Latest / Sacred Men / Words that Win: Use Your Mouth To Lead At Work and Home

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Words that Win: Use Your Mouth To Lead At Work and Home · Sacred Men

0:00
What's up man? Listen to me.
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That 2 1/2 ounce piece of meat rolling around behind your teeth
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right now has more power over your life than your biceps, your
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bank account, and your bench press combined.
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It can make your marriage or break it.
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It can get you promoted at work or get you fired.
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It can raise sons who love Jesus or sons who resent you for the
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rest of their lives. And most of us are walking
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around with a loaded weapon, treating it like a toy and
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wondering why our lives are full of chaos and brokenness.
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Well, welcome to Sacred Men. This is the Sacred Men podcast.
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My name is Justin. I'm the lead pastor at Sacred
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City Church in Bettendorf, IA. I am a husband, I'm a father of
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five kids, and I'm a man who is flat out tired of watching
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dudes, good Christian dudes, lose at life because no one ever
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taught them how to talk. Before we dive in, I'm going to
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remind you why this show exists. The premise really is simple.
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As the men go, so goes the family.
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As the family goes, so goes the church.
1:14
As the church goes, so goes the society.
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So if you want to see real change in a nation, which we do,
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you don't start with politics. You start by forging men of
1:25
righteousness and virtue. And right now, brothers, we have
1:28
a shortage of men like that. So this show is all about
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raising up godly, virtuous men to lead their wives well.
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First, to lead themselves well, lead their wives well, lead
1:40
their family well, lead in the church and ultimately lead in
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society. So for the next half hour or so,
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I want to hit a topic that the book of Proverbs hits harder
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than almost any other topic. Your mouth, your words, your
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speech, how a man uses his tongue to either fulfill his
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calling or burn his life to the ground.
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But before we jump in, if you're not subscribed, do me a favor.
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Hit that subscribe button. If you are hopeful, hit that
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like button. Man, I know we haven't pushed
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If you got a question, you can add a comment down below.
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If this podcast helps you out at all, share it with a brother and
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it helps our podcast grow. Last week we we gained like 30
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subscribers, so that was pretty cool.
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Thank you guys for that. So here's the thesis for the
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whole episode. The man who masters his mouth
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wins at work and wins at home. The man who doesn't master his
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mouth will lose both guaranteed. What you say and how you say it
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matters that much. Let's get into it now.
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King Solomon wrote this about 3000 years ago in Proverbs
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chapter 18. Death and life are in the power
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of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.
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Now think about how crazy that is.
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The human tongue weighs about the same as a chicken egg,
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right? 2 1/2 ounces of soft muscle
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guarded by those little white Sentinels shaped like Chiclets.
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And the Bible says that thing sitting inside your mouth right
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now has the power of life and death.
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Now, he's not speaking poetically.
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He's speaking literally. Here.
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Your tongue can breathe life into your wife, your kids, your
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employees, your clients, your boss, your friends.
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Or it can murder the people you say you love with words that
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often never fully heal. And the second-half of that
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verse? It really is the kicker.
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Those who love it will eat its fruits.
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What that means is what you say today, you will eat tomorrow.
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Speak life today and you will feast on blessing later.
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Speak death today and you will choke on the poison you planted.
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Rather 90% of the trouble in your marriage, your business,
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and your relationships with your kids come out of your own mouth.
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You spoke it into reality. Now that's not just poetry or
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some kind of Foo Foo new age spirituality.
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This is a covenant reality. In Genesis 1.
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God speaks creation into being, he said, and it was.
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And you man, are made in the image of God.
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You are made in the image of that speaking God.
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So your words for better or worse, create the world your
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family and your Co workers live inside of.
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Your words shape reality, your words shape worlds.
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Your words tell a story and that story shapes your kids, your
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family, your marriage, all of these things.
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So let me ask you straight, what kind of world are you currently
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building with the words that you speak?
