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How to Feel Calm in Motherhood When Everything Feels Overwhelming · Motherhood Uncut

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: If you feel like you're drowning in motherhood, mind racing, body so exhausted, constantly on edge, welcome to the club of other moms out there.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to know that there is nothing wrong with you, but your nervous system is stuck in a pattern it learned long before your baby was born.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: And today I'm gonna show you how to interrupt that.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna show you the real reason why motherhood feels so overwhelming, and it's probably not what you think.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: And then I'm gonna give you a short three-minute practice that you can use today that actually creates calm instead of just managing chaos.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so you probably wake up already exhausted.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: Your to-do list is impossible.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: Your baby needs you, work is calling, your partner needs something, and you haven't showered in, I don't know, two days.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: Did I just get inside your world for a second?
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: Every single moment feels urgent.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: Your mind is running like a million tabs at once.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: Did I pack the right snacks?
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: Did I respond to that email?
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: Is my baby hitting all those milestones?
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: Should I be, I don't know, doing more tummy time?
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: Is that cry different from the last one?
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: You are constantly bracing for the next thing to go wrong.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I bet that a skipped nap derails your entire day.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: A tantrum in public feels like a total crisis.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: You can't think straight, you can't catch your breath, and everyone keeps telling you, this is just motherhood, but it does not feel sustainable.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: And somewhere in there, you know the cost, right?
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: You're not present, you're not enjoying anything, and you're probably just surviving.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: And you're terrified, this is what motherhood is gonna feel like forever.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: So, on top of all of that is this self-criticism that jumps right in as soon as you acknowledge the impacts of everything that's happening right now.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: And then now, not only are you feeling awful, but you've layered on all these exceptional amounts of guilt.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: I am Kate Kripke, and I've spent over 20 years helping overwhelmed moms finally feel calm again.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: And what I've learned from working with thousands of high-achieving women is this the ones who stay stuck are trying to manage the chaos, but the ones who break free, they understand that overwhelm isn't about how much is on your plate.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's about what your nervous system does with uncertainty.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna walk you through three things today that you need to understand about overwhelm.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: And then I'm gonna give you the exact practice that interrupts it.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: First, I want you to know this.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: Overwhelm isn't actually about being too busy.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: It's what happens when your nervous system feels threatened because it can't find predictability or control.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: And motherhood is built on unpredictability.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: You can't control when your baby will sleep, what mood they're gonna be in, how the day will unfold.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: And for a brain that craves certainty, that feels like danger.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: But again, here's what you probably don't yet understand.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: You're not overwhelmed because you have too much to do.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: You're overwhelmed because your nervous system is treating this uncertainty and unpredictability like threat.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: I have worked with CEOs and surgeons and lawyers, women who have managed teams, life or death situations and decisions, impossible deadlines.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: They handled pressure so beautifully, and then motherhood happened and they completely fell apart.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: Same capable woman, so what changed?
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: Well, the nature of the challenge changed.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: At work, effort led to predictable outcomes.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: In motherhood, you can do everything right and your baby still won't nap.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: That lack of control sends high-achieving nervous systems into total overdrive.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: Think of your nervous system like a GPS, trying to navigate.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: When the route is clear, it is calm.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: But when the destination keeps changing or when obstacles pop up, those blue lines on your map, they keep shifting around.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: The root disappears and nothing is predictable.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: The GPS starts frantically recalculating over and over and over.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: And that frantic recalculating is actually what overwhelm feels like.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: Notice when you're trying to force certainty where none exists.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: Are you over planning, over-researching, trying to control every variable?
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: That's your nervous system desperately searching for the predictability.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: It thinks that it needs to feel safe.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: But motherhood can't give you that.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: Fighting reality creates the overwhelm.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: If feeling a lack of control is the problem, most people get more organized, more disciplined.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: And that's exactly what makes it worse.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, second thing.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: You see, your achievement brain is making you more overwhelmed.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: The same strategies that worked before motherhood, like being more productive, more organized, more efficient, these backfire in motherhood because not feeling successful in motherhood isn't a productivity problem.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's an emotional regulation problem.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: And every time you try to do more to feel calm, you're teaching your nervous system that you're only safe when everything is managed perfectly, which is completely impossible because everything in motherhood for both your child and you is changing rapidly every single day.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: The to-do list isn't calming you like you think it will, it's feeding the overwhelm.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I see this all the time.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: A mom comes to me with like color-coded schedules, meal plans, maybe even a bunch of optimization strategies.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: I know I did that in the beginning.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: She's doing everything the parenting influencers recommend, and she's more anxious than ever.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: So why is that?
