Latest / DA CREW Podcast / DA CREW PODCAST SEASON 1_ EPISODE #172_ HOST LATONYA MICHELLE LITTLEJOHN

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DA CREW PODCAST SEASON 1_ EPISODE #172_ HOST LATONYA MICHELLE LITTLEJOHN · DA CREW Podcast

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Hey, and welcome to the group podcast. We are the hottest podcast rocking
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each author to ensure a successful publishing experience and dedicated to helping them tell their
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stories in the most impactful and meaningful ways. So stop procrastinating and let's get
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started with writing that book. Tonight, every second, mond day and for
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a Friday of each money it's that you don't want to miss o every body
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of them. Good evening, good evening, good evening, and welcome to
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another episode of Delay but not Denied the podcast. This is episode one hundred
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and seventy two. Y'all. We are almost to the finish line for December
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twenty twenty three for the Crew podcast. Y'all, it's been an amazing ride.
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We do still have room and we're looking for more hosts. So if
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you're interested and re doing your own podcast in twenty twenty four, reach out
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to our visionary Miss Angela Thomas Smith and let her get you started. You
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hear me, listen Tonight, my guest, mister Amir Abdullah is not going
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to be with me. Fortunately, he's a little under the weather. We're
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praying for your healing. We know God I got you, so you'll see
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him soon. But tonight I have my girls with me, Trevida Harris and
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Nudget Scott. But before I bring them on, I would like to just
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pray. Put the Lord in the atmosphere, so buy your heads and close
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your eyes. Heavenly Father would come to you tonight asking you to be in
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the midst of the conversation. Lord, lead us and guide us in the
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way that you would have us to go. Tonight, let the meditation of
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our hearts in the words of our mouths be pleasible in your sight. In
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Jesus' name, I pray Amen, so again, Nudget Scott, Trevida Harris,
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are you ready okay, I think we may be having a little bit
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of techni difficulties. There's Trevita Naja. Are you still there? I am
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here, I'm here, okay, So what's going on, ladies? How
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are you? I'm here, I'm here and accounted for. So listen.
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We were me and Ms Dedie were having a conversation earlier today and we were
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talking about how I saw a Facebook post that said something along the lines of
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people getting married for the wrong reasons. So my question tonight is could you
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be with someone for the rest of your life and not have a piece of
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paper to solidify that union? Or do you need that that just have to
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be bunded by God and or you know, have the big wedding, the
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family, the friends and things like that. What's your take on it?
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Either one of y'all can start. I'm gonna let you go first. It's
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always me first, and I always let her go first. And then I'll
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bet that I'm letting have it this time. Okay. Well, my answer
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to that is because I've been I've been married, I've been divorced. The
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actual marriage certificate it is, it's a piece of paper. It legalizes two
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people being joined together. By law. However, that doesn't necessarily mean that
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they're joined together by the heart. And so if they're not joined together by
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the heart, the paper means absolutely nothing. Ultimately, you know, it's
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a piece of paper that joins you together in the eyes of the law.
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But if you are truly meant to be together, you are joined together through
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the heart and through the loyalty that you both have to each other, and
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to solidify your commitment to one another. You can have that commitment to one
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another without that piece of paper, because that piece of paper is just legalizing
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your commitment in the eyes of other people. Now to have a big wedding
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that has never been one for me, I could care less if you show
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up, you know, for me to cause at the end of the day,
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y'all not gonna be there when I'm at the house and we have an
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argument. You know, you're not gonna be there for that, you know.
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So it's not necessary for me to parade my relationship in front of other
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people to get their approval of it. So why do I need you there
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at the day that I say I do. When it's a moment that I'm
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say that I don't, you know, I may not like him today.
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I may not even tomorrow, So you don't have a comment, you know,
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based on what I'm feeling today and tomorrow. You're not liking him because
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I didn't like him yesterday. That ain't got nothing to do with you.
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So if you can't be there and those good and bad times, I don't
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need you there to celebrate and just to see ooh girl, let me see
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what she's wearing on her wedding day. You know, well white she been
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mind Joe business. Okay, you know that part. That's just that's my
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opinion on that. Yeah, I agree with you on that. I mean
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I already did the not the big big wedding thing, but big enough.
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And yeah, no I don't I'm not I'm not sharing a lot, but
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yeah no, I'm with you. I'm just like, I don't need to
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go through all that over again. I don't know. I mean, at
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one point I was thinking, okay, well, you know, in God's
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eyes this this this, but you know what, it's also between me and
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God, between me and God or what I do with my life and if
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I'm leading, if I'm following his lead and what I'm doing. Who has
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any say soul and what I do in my life, and I don't care.
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I don't care what age you've known me from. I'm grown right,
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I'm grown up right there. Career, Yeah, I mean, because you
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have people who've known you since you were kids, and then then they just
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automatically think they can talk to you like you a child. I'm not a
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child. I'm forty six years old and proud of it. But I'm not
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gonna be I'm gonna handle my life the way I see fit and see the
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way God want me to handle it. You don't like it, that's not
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for you. It's not with God. Yeah, you gotta consult with God
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first. And that's one that I stand on. If if God and my
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children are pleased with what I got going on, you can't say anything to
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me that's gonna make me say, well, you know what, maybe I
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shouldn't do that. If I confer with God first. It wasn't a conference
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call. It was between me and him. It was so that's what I'm
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saying. It wasn't a conference call. That's what I'm talking about. Yeah,
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exactly exactly. I think that ultimately, at the end of the day,
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a lot of people I can't say everybody, because not everybody, but
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a lot of people do the big weddings based on the opinion of other people.