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Is it a life giving garden or more like a post apocalyptic
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hellscape? You can't blame anyone else for
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the words you speak and the world your words create.
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Now here's where I want to plant a scriptural flag in the ground
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because a lot of Christian teaching on speech sounds like
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kind of like a babysitter's mini Ted talk or something.
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Speak nicely, speak kind words, Use your positive, you know, use
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your positivity, use inside voices.
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Don't call names. Or the old Saturday Night Live
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skit. It was called Positive
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Affirmations with Stuart Smalley.
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And he would look himself in the mirror and he would say, I'm
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good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like
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me. Well, quite frankly, that's soft
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and gay. Real Christianity goes deeper
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and darker than that, but it's also far more glorious at the
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same time. Jesus says this, Your mouth is
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not the main problem. Your mouth is actually a symptom
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of the main problem. The real problem is your heart,
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Jesus said in Luke 6:45. For out of the abundance of the
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heart, the mouth speaks. Proverbs 423 says the same thing
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1000 years earlier. Keep your heart with all
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vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.
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What's that mean? Your words are a spring.
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First, your words come from a heart.
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If you have an evil heart, if you have a selfish heart, if you
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have a soft heart, if you have a lustful heart, if you have a
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broken heart, your words come from that, right?
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And when Proverb says that your words are a spring, a spring
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only pours out what's already put in it at its source.
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So when you snap at your wife, that's actually not a mouth
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problem, that's a heart problem. When you gossip about a Co
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worker, that's a heart problem. When you flatter the client you
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secretly despise, that's actually a heart problem.
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When you blow up your kids, apologize, and then do the exact
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same thing an hour later, right, that's a heart problem.
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It's not your temper. It's not your anger.
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It's a heart problem. You have a heart that's not been
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sanctified in that corner yet. See, Christianity takes this
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seriously because what we believe about the doctrine of
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man, we believe in total depravity.
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That means sin isn't just in one little area of my life.
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Sin has touched every part of me, including my tongue.
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And that means no amount of willpower, no amount of self
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help gurus, honestly, no amount of books full of tips and tricks
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on how to control your tongue. None of that is actually going
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to get to the deeper problem, which is my heart.
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You can, you know, white knuckle your words for a week.
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You might even go a month without yelling or losing your
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temper. But sin wins the long game
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against willpower every single time, right?
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What's in you will always come out of you.
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What's in you will always come out of you.
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But here's some good news. We also believe as Christians in
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regeneration, Ezekiel 36 promised, I will give you a new
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heart and a new spirit I will put within you.
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Well, that is the gospel in a nutshell.
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Jesus does not come to just adjust our behavior and just
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tweak how we speak. He comes to give us a new heart,
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a resurrected heart, a new source for the spring of our
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mouth to flow from. And a resurrected heart produces
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resurrected speech. A new Christian heart produces
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new Christian speech. Now, it doesn't do it perfectly,
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doesn't do it overnight, but progressively by the Spirit over
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a lifetime of sanctification. As God changes our hearts, He
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will also change our words. So when I give you principles
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here in a minute, don't hear these as life hacks, right?
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Hear them as the fruit of a new heart.
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If you try to do this stuff without Christ and without the
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Spirit, you're going to fail every time.
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But if you do it with Him and with the Spirit, the Spirit's
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going to turn your words into a weapon for the Kingdom of God.
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It's going to be a productive tool for building Christian
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households. So let's get practical.
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This is 8 principle, 8 principles for a man's mouth.
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Now, I preached on this a few weeks back, and this isn't just
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a regurgitated sermon here. I'm going to use the same
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principles. I'm going to target it
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specifically to us as men #1 your lips must be true, right?
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Your lips must be true. Your words must be true.
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Proverbs 12/22. Lying lips are an abomination to
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the Lord. He hates lying lips.
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He despises lying lips. But those who act faithfully are
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his delight. He loves faithful men.
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He loves faithful words. What does that mean at work?
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Well, don't lie on your resume. Don't pad your expense report.
