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THE ORPHAN OPTION: Going No Contact With a Toxic Family Tree · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:03
  They told you that family is everything.
• 0:06
  They told you them that no matter what happens, you have to
• 0:10
  show up for Thanksgiving. You have to be there for
• 0:12
  Christmas. You have to show up on
• 0:14
  birthdays, text your mom, text your brother, your sister.
• 0:16
  You have to be there for special events and celebrations, right?
• 0:20
  But what they didn't tell you is that family shouldn't feel like
• 0:23
  a prison sentence. Family being part of a family
• 0:27
  shouldn't feel like you just are have to do something because
• 0:30
  that's the you know, that's those are the rules.
• 0:32
  Today we're talking about the orphan option.
• 0:35
  And I know y'all like orphan option.
• 0:36
  What the hell? The orphan option going no
• 0:39
  contact with the whole family tree with the whole toxic
• 0:43
  narcissistic family. Y'all like if you're new here,
• 0:46
  I'm Lee Hammock self. We're a narcissist and I'm going
• 0:48
  to tell you why as a narcissist, we fight so hard to keep you in
• 0:52
  that family circle, even when we act like we don't like you, even
• 0:56
  when we act like we don't want you or don't want you anywhere
• 0:59
  around around us or anything like that.
• 1:02
  That's what we're talking about today, y'all, What's going on
• 1:05
  Joey? What up, what up, what up
• 1:07
  Welcome, welcome. If you're joining on YouTube,
• 1:08
  make sure I hit that thumbs up button like and subscribe to the
• 1:11
  channel and let's keep it moving, y'all.
• 1:14
  We're talking about going no contact with an entire toxic
• 1:18
  narcissistic family dynamic. What's going on, Mama?
• 1:22
  But yeah, we'll hop right into it.
• 1:23
  Y'all. In narcissistic families, you
• 1:28
  have what they refer to as an assigned role, right?
• 1:32
  Like the roles could vary. The the scapegoat golden child,
• 1:36
  y'all know right here. So we can talk about the the
• 1:38
  scapegoat first. In a toxic family, everyone has
• 1:43
  a job, everyone has a purpose to serve, right?
• 1:46
  Because you know, toxic narcissistic family dynamics
• 1:49
  typically kind of operate like cults, like CULTS, like they,
• 1:54
  they operate like cults, like everybody has a role, everybody
• 1:57
  has a position, but there's somebody at the top, there's a
• 1:59
  hierarchy in the family, right? So everyone has a job, position,
• 2:03
  role, purpose in this dynamic. Like you, you might not like
• 2:10
  this, but you might absolutely be the problem child or the
• 2:14
  scapegoat or the caregiver, something like that, right?
• 2:18
  You, that's the role that you might play in this situation,
• 2:21
  right here in in this scenario, that's the role that you might
• 2:24
  play right here. So when you go no contact, if
• 2:29
  you're the scapegoat, if you're there, right there you go no
• 2:32
  contact. You aren't just leaving a
• 2:34
  person. You were pretty much like
• 2:36
  quitting a job. You're like you, you, you left
• 2:38
  without turning your two weeks notice in your role.
• 2:41
  We haven't had time to replace your role yet, but you're
• 2:45
  leaving nonetheless. So when you quit a job,
• 2:48
  sometimes they beg you to stay. So when you quit a job, when you
• 2:51
  leave this family, like the rest of the family has to figure out
• 2:56
  who's going to serve your purpose, who's going to who's
• 2:58
  going to fall into your position, who's going to take
• 3:00
  your place. So if they are always blaming
• 3:04
  you for everything, if you're the scapegoat, right, and
• 3:06
  they're blaming you for everything, like everything is
• 3:08
  your fault, they're putting everything on to you, guess what
• 3:12
  happens when you get out of it, when you get free, somebody else
• 3:17
  has to take that role. Who else is going to be in a
• 3:19
  position now, right? Think about it like that.
• 3:23
  If you leave, somebody has to take your spot.
• 3:25
  If you are the one that was getting the most abuse, if you
• 3:28
  are the one that was getting treated the worst, somebody has
• 3:31
  to take your spot, right? Somebody has to take your space.
• 3:37
  Somebody has to do that. I know people don't like
• 3:39
  necessarily hearing that, but somebody has to be the one to
• 3:42
  fill in your role because you're, it's kind of like your
• 3:45
  spot is open now. So somebody has to get it.