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They're doing it for that one day, and it's to give the people
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something to talk about, the dresses, the bridesmaids, the groom, the
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grooms men, and everything in between. And like you said, at the
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end of the day, after all of that said and done, you know,
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it's a show. It's a show. Ye, after the show is
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over, what exactly you see. The other misconception that people make is that
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they think the I do is the beginning of the marriage. The marriage started
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long before the I does. That's why most of them don't last very long,
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because people are afraid to have those hard conversations before they say I do,
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and they think that the relationship itself is gonna get better. Oh I
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made this person, my wife. Oh I made this person my husband.
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I said I do to them, and all of the problems that we were
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having before are gone. No they're not. They just intensified. And now
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you're legally stuck here. You know, you just say ended. Now you're
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legally stuck here. So that's what that paper signifies. Okay, you said
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you want to go well, I certain listen here, I got piece of
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people say you can't go like that right now, you know, with some
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protocols that's got to take place. You know, you just can't. You
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might go to your call for a little while. Cool, I'll go drive
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down the road, do whatever you need to do. But sir, you
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got to come back here, you know, because this paper states that,
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and until your address, that's what your drivers like. Okay, okay,
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this your address, So you can't go nowhere. I don't understand that.
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But you know, people make that misconception of okay, well we said I
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do. Yes, we're getting married. The honeymoon okay, well the honeymoon
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is over. Now you're sitting there looking at each other. Now you don't
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even like the person that you said I do to, So now you're mad.
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But you said I do. You had the big wedding, you spend
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all this money, you had this cake, You had all these people there
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to there to witness all of this, and now y'all don't even like each
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other, y'all sleeping in separate beds, sleeping in separate places and all this.
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But you said I do. You wanted the world to know, and
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now they know, but you don't want to tell them about this foolishness that
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y'all got going on behind the closed door. Dogg I do was going to
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take way the fact that you're crazy, the fact that you have controlling issues,
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the fact that you have financial issues, that you have all of these
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things, and you thought that I, yes, yes, So you gotta
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make sure that you know what you're saying. I could do too, But
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we don't want to have those hard conversations beforehand. We just want to get
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Oh lord, he said he want to marry me. Oh, I'm finna
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make her my wife. We're finna live happily ever after. Whose storybook you
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read? Whose storybook you read? Because marriage is hard. Relationships themselves are
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hard, you know. And you got when I let me tell y'all something
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before I even got married to my kids father, my husband, I told
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him, and my my dad was upset with me that I did it this
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way, like we moved in together, you know, first before we got
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married, and my dad was like, well, you know, that's a
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whole nother story, but I'm gonna tell you that in a minute anyway.
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But it was basically this, that you were living in wet out of wetlock
13:16
or whatever. And I said, well, Daddy, let me tell you
13:18
something. I don't know what this man is like when he goes home to
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his mama and his house. So I need to know what he's like when
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he wakes up in the morning. And I need to know what he's like
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midday. I need to know what he's like in the middle of the night,
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late night out. I need to know all of these things before I
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invest a little bit more of me into him. I said, because if
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I can't live with him for a year, I can't live with him for
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a lifetime, because that's the commitment that I'm making. And on the other
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end, my dad was saying that, but it's like, okay, but
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you live with my stepmam for twenty three years before you made her your wife.
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So let me clarify this Bible verse that you quoting to me, because
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you can't quote a verse to me that you already broke. We only made
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this woman a woman of God after the fact you lived in singing for twenty
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three years before you made her your wife and gave her your last name.
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So if we're gonna talk about it, we're gonna talk all the way about
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it. We're not gonna leave nothing now. And he was like, well,
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we don't want to have to talk about this. No, I didn't
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bring it up. You did, right, So right now we not getting
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not until I say what I need to say, because you brought it to
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me. I didn't address you. So since you addressed it, we're gonna
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talk about it. But that was my reason and as to why if I
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can't live with you, I can't. I don't know what you go home
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like when you go home to your mama. Then I don't know that.
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So I need to know what you like in the morning, if you crank
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it, if you're a morning person, you like to be up when the
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birds start chirping. I need to know that, you know, because I
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may not want to be up with the birds chirping, you know, I
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know. I don't. Yeah, like it may not be something I want
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to do. You want to have a thirty minute conversation when you get up
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in the morning, Sar, can you please stop talking right now? I
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don't want to talk about it. Is it's too early. Give me about
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twenty minutes, thirty minutes, maybe even two hours before I'm ready to you
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know, Yeah, so we ain't got to talk right now, sir.
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So I needed to know all of that, you know. But him and
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I we were married for seven years together for thirteen three beautiful CRIDs together,
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you know. So, but there was a point where we had to go
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our separate ways. We had to do what was best for us, you
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know. Was it a hard decision to make? Yeah? I was with
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him from the time I was sixteen years old till I was twenty seven,
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so that was not an easy thing to walk away from. But I knew
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what was best for myself and what was best for my children, you know.
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And it was one of the hardest decisions that I made. But it's
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also one of the best decisions I ever made, I feel. You we
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all, I would say, grew up in a time and place where our
16:10
parents believed in the not shacking, you know, before before marriage or whatever.
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And that's my issue with the Bible, Like people pick and choose and
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fits in that moment, and it's not always what it is. Like you
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need to know, you know. My mom used to always say, why
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would the man by the by the cow if he can milk it for free?
