Latest / Intentional Guy / She Hit Me at 75 MPH. I Don’t Even Know Her Name | David Booth
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- David: a lady that was texting and driving, rear-ended me. at impact speed she was doing seventy five miles an hour. don't kid yourself. I I was bitter a lot. There were a lot of moments where I cursed her, I cursed God, I cursed everybody in the world, never went to court. And I don't even know the lady's name. Michael Chestnut: Hey everyone, welcome back to The Intentional Guy. I'm Michael Chestnut. I have a question for you. Is there someone you still haven't forgiven? Not for something small, for something that took real pieces of your life. And they probably don't even think about it anymore. My guest spent years as a police motorcycle officer working other people's worst days on the road. Then a distracted driver handed him his own. Three weeks in a coma. Nobody expected him to make it. And when he woke up, the hardest part wasn't learning to live again. It was deciding what to do with the person who put him there. David Booth, welcome to the show. Thank you for being here today. David: Absolutely glad to be here. Michael Chestnut: So David, motorcycle cop, I went and looked at your YouTube channel. I love your YouTube channel. David: Thanks. Michael Chestnut: a lot of my friends will really like it because they're motorcycles enthusiasts and do all that. But today, you know, I I I would love for you to just share with us about being that motorcycle officer. That had to be an interesting job. It had to be a fun job. and then, the accident and then w where life took you from there. David: yeah, no problem. So I was a I was a police officer for eighteen years. part of that a good part of that time I was a police motorcycle officer and a traffic enforcement officer and an accident investigator. and I I I loved being a police motorcycle officer. It was the best job I ever had. It was I mean, I I'm sure you've seen how we ride and what Michael Chestnut: Right. David: we do on the motorcycle, which is fun in and of itself. And then The big upside to being the police motorcycle officer is if you know, if people see a police officer in a car, they go, crap, the police. If people see a police officer on a motorcycle, they go, cool, a police motorcycle officer, it's a completely different world. We're the we're the cool guys of the police department, which made it even more fun. so to bridge from that into the situation that happened in 2014, I used to I w I would work on the side. doing funeral escorts here in Georgia, they Michael Chestnut: Mm-hmm. David: they allow that, so I'd make extra money. Had my own police motorcycle outfitted to do those funeral escorts. So on February twenty-eighth of twenty fourteen, I was coming home from doing a funeral escort. And I was on the interstate, oddly enough, about a mile and a half from my exit, to get to my house. And traffic is if anybody knows Metro Atlanta traffic. slowed down to a crawl. and a individual, a lady that was texting and driving, rear-ended me. and at impact speed she was I was doing about thirty miles an hour, I think. and at impact speed she was doing seventy five miles an hour. and she Michael Chestnut: Hmm. David: straight rear ended me. I was thrown back onto the hood of her car and she proceeded to continue. She didn't try and drive away. She just didn't stop. Traffic then apparently proceeded to start moving because she continued down the road with me on the hood of her car for another five hundred feet. Michael Chestnut: Mm. David: at which point she struck another car which catapulted me into the air, throwing me over the top of a pickup truck and I landed in the co landed in the concrete. Michael Chestnut: wow. David: I I always Tell the joke now in retrospect. I'm sure I'm pretty sure I saw the NFL ref referee put his arms up and say the kick was good. Michael Chestnut: Yeah. David: but so from that point, there was a apparently there was a off duty EMT that saw the whole wreck and immediately was at my side. strangely enough, my vision went away. So I couldn't see anything. I could only hear what was going on around me. And he ran up and said, Hey, I saw the wreck. I've already called nine one one, et cetera, et cetera. and then through that procedure, you know, ambulances and fire trucks and and all kinds of stuff started showing up. And because I went out as an officer down, I think it at my last recollection of count, seven jurisdictions and what what we call apparatus, in other words, police cars, fire engines, seven jurisdictions and twenty-one apparatus showed up on the scene. But the result of my wreck was I had a I was life flighted to the level one trauma center here in Atlanta. I turned out I had what what's called an open book, shattered pelvis, Michael Chestnut: Mm. David: which basically your pelvis shatters and open up opens up like a wishbone. I had thirteen vertebrae fractures. And I say thirteen vertebrae fractures because it wasn't thirteen vertebrae that were fractured, it was thirteen fractures across I don't know how many vertebrae. So some of the vertebrae's Michael Chestnut: Wow. David: had more than one fracture. And then when my pelvis shattered, it ripped my bladder open. so as life flighted to the trauma center. they I went through a total of that was on a Friday, so they kind of did a quick surgery to kinda temporarily patch me together. And then on Monday morning they went in and did multiple surgeries to kinda fully repair and rebuild and, you know, clamp the pelvis down and put a metal metal it's essentially a metal ring in there. so I had multiple surgeries to put me back together. out of that I got what's called off the breathing tube, I got a lung infection. And fell into sepsis, what's called sepsis. Michael Chestnut: Mm-hmm. David: and so they put me into a medically induced coma. I spent three weeks and then like they couldn't they tried multiple times to bring me out of it starting like a week or so later, and they couldn't get me out of the coma. So my body just decided that I needed to stay in coma, I guess. Michael Chestnut: Mm. David: so I was in a coma for three weeks and I was telesport at one point they gathered my family together. Said say your goodbyes. he's not gonna make it through the night. My vital signs had literally