• 3:49
  Somebody has to get it right there.
• 3:51
  What's going on? So who's in there?
• 3:53
  Right there? Yeah.
• 3:54
  MO MO Duggan says the skate go roll needs to be filled to
• 3:57
  regulate everyone else. That is absolutely right.
• 4:00
  Hell yeah. Hell yeah.
• 4:02
  That was a good one. That was perfect right there.
• 4:04
  You really should. That should be the definition
• 4:06
  right there. In the in the in the in the
• 4:07
  narcissist handbook. That should be the definition
• 4:09
  right there. Seriously, That's powerful.
• 4:12
  Good one. But yeah, somebody has to fill
• 4:14
  that role. Just like if you were the golden
• 4:16
  child and you got all the praise, if you were to wake up,
• 4:20
  right, you get all the praise and stuff like that.
• 4:24
  You would have wanted to wake up first and you separate yourself
• 4:27
  from it. Guess what?
• 4:28
  Your role has to be filled too. It's not always the negative
• 4:31
  roles. I mean, scapegoat, Golden shout,
• 4:33
  they all ends up, they all end up being negative roles, right?
• 4:36
  They're all always have a negative connotation attached to
• 4:39
  them. But you see it right there how
• 4:41
  that works. You have to, somebody has to
• 4:43
  fill your spot too. Somebody else has to fill your
• 4:46
  role too. What's going on?
• 4:48
  Y'all there was going even even even that space right there.
• 4:52
  Yeah, if you were the the spot, right.
• 4:53
  Somebody clap them trees. I don't know about that within
• 4:55
  the family. But yeah, if you maybe if you're
• 4:58
  the husband or the wife, you leave.
• 4:59
  Yeah, perhaps. But there you go.
• 5:01
  Right there. That's the space you go into.
• 5:04
  You see what I'm saying? That's the way you got to fall
• 5:06
  into it right there. So you got to kind of even that
• 5:08
  situation right there. But there's also a thing that
• 5:11
  happens in narcissistic family dynamics, right?
• 5:13
  It's called group gas lighting. I know a lot of y'all have
• 5:19
  experienced gaslighting with a singular person.
• 5:22
  What's going on with a singular person?
• 5:25
  What's up? But group gaslighting when
• 5:28
  everybody is in on it? Damn, that dude messed your mind
• 5:32
  up. Damn, that would tear you to
• 5:34
  pieces, right? That will tear you to pieces.
• 5:38
  Tear you up when you were the only like.
• 5:41
  It will just eat you up. Yo goodness Grace, there you go.
• 5:44
  Whipping girl, whipping boy, whipping girl.
• 5:45
  Yes, group gaslighting is vicious.
• 5:50
  It is vicious, not nutritious. It is vicious because if the
• 5:55
  whole family is toxic they will agree on a lie to make you the
• 6:00
  villain. It's easier for them to say you
• 6:03
  are crazy like you single person you are crazy rather than just
• 6:09
  say the whole family messed up. Right?
• 6:11
  My family is perfect, right? My family is perfect.
• 6:17
  You know you the problem right here.
• 6:21
  You know you are the problem and that right there was suck man
• 6:27
  has I'm gonna type it in. You know, has anyone in the chat
• 6:31
  being group gaslit? Just drop it in there.
• 6:32
  If you've been group gaslit, y'all can drop it in the chat.
• 6:36
  But yeah, that's it. It ends up happening right
• 6:37
  there. There's so many people like
• 6:39
  group gaslighting is a real thing.
• 6:43
  Like, well, they will all absolutely just come at you and
• 6:48
  just try to make you the villain here.
• 6:51
  You know what I mean? Yeah, it just like it's trying
• 6:54
  to make you the villain, and that's what ends up happening.
• 6:57
  So you drop it in the chat. If anybody been in Group gaslit,
• 7:00
  just type the. I think you type in gas if you
• 7:02
  type in gas. Yeah, you try to type in gas.
• 7:06
  Just drop the little emoji right here.
• 7:07
  The gas emoji like that. They're all crazy as AAF yes.
• 7:15
  So group gas lighting is a thing though, y'all.