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Don't tell your boss the project is on track when you know it's
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not. Don't flatter your client to
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close the deal and then trash him as a fool in the group group
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chat later. A man with a reputation for
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truth is irreplaceable because most men in corporate America,
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Christian or not, will tell you what you want to hear instead of
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telling you what you need to hear.
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The truth. What does that mean at home?
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Well, at home, don't lie to your wife.
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Not about money, not about where you were, not about what you
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looked at on your phone, Right? Tell the truth.
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Christians take the 9th commandment seriously.
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You shall not bear false witness.
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That doesn't just mean in a courtroom.
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It means in your kitchen, in your texts, and even in your own
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head. Your household is a little
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church. Your household is a little
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court. And honestly, you are the pastor
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of it and you are the king of it.
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You, brother, either either you're going to run your
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household and you're going to run your little court on truth,
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or you're going to run it into the ground with lies.
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Number one, your words must be true #2 timing and spirit matter
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almost as much as content. Proverbs 2511.
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A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of
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silver. Hear that?
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A word fitly spoken? Proverbs 151-A soft answer turns
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away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
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Does this look like at home? Well, the right feedback at the
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wrong moment will often blow up in your face.
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You probably shouldn't correct a subordinate in front of his
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peers unless you absolutely have to.
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You shouldn't drop hard news on your team at 4:59 on a Friday,
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right? Don't yell at the vendor in the
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Openoffice. Take him aside.
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Wise men read the room. They want their words to fit the
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context of the moment. Fools, You know, Back the dump
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truck up and just dump the truck regardless of the timing at
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home. This means you probably
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shouldn't start a hard conversation with your wife 30
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seconds after you get home and she's got kids screaming around
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and she's trying to make dinner. If you've got a sensitive son,
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you probably shouldn't correct him in front of his sisters,
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right? You shouldn't call out his bad
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grades in front of the whole family.
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Maybe, maybe you need to take him aside and do that privately.
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Timing, brothers, is a form of love and our, our I used spirit
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here, timing and spirit because if I use the word tone, tone can
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be taken in all kind of negative ways.
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And I don't, I don't want to talk about that.
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So our spirit, our attitude, how we're using our facial
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expressions, the the emotions that we add to our words.
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We should talk to our wives and to our kids differently than we
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talk to our Co workers, right? Only a fool would talk to his
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wife the same way he talks to other men.
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We're to live with our wives in an understanding way because
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she's the weaker vessel. Scripture says.
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Well, that means most of the time we should have a softer
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spirit when speaking to our wives than we do when we're
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speaking to our brothers, right? So timing and spirit matter
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almost as much as content #3 most of the time.
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Less is more. Proverbs 10/19.
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When words are many, transgression is not lacking.
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But whoever restrains his lips is prudent.
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At work. The man who talks the most in
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the meeting is almost never the man who actually is the leader
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in the room, who actually runs the company.
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Men who build things tend to listen, think, speak sparingly,
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and then act decisively. The loudest guy in the room is
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almost always compensating for something.
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So don't be that guy at home. When you are angry, shut up.
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When you're hurt, shut up. When you're frustrated, shut up.
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Some of you are like, well then I would just never talk.
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Well, you got a heart problem brother.
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You got to deal with that heart right?
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When you're exhausted at 10:00 PM, best advice might be shut
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up. Like I have never regretted not
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saying something at 10:00 at night.
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I have regretted plenty of things I did say at 10 o'clock
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10:00 at night because I was tired, exhausted, and
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frustrated. The wise man knows when to talk
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and the fool assumes that he always should.
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Sometimes the best thing to do is just shut up #4 Use fighting
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words sparingly. Use fighting words sparingly.
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Proverbs 186A Fool's lips walk into a fight and his mouth
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invites a beating. Now we say that in a modern way.
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We say don't let or don't let your mouth write a check that
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your butt can't cash. Listen, there's a time for hard
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words and a time for hard action.