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But you want to know what type of person you're dealing with what you're
16:44
getting into. You know, you could get with somebody and over time wind
16:52
up being with the narcissist and not even know it. Like whereas if you
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get with this person, spend time with them, get to know them and
17:04
the things that they like, dislike, and everything in between, you kind
17:07
of get a feel for what you're dealing with. Like, my heart goes
17:11
out to anybody that can marry somebody and not even spend the weekend with them,
17:17
like I yeah, I mean, but people do that then. And
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also you got to think about people have their idea of what their perfect relationship
17:30
would be, which is one of the things why I get it annoys me
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in the sense of people always say relationship goals because of a picture that you
17:40
see. Okay, you don't know what them people were doing twenty minutes before
17:44
that picture was snapped. You only see a moment in time, and that's
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all you saw was a moment in time, and so after that moment has
17:52
passed, what happened before and after the storm? Because it could be sunshine
17:56
and rainbows outside and then just minutes ago it was a tornado going through there.
18:02
So it's always just a snapshot of what you saw. But your relationship
18:07
goal should be the foundation of what you said it to be, but with
18:11
communicating with your partner on what your expectations of them and what their expectations of
18:17
you for them is. And so once you established that, that establishes your
18:22
foundation and nothing should be able to come in and take that away once that
18:26
foundation has been laid. But we don't talk about that kind of stuff right
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and left, and that we change, we changed, we change, we
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grow, and I'm not who I was in my twenties. I'm not who
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I am when I'm in my thirties. I ain't even the same person I
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was. That is actually that part, that entire part, That's what I'm
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saying, And people don't factor that into the scenario as well as that we
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grow and we change, and you know, you want different things in life,
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and you want to achieve different things, and you need certain things that
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everybody that you were with may not be able to give you that. And
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it's it's the same as if you think about the things that you used to
19:08
eat as a kid. You can't eat that stuff no more. It doesn't
19:12
it doesn't feel your body the same way. You know, you got some
19:15
people that are still trying to hold onto those genes that they were in high
19:18
school. You let them go, let them stop holding on to them.
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You've out grown that, which means you've grown in areas that no longer fit
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you. And that comes with life as a whole. You are going to
19:37
outgrow places, people, things, and situations. And when you outgrow them,
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you know that that's no longer going to feed you in the way that
19:45
it needed to in the time you had it. You know that meal that
19:49
you had that was your favorite meal as a kid, that ain't that meal
19:52
ain't gonna fill you up in the same size and portions ain't gonna fill you
19:56
up no more. So you gotta start looking at life and that same aspect,
20:00
and especially relationships. What you need from your partner needs to be a
20:06
daily conversation, if not a weekly conversation, because what they needed from you
20:11
may not be the same what they need today. They might need something a
20:15
little different tomorrow. But you gotta be able and you got to say what
20:19
it is, and you can't worry about whether or not it's going to hurt,
20:26
because nobody intentionally gets with somebody to hurt them that's not the intention of
20:32
them. So you got to be able to talk to people about where you
20:37
were, what things you were hurt by in your past so that they because
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you don't want somebody walking in and doing something that you feel like it was
20:47
a deliberate thing. But they had no idea that this was something you dealt
20:52
with in your past. How would they know they walked in on something that
20:56
they knew nothing about. Like you don't like to sleep in the dark.
21:00
You got a night light on or something. Now they coming in and they
21:04
turning off the light and you can't even go to sleep, and you up
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pacing on the r D like like, sir, I need the light,
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I need this, and you know, and they you mad at them,
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but you won't even voice while you mad. You know, they don't know
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that when you were a little kid, somebody scared you in the dark,
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so now you can't sleep in the dark. They don't know, and you
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mad at them because you're like, well, you ain't have to turn my
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light off. Well, you know, I didn't know that you had a
21:37
problem. You never told me, but you mad at me for something you
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expect me to know that You never communicated with me like you allergic to Like
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I'm allergic to cinnamon, so I make sure people know that I can't have
21:48
it. So don't serve me a cookie and think that I can take that
21:53
cookie and eat it, and you mad because it's got cinnamon and it I
21:59
smell the cookie as I sentiment you trying to kill me. No, I
22:02
never told you that I was allerge at the centiment you not trying to kill
22:06
me. You just didn't know, you know, said she said. Let
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me tell you you in the sixties are no different. Liz said, yes,
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Like I'm forty five, and the things that I did when I was
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in my twenties. I look at myself, I'm like, okay, you
22:27
really did open it here lately, y'all, I honestly have found myself driving
22:36
in my car in silence now, Like I don't turn the radio on anymore.
22:41
Like I come home and I watched The Flintstones before I go to bed
22:45
every night, you know. I mean I used to come home and watch
22:49
like the crime shows and things of that nature. Like I can't, like
22:53
it does nothing for me now, Like I have to be in the mood
22:59
to watch some thing like that, or even to turn my radio on or
23:03
anything like that. I am in a solitude state where my pieces is important
23:08
to me. And if I turn the radio on and they playing something that
23:11
I really don't even know what they're talking about at this point, I'm gonna
23:15
turn it off. And if not, I'm gonna pull up my bluetooth in
23:18
and I'm gonna listen to them songs back in the eighties and the nineties,
23:22
because I know what that is. I don't know what they talk about now,
23:26
you know, I don't know what they talk about. I can't keep
23:30
up with the lingo. I don't know what they're saying, and I'm not
23:33
trying to figure it out. I'm just that's all right, that's not for
23:37
me. I know that's not my space anymore. So I'm good with that.
23:41
So here's another question to know that why why do you think that our
23:47
elders stayed in situations that no longer serve them versus us in a new generation.
23:56
I feel like it was what they knew and also what they saw.