• 7:17
  But once you once, once you do escape, right, once you do or
• 7:22
  you thinking about leaving, the flying monkeys will come into
• 7:25
  play, y'all, just like the the Wizard of Oz, the flying monkeys
• 7:28
  are going to come into play. Like the guilt trips will
• 7:31
  happen. Your brother or sister, cousin,
• 7:35
  parent, whatever they might call you and say hey, look, hey,
• 7:40
  look, hey, look. Etta, Etta.
• 7:43
  You decided to leave the family, right?
• 7:45
  Think you're hot shit, huh? Guess what?
• 7:48
  Mom is crying. Mom misses you.
• 7:52
  You're not talking to her. Just call her, talk to her, have
• 7:55
  a conversation with her like she gave birth to you.
• 7:57
  Damn it. You going to do this right, huh?
• 8:02
  Take your hot check. They're not calling you and
• 8:06
  doing it out of love, right? They're doing it because the mom
• 8:09
  or whoever it is, the narcissist, the main narcissist
• 8:11
  is making their lives miserable. Since you left, since you have
• 8:14
  gone to remove yourself from the family dynamic, you with no
• 8:17
  contact, the parent, the friends, whoever it is that the
• 8:20
  the main narcissist, they're making everybody else life a
• 8:23
  living hell. They want you to come back and
• 8:25
  take your position. They want you to come back and
• 8:27
  take your seat at the abuse table.
• 8:29
  Like you got up and left. You didn't finish your abusive
• 8:31
  meal. You got up and left and didn't
• 8:33
  finish your plate. Come back and get it right.
• 8:36
  They want you to come back so the target moves off of them,
• 8:40
  right? The target moves off of them.
• 8:43
  And that's what happens. Guys like they multiple times
• 8:46
  flying monkeys, but not by servers.
• 8:47
  Absolutely. Yeah.
• 8:48
  They started this beer campaign, dude.
• 8:50
  I think that might become apparent in a second, but that's
• 8:52
  a part of it, man. They will put it on to you to
• 8:54
  make it seem like you're the aggressor.
• 8:55
  They seem like make it seem like they themselves have not done
• 8:58
  anything to you. You're just making stuff up,
• 9:01
  right? Again, I don't know why.
• 9:04
  I don't know why you decided to cut mom off.
• 9:07
  I don't know why you decided to do this and do that, but you
• 9:10
  need to come back, right? And if you have like if there's
• 9:13
  money on the table like you, if there's an inheritance at risk,
• 9:18
  and I know some people are specifically, I've talked to
• 9:20
  some people, they're specifically staying in
• 9:22
  relationships like that because of inheritance, right?
• 9:25
  They're just staying around the family because they don't want
• 9:27
  to get cut off the wheel or miss out on a certain type of
• 9:30
  inheritance or some type of getting, you know, you don't
• 9:32
  want to get left with nothing. You're right, I understand that.
• 9:35
  But sometimes, you know, sometimes people, I also have
• 9:37
  met people who've left that and chosen peace over that money.
• 9:41
  It's just like, you ain't about to abuse me.
• 9:43
  Hell no. I don't care how much money you
• 9:45
  got, ain't about to abuse me. I ain't got to stay around and
• 9:48
  be abused to get a couple dollars.
• 9:50
  Hell no. Also, they'll try to drag,
• 9:52
  they'll start drama to drag you back in.
• 9:53
  Yep, Mom and dad are fighting again.
• 9:57
  You need to take them in. You see what I'm saying?
• 9:59
  Yep, I left the I left the family, inheritance and all.
• 10:02
  No regrets. There you go.
• 10:04
  I don't want the will see how ironic.
• 10:07
  I just come across this and had to go no contact with my dad.
• 10:09
  Ah, that's tough. That's tough.
• 10:11
  Happy healing for real. But before I know a lot of
• 10:16
  people before you go to a contact, there's this kind of
• 10:20
  inherit fear. Well, appreciate that.
• 10:22
  Appreciate that. Raise your frequency.
• 10:24
  There's inherent fear of going no contact, right?
• 10:27
  Because you think you're going to be left alone.
• 10:29
  And that's where the, you know, the beginning, the beginning I
• 10:31
  was talking about the orphan option, right?
• 10:33
  You know, orphans, they don't have anybody.
• 10:34
  They're in foster home, in foster care, right?
• 10:36
  The orphan option is some people don't want to use that option as
• 10:41
  adults because you're by yourself.
