speaker 1: Yards a photo of that beautiful warehouse. And so we're
5:38
Speaker 1: going back and forth, and we were talking about the
5:41
Speaker 1: magic Box, and so that came up, and he asked
5:44
Speaker 1: if I was watching the Orioles game versus the Yankees.
5:49
Speaker 1: I was not. I was watching another game. So naturally,
5:52
Speaker 1: because somebody two three hundred miles away asked, if you're
5:56
Speaker 1: watching something, what do you think I did? Ding ding
5:59
Speaker 1: ding ding dingy. Yeah, I turned it on. I think
6:02
Speaker 1: that's how television works in the modern days. You don't
6:05
Speaker 1: decide what to watch. Somebody texts you and as signs homework.
6:09
Speaker 1: So I flip on the game and immediately begin playing
6:13
Speaker 1: one of my favorite games. You may remember Where's Waldough?
6:18
Speaker 1: Now that's for little kids. I'm a grown ass man.
6:21
Speaker 1: I'm a grown I'm more advanced. I'm an adult. I
6:25
Speaker 1: talk about sports for a living. So I play my version,
6:30
Speaker 1: and I've played this for several years. Where in the
6:33
Speaker 1: world is Marlin's Man? Not to be confused with Where's Waldough?
6:39
Speaker 1: This is a much better version. Where in the world
6:41
Speaker 1: is Marlins Man? It's played every baseball season from April
6:45
Speaker 1: all the way through the World Series. Every baseball game,
6:48
Speaker 1: and I watch a lot of baseball. Every baseball game
6:50
Speaker 1: I watch every single time. I like clockwork, I scan
6:54
Speaker 1: the first two or three rows right behind home play
6:58
Speaker 1: looking for this middle aged or slightly older than middle
7:03
Speaker 1: aged gentleman and you know, very charitable to me. And
7:08
Speaker 1: a man wearing an orange Miami Marlin's shirt and his signature,
7:14
Speaker 1: Marlin's Visor, Marlin's Man. He's got the glasses, the whole thing.
7:18
Speaker 1: So he he shows up in orange like he's trying
7:23
Speaker 1: to see you know, if anybody cannot see him, even
7:27
Speaker 1: the blind can see him like he's He's essentially like
7:29
Speaker 1: the International Space station. That's what I'm trying to say,
7:32
Speaker 1: right and there is there is, except here's the problem.
7:36
Speaker 1: The hardest place to play my game where in the
7:39
Speaker 1: world is Marlin's Man. There's two places that are very difficult,
7:43
Speaker 1: Baltimore and San Francisco. And in Baltimore it really is
7:47
Speaker 1: the perfect place for Marlin's Man to hide. Everybody is
7:51
Speaker 1: wearing orange. He's essentially camouflaged because of the ballpark and
7:55
Speaker 1: the outfits everyone's wearing. He's like a chameleon. And it's
8:00
Speaker 1: like trying to find Waldo at a convention of people
8:04
Speaker 1: dressed as Waldo. Well, it becomes a lot harder to
8:06
Speaker 1: find Waldough when everyone's wearing a Waldo costume. But I
8:11
Speaker 1: spotted him thanks to the byfocals that I wear. Of
8:15
Speaker 1: course I spotted him. I have no discernible practical skills.
8:20
Speaker 1: I don't, but apparently I can locate Marlin's Man on
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Speaker 1: television two thousand miles away through the magic of the
8:30
Speaker 1: boob tube. And so now, for those unfamiliar, we'd like
8:34
Speaker 1: to pause this broadcast. For those unfamiliar with the legend
8:38
Speaker 1: of Marlin's Man, his legal name is Lawrence, and call
8:43
Speaker 1: him Marlin's Man or Lawrence. And he's somebody that I
8:46
Speaker 1: met because of the radio show. Yeah, is it true?