gone as low as they could go. Of course I was on life support anyway, Michael Chestnut: Right. David: but my vital signs had gone as low as they could go without me crossing over to the other side. and they said say your goodbyes. I always tell this women love this part. So the last person to say goodbye was my girlfriend at the time. She's my wife now. Michael Chestnut: Ha ha. David: but right after she said goodbye, They said about an hour later my vital signs started going back up. Michael Chestnut: Hm. David: and I eventually came out of the coma. spent roughly two more weeks in the ICU, then they transferred me to an acute rehab for 10 days, and then I spent about two months in a nursing home learning to walk again, learning to everything again. one of the resultant injuries out of that is My right hand and arm below the elbow is about seventy percent paralyzed. what they call my Michael Chestnut: Mm. David: brachioplexus nerve bundle was also crushed, which that injury is permanent. so that's the that's the story of the wreck and a brief ten thousand foot view story of the recovery or the initial recovery. course I recover every day. Michael Chestnut: Right. So what was harder? I I mean and I I guess I don't want to get out of sequence, but you know, the recovery I for something like that has to be very long, a very long recovery. And how did you handle that recovery? When did you realize what happened to you? And in those moments, how are you able to handle handle this because if I'm correct, I think you said the person who hit you was texting and driving. And then they and then they didn't even they didn't even stop for a little bit. I mean David: Correct. And at the time in Georgia. Yeah. Well, so they didn't stop, but sh she just kind of the way it was presented to me was just kind of shut she shut down and didn't do anything. the actual they investigated it as a fatality accident because they kind of thought that I was gonna be a fatality. and When I spoke to the accident investigator, ironically I I knew him at the time, but when I spoke to him after the whole thing was over, he told me that when he asked her why she didn't stop, she said, and I can almost directly quote, after I hit him, I just closed my eyes and wrote it out. Michael Chestnut: Mm-hmm. David: and she ended up I mean, her car was you you wouldn't believe if if I could pull up the pictures right now, you wouldn't believe I mean the front end of her car was crushed, literally crushed. Michael Chestnut: Right. David: So imagine not doing that by hitting an SUV, but by hitting a motorcycle. and Michael Chestnut: Mm. David: she ended up in the median of the interstate that was a grass median at the time. she ended up down in the media and where she came to rest. And I was told she was had injuries and was transported to the ER as well, but she only spent a couple days in the hospital. so when I say she didn't stop, it wasn't like she tried to actively drive away. She just shut down and let the car keep rolling. Michael Chestnut: So David: But Michael Chestnut: w when did you find when were you coherent enough to know? I mean, I guess you're I know you're coherent for a little bit. Do you remember much of the accident? David: So oddly enough, I remember every part of the accident up until I got to the ER. Basically what happened, it was kind of strange. If you've ever seen it's strange what the body and the brain does. If you've ever seen the movie The Matrix, from the second she hit me, my reality went into that slow motion action thing that they they kind of invented in the Matrix movie. And I felt like everything was in that slow motion. Like I said, my vision for some reason immediately shut down. I don't know why. and when I was I knew that I was tumbling. I didn't know where I was tumbling or why I was tumbling. And I do remember that at one point, I mean I knew why I was tumbling, but I didn't know where I was. I didn't know have any consciousness of that. So I remember at one point in my brain. While I was tumbling thinking, and I literally thought, God, I don't know what's happening exactly. But whatever it is, either make it stop or let me die. Michael Chestnut: Mm. David: and and then when I flew through the air and landed on the ground, everything as soon as I hit the ground, everything back went back to normal speed. it was the weirdest thing in the world, but I still couldn't see, so I could hear everything around me. But I couldn't see anything around me, so I audibly knew what was going on. so basically, as they started attending to me, and I heard oddly enough, I felt no pain initially, no pain. and I said to the EMT that came up to me, I reached up to my breast pocket, and at the time phones were small enough to carry in your breast pocket. So I reached up to my breast pocket where I usually carried my phone and it wasn't there. And so I said to him, Where's my phone? And he said, he said, You don't need to worry about your phone right now. And I, being kind of upset at the moment, I kind of rudely said, Get me my I'll let you fill in the word phone. And so he found my phone, he brought it over to me, he asked me the code, he entered the passcode, and I called my best friend at the time. and I said, Look, Jeff. I said, this is what's happened. and I said, I'm pretty sure it's really bad. And I'm pretty sure they're gonna take me to this hospital, this particular hospital. And I said, I said, I need you to call Debbie. That was my girlfriend at the time. I said, because I if I call her and she hears all these sirens, she's gonna freak out. I said, So I need you to call her and let her know what's happened. He said, No problem, I got it. He says, I'm I'm on it. So I hung up with him and then I called the lady that ran the funeral escort company that I worked on the side for and told her the exact same thing. And as soon as I hung up with her, my body went, Okay, you've made the two essential calls you need to make. The adrenaline wore off and the pain hit me like a ton of bricks right then and there. And I gotta say, I got a pretty high threshold for pain. I've been injured a few times over my career. And I gotta I gotta tell you, it was it was I could literally feel my pelvis swell v swelling up against my duty belt. Michael Chestnut: Mm. David: and if you've ever truly taken note of a