• 10:42
  You don't feel like you have a community or anything like that.
• 10:45
  So sometimes the scariest part of leaving, like the scariest
• 10:48
  part of leaving a family, even a even a narcissistic family, is
• 10:51
  the silence, is the loneliness, you know?
• 10:54
  But you got to think about it. That silence is where your
• 10:57
  healing lives. There's peace in silence.
• 11:00
  There's peace in stillness. You see what I'm saying?
• 11:03
  Like you have to realize that being alone sometimes is a lot
• 11:06
  better than being by being abused by people just because
• 11:09
  they share blood or a last name or something like that, right?
• 11:13
  Yeah. Because they share blood or
• 11:15
  something along those lines. That's what goes on right there.
• 11:18
  I appreciate you. But that's what goes on.
• 11:20
  You see what I'm saying? That's what happens.
• 11:22
  Like, there's peace in the stillness and in the silence.
• 11:25
  I told them to keep the inheritance.
• 11:27
  I choose me. What are you?
• 11:30
  I wish that was my case. I would have been left, you
• 11:33
  know? But silence is serenity.
• 11:35
  Yeah. There's so much, yo.
• 11:36
  There's so much in the silence and so many.
• 11:38
  Some people, understandably so, don't necessarily like being
• 11:41
  alone. And I get that right.
• 11:43
  I And I get that. Yeah.
• 11:45
  No. Conduct is not working.
• 11:46
  Family. Family court.
• 11:47
  Yeah. If you are in family court
• 11:49
  battling for custody, I wouldn't suggest going no contact because
• 11:53
  the other parent will, especially if you have primary
• 11:55
  custody, they will accuse you of, they'll accuse you of either
• 11:59
  parental alienation or they'll accuse you of parental
• 12:02
  alienation or abandonment. If you're not in involved at
• 12:07
  all, you would no contact with them even though they have
• 12:09
  primary custody. They'll just accuse you of
• 12:11
  abandoning them. Abandonment, right?
• 12:13
  That happens too. So you have to be very weary of
• 12:16
  that going on. So you get to pick your tribe.
• 12:19
  You see what I'm saying? I know a lot of people when they
• 12:20
  leave, they don't have anybody to talk to.
• 12:22
  I have a support group. You know, there's some members
• 12:24
  of my support group in here right now.
• 12:25
  Now we can check out my support group at mentalillness.net or
• 12:29
  you can find it right here. It's on the screen right there.
• 12:31
  Mental illness.net. My support group is there.
• 12:33
  My course, my coaching, my courses, everything is at
• 12:35
  mentalillness.net. You can check out y'all So, but
• 12:39
  when you get when you do get a chance to leave a toxic
• 12:41
  relationship dynamic, right, you have the power power to create a
• 12:45
  new narrative with yourself. You know what I mean?
• 12:48
  That's what ends up going on right there.
• 12:50
  Once you leave, you get to decide who you are.
• 12:54
  A lot of times when you're in toxic relationship family
• 12:58
  dynamics, right, you, the personality you cultivate is one
• 13:02
  out of survival. You're just trying to survive
• 13:05
  like you're trying to survive the toxicity, you're trying to
• 13:07
  survive the abuse, which is understandable.
• 13:09
  I get it, you know, So when you get out of there, it's can be
• 13:12
  scary to have to create a new personality, to have to create,
• 13:16
  find new likes and dislikes or openly get to express how you
• 13:19
  feel about certain things. It can be scary, but it's so
• 13:21
  worth it. Like, you get to decide.
• 13:24
  You get to pick. You get to choose.
• 13:26
  There's no, no like, yeah, no one is there to remind you of
• 13:30
  who they want you to be. It's all you.
• 13:34
  You get to pick. You get to choose.
• 13:37
  You get to decide. It's all in that situation right
• 13:41
  there. What's going on, girl?
• 13:41
  How you doing? You get to decide.
• 13:45
  This is a part of it right here. This is truly a part of it.
• 13:49
  You know what I mean? When you get out of there,
• 13:52
  instead of surviving, you get the opportunity to thrive.
• 13:55
  You lose the first part of it you use, you lose the SRIV, the
• 14:00
  Sr. the SURV part. You keep the IV E.
• 14:05
  You said you put thrive in front of it, you know.
• 14:08
  Do you become the best? Who's it at?