8:52
Speaker 1: Is it true that the legend that is Marlin's Man
8:55
Speaker 1: is a p one? A p one, a fan, a
8:59
Speaker 1: listener of late night sports radio. Now, back in the day,
9:04
Speaker 1: he'd be driving around late nights in Miami, all those
9:08
Speaker 1: hot spots in South Florida, and he would be cruising
9:11
Speaker 1: with the Ben Maler Show on the local radio airwaves
9:15
Speaker 1: there in South Florida. And I was introduced to Marlon's
9:18
Speaker 1: Man through a mutual friend who had worked in TV
9:21
Speaker 1: in Los Angeles, and I was like, oh, yeah, okay.
9:25
Speaker 1: He said, yeah, the guy he's a fan of yours
9:27
Speaker 1: or whatever. I thought, okay, fine. And I remember telling
9:29
Speaker 1: Eddie Garcia when Eddie used to work on the show
9:31
Speaker 1: before he was decommissioned unfortunately. And I remember talking to Eddie,
9:36
Speaker 1: and you know, we were going over the whole thing
9:38
Speaker 1: and all that, and I said, Eddie, this guy's a
9:40
Speaker 1: fan of the show, and he said, I, he's not.
9:42
Speaker 1: Eddie was convinced I was lying. He always thought I
9:45
Speaker 1: was lying. Why would I lie about that? Seriously, of
9:47
Speaker 1: all the things to lie about in life, there's a
9:49
Speaker 1: lot of things to lie about. Why would you lie
9:50
Speaker 1: about that? If I were inventing celebrity listeners, wouldn't I go?
9:55
Speaker 1: And not that there's anything against marlins Man. I love
9:57
Speaker 1: marlins Man, but why would I not go higher than that?
10:00
Speaker 1: Why I say, hey, Eddie, George Clooney loved Our three
10:03
Speaker 1: last night. I thought it was really good. And Brad
10:05
Speaker 1: pitt Enjoys pucked the world. Yeah, you pucking idiot, you
10:08
Speaker 1: know you mother pucker that No, I picked Marlin's Man
10:13
Speaker 1: right or he picked me, but it was true. And
10:16
Speaker 1: Lawrence does listen to the show. Every time I'm run
10:19
Speaker 1: into him. I've been fortunate enough. He's invited me to
10:21
Speaker 1: sit next to him at Dodger games a few times
10:23
Speaker 1: over the years, and Lawrence listens to the show. He'll
10:26
Speaker 1: ask questions about the show. You know, he doesn't think
10:28
Speaker 1: the show is good without Eddie. I agree with him.
10:31
Speaker 1: I agree with him. And he'll travel around the country
10:34
Speaker 1: sitting behind home played at major sporting events, and he's
10:36
Speaker 1: always right there and typically does the national TV games
10:40
Speaker 1: on Fox and NBC and all that, and it's great.
10:45
Speaker 1: You know, he's essentially living the life Bob Uker dreamed
10:49
Speaker 1: of when I was like nine years old, those Miller
10:53
Speaker 1: Lite commercials. I must be in the front room. Well
10:58
Speaker 1: it turns out Marlin's Man actually is in the front row. Now. Meanwhile,
11:04
Speaker 1: I'm in the back row of the Malor mansion in
11:08
Speaker 1: the living room and I'm watching the game, and suddenly
11:14
Speaker 1: I noticed Lawrence. He gets up to leave. I'm like,
11:16
Speaker 1: what the hell's going on? So I did what anyone
11:18
Speaker 1: would do. I text him, said, where are you going?