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But the man who runs his mouth all day about how tough he is is
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usually the biggest idiot in the room.
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So at work, don't threaten what you won't actually deliver.
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Don't say I'm going to quit if you make me do that, unless
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you're ready to quit At home, don't threaten discipline to
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your kids that you don't plan to follow through on.
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Don't drop ultimatums on your wife you're not actually willing
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to honor. Your word becomes worthless the
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moment you break it. And if you're threatening to, to
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discipline your kids all the time and you're never actually
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following through it, through with it, your words, your, your,
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your words are creating a world where your kids know dad's
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saying this because he's mad, but he's not actually going to
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do anything about it. And you're going to see more
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disobedience in your kids until you actually, they're going to
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disobey, disobey, disobey until finally you get up out of that
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chair #5 the wise man refuses to gossip.
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Proverbs 1628A dishonest man spreads strife and a whisperer
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separates close friends. Now it's easy to think that
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gossip is just a woman's sin. It's not.
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Think about locker room trash talk, office slander, texting
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your buddy about the dumb thing the pastor said, trashing your
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your boss to your wife for an hour every night.
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All of that is actually gossip, and it rots everything it
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touches. Christianity takes this sin
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deadly seriously because we believe the tongue is meant to
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be primarily a means of building others up.
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Right. And you're using it when you're
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gossiping. Slander.
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You're using it to tear others down.
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Gossip's not a small sin. It's the quickest way to poison
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relationships. You can destroy a company, you
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can destroy a church, you can destroy a marriage, all with
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your tongue. So at work this means be the guy
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who refuses to trash teammates behind their back.
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If you have a problem with a Co worker, go to them directly.
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Be a man Matthew 18 style. Your reputation for not not
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gossiping will set you apart faster than your resume ever
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will. At home, do not trash your wife
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to your buddies. Here's a word of wisdom.
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Even if your wife is frustrated with her family, do not badmouth
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her family to her. Now, you could say they're
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wrong, but you, if you get into, you know, your mom's an idiot.
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Yeah, your sister's crazy. Yeah.
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If you get into that, it's going to come back and bite you in the
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end. I promise you right at home.
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Don't criticize your pastor. You know, at at Sunday lunch in
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front of your kids. What are you doing there?
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You're actually creating a world where you're teaching the next
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generation what to do with their mouths by what to do with you.
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What What you're doing with yours.
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So you're teaching your kids how to gossip.
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You're teaching your kids how to trash the pastor.
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You're teaching your kids how to disrespect your boss.
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Number six, your words should build and protect community
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forever is 1218. There's one whose rash words are
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like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings
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healings. This is a big one here.
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If you're prone to anger, if you're prone to quick words,
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your words come out of your mouth like a sword and they can
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damage everyone they touch. So every time you open your
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mouth, you should ask yourself the question, is what I'm about
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to say going to help? Or is this just meant to get my
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feelings out? See, therapeutic venting is not
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a biblical category. You are not owed the right to
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dump your frustrations on the people around you.
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Now you should have a close group of friends where you can
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do that. If you need to vent, you can
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vent. But you can't do that with Co
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workers necessarily. You shouldn't be doing that all
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the time. Why?
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Speech is constructive, it builds things up.
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It's aimed, it's targeted, it's intentional.
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You have to focus your words in order to build them up, Build
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other people up. So at work, this means you need
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to speak purposefully to build up your team.
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You need to speak to solve the problem, not just say how
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frustrated you are with your teammates or with the schedule
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or what's going on. You need to speak to bring
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clarity. Don't speak to vent.
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Don't speak to humiliate. And for the love of everything,
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don't speak to grandstand in front of the boss.
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Everyone hates that guy. At home, your wife and your kids
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are not an emotional punching bag.
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They're not there so you can get out your frustration and feel
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better about yourself. The words you speak in your home
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should protect the ones under your roof, not wound them #7
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hard words can still be loving words.
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Proverbs 27 Six Faithful are the wounds of a friend.