• 14:11
  Nicole? What's going on, girl?
• 14:12
  The best you ever? Yes.
• 14:16
  It is beautiful to be free. Yeah, absolutely.
• 14:19
  My stupid husband won't go narc sister.
• 14:23
  So he tells me that way. Oh, OK.
• 14:27
  But that's it right there, man. I'm serious.
• 14:28
  That's so it's that's going on right there.
• 14:30
  What's going on, girl? Rebecca, what's going on?
• 14:33
  Thank you, my brother, for saving me.
• 14:35
  There you go. Appreciate it.
• 14:35
  Philly in the house. Philly in the house.
• 14:37
  Yeah. So in closing y'all, before we
• 14:40
  start my Q&A, when I don't think about it like this, you're not
• 14:44
  breaking. When you decide to go to no
• 14:47
  contact, you'll leave. Decide to leave the toxic family
• 14:49
  dynamic, you're not breaking. You're like you're not breaking
• 14:52
  the family. You survived it.
• 14:55
  If the tree is rotten, you don't stay and eat the fruit.
• 14:59
  You leave the forest. You get your, you, you, if
• 15:03
  you're a piece of the fruit from that tree, are you an apple?
• 15:06
  You roll your ass downhill away as far as you can and plant new
• 15:10
  roots, build your own tree because you don't want to be
• 15:13
  part of that. The the nasty, toxic rotten tree
• 15:15
  right there, right? Because that can mess with you.
• 15:19
  That really can. That would do harm and do damage
• 15:22
  to you. And that's what goes on right
• 15:23
  there with so many people like you feel like I don't want to
• 15:27
  break the family. You're not breaking the family.
• 15:29
  You aren't, you are not breaking the family.
• 15:32
  No, they broke. They're trying to break you.
• 15:34
  They want you to be a part of it.
• 15:35
  They want you to always fall in line and whatnot.
• 15:41
  But now I got time for the short Q&A.
• 15:43
  Y'all, what is that? What do you think of a therapist
• 15:45
  that plays both sides? I found out he admires my ex.
• 15:47
  I wouldn't see. I wouldn't.
• 15:48
  I wouldn't see that therapist anymore.
• 15:51
  I mean, therapist is supposed to be neutral, right?
• 15:55
  They're the therapist is supposed to be a neutral third
• 15:57
  party. So the kind of supposed to play
• 15:59
  both sides, right? There's not supposed to be right
• 16:02
  in the middle, but they're not supposed to like pick a side,
• 16:06
  so, so to speak. They're just supposed to operate
• 16:07
  on the truth. And if somebody is wrong, then
• 16:11
  they try to bring people to to understanding as opposed to
• 16:14
  turning everybody turning and battling one person, right?
• 16:17
  That's why that's just my thoughts right there.
• 16:21
  When you decide to go no contact, you've reached a
• 16:24
  milestone that in that relationship and are free.
• 16:27
  I broke it and my family broke it with him as well.
• 16:29
  Good job. And sometimes, like I said,
• 16:31
  that's that's one of the hardest part about going no contact
• 16:33
  sometimes is that some of your family, some of your own family
• 16:37
  won't cut the person off. Some of your own family won't
• 16:41
  will just keep the person around even though they've been they've
• 16:44
  been nasty and abusive to you. Some of your own family will
• 16:49
  keep them around and do all this other mess.
• 16:51
  Which sucks right? It absolutely sucks when you're
• 16:54
  trying to heal and move forward. Your own family is doing this
• 16:58
  stuff, your family is keeping your abuser around and what not
• 17:02
  and that's what ends up happening so much.
• 17:05
  In these situations it's better to create new traditions that
• 17:09
  hold on the old ones with your toxic family.
• 17:11
  Yep, same part about building sometimes.
• 17:13
  You got to build your own tree right?
• 17:16
  Build your own family tree. Friends can be narcissistic.
• 17:21
  Oh yeah, your friends can absolutely be narcissistic.
• 17:23
  Yeah, that that is, that is absolutely the truth right
• 17:25
  there. Your friends can absolutely,
• 17:27
  positively, 100% be narcissistic as hell.
• 17:30
  And sometimes there's nothing you can do with it, right?
• 17:32
  Because they're, they're just horrible people.