police duty belt, they're not very flexible. and so I asked the EMT at the time, I said, Please take my belt off me. I begged him. And he he said, I'll never forget this. And he said, and I qu and I quote, he said, I can't take your belt off you, it's holding you together. Michael Chestnut: Hmm. David: And so they loaded me into the life flight. They gave me so much morphine on the side of the road that they couldn't give me any more. So by the time I got loaded into life flight, if you've ever been on massive amounts of morphine, number one, you don't feel any pain. Number two, it produces unusual emotional responses. So I was laughing and telling jokes by the time they put me in life flight. it also produces hallucinations, which happened over the weekend. That first weekend. But they put me in life flight. They flew me down to the hospital. They landed and started wheeling me down the hallway to my first surgeries. And as they were wheeling me down to the hop the hallway, I finally passed out. Michael Chestnut: Mm. David: I vaguely remember the two days over the weekend. like I told you, I I was I was having morphine hallucinations all throughout that weekend, so I remember bits and spots. of what happened over that weekend, certain people that visited me, all that kind of stuff. and once they put me into a coma, I I don't remember any reality while I was in the coma the coma. and then when they brought me out of the coma, it was not only is coma not actually sleep, I was incredibly exhausted and all I wanted to do was sleep, but I was also for the first I really can't tell you how many days or hours, but for the initial time out of the coma, I was very confused. I'm told I was incredibly lethargic. I had no idea what exactly had happened, why I was in the hospital, and I had no c no reality that time had passed. Michael Chestnut: Hm. So once you woke up, And got through the initial part of I I to be honest, I've never met someone that's been in a coma. I don't know how that that reaction is. First off, when you wake up and you're laying in a hospital bed and probably have some loved ones around you, that that has to be either a scary moment or a relief moment. David: I don't remember if it was a relief moment. I know that I was incredibly confused and desperate to put a handle on what was going on. What was going on. and for the first several at least several hours, if not a couple of days, things were still very everything that went on was still very like I don't remember a lot of things I'm told that were done in that first. several hours after waking up, I think a day or two, I I'm told that these things were done and these things happened and I don't remember them at all. so it takes you a minute to come around. that or at least it did Michael Chestnut: Do you remember when David: for me. Michael Chestnut: do you remember when they first told you or there had to be some point where they said, Okay, this is what happened and and laid it out to David: Yeah, I Michael Chestnut: you. David: so as I started getting more of a handle and getting more aw awake, I remembered what had happened and what had brought me there. and I remember the events of the wreck and the events of the weekend to a point. the struggle after the coma was then w I I immediately moved into what do we do now? And the other thing that took place was time slowed down. Like I quite literally, I was in the ICU for a total of five weeks, including the three-week coma. Well, that that other two weeks in my brain felt like months. It felt Michael Chestnut: Mm. David: like I was there forever. and they, you know, I would get hauled down the hallway for this CT scan or this MRI or this X-ray, or they they took my blood more times than I can count. They'd come in every hour on the hour. So there was a lot going on that made it seem very long and very confusing. Michael Chestnut: Mm. David: So that's kinda how that went. As I moved on towards the end of that time, then I started like probably the last few days, I was probably more like, Okay, I get what's going on with me. What decisions are we making? And I started participating in started participating in my own situation. Michael Chestnut: And and what what did that look like? David: initially I was kinda probably difficult to deal with. because I was so confused, because I was like I was completely bedridden. I I couldn't I couldn't get up, I couldn't do anything for myself, right down to I couldn't even feed myself or go to the bathroom by myself or any of that stuff. And they they did some stuff which in retrospect I completely understand why they did it, like I I was being fed intravenously, so I wasn't consuming solid food. and I was also being hydrated intravenously, and I was not allowed to consume anything, including water. and the reason for that was is they didn't know if at a moment's notice something was gonna turn bad and they were gonna have to rush me into a surgery. So they had to keep my stomach empty. if Michael Chestnut: Mm. David: y you just You mentioned your situation, so you know that basically you can't eat for like twelve hours before a surgery because Michael Chestnut: Right. David: of the anesthesia and all that stuff. So they just kept my stomach perpetually empty. And so because they didn't give me any physical hydration, only intravenously, then I proceeded to get what's called thresh, which if you've ever had thresh, your mouth is just like your tongue gets cr literally cracked and dried, your lips get cracked and dried, your throat is completely dried out and it's It's very uncomfortable. So I tried to con everybody in the world out of a sip of water. Michael Chestnut: yeah. David: so and I was very I was very feverish. I was because my body was just in turmoil. so I was incredibly hot. so various family members would literally sit by my bed and constantly dab my forehead with cold washcloths, to try and keep me comfortable. So it was I mean, it was all very and like I said, it was very everything felt rushed, but everything felt like it took forever. It felt like I was there forever. Michael Chestnut: How long were you in the hospital? Did you say five weeks? David: So I was in ICU for five weeks, then they transferred me to a ten day acute rehab where where then I started to eat and then I started to like aside from being