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Profuse are the kisses of an enemy.
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This is where I want to push back on weak therapeutic soft
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serve Christianity. Listen, real Christianity is not
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nice Christianity. Jesus called Peter Satan to his
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face. Paul called the Galatians fools.
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John the Baptist called the Pharisees abroad Vipers.
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Solomon labels people, and throughout the Proverbs he
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labels them. The sluggard, the scoffer, the
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fool, the adulteresss, on and on and on he goes.
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There's a place for hard words. Real friendship needs to have
22:12
some teeth every now and then. So at work, sometimes the loving
22:17
thing to do is to tell your buddy he is about to make a
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career ending decision. He's being a fool sometimes, the
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loving thing to tell your employees.
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Listen man, this isn't working. You're actually not a hard
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worker and I don't want you on the team anymore.
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Right? When it says the profuse are the
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kisses of an enemy, it means there's some people that that
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face pet people to death, right? Don't kiss someone to death.
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That's therapeutic face petting when what they really need is a
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hard word from a brother that would bring healing and
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instruction. The Bible says the people perish
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for a lack of knowledge. Sometimes you just got to tell
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them what they need to know and it might hurt, but you're you're
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loving them at home. Sometimes your son needs to
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hear. Stop acting like a fool.
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Sometimes your wife needs to hear.
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I think you're wrong on this one, babe.
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Sometimes your daughter needs to hear.
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That dress is way too short. It's a modest listen.
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As men, we don't get any credit for avoiding hard conversations.
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We get credit for having those hard conversations.
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Well, if we're going to be men that honor God with our speech,
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we've got to be willing to have those hard conversations.
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Last one junk drawer #8 clean up your mouth.
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Proverbs 10/31. The mouth of the righteous
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brings forth wisdom, but the perverse tongue will be cut off.
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This one's simple. If your speech would embarrass
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Jesus, stop it. Dirty jokes, porn talk, crude
24:02
language about women, cursing like a sailor for the fun of it.
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The mouth of a righteous man doesn't have to sound like a
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church lady, but it should not sound like a frat boy either.
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You're a son of the King, right? You've been claimed by Jesus.
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You've been given a new heart by Jesus.
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Speak like it. OK, I want to zoom in here on
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work for a minute because this is where a lot of guys are going
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to spend the majority of their time.
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And here's the truth about the workplace.
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Most of your success at work is not decided by your skill.
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It's decided by your words, by how you present yourself, by how
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you present your ideas, by how you negotiate, by how you
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deliver good news and how you deliver bad news, by how you
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handle conflict, by whether or not your words can be trusted.
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The best engineer on the team who can't communicate is going
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to get passed over by the second best engineer who can.
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And we know we've been talking a lot about this doctrine of
25:05
vocation that we believe our job is not just a job, right?
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It's a century post from God. It's a calling from God, right?
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We've covered this before, but Martin Luther said that even a
25:18
milk maid milking a cow is serving God if she does it in
25:22
faith. So what does that mean?
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That means our nine to five is sacred ground.
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It's a post God has assigned us to.
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And the way you speak at your post is one of the most
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important tools he's given you to honor him there.
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So here's my three-step framework for winning with your
25:40
words at work. Number one, be the man who keeps
25:44
his word. It's simple.
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If you said you'd have it done by Friday, get it done by
25:49
Friday. If you said you'd call the
25:50
client back, call the client back, right?
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This is in biblical. In biblical words, this is
26:00
called oath keeping, right? And our oath keeping is meant to
26:05
reflect the ultimate oath Keeper, God.
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When God says it, he does it. God always keeps covenant.
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So that means we are to be men who always keep covenant.
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We always keep our promises. That's how that's one of the
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ways we image him at the office. And listen, do you know how rare
26:25
this is in corporate America? A man who actually keeps his
26:29
word is almost a freaking Unicorn.
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Well, be that Unicorn, right? You're, and I promise you, if
26:36
you're that guy, you're going to get promoted, man.