• 17:33
  Like you'll be dealing with this, this horrible, toxic
• 17:36
  person that is not doing anything, not serving anybody
• 17:39
  but themselves. They're out to serve themselves
• 17:41
  and they consistently will do that.
• 17:44
  I've had the same problem in family court.
• 17:46
  It seemed like the court decided when narcissist and I submit
• 17:49
  proof. Yeah, sometimes.
• 17:50
  Yeah, family courts sometimes would not be on your side.
• 17:53
  It's family courts Meet some of the most stressful situations
• 17:55
  that you're going to have to battle because you could.
• 17:57
  You can still be do it. You can do everything right.
• 18:00
  And the judge or whoever in there might still not listen to
• 18:03
  you. Like sometimes, like, yeah,
• 18:05
  there's, there are situations where people are out here
• 18:09
  literally getting abused, like to T like get literally get into
• 18:13
  hell, getting abused beyond measure and have kids with the
• 18:18
  person. And then the judge will be like,
• 18:21
  like, well, they didn't abuse the kids.
• 18:23
  So the kids can still see them even though, even though they
• 18:25
  might have strangled you and held a gun to your head in front
• 18:27
  of the children, they didn't technically abuse the kids.
• 18:30
  So we got to, but you got to just go with this right here.
• 18:33
  So sometimes they don't care, y'all?
• 18:36
  No loyalty. Yep.
• 18:37
  How do you move forward and get used to having your own life?
• 18:40
  There's baby steps right there. Step by step, right?
• 18:43
  Step by step. Making a plan.
• 18:45
  From day one, you have to have a plan of action.
• 18:48
  I know some people escape. Then what?
• 18:50
  It's kind of like this, looking like this, Beth, this, this,
• 18:52
  this. This is what popped into my head
• 18:54
  when you said that. Imagine escaping from prison,
• 18:57
  right? You've been locked up like
• 18:59
  you've been locked up. You've been locked up for a
• 19:01
  crime you didn't commit. Right?
• 19:04
  A crime you didn't commit. I'm trusting you, Beth.
• 19:05
  You didn't commit. You didn't commit this crime,
• 19:08
  right? But you want to get out of jail,
• 19:11
  So you want to break out, but you haven't.
• 19:13
  But as soon as you break out, you don't have a plan.
• 19:15
  You'll be right back in there. They'll just catch you.
• 19:17
  That's why you see people who break out of jail.
• 19:19
  They don't just break out of jail and start walking down the
• 19:20
  street. They're taking off through the
• 19:22
  woods. They got a car waiting in from
• 19:24
  them. Now they got a car or they
• 19:26
  already got a bus ticket or something waiting on them.
• 19:28
  Like they rarely ever just break out of jail and just just go
• 19:32
  walk down the street. Those people get caught very
• 19:34
  quick. It's the people that, you know
• 19:36
  what I mean? They have the plans that make it
• 19:39
  out to stay out. So that's why it's important to
• 19:41
  have a plan. I'm going to do this where I'm
• 19:44
  going to live, where I'm going to go, where I'm going to work.
• 19:47
  You know, who, who can I talk to, who's going to remain in my
• 19:50
  life? Those are things right there
• 19:52
  that are important as you move forward right there, you know,
• 19:55
  make a plan. I'm not saying sometimes you
• 19:58
  sometimes you can make a plan. They have to act quickly and
• 20:00
  don't have a plan, you know, but it's still day by day.
• 20:03
  Once you get a chance, make a plan.
• 20:06
  You can't. Angela did it was hard.
• 20:07
  There you go. This make me sad.
• 20:10
  Yeah, sadness. You can't escape without money.
• 20:12
  That's the problem. Yeah.
• 20:13
  Sometimes you just depends, right?
• 20:14
  Sometimes you go to these shelters and stuff like that and
• 20:16
  some people have to start over. Some people have to start over
• 20:18
  from from scratch and scratch from ground.
• 20:21
  Some people literally have to start over from Ground Zero,
• 20:24
  which is extremely tough for a lot of people, right?
• 20:27
  Ground Zero is extremely tough. I'm 54 and with no contact with
• 20:32
  narcissistic family is an incredible amount of growth I
• 20:35
  have experienced and since I moved when I started no kind of
• 20:39
  in June I was a scapegoat. OK good.
• 20:41
  Good for you getting out of there.
• 20:44
  I have been trying for two years to get her gone.