11:21
Speaker 1: Where do you think you are going. I don't see you,
11:25
Speaker 1: you know, because apparently i'm his mother. Now it's only
11:28
Speaker 1: around the fourth inning. You don't leave your seat. This
11:30
Speaker 1: is a very expensive seat. You don't leave your seat
11:32
Speaker 1: like that at the fourth inning. You can't leave. There's
11:35
Speaker 1: baseball happening. People paid money for this. You paid money
11:39
Speaker 1: for this. So he text me back, going to get
11:42
Speaker 1: a nice sandwich at a deli. There's a good deli
11:43
Speaker 1: apparently at Camden Yards. That's what he said. Okay, So
11:47
Speaker 1: now I'm monitoring another adult sandwich movements from my malar
11:54
Speaker 1: compound in southern California. Guys wandering around the ballpark there
11:58
Speaker 1: in Maryland. And you see, this is where technology has
12:04
Speaker 1: taken us. Okay. Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone, and
12:10
Speaker 1: somewhere along the way it became so advanced that it
12:14
Speaker 1: allows a middle age slightly above that bald radio dope
12:23
Speaker 1: to lie underneath an English bulldog and track a Pastrami
12:29
Speaker 1: sandwich and matzabal soup. Itinerary of a man dressed like
12:33
Speaker 1: a highway construction barrel out there on the road in Baltimore.
12:40
Speaker 1: That's called progress. Now at this point, I am texting
12:45
Speaker 1: sports with Coleman, I'm texting marlins Man. We're both we're
12:52
Speaker 1: going back, all three of us again on both of us.
12:53
Speaker 1: All three of us are going back and forth. They
12:56
Speaker 1: happen to be they happen to be at the same
12:58
Speaker 1: baseball game. They don't know each other, and suddenly, for
13:02
Speaker 1: some reason this bothers me, like why, I have no idea,
13:06
Speaker 1: but I decided to turn this into the Malard Matchmaker
13:10
Speaker 1: Friend Edition, the Malord Matchmaker Friend Edition. So I text
13:16
Speaker 1: Jerry Sports with Coleman. I say, hey, Marlin's Man is
13:20
Speaker 1: at the game, and he knows, of course one of
13:23
Speaker 1: his friends ran into marlins Man. Of course he knows.
13:26
Speaker 1: Jerry knows everything that goes on in Baltimore. He knows
13:29
Speaker 1: where all the bodies are buried, he knows where the
13:31
Speaker 1: gold Bouyon is hidden. He knows everything and everybody. However,
13:38
Speaker 1: he's not marlins Man, right, and he doesn't know Marlin's Man.
13:42
Speaker 1: And the guy dresses like a traffic cone and sits
13:45
Speaker 1: behind home plate. As we've said, so I asked Jerry
13:48
Speaker 1: via text, would you like to meet marlins Man? And
13:53
Speaker 1: Jerry's like, he took me a little while to get back,
13:55
Speaker 1: took him a little while to get back. He says, sure.
13:57
Speaker 1: Then I text Lawrence aka Marlins Man. I said, Hey,
14:00
Speaker 1: would you like to meet my buddy Jerry. He's a
14:02
Speaker 1: big media bogul in Baltimore. We are personal friend of
14:06
Speaker 1: Lamar Jackson. Bl I can to do a whole spiel. Sure,
14:09
Speaker 1: why not? And suddenly I am two thousand, three hundred
14:13
Speaker 1: miles as the crow flies away from Baltimore in LA
14:18
Speaker 1: and I am like a long distance landlord who lost
14:22
Speaker 1: the keys. Wai La presto, razzle dazzle time it happened.
14:29
Speaker 1: And here's the crazy part. I was able to watch
14:32
Speaker 1: this interaction play out on live television, thinking about that.