24:02
People don't get away from uncomfortable situations until they're completely tired of it. You
24:08
have to be completely tired of whatever you're dealing with to actually break free of
24:12
what that is. If you're not tired of hearing yourself say how tired you
24:17
are, then Mabby, you're not tired. You're not gonna see this because
24:22
you're not tired of it. When you are tired of something, you do
24:26
what you need to do to fix it. You figure out the solution.
24:29
But most of the time they felt like they had no other option, but
24:33
they never tried to find another option. They never tried to find another solution.
24:37
So they stayed for that particular reason, and also because it was comfortable.
24:41
Regardless of what they say, Okay, I'm tired, I don't like
24:45
this today, you got options like okay. I had a situation where this
24:52
lady before they started tearing down Nars Ridge. When I tell you guys,
24:56
she came in just completely balling because they had gave everybody to notice that they
25:02
were tearing their apartments down and everything, and she was gonna have to find
25:06
another place to live. She said that she had been living there since she
25:08
was a little girl, and her mom lived there when she was there,
25:11
and so now she's still there. And I said, well, okay,
25:15
let me tell you this. I said, I'm gonna break it down to
25:18
you in a way that I hope you understand that. She was much older
25:22
than I am. And I said, okay, do you understand what change
25:25
means? And she says yes. I said, do you understand that it's
25:27
time for you to move on to something else? Regardless of this is the
25:32
life that you know, but this is not the life that God has for
25:34
you. I said, So He's got to make you move because you're comfortable
25:38
in a space that no longer fits or serves the person he is trying to
25:42
put you in, you know. And so she was like, but I
25:47
just don't know anything else. I've lived here my whole life, my mom
25:51
my, sister's, everybody, and I don't want to move. I said,
25:53
you don't want to move, but God is making you move because there's
25:59
no other place for you to be there. You've done everything that you were
26:02
supposed to do in that time in that space, but since you got comfortable,
26:06
he's making you uncomfortable. So what I need you to do is draw
26:08
your tears because there's something greater on the other side of where you're not wanting
26:15
to be. And so she was like, well, I just don't I
26:18
just don't know what to do, I said, Okay, well, I
26:21
need you to do me a favor. I said, when you leave here
26:22
today, I need you to go home, and I need you to write
26:26
down the things that make you want to stay there and the things that you
26:30
still have yet to obtain in your life. I said, And when you
26:33
do that, you'll realize why it's time for you to move. And about
26:38
two weeks after that, she came back. She said, I want to
26:41
thank you because you told me what I needed to do. And she said,
26:45
and I was hesitant on doing it. And when I tell you that,
26:48
lady had the brightest smile on her face and everything, and she was
26:51
in a better place and spirit wise, God and nobody else would have said
26:57
anything to me, she said, because everybody else I have been talking to
27:02
was saying the same thing that I was saying, and that was that I
27:04
was not ready to move. I said. God doesn't care about you being
27:07
ready. He just says, I told you, yeah, being ready.
27:15
He said, I told you to move like I'm gonna make you other boys.
27:22
And I've been in a situation. God, look here, I ain't
27:26
ready. He don't care. I'm gonna make you uncomfortable and you're gonna do
27:32
what I said do. You can be hard headed all you want to,
27:33
but I still got the upper hand. You're gonna move when I say.
27:37
And the point of getting you to trust his will in his way, yea,
27:45
knowing that he's not going to put you in a situation where you foeld
27:52
like you might be in. You might get a couple of scars, battle
27:56
scars, but you push through because He's not going to put more on you
28:03
than you can bear. See, that's one thing that I have. People
28:07
say that all the time. But listen, let me tell you something about
28:11
that. God already knows what's inside of you. Right. He ain't putting
28:15
nothing on you that you can't overcome. He already knows it's up to you
28:21
to bring out what he's brought He's already placed inside of you. So it's
28:23
not that he's putting more on you that you can bear or anything like that.
28:27
He already knows who he created you to be. It's up to you
28:30
to realize that, you know. So it's never Oh well, God will
28:34
never put He gives his toughest battles to his toughest soldiers. Yeah, whatever,
28:41
God knew what he could do. He already knew that we are the
28:45
ones that are late to the party. You know. We don't know that,
28:49
and we keep trying to run from it half the time because we don't
28:53
know, you know. And that's one thing that I can say about myself.
28:56
Sometimes I'll be like, okay, God, look here, if you
29:00
don't deliver the half of this stuff to the wrong person, because this this,
29:03
this can't be for me, And he'd be like, Okay, look
29:06
here, I don'e told you this, it is yours. I didn't mess
29:08
up with the address. I know what I'm doing, but got to look
29:11
at it, and can we talk about this first, because you and place
29:18
supposed to be and be like, I don't care nothing about what you said.
29:22
You say you uncomfortable, Okay, that's fine, You'll be uncomfortable and
29:26
still do what I told you to do. Okay, all right, I
29:30
got it. I'm gonna go, but I'm a little hesitant, but I'm
29:33
gonna go. I'm gonna do what you said. And that that's always the
29:37
thing with me. I'm always like, God, look here, you delivered
29:41
this to the wrong person. And we always have a little go back and
29:47
forth, and I know, God, be like little here, Trea,
29:48
look here. I said what I said, and I'm standing on my business
29:53
now, so I'm gonna need you do what I said. It's not worrying
29:57
about all this extra stuff. I didn't ask you what your bank account looked
30:02
like. I didn't ask you what your body feels like. I didn't ask
30:06
you none of that. I told you to move and that's all I need
30:08
you to do. I don't care nothing about what your finances look like.