26:40
Because real leaders want those types of people around them #2
26:45
be the man who speaks last and speaks truthfully.
26:50
That means we have to learn to sit in the meeting.
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And I know this is hard, right? We want to speak first.
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We want to get our ideas across. We think that's what a leader
27:03
does. But it's better to sit in the
27:06
meeting, take in every voice, everything everybody's saying,
27:10
and then speak when it counts. Men who talk too early usually
27:16
tip their hand and talk themselves out of influence.
27:20
Men who speak last and speak carefully and speak honestly.
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Those men become absolutely indispensable in the workplace.
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And when they finally speak and they tell the truth, even when
27:33
it's uncomfortable. While that's leadership and
27:36
people are going to listen to him #3 be the man who refuses to
27:41
play the office political game. Means don't gossip, don't trash
27:46
the boss. This isn't Survivor right?
27:49
Don't form little office alliances behind people's backs.
27:54
In that kind of survivor office, the man who refuses to be a
27:58
snake becomes legendary dude. Like those are the guys that get
28:03
promoted not because you played the game better than anyone
28:06
else, because you refuse to play it at all, right?
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I'm not here to play games. I'm here to speak the truth.
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I'm here to listen and make wise decisions and act courageously
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and do what's best for the business.
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And I'm not here to play political games.
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The boss is going to notice that.
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And not just the boss, but God honors men who refuse to trade
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their integrity, you know, for popularity at the office.
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All right, now let's look at the home.
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Because we all know if we win at work and lose at home, we lose,
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period. All right?
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There's no amount of career accomplishment that's can
28:44
compensate us for a destroyed wife and children who don't want
28:48
to come to our house for Thanksgiving 10 years down the
28:51
road. We need to embrace the idea and
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the doctrine of covenant headship.
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What does that mean? It means you are the head of
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your house. Now I know that's not a popular
29:08
idea in 2026, but I don't really care because it's biblical.
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Ephesians 5 tells us this. Christ is the head of the church
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and the husband is the head of the wife.
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And the way you execute that headship is primarily with our
29:23
words. Ephesians 5 says that Christ
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sanctifies the church by washing her with the water of the Word.
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Hear that Christ sanctifies his bride by washing her with the
29:38
word his. The primary means of
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sanctification of the church is through the word of God.
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That's what Jesus uses. Well, that's the same for us.
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We're to wash our wives with our words.
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We're to sanctify our wives and our families with our words.
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Now the reality is your your wife is either being washed or
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stained by your words. Every single day you open your
30:08
mouth, you're either cleansing her or you're corrupting her.
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You're either speaking life into your home or you're speaking
30:15
death into your home. There really is no neutral
30:18
ground here. So here's three specific
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applications for for speaking words of life into your home.
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Number one to your wife, speak life on purpose.
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Your wife needs words of life spoken to her from you.
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Not just correction, not just requests, not just scheduling,
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not just grunts and small talk over dinner.
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Actual words of affection, actual words of affirmation.
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I love you. You're beautiful, you're a great
31:00
mom. Thank you for taking care of
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that. You're amazing.
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These types of words, actual words of leadership and vision.
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Babe, I've been praying about this.
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This is where I think the Lord's leading our family.
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This is where I think we need to go.
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When was the last time you told your wife in specific detail
31:19
what you love about her, what you appreciate about her?
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When was the last time you prayed out loud over her?
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When was the last time you blessed her not just with a
31:33
gift, but with your voice? The Puritans had a tradition of
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speaking blessings over their wives.
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They knew what some of us don't know, that the husband's voice
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is a God ordained means of grace in a woman's life.
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One of the ways I do this is I do it at dinner.
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I do it at dinner when I'm praying over our meal.
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I am thanking God for our wife, my wife and the kids mom.