• 20:46
  Is it possible she does not have a new supply maybe or I mean
• 20:50
  just because if they even if they have a new supply, it
• 20:52
  doesn't guarantee that they will leave you alone.
• 20:54
  I'll say it like that. Just because they have a new
• 20:55
  supply doesn't necessarily guarantee that they will leave
• 20:59
  you be. Sometimes they'll still keep you
• 21:00
  around like one person. Sometimes they just like having
• 21:03
  more than one person around, right?
• 21:06
  It would not People know of abuse and help abuse Yeah,
• 21:09
  absolutely. That does happen sometimes and
• 21:11
  that's so tough to deal with. That's so tough to deal with
• 21:15
  right there. So so extremely tough, and I
• 21:18
  hate that people got to go through that, y'all.
• 21:19
  I really really do. I hate that so many people have
• 21:21
  to battle with these toxic, narcissistic people.
• 21:24
  Your videos are great. Appreciate it.
• 21:26
  So I know what kind of shirt you wearing late looks dope.
• 21:28
  Oh, this is my this is this is my I'm about to start.
• 21:31
  This is my brand right here. Y'all, this is myself love
• 21:33
  brand. It's you know, my, my, my logo
• 21:36
  says I love me. This is self love.
• 21:38
  Y'all can look into the shirt. It says aware, fearless.
• 21:43
  It's I'm, I'm aware, I'm fearless.
• 21:45
  I'm good, I'm unique, courageous, capable.
• 21:49
  It's got all kind of good euphemisms and you know, things
• 21:51
  like that. The positive phrases, I'm about
• 21:53
  to put them back on. Y'all, I have a bunch of men at
• 21:55
  the house. I got to start selling again.
• 22:01
  What's going on girl I'm in the office today Oh yeah, you're
• 22:03
  back back in the office. I'm actually you know I'm in my
• 22:06
  office now tight yeah this is myself lovely.
• 22:10
  I I got AI got a fitness brand I'm about to come out with this
• 22:12
  as well called you know it's a a physical fitness mental health
• 22:16
  combination brand. This is myself love brand, which
• 22:19
  I love. You know what I mean?
• 22:20
  My physical, my other stuff about to come out too.
• 22:25
  My siblings are on the same page with narc now.
• 22:28
  They used to see things, but all of a sudden they slowly stopped
• 22:31
  caring and now aiding dysfunction.
• 22:32
  Yeah, sometimes they see it as more peaceful to choose the
• 22:35
  option of just staying. Everything's staying the same.
• 22:38
  Sometimes change is more difficult than those right
• 22:41
  there. You see what I'm saying?
• 22:42
  Change is scarier than just staying things staying the same.
• 22:47
  So. So that's why some people don't
• 22:49
  leave. They just like, well, I at least
• 22:51
  I know what I'm going to get from here, right?
• 22:53
  At least I know I'm getting from here and whatnot and so on.
• 23:00
  Is that true to someone who's an avoided is indeed a narcissist?
• 23:03
  No, not necessarily. I did I I did a video, a video
• 23:05
  very recently on avoidance and narcissist like very recently on
• 23:09
  my YouTube channel, like very recently.
• 23:13
  Yeah, I do got to hop off here. I got a one-on-one at a Zoom.
• 23:16
  I got to do right at 4:00 and it's 359 right now and I think
• 23:20
  they just hopped on. Yep, I got to do I got to e-mail
• 23:23
  for that. So I got to hop off here y'all,
• 23:28
  like I said, all my one on ones. Everything is available at
• 23:30
  mentalillness.net. Check it out right here.
• 23:33
  Mental illness.net. I'll put on the screen right
• 23:36
  now, but I do have to have all like they just hopped in the
• 23:39
  zoom room and I don't want to be late.
• 23:41
  So thank y'all for tuning in. If you haven't already, make
• 23:44
  sure you subscribe to YouTube channel if you haven't already
• 23:46
  hit that subscribe button like and comment and stuff like that.
• 23:49
  Y'all appreciate y'all being here like seriously y'all thank
• 23:53
  you so much. I'm super grateful for every
• 23:55
  single one of y'all super empowered I see.
• 23:58
  Check out my check out my support group, all the other
• 24:00
  good stuff. Y'all be safe, take care of
• 24:02
  yourselves and we will chat later.
• 24:03
  Y'all peace, even your blood help abuses.