14:36
Speaker 1: I am sitting on my sofa again. Moxie is on
14:40
Speaker 1: my legs. The tacos I'm eating. My dignity disappeared years ago,
14:45
Speaker 1: and on the magic box in row three, right behind
14:48
Speaker 1: home plate as the Yankees are pitching to the Orioles
14:51
Speaker 1: at Camden Yards, Marlin's man is holding court with my
14:55
Speaker 1: palace sports with Coleman and it's all happening on TV
15:00
Speaker 1: taking screenshots. I'm taking photos of this. They connected, you know,
15:05
Speaker 1: we know how this works for me In California. I'm
15:08
Speaker 1: not saying I'm powerful. I'm not. However, this is basically
15:12
Speaker 1: the Pentagon for spur of the moment, meet and greets
15:15
Speaker 1: thousands of miles away in Maryland. There should have been
15:19
Speaker 1: a giant map on my living room wall missed opportunity
15:23
Speaker 1: here with little red lights blinking. Yeah, just like that,
15:28
Speaker 1: and Jerry Coleman approaching from the concourse. Lawrence aka marlins Man,
15:35
Speaker 1: of course, has banded the Delhi. Operation orange Visor is
15:39
Speaker 1: a go. Operation orange Visor is a go. Repeat, Operation
15:43
Speaker 1: orange Visor is a go. And while all this international diplomacy,
15:50
Speaker 1: well it's actually just American diplomacy, all of this was
15:54
Speaker 1: taking place, there was an actual baseball game going on. Yeah,
15:58
Speaker 1: this happened to be the game the other night, Oriols
16:00
Speaker 1: Yankees game where Pete Alonzo the Polar Bail Polar Bear
16:06
Speaker 1: Polar Bear hit that controversial home run that somehow wasn't
16:09
Speaker 1: a home run. Michael and Tulsa knows it was home run,
16:13
Speaker 1: and Malard prop guy knows this as a home so
16:15
Speaker 1: it's ferg Dog and Alf. They know it was home run,
16:19
Speaker 1: but it wasn't home run because the three blind mice
16:21
Speaker 1: who addresses umpires ruled at foul even though everyone watching
16:26
Speaker 1: the television could see the ball was fair. That is
16:30
Speaker 1: Major League Baseball replay technology is what. That is high
16:36
Speaker 1: definition cameras, ball tracking. They got the super duper computers
16:42
Speaker 1: over there that work all day and all night, dugout iPads.
16:48
Speaker 1: They can probably tell you the launch angle, the exit
16:51
Speaker 1: V low, and the astrological sign of a mosquito leaving
16:56
Speaker 1: Camden Yards and filing a complaint with the cockroaches for
17:00
Speaker 1: not paying. And yet somehow, some way they could not
17:05
Speaker 1: figure out whether a baseball hit by Pete Alonzo went
17:09
Speaker 1: fair over the foul pole or foul over the foul pole. Meanwhile,
17:13
Speaker 1: I located two people in Row three from my sofa
17:17
Speaker 1: in California, so maybe, just maybe I should run the
17:22
Speaker 1: replay center. But shortly, shortly before the controversy, they were
17:29
Speaker 1: again Coleman and Marlon's Man schmoozing. These worlds colliding, and
17:35
Speaker 1: they both sent photos at the same time, at almost
17:40
Speaker 1: the exact same time as they were talking. And I'm
17:43
Speaker 1: watching them talk on TV, I'm seeing them take the photos,
17:47
Speaker 1: and I then see the photos on my phone. What
17:50
Speaker 1: in the world Apparently I was the topic of conversation.
17:55
Speaker 1: This scares me. I don't know what was said. Was
17:58
Speaker 1: it good? Was it bad? Was it ugly? Was there
18:01
Speaker 1: a scouting report? Yeah? Malard's okay. But have you noticed
18:04
Speaker 1: he repeats himself a lot. He does repeat himself. He
18:08
Speaker 1: definitely repeats himself. And those who am I game and
18:10
Speaker 1: ista trivia things, those are lame. Those are lame. And
18:13
Speaker 1: what about that hollering James? Is that guy real? This
18:17
Speaker 1: is what happens when you introduce people immediately, at least
18:21
Speaker 1: for me, you become paranoid about what they're saying when
18:26
Speaker 1: you're not there. And I'm like, well, I created this
18:29
Speaker 1: mess and now I'm excluded from it. It's like Frankenstein's
18:33
Speaker 1: Monster with baseball tickets. And apparently though the conversation went
18:38
Speaker 1: very well, very well, phone numbers were exchanged. From what
18:43
Speaker 1: I understand, a friendship was born. So they're friends now.
18:48
Speaker 1: So now we're all friends. I guess I don't even know.
18:52
Speaker 1: Like they talked for a few minutes, It wasn't that long.