30:12
I don't care nothing about none of that because that ain't got nothing to do
30:15
with me. If you trust me, you trust me completely. Don't be
30:18
trying to bargain with me or what I said. You know, so once
30:22
we learn how to just really and truly be obedient to what he's telling us,
30:26
do now, I, like I said, I am the one that
30:30
I know he'd be putting me on whole half the time and be like,
30:33
I can't deal with her right now, somebody else I know he'd be doing
30:37
it. Also that that was my faith scenario. We gotta walk by faith.
30:45
We gotta if we're gonna we're gonna have faith, we gotta walk in
30:48
it. And that's the hardest thing. I mean. And if you're gonna
30:52
trust me. It's like, okay, Lord, I mean, I mean
30:56
for real, for I'd be like, all right, Father, this is
30:57
what we're gonna do this, do this, Okay, let's go, let's
31:02
go. Listen. I'm not doing this without you. So we're gonna do
31:04
this. We're gonna do this together. I'm working. I'm working on actually
31:11
following through with whatever God tells me to do, because you know, I'm
31:19
one of those that couldn't have been God. God couldn't say it a little
31:22
loe me. No, he didn't tell me that, but you know,
31:27
I recognize the voice of God when I hear it, and so he makes
31:36
me very uncomfortable when i'm yeah. And he's taught me to stand on business
31:45
like, if I say it, then it is what it is like.
31:49
And the same with his words, he said it is what it is like.
31:55
I means side of that is just amazing. The blessing that you get
32:00
from following when you didn't see you didn't see it ahead of time, but
32:04
he already knew the head is just amazing. It's like, wow, okay,
32:10
father, Yeah, you got to go through the storm and see that's
32:15
some things people don't want to go through. The storm, and you got
32:20
to go through the storm, because what what are you gonna talk about.
32:22
You don't have a testimony if you haven't been tested. You can testimony with
32:27
how the test, you know. And people want the money part, but
32:30
they don't want the test. You can't have one without the other. You
32:35
know. It's a compound word for a reason. You know, it's you
32:40
know, you got to go through it to get to the other side.
32:44
You can't have the rainbows without the rain. You can't have the sun without
32:49
you know, you can't have none of it. You got to have both
32:52
your yin and yo yang. You got to have them both, you know.
32:55
And most people do not want the trouble that comes with being obedient to
33:01
what God has for them. They want the struggle. They want the success
33:07
without the struggle. And you also got to understand that you're gonna fail along
33:10
the way. You know, if you never fall, how you know what
33:14
it feels like to get up? You know, yeah, tell it.
33:16
How do you know how to do that? If you've never fallen, how
33:21
do you know how to get up? And my test, and my my
33:24
test is not going to look like your test, right, you can't you
33:29
can't sit there and say, well, that doesn't look like that be God.
33:31
My God told me to do it this way. That's what he told
33:35
me to do. You don't got to look like what you think is supposed
33:37
to look like. It's looking like what God told me to do, because
33:40
He designed that all differently. Like I mean, you know, what shoe
33:45
fits your foot won't fit my foot, you know, yeah, you know.
33:51
And we can always have similar paths, We can always have similar paths,
33:54
but our destination may even be the same. However, but there's gonna
33:59
be some things that I'm gonna have to go through. There's gonna be some
34:01
detours, there's gonna be some things that are going to get me stuck.
34:06
And I'm gonna arrive a little later than you, and sometimes I may arrive
34:08
a little bit before you. But it doesn't mean that our paths were not
34:14
connected along the way, you know. And there's something that you went through
34:19
that you can probably help me with, you know, and ease the burden
34:23
of what I'm dealing with. You know, sometimes He sends people to help
34:28
you lighten that load. But also we got to learn not to carry somebody
34:31
else's burdens along with us. You know, and sometimes we try to carry
34:37
somebody else's burdens and they're not for us. To carry. Their way is
34:39
not meant to weigh us down. It's only meant for us to understand what
34:45
it is that they're carrying and what they're bringing, and to sometimes help them
34:49
unpack whatever it is. But sometimes we keep so many secrets within ourselves that
34:53
we think that we're healing from it, and we haven't healed from anything,
34:57
you know, because we're then on and hiding behind what we've been through,
35:02
because we feel so shameful of what we've been through, because we don't want
35:06
to be judged by others. But you could be judged by man, but
35:08
the only person that's gonna even do anything about that judgment is God himself.
35:14
So you can talk about me, you could talk about the next person,
35:17
but ultimately you're still talking about yourself, and you're talking about a child of
35:21
God, you know, So talking about me means absolutely nothing. I could
35:25
care less what you want to say about me, because as long as God
35:29
is covering me, it doesn't matter. Like and what you think about me
35:32
and what you say about me, it ain't my business anyway, you know.
35:36
Hey, it's my business. It's not for me to know, you
35:40
know. And if it's for me to know, and if you're telling it
35:43
to somebody else, then it was never meant for me to know anyway,
35:45
you know. So, But we worry about things that we don't need to
35:49
worry about. We carry around burdens that don't need to be carried, things
35:52
that you've been holding on to your childhood from. And you wonder why you
35:57
can't heal is because you won't let them go. You're carrying that stuff,
36:00
you're carrying that hurt. You wondering why you're replaying the stories instead of actually
36:06
getting it out, telling your story so that you can actually heal from it.
36:09
Let that stuff go, so that you can actually heal from what you've
36:14
been through. You can't heal if you want to replay it and keep going
36:17
back. For Lord. You know, when I was twelve years old,
36:22
I fell out my bike and scraped my elbow. I got the scar right
36:24
here, but you know it's still having quite heal because you know, I
36:30
right, leave it alone, you know, leave it alone and let it
36:35
scab over so you're not even gonna notice that the scar. And over time
36:38
that scar begins to get so small that you don't even see it anymore.