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I'm thanking God for the sacrifices she she's made to put
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the food on the table. And I'm rejoicing in my wife in
32:08
that moment. And I want my kids to follow
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suit and be thankful even if they don't like what's on the
32:12
table. Be thankful for all the hard
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work and effort she put into it, the creativity, the, the, the
32:19
amount of time, all of that. OK to your children pronounce a
32:25
blessing. Our dad voice is literally
32:30
building the inner world of our kids and that inner world in our
32:36
kids. They, they're going to live in
32:38
that world for the rest of their life.
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So the way that we talk to them at age 8 will become the way
32:44
they talk to themselves at age 38.
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So if you speak shame, they're going to hear shame forever.
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If you speak vision, they're going to hear vision forever.
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So saying out loud over your kids, I'm proud of you.
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You're a hard worker. You did great at that.
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I love who you're becoming. You have what it takes.
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Those are some of the most powerful weapons in a Christian
33:12
father's arsenal. Now the Reformers recovered
33:17
family worship for this very reason.
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They wanted their voice at the dinner table opening up the
33:24
Bible, praying for their family. They saw that as a sacred duty
33:28
that the world will try to talk you out of.
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But it it's going to shape the the vision of your family.
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It's going to shape the loves of your family, the heart of your
33:37
family. It's going to shape that inner
33:38
world of your family. And it's important, obviously,
33:41
to let the word of God be the center of that.
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So, and you see this over and over in the Old Testament where
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fathers would pronounce a blessing.
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They'd put their hands on their kids.
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Do this, I, I do this at bedtime.
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Do this at bedtime. Put your hand, hands on your
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kids and pray a prayer or blessing over them that they
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would love God with all their heart, mind, soul and strength.
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That God would put his word into their mind.
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He'd put their, you know, love for him into his heart that they
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would follow his spirit that they'd, that their will would
34:06
want to obey God in all things. Pronounce blessings over your
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kids and then to apply this to the whole home.
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One of the best things that we can do with our mouth is to
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learn to confess our sins quickly.
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When you blow it and you're going to blow it, confess
34:27
quickly. When you lose your temper, when
34:30
you snap, when you say something cutting, apologize, not sorry.
34:35
But you were being an idiot, right?
34:37
Or I wouldn't have done that if you didn't do this.
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No, just own it. I was wrong.
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I spoke words of death. I was cutting.
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I was sharp. I was critical.
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I was angry. That's a sin.
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I sinned against you. Will you forgive me now?
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A house where a father confesses is a house where confession just
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becomes normal. Not justification, not blame
35:05
shifting, not pointing the fingers.
35:08
A house where confession becomes normal is a house where the
35:11
gospel flourishes. The strongest Christian homes in
35:16
history were not run by fathers who never sinned, right?
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There's only one man who's never sinned.
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They were run by fathers who confessed quickly.
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Now listen, as I read through that list, I'm convicted.
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OK, So I know what some of you are doing right now, like,
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you're driving to work, you're cutting the grass, you're you're
35:41
lifting weights in the gym. And somewhere in the last 20
35:45
minutes or so, you've probably been convicted.
35:48
And, you know, you've been blowing it with your words for
35:52
years. You've been creating kind of,
35:56
you know, a hellscape in your home with your negativity.
36:00
And you want to learn how to speak life right.
36:03
Your words have left a trail of wreckage in your marriage and
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your relationship with your kids, in your workplace.
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Maybe you're just tired of hearing yourself talk right.
36:14
You can't even listen to yourself anymore.
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I want you to hear this. The Gospel of Jesus Christ is
36:20
for you. Jesus did not come just to give
36:25
you better communication tips. He came to give you a new heart.
36:30
He came to atone for every wicked word you've ever spoken,
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every harsh word to your wife, every lie you've told to your
36:39
boss or your clients, every joke you never should have told,
36:43
every time you shamed your kid, every slur, every piece of
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gossip, every word you said in anger that you wish you could
36:51
take back. Every single one of those sinful
36:55
words. Jesus Christ took the punishment
36:58
for it on the cross. And in a brilliant exchange, if
37:07
you will trust him, put your faith in Him.