bedridden and completely dependent on it, I was fully I was fully back to my normal mental capacity by that point. Michael Chestnut: Mm. David: and I started participating and then out of the ten day rehab because I was still because of the shattered pelvis, I was what they call zero weight bearing, which means basically I couldn't even like touch my toe to the ground. risk Michael Chestnut: yeah. David: of injuring myself. So they transferred me from there to an extended care nursing home. I was the youngest person in the nursing home. The old ladies loved me. Michael Chestnut: Yeah, I imagine. David: But so that's how that went. And then I did I did three a day, three a day, I think, therapy for I mean it tapered off at the end, but I was in the rehab for almost two months. Michael Chestnut: Hmm. You know, your story is devastating in so many ways, you know, just just I I can't imagine when the processes start happening of the reality of the consequences of this accident. Because, you know, you had a job you loved and you a love for riding motorcycles. other things in your life and by someone's careless actions that was kind of taken away from you. And I don't know where you are at in that journey. And everyone responds differently, right? So, you know, I know some people I I call them saints because it it it seems like nothing bothers them or they never get angry or anything like that. But How about for you in the process of that when those realizations come? Because you know, me and you talked beforehand about forgiveness. there had to be some kind of I mean, what did you do with the loss? Did it was it angry anger or frustration? David: So so first off, the actual loss of my career, like that was an extended thing. That happened quite literally two two years later. because I spent almost two years on what they call light duty at the police department, trying to make it back. going to physical therapy for almost two years, going to rehab because of the situation with my hand and arm. And then after that two years, that's when my career ended. There was a situation. They they basically the police department, after two years, decided to come up with an excuse to fire me. Michael Chestnut: Mm. David: that was a whole nother situation, a whole nother story in itself. So the loss of the career kinda set in quite a ways after. as far as the physical reality of the consequences of that wreck. for a good portion of that two years, I went through two more surgeries and constant rehab on my hand and arm. and I had a fantastic hand specialist. basically doctor after doctor, I kept going to neurologist because it was a it was a nerve injury. and they they basically told me Too bad, so sad. It's it's it is what it is. And finally, I I wouldn't give up. I found a hand specialist who said, Look, I can help you. We can do some things to gain some function. This hit, but he told me straight up, he said, you are never going to get it all back. It's never gonna Michael Chestnut: Mm-hmm. David: be normal or even close. but I went from zero function below my elbow to about 30, 35% of normal function. And we intentionally gave up some things, like I couldn't function my thumb at all. and it was my right hand and I'm right r naturally right hand dominant. But I don't know if you've ever tried to pick up a water glass without an opposable thumb. Michael Chestnut: Mm. David: so like for instance, my index finger was largely non-functional as well. and so he took the nerves from my index finger and put them in my thumb. Which gave me about forty percent function in my thumb, which made it somewhat functional again. So like we made decisions, or I made decisions, to give this up to get that. Michael Chestnut: Right. David: It was basically a bargaining thing. and s but I wouldn't for a long time I would not accept that I was not my hand and arm were not gonna be able to recover. And finally had to wrestle with that reality and now I just I learned to adapt and function largely without it. as far as the other recoveries, for some reason, and people say, what what I did was amazing, and it never occurred to me that it was. Like from the s from the moment I came out of the coma and started mentally participating in my situation, it just to be able to walk again, to be able to do all these things again, it was just To me, it was just what had to be done. I was told initially that I wouldn't walk for six months and I may never walk again. I took my first steps eight weeks to the day after the wreck. Michael Chestnut: Mm. David: and literally I went to my follow-up with the orthopedic surgeon that repaired me. I you know, from the nursing home, I went down to down to his office and and had my follow-up and looked him straight in the eyes and I said, Bef but that the initial consultation, he sent me to X-ray and I looked him straight in the eyes as he was looking at the X-rays and I said, Before I leave your office, you're gonna tell me I can start walking. I just Michael Chestnut: Ha ha. David: he said, Well, he said, actually your x-rays say you can. So tell you he says, I'll send the order over to your therapist to let you start walking. which quite literally started out a step at a time. And that's not Michael Chestnut: Mm-hmm. David: a like a catchphrase. I started out with between they'd put me they'd stand me up out of the wheelchair and I'd be between two bars that I'd hold myself up on and I'd take three steps and I'd be exhausted. Michael Chestnut: Mm-hmm. David: it's kind of amazing how quickly, you know, if you've never lost the function of something or the ability to use something you use every day, how quickly the strength and muscles deteriorate. It's truly amazing. So Michael Chestnut: And people can't imagine the the I mean, unless you've been through it, I mean I can't even imagine the fortitude you'd have to have to try and relearn how to walk, relearn how to eat, relearn how I mean, they even say some people have to relearn how to do simple things such as breathing, because if you've been on intubated forever. David: Well so I actually did have to relearn how to breathe. when they finally got the breathing tube out while I was in a coma, then they ended up giving me a trache it's a tracheostomy. I guess Michael Chestnut: Mm-hmm. David: it's different than a tracheotomy, but they ended up