36:43
You don't even recognize that anymore. But you know that it was there,
36:47
and but you heal from it, so it no longer causes you that pain.
36:52
But if you keep Lord, it's right there, it's still, you
36:57
know, bothering me. You know it's gonna keep bothering because you keep going
37:00
over them, messing with it. Let it go. Let me ask both
37:06
of you, what would you say to someone that is trying to hear from
37:14
the Lord, feels like they know what they're hearing, but are afraid to
37:20
move on what they're hearing. What advice do you give to somebody that you
37:24
know they don't know if they're actually hearing from the Lord or themselves. Basically,
37:32
God is never gonna tell you what you want to hear. I won't.
37:37
God ain't gonna tell you what you want to hear. God's gonna tell
37:40
you what you need to hear. Right, Yeah, that's the problem we
37:45
we worry about it being the right thing. God is never gonna steer you
37:50
in a place that's gonna cause you hurt, harm or danger, So He's
37:54
never do that. But if you got somebody that even yourself. Sometimes it's
38:00
gonna place you in a situation that's gonna cause you more harm than good.
38:05
That ain't enough God at all, because God is never gonna steer you in
38:08
that in that space, you know. So if you really want to know
38:14
that it's God, you gotta be still and listen. And that's that's really
38:17
what it boils down to. You gotta be still and listen because God talks
38:22
to us all the time. But are we quiet enough to hear him?
38:25
Amen? Like, are you quiet enough to hear him when he's talking to
38:30
you? Because He talks to you every day. But like I said before,
38:32
God is not gonna hold on y'all. Gotta tell babybody, oh baby
38:43
bye, I love you? Is you welcome? Baby? I love you?
38:58
Call me? And so yeah, listen, my babies are spoiled.
39:05
They grown, but they still. But you gotta be able to be still
39:13
and hear from God. But God talks to us every single day. He
39:17
does. He lets us know what we're dealing with, what we're going through.
39:22
But we get so busy that we don't make time for him and to
39:27
hear from him. And if you're not making time, God's not going to
39:30
force his way in he needs to hear from you just as much as you
39:35
want to hear from him. But you're not even quiet enough to hear him
39:39
when he's talking. And then sometimes you want to overtalk him when he is
39:45
talking to you because he's not saying what you want to hear. And that's
39:50
the problem, yeah, with most of us, because sometimes we'll call such
39:54
and such and we'll be on the phone and you've already preconceived the answer that
39:59
you want to hear, and then when they don't or they don't even listen
40:02
to what I'm saying, they ain't trying to hear what I'm saying. I
40:05
said this, and they trying to No, you had a preconceived answer,
40:10
and when they wouldn't bind your foolishness, now you feel like they mad at
40:15
you. And they not even trying to understand where you come from. No,
40:17
they hurt your foolishness. They're just not intent. Yeah, what's no
40:24
foolishness? So now you mad and got an attitude. You know. That's
40:29
why I tell Tan, y'all don't be asking me because I ain't what you
40:34
want to hear. Like, don't do that, because I'm you gonna be
40:37
mad, you don't. I just don't take you gonna be mad if you
40:45
ask me, because I'm not gonna tell you nothing to sugarcoat your feelings to
40:49
be sensitive. I will say this though, in the twenty thirty years that
40:59
we've been a part of each other's lives, you've never told me anything out
41:02
of pocket. You've never told me anything that I didn't need to hear anything.
41:09
You've never told me anything that would hurt me, harm me, or
41:16
steer me wrong. Like I genuinely feel like God gives us the people we
41:22
need. You did he did? He We met through a spin of bit
41:29
for the group God knew we needed when we needed it. I mean as
41:36
many people that are in those groups, I mean hundreds of thousands of people.
41:44
He connects the people that He puts together. And you know, I
41:51
treasure the both of you because, like you know, you don't You never
41:57
know when God is gonna call any body home, So you try, you
42:01
try to give flowers while they can be smelled. Mm hm. You know,
42:07
anytime I got a show and something comes up where they you know,
42:14
they can't come or whatever, I always reach out to YouTube. I don't
42:16
think to reach out to anybody else, because one, I know that what's
42:22
going to be said is going to be something beneficial to somebody, right did
42:29
he just down there talking? And I was going that way? But and
42:37
I'm sorry, but it's a bad I understand. I get it, you
42:52
understand. Thank you. I do. And like you, I've been by
43:02
your side to witness a lot of things that you endure and you being but
43:08
you don't break. And that that in itself, you know, having that
43:15
type of strength is not always easy, and it's you know, I've seen
43:22
you in moments that would fold the average person. Yeah, and me included,
43:29
like and that stuff. Like I was sitting here looking at my just
43:35
my my journey this far and from losing my ability to walk, losing my
43:44
ability to talk, and you know, regaining all of that and to be
43:47
in this space right now. It's like I thought I was broken, you
43:54
know, I really thought that I was broken completely because I did not see
44:00
this moment. But I prayed for this moment, you know, and so
44:06
when I look back, it's like, Okay, God, you took me
44:09
through the valley, but you've brought me to the hilltop, you know,
44:15
and there's still more for me to climb, but to go from where close
44:22
to death basically knocking on death's door, you know, and being in the
44:29
space now it's like, okay, God, there's something that's bigger on the
44:32
other side. What got you smiling over there? Like all hard and everything,
44:37
Lord Jesus, like she got the leg going on. Hay, Sorry,
44:50
I'm sorry, Oh my gosh, Okay, I'm sorry. I don't
44:54
call it out, just like Tanya man, you know where Okay, you
45:07
know what? Uh huh head, come get your children, Jesus right,
45:15
come get your shy look. But you know that's the problem. You know
45:22
he knows oh so well. But you know he he connects people in the
45:29
time, and he will always send confirmation where it's necessary and when it's needed.