18:55
Speaker 1: They exchanged numbers and it's twenty twenty six. That might
19:00
Speaker 1: qualify as a domestic partnership. This is the bromance nobody
19:06
Speaker 1: asked for. A beautiful baseball disaster Coleman schmoozing with Marlin's Man.
19:14
Speaker 1: It's like an episode of The Bachelor, mid Atlantic Friends Edition. Okay,
19:19
Speaker 1: two blokes bonding over absolutely nothing, and the Malard militia knows.
19:25
Speaker 1: If you're part of the malle Militia, you've got to
19:27
Speaker 1: be part of it. If you're listening to the Fifth
19:29
Speaker 1: Hour podcast, this is exactly the kind of chaos that
19:32
Speaker 1: we love. Playing friend Matchmaker from La La Land is
19:38
Speaker 1: like trying to grill a steak through FaceTime. There's absolutely
19:42
Speaker 1: no reason it should work, and yet somehow you eat.
19:47
Speaker 1: Dinner is served. Now we find out whether this friendship
19:52
Speaker 1: has staying power over time, and it's possible that they
19:56
Speaker 1: will become lifelong pals. It could be maybe they'll go
20:01
Speaker 1: to games together. When Marlin's Man returns Sports with Coleman
20:04
Speaker 1: and Marlin's Man will be sitting together. They can exchange
20:07
Speaker 1: holiday cards, right, you get a Hana Kak card, You
20:10
Speaker 1: get a Hana Kak card, you get a New Year's card,
20:12
Speaker 1: you get a New Year's card, Happy thanks heaving. Or
20:14
Speaker 1: maybe they never speak to each other again, and six
20:17
Speaker 1: months from now, my buddy Sports with Coleman is scrolling
20:21
Speaker 1: through his contacts on his phone and sees Marlin's man
20:24
Speaker 1: and thinks, why the hell do I have that? What
20:28
Speaker 1: is that about? I don't understand, you know, And maybe
20:33
Speaker 1: this meetup becomes a podcast episode nobody would ever want
20:37
Speaker 1: or download. I think we're in the process of finding
20:40
Speaker 1: out if that's true right now on this podcast, which
20:43
Speaker 1: seemingly is all about this. But whatever happens, I am
20:47
Speaker 1: taking credit. Absolutely. People introduce couples who eventually get married,
20:51
Speaker 1: and thirty years later somebody gives a toast about the
20:54
Speaker 1: person who brought them together. Now, this is obviously not
20:56
Speaker 1: that they're just friends, you know, you know, the bromance. However,
21:00
Speaker 1: a friend in need is a friend. Indeed, why shouldn't
21:04
Speaker 1: I get something? Maybe a plaque. I'd like a plaque,
21:06
Speaker 1: A box of trucklets, pastrami samwich from that deli. That
21:11
Speaker 1: would be pretty good. Why not? So there you go,
21:15
Speaker 1: I just by happenstance, brought these two people together. I
21:20
Speaker 1: didn't even have to put shoes on, didn't have to
21:22
Speaker 1: take a shower, just laid on the sofa. That's not
21:26
Speaker 1: too shabby, especially considering what was actually happening back at
21:30
Speaker 1: Mission Control. Again, I was not sitting in some high
21:34
Speaker 1: tech TV studio. For those of you that have fast
21:37
Speaker 1: forwarded through the podcast, I didn't have nineteen monitors in
21:40
Speaker 1: a headset. I was just relaxing. I was lounging, and
21:43
Speaker 1: I had Moxie sleeping and farting. I was eating my
21:45
Speaker 1: supper and watching baseball, preparing for the radio show, and
21:49
Speaker 1: apparently conducting long distance friendship negotiations between two grown men
21:54
Speaker 1: in Baltimore. It's like, I imagine. I'm sure it's not
21:58
Speaker 1: like this, but in my head, it's like being in
22:00
Speaker 1: the war room at the Pentagon if the Pentagon had
22:04
Speaker 1: salsustains on the coffee table. And then it hit me,
22:09
Speaker 1: what in the web? All of a sudden, I had
22:13
Speaker 1: become part of a low budget ripoff America Top forty
22:18
Speaker 1: with the legend Casey Kaseum, the greatest DJ who ever lived,
22:22
Speaker 1: who I almost killed in a Premiere network's accident that
22:28
Speaker 1: I avoided because of my slithery likability, the king of
22:32
Speaker 1: the long distant dedication. Yes, Casey Casum, the long distance dedication.