giving me a tracheostomy. So when that came out, because I hadn't because it's direct into your neck can't breathe for you, so they would come and they would pull the pull the the apparatus and plug the hole, manually plug the hole, and they'd tell me to breathe. And I'd take a breath or two. I knew how to breathe mentally. So I'd take a breath or two. And same thing with the like with the steps. That would wear me out. Like I could only take a couple breaths at a time. They'd put the tube back in and then they'd come back in an hour or so later and we'd do it again and I'd take four or five breaths. And they'd come back in and then I'd take And then eventually I got to the point where I could breathe on my own. and they removed everything completely and put a big old bandage over the hole in my neck. Michael Chestnut: Mm. David: and if you look real close, I've got I mean I've got shirts on now that cover it, but if you look real close, you can still see the scar in the center of my neck, right below my Adam's apple. Michael Chestnut: Wow. David: so yeah, I did have to learn to breathe again. Michael Chestnut: So how does this affect a man and his faith and his it's just not even his faith, you know, his life, relationships, dealing with the person that hit you. there's there's a lot of things that you've had to face or deal with or make decisions about that would be easily to be bitter, angry. and consuming, life consuming. David: so first off, let me say this, don't kid yourself. I I was bitter a lot. There were a lot of moments where I cursed her, I cursed God, I cursed everybody in the world, and there were moments when I was extremely bitter and angry. and I went through an emotional roller coaster for a lot of years. as far as the forgiveness part and then the faith part. I will I will say this first about the faith part. Over time, it actually incredibly strengthened my faith. you don't I I imagine, I mean, I can't I say you kinda as the royal you, but I can't imagine anybody have going through what I went through and having doctors tell you to your face, you should not. Mathematically, scientifically, and statistically, there's no way you should have survived. We didn't save you. God did. I mean, I had doctors telling this to my face that we there's Michael Chestnut: Mm-hmm. David: no reality under which we sh could have saved your life. You should not have lived. and that hits you kind of hard initially. You go, Wow, I have the best doctors. I mean, I the orthopedic surgeon I had was truly like the best orthopedic surgeon in the Southeast. He was that kind of doctor. And he's telling me, and other doctors are telling me there's no way you should have lived. and so I make this joke all the time. Obviously, God saved me for something. Now I just wish he'd send me a memo and let me know what it was. But Michael Chestnut: It well I think we all do. David: yeah, so so that's my running joke about it. But what it did to my number one, it increased my faith, but I tell people all the time. the other thing it did for me is I I don't need a Maserati, I don't need a 10,000 square foot mansion. I do need a Harley Davidson, that I do need. but I don't need those possessions. I mean, I drive a I drive a almost 20 year old pickup truck so that I can do the experiences in life. So I don't have a car payment, I do the experiences in life, and that's what That's what it made me realize as far as life goes, is the experiences and the people in your life are what count. So I will spend a fortune on experiencing God's world and experiencing God's people. If I happen to win the mega millions, I'll also take a ten thousand square foot mansion, but in the meantime, it's the experiences that are more important. Now to touch on the forgiveness part, there is people say all the time. They say this all the time, but there is absolute truth in this. I forgive, but I don't forget. And there's absolute truth in that. so I forgive her, but I will never forget what she she quite literally took everything from me that meant anything to me at the time. She took it all. and at the time, my wife, So I I had because of what I did for a living, they they waited to prosecute her till after I was fully functional again or or functional enough. because number one, if I had passed, there would have been additional charges for her. but because of who I was, they wanted to give me the opportunity to sit down with the prosecutor and all those people to go over what they were gonna proceed to do. I won't go into it too deep, but needless to say, what they decided to charge her with, and I didn't agree with. But that's part of being a police officer. We we make the charges and then the prosecutor decides how to proceed. and that's his discretion. But in that, my wife would say to me, Her court date is this, her court date is this, because she couldn't just go pay off the tickets. She got charged with traffic violations, which, as an accident investigator, I understand. Essentially what she did because I didn't die was traffic violations. so she said her court day's coming up. They wouldn't allow her to prepay the tickets, in other words, because of the result of her actions. she had to go to court. So my wife wanted me to go to court, wanted me to confront her, wanted me to look what you've done to me, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Now here's the reality when I say I forgave, but I don't forget, I I didn't never went to court. And I don't even know the lady's name. now it's in a box in my attic, the case file, all the reconstructions. because of what I again, because of what I did for a living, the other accident investigator gave me the raw constructions, not the sanitized file that's for public release. Michael Chestnut: Right. David: He gave me all the raw data. It's in a box, it's in the attic. I could go pull it out if I wanted to and look at it. But the reason I don't know her name and the reason I never went to confront her is I say this and I said this to my wife at the time. I said, if I don't know who she is and I don't remember anything about her other than the car she was driving, I said, I can't hate her. Michael Chestnut: Mm. David: I said, and quite frankly, with what I've had to go through and the second lease on life I've been given, hating her is a waste of my energy. She will