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He takes your sin, pays for it on the cross, and He gives you
37:15
His record, His righteousness, His perfect life, giving
37:21
righteous speech that gets credited to your account.
37:27
And He doesn't just stop there, right, right.
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He gives us a new heart. And out of that new heart, He
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teaches us how to speak words of life that flow out of this new
37:38
heart, not by trying harder, but by trusting him.
37:43
So if you're a Christian man listening right now, I want you
37:46
to do three things this week. 1 Repent honestly.
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Call your sin what it is, right? Not just I'm blunt or I'm angry
37:57
or I had a bad day. Say I have used my words to
38:01
bring death instead of life. Confess that to God.
38:05
Confess that to your wife. Confess it to your kid if you
38:08
have wounded him. Like we're not called to try to
38:11
manage our sin or soften our sin.
38:13
We're called to kill our sin, and we kill our sin through
38:16
faith and repentance #2 Ask Jesus to change your heart, not
38:21
just your habits. You might have to pray this word
38:26
for word. Say, Lord, out of the abundance
38:29
of my heart, my mouth speaks and I've spoken wicked words and I
38:35
need you to change my heart. Give me your love for truth, for
38:40
goodness, for beauty. Give me your patience, give me
38:44
yourself control. Fill me with your spirit so that
38:48
my words line up with your words.
38:50
Now you might have prayed that 1000 times you might be a
38:52
Christian, you might have the spirit of the God of the living
38:55
God in you. But when Christ comes in you
38:56
man, that renovation, that renovation of that new heart,
38:59
that that thing takes a while, right?
39:02
And so how does God renovate our heart continually?
39:05
Faith and repentance #3 get into the God's word every single day.
39:13
Listen, a man's speech follows his intake.
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So if you're binging locker room podcast, conspiracy YouTube, and
39:24
political rage content all day and you never open your Bible,
39:28
don't be surprised when your mouth sounds more like the
39:31
locker room than it does the Lord.
39:36
Christians call the Scripture a a means of grace for a reason.
39:41
The Word of God purifies us. The Word of God cleanses us.
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So we have to open it up. We have to read it, we have to
39:49
drink deeply of it, and the the deeper we drink of it, the more
39:54
it's going to flow out of us. As we get to the end of this
39:59
podcast, I want you to kind of imagine with me for a second.
40:03
Imagine a generation of Christian men whose words are
40:09
trusted at work, respected in the courtroom, honored in the
40:15
boardroom, feared by wicked men. And loved by their wives and
40:21
children. Imagine homes where children
40:24
primarily hear truth and grace. Imagine marriages where
40:30
confession and forgiveness are normal.
40:33
Imagine churches where gossip dies quickly and encouragement
40:39
spreads like wildfire. Imagine a country where
40:43
Christian men decide to use their mouths for the Kingdom of
40:48
God. Imagine a city man with a bunch
40:51
of Christian men who are devoted to speaking out of a new heart.
40:57
Now that future would be bright. That future would be glorious.
41:01
And that future can start right now, with you.
41:07
With what you say at dinner tonight, With what you tell your
41:11
wife when you walk in the door. With what you write in that
41:15
e-mail that you haven't sent yet.
41:18
Death and life are in the power of the tongue.
41:22
Words create worlds. Men.
41:25
Use yours. Well, Well, this is the Sacred
41:28
Men podcast. If this episode hits you at all,
41:31
do me a favor. Share it with a buddy who needs
41:34
it. Leave a review so other men can
41:36
find it. If you're in the Quad Cities
41:38
area, come and join us May 15th and 16th at the Rock Church.
41:42
It's my cousin's church for a men's event with Pastor Michael
41:46
Clary on rugged Christianity. He's a friend of mine.
41:49
It's going to be a great conference.
41:51
We'll try to put the link in the show notes.
41:53
And until next time, be strong, be faithful, and be sacred Men.
41:58
Now go act like men.