22:38
Speaker 1: Casey would read these beautiful letters about people separated by
22:42
Speaker 1: thousands of miles in the days before Wi Fi, Love lost, heartbreak, destiny,
22:49
Speaker 1: somebody stationed overseas requesting a special song for their sweetheart
22:54
Speaker 1: waiting back home. Meanwhile, my long distance dedication involved Marlin's
22:59
Speaker 1: Man sports would call me, went an Oriels game, a
23:01
Speaker 1: controversial pee Alnzo home run that wasn't because of the
23:04
Speaker 1: foul poll, a Deli sandwich, and a bulldog committing chemical
23:08
Speaker 1: warfare in my face, and close enough, close enough. So
23:14
Speaker 1: tonight's long distance dedication goes to Lawrence aka Marlin's Man
23:18
Speaker 1: and his new buddies sports with Coleman in Baltimore. May
23:22
Speaker 1: your friendship flourish, May there be many free Pastromi sandwiches
23:27
Speaker 1: out there, and may Marlin's Man forever remain in the
23:31
Speaker 1: front row. And most importantly, may neither one of you
23:35
Speaker 1: ever reveal exactly what was said about me, because some
23:40
Speaker 1: things are better left two three hundred something miles away.
23:44
Speaker 1: And as the Great Casey Casum used to say, rest
23:48
Speaker 1: in peace, Casey, keep your feet on the ground and
23:51
Speaker 1: keep reaching for the stars. And if you happen to
23:53
Speaker 1: see a guy wearing a bright orange Marlins jersey while
23:58
Speaker 1: you're reaching for the star, send me a text. I
24:02
Speaker 1: can set up the meeting. I can do that. I
24:05
Speaker 1: probably know them. I probably know them, and I didn't
24:08
Speaker 1: want to mention as well before we skid daddle out here.
24:11
Speaker 1: There's a couple of holidays today that I thought we're
24:13
Speaker 1: interesting enough to mention on the show. Today is August
24:16
Speaker 1: twenty firth, It is twenty first, It is Friday. It
24:19
Speaker 1: is also Hawaiian Shirt Day, Yes, Hawaiian Shirt Day. Now
24:24
Speaker 1: they're technically called Aloha shirts. The Hawaiian shirt is the
24:29
Speaker 1: mainland nickname, the Aloha shirt is the traditional term. So
24:34
Speaker 1: they're not as old as you might think. They really
24:37
Speaker 1: took off in the nineteen thirties. And how did they start?
24:40
Speaker 1: How did these ridonculous Hawaiian shirts start? Well, the tailors
24:46
Speaker 1: in Honolulu began producing colorful, short sleeve shirts. They used
24:52
Speaker 1: fabrics that were influenced by Japanese, Chinese, Filipino, and Hawaiian cultures.
24:59
Speaker 1: So it was a podge of all that, and several
25:04
Speaker 1: tailors and businesses have been credited with being the first
25:08
Speaker 1: one to the first Taylor Taylor zero to create the shirts. However,
25:15
Speaker 1: there is no universally accepted Thomas Edison of Hawaiian shirts
25:20
Speaker 1: that does not list, that does not exist. The early
25:24
Speaker 1: shirts often had Japanese kimono fabrics, and so that explains
25:31
Speaker 1: the flowers, the birds, the bamboo, the ocean scenes and
25:34
Speaker 1: the bold patterns and all that. And it was Elvis
25:39
Speaker 1: allegedly that helped support the Hawaiians. He wore the Aloha
25:45
Speaker 1: shirt on the cover of the Blue Hawaii soundtrack because
25:49
Speaker 1: the record label told him to do that. And when
25:53
Speaker 1: you go to Hawaii, it's kind of a thing. You
25:56
Speaker 1: got to either bring a Hawaiian shirt or buy one
25:58
Speaker 1: to take home, and it's like a wearable postcard from Hawaii.