never know. If I hate her, if I despise her for the rest of my life and it tears me apart, she will never know that and it will never affect her. Michael Chestnut: Mm. David: So hating her will only and not forgiving her will only hurt me. So people say to me all the time, how can you forgive? I forgave her not for her. I gave forgave her for me. Michael Chestnut: Right. David: And that's the way I look at it. and that's what quite frankly makes it possible. because Michael Chestnut: Right. David: if it was about her, I would never forgive her. Michael Chestnut: Right. And and sometimes there's I mean Hate and resentment never turn out good for us. I forget who said it, but resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die. You know, it it David: Mm-hmm. Michael Chestnut: it really affects you more than them. And, you know, but from from me and some of my listeners who've not been through what you've been through, I don't take light that. That is not an easy choice to get to. That takes that takes time probably with in prayer with God and working towards making that decision because the human side, I'm sure there's a human side to you that says, no, you do want, you know, payment. You do want David: Yeah. Michael Chestnut: there to be stuff done. So David: yeah, that's that's that's absolute. and it it was a it was a tough r wrestle. and there are times today when I when I still have my moments of but for this, my life would have turned out like this. But for what she did, I would have this. I would have that. I would have finished my career and walked out the door after almost thirty years with my head held high, instead of having my career cut short. I would have continued to do what I love. and it's been a long fight to get back. You know, my my motorcycle riding skills I still ride and I'm still able to ride, thank God. And I teach other people to ride now. which which to me is is very it's very rewarding because trust me, you don't make any money doing it. But Michael Chestnut: Well to me it's amazing that you can even that you're able to go back riding because w I'm not a motorcycle rider, but I know you gotta use your arms. And and since you only have what did you say, thirty five percent? David: That's my guess. I've never had it quantified. but my guess is, you know, when I mentally compare it to what normal function is, I would guess about thirty to thirty five percent. I can't do what I say is I can't do any micro stuff. I can only do extremely macro stuff. So I can't write. I can't with that hand. And I really can't write with the left one either, but that's a story for another time. but I can't do things like right, I can't do finite skills, I can't pick up a lot of things, I can't hold a lot of things. But on the flip side, I can turn a throttle, which is the right hand is the throttle hand on a motorcycle. I had my the front brake lever is also on the right side. so I have Well, before they came out with them, I had a I've got a customizer guy for my motorcycle and he bent the brake lever on my motorcycle. We intentionally bent it so that it was deeper inside my grip. Because Michael Chestnut: Mm-hmm. David: if it was at the tip of my fingers, I wouldn't be able to pull it. But if you get it closer to the base of my fingers, well then I can pull it. now I have adjustable brake levers. 'cause now they make adjustable brake levers. Michael Chestnut: Right. David: They didn't at the time. so now I have adjustable brake levers, I make adaptations. I do have to pay a little bit more of attention because I don't have the same grip strength. So the normal healthy adult male can can has a PSI grip of right around 100, give or take 10 or 20 points, 100 PSI. Whereas mine is about 35. Michael Chestnut: Okay. David: When I do a when I do a tester, I have about 35 pounds per square inch of grip. So obviously I have to be more conscious. I have to do some adaptations with the brake to still ride safely. Michael Chestnut: How about with your pelvis and and other is your hands basically the the main area or how does the rest of your body heal? David: Yeah, the hand as far as as far as loss of function, the hand is the main area. now with Michael Chestnut: That's amazing. David: with that many broken bones, because if you count the thirteen vertebrae fractures, the shattered pelvis, and then at different points in my life, and in my career, I also broke six ribs and broke my ankle. So twenty one broken bones, if you go across that, if if if you know, you or the people listening suffer from inflammatory pain, multiply that by 21 and apply it to the largest bone in your body. So the inflammatory pain catches up with me and limits me in some things here and there. But usually I just fight through it. But the the actual loss of function no matter what I do all resides within my hand and arm. Michael Chestnut: When you said this has increased your faith more, since this has happened, was that an easy journey or was that a long journey as well? David: so I had started that journey before the wreck. and I firmly believe that the wreck accelerated it. I without going too deep into it, I'm what I'm I'm what I call a recovering Lutheran. and for years because of what the organized Lutheran Church did, I didn't step foot in a church for decades. quite literally decades. the only time I would go to church is when I worked the night shift. at the police department, our lieutenant would allow us to we had at the time we got earbud microphones for our radios, so you you couldn't hear hear our radios, it was directly in our ears. And he would let us go to church if we were working Christmas Eve for the midnight candlelight service, as long as we stayed on the radio and ran out the door if we had to. So I would go to that Christmas Eve. But other than that, I wouldn't step foot in a church because of what had occurred to me and my family. And strangely enough, when I moved in to the house I live in now in 2007, I had heard about a church in the area that had motorcycle only parking. And so I figured because one of the things I've always despised about church is The dogma. I I can't stand the regimented dogma. I've come to believe in my life. If if you believe in God, worship God, but to have to do it by saying this creed at this time, and and you know, I I don't know what what kind of