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: Well, because she's using achievement strategies like control and optimization and performance to solve an emotional problem, like intolerance of discomfort and uncertainty.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: It's like trying to stop a thunderstorm by organizing your closet.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: The activity might feel productive, but it has nothing to do with the actual weather.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: Overwhelm is emotional weather.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: It actually needs to be felt and moved through, not managed and controlled.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: So the invitation is to stop doing these things.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: Stop adding more systems, routines, and optimization strategies.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: Stop believing that calm will come when you finally get it all together.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: And stop measuring your worth by how much you accomplish.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: And then start doing these things.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: Start asking yourself, am I doing this because it needs to be done or because I think that productivity will make me feel safe?
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: Start giving yourself permission to let things be messy.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, I know, I know.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: As high achievers, we find mess almost intolerable.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: But it's a practice here.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: And practice tolerating the discomfort of unfinished tasks without spiraling, reminding yourself that you can both feel incomplete and still be okay at the same time.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: Once stop fighting reality, there's one practice that actually works to create calm in the middle of chaos.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, real quick, if this is making sense, go ahead and hit subscribe.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: I share practical, science-backed tools for overwhelmed moms every single week.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: No fluff, just what actually works.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, now I want to teach you the three-minute calm reset.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: This three-minute practice interrupts the overwhelm spiral by teaching your nervous system that you can feel chaos around you and still be safe inside your body.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: And this works because overwhelm lives in your body, not in your to-do list.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: Your racing heart, tight chest, shallow breathing, those physical sensations signal danger to your brain, which just creates more overwhelm.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: When you settle your body first, your mind follows.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: And this practice resets your nervous system in real time.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: Think of your nervous system like a snow globe that has been shaken.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: Overwhelm is all those thoughts and sensations swirling chaotically.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: You can't force the snow to settle by shaking it harder, which is like doing more, or by yelling at it, which is like criticizing yourself.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: You have to set it down and let it naturally settle.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: This practice is setting down the snow globe.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: And you can do this anywhere, in your kitchen, in your car, in the bathroom, at work, wherever you are when overwhelm hits.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: Let me preface this with a heartfelt warning.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes these practices feel cheesy or woo or too insignificant for high-performing and ambitious women.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: I definitely felt that way at first.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: I'm telling you now that the research backs it up.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: It works.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: I do it every day.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: So why not give it a try?
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, step one is where we ground first.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: And this takes about 60 seconds.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: So place both feet on the floor, flat on the floor, and press your feet down.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: Notice the sensation of the ground supporting you.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: This action brings you back to the moment.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: So often our thoughts take us to like a million other places.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: But we want to be right here because this present moment is where creativity and connection lives.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_00: Now, say to yourself, I am here, I am safe right now.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: Like literally say those words to yourself.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, step two is to breathe, and this takes about 90 seconds.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: Place one hand on your chest and one on your belly.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: Breathe in through your nose for about four counts, and exhale through your nose for about five counts.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: Your exhale is just a beat longer than your inhale.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: And if this is your first time using this breath, I want to remind you that the longer exhale triggers your sympathetic nervous system.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: That's rest and digest.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: The longer exhale literally says, I am safe and there is no crisis here.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to repeat this breath about five times.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: Focus only on the physical sensation of breathing, the rise and fall of your belly.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: This breath is your anchor and your stability, even when things around you are uncertain and unpredictable.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: Your breath becomes the certainty and the predictability.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, step three is to release.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: And this is about 30 seconds.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: So roll your shoulders back three times, shake your hands, unclench your jaw, say to yourself, I can feel overwhelmed and still be okay.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: And again, say those words.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: The words are important.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: This is why this works.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: You're activating your parasympathetic nervous system.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: That's the break predal on your stress response.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: The grounding tells your body, I am safe right here.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: The breathing pattern signals calm to your vagus nerve.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: And that physical release, it lets go of all the held tension.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: And the final statement, which is really important, it reframes overwhelm from threat to tolerable discomfort.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: You won't fix everything on your to-do list, but within three minutes, your heart rate slows, your thinking clears, and overwhelm loses its grip.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_00: You move from I'm drowning to this is hard, but I can handle the next moment.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_00: Here's when to use it.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: Morning overwhelm before the day even starts.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: You know, those chaotic mornings.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: Use it then.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_00: Midday when everything feels like too much.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: And before bed, when your mind won't stop racing.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: Really, any moment you notice your body going into worry, overwhelm, or panic mode.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: Do this two to three times today.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: And notice how quickly your body responds.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_00: Overwhelm doesn't disappear, but your relationship to it changes.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: And you prove to yourself that you can find calm even when nothing external has changed.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: Here is one final thought for you today.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_00: Motherhood will always have chaos, but overwhelm is not inevitable.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_00: When you stop trying to control the chaos and start regulating your response to it, everything shifts for both you and your child.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: Calm becomes something you can access, not something you have to earn.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, subscribe for more tools just like this.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: Practical strategies that work in real motherhood, not perfect Instagram motherhood.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: And if you want deeper support, check out the link in the description for an assessment call.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: You do not have to do this alone.