26:04
Speaker 1: So Hawaii had a Loha Friday movement and they actually
26:10
Speaker 1: encouraged people there to wear these Hawaiian slash Aloha shirts
26:15
Speaker 1: to the office on Friday, and it became widespread in
26:18
Speaker 1: the nineteen sixties. And so Hawaii, if you enjoy casual Friday,
26:24
Speaker 1: you can thank the good people there in Hawaii who
26:27
Speaker 1: decided this is a good idea. Why not? Yeah, exactly,
26:33
Speaker 1: And the business is booming here. There are vintage Hawaiian
26:38
Speaker 1: shirts that are traded and sold for thousands of dollars.
26:43
Speaker 1: Think about that. Yeah, that's pretty wild. What else I mean,
26:49
Speaker 1: there's a bunch of other random fun facts about the
26:53
Speaker 1: Hawaiian shirt. Tom Selleck gave them a renaissance as Magnum
26:59
Speaker 1: Pi and that was filmed in Hawaii. Jimmy Buffett made
27:04
Speaker 1: them his uniform, the late great Jimmy Buffett. That was
27:08
Speaker 1: his shtick. There was even a presidential part of this,
27:12
Speaker 1: Harry S. Truman, President Harry Truman, he wore them. He
27:16
Speaker 1: appeared in these ridonculous Hawaiian style shirts. And he's actually
27:22
Speaker 1: helped credit as well much as Elvis is, but he
27:25
Speaker 1: was credited with helping that look, you know, mainstream post
27:30
Speaker 1: war America with the Hawaiian shirt. So that was that
27:36
Speaker 1: was his deal. That was absolutely his deal. And a
27:39
Speaker 1: Laha shirt, if it's authentic, you know, it just signifies, hey, vacation,
27:47
Speaker 1: We're in vacation. And and also it's like kind of
27:51
Speaker 1: the dad outfit, you know, the suburban dad. You see
27:55
Speaker 1: them standing next to the hotel breakfast buffet and they've
27:58
Speaker 1: got the Hawaiian shirt on and just kind of it
28:01
Speaker 1: the bird pattern or the jungle pattern or whatever they're
28:04
Speaker 1: and that's just kind of how it goes. And that's it. Also,
28:08
Speaker 1: during World War Two, believe it or not, military personnel
28:11
Speaker 1: stationed in or passing through Hawaii. They spread the Hawaiian
28:15
Speaker 1: shirts back to the continental US. So you had President Truman,
28:19
Speaker 1: you had Elvis Presley, Yeah yeah, Jimmy Buffett, Magnum pi Aka,
28:26
Speaker 1: you know who, Tom Selleck, and all these people who
28:30
Speaker 1: helped promote and get awareness. That's a big term awareness
28:34
Speaker 1: for the Hawaiian shirt. Today is also National kool Aid Day.