church you have an experience with, but everybody stands in the church. It's like the it's like the scene from if you're into Monty Python, where the monks are walking down the road hitting themselves in the head with the board boards after a chant. Michael Chestnut: Mm-hmm. David: so I've always despised the dogma. So I figured any church that had motorcycle-only parking had dispensed with the dogma. So I literally Googled church in my area that has motorcycle-only parking. I found this church. I rode my motorcycle. There were about 20 motorcycles parked in the parking lot. I went into the church. I attended one service and went. I'm home. I found a church with no dogma where people show up in motorcycle biker leathers. Michael Chestnut: Mm-hmm. David: And if you don't ride a motorcycle, you show up in shirts and t-shirts and shorts and t-shirts and and you don't have to dress a certain way, you don't have to say a creed at a certain time. and I've been there ever since. so that and as ironically, I'm also on the security team on Sundays. But but so that finding that church, I had a desire to reconnect with my faith before the wreck and started that process through this church. And then and then like I said, the wreck just accelerated. In my opinion. Michael Chestnut: So let me ask this question, especially before we we we get out of here, because there's just so much that directions that we can we we could take with this. But now that you're this many years out outside of this, I mean there's a lot of lessons in your your your story. One, which I hope people take away is you know, the texting and driving thing, that is just out of this world crazy right now. I mean, you can't I you see it all the time. I I live in Pensacola. I've never seen so many wrecks in my life than I have since I since I've moved here, you know? And a lot of it is distracted drivers, you know. so your story hits really, really hard on that. How, you know, you not being aware of your surroundings and and driving properly can affect someone else's life 'cause from what everything it sounds like, she walked away from this unscathed and you you walked away with the price. David: Yeah, she largely walked away unscathed. I I take comfort in the fact that because of the financial cost of what she did for her and her insurance company, I took I took comfort in the fact that tiny bit of retribution that for the next seven ish years she probably couldn't afford auto insurance because it was 'cause Michael Chestnut: I imagine. David: n cause she was pretty much at that point uninsurable. you don't you don't have a wreck like that. I mean, my medical bills, now my health insurance paid my medical bills at the time, but my medical bills alone were just in the immediate, that first six months of being in the hospital and all that stuff, just in that six months my medical bills were almost three million dollars. Michael Chestnut: gonna say. I I can't even imagine. David: Yeah, so an insurance company, I took like I said, I took comfort in the fact that she was basically uninsurable and and using Uber and Lyft to get around for the next five to seven years 'cause she was essentially Michael Chestnut: yeah. David: uninsurable. so that was her consequence. so Michael Chestnut: So before we close, what what are some of the things like I said earlier, I was telling you, you know, I I've heard a lot of people forgiveness is a tough one. it's also a daily it can be a daily thing, you know, like like you said, it's there's I mean, there's some times when it probably hits you more than others, you know. what is some advice that you would give to people listening to this podcast? on forgiving someone and and the way it can help move you forward. David: So the biggest piece of advice I would give is is what I said earlier. Recognize, and this is hard to realize and recognize when you're living this, recognize that not forgiving doesn't hurt them. It only hurts you. In the end, it only hurts you. So that's the biggest piece of advice that I would I would I would give people is why you've been through this, if you've been through this amazingly tragic, devastating, life-altering experience, why make it worse on yourself? And I I say that almost off the cuff. Like I came to that realization in five minutes of pondering and thought. No, I came to that realization after months and years of being angry and being upset Michael Chestnut: Mm-hmm. David: and being wanting to take vengeance and wanting to I came to that after months and years and when She doesn't know I want vengeance. She doesn't know. She probably doesn't even know that I lost my career. She probably doesn't even know. So why not forgive her? Why not say you did what you did, you suffered your consequences. I'm I'm living with mine, but I don't need to hate you for the rest of my life. It only hurts you. It only hurts you. that would be the biggest Michael Chestnut: Yep. And I think that means David: advice. Michael Chestnut: I think that means a lot more coming from someone in your situation because I I you know, when people go through some of the hardest things in our life, us Christians can sometimes say the dumbest things because we're we're trying to fix the situation and and we can't. We can't fix it. all we can do is walk alongside someone as they're going through it and and be there as they're figuring it out. You know, so but I also know that Han handling what you've gone through, going through that. there you said it earlier, you you wish God could give you a memo on what that purpose is that he has for you, but he's kind of already doing a purpose through you by ha b by you being willing to come on podcasts like this and tell your story to help other people who I mean, some people there's I have I remember this resentful moment in my life. It wasn't even nothing towards like what you went through. I was angry and bitter at some guy and I would argue with him all the time. The only problem was he was never in the car when I was arguing. I was arguing with his ghost, you know? And David: Yeah. Michael Chestnut: it was two years later I went to him and finally said, I forgive you. And he's like, Well what did I do? You know, and I'm sitting there going, then I got I was even more mad because I'd been angry David: Right. Michael Chestnut: for two years and this guy