45:35
So when you asking for a sign, don't be like God, that
45:38
ain't the sign I asked for. No, you ask for confirmation. So
45:42
God sent you confirmation. Like he puts you in places, in spaces with
45:46
people that are connected to the next place that he's taking you to. Like
45:52
there is places and wounds that your name is being mentioning that you haven't even
45:55
stepped foot in just yet. But that's because He's already got it. Aligned
46:01
for you. You just gotta be able to walk through the space in which
46:06
He's created for you. But half the time we don't be ready to go
46:09
because we want to stay confined to the people that we think are connected to
46:14
what he said. Let them people go. They can't go where I'm taking
46:17
you, and it's okay. You can still talk to them, you can
46:22
still have a friendship with it. But where I am taking you, they
46:25
cannot go, you know, And it's okay to let them go because they
46:31
can't go where I'm taking you, And you gotta be okay with leaving some
46:36
people behind. Your loyalty to some people has an expiration day, but we
46:40
don't always think about that. You know, your loyalty to some people just
46:45
because you got history together doesn't mean that they're supposed to be connected to your
46:50
tomorrow. They are connected to your today, but they're not connected to your
46:53
tomorrow. And the people that knew you yesterday don't know you today because you're
46:58
gonna be different tomorrow. You know, so understand where you are in this
47:02
life that yesterday was yesterday. You learned some things about yourself yesterday that you
47:07
didn't know that you needed for today. So what you take from today is
47:12
gonna build upon your tomorrow. But be wise of what that is. And
47:16
sometimes we'd be like, no, I don't need to take that with me.
47:22
But that very thing that you don't want to take with you is the
47:25
thing that you need. You know. Sometimes you got people like to burn
47:30
a bridge, but don't understand you gonna need to cross that one again.
47:34
Just because you can swim doesn't mean that you don't need to cross that again,
47:37
because God would show you that you need to be humble in the places
47:42
where people talked about you, people threw dirt on your name. I know
47:45
stuff that people have said about me, and they don't know to this day
47:50
that I know what they said because it ain't my business. And I don't
47:53
care whatever you said about me because you were talking and having a conversation with
47:59
somebody else. That was y'all's conversation. That was what y'all needed to say,
48:02
that's what you needed to get off your chest. So that ain't my
48:07
business, So why should I care? You know, well, what is
48:09
such and such cale you will tell you about me? Nothing because it ain't
48:15
my big Exactly, if you want to know, call them and ask them
48:21
and I tell people all the time. If you didn't call me to tell
48:22
me that you got a problem with me, that's your problem. It ain't
48:24
mine, and I don't care. So if you can't call me and tell
48:30
me what your problem is with me, don't discuss me with nobody else because
48:34
that ain't my issue. That ain't my problem. That's your problem. So
48:37
you address yours yourself accordingly. So when people start coming to you talking about
48:42
what is and that, tell them take it to God because it ain't your
48:46
beasy. Yeah, take it to God. It ain't my business. Take
48:51
it up with him. And I just can I just backtrack a little bit
48:53
of when you was asking you about how do you know you can hear from
48:58
God? Or whatever? The you know, how do you know from God?
49:00
Well, the way I feel about it is, if you're not talking
49:02
to him, what makes you think you expect to be able to hear from
49:07
him? Right? If you're not communicating. If you're not communicating, of
49:09
course you're not going to ever hear from Him're gonna talk to you when you
49:14
talk to him, not saying that he's not gonna talk in general, but
49:17
he wants that interaction with us. And if you're not communicating with him.
49:21
He's not going to communicate with you. And I mean you got to ask
49:24
that, even ask that in your prayers, say, you know, Lord,
49:28
let me hear you speak to me. Speak to me, Lord,
49:31
speak to me. And sometimes the Lord will go silent on me and let
49:36
me ramble on and let me ramble on. And then two days later he
49:39
then told me what I wanted to hear. And I'm like, well,
49:42
wait a minute, I asked that two days ago. Yeah, remember talking
49:51
about because guy, exactly that part exactly. Yeah. God does not work
50:00
on our time. And that's what people still they make the misconception of thinking
50:05
God operates for that. No, no, no, God ain't on your
50:08
time. God ain't on nobody's spring take. He don't watch nobody's clock.
50:14
He don't clock in, and he don't clock out. He's always available,
50:16
but he always moving and doing stuff. We ain't got no business wondering when
50:22
we gonna hear from him. He told you two weeks ago what you needed
50:25
to do, and you still stuff over here trying to figure out what he
50:28
gonna answer. He did, he already did. That's why I tell people
50:32
stop minding God's business and mind Joe own on this. He obedient to what
50:38
he told you to do. So if this man, you understand what he
50:44
said. But you over there trying to tell Sam what he needed to do,
50:47
right, You minded Sam's business instead of minding your own your own hell
50:55
anyway, I don't understand. Are always minding somebody else, Like, okay,
51:05
y'all. Today at they were sitting up there talking about celebrity news or
51:08
whatever, who's getting divorced and stuff like that, and they was like,
51:12
did you hear about such? As? I don't know them people, and
51:15
I don't care they talking about. What did you hear? I don't know
51:20
them from Adam. If they walked down the street in front of me,
51:22
I wouldn't care. I don't know them. It ain't my business who they
51:27
married and who they divorcing. That ain't my business. I didn't marry them
51:30
they're talking about. But I'm just trying to keep you in the conas.