28:37
Speaker 1: I feel like we've done a lot of these fun
28:39
Speaker 1: facts over the years. I think in previous episodes. Recently
28:41
Speaker 1: we've done this, but I double on, triple checked, and
28:44
Speaker 1: it did say today, August twenty first is National kool
28:47
Speaker 1: Aid Day. Yeah, so who knew? Who knew? And some
28:54
Speaker 1: fun facts about the kool aid product. The kool aid
28:58
Speaker 1: man was not originally a man. The precursor or the
29:05
Speaker 1: forefather of the picture man was just a smiling glass
29:10
Speaker 1: picture filled with kool aid. Was not a not a man,
29:14
Speaker 1: not a man. It was a man in Nebraska. Kool
29:18
Speaker 1: Aid was invented by the great Edwin Perkins who created
29:23
Speaker 1: this in Hastings, Nebraska, and he called it cool aid
29:28
Speaker 1: ad not the aid that we have now. So didn't
29:35
Speaker 1: do that. I mentioned this in a previous episode. During
29:37
Speaker 1: the Great Depression, they sold the kool Aid packets for
29:43
Speaker 1: instead of ten cents, five cents, and that turned into
29:47
Speaker 1: a big deal. The kool Aid Man appeared when I
29:50
Speaker 1: was much younger, in the nineteen eighties. He appeared in
29:54
Speaker 1: the Atari twenty six hundred and in television in those
30:00
Speaker 1: early video game things, and they have a kool Aid
30:04
Speaker 1: festival in his hometown there of Hastings, Nebraska, and the
30:12
Speaker 1: phrase my favorite thing about I don't know my favorite
30:14
Speaker 1: thing about cool Ay. There's a lot of weird things
30:16
Speaker 1: about I used to drinking a lot when I was
30:18
Speaker 1: a kid, but the phrase drinking of the kool Aid
30:21
Speaker 1: is very dark. It's also wrong. It's one of the
30:24
Speaker 1: great bloopers that has maintained over time. In nineteen seventy eight,
30:29
Speaker 1: there were these people that were part of a cult.
30:31
Speaker 1: There was a whack a doodle leader who decided, well,
30:34
Speaker 1: why don't we just kill everyone? That seems like a
30:36
Speaker 1: thing to do. Sure, why not? So there was this
30:39
Speaker 1: huge murder suicide thing and the beverage most commonly identified
30:47
Speaker 1: in contemporary accounts was flavor Aid. They actually used flavor
30:52
Speaker 1: aid to kill all the people. That was a competitor
30:57
Speaker 1: powdered drink, not kool aid Aid still exists, So kool
31:02
Speaker 1: Aid essentially took the linguistic poison for its competitor, Like
31:11
Speaker 1: what in the world, Yeah, there you go. Now, the
31:16
Speaker 1: kool Aid Man is technically a picture, not the liquid.
31:21
Speaker 1: At least that's how the character has generally been depicted,
31:24
Speaker 1: which leads to the philosophical question is the kool Aid
31:30
Speaker 1: is the kool aid his blood or is it merely
31:33
Speaker 1: carrying kool Aid around inside his guts? Yeah? Who knows?
31:40
Speaker 1: Who the heck knows? Now? All I know is that
31:46
Speaker 1: we're going to put the podcast to bed, have a
31:48
Speaker 1: great rest of your Friday. It will be more exhibition games.
31:53
Speaker 1: There were a few games last night that we were
31:54
Speaker 1: watching and there'll be a few more tonight, and it's
31:57
Speaker 1: kind of how that works. And so anyway, we'll be
32:01
Speaker 1: back with you on the Saturday Pod tomorrow and then
32:04
Speaker 1: again on Sunday. We've got the mail bag. This is
32:08
Speaker 1: the last week before we head to Vegas for the
32:12
Speaker 1: big Malor meet and greet that's going to take place
32:15
Speaker 1: in Lost Wages, Nevada, and that'll be a week from tomorrow.
32:20
Speaker 1: We'll have more on that tomorrow on the podcast. So
32:23
Speaker 1: we have that to look forward to on the Saturday
32:26
Speaker 1: pod and as Dick and Dayton would say bye bye,
32:32
Speaker 1: bye bye, just like that, right, Dick, No you're not here.
32:37
Speaker 1: What's going on? Dude? Why are you not here? Come on,
32:40
Speaker 1: you should know. Okay. I actually wanted to get Dick
32:43
Speaker 1: and Dayton on the podcast. He doesn't know how to
32:45
Speaker 1: do a podcast. He's too old for podcasts, which I respect,
32:49
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna be too old when the next tech
32:51
Speaker 1: comes along. I won't know what to do with that.
32:52
Speaker 1: I guess I just ask one of these supercomputers. They'll
32:55
Speaker 1: figure it out. Anyway. I have a great day again,
32:57
Speaker 1: Dick and Dayton saying bye bye. Yeah,