didn't even have a clue. That there was a problem. David: there was a problem. and that just I I hate to say it, but that just kind of proves my point. Now she knows what she did, Michael Chestnut: Mm-hmm. Right. David: but she doesn't know she she doesn't know what I went through. So that just kind of proves my point that really you only hurt yourself. Michael Chestnut: Yep. And you and and it also is laying things in God's hands is the hardest thing because you know, you don't know, but you can pray that God maybe God uses this accident in some way to affect her. That that but that's all you can do is hope for that. And for you, the best thing that you can do for you and for your family is to forget because that resentment and Unforgiveness is going to punish someone. And it's usually not going to be the person that it's meant for. And people who go through things like you have, the divorce rate is extremely high. You know, family member it the the bitterness just cascades into a bunch of different areas. David: Yeah, I here's the way I kinda put it. this is my tongue in cheek phrase, is I had I had more excuse than probably anybody most people know to climb into a bottle. Michael Chestnut: Mm-hmm. David: And I just I wasn't going there. I wasn't going there and something inside me said, Don't go there. I mean, I don't even take I don't even you know, every doctor in the world has except the doctors that I like and and listen to me has tried to put me on narcotic pain medication over the years. Michael Chestnut: Mm-hmm. David: And if you've ever been on narcotic pain medication, let me tell you what, the movies are accurate that have have cursed the opioid pain addiction. it's the worst thing in the world. And so Michael Chestnut: It is. David: I just I mean now unfortunately there are days when I eat Advil like it's candy, but I won't do narcotic pain medication. I do some other things and I'm getting ready to look into acupuncture for some pain relief, but I'm not gonna live doped up or drunk because of what happened to me. Michael Chestnut: Right. Right. David: I'm just not. Michael Chestnut: Well, and I can appreciate that. I went through my spout here a medical and they they had to put me on some opiates for that, pain meds, whatever. I couldn't do it. I just I my body reacts. I don't I don't even know how people do it. I the anxiety it caused me, the itching, everything else, I'm like, I'll I'll deal with the pain. I'll I'll deal with the pain before I deal with David: Yeah. Now Michael Chestnut: And then also just being in that fog and not knowing what you're saying, what you're doing, everything else. I just it's not a life. David: I mean I w I will say this. In the moment there wasn't a choice. When I was recovering and in the hospitals, they I mean, quite frankly, a lot of people look at me like, my God, but at one point they had me on fentanyl, the infamous fentanyl, which Michael Chestnut: Right. Right. David: is the most I mean it's it's morphine times a hundred. Michael Chestnut: Right. David: so th there it there was a point where I didn't have a choice, initially, but in the long term, no way. No way. Michael Chestnut: Hmm, yeah. Well, David, listen, thank you so much for coming on here, sharing your story. Before we go, you have a YouTube channel, and I know that some of the guys would really like you. You and and I got I give you kudos too. I I looked at some of your videos. You've they're very well done. and you know, it it's it's an it's an art. It really is. And David: I'm getting better. Yeah. I I've had a blast doing it. I I've just I really enjoy it. I'm not giving up. I'm gonna keep going. Michael Chestnut: Well, we're gonna make sure that we put a link in there because I got a lot of buddies who ride motorcycles. we we just gave our pastor this year, he turned fifty and a bunch of the members we got together and we bought him a Harley Davison for his for his birthday this year, you know. So he was he he's on cloud nine with that. so I know plenty of people. My I mean I I can't even ride a bike with training wheels, so I'm not even going to attempt. to get on a motorcycle. I it just doesn't work. I would love to, but no, thank you. So, but thank you for that. We'll make sure we have a link for that in there. Any last words? David: Yeah, I appreciate that. now that that pretty much sums it up. for those who don't know 'cause you asked, the channel is called The Road Taught Me, as in The Road Taught Me This or The Road Taught Me That. And then I have a I have a dot com and all that as well. So Michael Chestnut: Okay, well we'll make sure that we have that all in the descriptions for you guys to to to go check out. And if this story affected you in some way, share it. You know, I know plenty of people myself who deal with resentment, unforgiveness, or have had crappy life's handed them a crappy deck of cards, you know, and sometimes it is what it is, but You know, it's what we choose to do. You know, just like you saying, you know, you you made a choice to not even know her name, to not know what she looks like, so that you could keep from being angry at her and not forgiving her. You know, that was a choice you made. And so a lot of times we have to make hard choices so that we can do what God wants us to do in our life and to be the husband and the father and the that we're called to be. And it's not Always promise to be easy. Not always. So David: No, and I that would be kind of my last thing I would say is I don't want anybody out there that thinks that this was I woke up one day and made these choices. this was a hard, long fought process. And I I you know, it was a lot of two steps forward, one step back. It was a lot of Michael Chestnut: Mm-hmm. David: fighting. so you know, don't think for a minute, people listening, that I just suddenly woke up and went, Yep, this is what I'm gonna do. No, no, no. Michael Chestnut: Yeah. David: It was it was a long process. Michael Chestnut: Yeah. Well, David, again, thank you for being on the show today. Thank you for sharing your story with us. continue to pray for your for more healing in you. but enjoy watching your shows too and seeing your next trip, where you're going to. And to my listeners, until next David: I appreciate it. Michael Chestnut: time, just keep being intentional. We'll talk to you later.