51:32
I don't care. I don't even want to be in this conversation. Y'all.
51:37
Don't call my name five times to tell me about somebody I don't even
51:42
know. I was ignoring you for a reason because I don't know them.
51:45
That ain't my business. They didn't call me on the phone to tell me
51:50
about it, So why am I asking about it? Leave me alone?
51:54
What time? They was like, you're just to be here? Ray,
52:01
I'm talking to me about these people getting the work. I don't know.
52:05
I don't even know when they got married. I wasn't there, no invite.
52:09
I don't care, like, stop talking to me about your people.
52:15
I don't know. My theme for this year has always been take me out
52:21
the group chat because I ain't got nothing to do with like, don't even
52:24
put me in the group chat. They were sitting right there they veta vetata.
52:30
Did you hear about some No? I didn't hear you calling me?
52:36
So what do you want to tell me about somebody else's business that I already
52:42
told you? I don't care like I. You didn't tell her about Sierra
52:46
and Wussell, okay, because you know she ain't trying to hear that about
52:49
no babies. Look, baby, y'all, I ain't even know nothing about
52:59
that, because, let me tell you, it ain't my business. My
53:02
baby is twenty one, how about it? You know I know about that
53:07
one. I know about that one. I don't know about nobody else.
53:10
And I got talking up. It's just a little bit. I don't know
53:14
nothing about nobody else. Don't be calling me. What did you hear about
53:17
such? Saying no, they didn't call me and tell me, So I
53:21
ain't hurt nothing. I ain't watch the news either. I don't know nothing
53:25
about what going on. If I sit down and I watch it, I
53:29
know if if they ain't call me to tell me, it ain't my business.
53:34
Yeah, I don't watch the news for that very reason. Yeah.
53:37
Yeah, y'all trying to keep me up today with some celebrity news talking about
53:43
somebody don't got married this concert here, I don't know. I don't know
53:47
nobout it. I don't know them people. I wasn't at the wedding,
53:52
I ain't gonna be at the divorce here, and I ain't gonna be no
53:55
mother. So why's the crazy thing about all of that is you say that
54:04
you mean it, but because they're not hearing it in the way that you're
54:08
trying to deliver it, Yeah, they take it and feel like, oh,
54:16
it's just gotten your business. Yeah, And I said, y'all keep
54:22
talking to me about this stuff. I don't know them people they talk about,
54:27
Well, let me tell you about such. Then I just tell you
54:30
I don't know them people, and I don't care. I ain't trying to
54:34
be funny. I'm telling you I really truly don't care. It don't it
54:37
ain't good. They ain't need me now, I mean, they ain't coming
54:42
down here to take me to lunch. They ain't come down here to give
54:45
me nothing. So why do I care. It's not affecting me whether or
54:50
not they stay together or they get the voice. I don't care, Like
54:54
I don't know nothing about it. They was talking to me about who was
54:59
the people Cardi B And what's the boy name? I don't know? Yeah,
55:08
so I'm like, okay, And then they started to talk about the
55:12
one of the guys who got killed or whatever take off or something they said,
55:19
and I said, okay, well what a minute is that the group
55:22
the migos and they talking about you? I said, well, see,
55:23
I know the group name. I don't know them people. I don't even
55:28
know them people. I said, so y'all talking to me and I got
55:30
to do research and mentally go back to what I know. I don't know
55:36
them people. Since I don't know them people, I can't entertain the conversation
55:42
of what I don't know, or you asking for my input and I got
55:46
nothing to input on this. I don't have them, so they just stopped
55:52
talking to me about that. I'm like you talking about the club because I
55:55
know how to do that. I don't know them people. I ain't got
55:59
nothing to give you on that. Just stop talking to me. Let me
56:02
stay on here. Yeah, yeah, leave me my bubble by myself because
56:15
I'm fine on Monday. But Monday Monday today, Oh, I ain't got
56:29
Oh I needed this, That's the way I did. But I appreciate both
56:37
of you for coming tonight to hang out with me and talk to me and
56:42
make my show what it is you listen. Yeah, so I appreciate both
56:52
of you. I will be back, I do believe on Why am I
56:58
still looking at the calendar for November. I'll be back on the twenty second.
57:05
And yeah, we're we're closing out the year fast. And yeah,
57:10
you know it's almost over. Better get it together whatever it's still on your
57:15
to do list from the beginning of the year. You got a couple of
57:16
more days. Get it done. And if he about it, look,
57:22
don't care. Twenty twenty four because it didn't belong because it was for twenty
57:25
twenty three. So you take it. You didn't get it done. It
57:30
ain't meant for twenty twenty four. So you know, anything that's negative,
57:35
keep it where it is. Anything that's passive, to take it with you
57:37
and bless yourself and bless those that are are around you. You know,
57:42
shine, you light, shoint it on the others. Pour from one cup
57:45
into the other, so that people who are connected to you, they are
57:49
always flowing over but never empty. So if you got people that are around
57:54
you and they're flowing into you, your cup will never be empty. You're
57:58
always going to be whatever you need. God, mm hmm, thank you
58:04
Jesus. Yeah, you just ended my show right there, because absolute enough
58:12
to be said. I mean, you know, I give my spill,
58:15
you know, but you know you never denied. They have got his business.
58:23
He don't need no partner in crime. He got this. You know,
58:28
mind you business, stay out of business. Yeah mh With that,
58:35
y'all said, I have bid everybody a good night. Y'all have real okay
58:51
to every second Monday and for a Friday of each money that you don't want
58:58
to miss. That would be your body don't man